Thursday, October 17, 2024



James Donaldson on Mental Health - Death of 17-year-old 'America's Got Talent' contestant puts spotlight on teens and suicide
James Donaldson on Mental Health - Death of 17-year-old 'America's Got Talent' contestant puts spotlight on teens and suicide

ByKatie Kindelan 

How much is too much? Exploring possible dangers of teen social media use

How much is too much? Exploring possible dangers of teen social media use

The death of a 17-year-old who appeared on "America's Got Talent" with her high school dance team has sparked a conversation on teens and mental health.

Emily Gold, a varsity dance captain and senior at Los Osos High School in Rancho Cucamonga, California, died by suicide, according to the San Bernardino County Sheriff's Department Coroner's Office, which lists Sept. 14, as her date of death.

Gold appeared in August in the quarterfinals of the competition show "America's Got Talent" with the Los Osos High School dance team. https://standingabovethecrowd.com/james-donaldson-on-mental-health-death-of-17-year-old-americas-got-talent-contestant-puts-spotlight-on-teens-and-suicide/

James Donaldson on Mental Health - Death of 17-year-old 'America's Got Talent' contestant puts spotlight on teens and suicide

James Donaldson on Mental Health - Death of 17-year-old 'America's Got Talent' contestant puts spotlight on teens and suicide

James Donaldson on Mental Health - Death of 17-year-old 'America's Got Talent' contestant puts spotlight on teens and suicide


ByKatie Kindelan GMA logo


How much is too much? Exploring possible dangers of teen social media use


How much is too much? Exploring possible dangers of teen social media use


The death of a 17-year-old who appeared on "America's Got Talent" with her high school dance team has sparked a conversation on teens and mental health.


Emily Gold, a varsity dance captain and senior at Los Osos High School in Rancho Cucamonga, California, died by suicide, according to the San Bernardino County Sheriff's Department Coroner's Office, which lists Sept. 14, as her date of death.


Gold appeared in August in the quarterfinals of the competition show "America's Got Talent" with the Los Osos High School dance team.

https://standingabovethecrowd.com/james-donaldson-on-mental-health-death-of-17-year-old-americas-got-talent-contestant-puts-spotlight-on-teens-and-suicide/

Tuesday, October 15, 2024



James Donaldson on Mental Health - Teen Suicides: What Are the Risk Factors?
James Donaldson on Mental Health - Teen Suicides: What Are the Risk Factors?

Temperament, family and community all play a role

Writer: Nadine Kaslow, PhD

Clinical Experts: Nadine Kaslow, PhD , Ramon Burgos, MD

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n_55PHBlPHk&t=2s&ab_channel=ChildMindInstitute

What You'll Learn

- When should you take talk about suicide seriously?

- What signs of suicide should you watch for?

- What are “protective factors” against teen suicide?

#James Donaldson notes:Welcome to the “next chapter” of my life… being a voice and an advocate for #mentalhealthawarenessandsuicideprevention, especially pertaining to our younger generation of students and student-athletes.Getting men to speak up and reach out for help and assistance is one of my passions. Us men need to not suffer in silence or drown our sorrows in alcohol, hang out at bars and strip joints, or get involved with drug use.Having gone through a recent bout of #depression and #suicidalthoughts myself, I realize now, that I can make a huge difference in the lives of so many by sharing my story, and by sharing various resources I come across as I work in this space.  #http://bit.ly/JamesMentalHealthArticleFind out more about the work I do on my 501c3 non-profit foundationwebsite www.yourgiftoflife.org Order your copy of James Donaldson's latest book,#CelebratingYourGiftofLife: From The Verge of Suicide to a Life of Purpose and Joy

www.celebratingyourgiftoflife.com

Link for 40 Habits Signupbit.ly/40HabitsofMentalHealth

If you'd like to follow and receive my daily blog in to your inbox, just click on it with Follow It. Here's the link https://follow.it/james-donaldson-s-standing-above-the-crowd-s-blog-a-view-from-above-on-things-that-make-the-world-go-round?action=followPub

Some people think that when teens talk about killing themselves, they just want attention, and they should be ignored. It’s not true. Any talk about suicide is something to take seriously.

Sadness, avoiding friends and family, anxiety and doing dangerous things are also signs a child might need help. So is talking about dying, even if you think they don’t mean it.

It’s impossible to predict whether a young person might become suicidal. But there are things that put them at a higher risk.

Recent or serious losses increase risk for suicide. Losses include death of a family member, friend or even pet. Other kinds of losses are risk factors too. Parents divorcing, loss of their home or a breakup are all risk factors.

Other risk factors are mental health problems like depression, anxiety and substance abuse. Past suicide attempts, a family history of suicide, or having a way to get a gun are big risks as well. If a kid is struggling with their sexual identity in a family or community that is not supportive, that can be a risk. So can bullying at any age for any reason. And if a kid doesn’t feel like they can rely on friends and family, that’s a problem too.

But there are also things in a teen’s life that may help protect them from suicide. For one thing, kids who feel loved and supported are less likely to think about suicide. That also goes for kids who are good problem solvers. Having access to good healthcare and mental health care is an important plus. And having parents who are willing to get help when their kid needs it is huge.

One of the myths about suicidal talk, and actual suicide attempts, in young people is that they are just a bid for attention or “a cry for help.” Kids who talk or write about killing themselves are dismissed as overly dramatic—obviously, they don’t mean it! But a threat of suicide should never be dismissed, even from a kid who cries “Wolf!” so many times it’s tempting to stop taking them seriously. It’s important to respond to threats and other warning signs in a serious and thoughtful manner. They don’t automatically mean that a child is going to attempt suicide. But it’s a chance you can’t take.

When thinking about this, it helps to understand what factors make a young person more or less likely to consider or attempt suicide. What do we know about young people who try to kill themselves or who actually die by suicide? Let’s take a look at both the risk factors—things that increase the likelihood that a child will engage in suicidal behavior—and the protective factors, or things that reduce the risk.

If a child has a lot of risk factors and hardly any protective factors you need to be extremely concerned about them. On the other hand, if they have a fair number of risk factors but a lot of protective factors you may be somewhat less concerned, although you still, of course, need to be concerned.

Here are some key suicide risk factors:

- A recent or serious loss. This might include the death of a family member, a friend, or a pet. The separation or divorce of parents, or a breakup with a boyfriend or a girlfriend, can also be felt as a profound loss, along with a parent losing a job or the family losing their home.

- A psychiatric disorder, particularly a mood disorder like depression, or a trauma– and stress-related disorder.

- Prior suicide attempts increase the risk of another suicide attempt.

- Alcohol and other substance use disorders, as well as getting into a lot of trouble, having disciplinary problems, and engaging in a lot of high-risk behaviors.

- Struggling with sexual orientation in an environment that is not respectful or accepting of that orientation. The issue is not whether a child is gay or lesbian but whether they are struggling to come out in an unsupportive environment.

- A family history of suicide is something that can be really significant and concerning, as is a history of domestic violence, child abuse, or neglect.

- Lack of social support. A child who doesn’t feel support from significant adults in their life, as well as their friends, can become so isolated that suicide seems to present the only way out of their problems.

- Bullying. We know that being a victim of bullying is a risk factor, but there’s also some evidence that kids who are bullies may be at increased risk for suicidal behavior.

- Access to lethal means, like firearms and pills.

- Stigma associated with asking for help. One of the things we know is that the more hopeless and helpless people feel, the more likely they are to choose to hurt themselves or end their life. Similarly, if they feel a lot of guilt or shame, or if they feel worthless or have low self-esteem.

- Barriers to accessing services: Difficulties in getting much-needed services include lack of bilingual service providers, unreliable transportation, and the financial cost of services.

- Cultural and religious beliefs that suicide is a noble way to resolve a personal dilemma.

But what about protective factors, things that can mitigate the risk of engaging in suicidal behavior?

Here are some key protective factors:

- Good problem-solving abilities. Kids who are able to see a problem and figure out effective ways to manage it, to resolve conflicts in non-violent ways are at lower risk.

- Strong connections. The stronger the connections kids have to their families, their friends, and to people in the community, the less likely they are to harm themselves. Partly, that’s because they feel loved and supported, and partly because they have people to turn to when they’re struggling and feel really challenged.

- Restricted access to highly lethal means of suicide.

- Cultural and religious beliefs discourage suicide and that support self-preservation.

- Relatively easy access to appropriate clinical intervention, whether that be psychotherapy, individual, group, family therapy, or medication if indicated.

- Effective care for mental, physical, and substance use disorders. Good medical and mental health care involves ongoing relationships, making kids feel connected to professionals who take care of them and are available to them.

So what do you do if your child fits the profile of someone at risk for youth suicide? Warning signs of suicide to be alert to include changes in personality or behavior that might not be obviously related to suicide. When a teenager becomes sad, more withdrawn, more irritable, anxious, tired, or apathetic—things that used to be fun aren’t fun anymore—you should be concerned. Changes in sleep patterns or eating habits can also be red flags.

Acting erratically or recklessly is also a warning sign. If a teen starts making really poor judgments or they start doing things that are harmful to themself or other people, like bullying or fighting, it can be a sign that they are spinning out of control.

And, finally, if a child is talking about dying, you should always pay attention. “I wish I was dead.” “I just want to disappear.” “Maybe I should jump off that building.” “Maybe I should shoot myself.” “You’d all be better off if I wasn’t around.” When you hear this kind of talk, it’s important to take it seriously—even if you can’t imagine your child meaning it seriously.

What to do? The first thing to do is talk.

For more information and resources on suicide, see the APA’s suicide help page. https://standingabovethecrowd.com/?p=13126

James Donaldson on Mental Health - You can help prevent suicide if you’re willing to ask the question

James Donaldson on Mental Health - You can help prevent suicide if you’re willing to ask the question

James Donaldson on Mental Health - You can help prevent suicide if you’re willing to ask the question


You don’t need be a superhero to save a life. You can simply begin with a caring conversation.


It’s not an easy conversation, but this month is Suicide Awareness Month, and the courage you show when you talk to someone who’s struggling might be lifesaving to a friend or family member.


It’s easy for us to pretend it’s not happening, but ignoring mental health conditions is not an option, because they have a potential serious outcome. The National Institute of Mental Health reports that more than 90% of people who die from suicide have depression and other mental disorders, or a substance abuse disorder. More than 50,000 people die by suicide in the U.S. every year.


Professionals in behavioral health care often refer to stigma. Nobody is embarrassed because they broke their leg. Few folks ask for apologies when it comes to a newly diagnosed disease like cancer.


But stigma with mental health exists. Talking about how we feel, inside and out, is not a “norm” in society, especially here in the Midwest where many people have the mentality of “pulling yourself up by your own bootstraps.”


Farmers and ranchers especially deal with stressors such as bad weather, rising expenses, unfavorable commodity prices, uncertain government policies and debt. In communities like ours, we are blessed with connections with those around us. Yet too many people might feel alone in their struggle.


#James Donaldson notes:
Welcome to the “next chapter” of my life… being a voice and an advocate for #mentalhealthawarenessandsuicideprevention, especially pertaining to our younger generation of students and student-athletes.
Getting men to speak up and reach out for help and assistance is one of my passions. Us men need to not suffer in silence or drown our sorrows in alcohol, hang out at bars and strip joints, or get involved with drug use.
Having gone through a recent bout of #depression and #suicidalthoughts myself, I realize now, that I can make a huge difference in the lives of so many by sharing my story, and by sharing various resources I come across as I work in this space.
  #http://bit.ly/JamesMentalHealthArticle
Find out more about the work I do on my 501c3 non-profit foundation
website www.yourgiftoflife.org Order your copy of James Donaldson's latest book,
#CelebratingYourGiftofLife: From The Verge of Suicide to a Life of Purpose and Joy



www.celebratingyourgiftoflife.com


Link for 40 Habits Signup
bit.ly/40HabitsofMentalHealth


If you'd like to follow and receive my daily blog in to your inbox, just click on it with Follow It. Here's the link https://follow.it/james-donaldson-s-standing-above-the-crowd-s-blog-a-view-from-above-on-things-that-make-the-world-go-round?action=followPub


Warning Signs of Suicide


• Thinking, talking or writing about dying from suicide


• Developing a plan about attempting suicide


• Believing that death is the only solution to their problems


• Displaying depression, fatigue, anxiety, irritation, aggression or anger


• Holding onto feelings of humiliation, shame or hopelessness


• Withdrawing from relationships with family and friends


• Losing interest in things they usually enjoy


• Using alcohol or drugs


• Sleeping too much or too little


• Poor work or school performance


• Giving away things they own


How to Help a Friend or Family Member


If someone you care about seems to be displaying these signs, you can help. Research shows that directly asking someone if they are thinking about suicide in a compassionate and caring way is effective. It can open a meaningful, honest conversation that might save a life. Use these tips to ask the question sensitively and with sincerity:


• Be compassionate and respond with kindness.


• Allow the individual to express themselves in full.


• Actively listen. Be aware of their nonverbal cues as well as your own.


• Reaffirm that their concerns and pain are valid — and they are worthy of help and recovery.


• Be courageous and ask the question: “Are you thinking about suicide?”


If the person says “yes,” be sure to stay by their side and help ensure that person gets help.


Seeking Help


Your local primary care provider can help you or a family member with mental health concerns, and if needed, they can refer you to the right resources.


The national 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline is available 24/7. You – or anyone you know – can call or text 988 and speak to a qualified person who can listen and refer you to additional resources or whatever else you might need. Calls are confidential.


In a crisis situation, go to your nearest emergency department.


If you or a family member is dealing with any type of mental health issue or stress, you can also call the Avera Farm and Rural Stress Hotline at 800-691-4336 to talk to a mental health professional who can connect you to resources close to home.


Talking about suicide with someone facing depression could be the step they need in order to take action toward positive outcomes. Learn more and find helpful resources at Avera.org/AskTheQuestion.


https://standingabovethecrowd.com/james-donaldson-on-mental-health-you-can-help-prevent-suicide-if-youre-willing-to-ask-the-question/

Monday, October 14, 2024

James Donaldson on Mental Health - Signs a Child Might Be Suicidal

James Donaldson on Mental Health - Signs a Child Might Be Suicidal

James Donaldson on Mental Health - Signs a Child Might Be Suicidal



What to watch out for and how to help


Writer: Rachel Ehmke


Clinical Expert: Ramon Burgos, MD


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jh3wd4AFT4c&ab_channel=ChildMindInstitute


Important:
If you or someone you know needs help now, call 988 to reach the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline.


Some young people who are thinking about suicide let people close to them know that they are in pain and are open about needing help. Others hide their feelings from family and friends. If you are wondering if your child is suicidal, experts say that asking them is the best way to find out.


Parents sometimes worry that asking about suicide may make it more likely, but that isn’t the case, and asking is very important. For children who have a hard time admitting they need help, it sends the message that a parent cares very much about them, and that struggling and asking for help is okay. That conversation can be lifesaving.


While asking is the best way to find out, there are also some warning signs to watch out for if you are worried about suicide, including the following:


- Isolation from friends and family
- Problems eating or sleeping
- Mood swings
- Reckless behavior
- Dropping grades
- Increased use of alcohol or drugs
- Giving away belongings
- Talking about feeling hopeless or trapped
- Talking about being a burden to others or not belonging
- Talking about suicide or wanting to die
- Writing or drawing about suicide or acting it out in play

There are also some risk factors that may make some people more vulnerable to suicide, like a family history of suicide, bullying, and access to things like firearms and pills. Struggling with a mental health disorder or alcohol and substance abuse can also be factors. Learn more about risk factors and protective factors here.


If your child has any of the warning signs above, ask them if they are thinking about suicide. If you are worried that they may attempt suicide, call 911. Experts agree that suicidal thoughts should always be taken seriously.


Learn about a form of OCD in which people obsess over the idea of suicide, but are not actually suicidal.


#James Donaldson notes:
Welcome to the “next chapter” of my life… being a voice and an advocate for #mentalhealthawarenessandsuicideprevention, especially pertaining to our younger generation of students and student-athletes.
Getting men to speak up and reach out for help and assistance is one of my passions. Us men need to not suffer in silence or drown our sorrows in alcohol, hang out at bars and strip joints, or get involved with drug use.
Having gone through a recent bout of #depression and #suicidalthoughts myself, I realize now, that I can make a huge difference in the lives of so many by sharing my story, and by sharing various resources I come across as I work in this space.
  #http://bit.ly/JamesMentalHealthArticle
Find out more about the work I do on my 501c3 non-profit foundation
website www.yourgiftoflife.org Order your copy of James Donaldson's latest book,
#CelebratingYourGiftofLife: From The Verge of Suicide to a Life of Purpose and Joy



www.celebratingyourgiftoflife.com


Link for 40 Habits Signup
bit.ly/40HabitsofMentalHealth


If you'd like to follow and receive my daily blog in to your inbox, just click on it with Follow It. Here's the link https://follow.it/james-donaldson-s-standing-above-the-crowd-s-blog-a-view-from-above-on-things-that-make-the-world-go-round?action=followPub


https://standingabovethecrowd.com/james-donaldson-on-mental-health-signs-a-child-might-be-suicidal/

Sunday, October 13, 2024



James Donaldson on Mental Health - How Are Self-Injury and Suicide Related?
Self Harm

James Donaldson on Mental Health - How Are Self-Injury and Suicide Related?

The intent is different, though one can lead to the other

Clinical Expert: Janis Whitlock, PhD, and Elizabeth Lloyd-Richardson, PhD

- Differences

- Common risk factors

- Reducing inhibition to suicidal behavior 

This is an excerpt from Healing Self-Injury: A Compassionate Guide for Parents and Other Loved Ones, by Janis Whitlock, PhD, and Elizabeth Lloyd-Richardson, PhD.

It’s not unusual for young people who are struggling with painful feelings to engage in self-injury — things such as cutting, burning or scratching themselves until they bleed. Knowing that a child is intent on harming themselves is very upsetting to parents, and many worry that self-injury is a sign that their child is suicidal.

Self-injury and suicidal behaviors — imagining, planning or attempting suicide — are related, but the relationship between the two is confusing. Because they can look similar, it can be very difficult to tell the difference between them. But there are important differences in the intention as well as the danger: Self-injury is virtually always used to feel better rather than to end one’s life. Indeed, some people who self-injure are clear that it helps them to avoid suicide. In fact, the technical term for self-injury is non-suicidal self-injury, or NSSI.

Differences

Self-injury and suicide differ in multiple ways, including:

The intent: The intent of self-injury is almost always to feel better, whereas for suicide it is to end feeling (and, hence, life) altogether.

The method used: Methods for self-injury typically cause damage to the surface of the body only. Suicide-related behaviors are much more lethal. Notably, it is very uncommon for individuals who practice self-injury and who are also suicidal to identify the same methods for each purpose.

Level of damage and lethality: Self-injury is often carried out using methods designed to damage the body but not to injure the body badly enough to require treatment or to end life. Suicide attempts are typically more lethal than standard NSSI methods.

Frequency: Self-injury is often used regularly or off-and-on to manage stress and other emotions. Suicide-related behaviors are much more rare.

Level of psychological pain: The level of psychological distress experienced in self-injury is often significantly lower than that which gives rise to suicidal thoughts and behaviors. Moreover, self-injury tends to reduce arousal for many of those who use it and, for many individuals who have considered suicide, is used as a way to avoid attempting suicide.

Presence of cognitive constriction: Cognitive constriction is black-and-white thinking — seeing things as all or nothing, good or bad, one way or the other. It allows for very little ambiguity. Individuals who are suicidal often experience high cognitive constriction. The intensity of cognitive constriction is less severe in individuals who use self-injury as a coping mechanism.

Aftermath: Although unintentional death does occur with self-injury, it is not common. The aftermath of a typical self-injury incident is short-term improvement in sense of well-being and functioning. The aftermath of a suicide-related gesture or attempt is precisely the opposite.

Common risk factors

Despite differences and intention, suicidal thoughts and behaviors and self-injury do share common risk factors. Some of these include:

- High emotional sensitivity

- A history of trauma, abuse, or chronic stress

- Extreme emotion or lack of emotion

- A tendency to suppress emotions coupled with few effective mechanisms for dealing with emotional stress

- Feelings of isolation (this can be invisible in people who seem to have many friends/connections)

- A history of alcohol or substance abuse.

Because of these common risk factors, it is important for you to know that youth who self-injure are also at increased risk for suicidality. Our work shows that about 65 percent of youth who self-injure will also be suicidal at some point (though many will not go beyond having suicidal thoughts). For many, self-injury is used alone or in combination with other behaviors as a way to keep emotional distress or disconnectedness at a manageable level.Although suicidal thoughts and behaviors can occur before self-injury is used, in most cases, suicidal thoughts and behaviors coincide with or come after self-injury starts. It is also important to note that only 36 percent of adults who self-injure in the United States reported having ever felt suicidal while engaging in self-injury, meaning that the majority of individuals who injure have never felt suicidal while engaging in self-injury.

#James Donaldson notes:Welcome to the “next chapter” of my life… being a voice and an advocate for #mentalhealthawarenessandsuicideprevention, especially pertaining to our younger generation of students and student-athletes.Getting men to speak up and reach out for help and assistance is one of my passions. Us men need to not suffer in silence or drown our sorrows in alcohol, hang out at bars and strip joints, or get involved with drug use.Having gone through a recent bout of #depression and #suicidalthoughts myself, I realize now, that I can make a huge difference in the lives of so many by sharing my story, and by sharing various resources I come across as I work in this space.  #http://bit.ly/JamesMentalHealthArticleFind out more about the work I do on my 501c3 non-profit foundationwebsite www.yourgiftoflife.org Order your copy of James Donaldson's latest book,#CelebratingYourGiftofLife: From The Verge of Suicide to a Life of Purpose and Joy

www.celebratingyourgiftoflife.com

Link for 40 Habits Signupbit.ly/40HabitsofMentalHealth

If you'd like to follow and receive my daily blog in to your inbox, just click on it with Follow It. Here's the link https://follow.it/james-donaldson-s-standing-above-the-crowd-s-blog-a-view-from-above-on-things-that-make-the-world-go-round?action=followPub

Reducing inhibition to suicidal behavior 

Although self-injury does not cause suicide, the other important thing to know about the relationship between self-injury and suicide is that the very act of engaging in self-injury reduces inhibition to suicidal behavior if someone becomes suicidal. In other words, having “practiced” injuring the body repeatedly makes it easier to actually injure the body with suicidal intent.

Other factors that can place someone at greater risk of moving from self-injury to suicide include:

- Greater family conflict and poor relationship with parents

- More than 20 lifetime NSSI incidents

- Psychological distress in the past 30 days

- A history of emotional or sexual trauma

- Greater feelings of hopelessness

- Identifying self-hatred, wanting to feel something, practicing or avoiding suicide as reasons for self-injury

- High impulsivity and engagement in risky behaviors

- Substance use

- A diagnosis of major depressive disorder (MDD) or PTSD

These risk factors may be present individually or in clusters. The more of these your child has, the higher their risk is of at least having suicidal thoughts (this is called “suicidal ideation”).

What is especially important for you to know is that one of the most powerful protective factors against moving from self-injury to suicide is a feeling of connectedness to parents. Indeed, the consistency with which parents show up in our studies as important sources of support for their children is one of the reasons we wrote this book!

Self Harm https://standingabovethecrowd.com/james-donaldson-on-mental-health-how-are-self-injury-and-suicide-related/


James Donaldson on Mental Health - Talking Openly and Honestly About Suicide
James Donaldson on Mental Health - Talking Openly and Honestly About Suicide

Personal Perspective: Let’s shed the stigma of discussing suicide.

Reviewed by Gary Drevitch

2024 marks 10 years since my most recent suicide attempt and subsequent psychiatric admission. This is considerable progress for someone who has attempted suicide four times and has had over 20 psychiatric hospitalizations throughout the span of almost three decades.

I used to mark off the years that passed by without an admission on an imaginary chalkboard. I’d put an asterisk next to those that involved a suicide attempt. When I was readmitted, an imaginary eraser wiped the board clean, only to have to start again.

My first suicide attempt came in 1986. I was 25. I had been in therapy for about two years, and I didn’t realize how depressed I was. Getting up each day, taking the F train into Manhattan, and doing what was expected at work were all signs of normalcy. I wasn’t aware one could function and still be depressed. One night, at home alone, I felt as if it would be impossible to face the next day.

According to the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention, suicide is the 11th-leading cause of death in the US. In 2022, 49,476 Americans died by suicide and there were an estimated 1.6 million attempts.

The stigma surrounding suicide compounds the likelihood that people won’t share their intent. There is a feeling of embarrassment or that they must be “crazy.” A perception exists that their character is being judged, that they’re a bad person, or that they have failed.

In my late twenties, I was diagnosed with anorexia and major depressive disorder. I made a second suicide attempt in 1989, after losing my job due to a second extended hospitalization for the anorexia. (This was prior to the Americans With Disabilities Act.) I worked for eight years straight after college climbing a ladder from a secretary at an advertising agency to a consumer promotion development manager at one of the largest packaged goods firms in the world.

A study published in The American Journal of Psychiatry states, “A prior history of suicide attempt is considered one of the most robust predictors of eventually completed suicide.” A separate study states that “More than 80% of subsequent completed suicides occurring within a year of initial attempt.”

article continues after advertisement

I was angry that I had not succeeded. Despondent about the loss of my job, I felt as if I’d lost everything that mattered. Prior to the anorexia, I spent all my free time playing softball in Central Park on three corporate teams. After games we’d head to a bar on Third Avenue. Even my social life was tied to my work.

A diagnosis of borderline personality disorder (BPD) followed this second attempt. A review on the stigma and its impact on healthcare for BPD states, “people with BPD are a high-risk group for suicide which is often triggered by heightened emotions and repetitive cycles of intense distress and crises.” I was admitted to a long-term psychiatric unit that specialized in treating patients diagnosed with BPD with a then new therapy known as dialectical behavior therapy (DBT). My insurance declared that they would no longer pay after I’d been on the unit for 10 months. I was nowhere ready to be discharged. After leaving the hospital, I floundered. I attended a BPD day program for 18 months while residing in a supervised residence for three years. I outstayed my welcome. I constantly tested the limits by engaging in self-destructive behavior, upping the ante each time. I imagine I became a liability.

I saw my therapist from the day program in her private practice for over 10 years, and my sense of self fluctuated wildly. My mood soared when one of my old bosses from my consumer promotion days gave me a job. When I was unable to catch up with advances in the industry, I resigned and disparaged myself, becoming suicidal. I jammed my car into a pole head on, albeit at a slow speed. I was hospitalized again.

#James Donaldson notes:Welcome to the “next chapter” of my life… being a voice and an advocate for #mentalhealthawarenessandsuicideprevention, especially pertaining to our younger generation of students and student-athletes.Getting men to speak up and reach out for help and assistance is one of my passions. Us men need to not suffer in silence or drown our sorrows in alcohol, hang out at bars and strip joints, or get involved with drug use.Having gone through a recent bout of #depression and #suicidalthoughts myself, I realize now, that I can make a huge difference in the lives of so many by sharing my story, and by sharing various resources I come across as I work in this space.  #http://bit.ly/JamesMentalHealthArticleFind out more about the work I do on my 501c3 non-profit foundationwebsite www.yourgiftoflife.org Order your copy of James Donaldson's latest book,#CelebratingYourGiftofLife: From The Verge of Suicide to a Life of Purpose and Joy

www.celebratingyourgiftoflife.com

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In 2005, I impulsively quit therapy and stopped all my medications. Suicide became imminent. A therapist I was connected to via a women’s group referred me to a psychiatrist for a one-time medication consultation. That consultation turned into ongoing therapy which lasted for 11 years. I met with a whip-smart psychiatrist, Dr. Lev, who specialized in a treatment for BPD known as or transference-focused psychotherapy. TFP is a psychodynamic treatment that is based on the relationship — or the transference — that develops between the therapist and the client. The patterns that become evident in the transference are also patterns that are problematic in other relationships in the client’s life.

We tore into my relationships with my parents. My mother passed away in 2002, but my father was still living, and we had a conflicted relationship. He was an alcoholic during my childhood and adolescence and when he sobered up, he curled up into an intractable depression and rarely emerged. He passed away in 2013. My feelings of rage and resentment, activated by his death and the realization that the opportunity was lost to hear him say "You are good enough,” led to my own depression and a fourth suicide attempt in 2014. This overdose was my most serious attempt yet and required a brief stay in a medical hospital to stabilize my vital signs.

The next two years in therapy centered around me learning to express my anger without feeling the need to self-destruct. I terminated TFP treatment with Dr. Lev at the end of 2016. She continues to manage my medications. I will be on antidepressants for the rest of my life. It’s too risky to go off them.

While embroiled in my illness, following each attempt I was indifferent or angry. Today, I’m grateful that I didn’t succeed. When I was mired in trying to kill myself, I didn’t comprehend how much pain I was causing my family. Their agony is what I regret the most.

I fight the stigma that exists around suicide because I don’t want any family to endure what my family did when they pictured the worst. I can’t imagine the suffering families go through when their loved one completes suicide. I fight the stigma by writing and blogging openly and honestly about my experience, an endeavor I hope contributes to decreasing the shame and judgment that surrounds suicide.

The way to reduce the stigma is to keep the conversation going. Let’s shed the stigma with the power of words.

If you or someone you love is contemplating suicide, seek help immediately. For help 24/7 dial 988 for the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline, or reach out to the Crisis Text Line by texting TALK to 741741. To find a therapist near you, visit the Psychology Today Therapy Directory. https://standingabovethecrowd.com/james-donaldson-on-mental-health-talking-openly-and-honestly-about-suicide/