Wednesday, November 6, 2024

James Donaldson on Mental Health - Student Wellness Tip: Reduce Suicide Risk Through Supporting Students’ Sense of Purpose

James Donaldson on Mental Health - Student Wellness Tip: Reduce Suicide Risk Through Supporting Students’ Sense of Purpose
Photo by Andy Kuzma on Pexels.com


James Donaldson on Mental Health - Student Wellness Tip: Reduce Suicide Risk Through Supporting Students’ Sense of Purpose


New research finds students who indicate they have meaning in their lives are less likely to express suicidal ideation. Colleges and universities can foster exploration and meaning making, in the classroom and beyond, to promote overall student thriving


  Ashley Mowreader


A young woman sits at her desk with her head in her hands facing a dark laptop screen

Researchers in China found college students were more likely to indicate they experienced suicidal ideation if they had many negative life events or if they reported not feeling their life had meaning.


Higher education is often seen as a launchpad for students to develop themselves and their skills to prepare for careers, but it can also be a place to foster identity and autonomy as well as find meaning in life.


A recent study from Ludong University in China finds, among 938 undergraduate students, students who experienced negative life events and had a fixed mindset (described by entity theory) were more likely to indicate suicidal ideation. However, students who reported having meaning in their lives were less likely to report suicidal ideation.


Colleges and universities, as well as individual practitioners, can play a role in guiding a student’s sense of purpose and mission, which can in turn support their mental health.


By the Numbers  

Around 13 percent of college students in the U.S. reported experiencing suicidal ideation in the past year, according to the most recent data from the Healthy Minds Study. Six percent of students had a suicide plan and 2 percent had a suicide attempt.


LGBTQ+ students are at a higher risk for suicidal ideation, with around one-third of LGBTQ+ young people in the U.S. expressing that they considered suicide in the past year, according to data from the Trevor Project.


The research: The study collected data from a group of students in an introductory psychology course who took an assessment that measured their mental health during orientation week. (Any student who experienced psychological distress after completing the questionnaire was supported by professional counselors or directed to a hot line to address concerns, as well.)


Researchers analyzed students’ responses to see the correlation between suicidal ideation and negative life events (including academic stress; being punished; loss of family, friends and property; health concerns; and other problems), a student’s view on implicit personality theory, and if the students attributed meaning to their lives.


Across respondents, suicidal ideation was positively correlated with negative life events and entity theory, and it was negatively correlated with meaning in life. Similarly, suicidal ideation and negative life events both had negative correlations with meaning in life, showing how students’ perception of their life purpose can demonstrate a growth mindset and more resilient perspectives.


In their discussion, researchers proposed that negative events in a student’s life could lead to the development of their fixed perspective, which could also increase their likelihood of expressing suicidal ideation.


“Negative life events could activate the individual’s negative cognition of the self and cause the individual to engage in negative coping behaviors. Long-term negative life events can severely impact one’s self-esteem and self-worth,” according to the paper.


Digging deeper: College students face many pressures and challenges in their daily lives, which can spur feelings of pain and helplessness, according to researchers. To improve student mental health, the study points to the value of exploring one’s positive attributes and fostering personal change.


#James Donaldson notes:
Welcome to the “next chapter” of my life… being a voice and an advocate for #mentalhealthawarenessandsuicideprevention, especially pertaining to our younger generation of students and student-athletes.
Getting men to speak up and reach out for help and assistance is one of my passions. Us men need to not suffer in silence or drown our sorrows in alcohol, hang out at bars and strip joints, or get involved with drug use.
Having gone through a recent bout of #depression and #suicidalthoughts myself, I realize now, that I can make a huge difference in the lives of so many by sharing my story, and by sharing various resources I come across as I work in this space.
  #http://bit.ly/JamesMentalHealthArticle
Find out more about the work I do on my 501c3 non-profit foundation
website www.yourgiftoflife.org Order your copy of James Donaldson's latest book,
#CelebratingYourGiftofLife: From The Verge of Suicide to a Life of Purpose and Joy



www.celebratingyourgiftoflife.com


Link for 40 Habits Signup
bit.ly/40HabitsofMentalHealth


If you'd like to follow and receive my daily blog in to your inbox, just click on it with Follow It. Here's the link https://follow.it/james-donaldson-s-standing-above-the-crowd-s-blog-a-view-from-above-on-things-that-make-the-world-go-round?action=followPub


Self-growth education courses can be one way universities can help students develop a clearer sense of self and establish their own values, ideals and goals.


“This approach can effectively improve their sense of mission and significance, which in turn will improve their sense of well-being,” researchers wrote.


In recent years, colleges and universities have increased offerings of credit-bearing courses that promote happiness, reflection and gratitude in students’ lives. This spring, the University of Miami launched a course, the Art and Science of Flourishing, which focuses on well-being and helping students search for their purpose and engaging in conversations about what gives life meaning.


Cultivating meaningful experiences for young people can also include advising them on goals and ambitions, helping them build gratifying relationships, and pushing them to find meaning outside of achievements in academics, according to research from Harvard’s Graduate School of Education.


Photo by Andy Kuzma on Pexels.com https://standingabovethecrowd.com/james-donaldson-on-mental-health-student-wellness-tip-reduce-suicide-risk-through-supporting-students-sense-of-purpose/

James Donaldson on Mental Health - Student Wellness Tip: Reduce Suicide Risk Through Supporting Students’ Sense of Purpose

James Donaldson on Mental Health - Student Wellness Tip: Reduce Suicide Risk Through Supporting Students’ Sense of Purpose
Photo by Andy Kuzma on Pexels.com


James Donaldson on Mental Health - Student Wellness Tip: Reduce Suicide Risk Through Supporting Students’ Sense of Purpose


New research finds students who indicate they have meaning in their lives are less likely to express suicidal ideation. Colleges and universities can foster exploration and meaning making, in the classroom and beyond, to promote overall student thriving


  Ashley Mowreader


A young woman sits at her desk with her head in her hands facing a dark laptop screen

Researchers in China found college students were more likely to indicate they experienced suicidal ideation if they had many negative life events or if they reported not feeling their life had meaning.


Higher education is often seen as a launchpad for students to develop themselves and their skills to prepare for careers, but it can also be a place to foster identity and autonomy as well as find meaning in life.


A recent study from Ludong University in China finds, among 938 undergraduate students, students who experienced negative life events and had a fixed mindset (described by entity theory) were more likely to indicate suicidal ideation. However, students who reported having meaning in their lives were less likely to report suicidal ideation.


Colleges and universities, as well as individual practitioners, can play a role in guiding a student’s sense of purpose and mission, which can in turn support their mental health.


By the Numbers  

Around 13 percent of college students in the U.S. reported experiencing suicidal ideation in the past year, according to the most recent data from the Healthy Minds Study. Six percent of students had a suicide plan and 2 percent had a suicide attempt.


LGBTQ+ students are at a higher risk for suicidal ideation, with around one-third of LGBTQ+ young people in the U.S. expressing that they considered suicide in the past year, according to data from the Trevor Project.


The research: The study collected data from a group of students in an introductory psychology course who took an assessment that measured their mental health during orientation week. (Any student who experienced psychological distress after completing the questionnaire was supported by professional counselors or directed to a hot line to address concerns, as well.)


Researchers analyzed students’ responses to see the correlation between suicidal ideation and negative life events (including academic stress; being punished; loss of family, friends and property; health concerns; and other problems), a student’s view on implicit personality theory, and if the students attributed meaning to their lives.


Across respondents, suicidal ideation was positively correlated with negative life events and entity theory, and it was negatively correlated with meaning in life. Similarly, suicidal ideation and negative life events both had negative correlations with meaning in life, showing how students’ perception of their life purpose can demonstrate a growth mindset and more resilient perspectives.


In their discussion, researchers proposed that negative events in a student’s life could lead to the development of their fixed perspective, which could also increase their likelihood of expressing suicidal ideation.


“Negative life events could activate the individual’s negative cognition of the self and cause the individual to engage in negative coping behaviors. Long-term negative life events can severely impact one’s self-esteem and self-worth,” according to the paper.


Digging deeper: College students face many pressures and challenges in their daily lives, which can spur feelings of pain and helplessness, according to researchers. To improve student mental health, the study points to the value of exploring one’s positive attributes and fostering personal change.


#James Donaldson notes:
Welcome to the “next chapter” of my life… being a voice and an advocate for #mentalhealthawarenessandsuicideprevention, especially pertaining to our younger generation of students and student-athletes.
Getting men to speak up and reach out for help and assistance is one of my passions. Us men need to not suffer in silence or drown our sorrows in alcohol, hang out at bars and strip joints, or get involved with drug use.
Having gone through a recent bout of #depression and #suicidalthoughts myself, I realize now, that I can make a huge difference in the lives of so many by sharing my story, and by sharing various resources I come across as I work in this space.
  #http://bit.ly/JamesMentalHealthArticle
Find out more about the work I do on my 501c3 non-profit foundation
website www.yourgiftoflife.org Order your copy of James Donaldson's latest book,
#CelebratingYourGiftofLife: From The Verge of Suicide to a Life of Purpose and Joy



www.celebratingyourgiftoflife.com


Link for 40 Habits Signup
bit.ly/40HabitsofMentalHealth


If you'd like to follow and receive my daily blog in to your inbox, just click on it with Follow It. Here's the link https://follow.it/james-donaldson-s-standing-above-the-crowd-s-blog-a-view-from-above-on-things-that-make-the-world-go-round?action=followPub


Self-growth education courses can be one way universities can help students develop a clearer sense of self and establish their own values, ideals and goals.


“This approach can effectively improve their sense of mission and significance, which in turn will improve their sense of well-being,” researchers wrote.


In recent years, colleges and universities have increased offerings of credit-bearing courses that promote happiness, reflection and gratitude in students’ lives. This spring, the University of Miami launched a course, the Art and Science of Flourishing, which focuses on well-being and helping students search for their purpose and engaging in conversations about what gives life meaning.


Cultivating meaningful experiences for young people can also include advising them on goals and ambitions, helping them build gratifying relationships, and pushing them to find meaning outside of achievements in academics, according to research from Harvard’s Graduate School of Education.


Photo by Andy Kuzma on Pexels.com https://standingabovethecrowd.com/james-donaldson-on-mental-health-student-wellness-tip-reduce-suicide-risk-through-supporting-students-sense-of-purpose/


James Donaldson on Mental Health - My Child Is Bullying Others: What Should I Do?
Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

James Donaldson on Mental Health - My Child Is Bullying Others: What Should I Do?

How to find out what's behind the bullying behavior, and foster healthy friendship skills

Writer: Brigit Katz

Clinical Experts: Jamie Howard, PhD , Kristin Carothers, PhD , Karol Espejo, LCSW

What You'll Learn

- Why do some children bully other kids?

- What should I do if my child is being a bully?

- Quick Read

- Full Article

- Why do kids bully?

- Communicate

- Cope ahead

- Look inward

- Provide meaningful consequences

- Make it right

- Monitor the situation

- Seek help

- Stay connected

We sometimes assume that children who bully are “bad kids.” But many otherwise well-behaved children get involved in bullying. Sometimes they want to fit in with a group of kids who are bullying. Children who want attention or are naturally assertive may also become bullies. They may not understand how their actions or words impact other children. Kids who are bullied themselves, whether at home or at school, often become bullies too. 

If you hear that your child is being a bully, start by talking to your child. Be open and direct: “Your teacher told me you were involved in some bullying at school. Can you tell me what happened?” Give your child space to explain what’s going on and how they feel about it. If it’s still not clear where the behavior is coming from, a mental health professional can help you figure it out. Kids who bully may have underlying emotional challenges. 

Next, get specific about what you want to see instead. For example, if your child excludes other kids, let them know that you expect them to say yes when others ask to play with them. It also helps to look at what’s going on at home. Treating each other with respect and kindness sets a good example for kids.  

Another option is setting clear consequences for your child’s behavior. For example, you might take away your child’s phone for a few days if their teacher reports bullying. Making amends with other kids can also be a helpful consequence, like a written apology or doing something nice for the person they hurt. 

Finally, be sure to keep an open, loving line of communication with your child. Ask open-ended questions about their life and take time to listen. Knowing that you care about what’s going on with them makes them more likely to build positive relationships with others. 

Gina, the mother of a 12-year-old boy, got a disconcerting phone call from his school. A student had complained that her son was bullying him. After looking into the matter, the school staff concluded that her child had been tormenting a number of his classmates with name-calling, physical violence, and even sexual harassment. “Needless to say, we were mortified and ashamed,” Gina remembers. “But not only that, we were heartbroken.”

No parent wants to hear that her child is bullying other kids. It’s painful to think of your child inflicting harm. But bullying is also a serious issue for the aggressor. Kids’ friendship skills are an important indicator of their overall mental health. If your child is said to be engaging in bullying behaviors — whether physical or verbal — it might be a sign of serious distress. They might be experiencing anxiety or depression, and have difficulty regulating their emotions and behavior.

#James Donaldson notes:Welcome to the “next chapter” of my life… being a voice and an advocate for #mentalhealthawarenessandsuicideprevention, especially pertaining to our younger generation of students and student-athletes.Getting men to speak up and reach out for help and assistance is one of my passions. Us men need to not suffer in silence or drown our sorrows in alcohol, hang out at bars and strip joints, or get involved with drug use.Having gone through a recent bout of #depression and #suicidalthoughts myself, I realize now, that I can make a huge difference in the lives of so many by sharing my story, and by sharing various resources I come across as I work in this space.  #http://bit.ly/JamesMentalHealthArticleFind out more about the work I do on my 501c3 non-profit foundationwebsite www.yourgiftoflife.org Order your copy of James Donaldson's latest book,#CelebratingYourGiftofLife: From The Verge of Suicide to a Life of Purpose and Joy

www.celebratingyourgiftoflife.com

Link for 40 Habits Signupbit.ly/40HabitsofMentalHealth

If you'd like to follow and receive my daily blog in to your inbox, just click on it with Follow It. Here's the link https://follow.it/james-donaldson-s-standing-above-the-crowd-s-blog-a-view-from-above-on-things-that-make-the-world-go-round?action=followPub

Why do kids bully?

It’s important to keep in mind that kids don’t bully because they are “bad kids.” “Kids engage in all kinds of behavior that isn’t a reflection of who they are as a person,” says Jamie Howard, PhD, a clinical psychologist. “They’re still figuring things out. They can be nice kids who have made some mistakes.”  There are many reasons why an otherwise well-behaved child might be unkind to other kids. Here are a few:

- The child wants to fit in with a group of friends who are picking on one classmate.

- They are getting bullied at home or at school, and are trying to regain a sense of power by acting aggressively toward others.

- They are looking for attention from teachers, parents, or classmates, and haven’t been successful getting it other ways.

- They are by nature more assertive and impulsive than their peers.

- They have a tendency to perceive the behavior of other kids as hostile, even when it is not.

- They do not fully grasp how their behavior is making the victim feel. This is particularly true of younger kids.

By talking with your child about it, understanding from their point of view what’s going on, and guiding them through appropriate friendship behaviors, you can curb bullying and address the issues that might have caused it to happen in the first place. Here are some tips for ensuring that your child fosters respectful relationships with peers.

Communicate

If you hear from a teacher or another parent that your child is being a bully, the first thing you should do is talk to your child about the situation. Be direct about the issue, but make it clear that you are open to hearing your child’s side of the story. Say something along the lines of: “I got a call from the school today, and the teacher indicated that you were involved in some bullying. I’m really concerned about this, and we need to talk about it. Please tell me what happened.”

Talking through the situation with your child can help you understand why the social aggression is happening, and what steps need to be taken in order to stop it. After Gina was told that her son was harassing other children, she and her husband had many long talks with him about why he was acting out in that way.

“We asked him lots of questions about why he did those things,” Gina explains. “Our child had incredibly low self-esteem. Bullying gave him power and control over something. He told us that it was nice being known as ‘the worst kid in school,’ rather than not being noticed at all.”

Other kids might not be able to articulate why they are acting out. This is especially true of younger children and kids who are struggling with anxiety, trauma, or another mental health issue. If you are having trouble getting to the bottom of why your child is acting out, consider consulting a child psychologist or psychiatrist who has a lot of experience evaluating kids’ behaviors.

Cope ahead

Once you have investigated the roots of the problem, you can tailor your response to the specific challenges that your child faces in social interactions. Discuss scenarios that might prove difficult for them to handle, and guide them through appropriate responses. If, for example, your child has been deliberately excluding one of their classmates from social activities, tell them: “When someone asks to play with you, you should say yes. I want to see you including kids, and I want to see you using only respectful language.”

“Have lots of different solutions to various issues that are likely to come up, and give clear examples about how you expect your child to respond,” says Dr. Howard. “I would try to frame it as friendship behavior, rather than, ‘Don’t be a bully.’ Kids respond better to being told what to do than what not to do.”

Encouraging your child to take the perspective of the person who is being bullied can be another helpful way to cope ahead. Ask your child: “Can you think of a time when you felt left out or sad because somebody wasn’t being nice to you? That feeling you had is the same feeling your classmate is having because you aren’t being nice to her.”

Look inward

Children who are exposed to aggressive or unkind interactions at home are likely to repeat those behaviors at school. “It’s important for parents to think about how their behaviors might influence their kids — the way they speak to their children, the way they speak to their spouses, the way they handle anger — and to be realistic about whether or not this might be something that’s been modeled for the child,” says Kristin Carothers, PhD, a clinical psychologist.

It is possible that bullying takes place in your home, and that you are not even aware of it. Do members of your family engage in yelling, name-calling, or putdowns? Do your children pick on one another, or hit each other? If so, it is important to start fostering a positive home environment, where members of the family treat one another with kindness and respect.

After Gina learned about her son’s bullying, she took great pains to ensure that her home life reflected the sort of behavior that she wanted her son to practice at school. “We didn’t allow any ‘bully type’ talk or jokes, we practiced manners, and we encouraged helping and lifting each other up,” she says. “Things weren’t always perfect at home, but if we or the other kids didn’t behave appropriately, we talked about it as a family.”

Provide meaningful consequences

Punishments for bullying behavior can be effective, but they should be meaningful and limited in scope. If, for example, you find out that your teenager is engaging in cyber bullying, their actions should be met with an immediate loss of Internet or phone privileges. In the case of particularly severe offenses, revoke the privileges for the foreseeable future, and seek the help of a therapist. But for less acute forms of bullying, the child should be able to earn privileges back over the course of a few days.

“If you remove a privilege for too long, it may actually lose validity,” says Dr. Carothers. “The kid’s like, ‘OK, well, I can never get it back, so I’m just not going to try.’ You want to make it so that the time within which punishment happens and the amount of time for which it happens are really balanced to have the biggest effect.”

Make it right

Once your child has regained their privileges and is calm, explain that they made a mistake that needs to be fixed. Your child might choose to apologize — in person, in a letter, via text message, and so on — but repairs can take many different forms. You can encourage your child to bake cookies for the whole class, for example, or to play a game with a peer whom they had previously been excluding.

Dr. Howard recalls a former patient who had been name-calling and very patently excluding other children from her social group. As a means of repair, the girl’s mother had her daughter invite all the children whom she had bullied to a social event. “It was a correction,” Dr. Howard explains. “And it was sort of Mom’s way of reestablishing control.

Monitor the situation

If another parent approaches you about your child’s bullying, notify teachers right away so they can be on the lookout for problematic behavior. Follow up with teachers on a regular basis and give plenty of labelled praise when your child is being a good friend.

Cyberbullying can be particularly difficult to monitor because it doesn’t take place in plain sight. If your child has bullied other kids over the Internet, obtain passwords to their Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter accounts, and check them regularly to make sure that they are using social media in a kind manner. Be up front about this: let your child know that you will be monitoring their social media activity until they prove that they can handle it responsibly. “If you’re paying the phone bill, and you’re paying for the Internet, you should be aware of what’s going on with your child,” Dr. Carothers says.

Seek help

If you are continually working on building friendship skills with your child and the bullying does not stop, seek a mental health evaluation. Your child might need a therapist’s help to work through underlying issues.

Stay connected

In some ways the most important action you can take is to build an open channel of communication with your child about their day-to-day life that will put you in a better position to recognize signs of bullying and trouble. Dr. Carothers recommends asking your child a few open-ended questions on a daily basis. “I believe in general check-ins with kids,” she explains. “If you want your kid to talk to you, you have to go and talk to your kid.”

In the morning, ask your child what they have planned for the day; after school, ask your child to tell you about one really great thing that happened that day, and one not-so-great thing. It can be tough to get started, but kids who are regularly expected to share details of their lives with parents are more comfortable continuing into adolescence to clue their parents in to what they are doing.

Gina found that staying connected to her son in a supportive, non-judgmental way was key to minimizing his aggressive behavior. “Talk to your kids and be very present in their lives,” she suggests. “They need to feel like you care and that you hear what’s going on with them. Fill their heads and hearts with love.”

Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com https://standingabovethecrowd.com/james-donaldson-on-mental-health-my-child-is-bullying-others-what-should-i-do/

Tuesday, November 5, 2024

James Donaldson on Mental Health - My Child Is Bullying Others: What Should I Do?

James Donaldson on Mental Health - My Child Is Bullying Others: What Should I Do?
Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

James Donaldson on Mental Health - My Child Is Bullying Others: What Should I Do?


How to find out what's behind the bullying behavior, and foster healthy friendship skills


Writer: Brigit Katz


Clinical Experts: Jamie Howard, PhD , Kristin Carothers, PhD , Karol Espejo, LCSW


What You'll Learn


- Why do some children bully other kids?
- What should I do if my child is being a bully?
- Quick Read
- Full Article
- Why do kids bully?
- Communicate
- Cope ahead
- Look inward
- Provide meaningful consequences
- Make it right
- Monitor the situation
- Seek help
- Stay connected

We sometimes assume that children who bully are “bad kids.” But many otherwise well-behaved children get involved in bullying. Sometimes they want to fit in with a group of kids who are bullying. Children who want attention or are naturally assertive may also become bullies. They may not understand how their actions or words impact other children. Kids who are bullied themselves, whether at home or at school, often become bullies too. 


If you hear that your child is being a bully, start by talking to your child. Be open and direct: “Your teacher told me you were involved in some bullying at school. Can you tell me what happened?” Give your child space to explain what’s going on and how they feel about it. If it’s still not clear where the behavior is coming from, a mental health professional can help you figure it out. Kids who bully may have underlying emotional challenges. 


Next, get specific about what you want to see instead. For example, if your child excludes other kids, let them know that you expect them to say yes when others ask to play with them. It also helps to look at what’s going on at home. Treating each other with respect and kindness sets a good example for kids.  


Another option is setting clear consequences for your child’s behavior. For example, you might take away your child’s phone for a few days if their teacher reports bullying. Making amends with other kids can also be a helpful consequence, like a written apology or doing something nice for the person they hurt. 


Finally, be sure to keep an open, loving line of communication with your child. Ask open-ended questions about their life and take time to listen. Knowing that you care about what’s going on with them makes them more likely to build positive relationships with others. 


Gina, the mother of a 12-year-old boy, got a disconcerting phone call from his school. A student had complained that her son was bullying him. After looking into the matter, the school staff concluded that her child had been tormenting a number of his classmates with name-calling, physical violence, and even sexual harassment. “Needless to say, we were mortified and ashamed,” Gina remembers. “But not only that, we were heartbroken.”


No parent wants to hear that her child is bullying other kids. It’s painful to think of your child inflicting harm. But bullying is also a serious issue for the aggressor. Kids’ friendship skills are an important indicator of their overall mental health. If your child is said to be engaging in bullying behaviors — whether physical or verbal — it might be a sign of serious distress. They might be experiencing anxiety or depression, and have difficulty regulating their emotions and behavior.


#James Donaldson notes:
Welcome to the “next chapter” of my life… being a voice and an advocate for #mentalhealthawarenessandsuicideprevention, especially pertaining to our younger generation of students and student-athletes.
Getting men to speak up and reach out for help and assistance is one of my passions. Us men need to not suffer in silence or drown our sorrows in alcohol, hang out at bars and strip joints, or get involved with drug use.
Having gone through a recent bout of #depression and #suicidalthoughts myself, I realize now, that I can make a huge difference in the lives of so many by sharing my story, and by sharing various resources I come across as I work in this space.
  #http://bit.ly/JamesMentalHealthArticle
Find out more about the work I do on my 501c3 non-profit foundation
website www.yourgiftoflife.org Order your copy of James Donaldson's latest book,
#CelebratingYourGiftofLife: From The Verge of Suicide to a Life of Purpose and Joy



www.celebratingyourgiftoflife.com


Link for 40 Habits Signup
bit.ly/40HabitsofMentalHealth


If you'd like to follow and receive my daily blog in to your inbox, just click on it with Follow It. Here's the link https://follow.it/james-donaldson-s-standing-above-the-crowd-s-blog-a-view-from-above-on-things-that-make-the-world-go-round?action=followPub


Why do kids bully?


It’s important to keep in mind that kids don’t bully because they are “bad kids.” “Kids engage in all kinds of behavior that isn’t a reflection of who they are as a person,” says Jamie Howard, PhD, a clinical psychologist. “They’re still figuring things out. They can be nice kids who have made some mistakes.”  There are many reasons why an otherwise well-behaved child might be unkind to other kids. Here are a few:


- The child wants to fit in with a group of friends who are picking on one classmate.
- They are getting bullied at home or at school, and are trying to regain a sense of power by acting aggressively toward others.
- They are looking for attention from teachers, parents, or classmates, and haven’t been successful getting it other ways.
- They are by nature more assertive and impulsive than their peers.
- They have a tendency to perceive the behavior of other kids as hostile, even when it is not.
- They do not fully grasp how their behavior is making the victim feel. This is particularly true of younger kids.

By talking with your child about it, understanding from their point of view what’s going on, and guiding them through appropriate friendship behaviors, you can curb bullying and address the issues that might have caused it to happen in the first place. Here are some tips for ensuring that your child fosters respectful relationships with peers.


Communicate


If you hear from a teacher or another parent that your child is being a bully, the first thing you should do is talk to your child about the situation. Be direct about the issue, but make it clear that you are open to hearing your child’s side of the story. Say something along the lines of: “I got a call from the school today, and the teacher indicated that you were involved in some bullying. I’m really concerned about this, and we need to talk about it. Please tell me what happened.”


Talking through the situation with your child can help you understand why the social aggression is happening, and what steps need to be taken in order to stop it. After Gina was told that her son was harassing other children, she and her husband had many long talks with him about why he was acting out in that way.


“We asked him lots of questions about why he did those things,” Gina explains. “Our child had incredibly low self-esteem. Bullying gave him power and control over something. He told us that it was nice being known as ‘the worst kid in school,’ rather than not being noticed at all.”


Other kids might not be able to articulate why they are acting out. This is especially true of younger children and kids who are struggling with anxietytrauma, or another mental health issue. If you are having trouble getting to the bottom of why your child is acting out, consider consulting a child psychologist or psychiatrist who has a lot of experience evaluating kids’ behaviors.


Cope ahead


Once you have investigated the roots of the problem, you can tailor your response to the specific challenges that your child faces in social interactions. Discuss scenarios that might prove difficult for them to handle, and guide them through appropriate responses. If, for example, your child has been deliberately excluding one of their classmates from social activities, tell them: “When someone asks to play with you, you should say yes. I want to see you including kids, and I want to see you using only respectful language.”


“Have lots of different solutions to various issues that are likely to come up, and give clear examples about how you expect your child to respond,” says Dr. Howard. “I would try to frame it as friendship behavior, rather than, ‘Don’t be a bully.’ Kids respond better to being told what to do than what not to do.”


Encouraging your child to take the perspective of the person who is being bullied can be another helpful way to cope ahead. Ask your child: “Can you think of a time when you felt left out or sad because somebody wasn’t being nice to you? That feeling you had is the same feeling your classmate is having because you aren’t being nice to her.”


Look inward


Children who are exposed to aggressive or unkind interactions at home are likely to repeat those behaviors at school. “It’s important for parents to think about how their behaviors might influence their kids — the way they speak to their children, the way they speak to their spouses, the way they handle anger — and to be realistic about whether or not this might be something that’s been modeled for the child,” says Kristin Carothers, PhD, a clinical psychologist.


It is possible that bullying takes place in your home, and that you are not even aware of it. Do members of your family engage in yelling, name-calling, or putdowns? Do your children pick on one another, or hit each other? If so, it is important to start fostering a positive home environment, where members of the family treat one another with kindness and respect.


After Gina learned about her son’s bullying, she took great pains to ensure that her home life reflected the sort of behavior that she wanted her son to practice at school. “We didn’t allow any ‘bully type’ talk or jokes, we practiced manners, and we encouraged helping and lifting each other up,” she says. “Things weren’t always perfect at home, but if we or the other kids didn’t behave appropriately, we talked about it as a family.”


Provide meaningful consequences


Punishments for bullying behavior can be effective, but they should be meaningful and limited in scope. If, for example, you find out that your teenager is engaging in cyber bullying, their actions should be met with an immediate loss of Internet or phone privileges. In the case of particularly severe offenses, revoke the privileges for the foreseeable future, and seek the help of a therapist. But for less acute forms of bullying, the child should be able to earn privileges back over the course of a few days.


“If you remove a privilege for too long, it may actually lose validity,” says Dr. Carothers. “The kid’s like, ‘OK, well, I can never get it back, so I’m just not going to try.’ You want to make it so that the time within which punishment happens and the amount of time for which it happens are really balanced to have the biggest effect.”


Make it right


Once your child has regained their privileges and is calm, explain that they made a mistake that needs to be fixed. Your child might choose to apologize — in person, in a letter, via text message, and so on — but repairs can take many different forms. You can encourage your child to bake cookies for the whole class, for example, or to play a game with a peer whom they had previously been excluding.


Dr. Howard recalls a former patient who had been name-calling and very patently excluding other children from her social group. As a means of repair, the girl’s mother had her daughter invite all the children whom she had bullied to a social event. “It was a correction,” Dr. Howard explains. “And it was sort of Mom’s way of reestablishing control.


Monitor the situation


If another parent approaches you about your child’s bullying, notify teachers right away so they can be on the lookout for problematic behavior. Follow up with teachers on a regular basis and give plenty of labelled praise when your child is being a good friend.


Cyberbullying can be particularly difficult to monitor because it doesn’t take place in plain sight. If your child has bullied other kids over the Internet, obtain passwords to their Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter accounts, and check them regularly to make sure that they are using social media in a kind manner. Be up front about this: let your child know that you will be monitoring their social media activity until they prove that they can handle it responsibly. “If you’re paying the phone bill, and you’re paying for the Internet, you should be aware of what’s going on with your child,” Dr. Carothers says.


Seek help


If you are continually working on building friendship skills with your child and the bullying does not stop, seek a mental health evaluation. Your child might need a therapist’s help to work through underlying issues.


Stay connected


In some ways the most important action you can take is to build an open channel of communication with your child about their day-to-day life that will put you in a better position to recognize signs of bullying and trouble. Dr. Carothers recommends asking your child a few open-ended questions on a daily basis. “I believe in general check-ins with kids,” she explains. “If you want your kid to talk to you, you have to go and talk to your kid.”


In the morning, ask your child what they have planned for the day; after school, ask your child to tell you about one really great thing that happened that day, and one not-so-great thing.

https://standingabovethecrowd.com/james-donaldson-on-mental-health-my-child-is-bullying-others-what-should-i-do/

Monday, November 4, 2024



James Donaldson on Mental Health - You can help overcome stigma and prevent suicide deaths
James Donaldson on Mental Health - You can help overcome stigma and prevent suicide deaths

Elizabeth Allen

One person dies from suicide about every 11 minutes in the United States.

The numbers are striking, especially in teens and young adults.

Fifty percent of mental illnesses begin by age 14, and 75% starts by age 24. In Pierce County, the 2023 Healthy Youth Survey showed:

- 17% of 8th graders considered suicide in the past year.

- 18% of 12th graders had considered suicide in the past year.

- On average, youth feel sad and hopeless at a higher rate than the state average.

Suicide is difficult to talk about. But it’s an important subject. Talking about suicide—both with teens and adults—can help save lives.

Suicide is preventable. Mental health illness is treatable. It takes time and resources to understand the signs and symptoms. 

Who is at risk for suicide?

September is Suicide Awareness Month. Some risk factors for suicides include:

- A history of suicide attempts.

- Depression, other mental disorders, or substance use disorder.

- Chronic pain.

- Family history of a mental disorder or substance use.

- Family history of suicide.

- Exposure to family violence, including physical or sexual abuse.

- Having recently been released from prison or jail.

Suicide is preventable, and mental illness is treatable.

People of all genders, ages, and ethnicities can be at risk for suicide. You might want to seek help, or encourage others to seek help, when you notice:

- Changes in sleeping patterns.

- Constant worrying.

- Irrational fears.

- Negative thoughts.

- Inattention, hyperactivity, or impulsivity.

#James Donaldson notes:Welcome to the “next chapter” of my life… being a voice and an advocate for #mentalhealthawarenessandsuicideprevention, especially pertaining to our younger generation of students and student-athletes.Getting men to speak up and reach out for help and assistance is one of my passions. Us men need to not suffer in silence or drown our sorrows in alcohol, hang out at bars and strip joints, or get involved with drug use.Having gone through a recent bout of #depression and #suicidalthoughts myself, I realize now, that I can make a huge difference in the lives of so many by sharing my story, and by sharing various resources I come across as I work in this space.  #http://bit.ly/JamesMentalHealthArticleFind out more about the work I do on my 501c3 non-profit foundationwebsite www.yourgiftoflife.org Order your copy of James Donaldson's latest book,#CelebratingYourGiftofLife: From The Verge of Suicide to a Life of Purpose and Joy

www.celebratingyourgiftoflife.com

Link for 40 Habits Signupbit.ly/40HabitsofMentalHealth

If you'd like to follow and receive my daily blog in to your inbox, just click on it with Follow It. Here's the link https://follow.it/james-donaldson-s-standing-above-the-crowd-s-blog-a-view-from-above-on-things-that-make-the-world-go-round?action=followPub

What can you do?

Family and friends are often the first to recognize the warning signs of suicide, and they can take the first step toward helping a loved one find mental health treatment.

If you notice warning signs of suicide–especially a change in behavior or new, concerning behavior–get help as soon as possible. Stigma can often stop people from asking for services or support. You can encourage people to:

- Seek treatment if they need it.

- Connect with people.

- Join a support group.

- Seek mental health resources.

Other resources include:

- Say Suicide Now.

- National Alliance Mental Illness Pierce County.

- American Foundation of Suicide Prevention.

- 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline. https://standingabovethecrowd.com/james-donaldson-on-mental-health-you-can-help-overcome-stigma-and-prevent-suicide-deaths/


James Donaldson on Mental Health - The Importance of Men’s Mental Health
James Donaldson on Mental Health - The Importance of Men’s Mental Health

Why ‘man up’ isn’t the solution

Remember Robin Williams — the beloved actor cherished for iconic roles in films like “Mrs. Doubtfire.” Despite his immense success, he tragically took his own life on Aug. 11, 2014. 

His passing highlights the unseen mental health struggles men face. As Suicide Prevention Awareness Month ends, it’s a crucial time to address the often-overlooked topic of men’s mental health. It’s not only timely but vital, given the alarming statistics and the persistent stigma surrounding mental health issues among men. 

The Silent Crisis

Every day, many men grapple with outdated and prescriptive notions of masculinity, which contribute to their mental health challenges and make it difficult for them to acknowledge their need for help.

A 2022 review published in the American Journal of Public Health examined the societal stigma surrounding mental illness, revealing that men who internalize this stigma are less likely to seek assistance for their psychological issues, facing greater challenges and an increased risk of severe mental illness.

Mental health problems in men often go unnoticed due to societal expectations that encourage stoicism and discourage emotional expression. Consequently, men are less likely than women to receive formal mental health support, resulting in a silent crisis reflected in concerning statistics. According to the World Health Organization, men are nearly twice as likely to die by suicide compared to women, with suicide ranking as the seventh leading cause of death for men in the United States, where 78% of all suicides involve men.

Additionally, the National Institute of Mental Health reports that one in ten men experience anxiety or depression, yet less than half of these individuals seek treatment. Men are more prone to using illicit drugs and binge drinking as coping mechanisms for unaddressed mental health issues. The Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration found that men are 2.3 times more likely than women to die from drug overdoses, underscoring the urgent need for greater awareness and support for men’s mental health.

The Importance of Addressing Men’s Mental Health

Understanding and addressing men’s mental health goes beyond merely reducing alarming statistics; it is essential for enhancing overall well-being, relationships, and productivity. Mental health influences every facet of life, from physical health to job performance and personal relationships.

One indicator of poor mental health is a man’s physical condition. Men suffering from depression and anxiety are at a higher risk of developing chronic health issues, such as heart disease and high blood pressure. The mind-body connection is profound, and inadequate mental health can have a significant adverse effect on physical well-being. Regular exercise can combat this, positively impacting mental health.

Another sign of deteriorating mental health is a decline in work and academic productivity. Mental health challenges can lead to decreased efficiency, increased absenteeism and even job loss. According to the American Psychological Association, untreated mental illness costs the U.S. economy approximately $200 billion annually in lost earnings.

These struggles can strain relationships with family and friends. Men who do not seek help may struggle to communicate effectively, resulting in feelings of isolation and further deterioration of their mental health. Addressing these issues is crucial for fostering healthier lives and stronger connections.

Breaking the Stigma

One of the biggest barriers to improving men’s mental health is the stigma surrounding it. Men are often expected to “man up” and may view seeking help as a sign of weakness. However, this mindset is slowly changing as more men, including public figures, openly discuss their mental health struggles.

Encouraging open conversations about mental health, promoting mental health services and normalizing the act of seeking help are crucial steps in breaking down this stigma. Employers, communities and families play vital roles in supporting men’s mental health.

#James Donaldson notes:Welcome to the “next chapter” of my life… being a voice and an advocate for #mentalhealthawarenessandsuicideprevention, especially pertaining to our younger generation of students and student-athletes.Getting men to speak up and reach out for help and assistance is one of my passions. Us men need to not suffer in silence or drown our sorrows in alcohol, hang out at bars and strip joints, or get involved with drug use.Having gone through a recent bout of #depression and #suicidalthoughts myself, I realize now, that I can make a huge difference in the lives of so many by sharing my story, and by sharing various resources I come across as I work in this space.  #http://bit.ly/JamesMentalHealthArticleFind out more about the work I do on my 501c3 non-profit foundationwebsite www.yourgiftoflife.org Order your copy of James Donaldson's latest book,#CelebratingYourGiftofLife: From The Verge of Suicide to a Life of Purpose and Joy

www.celebratingyourgiftoflife.com

Link for 40 Habits Signupbit.ly/40HabitsofMentalHealth

If you'd like to follow and receive my daily blog in to your inbox, just click on it with Follow It. Here's the link https://follow.it/james-donaldson-s-standing-above-the-crowd-s-blog-a-view-from-above-on-things-that-make-the-world-go-round?action=followPub

What Can Be Done?

Increasing awareness about mental health and its impact can help men recognize the signs and symptoms early through promoting Mental Health Education.  

Educational campaigns can challenge stereotypes and encourage men to seek help. Ensuring that mental health services are accessible, affordable and tailored to men’s specific needs can increase the likelihood of men seeking help. 

Building strong support networks — whether through family, friends or community groups — can provide men with the emotional support they need. 

Addressing stigmas, promoting mental health education and ensuring accessible services, can help men lead healthier, more fulfilling lives. Mental health is not a sign of weakness — it’s a vital component of overall well-being, and it’s time we treat it as such.  https://standingabovethecrowd.com/?p=13194

Sunday, November 3, 2024

James Donaldson on Mental Health - You can help overcome stigma and prevent suicide deaths

James Donaldson on Mental Health - You can help overcome stigma and prevent suicide deaths

James Donaldson on Mental Health - You can help overcome stigma and prevent suicide deaths


Elizabeth Allen


One person dies from suicide about every 11 minutes in the United States.


The numbers are striking, especially in teens and young adults.


Fifty percent of mental illnesses begin by age 14, and 75% starts by age 24. In Pierce County, the 2023 Healthy Youth Survey showed:


- 17% of 8th graders considered suicide in the past year.
- 18% of 12th graders had considered suicide in the past year.
- On average, youth feel sad and hopeless at a higher rate than the state average.

Suicide is difficult to talk about. But it’s an important subject. Talking about suicide—both with teens and adults—can help save lives.


Suicide is preventable. Mental health illness is treatable. It takes time and resources to understand the signs and symptoms. 


Who is at risk for suicide?


September is Suicide Awareness Month. Some risk factors for suicides include:


- A history of suicide attempts.
- Depression, other mental disorders, or substance use disorder.
- Chronic pain.
- Family history of a mental disorder or substance use.
- Family history of suicide.
- Exposure to family violence, including physical or sexual abuse.
- Having recently been released from prison or jail.

Suicide is preventable, and mental illness is treatable.


People of all genders, ages, and ethnicities can be at risk for suicide. You might want to seek help, or encourage others to seek help, when you notice:


- Changes in sleeping patterns.
- Constant worrying.
- Irrational fears.
- Negative thoughts.
- Inattention, hyperactivity, or impulsivity.

#James Donaldson notes:
Welcome to the “next chapter” of my life… being a voice and an advocate for #mentalhealthawarenessandsuicideprevention, especially pertaining to our younger generation of students and student-athletes.
Getting men to speak up and reach out for help and assistance is one of my passions. Us men need to not suffer in silence or drown our sorrows in alcohol, hang out at bars and strip joints, or get involved with drug use.
Having gone through a recent bout of #depression and #suicidalthoughts myself, I realize now, that I can make a huge difference in the lives of so many by sharing my story, and by sharing various resources I come across as I work in this space.
  #http://bit.ly/JamesMentalHealthArticle
Find out more about the work I do on my 501c3 non-profit foundation
website www.yourgiftoflife.org Order your copy of James Donaldson's latest book,
#CelebratingYourGiftofLife: From The Verge of Suicide to a Life of Purpose and Joy



www.celebratingyourgiftoflife.com


Link for 40 Habits Signup
bit.ly/40HabitsofMentalHealth


If you'd like to follow and receive my daily blog in to your inbox, just click on it with Follow It. Here's the link https://follow.it/james-donaldson-s-standing-above-the-crowd-s-blog-a-view-from-above-on-things-that-make-the-world-go-round?action=followPub


What can you do?


Family and friends are often the first to recognize the warning signs of suicide, and they can take the first step toward helping a loved one find mental health treatment.


If you notice warning signs of suicide–especially a change in behavior or new, concerning behavior–get help as soon as possible. Stigma can often stop people from asking for services or support. You can encourage people to:


- Seek treatment if they need it.
- Connect with people.
- Join a support group.
- Seek mental health resources.

Other resources include:


- Say Suicide Now.
- National Alliance Mental Illness Pierce County.
- American Foundation of Suicide Prevention.
- 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline.
https://standingabovethecrowd.com/james-donaldson-on-mental-health-you-can-help-overcome-stigma-and-prevent-suicide-deaths/