What to know and how to talk to kids about the risks
Writer: Sam Brodsky
Clinical Experts: Megan Ice, PhD , Matt Missar, LCSW
Key Takeaways
- Despite age limits, many teens are gambling online. And because their brains are still developing, they run a higher risk of developing a problem.
- Teens may be “primed” through things like loot boxes in video games, social casino apps, fantasy sports, or watching streamers gamble.
- Talking openly to kids about gambling doesn’t encourage them to do it — it helps protect them.
- How are kids gambling online?
- Why are kids gambling online?
- What is gambling disorder?
- Signs a teen might be struggling with gambling
- How to talk to kids about online gambling
- If you think your teen might have a gambling problem
- How gambling disorder is treated?
When adults worry about what keeps kids entertained in this digital age, they might not picture gambling. Despite legally binding age restrictions — in states where online betting is legal, players must be at least 18 or 21 years old — it is becoming increasingly common among teens, particularly teenage boys.
Matt Missar, LCSW, a therapist and certified gambling counselor, says the number of young people he treats for gambling issues is steadily growing. And even as he treats teens for other mental health concerns, he’ll later learn that they’ve placed bets.
While the majority of people who gamble don’t develop an addiction, participating in online gambling has been associated with an increased risk of gambling issues, especially in boys and men, according to a systematic review of research involving young people between ages 10 and 25. And studies suggest the earlier kids get exposed, the higher the chance of these behaviors yielding a problem.
Young people are specifically at risk for gambling addiction because their brains are still developing. Teens are often impulsive and think they have more control over outcomes (in this case, betting outcomes) than they really do, says Megan Ice, PhD, a psychologist at the Child Mind Institute. And their sensation-seeking and risk-taking tendencies can set them up for excessive online gambling, adds Suzanne Allen, PsyD, a psychologist who primarily works with children, adolescents, and their families.
How are kids gambling online?
In some cases, parents allow access to their own accounts with or without realizing how frequently their kids use them, Missar says. But children and teens are also finding loopholes and dodging safeguards meant to keep them from gambling virtually.
Kids may use someone else’s ID (or fake IDs), VPNs, or older friends’ accounts to bypass age restrictions. And offshore crypto casinos or other gambling sites operating outside of the United States aren’t as stringent.
Underage people may have indirect access to online betting by watching streamers gamble or by placing bets with peers who have found a way in. High school students with access to accounts like FanDuel or offshore platforms will, essentially, act as bookies and take bets from other kids, Missar explains.
“Teenagers are already very resourceful in circumventing restrictions, and so they’re pretty easily available if a teenager is looking in the right place,” he notes.
Saul Malek, now a public speaker on gambling addiction, says he gambled virtually for the first time as a 19-year-old college sophomore. Bookies hooked him up with online sportsbooks (he imagines they were offshore accounts but can’t confirm), and he started down what he describes as a “rabbit hole” — losing money on one online sportsbook, blocking the bookie’s number once he owed them, and then finding another bookie to repeat the cycle.
It got to the point where he couldn’t sit through entire games anymore; he had to bet on individual rounds during a match, then move on. Over the span of two years, Malek amassed about $20,000 in debts. It’s been six years since his last bet, and the 28-year-old is still paying off what he owes.
Why are kids gambling online?
When you’re winning, gambling can be exciting, especially now that you can wager on anything, anytime — even the color of Gatorade poured on a coach or the length of the national anthem. Malek says part of the fun was “living in the daydream of the next big win.” Young people may also see online gambling as a way to relieve stress and cope with hard things, says Dr. Allen.
There’s a social component as well, offering teens a way to fit in and make new friends. “Anything that’s going to help you get accepted by your friends is going to be very, very reinforcing,” says Dr. Ice.
Kids may naturally transition into virtual gambling after participating in certain activities that “prime” them for it. For one, they can download apps that mimic casino-style gambling and sports betting with virtual currency — some of which are advertised as “social casinos” and “social sportsbooks” (think: Fliff).
Additionally, features in video games can mimic gambling. Kids, for instance, can pay for loot boxes that hold mystery prizes; it’s the luck of the draw in exchange for cash. “I’ve seen families be out tons of money on a video game based on their kids’ purchases. And that’s kids as young as 6 or 7,” Dr. Ice notes. (Some countries are regulating these types of boxes due to their resemblance to gambling.)
Similarly, young people place bets on outcomes of their own or others’ video games using “skins” — physical features that customize how an avatar/character looks — as currency. It’s not the exact same thing as betting money, but skins have real-world value, says Missar. (Skins gambling sites are also largely unregulated.)
Some argue that, just as social casinos and video game features may prime kids for online gambling, so can fantasy sports simply by exposing youth to sports betting content on those platforms. Missar notes that he thinks fantasy sports can be completely separate from online sports betting (and, legally, they are), but “there’s a potential gateway” for kids due to gambling ads.
What is gambling disorder?
Gambling in general can become addictive because of the “dopamine rush” of betting, says Missar. Eventually, you can develop a tolerance, where you need to bet more money and gamble more often to get the same effect. “Gambling is absolutely as addictive as substances,” Missar adds. Gambling disorder, when a persistent preoccupation with gambling majorly interferes with your day-to-day life, is included in the DSM-5 alongside substance use disorders.
Gambling — and the financial, academic, and social strain that may come with it — can also lead to stress, anxiety, depression, shame, low self-esteem, and even suicide, Missar notes. In fact, gambling disorder has the highest suicide risk of any other substance use or addictive disorder.
Signs a teen might be struggling with gambling
All this said, gambling doesn’t have to be a full-blown addiction to impact a teen’s mental health. “We see negative impacts on mood, damage to relationships, and financial consequences occur even when an individual doesn’t meet the criteria for a gambling disorder,” says Missar.
Red flags specific to kids include:
Preoccupation with a new sport
Kids might not openly talk about gambling, so one warning sign is that they’re frequently checking stats on sports they never used to care about, says Dr. Allen. If they’re overwhelmingly upset about a random volleyball match they usually wouldn’t be interested in, that might be an indication they had a stake in the results.
Strange money behavior
If large sums of money seem to be missing or showing up out of nowhere, it’s worth looking into, says Dr. Allen. And if your kid lies to conceal the extent of their gambling, it might be cause for concern, says Missar.
Failure to take care of themselves
Kids might be staying up gambling, skipping meals or showers, or not taking care of their bodies because they’re so preoccupied, says Dr. Ice.
Academic struggles
Grades can fluctuate for many reasons, but they can certainly tank due to gambling. “I’ve had clients skip school because they’re so depressed, so anxious, from losing however much money they had in their checking account,” says Missar.
Withdrawal from relationships and activities
When teens start to build an obsession with gambling, they can disengage from friends, hobbies, and extracurriculars, says Missar. This isolation can snowball into feelings of loneliness, he adds.
How to talk to kids about online gambling
Talking to kids about online gambling will not encourage them to do it or continue doing it, health educator and prevention specialist Brittany Sue Hines, MEd, said during a National Council on Problem Gambling webinar on youth gambling. “It just gives them the information that they need in order to make informed decisions.”
Here are some tips for getting started:
Bring it up at a relevant, appropriate time
An easy way to broach the topic is when you hear an ad for a gambling site or leading up to Sunday night football. You could ask them about loot boxes when they take a break from gaming. For older kids, you can flag gambling lawsuits in real time.
But if your kids have friends over during a game, it might not be a good time to dive in, says Missar. Hines even suggests bringing gambling up during other prevention talks about sex, drugs, and alcohol, because it’s just as important.
Lead with curiosity instead of judgment
You don’t want your kids to get defensive and tune you out, which might happen if you start rattling off all the risks of online gambling. Whether you know they’re gambling or not, ask questions. Missar suggests saying something like, “Man, I see these DraftKings commercials all the time. What do you and your friends know about it? Have you guys ever bet on sports online?” Then, if they’re upfront with you, you can ask what they or their buds get out of it. Your kid may say their friends gamble online to gauge how you’ll respond to their own betting habits. So be careful how you react if you’re looking for honesty, says Dr. Allen.
Level set on the realities of gambling
Kids might have a hard time getting perspective when they’re basking in the highs of winning. You can remind them that just because they know a lot about sports doesn’t mean they’ll find actual success as a sports bettor, notes Malek. You can also underscore that even if someone wins one day, the odds are still against them, and it’s not a sustainable way to make money, says Missar.
Plus, things are not what they seem. Even if it looks like popular streamers are winning a ton, they’re often playing with an online casino’s money. And, when you’re seeing influencers and celebrities promoting gambling, “you’re not seeing the person who has gambled away their paycheck and has to tell their parents that they stole their credit card,” says Dr. Allen. “That’s not a glamorous commercial.”
Name the risks
Highlighting the financial, social, and emotional toll gambling can take is fair game, as is talking about why gambling can be addictive, says Missar. When addressing his teen clients, Missar will reinforce the fact that their brains are still developing and are naturally wired to be highly impulsive — so gambling can seem more appealing even though it can have serious consequences. (He’ll show young clients this short animated video that depicts what addiction can look like.) Ultimately, “youth who understand that gambling has risks are less likely to develop a gambling problem,” says Hines.
Talk about your own experiences
If you gamble virtually or in person, be mindful of what you’re modeling, says Dr. Ice. Talk about financial responsibility, then bring up times where you may have lost more than you’d hoped. (Dr. Ice cautions against being too honest, but gauge what’s best for you and your kids.) Touching on your relationship with gambling can lower their guards.
If you think your teen might have a gambling problem
Consider the context
Underage gambling is illegal; there’s no denying that. But take a beat to assess, suggests Hines. If your kid is spending a small amount to join a fantasy league, that’s one thing. If they’re in major debt and can’t seem to stop betting despite the financial, social, and mental toll, that’s another.
Try not to shame them
If you lead with anger and frustration, they will shut you out, notes Hines. Shame is dangerous because it teaches kids that they, rather than just their actions, are bad, says David Tzall, PsyD, a psychologist who treats adolescents and adults struggling with addiction. It’s ideal to give off the vibe that your kids’ gambling issues are separate from their identities. That way, they’ll feel like they can get help and fix things.
Encourage professional support
Even if you’re on board with therapy, your kid may not be. Seeing a mental health professional can be scary, so you have to find the right selling point. Dr. Allen suggests being specific. Try, “‘You’re losing a lot of money,’ or, ‘I’ve noticed you’re not having as much fun watching games anymore,’ or, ‘You lost your friends’ money and now they’re all pissed at you,’” she says. It’s difficult for them to argue with the truth.
#James Donaldson notes:
Welcome to the “next chapter” of my life… being a voice and an advocate for #mentalhealthawarenessandsuicideprevention, especially pertaining to our younger generation of students and student-athletes.
Getting men to speak up and reach out for help and assistance is one of my passions.
