How irritability and anger can be signs of depression in children and teenagers

Writer: Caroline Miller

Clinical Expert: Lauren Allerhand, PsyD

What You'll Learn

- When are irritability and anger signs of depression in children and teenagers?

- How is this different from typical teenage irritability?

- What should you do if your child seems unusually irritable and angry?

- Quick Article

- Full Article

- What does irritability look like when it’s part of depression?

- What to do if you’re concerned

- Talk to a mental health professional 

We usually think of someone who’s depressed as being sad or “down” for a very long time. But children and teenagers who are depressed can also be irritable or angry a lot of the time. They may seem on edge. Some depressed kids are irritable instead of sad. Others are both: they alternate between sad and irritable.

Since teenagers are often irritable, how can you tell if your child’s irritability might be associated with depression? Normal irritability is intermittent, a reaction to something specific. In depression, it’s their mood most of the time. It’s also normal for kids to be cranky at home, but not at school or when they’re with friends. Or cranky in the morning, and then in a better mood later. But if they’re irritable all the time, and not just at home, but in all settings, it could be depression.

To be diagnosed with depression a child would need to meet other criteria for depression, too. Those include losing interest in things they used to enjoy, lacking energy, changes in eating and sleep habits, among other things. If they are irritable but high in energy, it’s more likely to be connected to anxiety.

If you’ve noticed that your child has been unusually irritable and angry, the first step is to talk to them. Ask them if there’s something bothering them. If they’re upset about something specific, listen to their concerns without being judgmental. If not, and it seems to be a generally irritable mood, it’s a good idea to get care from a mental health professional.

Especially when it’s caught early, depression is very treatable. Treatment for depression includes both medication and specialized forms of cognitive behavioral therapy that focus on helping kids learn to cope with difficult emotions.

We usually think of depression as a form of prolonged sadness, being “down” for a disturbingly long time. But depression can also take the form of irritability in children and teenagers. And irritability — a tendency to react angrily to slight annoyances or provocations — can result in everything from angry outbursts in younger children to cutting or snide remarks in teenagers.

“What we see with younger kids and teenagers is they’re always feeling annoyed or feeling on edge,” explains Lauren Allerhand, PsyD, a clinical psychologist at the Child Mind Institute. “They always appear to be a little bit frustrated, like they’re simmering under the surface.”

In some kids, irritability replaces the depressed mood that we think of as the defining symptom of depression. In others it appears along with feeling down. “What I see most often is kids who experience both,” adds Dr. Allerhand. “It’s like an inability to experience positive emotions. They’re waffling between this irritability and low mood.”

Dr. Allerhand notes that it can be helpful for parents to know that anger can be what is called a “secondary emotion.” That means that for some people – kids or adults — it’s easier to experience anger than sadness or loss or grief. “The locus of anger is usually external,” she notes, so it can be easier to be angry with those around you than to acknowledge some very painful negative feelings. It makes sense, then, that kids who are feeling deep sadness might express anger instead.

What does irritability look like when it’s part of depression?

There are many things that can prompt irritability and anger in young people. What are the signs that these negative moods might be associated with depression?

If the irritability is constant rather than conditional. We expect some level of irritability from teenagers in general, especially when they’re being asked to do something they don’t want to do, like put down their phones and join the family for dinner. But that typical kind of irritation or anger is intermittent, and it’s provoked by something specific.

“However, if irritation is the main way that a teenager is throughout the day,” says Dr. Allerhand, “and not only at home but also at school or in other environments, it may be related to a mood disorder rather than an environmental circumstance.”

If the irritability is accompanied by other symptoms of depression. In addition to depressed mood or irritability, to be diagnosed with depression a child would have to have at least four of these symptoms:

- Losing interest in things they once enjoyed

- Feeling worthless, saying negative things about themselves

- Lacking energy, feeling tired or seeming lazy

- Trouble concentrating or making decisions

- Gaining or losing weight, changes in appetite

- Trouble sleeping or sleeping too much

- Thinking about or attempting suicide

Irritability with high energy could be caused by anxiety. Depression generally comes with low energy levels. So when irritability appears with high energy, or it is accompanied by a lot of worried behavior, Dr. Allerhand says it’s more likely to be associated with anxiety. Or, in some cases, it can be a sign of bipolar disorder. “I would look at anxiety first,” she said, “unless there was a very strong family history of bipolar or some very strong indicators, because that’s much less common.”

If the irritability is explosive, it could beDMDD. When a child regularly has explosive outbursts of anger with seemingly little provocation, they may have the relatively new disorder calleddisruptive mood dysregulation disorder, or DMDD. “Those are the kids who go from zero to 100, throwing stuff, hitting — those really big tantrums, big displays,” notes Dr. Allerhand. The kind of irritability associated with depression is more of a steady state of being on edge, and prone to snap at someone or lash out verbally. DMDD usually shows up before age ten, but it isn’t diagnosed in kids younger than six, since temper tantrums are common in very young children.

#James Donaldson notes:Welcome to the “next chapter” of my life… being a voice and an advocate for #mentalhealthawarenessandsuicideprevention, especially pertaining to our younger generation of students and student-athletes.Getting men to speak up and reach out for help and assistance is one of my passions. Us men need to not suffer in silence or drown our sorrows in alcohol, hang out at bars and strip joints, or get involved with drug use.Having gone through a recent bout of #depression and #suicidalthoughts myself, I realize now, that I can make a huge difference in the lives of so many by sharing my story, and by sharing various resources I come across as I work in this space.  #http://bit.ly/JamesMentalHealthArticleFind out more about the work I do on my 501c3 non-profit foundationwebsite www.yourgiftoflife.org Order your copy of James Donaldson's latest book,#CelebratingYourGiftofLife: From The Verge of Suicide to a Life of Purpose and Joy

Click Here For More Information About James Donaldson

Click here to follow James Donaldson's Blog

What to do if you’re concerned

If you’re wondering if the irritability or anger you’re seeing from a child or teenager could be a sign of depression, Dr. Allerhand has these recommendations:

Talk to them about how they’re feeling. If your child seems unusually irritable, something may be going on that’s driving the behavior. A good place to start is having a conversation with them to see if there’s something at school or at home that’s causing them stress.

“Start with something open-ended like, ‘How have you been feeling lately? I know things have been tough,’ ” she suggests. “See what the child says. If they are open to talking about how they feel, great! Parents should listen and validate without jumping immediately to problem solving — unless the child is specifically asking for problem solving.”

If the child is unresponsive to first attempts, Dr. Allerhand encourages parents to let it go and let the child know they are always available to chat. “I’d recommend doing this often — even daily — so they will come to you when they’re ready,” she says. “This shouldn’t be a power struggle, or kids will never want to share.”

If it’s less than constant, try to ignore it. If your child’s irritability seems to be triggered by things they don’t want to do, or they’re irritable in the morning but pleasant in the afternoon, it’s less likely to be a sign of a mood disorder. “If it’s more conditional and not happening all the time, I would ignore it as much as you possibly can,” advises Dr. Allerhand. “It’s best to avoid saying things like, ‘That’s disrespectful,’ or, ‘You don’t talk to me like that.’ Any of that kind of attention is going to increase the likelihood that you see more of it.”

On the other hand, do praise behavior you do want to see: “So anytime they come down to the dinner table and sit down and grunt one word at you, you say, ‘Thank you so much. I love when you have dinner with us.’ No sarcasm either.”

If it’s only happening at home, you probably don’t need to worry. Even if a teenager is irritable most of the time at home, if they’re happy at school or in other environments, then it’s more likely to be typical edginess than a mood disorder, Dr. Allerhand advises.

Teenagers tend to direct anger and irritability towards parents, since venting is less risky where you are most secure. “Forming strong peer relationships is a high priority for teenagers. And if you’re irritable and blow up at people, they don’t generally want to be your friend. So oftentimes kids save it for the people who they have the most secure relationships with,” adds Dr. Allerhand.

And since parents have control over so much of a child’s — and even a teenager’s — life, they’re very easy targets for irritation and anger.

Talk to a mental health professional 

If your child’s irritability and anger are a pattern that’s going on every day, for more than a couple of weeks, and outside the home as well as with the family, it’s a good idea to consult a mental health professional. Especially when it’s caught early, depression is very treatable. Treatment for depression includes both medication and specialized forms of cognitive behavioral therapy that focus on helping kids learn to cope with difficult emotions. https://standingabovethecrowd.com/?p=16264

James Donaldson on Mental Health - Angry Kids: Dealing With Explosive Behavior

How to respond when a child lashes out

Clinical Experts: Vasco Lopes, PsyD , Marc Shuldiner, PsyD

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4KkodlMV43g

Key Takeaways

- Kids’ anger often stems from difficulty handling frustration and a lack of problem-solving skills. Conditions like ADHD, anxiety, or autism may contribute.
- Parents are advised to try to stay calm, avoid giving in to demands, and praise appropriate emotional expression.
- Coaching kids in problem-solving skills and identifying their triggers can also help reduce anger.
- Behavioral techniques for anger management
- What kind of tantrum is it?
- Help with behavioral techniques
- Figuring out explosive behavior
- When behavioral plans aren’t enough
- Explosive children need calm, confident parents

When a child — even a small child — melts down and becomes aggressive, they can pose a serious risk to themselves and others, including parents and siblings.

It’s not uncommon for kids who have trouble handling their emotions to lose control and direct their distress at a caregiver — screaming and cursing, throwing dangerous objects, or hitting and biting. It can be a scary, stressful experience for you and your child, too. Children often feel sorry after they’ve worn themselves out and calmed down.

So what are you to do?

It’s helpful to first understand that behavior is communication. A child who is so overwhelmed that they are lashing out is a distressed child. They don’t have the skill to manage their feelings and express them in a more mature way. They may lack language, impulse control, or problem-solving abilities.

Sometimes parents see this kind of explosive behavior as manipulative. But kids who lash out are usually unable to handle frustration or anger in a more effective way — say, by talking and figuring out how to achieve what they want.

Nonetheless, how you react when a child lashes out has an effect on whether they will continue to respond to distress in the same way or learn better ways to handle feelings so they don’t become overwhelming.

Behavioral techniques for anger management

Here are some pointers to help kids learn techniques to regulate their emotions:

- Stay calm. Faced with a raging child, it’s easy to feel out of control and find yourself yelling at them. But when you shout, you have less chance of reaching them. Instead, you will only be making them more aggressive and defiant. As hard as it may be, if you can stay calm and in control of your own emotions, you can be a model for your child and teach them to do the same thing.
- Don’t give in. Don’t encourage them to continue this behavior by agreeing to what they want in order to make it stop.
- Praise appropriate behavior. When they have calmed down, praise them for pulling themselves together. And when they do try to express their feelings verbally, calmly, or try to find a compromise on an area of disagreement, praise them for those efforts.
- Help them practice problem-solving skills. When your child is not upset is the time to help them try out communicating their feelings and coming up with solutions to conflicts before they escalate into aggressive outbursts. You can ask them how they feel and how they think you might solve a problem.
- Time-outs and reward systems. Time-outs for nonviolent misbehavior can work well with children younger than 7 or 8 years old. When using time-outs, be sure to be consistent with them and balance them with other, more positive forms of attention. If a child is too old for time-outs, you want to move to a system of positive reinforcement for appropriate behavior — points or tokens toward something they want.
- Avoid triggers. Vasco Lopes, PsyD, a clinical psychologist, says most kids who have frequent meltdowns do it at very predictable times, like homework time, bedtime, or when it’s time to stop playing, whether it’s Legos or video games. The trigger is usually being asked to do something they don’t like, or to stop doing something they do like. Time warnings (“we’re going in 10 minutes”), breaking tasks down into one-step directions (“first, put on your shoes”), and preparing your child for situations (“please ask to be excused before you leave Grandma’s table”) can all help avoid meltdowns.

What kind of tantrum is it?

How you respond to a tantrum also depends on its severity. The first rule in handling nonviolent tantrums is to ignore them as often as possible, since even negative attention, like telling the child to stop, can be encouraging.

But when a child is getting physical, ignoring is not recommended since it can result in harm to others as well as your child. In this situation, Dr. Lopes advises putting the child in a safe environment that does not give them access to you or any other potential rewards.

Critics of time-outs argue that they can be emotionally isolating for kids, but research shows that they are effective and do not cause children harm. (For more on the debate around time-outs, read our full article on the topic.) However, it’s very important to use them as just one technique in a nurturing, supportive parenting strategy. Be sure to balance use of time outs with lots of praise for kids’ positive behaviors. It’s also important to manage your own stress so that kids can learn how to regulate their emotions from your positive example.

If the child is young (usually 7 or younger), try placing them in a time out chair. If they won’t stay in the chair, take them to a backup area where they can calm down on their own without anyone else in the room. Again, for this approach to work there shouldn’t be any toys or games in the area that might make it rewarding.

Your child should stay in that room for one minute and must be calm before they are allowed out. Then they should come back to the chair for time out. “What this does is gives your child an immediate and consistent consequence for their aggression and it removes all access to reinforcing things in their environment,” explains Dr. Lopes.

If you have an older child who is being aggressive and you aren’t able to carry them into an isolated area to calm down, Dr. Lopes advises removing yourself from their vicinity. This ensures that they are not getting any attention or reinforcement from you and keeps you safe. In extreme instances, it may be necessary to call 911 to ensure your and your child’s safety.

Help with behavioral techniques

If your child is doing a lot of lashing out — enough that it is frequently frightening you and disrupting your family — it’s important to get some professional help. There are good behavioral therapies that can help you and your child get past the aggression, relieve your stress, and improve your relationship. You can learn techniques for managing their behavior more effectively, and they can learn to rein in disruptive behavior and enjoy a much more positive relationship with you.

- Parent-child interaction therapy (PCIT). PCIT has been shown to be very helpful for children between the ages of 2 and 7. The parent and child work together through a set of exercises while a therapist coaches parents through an ear piece. You learn how to pay more attention to your child’s positive behavior, ignore minor misbehaviors, and provide consistent consequences for negative and aggressive behavior, all while remaining calm.
- Parent management training (PMT). PMT teaches similar techniques as PCIT, though the therapist usually works with parents, not the child.
- Collaborative and Proactive Solutions (CPS). CPS is a program based on the idea that explosive or disruptive behavior is the result of lagging skills rather than, say, an attempt to get attention or test limits. The idea is to teach children the skills they lack to respond to a situation in a more effective way than throwing a tantrum.

Figuring out explosive behavior

Tantrums and meltdowns are especially concerning when they occur more often, more intensely, or past the age in which they’re developmentally expected — those terrible twos up through preschool. As a child gets older, aggression becomes more and more dangerous to you, and the child. And it can become a big problem for them at school and with friends, too.

If your child has a pattern of lashing out it may be because of an underlying problem that needs treatment. Some possible reasons for aggressive behavior include:

- ADHD: Kids with ADHD are frustrated easily, especially in certain situations, such as when they’re supposed to do homework or go to bed.
- Anxiety: An anxious child may keep their worries secret, then lash out when the demands at school or at home put pressure on them that they can’t handle. Often, a child who “keeps it together” at school loses it with one or both parents.
- Undiagnosed learning disability: When your child acts out repeatedly in school or during homework time, it could be because the work is very hard for them.
- Sensory processing issues: Some children have trouble processing the information they are taking in through their senses. Things like too much noise, crowds and even “scratchy” clothes can make them anxious, uncomfortable, or overwhelmed. That can lead to actions that leave you mystified, including aggression.
- Autism: Children with autism spectrum disorder are often prone to meltdowns when they are frustrated or faced with unexpected change. They also often have sensory issues that make them anxious and agitated.

Given that there are so many possible causes for emotional outbursts and aggression, an accurate diagnosis is key to getting the help you need. You may want to start with your pediatrician. They can rule out medical causes and then refer you to a specialist. A trained, experienced child psychologist or psychiatrist can help determine what, if any, underlying issues are present.

#James Donaldson notes:
Welcome to the “next chapter” of my life… being a voice and an advocate for #mentalhealthawarenessandsuicideprevention, especially pertaining to our younger generation of students and student-athletes.
Getting men to speak up and reach out for help and assistance is one of my passions. Us men need to not suffer in silence or drown our sorrows in alcohol, hang out at bars and strip joints, or get involved with drug use.
Having gone through a recent bout of #depression and #suicidalthoughts myself, I realize now, that I can make a huge difference in the lives of so many by sharing my story, and by sharing various resources I come across as I work in this space.  #http://bit.ly/JamesMentalHealthArticle
Find out more about the work I do on my 501c3 non-profit foundation
website www.yourgiftoflife.org Order your copy of James Donaldson's latest book,
#CelebratingYourGiftofLife: From The Verge of Suicide to a Life of Purpose and Joy

Click Here For More Information About James Donaldson

Click here to follow James Donaldson's Blog

When behavioral plans aren’t enough

Professionals agree, the younger you can treat a child, the better. But what about older children and even younger kids who are so dangerous to themselves and others that behavioral techniques aren’t enough to keep them and others around them safe?

- Medication. Medication for underlying conditions such as ADHD and anxiety may make your child more reachable and teachable. Kids with extreme behavior problems are often treated with antipsychotic medications like Risperdal or Abilify. But these medications should be partnered with behavioral techniques.
- Holds. Parent training may, in fact, include learning how to use safe holds on your child so that you can keep both them and yourself out of harm’s way.
- Residential settings. Children with extreme behaviors may need to spend time in a residential treatment facility — sometimes, but not always, in a hospital setting. There, they receive behavioral and, most likely, pharmaceutical treatment. Therapeutic boarding schools provide consistency and structure around the clock, seven days a week. The goal is for the child to internalize self-control so they can come back home with more appropriate behavior with you and the world at large.
- Day treatment. With day treatment, a child with extreme behavioral problems lives at home but attends a school with a strict behavioral plan. Such schools should have trained staff prepared to safely handle crisis situations.

Explosive children need calm, confident parents

It can be challenging work for parents to learn how to handle an aggressive child with behavioral approaches, but for many kids it can make a big difference. Parents who are confident, calm, and consistent can be very successful in helping children develop the anger management skills they need to regulate their own behavior.

This may require more patience and willingness to try different techniques than you might with a typically developing child, but when the result is a better relationship and happier home, it’s well worth the effort.

Frequently Asked Questions

How can you deal with children’s anger?

How do I teach a child to control their anger?

In parent-child interaction therapy, a therapist coaches parents on how to pay more attention to positive behavior, ignore minor misbehaviors, and provide consistent consequences for negative and aggressive behavior, all while remaining calm. Other forms of therapy also center on teaching the parent how to model emotional stability.

How can I calm a child down when angry?

How do I help a child with anger issues?

https://standingabovethecrowd.com/james-donaldson-on-mental-health-angry-kids-dealing-with-explosive-behavior/

by Alfare SilvaMon,

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9MtQkb0dIrQ&t=2s

Laura Moss, deputy director of the National Alliance on Mental Illness of South Carolina, speaks about the need for jump guards on bridges.

NORTH CHARLESTON, S.C. (WCIV) — After a week marked by gun violence and tragedy in North Charleston, police say a recent incident ended with a rare but meaningful outcome – a life saved.

North Charleston Police Chief Ron Camacho said officers were able to intervene before a situation turned fatal, calling it a positive moment amid an otherwise difficult stretch.

“On the bright side, we saved a life,” Camacho said. “With all this tragedy, all this death that we’ve dealt with this week, it is positive to see that we saved a life.”

The incident comes as community members continue to grapple with broader public safety and mental health concerns, including last week’s nearly 10-hour traffic standstill that shut down a major roadway and left many asking what more can be done to prevent bridges and overpasses from becoming sites of suicide attempts.

Mental health advocates say physical barriers can play a critical role in prevention.

“These barricades would be so beneficial even if it were to just stop someone for a few moments to think about what is happening and what their decision is about what they’re about to do,” said Laura Moss, deputy director of the National Alliance on Mental Illness of South Carolina.

The recently opened Weber Interchange already includes a jump guard, designed to prevent people from accessing the edge of the overpass and to give authorities time to respond if someone attempts to climb it.

A similar barrier was installed earlier this year on the Ashley Phosphate Road overpass following two suicides there. The South Carolina Department of Transportation said a $125,000 grant paid for that barrier.

#James Donaldson notes:Welcome to the “next chapter” of my life… being a voice and an advocate for #mentalhealthawarenessandsuicideprevention, especially pertaining to our younger generation of students and student-athletes.Getting men to speak up and reach out for help and assistance is one of my passions. Us men need to not suffer in silence or drown our sorrows in alcohol, hang out at bars and strip joints, or get involved with drug use.Having gone through a recent bout of #depression and #suicidalthoughts myself, I realize now, that I can make a huge difference in the lives of so many by sharing my story, and by sharing various resources I come across as I work in this space.  #http://bit.ly/JamesMentalHealthArticleFind out more about the work I do on my 501c3 non-profit foundationwebsite www.yourgiftoflife.org Order your copy of James Donaldson's latest book,#CelebratingYourGiftofLife: From The Verge of Suicide to a Life of Purpose and Joy

Click Here For More Information About James Donaldson

Click here to follow James Donaldson's Blog

READ MORE | "Palmetto Commerce Interchange opens, easing traffic in North Charleston, tri-county area."

Now, NAMI of South Carolina is pushing for the addition of 988 signage on bridges and overpasses statewide, arguing that a visible reminder of help could save lives.

“Signage that would alert them to resources, that they are not alone, that 988 is out there to help them as a resource in a moment of crisis,” Moss said.

The Suicide and Crisis Lifeline transitioned from a 10-digit phone number to the three-digit 988 nearly three and a half years ago. Since then, demand for services has continued to rise.

“Recently, our answer rate for our state is around 86%,” said Jesse Kobernik, suicide prevention program manager with the South Carolina Department of Behavioral Health and Developmental Disabilities. “We were able to get to 90% in June, but our call volume demand continues to increase, so more and more people are reaching out.”

With two call centers now operating in South Carolina, officials say more support is available than ever before. Kobernik emphasized that callers do not need to be in immediate crisis to reach out.

“You can also call if you are not in a crisis, but you feel like you need to talk to somebody,” he said. “988 is there as well to talk, and you can call if you’re worried about somebody else.”

For those not directly involved in last week’s incident, advocates say the emotional toll can still be significant.

“And I think any of us with a heart are touched by it,” said Charlotte Anderson, a survivors of suicide support group host with Coastal Crisis Chaplaincy. “Give your heart that space to feel that, and then do what works for you — whether that’s saying a prayer, having a moment of silence, or reaching out to a family member or a friend.”

Anyone struggling or concerned about someone else can call or text 988, the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline, available 24 hours a day. https://standingabovethecrowd.com/?p=16257

How to respond when a child lashes out

Clinical Experts: Vasco Lopes, PsyD , Marc Shuldiner, PsyD

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4KkodlMV43g

Key Takeaways

- Kids’ anger often stems from difficulty handling frustration and a lack of problem-solving skills. Conditions like ADHD, anxiety, or autism may contribute.

- Parents are advised to try to stay calm, avoid giving in to demands, and praise appropriate emotional expression.

- Coaching kids in problem-solving skills and identifying their triggers can also help reduce anger.

- Behavioral techniques for anger management

- What kind of tantrum is it?

- Help with behavioral techniques

- Figuring out explosive behavior

- When behavioral plans aren’t enough

- Explosive children need calm, confident parents

When a child — even a small child — melts down and becomes aggressive, they can pose a serious risk to themselves and others, including parents and siblings.

It’s not uncommon for kids who have trouble handling their emotions to lose control and direct their distress at a caregiver — screaming and cursing, throwing dangerous objects, or hitting and biting. It can be a scary, stressful experience for you and your child, too. Children often feel sorry after they’ve worn themselves out and calmed down.

So what are you to do?

It’s helpful to first understand that behavior is communication. A child who is so overwhelmed that they are lashing out is a distressed child. They don’t have the skill to manage their feelings and express them in a more mature way. They may lack language, impulse control, or problem-solving abilities.

Sometimes parents see this kind of explosive behavior as manipulative. But kids who lash out are usually unable to handle frustration or anger in a more effective way — say, by talking and figuring out how to achieve what they want.

Nonetheless, how you react when a child lashes out has an effect on whether they will continue to respond to distress in the same way or learn better ways to handle feelings so they don’t become overwhelming.

Behavioral techniques for anger management

Here are some pointers to help kids learn techniques to regulate their emotions:

- Stay calm. Faced with a raging child, it’s easy to feel out of control and find yourself yelling at them. But when you shout, you have less chance of reaching them. Instead, you will only be making them more aggressive and defiant. As hard as it may be, if you can stay calm and in control of your own emotions, you can be a model for your child and teach them to do the same thing.

- Don’t give in. Don’t encourage them to continue this behavior by agreeing to what they want in order to make it stop.

- Praise appropriate behavior. When they have calmed down, praise them for pulling themselves together. And when they do try to express their feelings verbally, calmly, or try to find a compromise on an area of disagreement, praise them for those efforts.

- Help them practice problem-solving skills. When your child is not upset is the time to help them try out communicating their feelings and coming up with solutions to conflicts before they escalate into aggressive outbursts. You can ask them how they feel and how they think you might solve a problem.

- Time-outs and reward systems. Time-outs for nonviolent misbehavior can work well with children younger than 7 or 8 years old. When using time-outs, be sure to be consistent with them and balance them with other, more positive forms of attention. If a child is too old for time-outs, you want to move to a system of positive reinforcement for appropriate behavior — points or tokens toward something they want.

- Avoid triggers. Vasco Lopes, PsyD, a clinical psychologist, says most kids who have frequent meltdowns do it at very predictable times, like homework time, bedtime, or when it’s time to stop playing, whether it’s Legos or video games. The trigger is usually being asked to do something they don’t like, or to stop doing something they do like. Time warnings (“we’re going in 10 minutes”), breaking tasks down into one-step directions (“first, put on your shoes”), and preparing your child for situations (“please ask to be excused before you leave Grandma’s table”) can all help avoid meltdowns.

What kind of tantrum is it?

How you respond to a tantrum also depends on its severity. The first rule in handling nonviolent tantrums is to ignore them as often as possible, since even negative attention, like telling the child to stop, can be encouraging.

But when a child is getting physical, ignoring is not recommended since it can result in harm to others as well as your child. In this situation, Dr. Lopes advises putting the child in a safe environment that does not give them access to you or any other potential rewards.

Critics of time-outs argue that they can be emotionally isolating for kids, but research shows that they are effective and do not cause children harm. (For more on the debate around time-outs, read our full article on the topic.) However, it’s very important to use them as just one technique in a nurturing, supportive parenting strategy. Be sure to balance use of time outs with lots of praise for kids’ positive behaviors. It’s also important to manage your own stress so that kids can learn how to regulate their emotions from your positive example.

If the child is young (usually 7 or younger), try placing them in a time out chair. If they won’t stay in the chair, take them to a backup area where they can calm down on their own without anyone else in the room. Again, for this approach to work there shouldn’t be any toys or games in the area that might make it rewarding.

Your child should stay in that room for one minute and must be calm before they are allowed out. Then they should come back to the chair for time out. “What this does is gives your child an immediate and consistent consequence for their aggression and it removes all access to reinforcing things in their environment,” explains Dr. Lopes.

If you have an older child who is being aggressive and you aren’t able to carry them into an isolated area to calm down, Dr. Lopes advises removing yourself from their vicinity. This ensures that they are not getting any attention or reinforcement from you and keeps you safe. In extreme instances, it may be necessary to call 911 to ensure your and your child’s safety.

Help with behavioral techniques

If your child is doing a lot of lashing out — enough that it is frequently frightening you and disrupting your family — it’s important to get some professional help. There are good behavioral therapies that can help you and your child get past the aggression, relieve your stress, and improve your relationship. You can learn techniques for managing their behavior more effectively, and they can learn to rein in disruptive behavior and enjoy a much more positive relationship with you.

- Parent-child interaction therapy (PCIT). PCIT has been shown to be very helpful for children between the ages of 2 and 7. The parent and child work together through a set of exercises while a therapist coaches parents through an ear piece. You learn how to pay more attention to your child’s positive behavior, ignore minor misbehaviors, and provide consistent consequences for negative and aggressive behavior, all while remaining calm.

- Parent management training (PMT). PMT teaches similar techniques as PCIT, though the therapist usually works with parents, not the child.

- Collaborative and Proactive Solutions (CPS). CPS is a program based on the idea that explosive or disruptive behavior is the result of lagging skills rather than, say, an attempt to get attention or test limits. The idea is to teach children the skills they lack to respond to a situation in a more effective way than throwing a tantrum.

Figuring out explosive behavior

Tantrums and meltdowns are especially concerning when they occur more often, more intensely, or past the age in which they’re developmentally expected — those terrible twos up through preschool. As a child gets older, aggression becomes more and more dangerous to you, and the child. And it can become a big problem for them at school and with friends, too.

If your child has a pattern of lashing out it may be because of an underlying problem that needs treatment. Some possible reasons for aggressive behavior include:

- ADHD: Kids with ADHD are frustrated easily, especially in certain situations, such as when they’re supposed to do homework or go to bed.

- Anxiety: An anxious child may keep their worries secret, then lash out when the demands at school or at home put pressure on them that they can’t handle. Often, a child who “keeps it together” at school loses it with one or both parents.

- Undiagnosed learning disability: When your child acts out repeatedly in school or during homework time, it could be because the work is very hard for them.

- Sensory processing issues: Some children have trouble processing the information they are taking in through their senses. Things like too much noise, crowds and even “scratchy” clothes can make them anxious, uncomfortable, or overwhelmed. That can lead to actions that leave you mystified, including aggression.

- Autism: Children with autism spectrum disorder are often prone to meltdowns when they are frustrated or faced with unexpected change. They also often have sensory issues that make them anxious and agitated.

Given that there are so many possible causes for emotional outbursts and aggression, an accurate diagnosis is key to getting the help you need. You may want to start with your pediatrician. They can rule out medical causes and then refer you to a specialist. A trained, experienced child psychologist or psychiatrist can help determine what, if any, underlying issues are present.

#James Donaldson notes:Welcome to the “next chapter” of my life… being a voice and an advocate for #mentalhealthawarenessandsuicideprevention, especially pertaining to our younger generation of students and student-athletes.Getting men to speak up and reach out for help and assistance is one of my passions. Us men need to not suffer in silence or drown our sorrows in alcohol, hang out at bars and strip joints, or get involved with drug use.Having gone through a recent bout of #depression and #suicidalthoughts myself, I realize now, that I can make a huge difference in the lives of so many by sharing my story, and by sharing various resources I come across as I work in this space.  #http://bit.ly/JamesMentalHealthArticleFind out more about the work I do on my 501c3 non-profit foundationwebsite www.yourgiftoflife.org Order your copy of James Donaldson's latest book,#CelebratingYourGiftofLife: From The Verge of Suicide to a Life of Purpose and Joy

Click Here For More Information About James Donaldson

Click here to follow James Donaldson's Blog

When behavioral plans aren’t enough

Professionals agree, the younger you can treat a child, the better. But what about older children and even younger kids who are so dangerous to themselves and others that behavioral techniques aren’t enough to keep them and others around them safe?

- Medication. Medication for underlying conditions such as ADHD and anxiety may make your child more reachable and teachable. Kids with extreme behavior problems are often treated with antipsychotic medications like Risperdal or Abilify. But these medications should be partnered with behavioral techniques.

- Holds. Parent training may, in fact, include learning how to use safe holds on your child so that you can keep both them and yourself out of harm’s way.

- Residential settings. Children with extreme behaviors may need to spend time in a residential treatment facility — sometimes, but not always, in a hospital setting. There, they receive behavioral and, most likely, pharmaceutical treatment. Therapeutic boarding schools provide consistency and structure around the clock, seven days a week. The goal is for the child to internalize self-control so they can come back home with more appropriate behavior with you and the world at large.

- Day treatment. With day treatment, a child with extreme behavioral problems lives at home but attends a school with a strict behavioral plan. Such schools should have trained staff prepared to safely handle crisis situations.

Explosive children need calm, confident parents

It can be challenging work for parents to learn how to handle an aggressive child with behavioral approaches, but for many kids it can make a big difference. Parents who are confident, calm, and consistent can be very successful in helping children develop the anger management skills they need to regulate their own behavior.

This may require more patience and willingness to try different techniques than you might with a typically developing child, but when the result is a better relationship and happier home, it’s well worth the effort.

Frequently Asked Questions

How can you deal with children’s anger?

How do I teach a child to control their anger?

In parent-child interaction therapy, a therapist coaches parents on how to pay more attention to positive behavior, ignore minor misbehaviors, and provide consistent consequences for negative and aggressive behavior, all while remaining calm. Other forms of therapy also center on teaching the parent how to model emotional stability.

How can I calm a child down when angry?

How do I help a child with anger issues? https://standingabovethecrowd.com/?p=16261

James Donaldson on Mental Health - Mental health advocates call for bridge barriers, 988 signs to prevent suicides

by Alfare SilvaMon,

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9MtQkb0dIrQ&t=2s

Laura Moss, deputy director of the National Alliance on Mental Illness of South Carolina, speaks about the need for jump guards on bridges.

NORTH CHARLESTON, S.C. (WCIV) — After a week marked by gun violence and tragedy in North Charleston, police say a recent incident ended with a rare but meaningful outcome – a life saved.

North Charleston Police Chief Ron Camacho said officers were able to intervene before a situation turned fatal, calling it a positive moment amid an otherwise difficult stretch.

“On the bright side, we saved a life,” Camacho said. “With all this tragedy, all this death that we’ve dealt with this week, it is positive to see that we saved a life.”

The incident comes as community members continue to grapple with broader public safety and mental health concerns, including last week’s nearly 10-hour traffic standstill that shut down a major roadway and left many asking what more can be done to prevent bridges and overpasses from becoming sites of suicide attempts.

Mental health advocates say physical barriers can play a critical role in prevention.

“These barricades would be so beneficial even if it were to just stop someone for a few moments to think about what is happening and what their decision is about what they’re about to do,” said Laura Moss, deputy director of the National Alliance on Mental Illness of South Carolina.

The recently opened Weber Interchange already includes a jump guard, designed to prevent people from accessing the edge of the overpass and to give authorities time to respond if someone attempts to climb it.

A similar barrier was installed earlier this year on the Ashley Phosphate Road overpass following two suicides there. The South Carolina Department of Transportation said a $125,000 grant paid for that barrier.

#James Donaldson notes:
Welcome to the “next chapter” of my life… being a voice and an advocate for #mentalhealthawarenessandsuicideprevention, especially pertaining to our younger generation of students and student-athletes.
Getting men to speak up and reach out for help and assistance is one of my passions. Us men need to not suffer in silence or drown our sorrows in alcohol, hang out at bars and strip joints, or get involved with drug use.
Having gone through a recent bout of #depression and #suicidalthoughts myself, I realize now, that I can make a huge difference in the lives of so many by sharing my story, and by sharing various resources I come across as I work in this space.  #http://bit.ly/JamesMentalHealthArticle
Find out more about the work I do on my 501c3 non-profit foundation
website www.yourgiftoflife.org Order your copy of James Donaldson's latest book,
#CelebratingYourGiftofLife: From The Verge of Suicide to a Life of Purpose and Joy

Click Here For More Information About James Donaldson

Click here to follow James Donaldson's Blog

READ MORE | "Palmetto Commerce Interchange opens, easing traffic in North Charleston, tri-county area."

Now, NAMI of South Carolina is pushing for the addition of 988 signage on bridges and overpasses statewide, arguing that a visible reminder of help could save lives.

“Signage that would alert them to resources, that they are not alone, that 988 is out there to help them as a resource in a moment of crisis,” Moss said.

The Suicide and Crisis Lifeline transitioned from a 10-digit phone number to the three-digit 988 nearly three and a half years ago. Since then, demand for services has continued to rise.

“Recently, our answer rate for our state is around 86%,” said Jesse Kobernik, suicide prevention program manager with the South Carolina Department of Behavioral Health and Developmental Disabilities. “We were able to get to 90% in June, but our call volume demand continues to increase, so more and more people are reaching out.”

With two call centers now operating in South Carolina, officials say more support is available than ever before. Kobernik emphasized that callers do not need to be in immediate crisis to reach out.

“You can also call if you are not in a crisis, but you feel like you need to talk to somebody,” he said. “988 is there as well to talk, and you can call if you’re worried about somebody else.”

For those not directly involved in last week’s incident, advocates say the emotional toll can still be significant.

“And I think any of us with a heart are touched by it,” said Charlotte Anderson, a survivors of suicide support group host with Coastal Crisis Chaplaincy. “Give your heart that space to feel that, and then do what works for you — whether that’s saying a prayer, having a moment of silence, or reaching out to a family member or a friend.”

Anyone struggling or concerned about someone else can call or text 988, the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline, available 24 hours a day.

https://standingabovethecrowd.com/james-donaldson-on-mental-health-mental-health-advocates-call-for-bridge-barriers-988-signs-to-prevent-suicides/

James Donaldson on Mental Health - By the Numbers: Mental Health in Western Culture

By Kailey Sullins

Research on mental health specific to the cowboy community is all but nonexistent. Data within rural, farming and ranching communities is far more scarce compared to other parts of the world. Still, in the last 10 years there have been a few studies on the topic showing a much higher prevalence of depression and anxiety among young farmers and ranchers compared to the general population.

In a 2019 study by Rudolphi et al. on depression, anxiety and stress among young farmers and ranchers, personal finances and time pressures were identified as the greatest concern. The study concluded that the prevalence of depression and anxiety were much higher among young farmers and ranchers compared to the general population, citing 71% of their respondents met the criteria for a Generalized Anxiety Disorder diagnosis and 53% met the criteria for a depressive disorder.

National averages are much lower. An average of 18.1% of adults live with an anxiety disorder. Only around 6.7% of adults annually experience at least one depressive episode, defined as a period of two or more weeks during which there is either depressed mood or loss of interest or pleasure, and at least four other symptoms, such as problems with sleep, eating, energy, concentration, self-image, or recurrent thoughts of death or suicide.

In simple terms, the study found that depression, suicide and substance abuse are much more common among agricultural populations than in the general public. It also reported that the rural West has the lowest availability of primary care providers of any region in the country. More than 90% of all psychologists and psychiatrists, and 80% of social workers, are located exclusively in metropolitan areas. Couple these facts with studies proving that men are far less likely to seek behavioral health support and four times more likely to commit suicide than others, and it’s a recipe for disaster. 

“The ranching community has always had to be tough. I guess egotistically, it’s like, ‘I can’t let people know I’m struggling.’ That’s been the big stigma for tough cowboys,” Andrea Van Leuvan says.

Andrea with her husband Scott Van Leuvan, who is cowboss for the C-Punch Ranch in Lovelock, Nevada, are the founders of the Buckaroo Traditions Gathering Big Loop Roping. Andrea cowboys for a living alongside Scott but has also worked in substance abuse prevention for more than 20 years in Nevada.

Generationally speaking, the world is changing. There are less than 2 million farmers and ranchers in the United States, and yet they produce 80 to 90% of the nation’s food and fiber. This pressure combines with factors like geographical access to resources, financial disparities and societal reluctance to seek help and contributes to the cowboy and ranching outlook on mental health.

Much in the same way Justin Reichert and Nicole Grady created The Outside Circle Show to fulfill the lack of representation, most within the cowboy community don’t feel that those outside of their lifestyle can understand their struggles. With Reichert and Morris leading the charge through their organizations, not only is perception of the topic becoming more acceptable, but access to resources is increasing as well.

“We don’t really have a whole lot of resources for folks who are in chronic pain — getting bucked off and living a hard life. So, drinking comes as a coping mechanism,” says Kadie Zeller, Scott and Andrea’s daughter. “That door is really opening for these younger people to realize that you can be successful and you can be a good cowboy, and you can go to these bars and not drink. all these things that are a part of the experience without having to degrade your mental health.

“I do think the missing piece is that addiction is never the problem,” she continues. “It’s a symptom. And the symptom is generally something going on inside, and they’ve never been given the resources and tools and talked about how to cope with that.”

Britton Collum, an accredited life coach with Wild Courage, says many of the clients he’s worked with are harboring trauma or biases that prevent them from properly processing emotion.

“ cowboy culture that the only way you can really be a cowboy is that you have to dissociate,” Collum says. “I think by and large people are going to reproduce what they’re exposed to, and all it’s highlighting is that the mass majority of the culture is emotionally immature.”

Jeremy Morris, who has served as a panelists for the Outside Circle Show’s mental health panels held in Elko, Nevada, since 2023, recalls the struggles of sobriety. For him, it was not necessarily getting sober, but rather dealing with the emotional damage of his traumatic childhood.

“When you decide to do something about getting sober, that doesn’t mean your life is going to get easier, because now you’re going to have to deal with all the reasons you drink in the first place, and that’s why it’s hard to get sober and it’s hard to stay sober,” Morris says. “You can’t anesthetize that pain anymore.

“The scariest thing imaginable was to let somebody in to all those hurt and broken places of my life that kept me on the run,” Morris continues. “That started the healing journey.”

Because of Morris’ personal experience with sobriety and counseling, he’s been able to guide his nonprofit Wild Courage and corresponding podcast in a way that speaks to others in similar situations.

“We have all these toxic behaviors that come out of all this pain that’s trapped inside,” Morris says. “I think at some level, we all feel like we’re alone in whatever it is we’re going through, and there’s something very hopeful and validating about hearing somebody verbalize something you’re experiencing that you thought you were the only one on the planet who was going through it. It’s validating to your pain, but also it’s hopeful, like, ‘Wow, that guy made it through it. Maybe I can.’”

#James Donaldson notes:
Welcome to the “next chapter” of my life… being a voice and an advocate for #mentalhealthawarenessandsuicideprevention, especially pertaining to our younger generation of students and student-athletes.
Getting men to speak up and reach out for help and assistance is one of my passions. Us men need to not suffer in silence or drown our sorrows in alcohol, hang out at bars and strip joints, or get involved with drug use.
Having gone through a recent bout of #depression and #suicidalthoughts myself, I realize now, that I can make a huge difference in the lives of so many by sharing my story, and by sharing various resources I come across as I work in this space.  #http://bit.ly/JamesMentalHealthArticle
Find out more about the work I do on my 501c3 non-profit foundation
website www.yourgiftoflife.org Order your copy of James Donaldson's latest book,
#CelebratingYourGiftofLife: From The Verge of Suicide to a Life of Purpose and Joy

Click Here For More Information About James Donaldson

Click here to follow James Donaldson's Blog

It’s Time to Start Talking

While pushback is inevitable in any new venture, and especially one of controversy, those who feel called to this cause won’t be halted by negativity. Reichert admits their mission with the Outside Circle Show’s mental health panel wasn’t met with 100% support; some were both skeptical and averse to making waves within the community.

“The first year was rough. We didn’t know what it was going to be or how it was going to be perceived. Even this year, there were guys standing out in the hall laughing,” Reichert says. “But, if we can preserve some of the cowboy culture and keep it authentic and keep it real in the day and age of social media, I think that’s worthwhile. And, if we can do any good in the mental health community, if we help one person, it’d be worth it. I guess I can’t really let what people think of us stop us.”

Ultimately, in a world often caught up in the ego and pride of what it means to be cowboy, this group of men and women are breaking barriers. The cornerstone of their cause is love for their fellow cowboy, and it has created a safe space for their peers to gather and open their hearts to a new way of thinking and living.

“What if we had the courage to be seen and heard? To tell our stories that we thought we’d take to the grave?” Morris asks. “We create this narrative that if you really knew what’s happened to me or what I’ve done, I will be unaccepted and judged. We’ve learned that through our society and the shame that comes with some of these stories. But I’ve found that shame and vulnerability can’t coexist. These beautiful things start happening with men when they have a chance to be vulnerable and have a safe place to tell their story.”

Addiction rears its head in many ways. Some struggle with substance abuse while others are consumed with work, food or any number of vices. It’s a chronic, compulsive, physiological or psychological need for a habit-forming substance, behavior or activity that ultimately results in having a harmful effect on one’s life. But there’s light at the end of the tunnel.

“Life is so incredibly beautiful when you’re not looking through the haze of addiction,” Morris says. “I’m not saying it’s easy, but it’s worth it. And you’re worth it.”

https://standingabovethecrowd.com/james-donaldson-on-mental-health-by-the-numbers-mental-health-in-western-culture/

By Kailey Sullins

Research on mental health specific to the cowboy community is all but nonexistent. Data within rural, farming and ranching communities is far more scarce compared to other parts of the world. Still, in the last 10 years there have been a few studies on the topic showing a much higher prevalence of depression and anxiety among young farmers and ranchers compared to the general population.

In a 2019 study by Rudolphi et al. on depression, anxiety and stress among young farmers and ranchers, personal finances and time pressures were identified as the greatest concern. The study concluded that the prevalence of depression and anxiety were much higher among young farmers and ranchers compared to the general population, citing 71% of their respondents met the criteria for a Generalized Anxiety Disorder diagnosis and 53% met the criteria for a depressive disorder.

National averages are much lower. An average of 18.1% of adults live with an anxiety disorder. Only around 6.7% of adults annually experience at least one depressive episode, defined as a period of two or more weeks during which there is either depressed mood or loss of interest or pleasure, and at least four other symptoms, such as problems with sleep, eating, energy, concentration, self-image, or recurrent thoughts of death or suicide.

In simple terms, the study found that depression, suicide and substance abuse are much more common among agricultural populations than in the general public. It also reported that the rural West has the lowest availability of primary care providers of any region in the country. More than 90% of all psychologists and psychiatrists, and 80% of social workers, are located exclusively in metropolitan areas. Couple these facts with studies proving that men are far less likely to seek behavioral health support and four times more likely to commit suicide than others, and it’s a recipe for disaster. 

“The ranching community has always had to be tough. I guess egotistically, it’s like, ‘I can’t let people know I’m struggling.’ That’s been the big stigma for tough cowboys,” Andrea Van Leuvan says.

Andrea with her husband Scott Van Leuvan, who is cowboss for the C-Punch Ranch in Lovelock, Nevada, are the founders of the Buckaroo Traditions Gathering Big Loop Roping. Andrea cowboys for a living alongside Scott but has also worked in substance abuse prevention for more than 20 years in Nevada.

Generationally speaking, the world is changing. There are less than 2 million farmers and ranchers in the United States, and yet they produce 80 to 90% of the nation’s food and fiber. This pressure combines with factors like geographical access to resources, financial disparities and societal reluctance to seek help and contributes to the cowboy and ranching outlook on mental health.

Much in the same way Justin Reichert and Nicole Grady created The Outside Circle Show to fulfill the lack of representation, most within the cowboy community don’t feel that those outside of their lifestyle can understand their struggles. With Reichert and Morris leading the charge through their organizations, not only is perception of the topic becoming more acceptable, but access to resources is increasing as well.

“We don’t really have a whole lot of resources for folks who are in chronic pain — getting bucked off and living a hard life. So, drinking comes as a coping mechanism,” says Kadie Zeller, Scott and Andrea’s daughter. “That door is really opening for these younger people to realize that you can be successful and you can be a good cowboy, and you can go to these bars and not drink. all these things that are a part of the experience without having to degrade your mental health.

“I do think the missing piece is that addiction is never the problem,” she continues. “It’s a symptom. And the symptom is generally something going on inside, and they’ve never been given the resources and tools and talked about how to cope with that.”

Britton Collum, an accredited life coach with Wild Courage, says many of the clients he’s worked with are harboring trauma or biases that prevent them from properly processing emotion.

“ cowboy culture that the only way you can really be a cowboy is that you have to dissociate,” Collum says. “I think by and large people are going to reproduce what they’re exposed to, and all it’s highlighting is that the mass majority of the culture is emotionally immature.”

Jeremy Morris, who has served as a panelists for the Outside Circle Show’s mental health panels held in Elko, Nevada, since 2023, recalls the struggles of sobriety. For him, it was not necessarily getting sober, but rather dealing with the emotional damage of his traumatic childhood.

“When you decide to do something about getting sober, that doesn’t mean your life is going to get easier, because now you’re going to have to deal with all the reasons you drink in the first place, and that’s why it’s hard to get sober and it’s hard to stay sober,” Morris says. “You can’t anesthetize that pain anymore.

“The scariest thing imaginable was to let somebody in to all those hurt and broken places of my life that kept me on the run,” Morris continues. “That started the healing journey.”

Because of Morris’ personal experience with sobriety and counseling, he’s been able to guide his nonprofit Wild Courage and corresponding podcast in a way that speaks to others in similar situations.

“We have all these toxic behaviors that come out of all this pain that’s trapped inside,” Morris says. “I think at some level, we all feel like we’re alone in whatever it is we’re going through, and there’s something very hopeful and validating about hearing somebody verbalize something you’re experiencing that you thought you were the only one on the planet who was going through it. It’s validating to your pain, but also it’s hopeful, like, ‘Wow, that guy made it through it. Maybe I can.’”

#James Donaldson notes:Welcome to the “next chapter” of my life… being a voice and an advocate for #mentalhealthawarenessandsuicideprevention, especially pertaining to our younger generation of students and student-athletes.Getting men to speak up and reach out for help and assistance is one of my passions. Us men need to not suffer in silence or drown our sorrows in alcohol, hang out at bars and strip joints, or get involved with drug use.Having gone through a recent bout of #depression and #suicidalthoughts myself, I realize now, that I can make a huge difference in the lives of so many by sharing my story, and by sharing various resources I come across as I work in this space.  #http://bit.ly/JamesMentalHealthArticleFind out more about the work I do on my 501c3 non-profit foundationwebsite www.yourgiftoflife.org Order your copy of James Donaldson's latest book,#CelebratingYourGiftofLife: From The Verge of Suicide to a Life of Purpose and Joy

Click Here For More Information About James Donaldson

Click here to follow James Donaldson's Blog

It’s Time to Start Talking

While pushback is inevitable in any new venture, and especially one of controversy, those who feel called to this cause won’t be halted by negativity. Reichert admits their mission with the Outside Circle Show’s mental health panel wasn’t met with 100% support; some were both skeptical and averse to making waves within the community.

“The first year was rough. We didn’t know what it was going to be or how it was going to be perceived. Even this year, there were guys standing out in the hall laughing,” Reichert says. “But, if we can preserve some of the cowboy culture and keep it authentic and keep it real in the day and age of social media, I think that’s worthwhile. And, if we can do any good in the mental health community, if we help one person, it’d be worth it. I guess I can’t really let what people think of us stop us.”

Ultimately, in a world often caught up in the ego and pride of what it means to be cowboy, this group of men and women are breaking barriers. The cornerstone of their cause is love for their fellow cowboy, and it has created a safe space for their peers to gather and open their hearts to a new way of thinking and living.

“What if we had the courage to be seen and heard? To tell our stories that we thought we’d take to the grave?” Morris asks. “We create this narrative that if you really knew what’s happened to me or what I’ve done, I will be unaccepted and judged. We’ve learned that through our society and the shame that comes with some of these stories. But I’ve found that shame and vulnerability can’t coexist. These beautiful things start happening with men when they have a chance to be vulnerable and have a safe place to tell their story.”

Addiction rears its head in many ways. Some struggle with substance abuse while others are consumed with work, food or any number of vices. It’s a chronic, compulsive, physiological or psychological need for a habit-forming substance, behavior or activity that ultimately results in having a harmful effect on one’s life. But there’s light at the end of the tunnel.

“Life is so incredibly beautiful when you’re not looking through the haze of addiction,” Morris says. “I’m not saying it’s easy, but it’s worth it. And you’re worth it.” https://standingabovethecrowd.com/?p=16252