What parents can do when kids struggle with social skills

Writer: Rae Jacobson, MS

Clinical Experts: Jamie Howard, PhD , Mary Rooney, PhD , Rachel Busman, PsyD, ABPP

What You'll Learn

- Why is it hard for some kids to make friends?

- Can parents help kids make friends?

- What are social skills and social scripts?

- Quick Read

- Full Article

- Building social skills

- Practice during playdates

- Helping shy kids

- Every child is different

Friendships are important to children. If your kid is having a hard time fitting in, there are ways you can help your child make friends.

Social skills don’t come naturally to all kids, especially those with ADHD. Impulsive and hyperactive children often act in ways that make it hard to have friends. They can have trouble taking turns and controlling their anger when they don’t get their way. Inattentive kids may act flighty or not know how to join in.

You can help kids make friends by coaching them at home. Talk about taking turns and sharing. Try using role-playing to practice different ways to handle disagreements. You can also demonstrate good behavior when you talk to family and your own friends.

If your child needs more help, you can try “social scripts.” These are everyday conversations that your child can practice with you. They are especially helpful for children on the autism spectrum. Practicing will help them learn things like making eye contact and responding to other people’s moods. Your child’s doctor or behavioral therapist can help you select scripts and give you advice on how to rehearse them.

You can also set up playdates to help your kid make friends. Before the other child comes over, talk about what to do. Have your child pick out a few games and go over how to tell whether their guest is having fun.

If your child is shy, you can give them the chance to meet kids in a way that’s comfortable for them. This could be playdates at your house or through a club or activity.

And remember, kids need just one or two good friends. They don’t need to be the most popular kid in their class.

Every parent knows schoolyard friendships are important. Friends enrich our lives, boost our self-esteem, and provide the moral support we need when we’re memorizing multiplication tables. Developmentally speaking, making a friend in school is every bit as important as getting an A. Learning how to form successful peer relationships is a critical skill for kids, and one that they will be using — and refining — all their lives.

But some kids have a harder time fitting in. Cornerstones of childhood interaction, like sharing a toy or engaging in make-believe, might elude them. While parents can’t make friends for their children, they can help them develop and practice key social skills. If you see your child struggling to make friends or getting rejected by other kids, here are some steps you can take to help.

Building social skills

Social skills don’t come naturally to all kids. Impulsive and hyperactive children often act in ways that stymie their strong desire for friendship, notes Mary Rooney, PhD, a psychologist who has worked with many children with ADHD. They often have trouble taking turns and controlling their anger when they don’t get their way. More inattentive kids may act flighty or hover at the margins of playgroups, unsure of how to assert themselves.

If you notice that your child is struggling to interact with their peers, try some coaching at home. Emphasize taking turns and sharing during family playtime and explain that friends expect the same good behavior. Impulsive children will also benefit from practicing different strategies for settling peer conflict. Role playing can be very helpful here. Of course, as a parent you should also be careful to model good social behavior yourself when talking to family members and your own friends.

For kids who need more intensive guidance, experts suggest using “social scripts,” or simple everyday conversations that kids can practice with their parents. You can work with your child’s doctor or behavioral therapist to select appropriate scripts and develop a strategy for rehearsing and implementing them. Social scripts are especially helpful for children on the autism spectrum who need to deliberately learn key social skills, such as establishing eye contact and responding to the moods of others.

Finally, if your child has been having a hard time making friends, Dr. Rooney suggests setting up a meeting with their teacher. “Often kids will say ‘everyone hates me,’ but they may not be able to describe what’s going on.” Teachers can give a better sense of your child’s peer interactions and suggest more positive classmates for after-school playdates.

#James Donaldson notes:Welcome to the “next chapter” of my life… being a voice and an advocate for #mentalhealthawarenessandsuicideprevention, especially pertaining to our younger generation of students and student-athletes.Getting men to speak up and reach out for help and assistance is one of my passions. Us men need to not suffer in silence or drown our sorrows in alcohol, hang out at bars and strip joints, or get involved with drug use.Having gone through a recent bout of #depression and #suicidalthoughts myself, I realize now, that I can make a huge difference in the lives of so many by sharing my story, and by sharing various resources I come across as I work in this space.  #http://bit.ly/JamesMentalHealthArticleFind out more about the work I do on my 501c3 non-profit foundationwebsite www.yourgiftoflife.org Order your copy of James Donaldson's latest book,#CelebratingYourGiftofLife: From The Verge of Suicide to a Life of Purpose and Joy

Click Here For More Information About James Donaldson

Click here to follow James Donaldson's Blog

Practice during playdates

Supervised playdates are a great way for children to build their social muscles. Dr. Rooney suggests that parents spend some time before playdates reviewing social cues with their children. Some activities for playdate-prep include:

- Talk with your child about what it means to be a good host. What will your child do to make their guests feel comfortable?

- Have your child pick out a few games in advance. How will your child know when it’s time to move on to the next game?

- Ask your child how they’ll know if guests are having a good time. Are they smiling? Laughing?

As long as the children don’t veer into play that’s outright dangerous, let the playdate unfold as it may, recommends Jamie Howard, PhD, a clinical advisor to the Child Mind Institute. Children learn from the natural consequences of their actions, which is why it’s so important to let them practice socializing in a warm, supportive setting.

And when you review how it went, focus on the good behaviors you want to reinforce. “Kids are more motivated by praise than by avoiding criticism,” says Dr. Howard. “Specific, labeled praise is most helpful. Instead of ‘good job,’ say, ‘you shared very well with your friend.’”

Helping shy kids

Some kids are natural social butterflies while others need more time to warm up to new situations. Don’t worry if your child is a little more hesitant in social situations. Expecting every child to jump in and be the leader of the group isn’t realistic, so avoid pushing too hard. However, parents shouldn’t make the mistake of keeping more tentative kids at home, either. Rachel Busman, PsyD, a psychologist who works with anxious kids, explains, “There’s a difference between accommodating and enabling. For shyer kids we want to give them opportunities to meet new kids, but we want to help bridge the transition so they aren’t too uncomfortable.”

Dr. Busman suggests planning playdates at your house first, where your child will be most at ease. Clubs or other activities are also a good way to make friends because they provide built-in structure that helps minimize anxiety. If your child is reluctant to try something new, suggest inviting a friend they’re already comfortable with to join in. As with any social skill, parents can help shy kids rehearse ahead of time for a situation that makes them nervous, like going to a birthday party or meeting a new group of people.

Every child is different

Dr. Busman notes there is also a difference between children who are shy and children who are simply more introverted and prefer spending their down time reading or drawing by themselves. “Different children in the same family can have different social limits and degrees of comfort. A child who prefers quiet time or being in small groups isn’t necessarily avoiding other kids.” But it’s essential that more introverted children still get opportunities to make friends. Dr. Busman recommends knowing how much your child can handle and setting expectations accordingly. It’s enough for some kids to find just one thing they like to do once a week.

Finally, it’s important that parents not place too many of their own social expectations on children. Dr. Rooney advises keeping things in perspective. “Kids need just one or two good friends. You don’t have to worry about them being the most popular kid in their class.”

To learn more about helping kids make friends, watch our Thriving Kids podcast episode “How to Help Kids Build Positive, Healthy Friendships.” 

Frequently Asked Questions

How can you help your child make friends?

Parents can’t make friends for their kids, but you can help kids who are struggling to connect with other kids by helping them develop and practice key social skills. https://standingabovethecrowd.com/?p=16354

James Donaldson on Mental Health - Study shows rise in suicide rate among NFL players

By Maya Brownstein

For more than a decade, the Football Players Health Study at Harvard University (FPHS) has been conducting research on how a career in football impacts the long-term health and wellbeing of players and their families. The latest FPHS study, published Jan. 12 in the Journal of Neurotrauma, is on suicidality among National Football League (NFL) players, especially in the context of growing awareness of and attention on neurodegenerative disease and chronic traumatic encephalopathy (CTE). The study found that NFL players faced increased risk of suicide compared to their basketball and baseball counterparts, likely due to multiple factors including “copycat” effects from high-profile suicides, increased fears around CTE, and high rates of medical conditions whose symptoms can mimic those of CTE.

Below, the study’s lead authors—Rachel Grashow, senior research scientist at Harvard T.H. Chan School of Public Health and director of epidemiological research initiatives for the FPHS, and Marc Weisskopf, Cecil K. and Philip Drinker Professor of Environmental Epidemiology and Physiology and director of epidemiological studies for the FPHS—talk about their findings and why they instill senses of both caution and hope.

Q: What did you examine in this study?

Weisskopf: Recent high-profile suicides among NFL players have raised serious concerns about player health, wellbeing, and safety. Our study asks whether professional football players are different from other professional athletes when it comes to suicide. We’ve known for some time that suicide rates among male professional athletes, including NFL players, are lower than that of the general male population—but since these groups differ in many ways, we decided to focus exclusively on elite athletes and compare NFL players to their Major League Baseball (MLB) and National Basketball Association (NBA) counterparts.

Grashow: We were also interested in how suicide rates among NFL players may have changed over time. In recent years, conversations around head injury and neurodegenerative disease have shaped a collective narrative around football and health. We believe 2011 was a pivotal year for that conversation, when the publication of scientific studies on brain injury, neurodegenerative disease, and football accelerated. In particular, CTE—a neuropathological condition that is determined only through autopsy, and that cannot yet be diagnosed or treated in living patients—gained attention in a series of highly publicized research articles. There were also a number of high-profile deaths by suicide among some NFL players after 2010 that were discussed publicly.

This study asked whether NFL suicide was more likely from 2011 onwards, since CTE wasn’t as widely discussed prior to that, and we know from our previous research that there is a link between CTE concerns and suicidality. One of our previous FPHS studies, which used data from our cohort of nearly 5,000 former NFL players, showed that players with CTE concerns were more likely to report frequent thoughts of self-harm or killing themselves.

Q: How did you conduct this study and what did it find?

Weisskopf: We used publicly available playing data on all professional baseball, basketball, and football players going back to 1920 that included their names and dates of birth. That information was submitted to the U.S. National Death Index, who returned a list of deceased players along with their date and cause of death. We flagged the deaths by suicide in this list to determine the suicide rate across all the years studied—1979, when the U.S. started maintaining electronic death records, through 2019—as well as broken into two eras: 1979-2010 and 2011-2019.

Grashow: Similar to other studies of suicide among professional athletes, when we pooled all the data from 1979 to 2019, we saw a comparable rate of death by suicide among NFL, MLB, and NBA players.

When we split the data at 2011, we found that prior to 2011, NFL, MLB, and NBA players also had the same rate of death by suicide. From 2011 to 2019, however, we saw an almost threefold increase in suicide among NFL players when compared to these other professional athletes.

Q: What might account for this increase?

Weisskopf: We can’t say for sure from this study, but there are many possible contributing factors. While we did not find any rule-, policy-, or equipment-based changes that could account for the increase, these and other biological or exposure-based causes can’t be ruled out. It’s also possible that deaths among NFL players that would not have been classified as suicides by medical examiners prior to 2011 may have been labeled a suicide after 2010, as a result of greater awareness of issues related to head trauma. Additionally, high profile suicides have been known to cause a “copycat” or contagion effect called the Werther effect. More research is needed to determine the individual contributions of each of these factors.

Grashow: Previous research may lend additional relevant context. Similar to prior FPHS findings linking CTE concerns with thoughts of self-harm or suicide, studies have shown that individuals who have been diagnosed or believe themselves to be at risk for neurodegenerative disease such as Alzheimer’s disease, ALS, or Parkinson’s disease are at greater risk of suicide. Descriptions of these conditions as neurodegenerative diseases without cure—and, in the case of CTE, treatment—may be contributing to increased suicide rates, although, again, we cannot say for certain based on this study.

On a hopeful note, however, while some former players may indeed have the underlying brain changes associated with CTE, there are also other conditions commonly found in former NFL players that may result in symptoms frequently attributed to CTE, but that are treatable. A previous FPHS study showed that members of our cohort disproportionately report living with conditions that can cause cognitive symptoms—issues with memory, concentration, and impulsivity, for example—including sleep apnea, high blood pressure, low testosterone, chronic pain, depression, and opiate use. Players with these conditions and symptoms were more likely to think they had CTE. While these players may have the underlying brain pathology that characterizes CTE, some may not. We believe encouraging players to be proactive about their treatable conditions is worth emphasizing.

#James Donaldson notes:
Welcome to the “next chapter” of my life… being a voice and an advocate for #mentalhealthawarenessandsuicideprevention, especially pertaining to our younger generation of students and student-athletes.
Getting men to speak up and reach out for help and assistance is one of my passions. Us men need to not suffer in silence or drown our sorrows in alcohol, hang out at bars and strip joints, or get involved with drug use.
Having gone through a recent bout of #depression and #suicidalthoughts myself, I realize now, that I can make a huge difference in the lives of so many by sharing my story, and by sharing various resources I come across as I work in this space.  #http://bit.ly/JamesMentalHealthArticle
Find out more about the work I do on my 501c3 non-profit foundation
website www.yourgiftoflife.org Order your copy of James Donaldson's latest book,
#CelebratingYourGiftofLife: From The Verge of Suicide to a Life of Purpose and Joy

Click Here For More Information About James Donaldson

Click here to follow James Donaldson's Blog

Q: What are the study’s key takeaways—for players, their families, and the institutions responsible for their health and safety?

Grashow: We hope our findings motivate collective action among players, families, the NFL, and other organizations who support current and former players to address what may be preventable deaths. First and foremost, the sudden onset of increased suicide risk among NFL players should motivate increased screening, surveillance, and programming for former players related to depression, thoughts of self-harm, and suicide. Further, it may be beneficial for players, families, PCPs and sports medicine physicians, and other organizations that support former players to increase screening for conditions that may mimic symptoms attributed to CTE. Treatments are available for many of these conditions, with the potential to improve quality and length of life and, in so doing, reduce feelings of despair. These investments are important and warranted regardless of whether or not the increased attention and concern about head injury and brain effects are among the contributors to the higher NFL suicide rate.

Weisskopf: There’s still a lot we don’t know about CTE, and specifically how it may relate to enhanced suicide risk. Research to identify treatments and diagnostics should be prioritized. And while this research is ongoing, we really want to emphasize that cognitive symptoms don’t automatically indicate neurodegenerative disease. Rather, cognitive symptoms should motivate thorough screenings for all treatable conditions known to commonly occur in football players, as well as, it’s worth noting, anyone at risk of repetitive head injury, including military service people and players of other contact sports. We encourage these individuals, their families, and their physicians to prioritize treating what’s treatable, and to have open conversations about risks for self-harm and suicidal ideation.

https://standingabovethecrowd.com/james-donaldson-on-mental-health-study-shows-rise-in-suicide-rate-among-nfl-players/

James Donaldson on Mental Health - Stress-Relief Techniques: Finding What Works for You

In today's fast-paced world, stress has become an almost unavoidable part of life. Whether it's work pressure, family obligations, or financial concerns, the causes of stress are diverse and ever-present. Finding effective stress-relief techniques that work for you is essential for maintaining mental and physical well-being. Let's dive into some proven methods to help you combat stress and bring tranquility back into your life.

Table of Contents

1. Understanding Stress and Its Impact

2. Mindfulness and Meditation

3. Physical Exercise

4. Creative Outlets

5. Social Connections

6. Professional Help

7. Conclusion

8. FAQs

Understanding Stress and Its Impact

Before delving into stress-relief techniques, it’s crucial to understand what stress is and how it affects you. Stress is the body's response to any demand or threat, real or perceived. It triggers the "fight or flight" response, releasing hormones like adrenaline and cortisol.

While stress can sometimes provide the necessary push to meet deadlines or overcome challenges, chronic stress can lead to serious health issues, such as anxiety, depression, heart disease, and a weakened immune system. Recognizing the signs of stress and addressing them promptly is vital.

Mindfulness and Meditation

Mindfulness and meditation are powerful tools for stress relief that focus on bringing awareness to the present moment. By practicing mindfulness, you can reduce anxiety and improve emotional health. Meditation, in particular, helps calm the mind, providing a sense of peace and balance.

#James Donaldson notes:
Welcome to the “next chapter” of my life… being a voice and an advocate for #mentalhealthawarenessandsuicideprevention, especially pertaining to our younger generation of students and student-athletes.
Getting men to speak up and reach out for help and assistance is one of my passions. Us men need to not suffer in silence or drown our sorrows in alcohol, hang out at bars and strip joints, or get involved with drug use.
Having gone through a recent bout of #depression and #suicidalthoughts myself, I realize now, that I can make a huge difference in the lives of so many by sharing my story, and by sharing various resources I come across as I work in this space.  #http://bit.ly/JamesMentalHealthArticle
Find out more about the work I do on my 501c3 non-profit foundation
website www.yourgiftoflife.org Order your copy of James Donaldson's latest book,
#CelebratingYourGiftofLife: From The Verge of Suicide to a Life of Purpose and Joy

Click Here For More Information About James Donaldson

Click here to follow James Donaldson's Blog

Start with just a few minutes a day. Sit in a comfortable position, close your eyes, and focus on your breathing. Let your thoughts come and go without judgment. Over time, you'll find it easier to tune out distractions and find inner peace.

Physical Exercise

Exercise is a natural stress reliever that helps boost your mood by releasing endorphins, the body's natural painkillers. Whether it’s a brisk walk, a jog in the park, or a high-intensity workout, physical activity can significantly reduce stress levels.

You don’t have to become a gym enthusiast overnight. Start small by incorporating simple exercises into your routine, like stretching or yoga. Find an activity you enjoy, and it will be easier to make it a regular part of your life.

Creative Outlets

Engaging in creative activities can be a therapeutic way to manage stress. Whether it's painting, writing, playing an instrument, or crafting, these activities allow you to express yourself and channel your emotions into something positive.

Don’t worry about the end result; the process of creating is what matters. It’s a break from routine and a chance to explore your imagination, which can be incredibly refreshing and fulfilling.

Social Connections

Human beings are social creatures, and maintaining strong social connections is crucial for emotional well-being. Spending time with family and friends can provide support, laughter, and a fresh perspective on your problems.

Reach out to someone you trust when you're feeling overwhelmed. Sometimes, simply talking about your stressors can help lighten the load. Remember, you are not alone, and sharing your experiences can strengthen your bonds with others.

Professional Help

Sometimes, stress can be overwhelming, and professional help may be necessary. Therapists and counselors are trained to help you work through stress and develop coping strategies.

If you find that stress is affecting your daily life, don’t hesitate to seek professional support. Therapy can provide a safe space to explore your feelings and learn new ways to cope with stress.

Conclusion

Finding the right stress-relief technique is a personal journey. What works for one person may not work for another, so it’s important to explore different options and discover what best suits your needs. Remember, managing stress is not about eliminating it completely but about finding balance and creating a healthier lifestyle.

FAQs

Q: How long should I meditate to see results?

A: Even a few minutes a day can make a difference. Consistency is key, so aim for regular practice rather than long sessions.

Q: Can stress affect my physical health?

A: Yes, chronic stress can lead to health issues such as heart disease, high blood pressure, and a weakened immune system.

Q: What if none of these techniques work for me?

A: It's important to keep trying different methods and consider seeking professional help. Everyone is different, and finding the right approach may take time.

https://standingabovethecrowd.com/stress-relief-techniques-finding-what-works-for-you/

James Donaldson on Mental Health - The Impact of Seasonal Changes on Mental Health

The transformation from winter to spring, summer to autumn, or the swift shift from vibrant fall to the stark chill of winter can affect more than just our wardrobes. These seasonal changes also have a profound impact on our mental health. While some of us may relish the crisp autumn air or the blossoming flowers of spring, others may experience more complex emotional responses. Understanding how these seasonal shifts affect our mental well-being can help us navigate the year with greater awareness and ease.

Table of Contents

1. Introduction

2. Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD)

3. The Winter Blues

4. Spring Fever: Myth or Reality?

5. Coping Strategies for Seasonal Changes

6. Conclusion

7. FAQs

Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD)

One of the most well-documented impacts of seasonal change on mental health is Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD). SAD is a type of depression that occurs at a specific time of year, usually in the winter when daylight is scarce. Symptoms typically include a persistent low mood, loss of interest in usual activities, irritability, and feelings of despair.

Researchers believe that the lack of sunlight during the winter months plays a significant role in the onset of SAD. Reduced sunlight can disrupt your body's internal clock and lead to a drop in serotonin levels, which may trigger depression. Additionally, the change in season can affect melatonin levels, disrupting sleep patterns and mood.

The Winter Blues

Not everyone who feels down in winter suffers from SAD. Many people experience the "winter blues," a milder form of seasonal mood change. The winter blues can manifest as a general feeling of lethargy and sadness, which usually dissipates with the coming of spring.

#James Donaldson notes:
Welcome to the “next chapter” of my life… being a voice and an advocate for #mentalhealthawarenessandsuicideprevention, especially pertaining to our younger generation of students and student-athletes.
Getting men to speak up and reach out for help and assistance is one of my passions. Us men need to not suffer in silence or drown our sorrows in alcohol, hang out at bars and strip joints, or get involved with drug use.
Having gone through a recent bout of #depression and #suicidalthoughts myself, I realize now, that I can make a huge difference in the lives of so many by sharing my story, and by sharing various resources I come across as I work in this space.  #http://bit.ly/JamesMentalHealthArticle
Find out more about the work I do on my 501c3 non-profit foundation
website www.yourgiftoflife.org Order your copy of James Donaldson's latest book,
#CelebratingYourGiftofLife: From The Verge of Suicide to a Life of Purpose and Joy

Click Here For More Information About James Donaldson

Click here to follow James Donaldson's Blog

During the winter months, the combination of shorter days and longer nights can lead to decreased outdoor activity levels, contributing to feelings of isolation and decreased motivation. For those affected, finding ways to increase exposure to natural light and staying active can be beneficial.

Spring Fever: Myth or Reality?

As the days grow longer and the temperatures begin to rise, many people experience what is colloquially known as "spring fever." This term describes a surge in energy and vitality as the world awakens from winter's slumber.

While the concept of spring fever might sound like a myth, there is some scientific basis for this phenomenon. Increased sunlight can boost serotonin levels, improving mood and increasing energy, while warmer weather encourages people to spend more time outdoors, further enhancing well-being.

Coping Strategies for Seasonal Changes

Understanding the effects of seasonal changes on mental health allows us to develop strategies to better cope with these transitions. Here are some tips to maintain mental well-being throughout the year:

1. Maximize Sunlight Exposure

During the shorter days of fall and winter, make an effort to spend time outside during daylight hours. Even a short walk during lunch can help increase your exposure to natural light.

2. Maintain a Routine

A consistent daily routine can provide stability and a sense of control. This can be particularly helpful during the darker months when motivation levels might dip.

3. Stay Active

Regular physical activity is a powerful mood booster. Whether it's a brisk walk, yoga, or a dance class, find an activity that you enjoy and can stick with throughout the year.

4. Seek Social Support

Maintaining social connections is crucial for mental health. Reach out to friends and family, join a club, or participate in community events to stay connected.

5. Consider Light Therapy

For those with SAD, light therapy can be an effective treatment. This involves sitting near a special light box that mimics natural sunlight, which can help alleviate symptoms.

Conclusion

Seasonal changes can have a profound impact on our mental health, influencing mood, energy levels, and overall well-being. By understanding these effects and implementing strategies to cope with them, we can navigate the seasons with greater resilience and peace of mind. Whether you’re facing the winter blues or enjoying a burst of spring energy, acknowledging and addressing these changes can lead to a healthier, more balanced life.

FAQs

Q: Can seasonal changes affect everyone the same way?

A: No, the impact of seasonal changes on mental health can vary greatly from person to person. Factors such as genetics, lifestyle, and personal circumstances can all influence how one responds to seasonal shifts.

Q: Is light therapy safe for everyone?

A: Light therapy is generally considered safe, but it’s always best to consult with a healthcare professional before starting any new treatment, especially if you have conditions like bipolar disorder, which may be affected by light exposure.

Q: Can diet affect how I respond to seasonal changes?

A: Yes, diet can play a role in mood regulation. Eating a balanced diet rich in fruits, vegetables, lean proteins, and whole grains can support overall mental health and help manage mood changes associated with different seasons.

https://standingabovethecrowd.com/the-impact-of-seasonal-changes-on-mental-health/

By Maya Brownstein

For more than a decade, the Football Players Health Study at Harvard University (FPHS) has been conducting research on how a career in football impacts the long-term health and wellbeing of players and their families. The latest FPHS study, published Jan. 12 in the Journal of Neurotrauma, is on suicidality among National Football League (NFL) players, especially in the context of growing awareness of and attention on neurodegenerative disease and chronic traumatic encephalopathy (CTE). The study found that NFL players faced increased risk of suicide compared to their basketball and baseball counterparts, likely due to multiple factors including “copycat” effects from high-profile suicides, increased fears around CTE, and high rates of medical conditions whose symptoms can mimic those of CTE.

Below, the study’s lead authors—Rachel Grashow, senior research scientist at Harvard T.H. Chan School of Public Health and director of epidemiological research initiatives for the FPHS, and Marc Weisskopf, Cecil K. and Philip Drinker Professor of Environmental Epidemiology and Physiology and director of epidemiological studies for the FPHS—talk about their findings and why they instill senses of both caution and hope.

Q: What did you examine in this study?

Weisskopf: Recent high-profile suicides among NFL players have raised serious concerns about player health, wellbeing, and safety. Our study asks whether professional football players are different from other professional athletes when it comes to suicide. We’ve known for some time that suicide rates among male professional athletes, including NFL players, are lower than that of the general male population—but since these groups differ in many ways, we decided to focus exclusively on elite athletes and compare NFL players to their Major League Baseball (MLB) and National Basketball Association (NBA) counterparts.

Grashow: We were also interested in how suicide rates among NFL players may have changed over time. In recent years, conversations around head injury and neurodegenerative disease have shaped a collective narrative around football and health. We believe 2011 was a pivotal year for that conversation, when the publication of scientific studies on brain injury, neurodegenerative disease, and football accelerated. In particular, CTE—a neuropathological condition that is determined only through autopsy, and that cannot yet be diagnosed or treated in living patients—gained attention in a series of highly publicized research articles. There were also a number of high-profile deaths by suicide among some NFL players after 2010 that were discussed publicly.

This study asked whether NFL suicide was more likely from 2011 onwards, since CTE wasn’t as widely discussed prior to that, and we know from our previous research that there is a link between CTE concerns and suicidality. One of our previous FPHS studies, which used data from our cohort of nearly 5,000 former NFL players, showed that players with CTE concerns were more likely to report frequent thoughts of self-harm or killing themselves.

Q: How did you conduct this study and what did it find?

Weisskopf: We used publicly available playing data on all professional baseball, basketball, and football players going back to 1920 that included their names and dates of birth. That information was submitted to the U.S. National Death Index, who returned a list of deceased players along with their date and cause of death. We flagged the deaths by suicide in this list to determine the suicide rate across all the years studied—1979, when the U.S. started maintaining electronic death records, through 2019—as well as broken into two eras: 1979-2010 and 2011-2019.

Grashow: Similar to other studies of suicide among professional athletes, when we pooled all the data from 1979 to 2019, we saw a comparable rate of death by suicide among NFL, MLB, and NBA players.

When we split the data at 2011, we found that prior to 2011, NFL, MLB, and NBA players also had the same rate of death by suicide. From 2011 to 2019, however, we saw an almost threefold increase in suicide among NFL players when compared to these other professional athletes.

Q: What might account for this increase?

Weisskopf: We can’t say for sure from this study, but there are many possible contributing factors. While we did not find any rule-, policy-, or equipment-based changes that could account for the increase, these and other biological or exposure-based causes can’t be ruled out. It’s also possible that deaths among NFL players that would not have been classified as suicides by medical examiners prior to 2011 may have been labeled a suicide after 2010, as a result of greater awareness of issues related to head trauma. Additionally, high profile suicides have been known to cause a “copycat” or contagion effect called the Werther effect. More research is needed to determine the individual contributions of each of these factors.

Grashow: Previous research may lend additional relevant context. Similar to prior FPHS findings linking CTE concerns with thoughts of self-harm or suicide, studies have shown that individuals who have been diagnosed or believe themselves to be at risk for neurodegenerative disease such as Alzheimer’s disease, ALS, or Parkinson’s disease are at greater risk of suicide. Descriptions of these conditions as neurodegenerative diseases without cure—and, in the case of CTE, treatment—may be contributing to increased suicide rates, although, again, we cannot say for certain based on this study.

On a hopeful note, however, while some former players may indeed have the underlying brain changes associated with CTE, there are also other conditions commonly found in former NFL players that may result in symptoms frequently attributed to CTE, but that are treatable. A previous FPHS study showed that members of our cohort disproportionately report living with conditions that can cause cognitive symptoms—issues with memory, concentration, and impulsivity, for example—including sleep apnea, high blood pressure, low testosterone, chronic pain, depression, and opiate use. Players with these conditions and symptoms were more likely to think they had CTE. While these players may have the underlying brain pathology that characterizes CTE, some may not. We believe encouraging players to be proactive about their treatable conditions is worth emphasizing.

#James Donaldson notes:Welcome to the “next chapter” of my life… being a voice and an advocate for #mentalhealthawarenessandsuicideprevention, especially pertaining to our younger generation of students and student-athletes.Getting men to speak up and reach out for help and assistance is one of my passions. Us men need to not suffer in silence or drown our sorrows in alcohol, hang out at bars and strip joints, or get involved with drug use.Having gone through a recent bout of #depression and #suicidalthoughts myself, I realize now, that I can make a huge difference in the lives of so many by sharing my story, and by sharing various resources I come across as I work in this space.  #http://bit.ly/JamesMentalHealthArticleFind out more about the work I do on my 501c3 non-profit foundationwebsite www.yourgiftoflife.org Order your copy of James Donaldson's latest book,#CelebratingYourGiftofLife: From The Verge of Suicide to a Life of Purpose and Joy

Click Here For More Information About James Donaldson

Click here to follow James Donaldson's Blog

Q: What are the study’s key takeaways—for players, their families, and the institutions responsible for their health and safety?

Grashow: We hope our findings motivate collective action among players, families, the NFL, and other organizations who support current and former players to address what may be preventable deaths. First and foremost, the sudden onset of increased suicide risk among NFL players should motivate increased screening, surveillance, and programming for former players related to depression, thoughts of self-harm, and suicide. Further, it may be beneficial for players, families, PCPs and sports medicine physicians, and other organizations that support former players to increase screening for conditions that may mimic symptoms attributed to CTE. Treatments are available for many of these conditions, with the potential to improve quality and length of life and, in so doing, reduce feelings of despair. These investments are important and warranted regardless of whether or not the increased attention and concern about head injury and brain effects are among the contributors to the higher NFL suicide rate.

Weisskopf: There’s still a lot we don’t know about CTE, and specifically how it may relate to enhanced suicide risk. Research to identify treatments and diagnostics should be prioritized. And while this research is ongoing, we really want to emphasize that cognitive symptoms don’t automatically indicate neurodegenerative disease. Rather, cognitive symptoms should motivate thorough screenings for all treatable conditions known to commonly occur in football players, as well as, it’s worth noting, anyone at risk of repetitive head injury, including military service people and players of other contact sports. We encourage these individuals, their families, and their physicians to prioritize treating what’s treatable, and to have open conversations about risks for self-harm and suicidal ideation. https://standingabovethecrowd.com/?p=16352

James Donaldson on Mental Health - What to Do When Your Child Is Being Bullied — and Won’t Talk About It

Tips on signs to look for, when to intervene, and when not to

Writer: Juliann Garey

Clinical Experts: Megan Ice, PhD , Stephanie Ruggiero, PsyD

Key Takeaways

- Sudden changes in mood, sleep, or school habits can be early signs your child is being bullied — even if they say everything’s fine.
- Many kids stay silent about bullying because they’re scared, embarrassed, or worried that speaking up will only make things worse.
- Kids are more likely to open up when parents stay calm, listen, and validate their feelings, rather than jumping in to fix the problem right away
- Spotting signs of bullying when kids don’t talk
- Reasons your child might not want to talk
- Creating space for conversation
- What to do if they still won’t talk
- When to involve your child’s school — and when not to
- Tips for talking to the school
- Helping your child respond to bullying

Bullying is something we hope won’t happen to our kids — or if it does, that they’ll come to us right away. But sometimes kids don’t tell us. They may be embarrassed, afraid it will get worse if they “snitch,” or worried we’ll overreact and make things worse. Maybe your once-outgoing child suddenly wants to stay home from school or your teen seems anxious every time a notification buzzes on their phone. You know something’s going on, but they insist everything is fine.

Before acting, it helps to know what counts as bullying. Not every unkind moment between kids rises to that level. Stephanie Ruggiero, PsyD, a clinical psychologist at the Child Mind Institute, says bullying has three defining features: It’s intentional, it’s repeated, and there’s a power imbalance — meaning the child doing the bullying has more social, physical, or emotional power. (You can read more on what’s bullying and what’s not.)

Spotting signs of bullying when kids don’t talk

Parents are often the first to notice that something is wrong, even when their child insists everything is fine. Dr. Ruggiero says to watch for:

- Physical complaints: Stomachaches, headaches, or other ailments that pop up before school
- Avoidance: Refusing to go to school, skipping activities, or faking illness
- Changes in mood: Becoming irritable, withdrawn, or unusually anxious
- Sleep issues: Nightmares, bedwetting, or trouble falling asleep
- Missing or damaged belongings: Unexplained broken glasses, lost electronics, or ripped clothing

When bullying happens online, look for:

- Hiding phones or slamming laptops shut when you walk in the room
- Sudden deletion of social media accounts or creation of new ones
- Blocking numbers or removing friends
- Extreme emotional reactions — anger, tears, panic — after a notification
- Dramatic increases or decreases in screen time

“Those changes in behavior are your clues,” Dr. Ruggiero says. “If you notice patterns that aren’t typical for your child, trust your gut.” Imagine, for example, that your eighth grader suddenly starts asking to stay home from school and spends hours scrolling on their phone, only to come away in tears. These patterns can be unsettling, and they’re often the first clue something is happening beneath the surface.

Reasons your child might not want to talk

Megan Ice, PhD, a psychologist in the Mood Disorders Center at the Child Mind Institute, says that understanding why kids stay silent is often the key to helping them open up. “Before doing anything,” she says, “I try to clarify what’s actually happening — and help parents manage their own anxiety so they can just listen and validate, not jump into problem-solving right away. Sometimes that’s enough to give the child space to talk.”

Kids’ reasons for staying quiet vary widely:

- Fear the situation will get worse: Many kids have seen or experienced school interventions that backfired — for example, being labeled a “snitch,” or having their class schedule or lunch period changed in ways that make them feel singled out.
- Shame or embarrassment: Boys, Dr. Ice notes, often feel pressure to act like they don’t care. Kids teased about personal or private issues — like hygiene, bedwetting, or body image — may feel too humiliated to talk.
- Fear of consequences: Sometimes kids keep quiet because they’ve broken a rule. “If a child was bullied after sharing a nude photo or cheating on a test, they might fear punishment as much as the bullying itself,” Dr. Ice says.
- Worry about burdening parents: Some kids hesitate to bring problems home because they sense their parents are stressed. Others don’t want to make their parents feel guilty or upset.

“Identifying what’s keeping a child silent helps parents approach them with empathy,” Dr. Ice says.

Creating space for conversation

When you suspect something is wrong, your first instinct might be to press for answers — but pushing too hard can backfire. “The goal is to make it safe for your child to share,” Dr. Ruggiero says. “That starts with being calm, present, and curious.” Here are ways to encourage conversation with your child that may make them open up more easily:

- Use open-ended questions: Skip yes-or-no questions. Instead try, “If your teacher called me, what would they say about your day?”
- Validate feelings: Say things like, “That sounds really frustrating,” or “I can see why that made you sad.”
- Get creative: For younger kids, watch their play for clues. Pretend games can give hints of what’s happening at school. “If their dolls or action figures start acting out mean behavior,” Dr. Ice explains, “that can open the door for gentle questions like, ‘That sounded unkind — does that ever happen at school?’”
- Read together: Books can be a gentle way to help little kids understand and talk about bullying. The Child Mind Institute has a list of clinician-recommended books on bullying. Dr. Ruggiero also recommends checking out the American Psychological Association’s Magination Press, which publishes psychologist-written books for kids on a range of topics. You can search their site by topic and age group to find books that fit your child’s needs.
- Communicate through writing: Older kids who struggle with verbal expression might be more comfortable writing you a note, sending a text, or even using a simple emoji to show how they feel. 
- Take advantage of side-by-side moments: Talk in the car, while walking the dog, or during another low-pressure activity. This works especially well with tweens and teens who may be hesitant to let parents in.

Avoid overreacting, panicking, interrupting and/or rushing them, or minimizing their experience. “If parents stay calm, it shows kids they can handle hard news,” Dr. Ruggiero says. “That makes kids much more likely to come to you again.”

What to do if they still won’t talk

If your child continues to shut down despite your efforts, Dr. Ice says the next step depends on what you’re seeing. “If there’s concrete evidence — like hurtful messages, damaged belongings, or visible injuries — it’s worth bringing in support,” she says. “Often the school counselor is the best first call, because they know the teachers, the social dynamics, and can quietly monitor what’s happening day-to-day.”

If your child refuses to meet with a counselor at school — maybe because they’re worried about confidentiality or being seen in that office — an outside therapist can help. “Therapy gives kids a private space to process what’s happening,” Dr. Ice adds, “and can still include coordination with the school.”

With younger children, the classroom teacher might be the right starting point, since that teacher sees all of their interactions. In middle and high school, the counselor usually has the best overview of what’s happening across classes and social settings.

When to involve your child’s school — and when not to

Many parents might be surprised to hear that involving the school may not always be the best solution for their child. “I’m often cautious about contacting schools without the child’s explicit permission, especially for middle or high schoolers,” Dr. Ice says. “If they don’t feel part of the plan, it can make things worse.”

Dr. Ice says that sometimes the child is open to limited communication with the school — for instance, agreeing to ask for more supervision at recess or using a different bathroom if that’s where the bullying happens.

Dr. Ice adds that a good rule of thumb is to involve the school when there’s a clear safety risk, repeated targeting, or when the bullying affects your child’s functioning — but to proceed more cautiously when it’s a one-time social conflict or when your child strongly resists.

“It also helps to stay curious,” Dr. Ice explains. “Sometimes parents only hear one side, and it turns out their child is doing something — like humming or joking constantly — that’s irritating peers. The goal isn’t to blame them, but to understand the full picture so you can plan the right response.”

Tips for talking to the school

When you do contact the school, frame the conversation as collaborative: You’re working together to solve a problem, not pointing fingers. Share the facts you’ve gathered, bring any screenshots or documentation, and ask what steps they can take to keep your child safe.

“If the situation doesn’t improve, escalate gradually — from teacher, to counselor, to principal, to superintendent, if necessary,” Dr. Ruggiero says. “And know your school’s anti-bullying policy so you can reference it when you’re asking for help.” Remember that schools are still responsible for addressing bullying that happens off-campus if it affects a child’s ability to learn or feel safe at school.

#James Donaldson notes:
Welcome to the “next chapter” of my life… being a voice and an advocate for #mentalhealthawarenessandsuicideprevention, especially pertaining to our younger generation of students and student-athletes.
Getting men to speak up and reach out for help and assistance is one of my passions. Us men need to not suffer in silence or drown our sorrows in alcohol, hang out at bars and strip joints, or get involved with drug use.
Having gone through a recent bout of #depression and #suicidalthoughts myself, I realize now, that I can make a huge difference in the lives of so many by sharing my story, and by sharing various resources I come across as I work in this space.  #http://bit.ly/JamesMentalHealthArticle
Find out more about the work I do on my 501c3 non-profit foundation
website www.yourgiftoflife.org Order your copy of James Donaldson's latest book,
#CelebratingYourGiftofLife: From The Verge of Suicide to a Life of Purpose and Joy

Click Here For More Information About James Donaldson

Click here to follow James Donaldson's Blog

Helping your child respond to bullying

Parents often struggle to know when to step in and when to let kids handle things themselves. “If your child’s safety is at risk, if the bullying is persistent, or if they ask for help — you step in,” Dr. Ruggiero says. “For more typical social conflicts, you can coach from the sidelines, offering ideas and encouragement while letting them practice handling things on their own.”

When helping a child plan their own response to bullies, Dr. Ice suggests walking through real-life situations together. “If they’re worried about lunchtime, talk about where they’ll sit, who they can join, and what they’ll do if someone whispers or posts something unkind. Having that script in mind — even simple phrases like ‘I don’t want to talk about that’ — makes it easier to cope in real time.”

Shifting a child’s response can sometimes make a difference. “If we can help a child respond more neutrally instead of with tears or anger, it often takes away the payoff for the bully,” she explains. For example, if a child tends to cry or lash out, have them practice staying calm and asking for a bathroom break so they can regroup. “Or, she says, they can simply turn and walk away. It’s not about pretending not to care — it’s about learning to manage those big feelings in a private, safer space so the bully doesn’t get that reaction they’re looking for.”

Dr. Ice sums it up this way: “The best approach depends on your child’s readiness. The more we include them in decisions and problem-solving, the more empowered they feel — and that confidence is often what ultimately reduces the bullying.”

Frequently Asked Questions

How can I tell if my child is being bullied if they won’t talk about it?

Watch for changes that don’t fit your child’s usual patterns — like frequent stomachaches before school, damaged belongings, sleep issues, or mood shifts. Kids who are bullied online might hide their phones, delete social media accounts, or react emotionally to notifications. Trust your instincts if something feels off.

What are my options if the school ignores bullying reports?

How do I encourage my child to open up about bullying?

Can bullying affect a child long-term if it isn’t addressed?

https://standingabovethecrowd.com/james-donaldson-on-mental-health-what-to-do-when-your-child-is-being-bullied-and-wont-talk-about-it/

James Donaldson on Mental Health - What Is Social and Emotional Learning?

How SEL programs help kids succeed in school

Photo by Pragyan Bezbaruah on Pexels.com

Writer: Jessica Souza

Clinical Experts: LaKisha Hoffman, MSW , Caroline Mendel, PsyD

What You'll Learn

- What is SEL?
- What are the basic components of SEL?
- Why is SEL beneficial to children?
- Quick Read
- Full Article
- What are the basic social-emotional skills?
- Why is SEL beneficial for children?
- What does SEL look like in the classroom?
- How can parents support their child with SEL at home?
- What to do if you think your child needs additional SEL support

Social and emotional learning (SEL) is a term for the way children acquire social and emotional skills. It includes things like managing difficult emotions, making responsible decisions, handling stress, setting goals, and building healthy relationships.

When children lack the skills to manage their emotions and make good decisions, they often get in trouble at school. That’s why many schools teach SEL. Studies show that SEL positively affects students’ success in school and life.

SEL has five main skills: self-awareness, social awareness, responsible decision-making, self-management, and relationship skills. Specific topics that schools often teach include identifying feelings, considering other people’s perspectives, and brainstorming solutions to problems.

SEL at school usually includes both lessons on these skills and lots of daily practice. For example, a teacher might lead a lesson on conflict resolution. Then, when a conflict between students comes up, the teacher coaches them through it using the skills from the lesson.

Parents can also help kids build SEL skills at home by helping kids identify their feelings and learn to manage them. If a child is struggling with social-emotional skills, individualized support at school can help. And if they have an underlying mental health challenge, professional treatment may be necessary.

Social and emotional learning (SEL) is a term for the way children acquire social and emotional skills. It includes things like managing difficult emotions, making responsible decisions, handling stress, setting goals, and building healthy relationships.

Social and emotional learning is often assumed to happen naturally in the course of a child’s development without being taught. But when children don’t master these skills, they often develop behavior problems that, in turn, can interfere with their functioning in school and their ability to learn.

That’s why programs that teach social and emotional skills are now taught in many schools, from pre-kindergarten all the way through high school.

“When kids don’t know math, we teach them math — we don’t punish them for not knowing how to do math,” explains LaKisha Hoffman, MSW, a social worker and a Senior Director of School and Community Programs at the Child Mind Institute. “But when kids don’t know how to regulate themselves, we punish them for misbehavior.”

Instead, she says, we want to teach kids the skills they’re missing — to fill those gaps so they’ll be able to manage their emotions, get along with other kids, and succeed in school.

“These are not things that humans naturally just know,” adds Caroline Mendel, PsyD, a clinical psychologist who works in schools. “They do need some explicit instruction and then ongoing reinforcement.”

What are the basic social-emotional skills?

One widely used framework for SEL is the CASEL framework, named for an organization that introduced the term SEL over two decades ago. (CASEL stands for the Collaborative for Academic, Social, and Emotional Learning.) 

According to the CASEL framework, there are five interrelated areas of competence that make up SEL:

- Self-awareness: The ability to identify and recognize one’s own emotions and thoughts and understand how they impact behavior.
- Social awareness: Having empathy and respect for others and the ability to take on different perspectives.
- Responsible decision-making: The ability to make ethical, constructive choices about personal behavior and social interactions. 
- Self-management: Being able to manage one’s emotions and impulses, manage stress, and set personal goals.
- Relationship skills: Having the capacity to establish and maintain healthy, supportive relationships.

Why is SEL beneficial for children?

It’s been shown that SEL can help children feel more confident and happy in the classroom and in life in general. Research shows that SEL consistently has positive effects on students’ success — from their academic performance and behavior to their ability to manage stress.

Other research has shown that these long-term benefits are consistent across demographic groups — meaning that SEL instruction can support the positive development of children from diverse backgrounds and geographies.

There is also evidence that SEL supports educational equity and classroom inclusivity.  “When I talk to parents and school leaders,” Hoffman adds, “it’s clear that another benefit they see from students engaging in SEL is a sense of belonging.”

What does SEL look like in the classroom?

Educators usually integrate SEL into their curricula through both explicit instruction on the competencies and, equally importantly, through ongoing reinforcement of these skills.

Explicit SEL instruction might include lessons on how to identify and label your feelings, build your emotional vocabulary, consider other people’s perspectives and experiences, and brainstorm solutions to problems.

But then, the key to effectively teaching SEL competencies is reinforcing these lessons every day in the classroom. “It’s not about a standalone activity,” explains Dr. Mendel. “It’s about having a school culture that’s committed to engaging in social-emotional learning — where it’s infused into every day, with repetition of the lessons and skills.”

For example, while teaching children a lesson on conflict resolution is important, so is coaching them through conflicts when they happen in real time — reinforcing those skills and giving them a place to practice them.

“It’s not always activity-based,” Hoffman says. “It’s thinking about what skills they need to know and how to engage in conversations about them. When they’re doing things that cause harm to other people, you’re practicing, ‘How did that make someone else feel?’ to build empathy. It’s taking the times that they don’t do things right as teaching moments.”

SEL programs in schools are often structured across three tiers based on children’s needs. Tier one is the standard program, taught to all students, with the aim of helping them develop the competencies and prevent behavioral or emotional problems from developing. Tier two is for children who haven’t responded to tier one and show some signs of risk, such as behavioral issues, social difficulties, or academic struggles. Tier three is for students who require more intensive support, potentially through individualized counseling or a behavior intervention plan.

For parents interested in learning more specifics about how evidence-based school programs are rooted in research, the CASEL website provides a lot of information on SEL in the classroom.

How can parents support their child with SEL at home?

Parents are their child’s first teachers, and how they model and reinforce SEL competencies at home is essential to kids’ social-emotional development. And if they work in partnership, families, and schools can learn from each other about what works best for each individual child.

“I think the partnership between parents and schools is really important,” Hoffman says. “There are skills that students are learning in school that they can apply at home, and there are things at home that are working really well for parents — that they may not even define as an SEL skill — that they can communicate with teachers.”

For example, a parent could share with the teacher that taking a moment to meditate or focus on deep breaths helps their child handle emotions at home and see if there’s a way to integrate that practice into the classroom when needed.

“We have to really value the expertise of the home, as well as the school,” concludes Hoffman.

For resources on supporting social-emotional development at home, the site Confident Parents Confident Kids has a lot of helpful books, games, and more.

#James Donaldson notes:
Welcome to the “next chapter” of my life… being a voice and an advocate for #mentalhealthawarenessandsuicideprevention, especially pertaining to our younger generation of students and student-athletes.
Getting men to speak up and reach out for help and assistance is one of my passions. Us men need to not suffer in silence or drown our sorrows in alcohol, hang out at bars and strip joints, or get involved with drug use.
Having gone through a recent bout of #depression and #suicidalthoughts myself, I realize now, that I can make a huge difference in the lives of so many by sharing my story, and by sharing various resources I come across as I work in this space.  #http://bit.ly/JamesMentalHealthArticle
Find out more about the work I do on my 501c3 non-profit foundation
website www.yourgiftoflife.org Order your copy of James Donaldson's latest book,
#CelebratingYourGiftofLife: From The Verge of Suicide to a Life of Purpose and Joy

Click Here For More Information About James Donaldson

Click here to follow James Donaldson's Blog

What to do if you think your child needs additional SEL support

If you think your child is struggling with social-emotional competencies, the first step is to start a conversation with their teacher about evaluating their progress and considering if they need additional SEL support.

“It’s great for all kids to get SEL instruction — these are skills that will help them be successful in their lives,” explains Dr. Mendel. “But in terms of whether they might need more than what they’re getting, we’d look at how they’re functioning. How are they doing academically — is there a decline in their grades? How are they getting along socially with peers — are they getting into frequent conflict? Are they able to manage frustration, sadness, or anxiety in a way that doesn’t get in the way of their life?”

If they’re struggling with behavior or academics, getting counseling at school or setting up a behavior intervention plan may help. It’s also important to consider whether there are underlying issues affecting your child’s behavior, Dr. Mendel notes. For example, if a child is depressed and that’s making them irritable, they may lash out at other kids, and their behavior can be confused with simply lacking basic relationship skills. Or if they have ADHD, impulsivity may make it very challenging for them to manage their emotions. Getting treatment from a mental health professional for those challenges may be what your child needs to thrive.

What if you would like to see your child’s school give more priority to SEL overall? There are ways to advocate for it within your school.

“I think the best way to advocate for it in a school is to show the research and the link to improved academics,” advises Dr. Mendel. “Unfortunately, sometimes social-emotional needs can come in second because schools focus on how kids are doing academically. I think showing how the two really go hand in hand and how SEL can be effective in helping schools in the business of teaching — that’s a good way to do that advocacy.”

The CASEL website provides a great deal of additional support on how to make the case for SEL.

Frequently Asked Questions

What is social emotional learning in the classroom?

What is social and emotional learning?

Social and emotional learning (SEL) is a term for the way children acquire social and emotional skills. It includes things like managing difficult emotions, making responsible decisions, handling stress, setting goals, and building healthy relationships.

What happens when kids lack social and emotional learning?

How can parents help with social-emotional learning at home?

Photo by Pragyan Bezbaruah on Pexels.com https://standingabovethecrowd.com/james-donaldson-on-mental-health-what-is-social-and-emotional-learning/