James Donaldson on Mental Health - Many of those who died by suicide showed warning signs like mood changes in week before death: IMH

Summary

- IMH's study (2021-2024) found increased warning signs like mood changes and recklessness in the week before suicides in Singapore.
- Those who died by suicide were more likely to have a history of suicide attempts and unusual social media posts.
- Common factors among those who died by suicide included family mental illness history and insomnia.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zqk9VKK1SBs

SINGAPORE – Individuals who died by suicide showed warning signs such as mood changes, anger and recklessness in the week before their demise, a new study by the Institute of Mental Health (IMH) has found.

They were also more likely than the general population to post content on social media before their death that was out of the ordinary, and to have a history of suicide attempts.

Based on the findings, IMH said there is a need for greater mental health literacy in Singapore so that family members, friends and communities can better recognise the warnings signs and intervene early.

The study, titled Seeking Answers: A Psychological Autopsy Of Exploring And Analysing Risk Factors, is the first in Singapore to use the psychological autopsy method.

This involves a detailed examination of the life and state of mind of the person who died based on information from those who survived the individual, such as family members, close friends and care providers. It identified key factors associated with suicides in Singapore and warning signs that families and friends can look out for. The aim is to get a good idea of an individual’s circumstances, personality and health to understand what could have led to their death.

Researchers conducted interviews with people close to 73 individuals who died by suicide between 2021 and 2024. The team also selected 73 individuals from the general population as a control group to serve as a baseline for what is typical.

Through the interviews and comparisons, the study identified possible unique factors associated with suicide. The suicide cases showed more warning signs drawn from the 10 identified by the American Association of Suicidology: ideation, substance abuse, purposelessness, anxiety, feeling trapped, hopelessness, withdrawal, anger, recklessness and mood changes.

Around 40 per cent of the cases studied had previous suicide attempts, with more than a quarter of them having made an attempt in the year before their death.

Stressing the need for greater mental health literacy, IMH said in a statement on Sept 17 that survivors of the person who died by suicide said they were unable to distinguish stress from serious mental health conditions like depression or psychosis. This led to delayed seeking of treatment.

They focused on alleviating the stressor, but did not fully understand the importance of professional treatment and did not insist that the person seek care.

Among those who lost an older adult to suicide, the mental health problems were often overlooked if the person was already receiving treatment for other medical conditions like pain.

Professor Chong Siow Ann, a senior consultant at IMH’s research division and department of psychosis, said: “Warning signs such as withdrawal, hopelessness or mood changes can sometimes be subtle or mistaken for normal stress. It is not always straightforward, but this means that there were opportunities to notice changes if people around them were aware of what to look for.”

With better mental health literacy, families, teachers, employers and peers can become more confident in recognising when something is amiss and intervening early, he added.

A common misconception is that talking about suicide might put the idea into someone’s head, Prof Chong noted. Research has shown this is not the case, he said.

“On the contrary, suicidal thoughts often exist long before they are expressed and not talking about it risks isolating them further,” he said. He added that if a loved one seems withdrawn, hopeless, unusually anxious, or expresses thoughts of being a burden, that is the moment to reach out.

#James Donaldson notes:
Welcome to the “next chapter” of my life… being a voice and an advocate for #mentalhealthawarenessandsuicideprevention, especially pertaining to our younger generation of students and student-athletes.
Getting men to speak up and reach out for help and assistance is one of my passions. Us men need to not suffer in silence or drown our sorrows in alcohol, hang out at bars and strip joints, or get involved with drug use.
Having gone through a recent bout of #depression and #suicidalthoughts myself, I realize now, that I can make a huge difference in the lives of so many by sharing my story, and by sharing various resources I come across as I work in this space.  #http://bit.ly/JamesMentalHealthArticle
Find out more about the work I do on my 501c3 non-profit foundation
website www.yourgiftoflife.org Order your copy of James Donaldson's latest book,
#CelebratingYourGiftofLife: From The Verge of Suicide to a Life of Purpose and Joy

Click Here For More Information About James Donaldson

“Doing so gives relief, validates their pain and creates space for connection.”

Reaching out can then be followed up with concrete steps such as encouraging professional help, connecting them to hotlines or community resources, or simply getting them to stay present, he added.

The study also identified other common factors in the 73 cases of suicides. The cases were more likely to have a family history of mental illness than the members of the control group.

More than half of the cases of suicide were reported to have functional limitations in the month before their death, indicating they had trouble performing work or other activities. They were also more likely to experience insomnia in the weeks before their death.

In terms of lifestyle factors, those who died by suicide were more likely to drink frequently and smoke than the control group.

More than 70 per cent of the suicide cases had been diagnosed with a mental health condition, with major depressive disorder being the most common.

Around 30 per cent of the individuals were unemployed in the past year.

Associate Professor Mythily Subramaniam, who is the principal investigator of the study and assistant chairman of IMH’s medical board for research, said that one of the most important messages from the study is the need for open, honest conversations about suicide.

“These are never easy – I’ve found it difficult to broach the topic with my children. Yet with young people increasingly exposed to it through school, social media and peer circles, silence is not an option,” she said.

“Suicide prevention isn’t just about services or professionals. It’s about all of us playing a role in supporting friends, families, colleagues and the larger community, and having the courage to reach out when we notice something is wrong,” she said.

“When people feel they can talk about their struggles without shame, the chances of getting help in time are much greater, and hopefully we can prevent some suicides.”

https://standingabovethecrowd.com/james-donaldson-on-mental-health-many-of-those-who-died-by-suicide-showed-warning-signs-like-mood-changes-in-week-before-death-imh/

Summary

- IMH's study (2021-2024) found increased warning signs like mood changes and recklessness in the week before suicides in Singapore.

- Those who died by suicide were more likely to have a history of suicide attempts and unusual social media posts.

- Common factors among those who died by suicide included family mental illness history and insomnia.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zqk9VKK1SBs

SINGAPORE – Individuals who died by suicide showed warning signs such as mood changes, anger and recklessness in the week before their demise, a new study by the Institute of Mental Health (IMH) has found.

They were also more likely than the general population to post content on social media before their death that was out of the ordinary, and to have a history of suicide attempts.

Based on the findings, IMH said there is a need for greater mental health literacy in Singapore so that family members, friends and communities can better recognise the warnings signs and intervene early.

The study, titled Seeking Answers: A Psychological Autopsy Of Exploring And Analysing Risk Factors, is the first in Singapore to use the psychological autopsy method.

This involves a detailed examination of the life and state of mind of the person who died based on information from those who survived the individual, such as family members, close friends and care providers. It identified key factors associated with suicides in Singapore and warning signs that families and friends can look out for. The aim is to get a good idea of an individual’s circumstances, personality and health to understand what could have led to their death.

Researchers conducted interviews with people close to 73 individuals who died by suicide between 2021 and 2024. The team also selected 73 individuals from the general population as a control group to serve as a baseline for what is typical.

Through the interviews and comparisons, the study identified possible unique factors associated with suicide. The suicide cases showed more warning signs drawn from the 10 identified by the American Association of Suicidology: ideation, substance abuse, purposelessness, anxiety, feeling trapped, hopelessness, withdrawal, anger, recklessness and mood changes.

Around 40 per cent of the cases studied had previous suicide attempts, with more than a quarter of them having made an attempt in the year before their death.

Stressing the need for greater mental health literacy, IMH said in a statement on Sept 17 that survivors of the person who died by suicide said they were unable to distinguish stress from serious mental health conditions like depression or psychosis. This led to delayed seeking of treatment.

They focused on alleviating the stressor, but did not fully understand the importance of professional treatment and did not insist that the person seek care.

Among those who lost an older adult to suicide, the mental health problems were often overlooked if the person was already receiving treatment for other medical conditions like pain.

Professor Chong Siow Ann, a senior consultant at IMH’s research division and department of psychosis, said: “Warning signs such as withdrawal, hopelessness or mood changes can sometimes be subtle or mistaken for normal stress. It is not always straightforward, but this means that there were opportunities to notice changes if people around them were aware of what to look for.”

With better mental health literacy, families, teachers, employers and peers can become more confident in recognising when something is amiss and intervening early, he added.

A common misconception is that talking about suicide might put the idea into someone’s head, Prof Chong noted. Research has shown this is not the case, he said.

“On the contrary, suicidal thoughts often exist long before they are expressed and not talking about it risks isolating them further,” he said. He added that if a loved one seems withdrawn, hopeless, unusually anxious, or expresses thoughts of being a burden, that is the moment to reach out.

#James Donaldson notes:Welcome to the “next chapter” of my life… being a voice and an advocate for #mentalhealthawarenessandsuicideprevention, especially pertaining to our younger generation of students and student-athletes.Getting men to speak up and reach out for help and assistance is one of my passions. Us men need to not suffer in silence or drown our sorrows in alcohol, hang out at bars and strip joints, or get involved with drug use.Having gone through a recent bout of #depression and #suicidalthoughts myself, I realize now, that I can make a huge difference in the lives of so many by sharing my story, and by sharing various resources I come across as I work in this space.  #http://bit.ly/JamesMentalHealthArticleFind out more about the work I do on my 501c3 non-profit foundationwebsite www.yourgiftoflife.org Order your copy of James Donaldson's latest book,#CelebratingYourGiftofLife: From The Verge of Suicide to a Life of Purpose and Joy

Click Here For More Information About James Donaldson

“Doing so gives relief, validates their pain and creates space for connection.”

Reaching out can then be followed up with concrete steps such as encouraging professional help, connecting them to hotlines or community resources, or simply getting them to stay present, he added.

The study also identified other common factors in the 73 cases of suicides. The cases were more likely to have a family history of mental illness than the members of the control group.

More than half of the cases of suicide were reported to have functional limitations in the month before their death, indicating they had trouble performing work or other activities. They were also more likely to experience insomnia in the weeks before their death.

In terms of lifestyle factors, those who died by suicide were more likely to drink frequently and smoke than the control group.

More than 70 per cent of the suicide cases had been diagnosed with a mental health condition, with major depressive disorder being the most common.

Around 30 per cent of the individuals were unemployed in the past year.

Associate Professor Mythily Subramaniam, who is the principal investigator of the study and assistant chairman of IMH’s medical board for research, said that one of the most important messages from the study is the need for open, honest conversations about suicide.

“These are never easy – I’ve found it difficult to broach the topic with my children. Yet with young people increasingly exposed to it through school, social media and peer circles, silence is not an option,” she said.

“Suicide prevention isn’t just about services or professionals. It’s about all of us playing a role in supporting friends, families, colleagues and the larger community, and having the courage to reach out when we notice something is wrong,” she said.

“When people feel they can talk about their struggles without shame, the chances of getting help in time are much greater, and hopefully we can prevent some suicides.” https://standingabovethecrowd.com/james-donaldson-on-mental-health-many-of-those-who-died-by-suicide-showed-warning-signs-like-mood-changes-in-week-before-death-imh/

Summary

- IMH's study (2021-2024) found increased warning signs like mood changes and recklessness in the week before suicides in Singapore.

- Those who died by suicide were more likely to have a history of suicide attempts and unusual social media posts.

- Common factors among those who died by suicide included family mental illness history and insomnia.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zqk9VKK1SBs

SINGAPORE – Individuals who died by suicide showed warning signs such as mood changes, anger and recklessness in the week before their demise, a new study by the Institute of Mental Health (IMH) has found.

They were also more likely than the general population to post content on social media before their death that was out of the ordinary, and to have a history of suicide attempts.

Based on the findings, IMH said there is a need for greater mental health literacy in Singapore so that family members, friends and communities can better recognise the warnings signs and intervene early.

The study, titled Seeking Answers: A Psychological Autopsy Of Exploring And Analysing Risk Factors, is the first in Singapore to use the psychological autopsy method.

This involves a detailed examination of the life and state of mind of the person who died based on information from those who survived the individual, such as family members, close friends and care providers. It identified key factors associated with suicides in Singapore and warning signs that families and friends can look out for. The aim is to get a good idea of an individual’s circumstances, personality and health to understand what could have led to their death.

Researchers conducted interviews with people close to 73 individuals who died by suicide between 2021 and 2024. The team also selected 73 individuals from the general population as a control group to serve as a baseline for what is typical.

Through the interviews and comparisons, the study identified possible unique factors associated with suicide. The suicide cases showed more warning signs drawn from the 10 identified by the American Association of Suicidology: ideation, substance abuse, purposelessness, anxiety, feeling trapped, hopelessness, withdrawal, anger, recklessness and mood changes.

Around 40 per cent of the cases studied had previous suicide attempts, with more than a quarter of them having made an attempt in the year before their death.

Stressing the need for greater mental health literacy, IMH said in a statement on Sept 17 that survivors of the person who died by suicide said they were unable to distinguish stress from serious mental health conditions like depression or psychosis. This led to delayed seeking of treatment.

They focused on alleviating the stressor, but did not fully understand the importance of professional treatment and did not insist that the person seek care.

Among those who lost an older adult to suicide, the mental health problems were often overlooked if the person was already receiving treatment for other medical conditions like pain.

Professor Chong Siow Ann, a senior consultant at IMH’s research division and department of psychosis, said: “Warning signs such as withdrawal, hopelessness or mood changes can sometimes be subtle or mistaken for normal stress. It is not always straightforward, but this means that there were opportunities to notice changes if people around them were aware of what to look for.”

With better mental health literacy, families, teachers, employers and peers can become more confident in recognising when something is amiss and intervening early, he added.

A common misconception is that talking about suicide might put the idea into someone’s head, Prof Chong noted. Research has shown this is not the case, he said.

“On the contrary, suicidal thoughts often exist long before they are expressed and not talking about it risks isolating them further,” he said. He added that if a loved one seems withdrawn, hopeless, unusually anxious, or expresses thoughts of being a burden, that is the moment to reach out.

#James Donaldson notes:Welcome to the “next chapter” of my life… being a voice and an advocate for #mentalhealthawarenessandsuicideprevention, especially pertaining to our younger generation of students and student-athletes.Getting men to speak up and reach out for help and assistance is one of my passions. Us men need to not suffer in silence or drown our sorrows in alcohol, hang out at bars and strip joints, or get involved with drug use.Having gone through a recent bout of #depression and #suicidalthoughts myself, I realize now, that I can make a huge difference in the lives of so many by sharing my story, and by sharing various resources I come across as I work in this space.  #http://bit.ly/JamesMentalHealthArticleFind out more about the work I do on my 501c3 non-profit foundationwebsite www.yourgiftoflife.org Order your copy of James Donaldson's latest book,#CelebratingYourGiftofLife: From The Verge of Suicide to a Life of Purpose and Joy

Click Here For More Information About James Donaldson

“Doing so gives relief, validates their pain and creates space for connection.”

Reaching out can then be followed up with concrete steps such as encouraging professional help, connecting them to hotlines or community resources, or simply getting them to stay present, he added.

The study also identified other common factors in the 73 cases of suicides. The cases were more likely to have a family history of mental illness than the members of the control group.

More than half of the cases of suicide were reported to have functional limitations in the month before their death, indicating they had trouble performing work or other activities. They were also more likely to experience insomnia in the weeks before their death.

In terms of lifestyle factors, those who died by suicide were more likely to drink frequently and smoke than the control group.

More than 70 per cent of the suicide cases had been diagnosed with a mental health condition, with major depressive disorder being the most common.

Around 30 per cent of the individuals were unemployed in the past year.

Associate Professor Mythily Subramaniam, who is the principal investigator of the study and assistant chairman of IMH’s medical board for research, said that one of the most important messages from the study is the need for open, honest conversations about suicide.

“These are never easy – I’ve found it difficult to broach the topic with my children. Yet with young people increasingly exposed to it through school, social media and peer circles, silence is not an option,” she said.

“Suicide prevention isn’t just about services or professionals. It’s about all of us playing a role in supporting friends, families, colleagues and the larger community, and having the courage to reach out when we notice something is wrong,” she said.

“When people feel they can talk about their struggles without shame, the chances of getting help in time are much greater, and hopefully we can prevent some suicides.” https://standingabovethecrowd.com/?p=15779

James Donaldson on Mental Health - Coping with the grief of losing someone to suicide

By Emma Benson

KEY TAKEAWAYS

- September is Suicide Awareness Month highlighting the impact on those left behind.
- Support groups like LOSS offer community for suicide loss survivors in Utah counties.

SALT LAKE CITY — September is Suicide Awareness Month, and while the focus is often on prevention, it's also a time to recognize the pain carried by those left behind.

It's estimated that for every one person who dies by suicide, up to 135 people are impacted. Research shows that those who lose a loved one to suicide are much more likely to experience suicidal thoughts or behaviors themselves.

"Because of the stigma surrounding suicide, many people feel that they may have missed something, or they may have actually not attended to something with their loved one, and maybe could have prevented that suicide," said Dr. Mason Turner, senior medical director for the behavioral health clinical program at Intermountain Health. "You may not have picked up on any signs, because perhaps they weren't there."

Turner says guilt and self-blame are normal reactions, and professional help is critical to healing.

"Going through that grieving process is really important," he said. "Seeking bereavement resources, taking time for yourself, engaging in self-care — and asking for professional help if you think that would be helpful for you — these are all really important after you've lost someone to suicide. Don't isolate and experience this loss alone."

And while it can be difficult knowing how to support someone who has lost a loved one, Turner suggests starting the conversation in a gentle, non-judgmental way.

#James Donaldson notes:
Welcome to the “next chapter” of my life… being a voice and an advocate for #mentalhealthawarenessandsuicideprevention, especially pertaining to our younger generation of students and student-athletes.
Getting men to speak up and reach out for help and assistance is one of my passions. Us men need to not suffer in silence or drown our sorrows in alcohol, hang out at bars and strip joints, or get involved with drug use.
Having gone through a recent bout of #depression and #suicidalthoughts myself, I realize now, that I can make a huge difference in the lives of so many by sharing my story, and by sharing various resources I come across as I work in this space.  #http://bit.ly/JamesMentalHealthArticle
Find out more about the work I do on my 501c3 non-profit foundation
website www.yourgiftoflife.org Order your copy of James Donaldson's latest book,
#CelebratingYourGiftofLife: From The Verge of Suicide to a Life of Purpose and Joy

Click Here For More Information About James Donaldson

"If you want to approach someone who's lost a loved one by suicide, I think it's really important, first of all, to ask their permission. 'Are you ready to talk about that?'" he said. "I think it's also important that before you sit with that person, that you're prepared to sit with their grief, sit with their sadness, sit with them crying… let that person go through that and experience it."

"The grieving process, particularly when you've lost a loved one from suicide, is actually very, very individualized," he added. "Just being kind to yourself, understanding that your brain and your body and your mind will recover on the course of time that they want to recover on."

Turner emphasizes that survivors should not try to process their grief alone. Support groups for suicide loss survivors can provide community, while counseling and therapy offer additional tools for healing.

A local support group called LOSS — Loved Ones Suicide Survivors — holds twice-monthly support groups in Cache County, Salt Lake County, Utah County, and Washington County. For more information, including meeting times, visit their website.

Suicide prevention resources

If you or someone you know is struggling with thoughts of suicide, call 988 to connect with the 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline.

https://standingabovethecrowd.com/james-donaldson-on-mental-health-coping-with-the-grief-of-losing-someone-to-suicide/

By Emma Benson

KEY TAKEAWAYS

- September is Suicide Awareness Month highlighting the impact on those left behind.

- Support groups like LOSS offer community for suicide loss survivors in Utah counties.

SALT LAKE CITY — September is Suicide Awareness Month, and while the focus is often on prevention, it's also a time to recognize the pain carried by those left behind.

It's estimated that for every one person who dies by suicide, up to 135 people are impacted. Research shows that those who lose a loved one to suicide are much more likely to experience suicidal thoughts or behaviors themselves.

"Because of the stigma surrounding suicide, many people feel that they may have missed something, or they may have actually not attended to something with their loved one, and maybe could have prevented that suicide," said Dr. Mason Turner, senior medical director for the behavioral health clinical program at Intermountain Health. "You may not have picked up on any signs, because perhaps they weren't there."

Turner says guilt and self-blame are normal reactions, and professional help is critical to healing.

"Going through that grieving process is really important," he said. "Seeking bereavement resources, taking time for yourself, engaging in self-care — and asking for professional help if you think that would be helpful for you — these are all really important after you've lost someone to suicide. Don't isolate and experience this loss alone."

And while it can be difficult knowing how to support someone who has lost a loved one, Turner suggests starting the conversation in a gentle, non-judgmental way.

#James Donaldson notes:Welcome to the “next chapter” of my life… being a voice and an advocate for #mentalhealthawarenessandsuicideprevention, especially pertaining to our younger generation of students and student-athletes.Getting men to speak up and reach out for help and assistance is one of my passions. Us men need to not suffer in silence or drown our sorrows in alcohol, hang out at bars and strip joints, or get involved with drug use.Having gone through a recent bout of #depression and #suicidalthoughts myself, I realize now, that I can make a huge difference in the lives of so many by sharing my story, and by sharing various resources I come across as I work in this space.  #http://bit.ly/JamesMentalHealthArticleFind out more about the work I do on my 501c3 non-profit foundationwebsite www.yourgiftoflife.org Order your copy of James Donaldson's latest book,#CelebratingYourGiftofLife: From The Verge of Suicide to a Life of Purpose and Joy

Click Here For More Information About James Donaldson

"If you want to approach someone who's lost a loved one by suicide, I think it's really important, first of all, to ask their permission. 'Are you ready to talk about that?'" he said. "I think it's also important that before you sit with that person, that you're prepared to sit with their grief, sit with their sadness, sit with them crying… let that person go through that and experience it."

"The grieving process, particularly when you've lost a loved one from suicide, is actually very, very individualized," he added. "Just being kind to yourself, understanding that your brain and your body and your mind will recover on the course of time that they want to recover on."

Turner emphasizes that survivors should not try to process their grief alone. Support groups for suicide loss survivors can provide community, while counseling and therapy offer additional tools for healing.

A local support group called LOSS — Loved Ones Suicide Survivors — holds twice-monthly support groups in Cache County, Salt Lake County, Utah County, and Washington County. For more information, including meeting times, visit their website.

Suicide prevention resources

If you or someone you know is struggling with thoughts of suicide, call 988 to connect with the 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline. https://standingabovethecrowd.com/james-donaldson-on-mental-health-coping-with-the-grief-of-losing-someone-to-suicide/

By Emma Benson

KEY TAKEAWAYS

- September is Suicide Awareness Month highlighting the impact on those left behind.

- Support groups like LOSS offer community for suicide loss survivors in Utah counties.

SALT LAKE CITY — September is Suicide Awareness Month, and while the focus is often on prevention, it's also a time to recognize the pain carried by those left behind.

It's estimated that for every one person who dies by suicide, up to 135 people are impacted. Research shows that those who lose a loved one to suicide are much more likely to experience suicidal thoughts or behaviors themselves.

"Because of the stigma surrounding suicide, many people feel that they may have missed something, or they may have actually not attended to something with their loved one, and maybe could have prevented that suicide," said Dr. Mason Turner, senior medical director for the behavioral health clinical program at Intermountain Health. "You may not have picked up on any signs, because perhaps they weren't there."

Turner says guilt and self-blame are normal reactions, and professional help is critical to healing.

"Going through that grieving process is really important," he said. "Seeking bereavement resources, taking time for yourself, engaging in self-care — and asking for professional help if you think that would be helpful for you — these are all really important after you've lost someone to suicide. Don't isolate and experience this loss alone."

And while it can be difficult knowing how to support someone who has lost a loved one, Turner suggests starting the conversation in a gentle, non-judgmental way.

#James Donaldson notes:Welcome to the “next chapter” of my life… being a voice and an advocate for #mentalhealthawarenessandsuicideprevention, especially pertaining to our younger generation of students and student-athletes.Getting men to speak up and reach out for help and assistance is one of my passions. Us men need to not suffer in silence or drown our sorrows in alcohol, hang out at bars and strip joints, or get involved with drug use.Having gone through a recent bout of #depression and #suicidalthoughts myself, I realize now, that I can make a huge difference in the lives of so many by sharing my story, and by sharing various resources I come across as I work in this space.  #http://bit.ly/JamesMentalHealthArticleFind out more about the work I do on my 501c3 non-profit foundationwebsite www.yourgiftoflife.org Order your copy of James Donaldson's latest book,#CelebratingYourGiftofLife: From The Verge of Suicide to a Life of Purpose and Joy

Click Here For More Information About James Donaldson

"If you want to approach someone who's lost a loved one by suicide, I think it's really important, first of all, to ask their permission. 'Are you ready to talk about that?'" he said. "I think it's also important that before you sit with that person, that you're prepared to sit with their grief, sit with their sadness, sit with them crying… let that person go through that and experience it."

"The grieving process, particularly when you've lost a loved one from suicide, is actually very, very individualized," he added. "Just being kind to yourself, understanding that your brain and your body and your mind will recover on the course of time that they want to recover on."

Turner emphasizes that survivors should not try to process their grief alone. Support groups for suicide loss survivors can provide community, while counseling and therapy offer additional tools for healing.

A local support group called LOSS — Loved Ones Suicide Survivors — holds twice-monthly support groups in Cache County, Salt Lake County, Utah County, and Washington County. For more information, including meeting times, visit their website.

Suicide prevention resources

If you or someone you know is struggling with thoughts of suicide, call 988 to connect with the 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline. https://standingabovethecrowd.com/?p=15752

James Donaldson on Mental Health - How to Help Kids Deal With Embarrassment

Don't minimize their feelings, but do praise them for being resilient

Writer: Rae Jacobson, MS

Clinical Expert: Rachel Busman, PsyD, ABPP

What You'll Learn

- How can we help kids who feel embarrassed?
- What can parents do to model good coping skills?
- When should you be concerned about a child who feels embarrassed?
- Quick Read
- Full Article
- Model behavior
- Take your child’s embarrassment seriously
- But don’t overreact
- Praise positive skills
- Create perspective
- When to step in
- Embarrassment and social anxiety
- Life lessons

Back to Top

Downloadable Resources
- Helping Kids With Learning Disabilities Handle Embarrassment
- Supporting Self-Confidence in Kids With Learning Disabilities

Quick Read

For grown-ups, minor embarrassments are no big deal. But for kids, being embarrassed can be very upsetting. Helping kids build resilience and confidence will make sure they have tools to deal with embarrassment in a healthy way. 

Kids look to parents to see how to behave. When you feel embarrassed, set an example by responding calmly and keeping your cool. This doesn’t mean you should hide embarrassments. Instead, let kids see you handling embarrassing experiences in a reasonable way: “Whew! That was embarrassing! But it was kind of funny, too.” 

Embarrassment can be a powerful emotion for kids. Something that sounds small to you — like giving the wrong answer in class— may feel huge to your child. When kids are embarrassed it’s important not to dismiss their feelings, even if the situation that caused them sounds like no big deal.  

Instead, let them know you take their feelings seriously. Then, focus on moving on and modeling healthy coping skills. Offer perspective: “It might feel like everyone will remember this forever, but…” And praise resilience: “Sure, you made a mistake, but I loved how you just kept playing! That was amazing!” 

Embarrassing situations happen to everyone from time to time. But if a child regularly comes home from school upset, or has a major change in behavior or mood, there may be something more serious going on. Bullying could be a problem. Or if your child is so worried about being embarrassed that they avoid activities most kids enjoy, they could be struggling with social anxiety disorder, and may need help. 

For most adults minor embarrassments are just a part of life — annoying, but inevitable and hardly a big deal. But for many kids, embarrassing experiences can be very upsetting and, in some cases, may lead to serious issues like anxiety and avoidance.

We can’t protect our children from embarrassment, but we can help them build the resilience and confidence they need to deal with it in a healthy way.

Model behavior

Kids look to parents for cues on how to manage difficult emotions like embarrassment. “As parents we set the behavioral tone for our kids,“ says Rachel Busman, PsyD, a clinical psychologist, “So when we’re helping children learn healthy emotional habits, the first step is to consider how we handle similar situations in our own lives.”

Taking a look at how you deal with embarrassing experiences at home will help you set an example of healthy behavior for your child.

- Don’t obsess: If you tend to dwell on mistakes you’ve made (“I can’t believe I did that!” “I could have died of embarrassment!”), it’s more likely your child will do the same.
- Stay calm: If you lose your cool when an embarrassing situation happens to you, or react by becoming angry or upset, you’re sending a message to your child that it’s a big deal.
- No teasing: Kids accidentally do and say some very funny things, but it’s important not to mock mistakes or poke fun at embarrassing incidents. If small embarrassments are treated with ridicule, kids may start associating even minor missteps with feelings of shame and humiliation. Teasing — even if it seems gentle — can be very upsetting to kids, especially if they’re already feeling sensitive.

Take your child’s embarrassment seriously

There’s no yardstick for embarrassment. Something that sounds small to you — giving the wrong answer in class for example — may feel huge to your child.

If your child is embarrassed it’s important not to dismiss their feelings, even if the situation that caused them sounds like no big deal.

“We naturally want to downplay embarrassing experiences by saying things like ‘it’s not as bad as you think,’” says Dr. Busman. “But when kids are experiencing these big, really upsetting emotions that can feel like a brush-off.”

But don’t overreact

If your child comes home upset, what they don’t need is for you to get upset, too, or angry on their behalf. (“That sounds awful!” “Those kids should be ashamed of themselves for laughing!”) And don’t assume that they want or need you to do something about it. When a self-concious child worries that a parent will overreact or make an embarrassing situation worse, they’re likely to be reluctant to share their feelings.

“When a child is hurting, as parents we want to do all we can,” says Dr. Busman, “but if your kid is feeling embarrassed, heaping more attention on the situation can make it worse, not better.”

Praise positive skills

If your child shares an embarrassing situation with you, take care to validate their feelings, but don’t dwell on them or over comfort. Instead, praise positive coping skills. If they made a mistake during a piano recital, praise them for staying focused and finishing the piece. Reframing negative experiences will help your child identify healthy reactions and practice them, building what we call metacognitive skills. You could say: “I’m so sorry that happened today. I know it was upsetting but I am so proud of how you handled it. It takes a really brave person to keep playing when things are hard.”

Create perspective

If your child fell in gym class and other kids laughed, it may seem to them as though everyone saw, everyone laughed and no one will ever forget it — ever.

Of course you know that’s not true but kids, especially younger ones, often struggle to see beyond their own feelings, which can make embarrassing situations feel like front-page news. “Kids can be egocentric,” explains Dr. Busman, “so when something embarrassing happens to your child it can feel like everyone is thinking about it as much as they are, when in reality most kids will have moved on by the next day.”

Learning to put their feelings and experiences in context will help your child gain perspective and build resilience.

- Unpack: Help your child take a metacognitive approach to their feelings by asking open-ended questions. For example: Your child isn’t the only one who’s ever fallen down in gym class, so you could begin by asking how they felt when other kids did the same thing. Learning to put their own experiences in context can help your child start to see embarrassing situations from a better angle.
- Share: Sharing examples from your own life will help normalize embarrassment. “I dropped my handbag at the grocery store the other day. It practically exploded all over the floor. Everyone laughed, but then several people helped pick things up.”
- But don’t compare: Offering perspective is good but be careful to avoid comparing your experiences with your child’s. (“You think that’s bad, when your brother was your age…”) Your child may end up feeling like their experiences are unimportant — or not serious enough to warrant how upset they’re feeling — which can make them feel worse for not being tougher.
- Let your child take the lead: Sometimes questions are helpful, but there may be times when your child just doesn’t want to talk about it. “Letting kids take the lead is important,” says Dr. Busman. “If your child says, ‘I don’t want to talk about it’ or seems too upset, don’t push.” Embarrassment is a big feeling and sometimes kids just need space to cool down.

Helping your child gain perspective without minimizing their feelings will make it easier for them to move past negative experiences — and give them an important tool for building self-awareness in the future.

When to step in

Embarrassing situations happen to everyone from time to time, but if your child regularly comes home from school upset, or has a major change in behavior or mood, there may be something more serious going on.

- Bullying: Unfortunately, kids aren’t always kind. Most children will be made fun of at some point during their lives. Sporadic episodes of embarrassment are unpleasant — but not unusual. However, if your child regularly reports being teased or humiliated by their peers — especially kids who are bigger, older or more “popular” — there’s a chance they’re being bullied, and it’s time to step in.
- Behavioral changes: Feeling a little down or anxious after an embarrassing incident is normal, but lingering behavioral changes — not sleeping, low appetite, excessive worrying — are not.
- Overreacting or obsessing: If your child’s reaction to something embarrassing seems out of proportion to the situation or they seem unable to move past it, they may need support.
- Avoidance: Most kids who’ve had an embarrassing experience feel reluctant about returning to the class or social group where the problem occurred for a little while, but persistent avoidance is cause for concern. Some signs to watch for include frequently being too sick to go to school or asking to go to the nurse during a particular class, making excuses to avoid seeing friends, cutting class, skipping extracurricular activities or refusing to attend school entirely.

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Embarrassment and social anxiety

For some kids, fear of being embarrassed itself can become a serious issue. If a child seems to live in perpetual fear of embarrassment — even when there’s no obvious reason to worry — they may be experiencing social anxiety.

Social anxiety usually occurs in children who’ve reached adolescence, but it can develop earlier. A child with social anxiety panics at the thought of participating in day-to-day activities because they worry chronically about what other people will think of them, obsess on how they appears to others, or fear making a mistake.

These fears can be very debilitating. For kids who see potential for humiliation at every turn, even basic interactions can feel like a minefield, and social, school and personal interactions often suffer. Withdrawal is common, but kids with social anxiety are also prone to lashing out when the threat of embarrassment overwhelms them.

The good news is that kids who develop social anxiety respond well to cognitive behavioral therapy, and with help can return to their normal activities.

Life lessons

It’s natural to want to protect your child from experiences that are hurtful or upsetting, but in the end, the best way for your child to build coping skills is through experience — with a side of support.

“Being embarrassed is part of life,” says Dr. Busman. “It’s tempting to try to shield our kids from difficult things, but in reality learning how to deal with those experiences in a healthy way is a skill that will serve your child well as they grow up.”

https://standingabovethecrowd.com/james-donaldson-on-mental-health-how-to-help-kids-deal-with-embarrassment-5/