James Donaldson on Mental Health - James Ransone, ‘The Wire’ actor, dead by suicide at 46

By Eric Todisco

James Ransone, who played Ziggy Sobotka in “The Wire” and a host of other HBO roles, has died. He was 46.

Ransone died by suicide Friday in Los Angeles, according to the Los Angeles County medical examiner.

He was a married father of two, and wife Jamie McPhee posted a fund-raiser for the National Alliance on Mental Illness in her social media profile.

Ransone’s cause of death was listed as “hanging,” while his place of death was listed as “shed.”

James Ransone in “The Wire.
Ransone as Ziggy in “The Wire.

The Post has reached out to reps for Ransone and “The Wire” creator David Simon for comment.

Ransone portrayed Frank Sobotka’s (Chris Bauer) son, Baltimore dock worker Ziggy, in the second season of “The Wire.”

He appeared in 12 episodes in 2003.

The critically acclaimed HBO series aired from 2002 to 2008, starring Dominic West, Michael Kenneth Williams, John Doman, Idris Elba, Wood Harris, Lance Reddick, Wendell Pierce, Frankie Faison, Lawrence Gilliard Jr. and more.

#James Donaldson notes:
Welcome to the “next chapter” of my life… being a voice and an advocate for #mentalhealthawarenessandsuicideprevention, especially pertaining to our younger generation of students and student-athletes.
Getting men to speak up and reach out for help and assistance is one of my passions. Us men need to not suffer in silence or drown our sorrows in alcohol, hang out at bars and strip joints, or get involved with drug use.
Having gone through a recent bout of #depression and #suicidalthoughts myself, I realize now, that I can make a huge difference in the lives of so many by sharing my story, and by sharing various resources I come across as I work in this space.  #http://bit.ly/JamesMentalHealthArticle
Find out more about the work I do on my 501c3 non-profit foundation
website www.yourgiftoflife.org Order your copy of James Donaldson's latest book,
#CelebratingYourGiftofLife: From The Verge of Suicide to a Life of Purpose and Joy

Click Here For More Information About James Donaldson

Click here to follow James Donaldson's Blog

Ransone at “The Wire” premiere in New York City in 2003
Ransone at the 2016 Film Independent Spirit Awards

Ransone also had roles in the shows “Generation Kill,” “Treme” and “Bosch.” His final TV appearance was in a Season 2 episode of “Poker Face” that aired in June.

In film, Ransone starred in “Prom Night” (2008), “Sinister” (2012), “Sinister 2” (2015), “Tangerine” (2015), “Mr. Right” (2015), “It Chapter Two (2019), “The Black Phone” (2021) and “Black Phone 2” (2025).

In 2021, Ransone came forward as a sexual abuse survivor.

The actor said that his former tutor, Timothy Rualo, sexually abused him numerous times at his childhood home in Phoenix, Maryland, over the course of six months in 1992.

Ransone made the accusation public by posting a lengthy note on Instagram that he sent his alleged sexual abuser.

Ransone and Sam Richardson in “Poker Face
Shannyn Sossamon and Ransone in “Sinister II.”
Ransone in “Mr. Right.”

“We did very little math,” Ransone recalled. “The strongest memory I have of the abuse was washing blood and feces out of my sheets after you left. I remember doing this as a 12 year old because I was too ashamed to tell anyone.”

The alleged abuse led to a “lifetime of shame and embarrassment” for Ransone, who told Rualo his actions propelled him to become an alcoholic and a heroin addict. After getting sober in 2006, Ransone said he was “ready to confront” his past. He later reported the accusations to Baltimore County police in March 2020.

A detective then told Ransone in September that prosecutors “had no interest in pursuing the matter any further,” according to his email.

Ransone at the 2015 Sundance Film Festival.
Ransone at This Is Duplass: An Evening With Jay and Mark in LA in 2015.

The Baltimore County State’s Attorney Office ultimately did not bring charges following the police investigation, the Baltimore Sun reported.

In 2016, Ransone revealed in an Interview Magazine story that he got sober at 27 “after being on heroin for five years.”

“People think I got sober working on the ‘Generation Kill.’ I didn’t. I sobered up six or seven months before that,” he shared. “I remember going to Africa and I was going to be there for almost a year. I was No. 2 on the call sheet and I was like, ‘I think somebody made a mistake. This is too much responsibility for me.’ ”

If you are struggling with suicidal thoughts or are experiencing a mental health crisis and live in New York City, you can call 1-888-NYC-WELL for free and confidential crisis counseling. If you live outside the five boroughs, you can dial the 24/7 National Suicide Prevention hotline at 988 or go to SuicidePreventionLifeline.org.

https://standingabovethecrowd.com/james-donaldson-on-mental-health-james-ransone-the-wire-actor-dead-by-suicide-at-46/

The aftermath of a parental suicide increases the child's risk of suicide.

By Robert T Muller Ph.D.

 Reviewed by Lybi Ma

THE BASICS

- Suicide Risk Factors and Signs

- Take our Depression Test

- Find a therapist near me

Key points

- Children internalize feelings of shame or self-blame in the wake of a parent who chose to die by suicide.

- Children who have lost a parent to suicide are three times more likely to die by suicide.

- This association may not only be because of trauma, but by hereditary and environmental factors.

According to the World Health Organization, more than 720,000 people die by suicide each year, and it remains the third leading cause of death for 15- to 29-year-olds. Many children are left to grieve the loss of a parent to suicide, a painful experience that often leads to mental health struggles such as depression, anxiety, and even thoughts of suicide themselves.

There is a 3.8 percent lifetime prevalence of suicide exposure within a family, which means that about 1 in 25 people will be directly affected by this tragedy. There are many adverse outcomes of dealing with parental suicide for children, including psychological issues such as post-traumatic stress disorder and substance use, social challenges around building healthy relationships or fears of intimacy, and even physical health concerns like cardiovascular disease.

Madelon Sprengnether, regents professor emerita at the University of Minnesota, reflects on her own experience grappling with the loss of her stepfather to what she believes was an intentional overdose. She recalls, “My feelings in the immediate aftermath of my stepfather’s death were a mix of horror, guilt, shame, and something like numbness.”

#James Donaldson notes:Welcome to the “next chapter” of my life… being a voice and an advocate for #mentalhealthawarenessandsuicideprevention, especially pertaining to our younger generation of students and student-athletes.Getting men to speak up and reach out for help and assistance is one of my passions. Us men need to not suffer in silence or drown our sorrows in alcohol, hang out at bars and strip joints, or get involved with drug use.Having gone through a recent bout of #depression and #suicidalthoughts myself, I realize now, that I can make a huge difference in the lives of so many by sharing my story, and by sharing various resources I come across as I work in this space.  #http://bit.ly/JamesMentalHealthArticleFind out more about the work I do on my 501c3 non-profit foundationwebsite www.yourgiftoflife.org Order your copy of James Donaldson's latest book,#CelebratingYourGiftofLife: From The Verge of Suicide to a Life of Purpose and Joy

Click Here For More Information About James Donaldson

Click here to follow James Donaldson's Blog

Guilt is a common response when suicide occurs within a family. A study by Clémence Ceruzé and colleagues emphasizes how these feelings of guilt can complicate social connections. Children often internalize their emotions and develop feelings of shame or self-blame in an attempt to understand why a parent might choose to die by suicide.

Sprengnether’s struggles reflect the findings in Ceruzé’s research on the impact of suicide on social relationships: “My understanding now of what happened to me in the aftermath of my stepfather’s death is that I shut down emotionally. My natural shyness deepened, which made it hard for me to make friends in college, much less to find a boyfriend—both typical experiences for girls of my age.”

Alarmingly, research shows a significant increase in the risk of suicide and suicide attempts among the children of parents who have died by suicide. Specifically, children who have lost a parent to suicide are three times more likely to die by suicide and twice as likely to attempt suicide than children with two living parents.

Psychotherapist Colleen Mousseau serves as the clinical director of a therapy practice that supports grieving youth dealing with the loss of loved ones. Having worked with many child survivors of parental suicide, Mousseau understands the common occurrence of suicidal ideation among these bereaved youth and how this experience is relatively different from the grief associated with other causes of parental death.

“Many other causes of death can be explained in a way that quickly resolves feelings of guilt and responsibility. When someone dies by suicide, it can be difficult for those who are grieving to know where to place the blame. There can be deep feelings of betrayal, abandonment, and confusion that are difficult to resolve after a suicide.”

Several key factors may contribute to the higher prevalence of self-injurious behaviors among youth who have been previously exposed to suicide. Genetic factors like impulsive aggression and neuroticism can predispose a child to suicidal behaviors, as well as environmental influences before and after a parent's suicide, such as neglect, abuse, and family adversity. Imitation of a caregiver’s actions as a coping mechanism can also be a risk factor for suicide. Finally, the trauma of a parent’s suicide is enough to increase the likelihood of self-harm.

To help bereaved children, Mousseau suggests a safe and supportive space to understand, gain information, express feelings, and provide opportunities for connection with the person who passed away. Group-based support can especially help mitigate the isolation and loneliness associated with grieving parental suicide.

It is crucial to avoid placing blame on the family or child. It’s also important to use age-appropriate language and work with the surviving parent or other bereaved family members to encourage open, honest conversations and promote healing. This approach can be key in helping a child navigate their grief.

The need for effective therapy treatments, evidence-based programs, and family support interventions continues. A 2023 study explored a therapy program aimed at improving parenting practices known as the family bereavement program, which effectively reduced suicide risk among parentally bereaved children 6 to 15 years after the intervention.

In the aftermath of the tragic reality of suicide, loved ones are left to grapple with a range of intensely painful emotions. For children, especially, this can be confusing and even more devastating. However, healing is possible, and though the journey might look different for each individual, it often begins with having the right support. Fostering understanding and connection, rather than shame or isolation, is crucial in helping children cope with parental suicide. https://standingabovethecrowd.com/?p=16110

How to tell when school stress is a sign of an anxiety disorder, ADHD, or something else

Photo by Pragyan Bezbaruah on Pexels.com

Writer: Juliann Garey

Clinical Expert: Ken Schuster, PsyD

Key Takeaways

- Everyone feels stress about school sometimes, but the feeling should fade once the test or project is over. If it lingers, it may be signs of an anxiety disorder.

- Academic anxiety can show up as stomachaches, meltdowns, or perfectionism — spending excessive hours on assignments or redoing work.

- Because academic anxiety often overlaps with conditions like ADHD and learning disorders, it can be hard to know what’s really going on. Understanding the root of the issue helps figure to how to help.

- What is academic anxiety?

- Symptoms to watch for

- Diagnosis: Untangling anxiety from other issues

- Consequences of untreated academic anxiety

- Treatment options

- How parents can help

- The role of teachers and schools

For many children, school comes with a dose of everyday stress: a tough test, a presentation in front of the class, or the pressure to finish a big assignment. That kind of stress is normal. But for some kids, school-related stress can turn into something more consuming and disruptive. Left untreated, it can take a serious toll on children’s well-being and performance.

Ken Schuster, PsyD, a neuropsychologist at the Child Mind Institute, has seen firsthand how school stressors can lead to serious anxiety. Because school is where kids spend most of their time, it’s not surprising that it’s the focus of their attention and worries. “Academic anxiety isn’t a clinical diagnosis in itself,” he explains. “It’s really anxiety that’s triggered by school demands. And for some kids, that trigger is so powerful it disrupts their ability to learn and thrive.”

What is academic anxiety?

“Everyone feels stress sometimes,” says Dr. Schuster. “It’s part of life. The key difference is whether it fades once the stressful event is over.” Kids get nervous about a test, but once the test is done, the anxiety should drop. “If it doesn’t — if a child is losing sleep, avoiding school, melting down over homework, or can’t enjoy being with friends — that’s when we start thinking about an anxiety disorder,” he says.

Because school stress can trigger different kinds of anxiety, clinicians look at which specific anxiety disorder best matches a child’s symptoms. Constant, free-floating worry might be diagnosed as generalized anxiety disorder. Extreme perfectionism — like erasing so many times the paper has a hole in it — can be evidence of OCD. If the fear centers on performance situations — like reading aloud or speaking in class — social anxiety disorder might be the best fit. Kids who have racing hearts, trouble breathing, or feel like they might pass out before a test may meet criteria for panic disorder. The goal is to figure out how the anxiety shows up and whether it’s getting in the way of everyday life.

Is school stress getting worse and more pervasive? Dr. Schuster says kids have always worried about school, but today’s kids face some extra challenges. More students are competing for spots at selective schools — both private and public and certainly colleges — and the pressure to take advanced classes starts earlier. Then there’s social media, which amplifies the feeling that everyone else is doing better. “When I was looking at colleges in the 1990s, it was a personal process with my family and counselor,” Dr. Schuster says. “Now kids scroll TikTok and see other students comparing test scores and acceptance rates. That magnifying glass can make the pressure feel a lot more intense.”

Symptoms to watch for

School stress doesn’t look the same in every child, but there are some common patterns parents and teachers can spot:

- Physical complaints: Headaches, stomachaches, or nausea before school or exams

- Avoidance: Refusing to go to school, cutting class, or procrastinating on assignments

- Clinginess or meltdowns: Younger kids may cling to their parents at drop-off or melt down at homework time

- Obsessive studying or perfectionism: Spending excessive hours on assignments, rewriting or over-preparing

- Difficulty concentrating: Trouble staying focused in class or on homework because of racing thoughts

- Sleep and appetite changes: Sleeping poorly, overeating for comfort, or losing appetite altogether

Dr. Schuster notes that symptoms can occur in other contexts besides school. “The stomachaches, the meltdowns, the obsessive behavior — those aren’t unique to school stress. What makes the difference is the trigger. If schoolwork is what sets them off, that’s what we’re dealing with.”

Diagnosis: Untangling anxiety from other issues

Because academic anxiety often overlaps with other conditions, it can be hard to know what’s really going on.ADHD and learning disorders frequently coexist with anxiety, and one can mask the other. “A child may look anxious, but sometimes that anxiety comes from struggling with reading or math,” Dr. Schuster explains. “Or vice versa: The anxiety itself can interfere with focus.” Getting clarity usually requires a full evaluation. That might involve conversations with parents, teachers, and the child, along with questionnaires and sometimes formal academic testing. The goal, Dr. Schuster says, is always the same. “We want to answer the ‘why’ question. Is this anxiety rooted in a learning disorder? Is it part of a broader anxiety issue? Or is it performance-related? Knowing that tells us how to help.” He emphasizes that these evaluations aren’t about labeling kids, but about opening doors to the right support. “The earlier we understand what’s going on, the sooner we can target the help a child really needs.”

Consequences of untreated academic anxiety

When academic anxiety isn’t addressed, it tends to grow. In the short term, kids may resist going to school, shut down in class, or disengage from learning altogether. “They might come to believe they’re incapable or not intelligent,” Dr. Schuster says. Over time, constant anxiety can chip away at sleep, concentration, appetite, and self-esteem. “Imagine feeling stressed eight hours a day, five days a week, nine months out of the year,” he says. “It’s exhausting. And it can spill into other forms of anxiety and depression.”

Untreated academic anxiety can also erode a child’s relationship with school itself. “If every day feels like a battle, kids stop connecting with learning. That loss of confidence can follow them for years,” Dr. Schuster warns. That’s why early intervention matters. Recognizing the problem and getting help can prevent a downward spiral that affects both academic success and emotional health.

Treatment options

The good news is that academic anxiety is highly treatable. The most effective approaches are rooted in therapy, but they can also include skill-building and, in some cases, medication.

- Cognitivebehavioral therapy (CBT): Teaches kids to recognize anxious thoughts and replace them with more realistic ones. “‘If I don’t get an A, something terrible will happen,’ might become, ‘One grade doesn’t define me.’” Dr. Schuster explains.

- Exposure therapy: A step-by-step way to face fears until they feel less scary. It might start with simply talking about an anxiety-provoking situation in a safe setting, then role-playing it, and eventually practicing in real life (for example, having a child purposely give a wrong answer in front of peers in a group therapy setting) until it feels manageable.

- Study strategies: “Sometimes the fix is more practical,” Dr. Schuster says. “If the way you’re studying isn’t effective, of course you’ll feel anxious walking into a test. Changing the approach can reduce a lot of stress.” 

- Medication: Used carefully and usually alongside therapy if anxiety is severe and persistent.

“There’s no one-size-fits-all fix,” Dr. Schuster says. “We figure out what’s driving the anxiety and then use the right mix of tools.”

How parents can help

Parents are on the front lines, and their response can make a big difference. The most important step is simply talking about it. “Don’t brush it under the rug and hope it goes away,” Dr. Schuster advises. “Validate what your child is experiencing and let them know it’s real.”

- Don’t reinforce avoidance: Letting kids skip school makes anxiety worse.

- Break tasks into smaller steps: Help them tackle projects bit by bit.

- Focus on effort, not perfection: Praise persistence, not just grades.

- Stay in touch with teachers: Keep track of how anxiety shows up at school.

- Get help if needed: A counselor or clinician can provide extra support.

“One common mistake is thinking, ‘If my child is so distressed, maybe I’ll just let them stay home,’” Dr. Schuster says “That only makes things worse. Avoidance strengthens the anxiety.”

The role of teachers and schools

Teachers and schools can be powerful allies in helping kids manage academic anxiety. Even small changes in the classroom can lighten the load:

- Giving clear and repeated instructions

- Creating safe opportunities for kids to ask questions

- Building predictable routines that reduce uncertainty

Sometimes kids need more formal support. Section 504 plans and Individualized Education Programs (IEPs) are legal documents that make sure kids with significant anxiety or learning challenges get what they need. A 504 plan usually requires a diagnosis and covers accommodations like extended time or a quieter room for tests. AnIEP is more comprehensive and can include services like weekly counseling or small-group instruction. Both require an evaluation, though some schools offer short-term supports before formal plans are finalized.

Academic anxiety can be overwhelming for children and families alike. But it’s also highly treatable with the right recognition and support. “The most important thing,” Dr. Schuster emphasizes, “is not to dismiss what kids are going through. Their feelings are real. When we acknowledge them, validate them, and give them tools to cope, we set them up not just to succeed in school, but to thrive in life.”

#James Donaldson notes:Welcome to the “next chapter” of my life… being a voice and an advocate for #mentalhealthawarenessandsuicideprevention, especially pertaining to our younger generation of students and student-athletes.Getting men to speak up and reach out for help and assistance is one of my passions. Us men need to not suffer in silence or drown our sorrows in alcohol, hang out at bars and strip joints, or get involved with drug use.Having gone through a recent bout of #depression and #suicidalthoughts myself, I realize now, that I can make a huge difference in the lives of so many by sharing my story, and by sharing various resources I come across as I work in this space.  #http://bit.ly/JamesMentalHealthArticleFind out more about the work I do on my 501c3 non-profit foundationwebsite www.yourgiftoflife.org Order your copy of James Donaldson's latest book,#CelebratingYourGiftofLife: From The Verge of Suicide to a Life of Purpose and Joy

Click Here For More Information About James Donaldson

Click here to follow James Donaldson's Blog

Frequently Asked Questions

What is academic anxiety?

Academic anxiety is a form of anxiety triggered specifically by school demands, such as tests, presentations, or assignments. Unlike everyday stress, it can interfere with a child’s ability to learn and thrive.

How is academic anxiety different from normal school stress?

What happens if academic anxiety is left untreated?

Photo by Pragyan Bezbaruah on Pexels.com https://standingabovethecrowd.com/?p=16250

Tips for helping reluctant children join in play and group activities

Writer: Katherine Martinelli

What You'll Learn

- What kind of situations are hard for shy or anxious kids?

- What tools can families use to help children feel more comfortable around other kids?

- Quick Read

- Full Article

- Adjust expectations

- Break it down

- Knowledge is power

- Baby steps and praise

- Find a buddy

- When to push, and when to cool it

- Find your tribe

Some kids have trouble joining in with other kids. It can be especially hard for shy, anxious or sensitive kids. Often, they feel overwhelmed by big groups. Even if they want to play, they don’t know how to break the ice and join in. A lot of times, once they get past the hard beginning part, they have a good time. And sometimes when they just sit on the sidelines, they’re still having fun.

As a parent, it’s hard to watch your kid struggle to fit in with the group. But struggling doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong with your kid or with you as a parent. Just like grown-ups, some kids are more outgoing than others.

There are some simple things you can do that can really help your kid. The first step is figuring out what the hard thing is for them. It might be saying bye to Mom or Dad before joining a group. Or maybe they’re overwhelmed by the big group of kids. Once you understand the problem, you can brainstorm solutions.

For example, some kids have trouble going up to a new kid and saying “Hi, my name is so-and-so. What do you like to play?” Practicing that little “script” with your kid can give them the confidence they need to go up to a new kid.

Role-playing difficult things at home can help your kid feel less anxious about them, too. Another thing that helps a lot of kids is giving them an idea of how things will probably go at a certain event, like a birthday party or soccer game. Knowing what to expect makes it less scary for kids.

Debbie Weingarten’s son has been going to the same school for three years, loves his teacher and friends, and has a great time once he’s there. But the five-year-old still struggles with drop-off and often cries when Weingarten leaves. Similarly at soccer — which he enjoys — he gets overwhelmed or upset several times a practice and runs off the field.

For many kids, adjusting to social situations — whether it is a birthday party or a play date — can be challenging, even if they want to be there. Big groups of kids can be intimidating for even the most outgoing child, so for those who are sensitive or prone to anxiety it can make for a rocky transition.

“My son is a highly sensitive person, and it takes him quite a long time to feel comfortable in new situations,” explains Weingarten. “I honestly can’t think of a single new situation that has been easy for him. He’s just not that kind of kid.”

It can be painful to watch your child struggle in should-be-fun settings, but there are a few strategies — paired with a good dose of patience — that experts and fellow parents have found to be helpful.

Adjust expectations

If difficulty in social situations has become a pattern, it’s important to accept that this is part of your child’s personality, not a deficiency.

“Just because lots of kids like birthday parties, it doesn’t mean that it’s some kind of comment on you or your child if they are more trepidatious,” says Rachel Busman, PsyD, a clinical psychologist. “I think just appreciating that is important, because parents can feel pressure to be like everybody else.”

Weingarten, who also describes herself as sensitive, recalls as a child feeling some of the same feelings her son now has. Still, she admits, “as a parent, I would be lying if I said it wasn’t frustrating for me sometimes.” However, she tries her best not to express that frustration to her son. “I never want him to feel like something is wrong with him, or as though he’s defective in any way, or like his feelings aren’t real or legitimate.”

For Emily Popek, rethinking her perception of fun for her five-year-old was key. “It made a difference to realize that just because she was sitting on the sidelines watching didn’t mean she wasn’t enjoying herself. She actually was! So honestly the key for me was just letting go of my own expectations of what her ‘enjoyment’ would — or should — look like.”

Break it down

Once you’ve established that there’s an issue, the next step, says Dr. Busman, is to “break down the situation so you can try to figure out what might be challenging for your child.” Is it separation? Meeting new kids? Being in a big group? Fear of the unknown? From there you can work on strategies to assist your kid.

Knowledge is power

One of the most effective things you can do is arm your child with as much knowledge as possible about the event. Go over where it will be, who will be there and what might happen. Scripting, role-playing and previewing are all excellent tools for the socially anxious kid.

Kathy Radigan’s son — who is now an outgoing college freshman — was speech delayed as a child, which made him nervous about meeting new kids. “But he really wanted to play with kids,” Radigan recalls.

“We used scripting to help him through those first few nervous moments. We would practice role playing,” she adds. “I would do social stories with him about a boy who went to the park and got nervous when he saw the kids.”

The scripts Radigan rehearsed with her son were simple — things like “Hi, I’m Tom. What do you like to play?” She says this was usually enough to break the ice. Looking back, her son says that those early years of scripting and role-playing were a huge help.

The effect of all this previewing and role playing is to make the activity feel less new and scary, so the child is not as easily overwhelmed when it comes time for the real thing. Although not every aspect can be predictable, getting the general sense can help kids feel much more comfortable.

Baby steps and praise

For kids who get nervous in social situations, it’s unrealistic to think that they’ll be able to just jump right in. They may benefit from arriving early or late, and will need to adjust at their own pace. Many will want to hang back for a while to observe before actively participating.

“I work at giving my daughter time and permission to navigate the experience on her own terms,” explains Popek. “I’ll encourage her to take little steps out of her comfort zone, like starting out watching the other kids, then maybe moving closer, then playing nearby to the kids, then eventually actually playing with them.”

Arriving early to scope things out can be another helpful tactic. “If we are going to a new group or activity,” says Weingarten, “it helps to get there fifteen minutes early so we can enjoy the space without the chaos of other kids and settle in slowly.”

Dr. Busman suggests also being open with other parents about what’s going on. While it might feel awkward, it can be immensely helpful to give them a heads up that you might arrive early or late, for example, not out of rudeness but to help your child acclimate. “Most people are really nice,” reminds Dr. Busman, “and are going to say sure, whatever you need!”

And of course every success — whether it’s sitting on the outskirts of a party or fully engaging — merits praise. It can be something simple like, “I love how you went over and sat down to have a piece of pizza.” As Dr. Busman points out, this is a much better tactic than getting into a power struggle about why they aren’t having a good time.

Find a buddy

Sometimes it can be as simple as finding common ground, or arriving with someone with whom your child is already comfortable. Most people feel more at ease entering new social situations with a partner, so why shouldn’t children?

“A lot of kids will tell me they’ll go to practice for example, but only if they know someone who goes there,” explains Dr. Busman. “Which to me is like, alright, get him in the door. So let’s have a buddy.”

Dawn Alicot’s six-year-old is shy until he gets to know people, and she says “sometimes I ease the transition in a larger group by introducing him to someone. I look for common ground.” For example, finding another kid with similar sneakers, or a favorite character on their shirt. After doing this for a while, Alicot says her son started doing it on his own and has successfully made friends this way.

When to push, and when to cool it

As with so many things in parenting, there are times when it’s appropriate to gently push your child, and others when it’s time to back off. “There has to be a middle path,” says Dr. Busman. “Parents also need to have their own level of stress tolerance,” she says, since these things do take time and a lot of gentle nudging — and may result in the occasional meltdown.

If a child doesn’t want to have play dates, for example, Busman suggests pushing but taking it slow by starting with the neighbor’s kid who is a little younger, having it on home turf or starting with very short intervals.

Weingarten acutely understands the balance between making sure her son feels secure with pushing him ever so gently. “I do think we’re at a point,” she says, “where it’s healthy to nudge him out of the nest a little bit, while also understanding that it’s a process unique to him, and that his pacing will not match other kids.”

Similarly, she knows when it’s time to throw up the white flag and retreat. Weingarten notes that “he can get worked up to the point of having physical symptoms — his socks will suddenly feel too tight, his shoes will hurt, his belly will hurt. I believe these sensations are real manifestations of his stress. I know that once he gets to that point, I need to stop and do something to reverse the situation so he can calm down and feel safe again.”

If your child gets to this point, carrying on can be more detrimental in the long-term than pushing through.

#James Donaldson notes:Welcome to the “next chapter” of my life… being a voice and an advocate for #mentalhealthawarenessandsuicideprevention, especially pertaining to our younger generation of students and student-athletes.Getting men to speak up and reach out for help and assistance is one of my passions. Us men need to not suffer in silence or drown our sorrows in alcohol, hang out at bars and strip joints, or get involved with drug use.Having gone through a recent bout of #depression and #suicidalthoughts myself, I realize now, that I can make a huge difference in the lives of so many by sharing my story, and by sharing various resources I come across as I work in this space.  #http://bit.ly/JamesMentalHealthArticleFind out more about the work I do on my 501c3 non-profit foundationwebsite www.yourgiftoflife.org Order your copy of James Donaldson's latest book,#CelebratingYourGiftofLife: From The Verge of Suicide to a Life of Purpose and Joy

Click Here For More Information About James Donaldson

Click here to follow James Donaldson's Blog

Find your tribe

Don’t forget to take care of yourself, too. When it seems like everyone else’s kid can jump into social situations with ease it can feel isolating and exhausting.

“I recommend finding someone else who understands,” urges Weingarten. “Another parent. Someone who can empathize with the challenges and the blessings of a child who is anxious or highly sensitive. I went to coffee with a mom from my son’s kindergarten who is also having some similar challenges, and it was such a relief just to talk to someone who gets it. We were able to talk about how frustrating it can be, but also how grateful we are to be raising such feelings-oriented little humans in a world that desperately needs sensitivity and empathy.”

Frequently Asked Questions

How can parents help kids with social anxiety?

What kinds of situations are hard for socially anxious kids?

Different kinds of situations can be hard for socially anxious kids — like birthday parties or play dates — even if they want to be there. Big groups of kids can be particularly intimidating. What are some tips for helping socially anxious kids? https://standingabovethecrowd.com/?p=16091

James Donaldson on Mental Health - Academic Anxiety: When School Stress Becomes Too Much

How to tell when school stress is a sign of an anxiety disorder, ADHD, or something else

Photo by Pragyan Bezbaruah on Pexels.com

Writer: Juliann Garey

Clinical Expert: Ken Schuster, PsyD

Key Takeaways

- Everyone feels stress about school sometimes, but the feeling should fade once the test or project is over. If it lingers, it may be signs of an anxiety disorder.
- Academic anxiety can show up as stomachaches, meltdowns, or perfectionism — spending excessive hours on assignments or redoing work.
- Because academic anxiety often overlaps with conditions like ADHD and learning disorders, it can be hard to know what’s really going on. Understanding the root of the issue helps figure to how to help.
- What is academic anxiety?
- Symptoms to watch for
- Diagnosis: Untangling anxiety from other issues
- Consequences of untreated academic anxiety
- Treatment options
- How parents can help
- The role of teachers and schools

For many children, school comes with a dose of everyday stress: a tough test, a presentation in front of the class, or the pressure to finish a big assignment. That kind of stress is normal. But for some kids, school-related stress can turn into something more consuming and disruptive. Left untreated, it can take a serious toll on children’s well-being and performance.

Ken Schuster, PsyD, a neuropsychologist at the Child Mind Institute, has seen firsthand how school stressors can lead to serious anxiety. Because school is where kids spend most of their time, it’s not surprising that it’s the focus of their attention and worries. “Academic anxiety isn’t a clinical diagnosis in itself,” he explains. “It’s really anxiety that’s triggered by school demands. And for some kids, that trigger is so powerful it disrupts their ability to learn and thrive.”

What is academic anxiety?

“Everyone feels stress sometimes,” says Dr. Schuster. “It’s part of life. The key difference is whether it fades once the stressful event is over.” Kids get nervous about a test, but once the test is done, the anxiety should drop. “If it doesn’t — if a child is losing sleep, avoiding school, melting down over homework, or can’t enjoy being with friends — that’s when we start thinking about an anxiety disorder,” he says.

Because school stress can trigger different kinds of anxiety, clinicians look at which specific anxiety disorder best matches a child’s symptoms. Constant, free-floating worry might be diagnosed as generalized anxiety disorder. Extreme perfectionism — like erasing so many times the paper has a hole in it — can be evidence of OCD. If the fear centers on performance situations — like reading aloud or speaking in class — social anxiety disorder might be the best fit. Kids who have racing hearts, trouble breathing, or feel like they might pass out before a test may meet criteria for panic disorder. The goal is to figure out how the anxiety shows up and whether it’s getting in the way of everyday life.

Is school stress getting worse and more pervasive? Dr. Schuster says kids have always worried about school, but today’s kids face some extra challenges. More students are competing for spots at selective schools — both private and public and certainly colleges — and the pressure to take advanced classes starts earlier. Then there’s social media, which amplifies the feeling that everyone else is doing better. “When I was looking at colleges in the 1990s, it was a personal process with my family and counselor,” Dr. Schuster says. “Now kids scroll TikTok and see other students comparing test scores and acceptance rates. That magnifying glass can make the pressure feel a lot more intense.”

Symptoms to watch for

School stress doesn’t look the same in every child, but there are some common patterns parents and teachers can spot:

- Physical complaints: Headaches, stomachaches, or nausea before school or exams
- Avoidance: Refusing to go to school, cutting class, or procrastinating on assignments
- Clinginess or meltdowns: Younger kids may cling to their parents at drop-off or melt down at homework time
- Obsessive studying or perfectionism: Spending excessive hours on assignments, rewriting or over-preparing
- Difficulty concentrating: Trouble staying focused in class or on homework because of racing thoughts
- Sleep and appetite changes: Sleeping poorly, overeating for comfort, or losing appetite altogether

Dr. Schuster notes that symptoms can occur in other contexts besides school. “The stomachaches, the meltdowns, the obsessive behavior — those aren’t unique to school stress. What makes the difference is the trigger. If schoolwork is what sets them off, that’s what we’re dealing with.”

Diagnosis: Untangling anxiety from other issues

Because academic anxiety often overlaps with other conditions, it can be hard to know what’s really going on.ADHD and learning disorders frequently coexist with anxiety, and one can mask the other. “A child may look anxious, but sometimes that anxiety comes from struggling with reading or math,” Dr. Schuster explains. “Or vice versa: The anxiety itself can interfere with focus.” Getting clarity usually requires a full evaluation. That might involve conversations with parents, teachers, and the child, along with questionnaires and sometimes formal academic testing. The goal, Dr. Schuster says, is always the same. “We want to answer the ‘why’ question. Is this anxiety rooted in a learning disorder? Is it part of a broader anxiety issue? Or is it performance-related? Knowing that tells us how to help.” He emphasizes that these evaluations aren’t about labeling kids, but about opening doors to the right support. “The earlier we understand what’s going on, the sooner we can target the help a child really needs.”

Consequences of untreated academic anxiety

When academic anxiety isn’t addressed, it tends to grow. In the short term, kids may resist going to school, shut down in class, or disengage from learning altogether. “They might come to believe they’re incapable or not intelligent,” Dr. Schuster says. Over time, constant anxiety can chip away at sleep, concentration, appetite, and self-esteem. “Imagine feeling stressed eight hours a day, five days a week, nine months out of the year,” he says. “It’s exhausting. And it can spill into other forms of anxiety and depression.”

Untreated academic anxiety can also erode a child’s relationship with school itself. “If every day feels like a battle, kids stop connecting with learning. That loss of confidence can follow them for years,” Dr. Schuster warns. That’s why early intervention matters. Recognizing the problem and getting help can prevent a downward spiral that affects both academic success and emotional health.

Treatment options

The good news is that academic anxiety is highly treatable. The most effective approaches are rooted in therapy, but they can also include skill-building and, in some cases, medication.

- Cognitivebehavioral therapy (CBT): Teaches kids to recognize anxious thoughts and replace them with more realistic ones. “‘If I don’t get an A, something terrible will happen,’ might become, ‘One grade doesn’t define me.’” Dr. Schuster explains.
- Exposure therapy: A step-by-step way to face fears until they feel less scary. It might start with simply talking about an anxiety-provoking situation in a safe setting, then role-playing it, and eventually practicing in real life (for example, having a child purposely give a wrong answer in front of peers in a group therapy setting) until it feels manageable.
- Study strategies: “Sometimes the fix is more practical,” Dr. Schuster says. “If the way you’re studying isn’t effective, of course you’ll feel anxious walking into a test. Changing the approach can reduce a lot of stress.” 
- Medication: Used carefully and usually alongside therapy if anxiety is severe and persistent.

“There’s no one-size-fits-all fix,” Dr. Schuster says. “We figure out what’s driving the anxiety and then use the right mix of tools.”

How parents can help

Parents are on the front lines, and their response can make a big difference. The most important step is simply talking about it. “Don’t brush it under the rug and hope it goes away,” Dr. Schuster advises. “Validate what your child is experiencing and let them know it’s real.”

- Don’t reinforce avoidance: Letting kids skip school makes anxiety worse.
- Break tasks into smaller steps: Help them tackle projects bit by bit.
- Focus on effort, not perfection: Praise persistence, not just grades.
- Stay in touch with teachers: Keep track of how anxiety shows up at school.
- Get help if needed: A counselor or clinician can provide extra support.

“One common mistake is thinking, ‘If my child is so distressed, maybe I’ll just let them stay home,’” Dr. Schuster says “That only makes things worse. Avoidance strengthens the anxiety.”

The role of teachers and schools

Teachers and schools can be powerful allies in helping kids manage academic anxiety. Even small changes in the classroom can lighten the load:

- Giving clear and repeated instructions
- Creating safe opportunities for kids to ask questions
- Building predictable routines that reduce uncertainty

Sometimes kids need more formal support. Section 504 plans and Individualized Education Programs (IEPs) are legal documents that make sure kids with significant anxiety or learning challenges get what they need. A 504 plan usually requires a diagnosis and covers accommodations like extended time or a quieter room for tests. AnIEP is more comprehensive and can include services like weekly counseling or small-group instruction. Both require an evaluation, though some schools offer short-term supports before formal plans are finalized.

Academic anxiety can be overwhelming for children and families alike. But it’s also highly treatable with the right recognition and support. “The most important thing,” Dr. Schuster emphasizes, “is not to dismiss what kids are going through. Their feelings are real. When we acknowledge them, validate them, and give them tools to cope, we set them up not just to succeed in school, but to thrive in life.”

#James Donaldson notes:
Welcome to the “next chapter” of my life… being a voice and an advocate for #mentalhealthawarenessandsuicideprevention, especially pertaining to our younger generation of students and student-athletes.
Getting men to speak up and reach out for help and assistance is one of my passions. Us men need to not suffer in silence or drown our sorrows in alcohol, hang out at bars and strip joints, or get involved with drug use.
Having gone through a recent bout of #depression and #suicidalthoughts myself, I realize now, that I can make a huge difference in the lives of so many by sharing my story, and by sharing various resources I come across as I work in this space.  #http://bit.ly/JamesMentalHealthArticle
Find out more about the work I do on my 501c3 non-profit foundation
website www.yourgiftoflife.org Order your copy of James Donaldson's latest book,
#CelebratingYourGiftofLife: From The Verge of Suicide to a Life of Purpose and Joy

Click Here For More Information About James Donaldson

Click here to follow James Donaldson's Blog

Frequently Asked Questions

What is academic anxiety?

Academic anxiety is a form of anxiety triggered specifically by school demands, such as tests, presentations, or assignments. Unlike everyday stress, it can interfere with a child’s ability to learn and thrive.

How is academic anxiety different from normal school stress?

What happens if academic anxiety is left untreated?

Photo by Pragyan Bezbaruah on Pexels.com https://standingabovethecrowd.com/james-donaldson-on-mental-health-academic-anxiety-when-school-stress-becomes-too-much/

By JOANNA SANDERSThe Jason Foundation

This time of year, filled with the holidays, quality time with friends and loved ones, and the sense of a fresh start can be a meaningful time for many. It’s a season most people look forward to, but for some, it can increase anxiety, depression and suicidal ideation. This holiday season, make time in your busy schedule to learn the warning signs of suicide, encourage your friends and family to do the same and know how to respond when someone asks for help.

Holidays can bring joy and connection, but they can also amplify feelings of isolation or sadness for those struggling with their mental health. Additional financial stress, increased social pressure and isolation can lead to serious mental health concerns if left unaddressed. In 2014, the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) found that 64 percent of individuals living with a mental illness reported their conditions worsened around the holidays. A 2021 survey found that three in five Americans feel their mental health is negatively affected by the holidays.

#James Donaldson notes:Welcome to the “next chapter” of my life… being a voice and an advocate for #mentalhealthawarenessandsuicideprevention, especially pertaining to our younger generation of students and student-athletes.Getting men to speak up and reach out for help and assistance is one of my passions. Us men need to not suffer in silence or drown our sorrows in alcohol, hang out at bars and strip joints, or get involved with drug use.Having gone through a recent bout of #depression and #suicidalthoughts myself, I realize now, that I can make a huge difference in the lives of so many by sharing my story, and by sharing various resources I come across as I work in this space.  #http://bit.ly/JamesMentalHealthArticleFind out more about the work I do on my 501c3 non-profit foundationwebsite www.yourgiftoflife.org Order your copy of James Donaldson's latest book,#CelebratingYourGiftofLife: From The Verge of Suicide to a Life of Purpose and Joy

Click Here For More Information About James Donaldson

Click here to follow James Donaldson's Blog

Four out of five individuals considering suicide show some sign of their intentions, either verbally or behaviorally. Warning signs may include verbal threats about suicide, persistent depression, sudden changes in appearance or behavior and a loss of interest in hobbies once enjoyed. Recognizing these signs can help you respond before a situation becomes a crisis. https://standingabovethecrowd.com/?p=16245

James Donaldson on Mental Health - State to expand LGBTQ youth suicide prevention training for 988 counselors

by Staff Writer

The program will be offered to counselors across all 11 of California’s 988 call centers

#James Donaldson notes:
Welcome to the “next chapter” of my life… being a voice and an advocate for #mentalhealthawarenessandsuicideprevention, especially pertaining to our younger generation of students and student-athletes.
Getting men to speak up and reach out for help and assistance is one of my passions. Us men need to not suffer in silence or drown our sorrows in alcohol, hang out at bars and strip joints, or get involved with drug use.
Having gone through a recent bout of #depression and #suicidalthoughts myself, I realize now, that I can make a huge difference in the lives of so many by sharing my story, and by sharing various resources I come across as I work in this space.  #http://bit.ly/JamesMentalHealthArticle
Find out more about the work I do on my 501c3 non-profit foundation
website www.yourgiftoflife.org Order your copy of James Donaldson's latest book,
#CelebratingYourGiftofLife: From The Verge of Suicide to a Life of Purpose and Joy

Click Here For More Information About James Donaldson

Click here to follow James Donaldson's Blog

California is partnering with The Trevor Project to provide specialized suicide prevention training for more than 1,000 counselors working at the state’s 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline centers, state officials said.

The training, which begins this month and runs through March 2026, is intended to help counselors better support LGBTQ youth, a group that research shows faces elevated risks of suicide and mental health challenges.

The program will be offered to counselors across all 11 of California’s 988 call centers. It is based on surveys conducted earlier this year of center leadership and crisis counselors to identify gaps in training and areas where additional support is needed, according to the California Health and Human Services Agency.

The sessions will focus on improving counselors’ understanding of LGBTQ identities, risk factors and best practices for crisis intervention.

The initiative comes as the state reports an increase in calls and messages from LGBTQ youth to 988 centers. State officials said early data indicate higher contact volumes after the federal government ended a specialized LGBTQ youth counseling option, known as “Press 3,” within the national 988 system. As a result, more LGBTQ callers have sought help through the general crisis line.

According to The Trevor Project, 35% of LGBTQ youth in California reported seriously considering suicide within the past year, based on the organization’s research.

The 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline provides free, confidential support by phone, text and chat to people experiencing emotional distress or suicidal crises. California launched its version of the service in 2022 as part of a nationwide transition from the former National Suicide Prevention Lifeline.

Photo by Sharon McCutcheon on Pexels.com https://standingabovethecrowd.com/james-donaldson-on-mental-health-state-to-expand-lgbtq-youth-suicide-prevention-training-for-988-counselors/