Sunday, August 2, 2026



James Donaldson on Mental Health - Finding Help Following Suicide or an Attempt
Support related to suicide exists, but it's not always easy to find

By John Bateson

THE BASICS

- Suicide Risk Factors and Signs

- Take our Depression Test

- Find a therapist near me

Key points

- Suicide deaths tend to be traumatic for family members and friends.

- Support groups for those who survive a suicide attempt or parents whose children attempt suicide are rare.

- An hour-long video, “Supporting Parents," is one new resource.

Many crisis centers that operate 24-hour suicide prevention hotlines also provide grief counseling to people who are mourning a death. That’s because many people who have lost a loved one to suicide are more at risk for suicide themselves.

#James Donaldson notes:Welcome to the “next chapter” of my life… being a voice and an advocate for #mentalhealthawarenessandsuicideprevention, especially pertaining to our younger generation of students and student-athletes.Getting men to speak up and reach out for help and assistance is one of my passions. Us men need to not suffer in silence or drown our sorrows in alcohol, hang out at bars and strip joints, or get involved with drug use.Having gone through a recent bout of #depression and #suicidalthoughts myself, I realize now, that I can make a huge difference in the lives of so many by sharing my story, and by sharing various resources I come across as I work in this space.  #http://bit.ly/JamesMentalHealthArticleFind out more about the work I do on my 501c3 non-profit foundationwebsite www.yourgiftoflife.org Order your copy of James Donaldson's latest book,#CelebratingYourGiftofLife: From The Verge of Suicide to a Life of Purpose and Joy

Click Here For More Information About James Donaldson

Click here to follow James Donaldson's Blog

The crisis center I directed provided individual counseling and also operated multiple grief support groups. Four of the groups were for survivors of suicide—parents who lost children, youths who lost parents, individuals who lost partners, and others who lost siblings or friends because of suicide. Typically, there were 15 to 20 people in each of these four groups, although sometimes the number was greater, and we needed extra facilitators.

The first night of each group was memorable for one main reason. Upon entering the room, many people gasped. They couldn’t believe that so many other people were there, that so many others had experienced the same tragedy they had experienced, the suicide of a loved one. Until that moment, they felt completely alone.

Our grief counseling director, who was a nationally recognized death educator, started every first night the same way: “I’m so sorry that you’re here, and I’m so glad that you’re here.”

Anytime someone dies, it can be traumatic for survivors. Suicide deaths tend to be the most traumatic of all because of the guilt and stigma attached to them. Survivors think back on every interaction they had with the deceased, especially recent ones, questioning what they did or didn’t do—all of the “what ifs.” Did they miss warning signs? Did they take something the decedent said too lightly? Were they slow to act or did they not act at all, even in the face of what, in retrospect, was ominous?

Support groups for people who have attempted suicide are rare. A few agencies operate them, but they are hard to find, in part because leading this kind of group is daunting. Not only is everyone in it at high risk of suicide, but many suicidal people have emotional needs that can be overwhelming for the facilitator.

Support groups for parents whose children have attempted suicide are even rarer. More often than not, parents seek individual counseling for their child and/or counseling for the family with a private therapist. This, too, can be challenging to find, however, because many clinicians don’t have experience or aren’t comfortable providing this kind of therapy.

One new resource is an hour-long video developed by Zero Suicide titled Supporting Parents. It’s specifically for parents whose child has attempted suicide, and recognizes the fears, anxieties, and questions parents have; the helpless feelings they experience; and the fact that they might feel alone in this, but are not. Many others, sadly, are in the same position.

Having a loved one die or attempt suicide is an isolating experience, but a person doesn’t have to be alone. Help exists.

Zero Suicide is a global health care initiative whose goal isn’t just to prevent suicides but to end them. For anyone who is worried about the safety of a loved one, the only acceptable number when it comes to suicide is zero. Four other resources are noteworthy: The national, three-digit Suicide and Crisis Lifeline (988) connects callers seamlessly to the nearest, certified crisis center so that they can receive immediate, free, confidential counseling. The Crisis Text Line (741741) does the same thing for texters. The Trevor Project (1-888-488-7386) provides crisis intervention and suicide prevention services to lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, and questioning youth under the age of 25. The National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) has local chapters throughout the country and provides a variety of support services for mental health consumers and family members. https://standingabovethecrowd.com/?p=16451

James Donaldson on Mental Health - Finding Help Following Suicide or an Attempt

James Donaldson on Mental Health - Finding Help Following Suicide or an Attempt

Support related to suicide exists, but it's not always easy to find



By John Bateson


THE BASICS


- Suicide Risk Factors and Signs
- Take our Depression Test
- Find a therapist near me
Key points
- Suicide deaths tend to be traumatic for family members and friends.
- Support groups for those who survive a suicide attempt or parents whose children attempt suicide are rare.
- An hour-long video, “Supporting Parents," is one new resource.

Many crisis centers that operate 24-hour suicide prevention hotlines also provide grief counseling to people who are mourning a death. That’s because many people who have lost a loved one to suicide are more at risk for suicide themselves.


#James Donaldson notes:
Welcome to the “next chapter” of my life… being a voice and an advocate for #mentalhealthawarenessandsuicideprevention, especially pertaining to our younger generation of students and student-athletes.
Getting men to speak up and reach out for help and assistance is one of my passions. Us men need to not suffer in silence or drown our sorrows in alcohol, hang out at bars and strip joints, or get involved with drug use.
Having gone through a recent bout of #depression and #suicidalthoughts myself, I realize now, that I can make a huge difference in the lives of so many by sharing my story, and by sharing various resources I come across as I work in this space.
  #http://bit.ly/JamesMentalHealthArticle
Find out more about the work I do on my 501c3 non-profit foundation
website www.yourgiftoflife.org Order your copy of James Donaldson's latest book,
#CelebratingYourGiftofLife: From The Verge of Suicide to a Life of Purpose and Joy


Click Here For More Information About James Donaldson



Click here to follow James Donaldson's Blog



The crisis center I directed provided individual counseling and also operated multiple grief support groups. Four of the groups were for survivors of suicide—parents who lost children, youths who lost parents, individuals who lost partners, and others who lost siblings or friends because of suicide. Typically, there were 15 to 20 people in each of these four groups, although sometimes the number was greater, and we needed extra facilitators.


The first night of each group was memorable for one main reason. Upon entering the room, many people gasped. They couldn’t believe that so many other people were there, that so many others had experienced the same tragedy they had experienced, the suicide of a loved one. Until that moment, they felt completely alone.


Our grief counseling director, who was a nationally recognized death educator, started every first night the same way: “I’m so sorry that you’re here, and I’m so glad that you’re here.”


Anytime someone dies, it can be traumatic for survivors. Suicide deaths tend to be the most traumatic of all because of the guilt and stigma attached to them. Survivors think back on every interaction they had with the deceased, especially recent ones, questioning what they did or didn’t do—all of the “what ifs.” Did they miss warning signs? Did they take something the decedent said too lightly? Were they slow to act or did they not act at all, even in the face of what, in retrospect, was ominous?


Support groups for people who have attempted suicide are rare. A few agencies operate them, but they are hard to find, in part because leading this kind of group is daunting. Not only is everyone in it at high risk of suicide, but many suicidal people have emotional needs that can be overwhelming for the facilitator.


Support groups for parents whose children have attempted suicide are even rarer. More often than not, parents seek individual counseling for their child and/or counseling for the family with a private therapist. This, too, can be challenging to find, however, because many clinicians don’t have experience or aren’t comfortable providing this kind of therapy.


One new resource is an hour-long video developed by Zero Suicide titled Supporting Parents. It’s specifically for parents whose child has attempted suicide, and recognizes the fears, anxieties, and questions parents have; the helpless feelings they experience; and the fact that they might feel alone in this, but are not. Many others, sadly, are in the same position.


Having a loved one die or attempt suicide is an isolating experience, but a person doesn’t have to be alone. Help exists.


Zero Suicide is a global health care initiative whose goal isn’t just to prevent suicides but to end them. For anyone who is worried about the safety of a loved one, the only acceptable number when it comes to suicide is zero. Four other resources are noteworthy: The national, three-digit Suicide and Crisis Lifeline (988) connects callers seamlessly to the nearest, certified crisis center so that they can receive immediate, free, confidential counseling. The Crisis Text Line (741741) does the same thing for texters. The Trevor Project (1-888-488-7386) provides crisis intervention and suicide prevention services to lesbian, gay, bisexualtransgender, and questioning youth under the age of 25. The National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) has local chapters throughout the country and provides a variety of support services for mental health consumers and family members.


https://standingabovethecrowd.com/james-donaldson-on-mental-health-finding-help-following-suicide-or-an-attempt-2/

Saturday, August 1, 2026

James Donaldson on Mental Health - Does it matter HOW I praise my child?

James Donaldson on Mental Health - Does it matter HOW I praise my child?
a mother and daughter reading a book on a couchPhoto by olia danilevich on Pexels.com

Clinical Expert: Melanie A. Fernandez, PhD, ABPP


Question


I know I should reinforce good behavior, but does it matter HOW I praise my child?


Answer


There are certainly ways to make praise more effective in teaching, as well as encouraging good behaviors and improving self-esteem in children.


The more descriptive your praise is, the better. So instead of saying, “Good job!” caregivers should specify what was a good job. For instance, “Good job sharing your toys with your brother!” When you’re specific about what a child did well, you’re more likely to bring attention to the child’s effort-as opposed to the outcome of the effort.


It’s important to recognize that praising effort is not the same as praising success; praising your child for being smart doesn’t teach what behavior was so smart. More benefit comes from labeling the smart behavior: “It was so smart how you built a base on your tower before starting to add the other pieces.”


When a child is learning a new behavior, it’s important to offer praise whenever the behavior happens; once the child has learned the behavior, continuing to offer praise, but less frequently, helps the child maintain the behavior learned. Caregivers should be looking for opportunities to praise kids’ positive behaviors — even the behaviors they think kids should already know and be doing regularly.


Finally, praise should be genuine.


#James Donaldson notes:
Welcome to the “next chapter” of my life… being a voice and an advocate for #mentalhealthawarenessandsuicideprevention, especially pertaining to our younger generation of students and student-athletes.
Getting men to speak up and reach out for help and assistance is one of my passions. Us men need to not suffer in silence or drown our sorrows in alcohol, hang out at bars and strip joints, or get involved with drug use.
Having gone through a recent bout of #depression and #suicidalthoughts myself, I realize now, that I can make a huge difference in the lives of so many by sharing my story, and by sharing various resources I come across as I work in this space.
  #http://bit.ly/JamesMentalHealthArticle
Find out more about the work I do on my 501c3 non-profit foundation
website www.yourgiftoflife.org Order your copy of James Donaldson's latest book,
#CelebratingYourGiftofLife: From The Verge of Suicide to a Life of Purpose and Joy


Click Here For More Information About James Donaldson



Click here to follow James Donaldson's Blog



a mother and daughter reading a book on a couchPhoto by olia danilevich on Pexels.com

https://standingabovethecrowd.com/james-donaldson-on-mental-health-does-it-matter-how-i-praise-my-child-2/


James Donaldson on Mental Health - Does it matter HOW I praise my child?
Photo by olia danilevich on Pexels.com

Clinical Expert: Melanie A. Fernandez, PhD, ABPP

Question

I know I should reinforce good behavior, but does it matter HOW I praise my child?

Answer

There are certainly ways to make praise more effective in teaching, as well as encouraging good behaviors and improving self-esteem in children.

The more descriptive your praise is, the better. So instead of saying, “Good job!” caregivers should specify what was a good job. For instance, “Good job sharing your toys with your brother!” When you’re specific about what a child did well, you’re more likely to bring attention to the child’s effort-as opposed to the outcome of the effort.

It’s important to recognize that praising effort is not the same as praising success; praising your child for being smart doesn’t teach what behavior was so smart. More benefit comes from labeling the smart behavior: “It was so smart how you built a base on your tower before starting to add the other pieces.”

When a child is learning a new behavior, it’s important to offer praise whenever the behavior happens; once the child has learned the behavior, continuing to offer praise, but less frequently, helps the child maintain the behavior learned. Caregivers should be looking for opportunities to praise kids’ positive behaviors — even the behaviors they think kids should already know and be doing regularly.

Finally, praise should be genuine.

#James Donaldson notes:Welcome to the “next chapter” of my life… being a voice and an advocate for #mentalhealthawarenessandsuicideprevention, especially pertaining to our younger generation of students and student-athletes.Getting men to speak up and reach out for help and assistance is one of my passions. Us men need to not suffer in silence or drown our sorrows in alcohol, hang out at bars and strip joints, or get involved with drug use.Having gone through a recent bout of #depression and #suicidalthoughts myself, I realize now, that I can make a huge difference in the lives of so many by sharing my story, and by sharing various resources I come across as I work in this space.  #http://bit.ly/JamesMentalHealthArticleFind out more about the work I do on my 501c3 non-profit foundationwebsite www.yourgiftoflife.org Order your copy of James Donaldson's latest book,#CelebratingYourGiftofLife: From The Verge of Suicide to a Life of Purpose and Joy

Click Here For More Information About James Donaldson

Click here to follow James Donaldson's Blog

Photo by olia danilevich on Pexels.com https://standingabovethecrowd.com/?p=16466

Friday, July 31, 2026

James Donaldson on Mental Health - What Is Motivational Interviewing?

James Donaldson on Mental Health - What Is Motivational Interviewing?

A deep dive into a form of therapy that helps teens change unhealthy behaviors



Writer: Faith Wilkins


Clinical Expert: Christine Morrissey, LCSW, MSEd


What You'll Learn


- What are the core principles of motivational interviewing?
- How does motivational interviewing work?
- What are the benefits to using motivational interviewing as a form of treatment?
- Quick Read
- Full Article
- What are the core principles of MI?
- What is the process of treatment?
- What are the benefits of MI?

Motivational Interviewing (MI) is a form of therapy that helps patients build the confidence and self-motivation they need to change unhealthy behaviors, like substance abuse or self-harm. MI is more often used with adolescents than children, as they are more emotionally developed, and have more control over their environment.


The core principles of MI are open-ended questions, affirmations, reflections, and summarization (OARS). They’re based on the idea that clinician and patient are equal partners, and the patient should always feel like they’re in the driver’s seat. Clinicians will use open-ended questions to form a better understanding of the patient’s values and goals for treatment. During these conversations, they will offer affirmations to help teens build the confidence to change. Clinicians will also repeat, rephrase, and summarize things the teen has said, allowing them to reflect on their own values and feel heard in the process.


While the OARS are used throughout each session of MI, there is a clear set of phases that clinician and patient usually go through during treatment. In the engagement phase, therapists create a judgment-free space for teenagers to share their feelings and reservations against change. Having established trust, they move on to the focusing phase and work with teens to identify the specific behaviors they’re willing to change. This process usually takes place over many sessions, as it can involve a lot of trial and error. Clinicians will then enter the evoking phase, discussing the disadvantages of maintaining unhealthy behaviors and encouraging teens to see the benefits to change. Finally, they enter the planning phase, in which clinicians help their patients break down goals in a way that feels manageable and discuss potential barriers. This phase is optional but necessary if the patient needs more guidance.


Many therapists find MI to be beneficial because it can be tailored to the patient’s needs. For instance, if adolescents struggle with depression or anxiety, it can be hard for them to find self-motivation. They can take more intensive therapy like cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) along with MI.


Many of us can relate to wanting to make positive lifestyle changes and struggling to find the motivation to do so. For teenagers, it can be very difficult to make those changes, especially if their parents are pushing them to do it. The psychologists who created motivational interviewing (MI) believed that a collaborative, patient-centered approach to treatment would help people successfully commit to change. MI is a form of therapy that enables patients to gain the self-motivation they need to change unhealthy behaviors.  


The type of person who would benefit the most from MI is someone who shows resistance to therapy or change in general. They lack self-confidence, and even if they really want to change their behavior, they might not know where to start. The habit that they need to change, whether it’s drug abuse, alcoholism, or self-harm, has most likely become a coping mechanism to deal with other stressors in their everyday life. This can make it difficult for them to justify giving that behavior up, regardless of the negative consequences of continuing.


“When you think about a teenager,” says Christine Morrissey, LMSW, MSEd, a clinical social worker, “they’re undergoing a period of developing their sense of self, figuring out who they are. By the time an adolescent gets to treatment, you want to make sure that they believe they’re in the driver’s seat, which is something that doesn’t happen very often for them.”


Many teens go into therapy feeling angry or resentful, unsure why they need treatment. Therapists use MI to help teenagers overcome that ambivalence, giving them the space to explore their own goals and values and see how change can benefit them in the long run. MI is more often used with adolescents than children, as they are more emotionally developed and have more control over their environment.


What are the core principles of MI?


Motivational interviewing provides guidance for drawing out one’s own reasons and capacity for change. Clinicians are encouraged to act as an equal partner and avoid providing unsolicited advice, confrontation, or direction. To effectively guide their patients, they go by four core principles, which are known as the OARS:


- Open-ended questions
- Affirmations of strength, efforts, and past successes
- Reflections
- Summarization

“The idea of open-ended questions is that you can really get a person not only conversing with you about their life and their values and their goals, but also conversing with themselves,” Morrissey adds. 


Many topics can be covered during these sessions, such as how the adolescent’s behaviors align or conflict with their values, identifying the important people in their life, and why change would be important to them.


As an example, Morrissey describes one of her patients, whose parents and friends are concerned about their vaping habits. “In more recent sessions, we’ve been focusing on the vaping behavior, and I started by asking open-ended questions about how much they vape and really inquiring about what vaping does for them and what the drawbacks of it are, with a curious and nonjudgmental stance,” she explains. “With time to explore this, we were able to focus on what a goal might be that aligns with their long-term health goals, and also discuss ambivalence and barriers that get in the way.”


During these conversations, clinicians are careful to offer affirmations that will help build confidence in their patient. For example, if a teen describes an instance where they had to make a difficult decision, the clinician will point out the amount of strength it must have taken for them to do so. The goal is to empower the teen to use that strength in all aspects of their life.


Reflective listening is also an essential part of MI sessions, allowing clinicians to show their patients that they really care about what they have to say. Clinicians will often use this technique to repeat, rephrase, and summarize key takeaways from what has been said during each session. This is meant to get patients to really think about what they’ve just communicated and determine if that’s how they actually feel. Do their actions align with their current values and goals?


#James Donaldson notes:
Welcome to the “next chapter” of my life… being a voice and an advocate for #mentalhealthawarenessandsuicideprevention, especially pertaining to our younger generation of students and student-athletes.
Getting men to speak up and reach out for help and assistance is one of my passions. Us men need to not suffer in silence or drown our sorrows in alcohol, hang out at bars and strip joints, or get involved with drug use.
Having gone through a recent bout of #depression and #suicidalthoughts myself, I realize now, that I can make a huge difference in the lives of so many by sharing my story, and by sharing various resources I come across as I work in this space.
  #http://bit.ly/JamesMentalHealthArticle
Find out more about the work I do on my 501c3 non-profit foundation
website www.yourgiftoflife.org Order your copy of James Donaldson's latest book,
#CelebratingYourGiftofLife: From The Verge of Suicide to a Life of Purpose and Joy


Click Here For More Information About James Donaldson



Click here to follow James Donaldson's Blog



What is the process of treatment?


While the OARS are used by clinicians throughout each session of MI, there is a clear set of phases that clinician and patient usually go through during treatment. Depending on the needs of the patient, MI sessions can flow back and forth between phases. It’s just important that each phase is included.


Engagement: In this phase, clinicians want to get to know their patients and establish trust. It is made clear that these sessions are for them and not their parents, and anything they say will be confidential. The idea is to create a comfortable space for teenagers to share their feelings and possible ambivalence towards change. The purpose of this phase isn’t to come up with solutions quite yet, but to allow clinicians to meet their patients where they are and adjust to resistance rather than confront it head on.


Focusing: Once a solid relationship has been established between patient and clinician, they can then come up with the focus of treatment. At this stage of MI, most patients are unclear about the direction they want to take regarding recovery or making the desired lifestyle change. Still, clinicians want to make sure that this is a collaboration. They will often begin each session by discussing agenda items, making suggestions if needed, but ultimately allowing their patients to decide how to focus the sessions. Not only does this provide teenagers with the autonomy they need, but it also serves as a check-in for clinicians. They can assess whether their own goals for the sessions align with their patient’s and adjust accordingly.


This process is often gradual and can take place over several sessions, as clinicians must work with their patients to identify “change targets,” or the specific behaviors that need to change. They can draw upon the teenager’s values, which would’ve been established during the engagement phase, to identify their goals.


Morrissey explains, “The focusing is probably going to start wide and over time get narrower because over time, someone might realize that they kind of overshot their goal. If you’ve ever thought about starting a new exercise regimen and you’re like, ‘I’m going to run 10 miles every single day,’ and then over time you’re like, ‘Oh, that actually isn’t sustainable.’ Focusing would be like, ‘I want to move my body for at least 10 minutes a day.’ That can take a lot of time and trial and error.”


Evoking: The focusing phase can be difficult for teens, and they might display a great deal of resistance to setting goals. At this point, clinicians will begin the process of evoking “change talk.” This refers to any kind of statement that supports making a change. For example, a patient might say that they need to stop abusing substances, but don’t think they can do it. The change talk in that statement would be, “I need to stop abusing substances.” The clinician will keep them from going down a more negative line of thinking by asking, “What are the reasons you think you need to stop abusing substances?” With this technique, clinicians draw out the wants and needs of their patient without providing unwelcome advice.


At this stage, therapists can also work to reduce ambivalence towards change by first discussing the clear disadvantages to the patient maintaining their current unhealthy behavior. Clinicians will then use open-ended questioning and affirmations to encourage their patients to envision the benefits to change and to believe that this change is possible. Throughout these conversations, they remain optimistic and supportive while patients process their emotions towards changing their behavior.


Planning: The final phase of MI is planning. This is an optional phase but necessary when patients need more guidance on the steps that they need to take to change their behavior. It is at this point that they discuss barriers to their goals and how they might get past those barriers. Clinicians help their patients come up with a “change plan,” breaking down goals in a way that feels manageable. They also discuss what they might do if they experience setbacks.


Morrissey further explains this process when describing a session with one of her patients: “We also talked about what would happen if they ‘slipped up’ and vaped and discussed ways of using self-compassion to practice acceptance, combat all-or-nothing thinking, and get right back to goal-oriented behavior. . . there’s a lot of transitioning between stages, especially when there is ambivalence about change or slip-ups that come up that don’t align with the person’s goals.”


What are the benefits of MI?


The benefit to using motivational interviewing for teens is that it’s highly flexible and individualized. Depending on the patient’s needs, it can be used as standalone treatment, or used in tandem with other more intensive forms of treatment like cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT). This can especially be true for adolescents who havemood disorders. For instance, if they’re struggling with depression or trauma, it could be really difficult for them to find self-motivation without the help of more comprehensive therapy.


“I really think it’s such a benefit to the client that they are the person who is the expert of their life, who knows themselves the best, who if they’re the person coming up with the solutions, they’re likely to be more realistic to their life. I think from a clinician’s perspective, it’s really fun work to do because you’re really tapping into someone’s inherent abilities. I think for the client themselves, it’s really beneficial because they get that autonomy,” says Morrissey.


https://standingabovethecrowd.com/james-donaldson-on-mental-health-what-is-motivational-interviewing/


James Donaldson on Mental Health - What Is Motivational Interviewing?
A deep dive into a form of therapy that helps teens change unhealthy behaviors

Writer: Faith Wilkins

Clinical Expert: Christine Morrissey, LCSW, MSEd

What You'll Learn

- What are the core principles of motivational interviewing?

- How does motivational interviewing work?

- What are the benefits to using motivational interviewing as a form of treatment?

- Quick Read

- Full Article

- What are the core principles of MI?

- What is the process of treatment?

- What are the benefits of MI?

Motivational Interviewing (MI) is a form of therapy that helps patients build the confidence and self-motivation they need to change unhealthy behaviors, like substance abuse or self-harm. MI is more often used with adolescents than children, as they are more emotionally developed, and have more control over their environment.

The core principles of MI are open-ended questions, affirmations, reflections, and summarization (OARS). They’re based on the idea that clinician and patient are equal partners, and the patient should always feel like they’re in the driver’s seat. Clinicians will use open-ended questions to form a better understanding of the patient’s values and goals for treatment. During these conversations, they will offer affirmations to help teens build the confidence to change. Clinicians will also repeat, rephrase, and summarize things the teen has said, allowing them to reflect on their own values and feel heard in the process.

While the OARS are used throughout each session of MI, there is a clear set of phases that clinician and patient usually go through during treatment. In the engagement phase, therapists create a judgment-free space for teenagers to share their feelings and reservations against change. Having established trust, they move on to the focusing phase and work with teens to identify the specific behaviors they’re willing to change. This process usually takes place over many sessions, as it can involve a lot of trial and error. Clinicians will then enter the evoking phase, discussing the disadvantages of maintaining unhealthy behaviors and encouraging teens to see the benefits to change. Finally, they enter the planning phase, in which clinicians help their patients break down goals in a way that feels manageable and discuss potential barriers. This phase is optional but necessary if the patient needs more guidance.

Many therapists find MI to be beneficial because it can be tailored to the patient’s needs. For instance, if adolescents struggle with depression or anxiety, it can be hard for them to find self-motivation. They can take more intensive therapy like cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) along with MI.

Many of us can relate to wanting to make positive lifestyle changes and struggling to find the motivation to do so. For teenagers, it can be very difficult to make those changes, especially if their parents are pushing them to do it. The psychologists who created motivational interviewing (MI) believed that a collaborative, patient-centered approach to treatment would help people successfully commit to change. MI is a form of therapy that enables patients to gain the self-motivation they need to change unhealthy behaviors.  

The type of person who would benefit the most from MI is someone who shows resistance to therapy or change in general. They lack self-confidence, and even if they really want to change their behavior, they might not know where to start. The habit that they need to change, whether it’s drug abuse, alcoholism, or self-harm, has most likely become a coping mechanism to deal with other stressors in their everyday life. This can make it difficult for them to justify giving that behavior up, regardless of the negative consequences of continuing.

“When you think about a teenager,” says Christine Morrissey, LMSW, MSEd, a clinical social worker, “they’re undergoing a period of developing their sense of self, figuring out who they are. By the time an adolescent gets to treatment, you want to make sure that they believe they’re in the driver’s seat, which is something that doesn’t happen very often for them.”

Many teens go into therapy feeling angry or resentful, unsure why they need treatment. Therapists use MI to help teenagers overcome that ambivalence, giving them the space to explore their own goals and values and see how change can benefit them in the long run. MI is more often used with adolescents than children, as they are more emotionally developed and have more control over their environment.

What are the core principles of MI?

Motivational interviewing provides guidance for drawing out one’s own reasons and capacity for change. Clinicians are encouraged to act as an equal partner and avoid providing unsolicited advice, confrontation, or direction. To effectively guide their patients, they go by four core principles, which are known as the OARS:

- Open-ended questions

- Affirmations of strength, efforts, and past successes

- Reflections

- Summarization

“The idea of open-ended questions is that you can really get a person not only conversing with you about their life and their values and their goals, but also conversing with themselves,” Morrissey adds. 

Many topics can be covered during these sessions, such as how the adolescent’s behaviors align or conflict with their values, identifying the important people in their life, and why change would be important to them.

As an example, Morrissey describes one of her patients, whose parents and friends are concerned about their vaping habits. “In more recent sessions, we’ve been focusing on the vaping behavior, and I started by asking open-ended questions about how much they vape and really inquiring about what vaping does for them and what the drawbacks of it are, with a curious and nonjudgmental stance,” she explains. “With time to explore this, we were able to focus on what a goal might be that aligns with their long-term health goals, and also discuss ambivalence and barriers that get in the way.”

During these conversations, clinicians are careful to offer affirmations that will help build confidence in their patient. For example, if a teen describes an instance where they had to make a difficult decision, the clinician will point out the amount of strength it must have taken for them to do so. The goal is to empower the teen to use that strength in all aspects of their life.

Reflective listening is also an essential part of MI sessions, allowing clinicians to show their patients that they really care about what they have to say. Clinicians will often use this technique to repeat, rephrase, and summarize key takeaways from what has been said during each session. This is meant to get patients to really think about what they’ve just communicated and determine if that’s how they actually feel. Do their actions align with their current values and goals?

#James Donaldson notes:Welcome to the “next chapter” of my life… being a voice and an advocate for #mentalhealthawarenessandsuicideprevention, especially pertaining to our younger generation of students and student-athletes.Getting men to speak up and reach out for help and assistance is one of my passions. Us men need to not suffer in silence or drown our sorrows in alcohol, hang out at bars and strip joints, or get involved with drug use.Having gone through a recent bout of #depression and #suicidalthoughts myself, I realize now, that I can make a huge difference in the lives of so many by sharing my story, and by sharing various resources I come across as I work in this space.  #http://bit.ly/JamesMentalHealthArticleFind out more about the work I do on my 501c3 non-profit foundationwebsite www.yourgiftoflife.org Order your copy of James Donaldson's latest book,#CelebratingYourGiftofLife: From The Verge of Suicide to a Life of Purpose and Joy

Click Here For More Information About James Donaldson

Click here to follow James Donaldson's Blog

What is the process of treatment?

While the OARS are used by clinicians throughout each session of MI, there is a clear set of phases that clinician and patient usually go through during treatment. Depending on the needs of the patient, MI sessions can flow back and forth between phases. It’s just important that each phase is included.

Engagement: In this phase, clinicians want to get to know their patients and establish trust. It is made clear that these sessions are for them and not their parents, and anything they say will be confidential. The idea is to create a comfortable space for teenagers to share their feelings and possible ambivalence towards change. The purpose of this phase isn’t to come up with solutions quite yet, but to allow clinicians to meet their patients where they are and adjust to resistance rather than confront it head on.

Focusing: Once a solid relationship has been established between patient and clinician, they can then come up with the focus of treatment. At this stage of MI, most patients are unclear about the direction they want to take regarding recovery or making the desired lifestyle change. Still, clinicians want to make sure that this is a collaboration. They will often begin each session by discussing agenda items, making suggestions if needed, but ultimately allowing their patients to decide how to focus the sessions. Not only does this provide teenagers with the autonomy they need, but it also serves as a check-in for clinicians. They can assess whether their own goals for the sessions align with their patient’s and adjust accordingly.

This process is often gradual and can take place over several sessions, as clinicians must work with their patients to identify “change targets,” or the specific behaviors that need to change. They can draw upon the teenager’s values, which would’ve been established during the engagement phase, to identify their goals.

Morrissey explains, “The focusing is probably going to start wide and over time get narrower because over time, someone might realize that they kind of overshot their goal. If you’ve ever thought about starting a new exercise regimen and you’re like, ‘I’m going to run 10 miles every single day,’ and then over time you’re like, ‘Oh, that actually isn’t sustainable.’ Focusing would be like, ‘I want to move my body for at least 10 minutes a day.’ That can take a lot of time and trial and error.”

Evoking: The focusing phase can be difficult for teens, and they might display a great deal of resistance to setting goals. At this point, clinicians will begin the process of evoking “change talk.” This refers to any kind of statement that supports making a change. For example, a patient might say that they need to stop abusing substances, but don’t think they can do it. The change talk in that statement would be, “I need to stop abusing substances.” The clinician will keep them from going down a more negative line of thinking by asking, “What are the reasons you think you need to stop abusing substances?” With this technique, clinicians draw out the wants and needs of their patient without providing unwelcome advice.

At this stage, therapists can also work to reduce ambivalence towards change by first discussing the clear disadvantages to the patient maintaining their current unhealthy behavior. Clinicians will then use open-ended questioning and affirmations to encourage their patients to envision the benefits to change and to believe that this change is possible. Throughout these conversations, they remain optimistic and supportive while patients process their emotions towards changing their behavior.

Planning: The final phase of MI is planning. This is an optional phase but necessary when patients need more guidance on the steps that they need to take to change their behavior. It is at this point that they discuss barriers to their goals and how they might get past those barriers. Clinicians help their patients come up with a “change plan,” breaking down goals in a way that feels manageable. They also discuss what they might do if they experience setbacks.

Morrissey further explains this process when describing a session with one of her patients: “We also talked about what would happen if they ‘slipped up’ and vaped and discussed ways of using self-compassion to practice acceptance, combat all-or-nothing thinking, and get right back to goal-oriented behavior. . . there’s a lot of transitioning between stages, especially when there is ambivalence about change or slip-ups that come up that don’t align with the person’s goals.”

What are the benefits of MI?

The benefit to using motivational interviewing for teens is that it’s highly flexible and individualized. Depending on the patient’s needs, it can be used as standalone treatment, or used in tandem with other more intensive forms of treatment like cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT). This can especially be true for adolescents who havemood disorders. For instance, if they’re struggling with depression or trauma, it could be really difficult for them to find self-motivation without the help of more comprehensive therapy.

“I really think it’s such a benefit to the client that they are the person who is the expert of their life, who knows themselves the best, who if they’re the person coming up with the solutions, they’re likely to be more realistic to their life. I think from a clinician’s perspective, it’s really fun work to do because you’re really tapping into someone’s inherent abilities. I think for the client themselves, it’s really beneficial because they get that autonomy,” says Morrissey. https://standingabovethecrowd.com/?p=16459

Thursday, July 30, 2026



James Donaldson on Mental Health - People Are Sharing The Things That Helped Them Get Through A
People opened up about the choices and moments that helped them get through their darkest periods and begin feeling like themselves again.

by Victoria Vouloumanos

BuzzFeed Contributor

Note: This post contains mentions of depression, suicidal ideation, substance use, and mental health treatment.

When things feel impossibly heavy, even small decisions can matter more than we realize. So when respondents were asked "During a very dark period, what was the best thing you ever did for your mental health?" people shared the choices, habits, and moments that helped them stay afloat — and, in many cases, slowly find their way back to themselves. From reaching out for help to making quiet, everyday changes, these are 28 things people say made a real difference when they needed it most:

1. "I acquired a cat. Somehow, 'let me ask around' was heard as 'I'll take him,' and I didn't know how to get out of it. I was in no mental state to take on a cat. But every day, I had to get up and feed him. My little accidental housemate needed me, and I couldn't bring myself to not keep going, one day at a time, to carry on taking care of him. I didn't rescue a cat. He rescued me."

2. "When I'm having a bad day, I go leave long, descriptive five-star reviews for every small shop, restaurant, etc., I've been to recently."

3. "Did the things my depression was telling me I didn't want to do. Go outside, see people, take care of myself."

4. "Get out and go for a walk. In nature. On a trail. Breathe the air. No phone."

5. "Honestly? Move across the freaking country. I went to a place where I didn't know anyone and where no one knew me. I got away from the people and the things that caused my depression. In retrospect, it was the best move I could have made. I made new friends, built a new life, and never went back. My mental health is so much better after leaving a small town with nothing but dead ends."

6. "Sounds daft, but I watched an episode of Red Dwarf to pass the time until everyone had gone to bed so they wouldn't be around when I'd take my own life. That one episode turned into a two-series binge. A week went by, and I'd finished the series. Luckily, my dad had them all on VHS. It sounds silly, too, but that first genuine laugh broke something open inside me. I was crying with laughter while trying to stay quiet. Some moments were just tears, too, but the catharsis afterward was unreal. I got myself help afterward and am here 16 years later."

7. "Quit drinking. Full stop."

8. "Anything. I was in a rut for years where I did nothing full-time and watched my life go by. I had horrible habits: not exercising, smoking a pack of cigarettes a day, and drinking four energy drinks a day. Things changed when I started participating in my own life and building better habits. You aren't going to feel much different tomorrow, but you can feel transformed in a year. So go for a walk, eat a piece of fruit, call your grandma. Do little things every day that positively benefit your life, and over time, they cascade into major changes. Whatever you need to do differs person to person, but the fundamentals are the same: you want to build better habits."

9. "I went on antidepressants, and they brought me back to who I used to be."

10. "Got my ass in the gym. I hate it when the experts are right."

11. "Asked for help, got sober."

12. "Treated myself like a plant. Mechanical self-care. As a default, I ran through a list: Have I watered and fed myself? Moved my body? Gotten sunlight? Talked with another human and attempted a connection, even briefly? Not abused my body with things that regress self-care, like overly people-pleasing or having an overly caffeinated drink that would cause a crash? As a base, I did feel better, which gave me the energy and mental power to do other good things for myself. It cycles up when you're consistent. Not everyone is great at consistency, but giving yourself grace and trying again is a skill that can be acquired, and it has helped me a lot personally."

13. "Went to see a doctor to get my mental health issues addressed."

14. "Went no contact with my entire family. Best decision I ever made for my mental health."

15. "First instance: The day I planned to complete suicide, I spent hours ruminating about it. I had the means, the time, and a plan. I called a friend instead. We went to the park. He still doesn't know he saved my life. I didn't tell him, at least, but he's very perceptive, so I wouldn't be surprised if he already knew. Second instance: I went to a psychiatrist. I still have no idea where I gathered the strength to do that. I got diagnosed with depression and got medication. Life certainly isn't breezy, but oh lord, is it better."

16. "Quit Facebook. It was the easiest and quickest substantial improvement in mental health I've ever had."

17. "Yoga. It does wonders for my anxiety."

18. "Watch stand-up comedy each night before sleep."

19. "Gaming and self-care basics: sunlight, exercise, diet, sleep, hobbies, a gratitude journal, cognitive behavioral therapy techniques, and a holiday."

20. "Called each of my closest girlfriends at 11:30 p.m. until one answered, and sobbed openly while admitting I wasn't feeling safe alone anymore. She listened and comforted me for an hour and, in her own way, helped me make a safety plan. I was at a crisis center the following day, getting my first round of antidepressants. It drastically improved my life."

21. "Did my best to get enough sleep. Walking is good, but sleep is the game changer."

#James Donaldson notes:Welcome to the “next chapter” of my life… being a voice and an advocate for #mentalhealthawarenessandsuicideprevention, especially pertaining to our younger generation of students and student-athletes.Getting men to speak up and reach out for help and assistance is one of my passions. Us men need to not suffer in silence or drown our sorrows in alcohol, hang out at bars and strip joints, or get involved with drug use.Having gone through a recent bout of #depression and #suicidalthoughts myself, I realize now, that I can make a huge difference in the lives of so many by sharing my story, and by sharing various resources I come across as I work in this space.  #http://bit.ly/JamesMentalHealthArticleFind out more about the work I do on my 501c3 non-profit foundationwebsite www.yourgiftoflife.org Order your copy of James Donaldson's latest book,#CelebratingYourGiftofLife: From The Verge of Suicide to a Life of Purpose and Joy

Click Here For More Information About James Donaldson

Click here to follow James Donaldson's Blog

22. "I was dealing with a sudden onset of horrific, nonstop panic attacks, probably the culmination of way too much in my life. My New Year's resolution that year was to shut down. I closed everything that wasn't essential, socially. I had trusted people that I'd see occasionally, but outside of that, I woke up, went to work, came home, and repeated. No new social interactions. Like the Moby song: 'I had to close down everything, I had to close down my mind. Too many things could cut me, too much could make me blind.' For some people, this would be bad, obviously. But for me, it was a factory reset. It helped me reframe happiness into something more achievable. The only thing I had to look forward to each day was dinner, and I learned to get excited about that. It numbed the raw nerve I felt like, so everything wasn't a trigger anymore. This isn't something I'd recommend to everyone, but it worked for me."

23. "I listened to the audiobook Spontaneous Happiness, and it changed my life. The easy steps you can implement into your daily life are ones I continue to do today, 15 years later."

24. "Taking baths, buying a full set of Sherlock Holmes audiobooks, and listening to them in the tub. Love it."

25. "I took Facebook and Instagram off my phone. I kept my accounts, but only on my laptop, and set strict limits. I got rid of TikTok altogether. It helped more than I can say."

26. "Reminding myself that hope springs eternal and that things are evolving. As the sun rises, a new day is an opportunity to change something. Reminding myself of what I can and can't control. And faking it until it works. Have the shower. Wash your face. Get fresh air. One foot in front of the other. And getting therapy. It wasn't easy, but it was worth every struggle. Change happens. Taking a tiny step and taking control, that was key."

27. "Take a shower. It was awful in the beginning, but I did feel better by the end."

28. "I stopped smoking weed. I was a daily, all-day user. My ability to make dopamine was so atrophied that nothing made me feel good, except the weed, and then only for five to 10 minutes before the negative side effects took over: paranoia, demotivation, depression. It's counterintuitive, but now that I've been clean for several months, my ability to feel good after a decent meal, a hot shower, or watching a sunset has started to return. I won't lie. None of these was easy."

If you're going through something similar, you're not alone — and you don't have to figure it out all at once. Sometimes progress looks like asking for help. Sometimes it looks like showing up for yourself in small, quiet ways. And sometimes it starts with reading a story that reminds you that change, however slow, is possible.

Dial 988 in the United States to reach the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline. The 988 Lifeline is available 24/7/365. Your conversations are free and confidential. Other international suicide helplines can be found at befrienders.org. The Trevor Project, which provides help and suicide-prevention resources for LGBTQ youth, is 1-866-488-7386.

The National Alliance on Mental Illness helpline is 1-800-950-6264 (NAMI) and provides information and referral services; GoodTherapy.org is an association of mental health professionals from more than 25 countries who support efforts to reduce harm in therapy. https://standingabovethecrowd.com/?p=16457