What it could mean when kids just don't seem to be trying very hard in school

Photo by Aissa Bouabellou on Pexels.com

Writer: Danielle Cohen

Clinical Expert: Matthew Cruger, PhD

What You'll Learn

- Why do some kids lack motivation in school?

- What should you do if your child is not motivated?

- What kinds of underlying challenges can get in the way of kids’ motivation?

- Quick Read

- Full Article

- Gather information

- Are there social factors?

- Does your child have a skills deficit?

- It could really just be boredom

- What other things undermine kids in school?

- It’s a process

Kids of all ages sometimes struggle to get motivated in school. Maybe they fight doing homework, let their grades drop, or just don’t seem excited about learning. If you notice that your child has issues with motivation, the first step is to figure out what is standing in their way.

Start by gathering information about what exactly worries you. Talking to the child’s teacher can help you understand whether your expectations are reasonable and whether they’ve noticed a problem. If your child recently changed schools or started a new phase of school (like kindergarten or middle school), they may be adjusting to the transition. Talk to your child, too. If they say they’re bored, what do they mean by that? Kids who are feeling anxious or frustrated might need help to find the right words. It could also be that they’re withdrawing from academics in order to fit in with friends or seem cool to other kids.

One of the most common reasons that kids lack motivation is trouble with academic skills. They might have a learning disorder, a language disorder, or difficulty with executive functions. The issue could also be an underlying mental health challenge like ADHD, anxiety, depression or OCD. In rare cases, students who are academically gifted may be simply bored by school and need more challenging work to stay motivated.

If you think that a learning or mental health issue might be holding your child back, getting them evaluated by a professional can help. Treatment can often reduce their symptoms and help them get excited about school again. And if your child does not have a diagnosable problem, there are still parenting strategies you can use to support them.

It can happen at any point between kindergarten and high school graduation — and even after that. It’s a common but serious source of worry for parents: You start to notice a lack of motivation and commitment in your child’s attitude towards school.

Maybe they don’t seem enthusiastic to learn new things. Maybe they’re not doing their homework. Maybe their grades are dropping. Maybe a fight occurs whenever you try to sit them down to do work.

Whatever the specific problem is, many parents find themselves wondering why a child just doesn’t seem to be trying very hard in school, and how they can help them get motivated.

Gather information

There are many potential reasons that a child might be turned off by school. Here are some first steps you can take to investigate what might be happening:

- Define your concerns clearly. What are the behaviors that make you think they’re not engaged? A close look at what they’re doing — or not doing — will help you identify what may be happening.

- If they say they’re bored, what do they mean? Many children use the word “bored” to describe how they feel in class, but their definition of “bored” may not match yours. Sometimes kids who are challenged or frustrated aren’t sure what to call the feeling.

- Talk to the teacher. Your child’s teacher is one of the best resources you can use to both help you identify the issues and then find ways to address them. “The teacher can offer six hours of a day worth of information about what the child is doing,” notes Rachel Busman, PsyD, a clinical psychologist.

- Clarify your expectations. Get a reality check from the teacher to make sure your expectations are realistic for your kid’s age and developmental level.

- Is it part of the learning process? “There’s a normal amount of trepidation that comes with learning new things,” explains Dr. Busman. “A child who’s learning to read, for instance, may not be ‘motivated’ because it’s new for them and it’s not the easiest thing.” The teacher can let you know if they think your child is just going through a rough patch.

- Are there changes at school? It’s common for students to stumble during their first couple months of kindergarten or middle school because these transitions require a lot of adjustment. “A lot of preschool settings are much more social and emotional and not so academic, so it’s a big change to go from being in preschool to kindergarten,” notes Laura Fuhrman, PsyD, a neuropsychologist. Ken Schuster, PsyD, a neuropsychologist at the Child Mind Institute and former teacher observes a similar pattern at the beginning of middle school, where kids are expected to be much more independent and organized.

- Has your child changed schools? In the same way, changing schools also may involve some academic struggles as your child adjusts to a new environment.

Are there social factors?

Dr. Fuhrman notes that starting in middle school, kids’ attitudes become subject to a host of new social interactions and pressures. Unfortunately, kids who do well in school sometimes encounter social isolation, and to avoid being labeled as a geek or a nerd they may withdraw from academics.

“In middle school, kids don’t want to be different,” she says, “and they might try to develop an identity that reduces their experience of shame and humiliation in front of their peers.”

While you may have little control over this situation as a parent, the best thing you can do to resist it is to continue fostering a love of learning. Look for opportunities for your child to pursue their interests outside of school and meet other kids who share their interests.

Does your child have a skills deficit?

If you continue to see an unmotivated kid who is underperforming, it may be because they haven’t developed the skills they need to thrive, because of a learning or language disorder, or executive function challenges. When a child encounters difficulty, especially if the problem hasn’t been identified, their reaction may be to stop trying in the area that’s frustrating for them.

“We call it a learned helplessness,” Dr. Fuhrman explains. “When they find they’re not meeting the level of success, kids have a tendency to give up, because whatever they’re doing just isn’t working.”

These difficulties may pop up at different times, as each year’s curriculum requires higher levels of skill. Kids with reading disorders like dyslexia may begin to struggle around first grade, when reading becomes important, as well as third grade, when material starts to get more complex. Many executive functioning issues become visible at the beginning of middle school, where students are expected to be a lot more independently organized, both with their work and with their belongings.

As these skills deficits become more and more difficult to hide, students who are embarrassed or frustrated by their struggles often stop trying to conquer them. With help, kids with skills deficits can eventually start to excel in school by learning ways to manage these difficulties and by utilizing school resources that enable them to play to their strengths.

It could really just be boredom

Though it occurs a lot less often than parents suspect, some children are simply not being stimulated enough by their school settings. These may be what experts call “gifted” kids, whose intellectual capabilities are much stronger than most of their peers. These students will often pursue their own academic interests (whether these be reading, writing, math, or science) outside of school and find the curriculum, which is going over what they’ve already learned on their own time, unstimulating.

Another way that giftedness can cause kids to disconnect is when they’re gifted in very specific areas, and they’re so fascinated with those areas that they’d rather think about them during class than pay attention to what their teachers are saying.

But Matthew Cruger, PhD, a psychologist at the Child Mind Institute who has worked with a lot of gifted children, is skeptical that a child’s lack of motivation can be caused solely by giftedness. “I would expect the most gifted kids to find something compelling about the curriculum,” Dr. Cruger says. If nothing in school piques a child’s interest, the child could be gifted and also have a diagnosis that’s holding them back and undermining motivation.

#James Donaldson notes:Welcome to the “next chapter” of my life… being a voice and an advocate for #mentalhealthawarenessandsuicideprevention, especially pertaining to our younger generation of students and student-athletes.Getting men to speak up and reach out for help and assistance is one of my passions. Us men need to not suffer in silence or drown our sorrows in alcohol, hang out at bars and strip joints, or get involved with drug use.Having gone through a recent bout of #depression and #suicidalthoughts myself, I realize now, that I can make a huge difference in the lives of so many by sharing my story, and by sharing various resources I come across as I work in this space.  #http://bit.ly/JamesMentalHealthArticleFind out more about the work I do on my 501c3 non-profit foundationwebsite www.yourgiftoflife.org Order your copy of James Donaldson's latest book,#CelebratingYourGiftofLife: From The Verge of Suicide to a Life of Purpose and Joy

Click Here For More Information About James Donaldson

Click here to follow James Donaldson's Blog

What other things undermine kids in school?

While learning disorders and other skills deficits are most commonly associated with a lack of interest in school, there are other common diagnoses that manifest in this way.

- ADHD After learning disorders, ADHD is probably the most common cause for kids to fall behind in school. The combination of energy, impatience, impulsivity, and distractibility can make it incredibly difficult for a child with ADHD to function in a typical classroom. “Kids with ADHD may find school particularly challenging because they often miss out on cues and information that’s important for them to do well,” explains Kristin Carothers, PhD, a psychologist. “They also may be getting lots of negative attention from teachers because their behavior can be disruptive, and that might result in them being less motivated to perform.”

- Anxiety Separation anxiety might cause a child to be distracted or even refuse to attend school because they’re so worried something might happen when they’re away from their parents. The problem could also be social anxiety, where interacting with their classmates and teachers makes a kid so worried they’d rather skip class than participate in a small work group, or never raise their hand. Kids with generalized anxiety also worry about academics, and may become so stressed about their work being perfect that they just give up because they feel it’s not good enough.

- Depression One of the key symptoms of depression is a reduced interest in activities that once interested a child. If there was once a time when your child did feel stimulated by school, and the newfound disinterest is coupled with other symptoms like irritability or sadness, it’s possible they are suffering from depression.

- OCD In the same way that anxiety can prevent a child from focusing in class, OCD can also become a barrier to their learning. Kids with OCD could be so worried about making a mistake that they feel the need to reread everything or erase and rewrite their homework over and over again until it’s perfect. They may even feel like their desk is contaminated, and spend so much time worrying about it that they’re not aware of what’s going on in class. They might develop obsessions and rituals that can get in the way of their schoolwork and make it seem as if they have very little desire to learn.

It’s a process

If your child has a disorder that is getting in the way of learning, treatment will help them become more engaged and motivated in school.

For kids who don’t need treatment but do need help getting motivated, there are some things parents and teachers can do to help. And keep in mind that some kids will develop motivation as they get older. “Your kid may be at a developmental period where it’s harder to have their own motivation,” says Dr. Carothers, “but that doesn’t mean they won’t be successful in the future.

Frequently Asked Questions

How can I motivate my child?

To motivate your child, you can start by gathering information from your child about what’s getting in the way of their motivation. It could be that they are experiencing anxiety or a mental health disorder, or maybe they are bored and not being challenged enough.

Photo by Aissa Bouabellou on Pexels.com https://standingabovethecrowd.com/?p=16400

James Donaldson on Mental Health - Does Your Child Lack Motivation?

What it could mean when kids just don't seem to be trying very hard in school

Photo by Aissa Bouabellou on Pexels.com

Writer: Danielle Cohen

Clinical Expert: Matthew Cruger, PhD

What You'll Learn

- Why do some kids lack motivation in school?
- What should you do if your child is not motivated?
- What kinds of underlying challenges can get in the way of kids’ motivation?
- Quick Read
- Full Article
- Gather information
- Are there social factors?
- Does your child have a skills deficit?
- It could really just be boredom
- What other things undermine kids in school?
- It’s a process

Kids of all ages sometimes struggle to get motivated in school. Maybe they fight doing homework, let their grades drop, or just don’t seem excited about learning. If you notice that your child has issues with motivation, the first step is to figure out what is standing in their way.

Start by gathering information about what exactly worries you. Talking to the child’s teacher can help you understand whether your expectations are reasonable and whether they’ve noticed a problem. If your child recently changed schools or started a new phase of school (like kindergarten or middle school), they may be adjusting to the transition. Talk to your child, too. If they say they’re bored, what do they mean by that? Kids who are feeling anxious or frustrated might need help to find the right words. It could also be that they’re withdrawing from academics in order to fit in with friends or seem cool to other kids.

One of the most common reasons that kids lack motivation is trouble with academic skills. They might have a learning disorder, a language disorder, or difficulty with executive functions. The issue could also be an underlying mental health challenge like ADHD, anxiety, depression or OCD. In rare cases, students who are academically gifted may be simply bored by school and need more challenging work to stay motivated.

If you think that a learning or mental health issue might be holding your child back, getting them evaluated by a professional can help. Treatment can often reduce their symptoms and help them get excited about school again. And if your child does not have a diagnosable problem, there are still parenting strategies you can use to support them.

It can happen at any point between kindergarten and high school graduation — and even after that. It’s a common but serious source of worry for parents: You start to notice a lack of motivation and commitment in your child’s attitude towards school.

Maybe they don’t seem enthusiastic to learn new things. Maybe they’re not doing their homework. Maybe their grades are dropping. Maybe a fight occurs whenever you try to sit them down to do work.

Whatever the specific problem is, many parents find themselves wondering why a child just doesn’t seem to be trying very hard in school, and how they can help them get motivated.

Gather information

There are many potential reasons that a child might be turned off by school. Here are some first steps you can take to investigate what might be happening:

- Define your concerns clearly. What are the behaviors that make you think they’re not engaged? A close look at what they’re doing — or not doing — will help you identify what may be happening.
- If they say they’re bored, what do they mean? Many children use the word “bored” to describe how they feel in class, but their definition of “bored” may not match yours. Sometimes kids who are challenged or frustrated aren’t sure what to call the feeling.
- Talk to the teacher. Your child’s teacher is one of the best resources you can use to both help you identify the issues and then find ways to address them. “The teacher can offer six hours of a day worth of information about what the child is doing,” notes Rachel Busman, PsyD, a clinical psychologist.
- Clarify your expectations. Get a reality check from the teacher to make sure your expectations are realistic for your kid’s age and developmental level.
- Is it part of the learning process? “There’s a normal amount of trepidation that comes with learning new things,” explains Dr. Busman. “A child who’s learning to read, for instance, may not be ‘motivated’ because it’s new for them and it’s not the easiest thing.” The teacher can let you know if they think your child is just going through a rough patch.
- Are there changes at school? It’s common for students to stumble during their first couple months of kindergarten or middle school because these transitions require a lot of adjustment. “A lot of preschool settings are much more social and emotional and not so academic, so it’s a big change to go from being in preschool to kindergarten,” notes Laura Fuhrman, PsyD, a neuropsychologist. Ken Schuster, PsyD, a neuropsychologist at the Child Mind Institute and former teacher observes a similar pattern at the beginning of middle school, where kids are expected to be much more independent and organized.
- Has your child changed schools? In the same way, changing schools also may involve some academic struggles as your child adjusts to a new environment.

Are there social factors?

Dr. Fuhrman notes that starting in middle school, kids’ attitudes become subject to a host of new social interactions and pressures. Unfortunately, kids who do well in school sometimes encounter social isolation, and to avoid being labeled as a geek or a nerd they may withdraw from academics.

“In middle school, kids don’t want to be different,” she says, “and they might try to develop an identity that reduces their experience of shame and humiliation in front of their peers.”

While you may have little control over this situation as a parent, the best thing you can do to resist it is to continue fostering a love of learning. Look for opportunities for your child to pursue their interests outside of school and meet other kids who share their interests.

Does your child have a skills deficit?

If you continue to see an unmotivated kid who is underperforming, it may be because they haven’t developed the skills they need to thrive, because of a learning or language disorder, or executive function challenges. When a child encounters difficulty, especially if the problem hasn’t been identified, their reaction may be to stop trying in the area that’s frustrating for them.

“We call it a learned helplessness,” Dr. Fuhrman explains. “When they find they’re not meeting the level of success, kids have a tendency to give up, because whatever they’re doing just isn’t working.”

These difficulties may pop up at different times, as each year’s curriculum requires higher levels of skill. Kids with reading disorders like dyslexia may begin to struggle around first grade, when reading becomes important, as well as third grade, when material starts to get more complex. Many executive functioning issues become visible at the beginning of middle school, where students are expected to be a lot more independently organized, both with their work and with their belongings.

As these skills deficits become more and more difficult to hide, students who are embarrassed or frustrated by their struggles often stop trying to conquer them. With help, kids with skills deficits can eventually start to excel in school by learning ways to manage these difficulties and by utilizing school resources that enable them to play to their strengths.

It could really just be boredom

Though it occurs a lot less often than parents suspect, some children are simply not being stimulated enough by their school settings. These may be what experts call “gifted” kids, whose intellectual capabilities are much stronger than most of their peers. These students will often pursue their own academic interests (whether these be reading, writing, math, or science) outside of school and find the curriculum, which is going over what they’ve already learned on their own time, unstimulating.

Another way that giftedness can cause kids to disconnect is when they’re gifted in very specific areas, and they’re so fascinated with those areas that they’d rather think about them during class than pay attention to what their teachers are saying.

But Matthew Cruger, PhD, a psychologist at the Child Mind Institute who has worked with a lot of gifted children, is skeptical that a child’s lack of motivation can be caused solely by giftedness. “I would expect the most gifted kids to find something compelling about the curriculum,” Dr. Cruger says. If nothing in school piques a child’s interest, the child could be gifted and also have a diagnosis that’s holding them back and undermining motivation.

#James Donaldson notes:
Welcome to the “next chapter” of my life… being a voice and an advocate for #mentalhealthawarenessandsuicideprevention, especially pertaining to our younger generation of students and student-athletes.
Getting men to speak up and reach out for help and assistance is one of my passions. Us men need to not suffer in silence or drown our sorrows in alcohol, hang out at bars and strip joints, or get involved with drug use.
Having gone through a recent bout of #depression and #suicidalthoughts myself, I realize now, that I can make a huge difference in the lives of so many by sharing my story, and by sharing various resources I come across as I work in this space.  #http://bit.ly/JamesMentalHealthArticle
Find out more about the work I do on my 501c3 non-profit foundation
website www.yourgiftoflife.org Order your copy of James Donaldson's latest book,
#CelebratingYourGiftofLife: From The Verge of Suicide to a Life of Purpose and Joy

Click Here For More Information About James Donaldson

Click here to follow James Donaldson's Blog

What other things undermine kids in school?

While learning disorders and other skills deficits are most commonly associated with a lack of interest in school, there are other common diagnoses that manifest in this way.

- ADHD After learning disorders, ADHD is probably the most common cause for kids to fall behind in school. The combination of energy, impatience, impulsivity, and distractibility can make it incredibly difficult for a child with ADHD to function in a typical classroom. “Kids with ADHD may find school particularly challenging because they often miss out on cues and information that’s important for them to do well,” explains Kristin Carothers, PhD, a psychologist. “They also may be getting lots of negative attention from teachers because their behavior can be disruptive, and that might result in them being less motivated to perform.”
- Anxiety Separation anxiety might cause a child to be distracted or even refuse to attend school because they’re so worried something might happen when they’re away from their parents. The problem could also be social anxiety, where interacting with their classmates and teachers makes a kid so worried they’d rather skip class than participate in a small work group, or never raise their hand. Kids with generalized anxiety also worry about academics, and may become so stressed about their work being perfect that they just give up because they feel it’s not good enough.
- Depression One of the key symptoms of depression is a reduced interest in activities that once interested a child. If there was once a time when your child did feel stimulated by school, and the newfound disinterest is coupled with other symptoms like irritability or sadness, it’s possible they are suffering from depression.
- OCD In the same way that anxiety can prevent a child from focusing in class, OCD can also become a barrier to their learning. Kids with OCD could be so worried about making a mistake that they feel the need to reread everything or erase and rewrite their homework over and over again until it’s perfect. They may even feel like their desk is contaminated, and spend so much time worrying about it that they’re not aware of what’s going on in class. They might develop obsessions and rituals that can get in the way of their schoolwork and make it seem as if they have very little desire to learn.

It’s a process

If your child has a disorder that is getting in the way of learning, treatment will help them become more engaged and motivated in school.

For kids who don’t need treatment but do need help getting motivated, there are some things parents and teachers can do to help. And keep in mind that some kids will develop motivation as they get older. “Your kid may be at a developmental period where it’s harder to have their own motivation,” says Dr. Carothers, “but that doesn’t mean they won’t be successful in the future.

Frequently Asked Questions

How can I motivate my child?

To motivate your child, you can start by gathering information from your child about what’s getting in the way of their motivation. It could be that they are experiencing anxiety or a mental health disorder, or maybe they are bored and not being challenged enough.

Photo by Aissa Bouabellou on Pexels.com https://standingabovethecrowd.com/james-donaldson-on-mental-health-does-your-child-lack-motivation/

James Donaldson on Mental Health - Finding Help Following Suicide or an Attempt

Support related to suicide exists, but it's not always easy to find

By John Bateson

THE BASICS

- Suicide Risk Factors and Signs
- Take our Depression Test
- Find a therapist near me
Key points
- Suicide deaths tend to be traumatic for family members and friends.
- Support groups for those who survive a suicide attempt or parents whose children attempt suicide are rare.
- An hour-long video, “Supporting Parents," is one new resource.

Many crisis centers that operate 24-hour suicide prevention hotlines also provide grief counseling to people who are mourning a death. That’s because many people who have lost a loved one to suicide are more at risk for suicide themselves.

#James Donaldson notes:
Welcome to the “next chapter” of my life… being a voice and an advocate for #mentalhealthawarenessandsuicideprevention, especially pertaining to our younger generation of students and student-athletes.
Getting men to speak up and reach out for help and assistance is one of my passions. Us men need to not suffer in silence or drown our sorrows in alcohol, hang out at bars and strip joints, or get involved with drug use.
Having gone through a recent bout of #depression and #suicidalthoughts myself, I realize now, that I can make a huge difference in the lives of so many by sharing my story, and by sharing various resources I come across as I work in this space.  #http://bit.ly/JamesMentalHealthArticle
Find out more about the work I do on my 501c3 non-profit foundation
website www.yourgiftoflife.org Order your copy of James Donaldson's latest book,
#CelebratingYourGiftofLife: From The Verge of Suicide to a Life of Purpose and Joy

Click Here For More Information About James Donaldson

Click here to follow James Donaldson's Blog

The crisis center I directed provided individual counseling and also operated multiple grief support groups. Four of the groups were for survivors of suicide—parents who lost children, youths who lost parents, individuals who lost partners, and others who lost siblings or friends because of suicide. Typically, there were 15 to 20 people in each of these four groups, although sometimes the number was greater, and we needed extra facilitators.

The first night of each group was memorable for one main reason. Upon entering the room, many people gasped. They couldn’t believe that so many other people were there, that so many others had experienced the same tragedy they had experienced, the suicide of a loved one. Until that moment, they felt completely alone.

Our grief counseling director, who was a nationally recognized death educator, started every first night the same way: “I’m so sorry that you’re here, and I’m so glad that you’re here.”

Anytime someone dies, it can be traumatic for survivors. Suicide deaths tend to be the most traumatic of all because of the guilt and stigma attached to them. Survivors think back on every interaction they had with the deceased, especially recent ones, questioning what they did or didn’t do—all of the “what ifs.” Did they miss warning signs? Did they take something the decedent said too lightly? Were they slow to act or did they not act at all, even in the face of what, in retrospect, was ominous?

Support groups for people who have attempted suicide are rare. A few agencies operate them, but they are hard to find, in part because leading this kind of group is daunting. Not only is everyone in it at high risk of suicide, but many suicidal people have emotional needs that can be overwhelming for the facilitator.

Support groups for parents whose children have attempted suicide are even rarer. More often than not, parents seek individual counseling for their child and/or counseling for the family with a private therapist. This, too, can be challenging to find, however, because many clinicians don’t have experience or aren’t comfortable providing this kind of therapy.

One new resource is an hour-long video developed by Zero Suicide titled Supporting Parents. It’s specifically for parents whose child has attempted suicide, and recognizes the fears, anxieties, and questions parents have; the helpless feelings they experience; and the fact that they might feel alone in this, but are not. Many others, sadly, are in the same position.

Having a loved one die or attempt suicide is an isolating experience, but a person doesn’t have to be alone. Help exists.

Zero Suicide is a global health care initiative whose goal isn’t just to prevent suicides but to end them. For anyone who is worried about the safety of a loved one, the only acceptable number when it comes to suicide is zero. Four other resources are noteworthy: The national, three-digit Suicide and Crisis Lifeline (988) connects callers seamlessly to the nearest, certified crisis center so that they can receive immediate, free, confidential counseling. The Crisis Text Line (741741) does the same thing for texters. The Trevor Project (1-888-488-7386) provides crisis intervention and suicide prevention services to lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, and questioning youth under the age of 25. The National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) has local chapters throughout the country and provides a variety of support services for mental health consumers and family members.

To find a therapist near you, visit the Psychology Today Therapy Directory.

https://standingabovethecrowd.com/james-donaldson-on-mental-health-finding-help-following-suicide-or-an-attempt/

James Donaldson on Mental Health - How to Build a Mental Health First Aid Kit

How to Build a Mental Health First Aid Kit

In today's fast-paced world, taking care of our mental well-being is more important than ever. Just like a physical first aid kit, having a mental health first aid kit can provide immediate support when you're feeling overwhelmed or stressed. This guide will walk you through the process of creating your own mental health first aid kit, ensuring you have the tools you need to maintain your mental health.

Table of Contents

1. Introduction

2. What is a Mental Health First Aid Kit?

3. Essential Components of a Mental Health First Aid Kit

4. Personalizing Your Kit

5. Tips for Using Your Kit Effectively

6. Conclusion

7. FAQs

What is a Mental Health First Aid Kit?

A mental health first aid kit is a personalized collection of items and strategies designed to help you manage stress, anxiety, or other mental health challenges. It's a proactive approach to self-care, ensuring you have resources at your fingertips when you need them most.

Essential Components of a Mental Health First Aid Kit

While the contents of a mental health first aid kit can vary depending on personal needs, there are some universal items that can be beneficial for most people. Here are the essential components to consider:

1. Journals and Writing Materials

Writing can be a therapeutic way to process emotions and thoughts. Include a journal and some pens in your kit. When you feel overwhelmed, jotting down your feelings can help clarify your thoughts and reduce anxiety.

2. Relaxation Aids

Items such as stress balls, fidget spinners, or even a small plush toy can provide comfort and a distraction when anxiety strikes. These tools can help calm your nervous system and bring you back to the present moment.

3. Inspirational Quotes or Affirmations

Having a collection of positive affirmations or inspirational quotes can serve as a quick mood booster. Write them on index cards or print them out to keep in your kit. Reading them aloud can reinforce positive thinking.

4. Essential Oils or Calming Scents

Aromatherapy can have a powerful impact on mood. Include a small bottle of essential oils like lavender or chamomile, known for their calming properties. Inhaling these scents can help reduce stress and promote relaxation.

5. Mindfulness and Meditation Resources

Guides or apps for mindfulness and meditation can be incredibly helpful. Consider including a list of your favorite meditation apps or a small book on mindfulness practices. These resources can guide you through exercises to center your mind.

Personalizing Your Kit

Your mental health first aid kit should be tailored to your specific needs and preferences. Consider adding items that hold personal significance, such as:

1. Photos or Mementos

Include photos of loved ones or mementos that evoke happy memories. These reminders can provide comfort and reinforce a sense of connection, even when you're feeling low.

2. Contact Information for Support Networks

Having a list of contact information for friends, family, or support groups can be invaluable. Knowing you have people to reach out to can provide reassurance and reduce feelings of isolation.

3. Music or Playlist Suggestions

Music has the power to transform your mood. Include a list of your favorite songs or playlists that lift your spirits or help you relax. Music can be a powerful tool for emotional regulation.

#James Donaldson notes:
Welcome to the “next chapter” of my life… being a voice and an advocate for #mentalhealthawarenessandsuicideprevention, especially pertaining to our younger generation of students and student-athletes.
Getting men to speak up and reach out for help and assistance is one of my passions. Us men need to not suffer in silence or drown our sorrows in alcohol, hang out at bars and strip joints, or get involved with drug use.
Having gone through a recent bout of #depression and #suicidalthoughts myself, I realize now, that I can make a huge difference in the lives of so many by sharing my story, and by sharing various resources I come across as I work in this space.  #http://bit.ly/JamesMentalHealthArticle
Find out more about the work I do on my 501c3 non-profit foundation
website www.yourgiftoflife.org Order your copy of James Donaldson's latest book,
#CelebratingYourGiftofLife: From The Verge of Suicide to a Life of Purpose and Joy

Click Here For More Information About James Donaldson

Click here to follow James Donaldson's Blog

Tips for Using Your Kit Effectively

Your mental health first aid kit is only effective if you use it. Here are some tips to ensure it becomes a regular part of your self-care routine:

1. Keep it Accessible

Store your kit in a place where you can easily reach it, whether at home or in your bag. The easier it is to access, the more likely you are to use it in times of need.

2. Regularly Update Its Contents

As your needs and preferences change, update the contents of your kit. This ensures it continues to serve you effectively and remains relevant to your current mental health needs.

3. Practice Regular Self-Check-Ins

Make it a habit to check in with yourself regularly. Use your kit during these times to reinforce positive mental health practices and address any emerging issues before they escalate.

Conclusion

Building a mental health first aid kit is a proactive step towards maintaining your mental well-being. By equipping yourself with tools and resources tailored to your needs, you empower yourself to handle life's challenges with resilience and grace. Remember, self-care is not a luxury but a necessity, and your mental health first aid kit is an essential part of that care.

FAQs

Q: How often should I update my mental health first aid kit?

A: It's a good idea to review and update your kit every few months or whenever you notice your needs changing. This ensures it remains effective and tailored to your current mental health situation.

Q: Can I include digital resources in my mental health first aid kit?

A: Absolutely! Digital resources like apps, e-books, or online meditation guides can be valuable additions to your kit. Just make sure to have them easily accessible on your devices.

Q: Is there a specific size or type of container I should use for my kit?

A: There's no one-size-fits-all answer. The best container is one that suits your lifestyle and allows you to easily carry or store your kit. A small pouch or box that fits in your bag can work well.

By taking the time to create and maintain a mental health first aid kit, you're investing in your emotional resilience and overall well-being. It's a small step that can make a significant difference in how you navigate life's ups and downs.

https://standingabovethecrowd.com/how-to-build-a-mental-health-first-aid-kit/

James Donaldson on Mental Health - Emotional Regulation Through Yoga Practices

Emotional Regulation Through Yoga Practices

In today's fast-paced world, managing emotions can often feel like an insurmountable challenge. Thankfully, yoga offers a holistic approach to help individuals find balance and achieve emotional regulation. This ancient practice not only benefits the body but also nurtures the mind and spirit, providing tools to navigate the emotional ups and downs of life.

Table of Contents

1. Introduction

2. Understanding Emotional Regulation

3. How Yoga Aids in Emotional Regulation

4. Key Yoga Practices for Emotional Balance

    4.1. Breathing Techniques

    4.2. Mindfulness Meditation

    4.3. Yoga Poses

5. Tips for Integrating Yoga into Your Life

6. Conclusion

7. FAQs

Understanding Emotional Regulation

Emotional regulation refers to the ability to manage and respond to emotional experiences in a healthy and productive manner. It involves recognizing and acknowledging one's emotions, understanding their triggers, and finding healthy ways to cope with them. Poor emotional regulation can lead to increased stress, anxiety, and even physical health issues.

How Yoga Aids in Emotional Regulation

Yoga is a mind-body practice that combines physical postures, breathing exercises, and meditation. This unique combination makes yoga an effective tool for emotional regulation. By promoting relaxation and mindfulness, yoga helps individuals become more aware of their emotions and develop healthier responses to them.

Key Yoga Practices for Emotional Balance

4.1. Breathing Techniques

Breathing techniques, or pranayama, are fundamental to yoga practice. Controlled breathing can help calm the nervous system and reduce stress. Techniques such as deep belly breathing, alternate nostril breathing, and the 4-7-8 method are particularly effective for emotional regulation. By focusing on the breath, individuals can ground themselves in the present moment, reducing anxiety and promoting a sense of calm.

4.2. Mindfulness Meditation

Mindfulness meditation, often incorporated into yoga sessions, encourages individuals to observe their thoughts and emotions without judgment. This practice fosters self-awareness and emotional intelligence, allowing individuals to recognize emotional patterns and respond more effectively. Regular meditation practice can lead to a more balanced emotional state, reducing reactivity and promoting peace of mind.

4.3. Yoga Poses

Certain yoga poses are particularly beneficial for emotional regulation. Forward bends, such as Uttanasana (Standing Forward Bend), promote introspection and calmness, while heart-opening poses like Ustrasana (Camel Pose) can help release stored emotions and foster openness. Balancing poses, such as Vrikshasana (Tree Pose), enhance focus and stability, teaching individuals to maintain equilibrium even during emotional turmoil.

Tips for Integrating Yoga into Your Life

For those new to yoga, starting with a few simple practices can be a great way to begin experiencing its emotional benefits. Consider setting aside a few minutes each day for breathing exercises or a short meditation session. Joining a local yoga class or following online tutorials can provide guidance and structure. Remember, consistency is key, and over time, these practices can lead to lasting emotional balance.

Conclusion

Emotional regulation is a crucial component of overall well-being, and yoga offers a comprehensive approach to achieving it. By embracing yoga practices such as breathing techniques, mindfulness meditation, and specific poses, individuals can cultivate a deeper understanding of their emotions and develop healthier responses to life's challenges. Whether you're a seasoned yogi or a newcomer, integrating yoga into your daily routine can be a transformative step towards emotional harmony.

FAQs

1. Can yoga help with anxiety and depression?

Yes, yoga can be beneficial for managing anxiety and depression. The combination of physical movement, breath control, and mindfulness can help alleviate symptoms and promote a sense of calm and well-being.

2. How often should I practice yoga for emotional regulation?

Consistency is important, so aim to practice yoga several times a week. Even short daily sessions can make a significant difference in emotional regulation over time.

3. Can I practice yoga at home without any equipment?

Absolutely. Many yoga practices can be done at home without any equipment. A yoga mat can be helpful for comfort, but it's not essential. Online resources can guide you through home practices.

4. Do I need to be flexible to start practicing yoga?

No, flexibility is not a prerequisite for yoga. Yoga is about meeting yourself where you are and progressing at your own pace. As you practice, your flexibility will naturally improve.

#James Donaldson notes:
Welcome to the “next chapter” of my life… being a voice and an advocate for #mentalhealthawarenessandsuicideprevention, especially pertaining to our younger generation of students and student-athletes.
Getting men to speak up and reach out for help and assistance is one of my passions. Us men need to not suffer in silence or drown our sorrows in alcohol, hang out at bars and strip joints, or get involved with drug use.
Having gone through a recent bout of #depression and #suicidalthoughts myself, I realize now, that I can make a huge difference in the lives of so many by sharing my story, and by sharing various resources I come across as I work in this space.  #http://bit.ly/JamesMentalHealthArticle
Find out more about the work I do on my 501c3 non-profit foundation
website www.yourgiftoflife.org Order your copy of James Donaldson's latest book,
#CelebratingYourGiftofLife: From The Verge of Suicide to a Life of Purpose and Joy

Click Here For More Information About James Donaldson

Click here to follow James Donaldson's Blog

https://standingabovethecrowd.com/emotional-regulation-through-yoga-practices/

Support related to suicide exists, but it's not always easy to find

By John Bateson

THE BASICS

- Suicide Risk Factors and Signs

- Take our Depression Test

- Find a therapist near me

Key points

- Suicide deaths tend to be traumatic for family members and friends.

- Support groups for those who survive a suicide attempt or parents whose children attempt suicide are rare.

- An hour-long video, “Supporting Parents," is one new resource.

Many crisis centers that operate 24-hour suicide prevention hotlines also provide grief counseling to people who are mourning a death. That’s because many people who have lost a loved one to suicide are more at risk for suicide themselves.

#James Donaldson notes:Welcome to the “next chapter” of my life… being a voice and an advocate for #mentalhealthawarenessandsuicideprevention, especially pertaining to our younger generation of students and student-athletes.Getting men to speak up and reach out for help and assistance is one of my passions. Us men need to not suffer in silence or drown our sorrows in alcohol, hang out at bars and strip joints, or get involved with drug use.Having gone through a recent bout of #depression and #suicidalthoughts myself, I realize now, that I can make a huge difference in the lives of so many by sharing my story, and by sharing various resources I come across as I work in this space.  #http://bit.ly/JamesMentalHealthArticleFind out more about the work I do on my 501c3 non-profit foundationwebsite www.yourgiftoflife.org Order your copy of James Donaldson's latest book,#CelebratingYourGiftofLife: From The Verge of Suicide to a Life of Purpose and Joy

Click Here For More Information About James Donaldson

Click here to follow James Donaldson's Blog

The crisis center I directed provided individual counseling and also operated multiple grief support groups. Four of the groups were for survivors of suicide—parents who lost children, youths who lost parents, individuals who lost partners, and others who lost siblings or friends because of suicide. Typically, there were 15 to 20 people in each of these four groups, although sometimes the number was greater, and we needed extra facilitators.

The first night of each group was memorable for one main reason. Upon entering the room, many people gasped. They couldn’t believe that so many other people were there, that so many others had experienced the same tragedy they had experienced, the suicide of a loved one. Until that moment, they felt completely alone.

Our grief counseling director, who was a nationally recognized death educator, started every first night the same way: “I’m so sorry that you’re here, and I’m so glad that you’re here.”

Anytime someone dies, it can be traumatic for survivors. Suicide deaths tend to be the most traumatic of all because of the guilt and stigma attached to them. Survivors think back on every interaction they had with the deceased, especially recent ones, questioning what they did or didn’t do—all of the “what ifs.” Did they miss warning signs? Did they take something the decedent said too lightly? Were they slow to act or did they not act at all, even in the face of what, in retrospect, was ominous?

Support groups for people who have attempted suicide are rare. A few agencies operate them, but they are hard to find, in part because leading this kind of group is daunting. Not only is everyone in it at high risk of suicide, but many suicidal people have emotional needs that can be overwhelming for the facilitator.

Support groups for parents whose children have attempted suicide are even rarer. More often than not, parents seek individual counseling for their child and/or counseling for the family with a private therapist. This, too, can be challenging to find, however, because many clinicians don’t have experience or aren’t comfortable providing this kind of therapy.

One new resource is an hour-long video developed by Zero Suicide titled Supporting Parents. It’s specifically for parents whose child has attempted suicide, and recognizes the fears, anxieties, and questions parents have; the helpless feelings they experience; and the fact that they might feel alone in this, but are not. Many others, sadly, are in the same position.

Having a loved one die or attempt suicide is an isolating experience, but a person doesn’t have to be alone. Help exists.

Zero Suicide is a global health care initiative whose goal isn’t just to prevent suicides but to end them. For anyone who is worried about the safety of a loved one, the only acceptable number when it comes to suicide is zero. Four other resources are noteworthy: The national, three-digit Suicide and Crisis Lifeline (988) connects callers seamlessly to the nearest, certified crisis center so that they can receive immediate, free, confidential counseling. The Crisis Text Line (741741) does the same thing for texters. The Trevor Project (1-888-488-7386) provides crisis intervention and suicide prevention services to lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, and questioning youth under the age of 25. The National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) has local chapters throughout the country and provides a variety of support services for mental health consumers and family members.

To find a therapist near you, visit the Psychology Today Therapy Directory. https://standingabovethecrowd.com/?p=16397

James Donaldson on Mental Health - How to Help Your Child Get Motivated in School

Strategies you can use to help kids work up to their potential

Writer: Danielle Cohen

Clinical Experts: Laura Phillips, PsyD, ABPdN , Ken Schuster, PsyD , Kristin Carothers, PhD

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p-cue8RaVLg

What You'll Learn

- Why do some kids have trouble getting motivated in school?
- How can parents help their children try harder in school?
- Quick Read
- Full Article
- Get involved
- Use reinforcement
- Reward effort rather than outcome
- Help them see the big picture
- Let them make mistakes
- Get outside help
- Make the teacher your ally
- Get support for yourself

It’s common for kids to lack motivation in school. Sometimes, this happens because the child has ADHD, anxiety, social challenges, or a learning disability. But other times, kids without a diagnosable problem still have trouble living up to their potential in school. Here are a few ways that parents can encourage kids to put in more effort at school.

Start by showing kids that you care about their schoolwork. Check in with them about how classes are going. Let them know that you’re there if they need homework help. Ask what they’re learning and what they like (and don’t like) about the assignments. With older kids, be sure to give them space, too. If they sense that you’re pressuring them, they might end up feeling resentful and less motivated.

Using positive reinforcement helps. You don’t need to give kids big rewards, but even small ones like a high five or a few extra minutes of screen time can make a difference. It’s also important to praise effort, not results. For example, praise your child for finishing a tough assignment or taking a class that might be hard. Nobody gets top grades all the time, so make sure your child knows you don’t expect perfection.

You can also bring in reinforcements if schoolwork is becoming a source of conflict for you and your child. You could hire an older student at your child’s school or a nearby college to help monitor homework and ease stress on the family. Talking to your child’s teacher can also give you insight into their behavior and help you work as a team to encourage them.

Finally, be sure to keep tabs on your own feelings. If you’re getting very frustrated or angry about your child’s school performance, a therapist or support group can help.

If you have a child who is struggling in school and doesn’t seem to be motivated to make an effort, the first thing you want to do is explore whether there is some obstacle getting in their way. Learning issues, social challenges, attention or emotional problems can all cause kids to disengage academically.

But not all kids who are underperforming in school — clearly not living up to their potential — have a diagnosable problem. And there are a number of things parents can do to help motivate kids to try harder.

#James Donaldson notes:
Welcome to the “next chapter” of my life… being a voice and an advocate for #mentalhealthawarenessandsuicideprevention, especially pertaining to our younger generation of students and student-athletes.
Getting men to speak up and reach out for help and assistance is one of my passions. Us men need to not suffer in silence or drown our sorrows in alcohol, hang out at bars and strip joints, or get involved with drug use.
Having gone through a recent bout of #depression and #suicidalthoughts myself, I realize now, that I can make a huge difference in the lives of so many by sharing my story, and by sharing various resources I come across as I work in this space.  #http://bit.ly/JamesMentalHealthArticle
Find out more about the work I do on my 501c3 non-profit foundation
website www.yourgiftoflife.org Order your copy of James Donaldson's latest book,
#CelebratingYourGiftofLife: From The Verge of Suicide to a Life of Purpose and Joy

Click Here For More Information About James Donaldson

Click here to follow James Donaldson's Blog

Get involved

As a parent or caregiver, your presence in the academic life of your child is crucial to their commitment to work. Do homework with them, and let them know that you’re available to answer questions. Get in the habit of asking them about what they learned in school, and generally engage them academically. By demonstrating your interest in your child’s school life, you’re showing them school can be exciting and interesting. This is especially effective with young kids who tend to be excited about whatever you’re excited about. Teenagers can bristle if they feel you are asking too many questions, so make sure you are sharing the details of your day, too. A conversation is always better than an interrogation.

Likewise, it’s important to stay involved but give older kids a little more space. If you’re on top of your kid all the time about homework, they may develop resistance and be less motivated to work — not to mention the strain it will put on your relationship.

Use reinforcement

Many parents are nervous about rewarding kids for good work, and it’s true that tangible rewards can turn into a slippery slope. But there are ways to use extrinsic motivation that will eventually be internalized by your kid. “Kids respond really well to social reinforcers like praises, hugs, high fives, and those kinds of things,” says Laura Phillips, PsyD, a clinical neuropsychologist. “Then they start to achieve because it feels good for them.”

Ken Schuster, PsyD, a neuropsychologist at the Child Mind Institute, encourages parents to use rewarding activities that would have probably occurred either way but placing them after a set amount of time doing homework. He suggests treats that are easy to provide but that your child will enjoy, such as going for ice cream or sharing a candy bar. He also recommends breaking work up into chunks and using small breaks as rewards for getting through each chunk.

Reward effort rather than outcome

The message you want to send is that you respect hard work. Praising kids for following through when things get difficult, for making a sustained effort, and for trying things they’re not sure they can do successfully can all help teach them the pleasure of pushing themselves. Praise for good grades that come easily can make kids feel they shouldn’t have to exert themselves.

Help them see the big picture

For older kids who have developed an understanding of delayed gratification, sometimes simple reminders of their long-term goals can help push them. It can help many high school seniors who slack off after getting into college to remind them that they could lose their acceptance if their grades drop too much, or that they might not be prepared for college courses. “Linking school up with their long-term goals can make the work feel more personally fulfilling,” explains Dr. Phillips.

Let them make mistakes

No one can get A’s on every test or a perfect score on every assignment. While kids need encouragement, and it’s healthy to push them to try their best, know that setbacks are natural. Sometimes the only way kids learn how to properly prepare for school is by finding out what happens when they’re unprepared.

Get outside help

One way to take a little tension away from your relationship with your child is to find an older student (either at their school or a nearby college) to help them out with work. Most will charge pretty low rates, and the fact that they’re closer to your kid’s age may make it more likely they’ll listen to what they say.

“Homework was a source of conflict for us,” says Elizabeth, whose son Alex has ADHD. Elizabeth hired a few Barnard students to help Alex do his homework on certain nights, she recalls. “He behaved a lot better with them, and it was money well spent for me because I wasn’t fighting, and I wasn’t stressed out.”

Make the teacher your ally

Another one of the most important things you can do for your child is to work with their teacher. The teacher might have additional insight about how to motivate your child or what they might be struggling with. Likewise, you can share any strategies or information that you have.

When her son was in lower school and only had one teacher, Elizabeth would call his teacher before the first day, introducing herself and alerting the teacher that her son had ADHD and that he found it hard to focus. She would give the teacher little tips that she had found were useful with Alex: Writing multi-step directions on the board, tapping him on the shoulder while walking past to make sure he was paying attention, and other small tweaks that would be useful to any young child but are especially essential to one with ADHD.

“Make sure that both school and home are of one accord,” stresses Kristin Carothers, PhD, a clinical psychologist. Dr. Carothers often sets up a system she calls the daily report card. With this system, the child gets points from their teacher for things like completing work and following directions the first time they get them. Then they bring those points home, where their parents give them small rewards, such as extra time on the iPad or playing a game together.

Get support for yourself

It can be just as frustrating to watch your child withdraw from school as it can be for some kids to maintain focus. Elizabeth says that she often feels judged as a parent for having a son who struggles so much in school.

Some schools have support groups for parents of kids who are less motivated, and if your child’s school doesn’t, Elizabeth encourages setting one up. “It’s very comforting to hear that you’re not alone,” she says. “It’s also helpful to hear people who have gone ahead of you talk about how to navigate the school’s system, find a therapist, and talk to teachers.”

“If you’re feeling yourself getting really angry or frustrated with your kids, take a step back,” Dr. Carothers recommends. “Put things into context.”

It’s also important to keep your goals in perspective: Your child may not become a star student. Make sure to focus on the effort they put in and the commitment they show instead of the outcome. If you expect perfect achievement from a child who struggles in school, you’ll drive yourself crazy.

“I’m not trying to get my child to be someone he’s not,” Elizabeth says about her efforts to help her son. “I just want him to reach his potential.”

Frequently Asked Questions

How do I motivate my child to do homework?

You can motivate your child to do homework by letting them know you’re available to answer any questions they might have and that you see how hard they’re working. You can also reward them with small treats, like going out for ice cream, after they finish a certain amount of homework.

What motivates a child to do well in school?

https://standingabovethecrowd.com/james-donaldson-on-mental-health-how-to-help-your-child-get-motivated-in-school/