James Donaldson on Mental Health - Stop the Stigma: A Conversation on Suicide Prevention with Susan Tolle

Every 11 minutes, someone in the U.S. dies by suicide. If you are struggling, or know someone who is struggling, keep reading.

Susan Tolle has been involved with the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention (AFSP) for nearly 10 years as an educator, advocate, and volunteer, equipping over 4,000 people with suicide education.

“The more we talk about suicide, the more lives we can save,” explained Tolle.

Tolle’s passion for prevention began in 2016 when her daughter was going through crisis.

“I could find hardly any resources to help her and she had gone through three different suicide attempts.”

Tolle shares that stigma around suicide had resulted in this lack of resources.

“I started talking about my daughter’s experience and remember very clearly a friend of mine said to me after I had shared a story in the newspaper, ‘Susan, how can you air your dirty laundry in the newspaper?’”

Tolle shared the hurt that came along with this comment.

“I don’t look at my daughter’s mental health crisis as dirty laundry. This is the stigma that we have to overcome.”

Suicide, being the 11th leading cause of death in the U.S., affects nearly every community and demographic.

“People say ‘she’s crazy, that’s why she’s trying to kill herself,’ or ‘He drove his company to bankruptcy.’ They try to explain it away, but there is not a single cause of suicide.”

Tolle explains the hopelessness that those experiencing suicidal ideation feel.

“They feel like they’re going down a tunnel and there is peace at the end when they are gone. They don’t look left or right and are very impulsive. That’s why it’s important to think about what’s going on in their minds that we may not know and how important it is to be kind and let others know how much we care about them.”

#James Donaldson notes:
Welcome to the “next chapter” of my life… being a voice and an advocate for #mentalhealthawarenessandsuicideprevention, especially pertaining to our younger generation of students and student-athletes.
Getting men to speak up and reach out for help and assistance is one of my passions. Us men need to not suffer in silence or drown our sorrows in alcohol, hang out at bars and strip joints, or get involved with drug use.
Having gone through a recent bout of #depression and #suicidalthoughts myself, I realize now, that I can make a huge difference in the lives of so many by sharing my story, and by sharing various resources I come across as I work in this space.  #http://bit.ly/JamesMentalHealthArticle
Find out more about the work I do on my 501c3 non-profit foundation
website www.yourgiftoflife.org Order your copy of James Donaldson's latest book,
#CelebratingYourGiftofLife: From The Verge of Suicide to a Life of Purpose and Joy

Click Here For More Information About James Donaldson

There are 22 warning signs to watch for categorized into what a person says, does, and acts. AFSP lists them as follows:

If a person talks about:

- Killing themselves
- Feeling hopeless
- Having no reason to live
- Being a burden to others
- Feeling trapped
- Unbearable pain

Behaviors that may signal risk, especially if related to a painful event, loss or change:

- Increased use of alcohol or drugs
- Looking for a way to end their lives, such as searching online for methods
- Withdrawing from activities
- Isolating from family and friends
- Sleeping too much or too little
- Visiting or calling people to say goodbye
- Giving away prized possessions
- Aggression
- Fatigue

People who are considering suicide often display one or more of the following moods:

- Depression
- Anxiety
- Loss of interest
- Irritability
- Humiliation/Shame
- Agitation/Anger
- Relief/Sudden Improvement

Tolle encourages parents to monitor their children’s devices, especially if they are concerned for their mental health.

“I tell parents all the time to snoop. Go into their search history. They don’t need to know. You might think it’s unfair to them, but it’s about your kid’s life. Snoop.”

If you or someone you know is struggling, help is available from trained professionals through the National Suicide Hotline by calling 988 or texting TALK to 741-741.

“We advocated for a three-digit number that people will remember. Veterans can call that number and press one and it goes immediately to somebody who specializes in veteran crisis. When we first launched it, we received millions of calls.”

Remember, you aren’t alone. It’s time to stop the stigma around suicide.

https://standingabovethecrowd.com/__trashed-2/

Characteristics of learning disabilities that can hide in plain sight

Photo by Pragyan Bezbaruah on Pexels.com

Writer: Rae Jacobson, MS

What You'll Learn

- Why is it hard to spot some learning disorders?

- How do learning disorders affect kids in school?

- What signs should teachers look for?

- Quick Read

- Full Article

- Not living up to their potential

- Not trying hard enough

- Off track

- Hiding out

- Acting up

- Missing homework

- Timing troubles

- Test stress

- Emotionality

- Avoidance

Teachers are often the first to notice that a child has a learning disorder. Sometimes the signs are easy to spot, like a student who’s way behind in reading. Or a child who’s working hard but just keeps failing tests. But sometimes the signs are harder to see. And that can mean kids who need help don’t get it.

Kids with LDs often have a big gap between what it seems like they should be able to do and what they’re actually able do. For example, a student who writes awesome essays but can barely do basic math assignments. Or a kid who gives great answers class but can’t get their ideas down on paper. These gaps often cause kids with learning disorders to be labeled as lazy or told to just try harder, which can take a toll on their self-esteem. Knowing what to look for can help teachers and parents get kids the help they need.

Students who need constant reminders of what to do next might be struggling with a skill called working memory. That’s the task of remembering and processing new information, a common issue for kids with LDs. They also may struggle with time management. They may have trouble with transitions or seem disorganized.

Other common signs of learning differences include difficulty following directions, trouble concentrating, and not getting homework done on time — or at all. Failing tests, especially ones you know they’ve studied for, is also a sign.

If a student seems shy — not talking in class or sitting in the back row — they may be trying to hide a learning issue. Other kids might do the opposite, acting out to draw attention away from difficulties or pretending not to care about school. Kids may even cut class, skip school, or be “sick” more often than is usual.

Helping students with learning disabilities get the help they need can make a big difference both in school and out — and for years to come.

Teachers are often the first to notice that a child might have a learning disorder. Sometimes the signs are easy to spot — a student who just isn’t making headway in reading, for example. Or a child who, despite obvious effort, can’t seem to master the times tables. But the signs are not always as clear, and many children, embarrassed that they are struggling to do things that seem easy for other kids, go to pains to hide their difficulties.

Here are some less-obvious signs of learning disorders in children to watch for in the classroom.

Not living up to their potential

If you notice that a student who seems as if they should be succeeding, but they aren’t — either in one specific subject or in their overall school performance — it could be a sign that they have a learning disorder.

This is often described as a discrepancy between ability and aptitude, i.e. a gap between what it seems a student should be able to do and what they’re actually able do.

Some examples of how this gap might appear in the classroom include:

- A student who writes fantastic essays but has serious difficulty getting through basic math assignments, or vice versa

- A kid who’s great at answering questions in class but can’t get their point down on paper

- A student whose intelligence is obvious in person, but isn’t reflected on their report card

Not trying hard enough

Kids who aren’t doing as well in school as expected may appear to be lazy or just not applying themselves, when in fact they may be struggling with a learning disorder. Adults with learning issues recall being told repeatedly, before they were diagnosed, that they weren’t trying hard enough. Kids who look like they’re not trying may actually be trying very hard, but failing, or trying to hide an embarrassing deficiency.

Off track

If a student constantly has to be reminded what to do next, you might think they’re not paying attention, but it could be a sign that they’re having difficulty with what’s called “working memory” — holding, processing, and building on new information. This is a common issue for kids with learning disorders.

Other signs to watch for include:

- Difficulty following directions — especially if the student is hearing the information for the first time or there are several steps to remember

- Daydreaming

- Difficulty copying from the board

- Trouble remembering assignments and doing them correctly

Hiding out

Students with learning disorders often try conceal their struggles from teachers and peers. Even if they’re managing to keep up with school work, with extra effort, it may be taking a big toll on their self-esteem. If a student comes across as excessively shy during class — hanging back during group projects, sitting in the back row, or doing everything in their power to avoid being called on during class — they may be trying to hide a learning issue.

#James Donaldson notes:Welcome to the “next chapter” of my life… being a voice and an advocate for #mentalhealthawarenessandsuicideprevention, especially pertaining to our younger generation of students and student-athletes.Getting men to speak up and reach out for help and assistance is one of my passions. Us men need to not suffer in silence or drown our sorrows in alcohol, hang out at bars and strip joints, or get involved with drug use.Having gone through a recent bout of #depression and #suicidalthoughts myself, I realize now, that I can make a huge difference in the lives of so many by sharing my story, and by sharing various resources I come across as I work in this space.  #http://bit.ly/JamesMentalHealthArticleFind out more about the work I do on my 501c3 non-profit foundationwebsite www.yourgiftoflife.org Order your copy of James Donaldson's latest book,#CelebratingYourGiftofLife: From The Verge of Suicide to a Life of Purpose and Joy

Click Here For More Information About James Donaldson

Acting up

It’s also important to remember that hiding doesn’t always look like what it is. In fact, for some kids it may look just the opposite. Where some students shrink down, hoping to go unnoticed, others act out, drawing attention away from deficits by becoming the class clown, being defiant, or pretending to be “too cool” to care how they’re doing in school.

Missing homework

Students with learning disorders often struggle to get homework in on time — or at all. Homework troubles happen for a number of reasons.

- A child may feel embarrassed to hand in work that is incorrect or unfinished

- Total wipe-out. Kids who struggle with memory and organization may have simply forgotten there was an assignment due at all

- Lost! Even when homework does get done, it still has to make it from home to school

Every kid is bound to miss an assignment once in a while, but if a student routinely fails to turn in their homework it’s time to take a closer look at what’s going on.

Timing troubles

Kids with learning disabilities often struggle with time management, transitions, and organization. These timing troubles can cause problems both in school and at home. Tell-tale signs to watch for include:

- A child who always seems to take “too long” to complete tasks — from assignments to putting on their shoes after gym

- A student who’s parents report that it takes them hours to get through their homework at night

- A kid who’s chronically late to school (“I missed the bus – again!”) or always seems to be rushing from one class to another

Test stress

Most kids will have test anxiety now and then, but if a student seems to have more trouble than expected it can be a clue that they have a learning disorder. Some things to watch for:

- A student who always ends up scrambling to finish the test on time — or routinely exceeds the time limit — regardless of reminders

- A child who’s always the last one still working on a timed assignment

- Very messy handwriting

- Serious pre-test anxiety

- A student who fails numerous tests despite having studied

Emotionality

School can be an emotional minefield for students with learning disorders. From struggling to keep up with peers to falling behind on schoolwork, the opportunities to feel bad about themselves can be overwhelming.

- Kids with learning disorders often struggle with feelings of shame, embarrassment, and low self-esteem. If a child often seems to be down on themselves, depressed, or frustrated at school, an undiagnosed learning disorder could be a cause

- Kids with learning disorders may develop serious school-related anxiety — especially before they are diagnosed, when they don’t understand why they can’t keep up with their peers

- Additionally, kids with learning disorders often struggle with “self-regulation,” meaning they lack the tools to manage and process emotions and are easily overwhelmed — which can lead to outbursts. For example, a student who flies off the handle when they’re asked to stay in their seat, or is reduced to tears when asked to try a challenging assignment

Avoidance

Students with learning disorders often go to great lengths to avoid school situations that trigger anxiety or stress. Some signs of avoidance to watch for include:

- Excessive absences

- Staying home “sick” on days when there are tests or other important assignments

- Refusing to participate in challenging activities

- Making frequent trips to the bathroom or asking to go to the nurse when faced with stressful assignments or tests

- Cutting class, or skipping school entirely

Helping students with learning disabilities get the attention and support they need to do better and feel better will benefit that child — both in school and out — for years to come.

Photo by Pragyan Bezbaruah on Pexels.com https://standingabovethecrowd.com/?p=15920

James Donaldson on Mental Health - Tips for Recognizing Learning Disorders in the Classroom

Characteristics of learning disabilities that can hide in plain sight

Photo by Pragyan Bezbaruah on Pexels.com

Writer: Rae Jacobson, MS

What You'll Learn

- Why is it hard to spot some learning disorders?
- How do learning disorders affect kids in school?
- What signs should teachers look for?
- Quick Read
- Full Article
- Not living up to their potential
- Not trying hard enough
- Off track
- Hiding out
- Acting up
- Missing homework
- Timing troubles
- Test stress
- Emotionality
- Avoidance

Teachers are often the first to notice that a child has a learning disorder. Sometimes the signs are easy to spot, like a student who’s way behind in reading. Or a child who’s working hard but just keeps failing tests. But sometimes the signs are harder to see. And that can mean kids who need help don’t get it.

Kids with LDs often have a big gap between what it seems like they should be able to do and what they’re actually able do. For example, a student who writes awesome essays but can barely do basic math assignments. Or a kid who gives great answers class but can’t get their ideas down on paper. These gaps often cause kids with learning disorders to be labeled as lazy or told to just try harder, which can take a toll on their self-esteem. Knowing what to look for can help teachers and parents get kids the help they need.

Students who need constant reminders of what to do next might be struggling with a skill called working memory. That’s the task of remembering and processing new information, a common issue for kids with LDs. They also may struggle with time management. They may have trouble with transitions or seem disorganized.

Other common signs of learning differences include difficulty following directions, trouble concentrating, and not getting homework done on time — or at all. Failing tests, especially ones you know they’ve studied for, is also a sign.

If a student seems shy — not talking in class or sitting in the back row — they may be trying to hide a learning issue. Other kids might do the opposite, acting out to draw attention away from difficulties or pretending not to care about school. Kids may even cut class, skip school, or be “sick” more often than is usual.

Helping students with learning disabilities get the help they need can make a big difference both in school and out — and for years to come.

Teachers are often the first to notice that a child might have a learning disorder. Sometimes the signs are easy to spot — a student who just isn’t making headway in reading, for example. Or a child who, despite obvious effort, can’t seem to master the times tables. But the signs are not always as clear, and many children, embarrassed that they are struggling to do things that seem easy for other kids, go to pains to hide their difficulties.

Here are some less-obvious signs of learning disorders in children to watch for in the classroom.

Not living up to their potential

If you notice that a student who seems as if they should be succeeding, but they aren’t — either in one specific subject or in their overall school performance — it could be a sign that they have a learning disorder.

This is often described as a discrepancy between ability and aptitude, i.e. a gap between what it seems a student should be able to do and what they’re actually able do.

Some examples of how this gap might appear in the classroom include:

- A student who writes fantastic essays but has serious difficulty getting through basic math assignments, or vice versa
- A kid who’s great at answering questions in class but can’t get their point down on paper
- A student whose intelligence is obvious in person, but isn’t reflected on their report card

Not trying hard enough

Kids who aren’t doing as well in school as expected may appear to be lazy or just not applying themselves, when in fact they may be struggling with a learning disorder. Adults with learning issues recall being told repeatedly, before they were diagnosed, that they weren’t trying hard enough. Kids who look like they’re not trying may actually be trying very hard, but failing, or trying to hide an embarrassing deficiency.

Off track

If a student constantly has to be reminded what to do next, you might think they’re not paying attention, but it could be a sign that they’re having difficulty with what’s called “working memory” — holding, processing, and building on new information. This is a common issue for kids with learning disorders.

Other signs to watch for include:

- Difficulty following directions — especially if the student is hearing the information for the first time or there are several steps to remember
- Daydreaming
- Difficulty copying from the board
- Trouble remembering assignments and doing them correctly

Hiding out

Students with learning disorders often try conceal their struggles from teachers and peers. Even if they’re managing to keep up with school work, with extra effort, it may be taking a big toll on their self-esteem. If a student comes across as excessively shy during class — hanging back during group projects, sitting in the back row, or doing everything in their power to avoid being called on during class — they may be trying to hide a learning issue.

#James Donaldson notes:
Welcome to the “next chapter” of my life… being a voice and an advocate for #mentalhealthawarenessandsuicideprevention, especially pertaining to our younger generation of students and student-athletes.
Getting men to speak up and reach out for help and assistance is one of my passions. Us men need to not suffer in silence or drown our sorrows in alcohol, hang out at bars and strip joints, or get involved with drug use.
Having gone through a recent bout of #depression and #suicidalthoughts myself, I realize now, that I can make a huge difference in the lives of so many by sharing my story, and by sharing various resources I come across as I work in this space.  #http://bit.ly/JamesMentalHealthArticle
Find out more about the work I do on my 501c3 non-profit foundation
website www.yourgiftoflife.org Order your copy of James Donaldson's latest book,
#CelebratingYourGiftofLife: From The Verge of Suicide to a Life of Purpose and Joy

Click Here For More Information About James Donaldson

Acting up

It’s also important to remember that hiding doesn’t always look like what it is. In fact, for some kids it may look just the opposite. Where some students shrink down, hoping to go unnoticed, others act out, drawing attention away from deficits by becoming the class clown, being defiant, or pretending to be “too cool” to care how they’re doing in school.

Missing homework

Students with learning disorders often struggle to get homework in on time — or at all. Homework troubles happen for a number of reasons.

- A child may feel embarrassed to hand in work that is incorrect or unfinished
- Total wipe-out. Kids who struggle with memory and organization may have simply forgotten there was an assignment due at all
- Lost! Even when homework does get done, it still has to make it from home to school

Every kid is bound to miss an assignment once in a while, but if a student routinely fails to turn in their homework it’s time to take a closer look at what’s going on.

Timing troubles

Kids with learning disabilities often struggle with time management, transitions, and organization. These timing troubles can cause problems both in school and at home. Tell-tale signs to watch for include:

- A child who always seems to take “too long” to complete tasks — from assignments to putting on their shoes after gym
- A student who’s parents report that it takes them hours to get through their homework at night
- A kid who’s chronically late to school (“I missed the bus – again!”) or always seems to be rushing from one class to another

Test stress

Most kids will have test anxiety now and then, but if a student seems to have more trouble than expected it can be a clue that they have a learning disorder. Some things to watch for:

- A student who always ends up scrambling to finish the test on time — or routinely exceeds the time limit — regardless of reminders
- A child who’s always the last one still working on a timed assignment
- Very messy handwriting
- Serious pre-test anxiety
- A student who fails numerous tests despite having studied

Emotionality

School can be an emotional minefield for students with learning disorders. From struggling to keep up with peers to falling behind on schoolwork, the opportunities to feel bad about themselves can be overwhelming.

- Kids with learning disorders often struggle with feelings of shame, embarrassment, and low self-esteem. If a child often seems to be down on themselves, depressed, or frustrated at school, an undiagnosed learning disorder could be a cause
- Kids with learning disorders may develop serious school-related anxiety — especially before they are diagnosed, when they don’t understand why they can’t keep up with their peers
- Additionally, kids with learning disorders often struggle with “self-regulation,” meaning they lack the tools to manage and process emotions and are easily overwhelmed — which can lead to outbursts. For example, a student who flies off the handle when they’re asked to stay in their seat, or is reduced to tears when asked to try a challenging assignment

Avoidance

Students with learning disorders often go to great lengths to avoid school situations that trigger anxiety or stress. Some signs of avoidance to watch for include:

- Excessive absences
- Staying home “sick” on days when there are tests or other important assignments
- Refusing to participate in challenging activities
- Making frequent trips to the bathroom or asking to go to the nurse when faced with stressful assignments or tests
- Cutting class, or skipping school entirely

Helping students with learning disabilities get the attention and support they need to do better and feel better will benefit that child — both in school and out — for years to come.

Photo by Pragyan Bezbaruah on Pexels.com https://standingabovethecrowd.com/james-donaldson-on-mental-health-tips-for-recognizing-learning-disorders-in-the-classroom/

James Donaldson on Mental Health - Stress Management Techniques That Actually Work

In today’s fast-paced world, stress is an all-too-common companion in our daily lives. From work deadlines to personal responsibilities, the pressures can stack up quickly, leaving us feeling overwhelmed and burned out. Fortunately, there are effective strategies for managing stress and regaining control. In this blog post, we’ll explore stress management techniques that actually work, providing you with practical tools to help navigate life's challenges.

Table of Contents

1. Understanding Stress

2. The Importance of Stress Management

3. Effective Stress Management Techniques

   a. Mindfulness and Meditation

   b. Physical Exercise

   c. Time Management

   d. Healthy Lifestyle Choices

   e. Social Support

4. Conclusion

5. FAQs

Understanding Stress

Stress is the body's natural response to challenges or demands. It can be triggered by a variety of factors, including work pressures, financial difficulties, and personal relationships. While some stress can be beneficial, pushing us to perform at our best, chronic stress can have detrimental effects on our health and well-being. Understanding the nature of stress is the first step toward managing it effectively.

The Importance of Stress Management

Managing stress is crucial for maintaining both mental and physical health. Prolonged stress can lead to a host of issues such as anxiety, depression, heart disease, and a weakened immune system. By implementing effective stress management techniques, we can improve our quality of life, enhance productivity, and foster a greater sense of well-being.

Effective Stress Management Techniques

Mindfulness and Meditation

Mindfulness and meditation are powerful tools for reducing stress. These practices involve focusing your attention on the present moment, which can help calm the mind and reduce anxiety. Simple techniques such as deep breathing, guided imagery, or yoga can make a significant difference. Set aside a few minutes each day to practice mindfulness, and you'll likely notice an improvement in your stress levels.

Physical Exercise

Physical activity is a proven stress reliever. Exercise releases endorphins, which are natural mood lifters. Whether it's a brisk walk, a gym session, or a dance class, incorporating regular physical activity into your routine can help reduce stress and improve overall health. Aim for at least 30 minutes of moderate exercise most days of the week.

Time Management

Feeling overwhelmed often stems from a lack of time management. By organizing your day and prioritizing tasks, you can take control of your schedule and reduce stress. Use tools like planners or digital apps to keep track of your commitments and deadlines. Remember to set aside time for relaxation and self-care.

Healthy Lifestyle Choices

Adopting a healthy lifestyle can have a profound impact on stress levels. This includes eating a balanced diet, getting enough sleep, and avoiding excessive consumption of caffeine and alcohol. A nutritious diet fuels your body and mind, while adequate sleep helps you recharge and face challenges with a clear mind.

Social Support

Connecting with others is an essential part of stress management. Whether it's friends, family, or support groups, having a network of people to turn to can provide comfort and perspective. Don't hesitate to reach out and share your feelings with those you trust. Sometimes, just talking things through can alleviate stress.

Conclusion

Stress is an inevitable part of life, but it doesn’t have to control you. By understanding stress and implementing these effective management techniques, you can significantly reduce its impact on your life. Remember, the goal is not to eliminate stress entirely, but to manage it in a way that allows you to live a healthier, more balanced life. Start today by trying out one or more of these techniques, and take the first step toward a stress-free future.

#James Donaldson notes:
Welcome to the “next chapter” of my life… being a voice and an advocate for #mentalhealthawarenessandsuicideprevention, especially pertaining to our younger generation of students and student-athletes.
Getting men to speak up and reach out for help and assistance is one of my passions. Us men need to not suffer in silence or drown our sorrows in alcohol, hang out at bars and strip joints, or get involved with drug use.
Having gone through a recent bout of #depression and #suicidalthoughts myself, I realize now, that I can make a huge difference in the lives of so many by sharing my story, and by sharing various resources I come across as I work in this space.  #http://bit.ly/JamesMentalHealthArticle
Find out more about the work I do on my 501c3 non-profit foundation
website www.yourgiftoflife.org Order your copy of James Donaldson's latest book,
#CelebratingYourGiftofLife: From The Verge of Suicide to a Life of Purpose and Joy

Click Here For More Information About James Donaldson

Click here to follow James Donaldson's Blog

FAQs

Q: How long does it take to see results from stress management techniques?

A: The time it takes to see results can vary depending on the individual and the techniques used. Some people may notice improvements within a few days, while others may take a few weeks. Consistency is key, so make stress management a regular part of your routine.

Q: Can stress management techniques help with severe anxiety or depression?

A: While stress management techniques can be beneficial, they are not a substitute for professional treatment. If you are experiencing severe anxiety or depression, it’s important to seek help from a healthcare provider.

Q: Are there any apps that can help with stress management?

A: Yes, there are many apps designed to help with stress management, including Headspace for meditation, MyFitnessPal for exercise tracking, and Todoist for time management. These tools can provide additional support and guidance.

Q: Can stress management techniques improve work performance?

A: Absolutely. By reducing stress, you can improve focus, enhance decision-making, and boost productivity, all of which can lead to better performance at work.

https://standingabovethecrowd.com/stress-management-techniques-that-actually-work/

Every 11 minutes, someone in the U.S. dies by suicide. If you are struggling, or know someone who is struggling, keep reading.

Susan Tolle has been involved with the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention (AFSP) for nearly 10 years as an educator, advocate, and volunteer, equipping over 4,000 people with suicide education.

“The more we talk about suicide, the more lives we can save,” explained Tolle.

Tolle’s passion for prevention began in 2016 when her daughter was going through crisis.

“I could find hardly any resources to help her and she had gone through three different suicide attempts.”

Tolle shares that stigma around suicide had resulted in this lack of resources.

“I started talking about my daughter’s experience and remember very clearly a friend of mine said to me after I had shared a story in the newspaper, ‘Susan, how can you air your dirty laundry in the newspaper?’”

Tolle shared the hurt that came along with this comment.

“I don’t look at my daughter’s mental health crisis as dirty laundry. This is the stigma that we have to overcome.”

Suicide, being the 11th leading cause of death in the U.S., affects nearly every community and demographic.

“People say ‘she’s crazy, that’s why she’s trying to kill herself,’ or ‘He drove his company to bankruptcy.’ They try to explain it away, but there is not a single cause of suicide.”

Tolle explains the hopelessness that those experiencing suicidal ideation feel.

“They feel like they’re going down a tunnel and there is peace at the end when they are gone. They don’t look left or right and are very impulsive. That’s why it’s important to think about what’s going on in their minds that we may not know and how important it is to be kind and let others know how much we care about them.”

#James Donaldson notes:Welcome to the “next chapter” of my life… being a voice and an advocate for #mentalhealthawarenessandsuicideprevention, especially pertaining to our younger generation of students and student-athletes.Getting men to speak up and reach out for help and assistance is one of my passions. Us men need to not suffer in silence or drown our sorrows in alcohol, hang out at bars and strip joints, or get involved with drug use.Having gone through a recent bout of #depression and #suicidalthoughts myself, I realize now, that I can make a huge difference in the lives of so many by sharing my story, and by sharing various resources I come across as I work in this space.  #http://bit.ly/JamesMentalHealthArticleFind out more about the work I do on my 501c3 non-profit foundationwebsite www.yourgiftoflife.org Order your copy of James Donaldson's latest book,#CelebratingYourGiftofLife: From The Verge of Suicide to a Life of Purpose and Joy

Click Here For More Information About James Donaldson

There are 22 warning signs to watch for categorized into what a person says, does, and acts. AFSP lists them as follows:

If a person talks about:

- Killing themselves

- Feeling hopeless

- Having no reason to live

- Being a burden to others

- Feeling trapped

- Unbearable pain

Behaviors that may signal risk, especially if related to a painful event, loss or change:

- Increased use of alcohol or drugs

- Looking for a way to end their lives, such as searching online for methods

- Withdrawing from activities

- Isolating from family and friends

- Sleeping too much or too little

- Visiting or calling people to say goodbye

- Giving away prized possessions

- Aggression

- Fatigue

People who are considering suicide often display one or more of the following moods:

- Depression

- Anxiety

- Loss of interest

- Irritability

- Humiliation/Shame

- Agitation/Anger

- Relief/Sudden Improvement

Tolle encourages parents to monitor their children’s devices, especially if they are concerned for their mental health.

“I tell parents all the time to snoop. Go into their search history. They don’t need to know. You might think it’s unfair to them, but it’s about your kid’s life. Snoop.”

If you or someone you know is struggling, help is available from trained professionals through the National Suicide Hotline by calling 988 or texting TALK to 741-741.

“We advocated for a three-digit number that people will remember. Veterans can call that number and press one and it goes immediately to somebody who specializes in veteran crisis. When we first launched it, we received millions of calls.”

Remember, you aren’t alone. It’s time to stop the stigma around suicide. https://standingabovethecrowd.com/?p=15668

What parents can do when kids are having teacher troubles

Writer: Rae Jacobson, MS

What You'll Learn

- Why might some kids clash with their teachers?

- How can parents help kids resolve conflicts with teachers?

- When should you step in and talk to the teacher directly?

- Quick Read

- Full Article

- Take it seriously

- Talk it through

- Make a plan

- Reach out

Teachers can have a big impact on kids. And usually that’s great! But when your child is having trouble with a teacher it can be very upsetting. Trouble with teachers can leave kids feeling hurt or anxious. Kids might worry that their teacher’s frustration means they’re a bad kid or a bad student.

Kids with learning issues often hear feedback as criticism. For example, your child’s teacher says: “Your essay had a lot of great ideas. But it seems like you had some trouble organizing them.” Your child hears: “This essay was a mess. You’re a bad student.” Learning issues, anxiety and ADHD can also lead to real problems at school. Behaviors like forgetting to hand in homework or acting out in class can be troubling for teachers. And kids may sense their frustration.

Parents can help by taking kids’ troubles seriously and helping them build skills to manage the situation. If your child is having trouble with a teacher, listen and validate their feelings. For example, instead of saying, “ I’m sure she likes you!” try: “That’s such a hard feeling! I’m glad you told me.”

Once your child is comfortable, help them reflect on the situation. Asking gentle, guiding questions can help. For example, “How did that make you feel? “Why do you think that happened?” “Has that happened before?” Help your child understand and name their feelings. For example, if your child reports their teacher called them out in class for being loud, you could say, “I wonder if that made you feel embarrassed.” Giving kids space to talk about how they’re feeling will help you, and your child, understand more about what’s going on.

When you and your child are ready, work together to make a plan. Help your child use their self-awareness to think of solutions. For example, if your child got in trouble for talking to a friend in class you could say, “I noticed that Mr. Tan often tells you to quiet down when sit with Jayden. What could we do about that?”

Work out a script your child can use with their teacher next time there’s a problem. For example: “Drawing helps me stay focused. I know it doesn’t look like I’m paying attention, but I am.”

If your child has an ongoing issue with a teacher, reach out and ask to meet. Let the teacher know how your child is feeling. Be patient. Make sure the teacher knows that you’re there to find a solution, not just vent. Asking questions can help. For example: “What accommodations might be helpful?” “Are there any interventions we can try at home?”

Trouble with teachers is a problem as old as school itself. So when your child comes home insisting that that their teacher hates them, it’s tempting to write off their complaints. 

But for kids who may already be feeling less-than-confident at school (especially those with ADHD or learning differences), teacher difficulties can be real problem. Kids may feel hurt or anxious about how their teacher treats them. Or they might read a teacher’s frustration as confirmation that they’re a bad student, or even a bad kid. But parents can help by taking kids’ teacher woes seriously, and helping them build the skills they need to manage the situation.

#James Donaldson notes:Welcome to the “next chapter” of my life… being a voice and an advocate for #mentalhealthawarenessandsuicideprevention, especially pertaining to our younger generation of students and student-athletes.Getting men to speak up and reach out for help and assistance is one of my passions. Us men need to not suffer in silence or drown our sorrows in alcohol, hang out at bars and strip joints, or get involved with drug use.Having gone through a recent bout of #depression and #suicidalthoughts myself, I realize now, that I can make a huge difference in the lives of so many by sharing my story, and by sharing various resources I come across as I work in this space.  #http://bit.ly/JamesMentalHealthArticleFind out more about the work I do on my 501c3 non-profit foundationwebsite www.yourgiftoflife.org Order your copy of James Donaldson's latest book,#CelebratingYourGiftofLife: From The Verge of Suicide to a Life of Purpose and Joy

Click Here For More Information About James Donaldson

Take it seriously

When kids express big feelings or concerns, it’s important to take them seriously. Saying “my teacher hates me!” might sound a little over-the-top but it’s important to remember that, to your child, that feeling is very real and very upsetting. If your child mentions they’re having trouble with a teacher, they’re first and foremost asking to feel heard and understood. Instead of saying “Oh I’m sure she likes you!” try saying: “Ugh. That’s such a hard feeling! I’m glad you told me.”

Some things to consider during this conversation with your child:

- Kids with ADHD, anxiety or learning issues are more likely to hear even mild feedback as heavy criticism. For example, your child’s teacher says: “Your essay had a lot of great ideas, but it seems like you had some trouble organizing them.” Your child hears: “This essay was a mess. You’re a bad student.”

- Your child is probably (sort of) right, at least in sensing the teacher’s frustration. Teachers are only human, and working with children with mental health, learning and behavioral issues can be challenging. The problems these issues cause — missing assignments, acting out in class, not paying attention — can lead to negative feedback (“Please sit down!”) and make the child-teacher relationship feel strained. Does this mean your child’s teacher “hates” them? No. But your child might be picking up on the teacher’s reactions to their behavior and interpreting them as dislike.

Talk it through

Kids with ADHD and mental health issues often struggle with self-reflection. Understanding how our actions and habits impact us is a key skill when it comes to making positive changes. But children with learning and mental health issues often get caught up in feelings that are instant — and intense. These big feelings don’t leave much space for reflection.

And experiences that trigger those feelings — like a negative interaction with a teacher — can leave kids overwhelmed in the moment, and hurt or avoidant afterwards. That’s why even an innocent after-school question like “How was your day?” can lead to baffling blowups.

Creating a safe place for your child to share feelings and asking gentle questions can help. Once you’ve acknowledged how your child is feeling, do your best to learn a little more the situation:

- Keep questions open-ended and non-judgmental. And be conscious of your own frustrations. For example, if homework battles are a nightly issue, when your child reports that “Mrs. Messina doesn’t like me!” it might be tempting to say, “Well, do you think she might be mad because you haven’t been turning in your homework?” But questions that imply blame are likely to make kids feel more upset and less able to reflect on their experiences. Instead, try questions like: “How did that make you feel?” “Why do you think that happened?” “Has that happened before?”

- Help kids understand and name their feelings. For example, if your child reports that their teacher called them out in class for being loud, you could say, “I wonder if that made you feel embarrassed.”

- Be patient. You probably won’t solve the problem in one conversation. Kids, especially younger ones, may need time to think things through. Let your child know that even if things are still challenging right now, you’re proud of them for reflecting on their feelings and working on finding a solution. Also, remember that kids may seem like they’ve moved on while they’re actually still thinking about their experiences and working on the problem, even if they don’t always share their thought process with you.

Giving kids space to talk about how they’re feeling will help you, and your child, understand more about what’s going on.

Make a plan

When you and your child are ready, work together to make a plan. Making sure kids feel like they’re “on the team” will give them a sense of agency and a chance to put their self-refection skills into action.

- Do some brainstorming! Help your child use their self-awareness to think of solutions. For example, if your child often gets reprimanded for talking to a friend in class you could say, “Hmm. I noticed that Mr. Tan often tells you to quiet down when you and Jayden sit together. What could we do about that?”

- Work out a script your child can use with their teacher next time there’s a problem. For example:

- “Drawing helps me stay focused. I know it doesn’t look like I’m paying attention, but I am.”

- “It made me feel embarrassed when you talked about my missing homework in front of the class. Could we talk after class?

- “I’m sorry I was being loud today.”

- “It might help me to take a few short breaks during the day when I’m having trouble sitting still.”

- Let your child take the lead, but make sure they know you’re there to help. Learning how to advocate for their needs will be a huge help to your child, both now and as they grow up.

Reach out

No matter the skills they develop, kids are, well, kids. And there’s a limit to what they can and should do. Encourage your child to speak up for their needs, but be ready to step in if it seems like grown-up intervention is necessary.

If you child is having an ongoing issue with a teacher, or even if you’re just concerned or curious, reach out and ask for a meeting. When you talk to your child’s teacher, let them know how your child has been feeling. Remember that the goal is to help your child feel safe and comfortable in class, and the teacher is your partner in getting there.

And it can’t be said enough: Teachers are people. Hearing that a child feels unwelcome or upset in their classroom may make your child’s teacher feel sad, frustrated or surprised: I didn’t realize she was feeling that way! Make sure the teacher knows that you’re there to find a solution, not just vent. Some questions to ask could be:

- What accommodations might be helpful here?

- Are there any interventions we can try at home?

- How have you handled similar issues in the past? What is usually helpful for kids with similar challenges?

- What are some things we can both do to build my child’s self-esteem?

Brainstorming together will help you, your child and their teacher feel like a team, and help keep the lines of communication open going forward.

Frequently Asked Questions

What can I do if my child says their teacher hates them?

If your child says their teacher hates them, it’s important to take it seriously and let them know you’re listening. Then, you can ask why they say that and work to address whatever they are doing (or not doing) that’s causing trouble with their teacher. https://standingabovethecrowd.com/?p=15917

James Donaldson on Mental Health - “My Teacher Hates Me!”

What parents can do when kids are having teacher troubles

Writer: Rae Jacobson, MS

What You'll Learn

- Why might some kids clash with their teachers?
- How can parents help kids resolve conflicts with teachers?
- When should you step in and talk to the teacher directly?
- Quick Read
- Full Article
- Take it seriously
- Talk it through
- Make a plan
- Reach out

Teachers can have a big impact on kids. And usually that’s great! But when your child is having trouble with a teacher it can be very upsetting. Trouble with teachers can leave kids feeling hurt or anxious. Kids might worry that their teacher’s frustration means they’re a bad kid or a bad student.

Kids with learning issues often hear feedback as criticism. For example, your child’s teacher says: “Your essay had a lot of great ideas. But it seems like you had some trouble organizing them.” Your child hears: “This essay was a mess. You’re a bad student.” Learning issues, anxiety and ADHD can also lead to real problems at school. Behaviors like forgetting to hand in homework or acting out in class can be troubling for teachers. And kids may sense their frustration.

Parents can help by taking kids’ troubles seriously and helping them build skills to manage the situation. If your child is having trouble with a teacher, listen and validate their feelings. For example, instead of saying, “ I’m sure she likes you!” try: “That’s such a hard feeling! I’m glad you told me.”

Once your child is comfortable, help them reflect on the situation. Asking gentle, guiding questions can help. For example, “How did that make you feel? “Why do you think that happened?” “Has that happened before?” Help your child understand and name their feelings. For example, if your child reports their teacher called them out in class for being loud, you could say, “I wonder if that made you feel embarrassed.” Giving kids space to talk about how they’re feeling will help you, and your child, understand more about what’s going on.

When you and your child are ready, work together to make a plan. Help your child use their self-awareness to think of solutions. For example, if your child got in trouble for talking to a friend in class you could say, “I noticed that Mr. Tan often tells you to quiet down when sit with Jayden. What could we do about that?”

Work out a script your child can use with their teacher next time there’s a problem. For example: “Drawing helps me stay focused. I know it doesn’t look like I’m paying attention, but I am.”

If your child has an ongoing issue with a teacher, reach out and ask to meet. Let the teacher know how your child is feeling. Be patient. Make sure the teacher knows that you’re there to find a solution, not just vent. Asking questions can help. For example: “What accommodations might be helpful?” “Are there any interventions we can try at home?”

Trouble with teachers is a problem as old as school itself. So when your child comes home insisting that that their teacher hates them, it’s tempting to write off their complaints. 

But for kids who may already be feeling less-than-confident at school (especially those with ADHD or learning differences), teacher difficulties can be real problem. Kids may feel hurt or anxious about how their teacher treats them. Or they might read a teacher’s frustration as confirmation that they’re a bad student, or even a bad kid. But parents can help by taking kids’ teacher woes seriously, and helping them build the skills they need to manage the situation.

#James Donaldson notes:
Welcome to the “next chapter” of my life… being a voice and an advocate for #mentalhealthawarenessandsuicideprevention, especially pertaining to our younger generation of students and student-athletes.
Getting men to speak up and reach out for help and assistance is one of my passions. Us men need to not suffer in silence or drown our sorrows in alcohol, hang out at bars and strip joints, or get involved with drug use.
Having gone through a recent bout of #depression and #suicidalthoughts myself, I realize now, that I can make a huge difference in the lives of so many by sharing my story, and by sharing various resources I come across as I work in this space.  #http://bit.ly/JamesMentalHealthArticle
Find out more about the work I do on my 501c3 non-profit foundation
website www.yourgiftoflife.org Order your copy of James Donaldson's latest book,
#CelebratingYourGiftofLife: From The Verge of Suicide to a Life of Purpose and Joy

Click Here For More Information About James Donaldson

Take it seriously

When kids express big feelings or concerns, it’s important to take them seriously. Saying “my teacher hates me!” might sound a little over-the-top but it’s important to remember that, to your child, that feeling is very real and very upsetting. If your child mentions they’re having trouble with a teacher, they’re first and foremost asking to feel heard and understood. Instead of saying “Oh I’m sure she likes you!” try saying: “Ugh. That’s such a hard feeling! I’m glad you told me.”

Some things to consider during this conversation with your child:

- Kids with ADHD, anxiety or learning issues are more likely to hear even mild feedback as heavy criticism. For example, your child’s teacher says: “Your essay had a lot of great ideas, but it seems like you had some trouble organizing them.” Your child hears: “This essay was a mess. You’re a bad student.”
- Your child is probably (sort of) right, at least in sensing the teacher’s frustration. Teachers are only human, and working with children with mental health, learning and behavioral issues can be challenging. The problems these issues cause — missing assignments, acting out in class, not paying attention — can lead to negative feedback (“Please sit down!”) and make the child-teacher relationship feel strained. Does this mean your child’s teacher “hates” them? No. But your child might be picking up on the teacher’s reactions to their behavior and interpreting them as dislike.

Talk it through

Kids with ADHD and mental health issues often struggle with self-reflection. Understanding how our actions and habits impact us is a key skill when it comes to making positive changes. But children with learning and mental health issues often get caught up in feelings that are instant — and intense. These big feelings don’t leave much space for reflection.

And experiences that trigger those feelings — like a negative interaction with a teacher — can leave kids overwhelmed in the moment, and hurt or avoidant afterwards. That’s why even an innocent after-school question like “How was your day?” can lead to baffling blowups.

Creating a safe place for your child to share feelings and asking gentle questions can help. Once you’ve acknowledged how your child is feeling, do your best to learn a little more the situation:

- Keep questions open-ended and non-judgmental. And be conscious of your own frustrations. For example, if homework battles are a nightly issue, when your child reports that “Mrs. Messina doesn’t like me!” it might be tempting to say, “Well, do you think she might be mad because you haven’t been turning in your homework?” But questions that imply blame are likely to make kids feel more upset and less able to reflect on their experiences. Instead, try questions like: “How did that make you feel?” “Why do you think that happened?” “Has that happened before?”
- Help kids understand and name their feelings. For example, if your child reports that their teacher called them out in class for being loud, you could say, “I wonder if that made you feel embarrassed.”
- Be patient. You probably won’t solve the problem in one conversation. Kids, especially younger ones, may need time to think things through. Let your child know that even if things are still challenging right now, you’re proud of them for reflecting on their feelings and working on finding a solution. Also, remember that kids may seem like they’ve moved on while they’re actually still thinking about their experiences and working on the problem, even if they don’t always share their thought process with you.

Giving kids space to talk about how they’re feeling will help you, and your child, understand more about what’s going on.

Make a plan

When you and your child are ready, work together to make a plan. Making sure kids feel like they’re “on the team” will give them a sense of agency and a chance to put their self-refection skills into action.

- Do some brainstorming! Help your child use their self-awareness to think of solutions. For example, if your child often gets reprimanded for talking to a friend in class you could say, “Hmm. I noticed that Mr. Tan often tells you to quiet down when you and Jayden sit together. What could we do about that?”
- Work out a script your child can use with their teacher next time there’s a problem. For example:
- “Drawing helps me stay focused. I know it doesn’t look like I’m paying attention, but I am.”
- “It made me feel embarrassed when you talked about my missing homework in front of the class. Could we talk after class?
- “I’m sorry I was being loud today.”
- “It might help me to take a few short breaks during the day when I’m having trouble sitting still.”
- Let your child take the lead, but make sure they know you’re there to help. Learning how to advocate for their needs will be a huge help to your child, both now and as they grow up.

Reach out

No matter the skills they develop, kids are, well, kids. And there’s a limit to what they can and should do. Encourage your child to speak up for their needs, but be ready to step in if it seems like grown-up intervention is necessary.

If you child is having an ongoing issue with a teacher, or even if you’re just concerned or curious, reach out and ask for a meeting. When you talk to your child’s teacher, let them know how your child has been feeling. Remember that the goal is to help your child feel safe and comfortable in class, and the teacher is your partner in getting there.

And it can’t be said enough: Teachers are people. Hearing that a child feels unwelcome or upset in their classroom may make your child’s teacher feel sad, frustrated or surprised: I didn’t realize she was feeling that way! Make sure the teacher knows that you’re there to find a solution, not just vent. Some questions to ask could be:

- What accommodations might be helpful here?
- Are there any interventions we can try at home?
- How have you handled similar issues in the past? What is usually helpful for kids with similar challenges?
- What are some things we can both do to build my child’s self-esteem?

Brainstorming together will help you, your child and their teacher feel like a team, and help keep the lines of communication open going forward.

Frequently Asked Questions

What can I do if my child says their teacher hates them?

If your child says their teacher hates them, it’s important to take it seriously and let them know you’re listening. Then, you can ask why they say that and work to address whatever they are doing (or not doing) that’s causing trouble with their teacher.

https://standingabovethecrowd.com/james-donaldson-on-mental-health-my-teacher-hates-me/