Photo by Tristan Le on Pexels.com
By Erin P.
During the first few years of my husband’s journey navigating #mentalillness, people often told me that I needed to take care of my own health. When they offered this advice, I thought, “Sure, eventually. But we need to devote all our energy to getting him through this, and then we can focus on my health again.”
Four years later, my husband finally stabilized to the point where he no longer required hospitalizations. The constant worry about his health, however, had taken its toll on me. I felt constantly on edge; every symptom my husband displayed sent me into an #anxiety spiral. Amid the #stress of helping my husband recover, I forgot an important lesson: You need to help yourself before you can help others.
To anyone who may be caring for a #spouse or loved one and grappling with guilt when taking time for yourself, please remember that you are worthy of time and care — and the better you care for yourself, the better you can care for your loved one.
#JamesDonaldson notes:
Welcome to the “next chapter” of my life… being a voice and an advocate for #mentalhealthawarenessandsuicideprevention, especially pertaining to our younger generation of students and student-athletes.
Getting men to speak up and reach out for help and assistance is one of my passions. Us men need to not suffer in silence or drown our sorrows in alcohol, hang out at bars and strip joints, or get involved with drug use.
Having gone through a recent bout of #depression and #suicidalthoughts myself, I realize now, that I can make a huge difference in the lives of so many by sharing my story, and by sharing various resources I come across as I work in this space. #http://bit.ly/JamesMentalHealthArticle
After reflecting on my journey as the #spouse of (and caregiver for) someone living with #mentalillness, I have identified four practices that improve my health and my relationship with my husband.
Embrace A Routine That Works For You
When your #spouse is ill, caregiving and balancing life’s challenges tend to throw off your typical routine, which I have found is key to maintaining your own health while caregiving.
Articles promoting self-care measures are constantly preaching the benefits of getting a massage or taking a bubble bath. The reality of the situation, however, is that one massage or one bubble bath is not going to fix a life that’s off-kilter. Rather, you need to develop daily habits that sustain you.
I have found that exercising helps me feel more energetic and balanced. I follow this with a daily devotional of studying religious texts, praying and sometimes meditating. Taking time for these activities each day reduces my #stress and helps me more effectively tackle everything on my to do list. I also take daily walks in the afternoons and make sure I’ve taken time in the week to talk with a family member or a close friend.
This routine is what fulfills, relaxes and encourages me &mdashes; and I stick to it, even when my husband is unwell. I encourage you to cultivate the daily habits that sustain you, and to maintain these practices even during stressful times.
Find Your Circle
Another critical step in maintaining your own well-being is forming a trusted circle of people who can help you care for your #spouse. This group should be informed of your spouse’s health condition and willing to step in when you need support. All the caregiving should not and cannot fall to you. Sharing the load prevents you from burnout and strengthens your relationship with your #spouse as well.
Finding and developing this inner circle can be challenging. It requires an honest conversation with the people in your life; let them know what’s going on and what you might need. For me, this circle includes family, a few close friends and religious leaders. When my husband and I are struggling, I can reach out to them for help without having to explain the situation.
Recently, when my husband was struggling, I had to take on more household responsibilities on top of taking care of him and balancing a difficult work schedule. On top of it, my family coming to town, which added extra work to my plate. So I asked my mom to spend a few hours helping me once she arrived. She was happy to help, and I felt some of my burden was lifted.
Relying on your trusted circle means asking for help when you need it. This can make you feel vulnerable, but often you’ll find that there are people willing to help, they just don’t know how. Being clear about your situation helps them help you. It’s also important to remember that the loved ones worthy of your confidence will be understanding when it comes to your spouse’s #mentalhealthcondition.
Open Up
When your #spouse is struggling, and you’re shouldering much of the caregiving responsibilities, you’re going to need to talk about your experiences. Bottling fears, thoughts and even resentments can make these feelings even more powerful and hurtful.
One option is to share with a trusted family member or friend. If you don’t want to betray your spouse’s trust by talking in depth about their health and struggles, you can talk about how the situation is affecting you. Your feelings are valid and worthy of attention.
However, perhaps the best source for guidance and support is the right therapist. I say the “right therapist” because some are going to be a better fit for you than others. You may want to gather recommendations and meet with several practitioners to see what relationship fits best. Personally, I found that when I sought treatment for my anxiety through therapy and medication, my capacity to support my husband was greatly enhanced. I had the same life struggles as before, but I felt better able to handle them.
I’ve also found support groups to be extremely helpful. Being able to talk with others in a similar situation and share wisdom from your #mentalhealth journey is so important. I attended a #NAMI Family-to-Family class and then a #NAMI support group for spouses and partners, both of which I would highly recommend. As I heard other people talk about their situations, I felt that I wasn’t alone in my struggle. Being able to offer friendship and advice to others in similar circumstances also brought meaning to my challenges.
Look For The Good
My final recommendation is to look for the good in your life. If your #spouse is struggling with an illness, it can feel like your life turned out much differently than you imagined — and this can be a painful realization. But there are always going to be small victories and unexpected joys. Keeping a gratitude journal and looking for the small blessings will sustain you. This also provides a unique opportunity to notice your spouse’s strengths and what you love about them.
Even in my husband’s lowest times, his love for me has never wavered. Once while he was in the hospital, he made me a beautiful origami flower. I put the flower in a vase and will keep it for the rest of my life as a reminder that, while our lives may have turned out differently than we planned, our love for each other is always there.
I hope that you, too, have your own “origami flower” to hold onto during the darker times as you hope for a better tomorrow.
Erin P. is a writer and English #teacher living in Virginia with her husband. In her free time, she enjoys swimming, biking, Zumba, reading and serving the #youth at her church. She is a proud #mentalhealth advocate and recently launched a website for spouses of people with #mentalillness.
Photo by Tristan Le on Pexels.com
https://standingabovethecrowd.com/?p=8558
Saturday, January 8, 2022
Photo by Tristan Le on Pexels.com
By Erin P.
During the first few years of my husband’s journey navigating #mentalillness, people often told me that I needed to take care of my own health. When they offered this advice, I thought, “Sure, eventually. But we need to devote all our energy to getting him through this, and then we can focus on my health again.”
Four years later, my husband finally stabilized to the point where he no longer required hospitalizations. The constant worry about his health, however, had taken its toll on me. I felt constantly on edge; every symptom my husband displayed sent me into an #anxiety spiral. Amid the #stress of helping my husband recover, I forgot an important lesson: You need to help yourself before you can help others.
To anyone who may be caring for a #spouse or loved one and grappling with guilt when taking time for yourself, please remember that you are worthy of time and care — and the better you care for yourself, the better you can care for your loved one.
#JamesDonaldson notes:
Welcome to the “next chapter” of my life… being a voice and an advocate for #mentalhealthawarenessandsuicideprevention, especially pertaining to our younger generation of students and student-athletes.
Getting men to speak up and reach out for help and assistance is one of my passions. Us men need to not suffer in silence or drown our sorrows in alcohol, hang out at bars and strip joints, or get involved with drug use.
Having gone through a recent bout of #depression and #suicidalthoughts myself, I realize now, that I can make a huge difference in the lives of so many by sharing my story, and by sharing various resources I come across as I work in this space. #http://bit.ly/JamesMentalHealthArticle
After reflecting on my journey as the #spouse of (and caregiver for) someone living with #mentalillness, I have identified four practices that improve my health and my relationship with my husband.
Embrace A Routine That Works For You
When your #spouse is ill, caregiving and balancing life’s challenges tend to throw off your typical routine, which I have found is key to maintaining your own health while caregiving.
Articles promoting self-care measures are constantly preaching the benefits of getting a massage or taking a bubble bath. The reality of the situation, however, is that one massage or one bubble bath is not going to fix a life that’s off-kilter. Rather, you need to develop daily habits that sustain you.
I have found that exercising helps me feel more energetic and balanced. I follow this with a daily devotional of studying religious texts, praying and sometimes meditating. Taking time for these activities each day reduces my #stress and helps me more effectively tackle everything on my to do list. I also take daily walks in the afternoons and make sure I’ve taken time in the week to talk with a family member or a close friend.
This routine is what fulfills, relaxes and encourages me &mdashes; and I stick to it, even when my husband is unwell. I encourage you to cultivate the daily habits that sustain you, and to maintain these practices even during stressful times.
Find Your Circle
Another critical step in maintaining your own well-being is forming a trusted circle of people who can help you care for your #spouse. This group should be informed of your spouse’s health condition and willing to step in when you need support. All the caregiving should not and cannot fall to you. Sharing the load prevents you from burnout and strengthens your relationship with your #spouse as well.
Finding and developing this inner circle can be challenging. It requires an honest conversation with the people in your life; let them know what’s going on and what you might need. For me, this circle includes family, a few close friends and religious leaders. When my husband and I are struggling, I can reach out to them for help without having to explain the situation.
Recently, when my husband was struggling, I had to take on more household responsibilities on top of taking care of him and balancing a difficult work schedule. On top of it, my family coming to town, which added extra work to my plate. So I asked my mom to spend a few hours helping me once she arrived. She was happy to help, and I felt some of my burden was lifted.
Relying on your trusted circle means asking for help when you need it. This can make you feel vulnerable, but often you’ll find that there are people willing to help, they just don’t know how. Being clear about your situation helps them help you. It’s also important to remember that the loved ones worthy of your confidence will be understanding when it comes to your spouse’s #mentalhealthcondition.
Open Up
When your #spouse is struggling, and you’re shouldering much of the caregiving responsibilities, you’re going to need to talk about your experiences. Bottling fears, thoughts and even resentments can make these feelings even more powerful and hurtful.
One option is to share with a trusted family member or friend. If you don’t want to betray your spouse’s trust by talking in depth about their health and struggles, you can talk about how the situation is affecting you. Your feelings are valid and worthy of attention.
However, perhaps the best source for guidance and support is the right therapist. I say the “right therapist” because some are going to be a better fit for you than others. You may want to gather recommendations and meet with several practitioners to see what relationship fits best. Personally, I found that when I sought treatment for my anxiety through therapy and medication, my capacity to support my husband was greatly enhanced. I had the same life struggles as before, but I felt better able to handle them.
I’ve also found support groups to be extremely helpful. Being able to talk with others in a similar situation and share wisdom from your #mentalhealth journey is so important. I attended a #NAMI Family-to-Family class and then a #NAMI support group for spouses and partners, both of which I would highly recommend. As I heard other people talk about their situations, I felt that I wasn’t alone in my struggle. Being able to offer friendship and advice to others in similar circumstances also brought meaning to my challenges.
Look For The Good
My final recommendation is to look for the good in your life. If your #spouse is struggling with an illness, it can feel like your life turned out much differently than you imagined — and this can be a painful realization. But there are always going to be small victories and unexpected joys. Keeping a gratitude journal and looking for the small blessings will sustain you. This also provides a unique opportunity to notice your spouse’s strengths and what you love about them.
Even in my husband’s lowest times, his love for me has never wavered. Once while he was in the hospital, he made me a beautiful origami flower. I put the flower in a vase and will keep it for the rest of my life as a reminder that, while our lives may have turned out differently than we planned, our love for each other is always there.
I hope that you, too, have your own “origami flower” to hold onto during the darker times as you hope for a better tomorrow.
Erin P. is a writer and English #teacher living in Virginia with her husband. In her free time, she enjoys swimming, biking, Zumba, reading and serving the #youth at her church. She is a proud #mentalhealth advocate and recently launched a website for spouses of people with #mentalillness.
Photo by Tristan Le on Pexels.com
https://standingabovethecrowd.com/?p=8558
By Erin P.
During the first few years of my husband’s journey navigating #mentalillness, people often told me that I needed to take care of my own health. When they offered this advice, I thought, “Sure, eventually. But we need to devote all our energy to getting him through this, and then we can focus on my health again.”
Four years later, my husband finally stabilized to the point where he no longer required hospitalizations. The constant worry about his health, however, had taken its toll on me. I felt constantly on edge; every symptom my husband displayed sent me into an #anxiety spiral. Amid the #stress of helping my husband recover, I forgot an important lesson: You need to help yourself before you can help others.
To anyone who may be caring for a #spouse or loved one and grappling with guilt when taking time for yourself, please remember that you are worthy of time and care — and the better you care for yourself, the better you can care for your loved one.
#JamesDonaldson notes:
Welcome to the “next chapter” of my life… being a voice and an advocate for #mentalhealthawarenessandsuicideprevention, especially pertaining to our younger generation of students and student-athletes.
Getting men to speak up and reach out for help and assistance is one of my passions. Us men need to not suffer in silence or drown our sorrows in alcohol, hang out at bars and strip joints, or get involved with drug use.
Having gone through a recent bout of #depression and #suicidalthoughts myself, I realize now, that I can make a huge difference in the lives of so many by sharing my story, and by sharing various resources I come across as I work in this space. #http://bit.ly/JamesMentalHealthArticle
After reflecting on my journey as the #spouse of (and caregiver for) someone living with #mentalillness, I have identified four practices that improve my health and my relationship with my husband.
Embrace A Routine That Works For You
When your #spouse is ill, caregiving and balancing life’s challenges tend to throw off your typical routine, which I have found is key to maintaining your own health while caregiving.
Articles promoting self-care measures are constantly preaching the benefits of getting a massage or taking a bubble bath. The reality of the situation, however, is that one massage or one bubble bath is not going to fix a life that’s off-kilter. Rather, you need to develop daily habits that sustain you.
I have found that exercising helps me feel more energetic and balanced. I follow this with a daily devotional of studying religious texts, praying and sometimes meditating. Taking time for these activities each day reduces my #stress and helps me more effectively tackle everything on my to do list. I also take daily walks in the afternoons and make sure I’ve taken time in the week to talk with a family member or a close friend.
This routine is what fulfills, relaxes and encourages me &mdashes; and I stick to it, even when my husband is unwell. I encourage you to cultivate the daily habits that sustain you, and to maintain these practices even during stressful times.
Find Your Circle
Another critical step in maintaining your own well-being is forming a trusted circle of people who can help you care for your #spouse. This group should be informed of your spouse’s health condition and willing to step in when you need support. All the caregiving should not and cannot fall to you. Sharing the load prevents you from burnout and strengthens your relationship with your #spouse as well.
Finding and developing this inner circle can be challenging. It requires an honest conversation with the people in your life; let them know what’s going on and what you might need. For me, this circle includes family, a few close friends and religious leaders. When my husband and I are struggling, I can reach out to them for help without having to explain the situation.
Recently, when my husband was struggling, I had to take on more household responsibilities on top of taking care of him and balancing a difficult work schedule. On top of it, my family coming to town, which added extra work to my plate. So I asked my mom to spend a few hours helping me once she arrived. She was happy to help, and I felt some of my burden was lifted.
Relying on your trusted circle means asking for help when you need it. This can make you feel vulnerable, but often you’ll find that there are people willing to help, they just don’t know how. Being clear about your situation helps them help you. It’s also important to remember that the loved ones worthy of your confidence will be understanding when it comes to your spouse’s #mentalhealthcondition.
Open Up
When your #spouse is struggling, and you’re shouldering much of the caregiving responsibilities, you’re going to need to talk about your experiences. Bottling fears, thoughts and even resentments can make these feelings even more powerful and hurtful.
One option is to share with a trusted family member or friend. If you don’t want to betray your spouse’s trust by talking in depth about their health and struggles, you can talk about how the situation is affecting you. Your feelings are valid and worthy of attention.
However, perhaps the best source for guidance and support is the right therapist. I say the “right therapist” because some are going to be a better fit for you than others. You may want to gather recommendations and meet with several practitioners to see what relationship fits best. Personally, I found that when I sought treatment for my anxiety through therapy and medication, my capacity to support my husband was greatly enhanced. I had the same life struggles as before, but I felt better able to handle them.
I’ve also found support groups to be extremely helpful. Being able to talk with others in a similar situation and share wisdom from your #mentalhealth journey is so important. I attended a #NAMI Family-to-Family class and then a #NAMI support group for spouses and partners, both of which I would highly recommend. As I heard other people talk about their situations, I felt that I wasn’t alone in my struggle. Being able to offer friendship and advice to others in similar circumstances also brought meaning to my challenges.
Look For The Good
My final recommendation is to look for the good in your life. If your #spouse is struggling with an illness, it can feel like your life turned out much differently than you imagined — and this can be a painful realization. But there are always going to be small victories and unexpected joys. Keeping a gratitude journal and looking for the small blessings will sustain you. This also provides a unique opportunity to notice your spouse’s strengths and what you love about them.
Even in my husband’s lowest times, his love for me has never wavered. Once while he was in the hospital, he made me a beautiful origami flower. I put the flower in a vase and will keep it for the rest of my life as a reminder that, while our lives may have turned out differently than we planned, our love for each other is always there.
I hope that you, too, have your own “origami flower” to hold onto during the darker times as you hope for a better tomorrow.
Erin P. is a writer and English #teacher living in Virginia with her husband. In her free time, she enjoys swimming, biking, Zumba, reading and serving the #youth at her church. She is a proud #mentalhealth advocate and recently launched a website for spouses of people with #mentalillness.
Photo by Tristan Le on Pexels.com
https://standingabovethecrowd.com/?p=8558
Friday, January 7, 2022
Photo by Brett Sayles on Pexels.com
By Ginger Robertson
Nothing fully prepared me for my daughter’s #mentalhealth journey, not even being a #nurse with a personal history of #mentalillness. I am not proud of how I discovered that she was suffering, nor do I recommend it; I happened upon and read one of her private emails. However, I can’t say I regret finding out what was going on with my #daughter. That email started a journey that may have saved her life — what I regret is that I was not able to intervene sooner.
As I grappled with my regrets, I told myself that I could have prevented my daughter’s pain, and I convinced myself that it was my responsibility to ensure she never struggled again. However, as both my #daughter and I have progressed in our #mentalhealth journeys, I have learned that my guilt was lying to me — that it placed far too much blame on me and left little room for understanding, healing and acceptance.
#JamesDonaldson notes:
Welcome to the “next chapter” of my life… being a voice and an advocate for #mentalhealthawarenessandsuicideprevention, especially pertaining to our younger generation of students and student-athletes.
Getting men to speak up and reach out for help and assistance is one of my passions. Us men need to not suffer in silence or drown our sorrows in alcohol, hang out at bars and strip joints, or get involved with drug use.
Having gone through a recent bout of #depression and #suicidalthoughts myself, I realize now, that I can make a huge difference in the lives of so many by sharing my story, and by sharing various resources I come across as I work in this space. #http://bit.ly/JamesMentalHealthArticle
I want to share some of these lies and how I overcame my negative internal dialogue.
I Should Have Been Telepathic
I often scolded myself for not knowing what my #daughter was going through.
I should have seen the signs. There were some signs. Why was I so blind? I am a terrible mother for not being more in tune with my child, for not knowing.
With time and reflection, I realized that even good #parents can’t always know how their #children are feeling. My #daughter did not tell me what she was going through for many months; she purposefully hid her pain from me. While it hurts me that she didn’t confide in me, I have come to understand that this was her journey, and she had her reasons for wanting privacy. Ultimately, I had no way of knowing early on.
It’s All My Fault
As my #daughter struggled with her #mentalhealth, I believed that my parenting was responsible for her pain.
This is happening because I did A, B and C (insert a moment in time or a decision) and I did not do X, Y or Z. I should have known better. I should have...I could have...If I had only...
As I have reflected on the last decade, I have truly come to understand that no one is “at fault” for our situation, and I cannot claim responsibility. My daughter’s #mentalillness could have had many origins: Perhaps she struggled because our family has a genetic predisposition to #mentalillness, or maybe she internalized negative messages that our society markets to young #women.
What I know is that I have done my best in raising her, and I have to trust that I loved my #daughter and prepared her for life in every way I know how.
It Is My Job To “Fix” It
After discovering that my daughter was struggling, I slept on the floor of her room every night for more than a month, just to make sure she was safe. I barely slept during this time and felt like I had to track her every movement. If she did not answer the phone, I called all her friends asking if they had heard from her within the last five minutes. I called her work. I gave myself panic attacks doing these things. I locked up every potentially sharp object in my home.
With time, I’ve learned that I can’t fix everything, and my #daughter has the right to decide how she will cope. It took both time and counseling for me to trust my #daughter to care for herself after I discovered she was struggling. I can even remember the feeling of trust returning during a joint counseling session. Ultimately, our relationship and communication improved, especially after I encouraged her to feel empowered to make the best decisions for herself.
My Advice To Caregivers Who Blame Themselves
To any caregivers experiencing a similar internal dialogue, please know that it is ok to go through a process of guilt and doubt. It is ok that you may have told yourself these lies — in fact, it is normal. What I will ask of you is that you don’t get stuck in the lies. Breaking free of blame and guilt will allow you to better care for your loved one.
I also urge you to be #patient with yourself; one self-talk session wasn’t enough for me to overcome an overwhelming internal dialogue. Talk therapy with trained professionals helped me to understand what I was feeling and how to step back and address it. It took multiple sessions and lots of time.
Moving Forward
For a long time, I questioned my closeness with my #daughter and my abilities as a #parent. I thought we were close, but how close could we have been if she didn’t confide in me? Shouldn’t our relationship have protected her from pain?
Now, I can tell myself that we were close, and I was there for her. I took action and helped her get the care she needed. As a result of this caregiving journey, she and I have become even closer. We’ve learned so much about each other and about how to communicate; this new closeness is real, raw and growing.
My hope is that other caregivers can reach this point, with the support of loved ones and #mentalhealthcareprofessionals. I did not get here without caring for myself with the same vigor that I cared for my #daughter. By processing my situation and leaning on a supportive circle, I was able to prioritize my own #mentalhealth and be strong for my #daughter. Caregivers deserve healing, too.
I wish anyone in this position luck in their healing. It can be a lengthy process — but it’s doable and worth it.
Ginger Robertson, an RN of nine years, entered nursing school the year her daughter started kindergarten in order to better her life. Now 17, her daughter is attending to the University of Dakota, majoring in #psychology. Ginger hopes their story will offer hope to other families living with #mentalillness.
Photo by Brett Sayles on Pexels.com
https://standingabovethecrowd.com/?p=8556
By Ginger Robertson
Nothing fully prepared me for my daughter’s #mentalhealth journey, not even being a #nurse with a personal history of #mentalillness. I am not proud of how I discovered that she was suffering, nor do I recommend it; I happened upon and read one of her private emails. However, I can’t say I regret finding out what was going on with my #daughter. That email started a journey that may have saved her life — what I regret is that I was not able to intervene sooner.
As I grappled with my regrets, I told myself that I could have prevented my daughter’s pain, and I convinced myself that it was my responsibility to ensure she never struggled again. However, as both my #daughter and I have progressed in our #mentalhealth journeys, I have learned that my guilt was lying to me — that it placed far too much blame on me and left little room for understanding, healing and acceptance.
#JamesDonaldson notes:
Welcome to the “next chapter” of my life… being a voice and an advocate for #mentalhealthawarenessandsuicideprevention, especially pertaining to our younger generation of students and student-athletes.
Getting men to speak up and reach out for help and assistance is one of my passions. Us men need to not suffer in silence or drown our sorrows in alcohol, hang out at bars and strip joints, or get involved with drug use.
Having gone through a recent bout of #depression and #suicidalthoughts myself, I realize now, that I can make a huge difference in the lives of so many by sharing my story, and by sharing various resources I come across as I work in this space. #http://bit.ly/JamesMentalHealthArticle
I want to share some of these lies and how I overcame my negative internal dialogue.
I Should Have Been Telepathic
I often scolded myself for not knowing what my #daughter was going through.
I should have seen the signs. There were some signs. Why was I so blind? I am a terrible mother for not being more in tune with my child, for not knowing.
With time and reflection, I realized that even good #parents can’t always know how their #children are feeling. My #daughter did not tell me what she was going through for many months; she purposefully hid her pain from me. While it hurts me that she didn’t confide in me, I have come to understand that this was her journey, and she had her reasons for wanting privacy. Ultimately, I had no way of knowing early on.
It’s All My Fault
As my #daughter struggled with her #mentalhealth, I believed that my parenting was responsible for her pain.
This is happening because I did A, B and C (insert a moment in time or a decision) and I did not do X, Y or Z. I should have known better. I should have...I could have...If I had only...
As I have reflected on the last decade, I have truly come to understand that no one is “at fault” for our situation, and I cannot claim responsibility. My daughter’s #mentalillness could have had many origins: Perhaps she struggled because our family has a genetic predisposition to #mentalillness, or maybe she internalized negative messages that our society markets to young #women.
What I know is that I have done my best in raising her, and I have to trust that I loved my #daughter and prepared her for life in every way I know how.
It Is My Job To “Fix” It
After discovering that my daughter was struggling, I slept on the floor of her room every night for more than a month, just to make sure she was safe. I barely slept during this time and felt like I had to track her every movement. If she did not answer the phone, I called all her friends asking if they had heard from her within the last five minutes. I called her work. I gave myself panic attacks doing these things. I locked up every potentially sharp object in my home.
With time, I’ve learned that I can’t fix everything, and my #daughter has the right to decide how she will cope. It took both time and counseling for me to trust my #daughter to care for herself after I discovered she was struggling. I can even remember the feeling of trust returning during a joint counseling session. Ultimately, our relationship and communication improved, especially after I encouraged her to feel empowered to make the best decisions for herself.
My Advice To Caregivers Who Blame Themselves
To any caregivers experiencing a similar internal dialogue, please know that it is ok to go through a process of guilt and doubt. It is ok that you may have told yourself these lies — in fact, it is normal. What I will ask of you is that you don’t get stuck in the lies. Breaking free of blame and guilt will allow you to better care for your loved one.
I also urge you to be #patient with yourself; one self-talk session wasn’t enough for me to overcome an overwhelming internal dialogue. Talk therapy with trained professionals helped me to understand what I was feeling and how to step back and address it. It took multiple sessions and lots of time.
Moving Forward
For a long time, I questioned my closeness with my #daughter and my abilities as a #parent. I thought we were close, but how close could we have been if she didn’t confide in me? Shouldn’t our relationship have protected her from pain?
Now, I can tell myself that we were close, and I was there for her. I took action and helped her get the care she needed. As a result of this caregiving journey, she and I have become even closer. We’ve learned so much about each other and about how to communicate; this new closeness is real, raw and growing.
My hope is that other caregivers can reach this point, with the support of loved ones and #mentalhealthcareprofessionals. I did not get here without caring for myself with the same vigor that I cared for my #daughter. By processing my situation and leaning on a supportive circle, I was able to prioritize my own #mentalhealth and be strong for my #daughter. Caregivers deserve healing, too.
I wish anyone in this position luck in their healing. It can be a lengthy process — but it’s doable and worth it.
Ginger Robertson, an RN of nine years, entered nursing school the year her daughter started kindergarten in order to better her life. Now 17, her daughter is attending to the University of Dakota, majoring in #psychology. Ginger hopes their story will offer hope to other families living with #mentalillness.
Photo by Brett Sayles on Pexels.com
https://standingabovethecrowd.com/?p=8556
Photo by Brett Sayles on Pexels.com
By Ginger Robertson
Nothing fully prepared me for my daughter’s #mentalhealth journey, not even being a #nurse with a personal history of #mentalillness. I am not proud of how I discovered that she was suffering, nor do I recommend it; I happened upon and read one of her private emails. However, I can’t say I regret finding out what was going on with my #daughter. That email started a journey that may have saved her life — what I regret is that I was not able to intervene sooner.
As I grappled with my regrets, I told myself that I could have prevented my daughter’s pain, and I convinced myself that it was my responsibility to ensure she never struggled again. However, as both my #daughter and I have progressed in our #mentalhealth journeys, I have learned that my guilt was lying to me — that it placed far too much blame on me and left little room for understanding, healing and acceptance.
#JamesDonaldson notes:
Welcome to the “next chapter” of my life… being a voice and an advocate for #mentalhealthawarenessandsuicideprevention, especially pertaining to our younger generation of students and student-athletes.
Getting men to speak up and reach out for help and assistance is one of my passions. Us men need to not suffer in silence or drown our sorrows in alcohol, hang out at bars and strip joints, or get involved with drug use.
Having gone through a recent bout of #depression and #suicidalthoughts myself, I realize now, that I can make a huge difference in the lives of so many by sharing my story, and by sharing various resources I come across as I work in this space. #http://bit.ly/JamesMentalHealthArticle
I want to share some of these lies and how I overcame my negative internal dialogue.
I Should Have Been Telepathic
I often scolded myself for not knowing what my #daughter was going through.
I should have seen the signs. There were some signs. Why was I so blind? I am a terrible mother for not being more in tune with my child, for not knowing.
With time and reflection, I realized that even good #parents can’t always know how their #children are feeling. My #daughter did not tell me what she was going through for many months; she purposefully hid her pain from me. While it hurts me that she didn’t confide in me, I have come to understand that this was her journey, and she had her reasons for wanting privacy. Ultimately, I had no way of knowing early on.
It’s All My Fault
As my #daughter struggled with her #mentalhealth, I believed that my parenting was responsible for her pain.
This is happening because I did A, B and C (insert a moment in time or a decision) and I did not do X, Y or Z. I should have known better. I should have...I could have...If I had only...
As I have reflected on the last decade, I have truly come to understand that no one is “at fault” for our situation, and I cannot claim responsibility. My daughter’s #mentalillness could have had many origins: Perhaps she struggled because our family has a genetic predisposition to #mentalillness, or maybe she internalized negative messages that our society markets to young #women.
What I know is that I have done my best in raising her, and I have to trust that I loved my #daughter and prepared her for life in every way I know how.
It Is My Job To “Fix” It
After discovering that my daughter was struggling, I slept on the floor of her room every night for more than a month, just to make sure she was safe. I barely slept during this time and felt like I had to track her every movement. If she did not answer the phone, I called all her friends asking if they had heard from her within the last five minutes. I called her work. I gave myself panic attacks doing these things. I locked up every potentially sharp object in my home.
With time, I’ve learned that I can’t fix everything, and my #daughter has the right to decide how she will cope. It took both time and counseling for me to trust my #daughter to care for herself after I discovered she was struggling. I can even remember the feeling of trust returning during a joint counseling session. Ultimately, our relationship and communication improved, especially after I encouraged her to feel empowered to make the best decisions for herself.
My Advice To Caregivers Who Blame Themselves
To any caregivers experiencing a similar internal dialogue, please know that it is ok to go through a process of guilt and doubt. It is ok that you may have told yourself these lies — in fact, it is normal. What I will ask of you is that you don’t get stuck in the lies. Breaking free of blame and guilt will allow you to better care for your loved one.
I also urge you to be #patient with yourself; one self-talk session wasn’t enough for me to overcome an overwhelming internal dialogue. Talk therapy with trained professionals helped me to understand what I was feeling and how to step back and address it. It took multiple sessions and lots of time.
Moving Forward
For a long time, I questioned my closeness with my #daughter and my abilities as a #parent. I thought we were close, but how close could we have been if she didn’t confide in me? Shouldn’t our relationship have protected her from pain?
Now, I can tell myself that we were close, and I was there for her. I took action and helped her get the care she needed. As a result of this caregiving journey, she and I have become even closer. We’ve learned so much about each other and about how to communicate; this new closeness is real, raw and growing.
My hope is that other caregivers can reach this point, with the support of loved ones and #mentalhealthcareprofessionals. I did not get here without caring for myself with the same vigor that I cared for my #daughter. By processing my situation and leaning on a supportive circle, I was able to prioritize my own #mentalhealth and be strong for my #daughter. Caregivers deserve healing, too.
I wish anyone in this position luck in their healing. It can be a lengthy process — but it’s doable and worth it.
Ginger Robertson, an RN of nine years, entered nursing school the year her daughter started kindergarten in order to better her life. Now 17, her daughter is attending to the University of Dakota, majoring in #psychology. Ginger hopes their story will offer hope to other families living with #mentalillness.
Photo by Brett Sayles on Pexels.com
https://standingabovethecrowd.com/?p=8556
By Ginger Robertson
Nothing fully prepared me for my daughter’s #mentalhealth journey, not even being a #nurse with a personal history of #mentalillness. I am not proud of how I discovered that she was suffering, nor do I recommend it; I happened upon and read one of her private emails. However, I can’t say I regret finding out what was going on with my #daughter. That email started a journey that may have saved her life — what I regret is that I was not able to intervene sooner.
As I grappled with my regrets, I told myself that I could have prevented my daughter’s pain, and I convinced myself that it was my responsibility to ensure she never struggled again. However, as both my #daughter and I have progressed in our #mentalhealth journeys, I have learned that my guilt was lying to me — that it placed far too much blame on me and left little room for understanding, healing and acceptance.
#JamesDonaldson notes:
Welcome to the “next chapter” of my life… being a voice and an advocate for #mentalhealthawarenessandsuicideprevention, especially pertaining to our younger generation of students and student-athletes.
Getting men to speak up and reach out for help and assistance is one of my passions. Us men need to not suffer in silence or drown our sorrows in alcohol, hang out at bars and strip joints, or get involved with drug use.
Having gone through a recent bout of #depression and #suicidalthoughts myself, I realize now, that I can make a huge difference in the lives of so many by sharing my story, and by sharing various resources I come across as I work in this space. #http://bit.ly/JamesMentalHealthArticle
I want to share some of these lies and how I overcame my negative internal dialogue.
I Should Have Been Telepathic
I often scolded myself for not knowing what my #daughter was going through.
I should have seen the signs. There were some signs. Why was I so blind? I am a terrible mother for not being more in tune with my child, for not knowing.
With time and reflection, I realized that even good #parents can’t always know how their #children are feeling. My #daughter did not tell me what she was going through for many months; she purposefully hid her pain from me. While it hurts me that she didn’t confide in me, I have come to understand that this was her journey, and she had her reasons for wanting privacy. Ultimately, I had no way of knowing early on.
It’s All My Fault
As my #daughter struggled with her #mentalhealth, I believed that my parenting was responsible for her pain.
This is happening because I did A, B and C (insert a moment in time or a decision) and I did not do X, Y or Z. I should have known better. I should have...I could have...If I had only...
As I have reflected on the last decade, I have truly come to understand that no one is “at fault” for our situation, and I cannot claim responsibility. My daughter’s #mentalillness could have had many origins: Perhaps she struggled because our family has a genetic predisposition to #mentalillness, or maybe she internalized negative messages that our society markets to young #women.
What I know is that I have done my best in raising her, and I have to trust that I loved my #daughter and prepared her for life in every way I know how.
It Is My Job To “Fix” It
After discovering that my daughter was struggling, I slept on the floor of her room every night for more than a month, just to make sure she was safe. I barely slept during this time and felt like I had to track her every movement. If she did not answer the phone, I called all her friends asking if they had heard from her within the last five minutes. I called her work. I gave myself panic attacks doing these things. I locked up every potentially sharp object in my home.
With time, I’ve learned that I can’t fix everything, and my #daughter has the right to decide how she will cope. It took both time and counseling for me to trust my #daughter to care for herself after I discovered she was struggling. I can even remember the feeling of trust returning during a joint counseling session. Ultimately, our relationship and communication improved, especially after I encouraged her to feel empowered to make the best decisions for herself.
My Advice To Caregivers Who Blame Themselves
To any caregivers experiencing a similar internal dialogue, please know that it is ok to go through a process of guilt and doubt. It is ok that you may have told yourself these lies — in fact, it is normal. What I will ask of you is that you don’t get stuck in the lies. Breaking free of blame and guilt will allow you to better care for your loved one.
I also urge you to be #patient with yourself; one self-talk session wasn’t enough for me to overcome an overwhelming internal dialogue. Talk therapy with trained professionals helped me to understand what I was feeling and how to step back and address it. It took multiple sessions and lots of time.
Moving Forward
For a long time, I questioned my closeness with my #daughter and my abilities as a #parent. I thought we were close, but how close could we have been if she didn’t confide in me? Shouldn’t our relationship have protected her from pain?
Now, I can tell myself that we were close, and I was there for her. I took action and helped her get the care she needed. As a result of this caregiving journey, she and I have become even closer. We’ve learned so much about each other and about how to communicate; this new closeness is real, raw and growing.
My hope is that other caregivers can reach this point, with the support of loved ones and #mentalhealthcareprofessionals. I did not get here without caring for myself with the same vigor that I cared for my #daughter. By processing my situation and leaning on a supportive circle, I was able to prioritize my own #mentalhealth and be strong for my #daughter. Caregivers deserve healing, too.
I wish anyone in this position luck in their healing. It can be a lengthy process — but it’s doable and worth it.
Ginger Robertson, an RN of nine years, entered nursing school the year her daughter started kindergarten in order to better her life. Now 17, her daughter is attending to the University of Dakota, majoring in #psychology. Ginger hopes their story will offer hope to other families living with #mentalillness.
Photo by Brett Sayles on Pexels.com
https://standingabovethecrowd.com/?p=8556
Thursday, January 6, 2022
By Katherine Ponte and Izzy Goncalves
I have serious #mentalillness. As a result, #mentalillness has become a part of my partner and caregiver Izzy’s life as well. He and I have both learned a lot in our challenging 18-year journey to recovery. We’d like to share several lessons that have helped us to navigate recovery.
#JamesDonaldson notes:
Welcome to the “next chapter” of my life… being a voice and an advocate for #mentalhealthawarenessandsuicideprevention, especially pertaining to our younger generation of students and student-athletes.
Getting men to speak up and reach out for help and assistance is one of my passions. Us men need to not suffer in silence or drown our sorrows in alcohol, hang out at bars and strip joints, or get involved with drug use.
Having gone through a recent bout of #depression and #suicidalthoughts myself, I realize now, that I can make a huge difference in the lives of so many by sharing my story, and by sharing various resources I come across as I work in this space. #http://bit.ly/JamesMentalHealthArticle
Meet Your Loved One Where They Are
Helping a loved one with #mentalillness often begins by identifying where they are in the five stages of change and advice for what you can do accordingly:
- Precontemplation (not interested in help): Demonstrate empathy and avoid judgment.
- Contemplation (recognizes problem but isn’t ready to change): Recognize that change is hard and consider pros and cons of treatment.
- Preparation (states commitment to change): Try to help your loved one define goals. Goals should be specific, measurable, achievable, reasonable and timely.
- Behavior change (starts to change/become actively involved in treatment): Reinforce your loved one’s positive behavior.
- Maintenance (sustaining change): Offer your continuing support.
It’s important to listen for “change talk” and act on it by providing support, comfort and encouragement at each stage. Patience is also required (although loved one should feel empowered to use their best judgment in times of an emergency). Pressuring someone to move forward in their journey may cause them to resist, which may delay treatment.
Listen In Order To Communicate
Starting the conversation with your loved one can be critical to helping them get the help they need. The caregiver may need to take the first step to start the discussion, and the best way to do so is to demonstrate genuine interest in your loved one’s concerns.
Don’t tell them how you can help — ask if you can help and how. Respect their desire not to talk about the situation. “I need to talk to you” is rarely a good way to start a conversation. When they don’t want to talk, the better approach is to keep gently reminding them that you are there for them if they want to speak.
Highly effective tools for improving communication include:
- Motivational interviewing: This technique seeks to tap into one’s own personal motivation for change, which may include achieving specific life goals.- OARS: This method provides a framework for practicing motivational interviewing. This acronym stands for opened-ended questions, affirmation, reflection and summarizing.
- Active listening: This form of engaging involves listening to what a person says and then reflecting what was said in a way that demonstrates understanding. It also serves as a mirror, nudging a person to see and confront their thoughts, ideas and impressions.
Show Compassion For Past Mistakes
It is important to always convey empathy and compassion when speaking with your loved one. This includes talking about the past. Many people with #mentalillness are aware of some of the inappropriate things they did when ill. In fact, they may often obsess over their regrets and mistakes.
It may be best not to raise these incidents if you see that your loved one is actively trying to improve their #behavior. Mentioning them may make it harder to move forward in their recovery — they can’t change the past. It can be helpful to instead focus on the present moment and future goals.
Encourage Self-Empowerment
#Mentalillness may make a person feel as if they have no say or control over their life. Often, they may allow their caregiver to take control of their treatment because of their difficulty accepting the diagnosis or out of ambivalence. However, self-empowerment is key to recovery.
It’s important to ask open-ended questions to explore what your loved one wants and to help them take ownership of their #mentalillness and treatment. When a caregiver respects and trusts their loved one’s decisions, this can feel liberating and improve the relationship.
Treatment approaches can also be self-empowering. A shared decision-making approach can be very effective. With this approach, a #patient makes clear to their doctor what their priorities are, and together they agree on a treatment plan. An approach designed to help #patients pursue life goals, rather than merely addressing symptoms and side effects, can be extremely motivating.
Practice Positive Reinforcement
Caregivers should strive to recognize and praise all accomplishments. When your loved one it severely depressed, getting up from bed, taking a shower or eating can be extremely difficult for them. Doing any of these is an accomplishment. Don’t mistake a depressed person’s inactivity as laziness.
Recovery is often a series of small accomplishments. Small accomplishments can build into big strides, such as getting a job or getting your own home. Encourage your loved one to dream and pursue goals and help them along the way with practical and realistic advice.
Avoid Helicoptering
Helicoptering is a form of a caregiver’s over-involvement in their loved one’s care. Plainly stated, a person feels under constant surveillance as a caregiver “hovers” around them, constantly on high alert for an episode or other adverse event. To a person with #mentalillness, this over-involvement and anticipation of the worst-case scenario can feel suffocating, disempowering, discouraging and even enraging. Despite a caregiver’s good intentions, helicoptering can lead a person to withdraw and isolate.
A common instance of helicoptering is when a caregiver repeatedly insists on contacting their loved one’s #psychiatrist, leading the #patient to feel like they’re being “snitched on.” This fear may be based on the control a #psychiatrist has on their treatment, such as the ability to make a medication change. A person may also feel that a #psychiatrist will give deference to the caregiver rather than the “sick” #patient. All of this may lead to a significant and harmful erosion of trust between the person and their caregiver — as well as the #patient and their provider.
Many caregivers do not realize the serious consequences of this sort of helicoptering. For example, their loved one with #mentalillness can revoke or put limits on the permission their #psychiatrist has to speak with caregivers in the future.
Access Peer Insights
Peers can support, inform and inspire each other’s recovery journey. In fact, people with #mentalillness are often more comfortable speaking to peers than clinicians. Peers have insights that clinicians without lived experience cannot offer; moreover, peers in recovery can offer invaluable hope to both supports and people living with #mentalillness.
Understanding is critical to a good relationship between a person with #mentalillness and their caregiver. While #mentalillness is very often a family effort, it cannot be overemphasized that a person’s responsibility, ownership and self-empowerment will enhance outcomes. When a person is provided more control over their treatment process, they are more likely to reach recovery. Ultimately, that’s what caregivers and their loved ones should be striving for, together.
Katherine Ponte is happily living in recovery from severe #bipolar I disorder. She’s the Founder of ForLikeMinds’ #mentalillness peer support community, #BipolarThriving: Recovery Coaching, and Psych Ward Greeting Cards. Katherine is also a Faculty Member of the Program for Recovery and Community Health at Yale University and has authored ForLikeMinds: #MentalIllness Recovery Insights. She is on the NAMI-NYC Board.
Izzy Goncalves works in finance and has been the primary caregiver of his spouse, Katherine. He has been instrumental in helping her develop a number of #mentalillness recovery initiatives.
https://standingabovethecrowd.com/?p=8553
I have serious #mentalillness. As a result, #mentalillness has become a part of my partner and caregiver Izzy’s life as well. He and I have both learned a lot in our challenging 18-year journey to recovery. We’d like to share several lessons that have helped us to navigate recovery.
#JamesDonaldson notes:
Welcome to the “next chapter” of my life… being a voice and an advocate for #mentalhealthawarenessandsuicideprevention, especially pertaining to our younger generation of students and student-athletes.
Getting men to speak up and reach out for help and assistance is one of my passions. Us men need to not suffer in silence or drown our sorrows in alcohol, hang out at bars and strip joints, or get involved with drug use.
Having gone through a recent bout of #depression and #suicidalthoughts myself, I realize now, that I can make a huge difference in the lives of so many by sharing my story, and by sharing various resources I come across as I work in this space. #http://bit.ly/JamesMentalHealthArticle
Meet Your Loved One Where They Are
Helping a loved one with #mentalillness often begins by identifying where they are in the five stages of change and advice for what you can do accordingly:
- Precontemplation (not interested in help): Demonstrate empathy and avoid judgment.
- Contemplation (recognizes problem but isn’t ready to change): Recognize that change is hard and consider pros and cons of treatment.
- Preparation (states commitment to change): Try to help your loved one define goals. Goals should be specific, measurable, achievable, reasonable and timely.
- Behavior change (starts to change/become actively involved in treatment): Reinforce your loved one’s positive behavior.
- Maintenance (sustaining change): Offer your continuing support.
It’s important to listen for “change talk” and act on it by providing support, comfort and encouragement at each stage. Patience is also required (although loved one should feel empowered to use their best judgment in times of an emergency). Pressuring someone to move forward in their journey may cause them to resist, which may delay treatment.
Listen In Order To Communicate
Starting the conversation with your loved one can be critical to helping them get the help they need. The caregiver may need to take the first step to start the discussion, and the best way to do so is to demonstrate genuine interest in your loved one’s concerns.
Don’t tell them how you can help — ask if you can help and how. Respect their desire not to talk about the situation. “I need to talk to you” is rarely a good way to start a conversation. When they don’t want to talk, the better approach is to keep gently reminding them that you are there for them if they want to speak.
Highly effective tools for improving communication include:
- Motivational interviewing: This technique seeks to tap into one’s own personal motivation for change, which may include achieving specific life goals.- OARS: This method provides a framework for practicing motivational interviewing. This acronym stands for opened-ended questions, affirmation, reflection and summarizing.
- Active listening: This form of engaging involves listening to what a person says and then reflecting what was said in a way that demonstrates understanding. It also serves as a mirror, nudging a person to see and confront their thoughts, ideas and impressions.
Show Compassion For Past Mistakes
It is important to always convey empathy and compassion when speaking with your loved one. This includes talking about the past. Many people with #mentalillness are aware of some of the inappropriate things they did when ill. In fact, they may often obsess over their regrets and mistakes.
It may be best not to raise these incidents if you see that your loved one is actively trying to improve their #behavior. Mentioning them may make it harder to move forward in their recovery — they can’t change the past. It can be helpful to instead focus on the present moment and future goals.
Encourage Self-Empowerment
#Mentalillness may make a person feel as if they have no say or control over their life. Often, they may allow their caregiver to take control of their treatment because of their difficulty accepting the diagnosis or out of ambivalence. However, self-empowerment is key to recovery.
It’s important to ask open-ended questions to explore what your loved one wants and to help them take ownership of their #mentalillness and treatment. When a caregiver respects and trusts their loved one’s decisions, this can feel liberating and improve the relationship.
Treatment approaches can also be self-empowering. A shared decision-making approach can be very effective. With this approach, a #patient makes clear to their doctor what their priorities are, and together they agree on a treatment plan. An approach designed to help #patients pursue life goals, rather than merely addressing symptoms and side effects, can be extremely motivating.
Practice Positive Reinforcement
Caregivers should strive to recognize and praise all accomplishments. When your loved one it severely depressed, getting up from bed, taking a shower or eating can be extremely difficult for them. Doing any of these is an accomplishment. Don’t mistake a depressed person’s inactivity as laziness.
Recovery is often a series of small accomplishments. Small accomplishments can build into big strides, such as getting a job or getting your own home. Encourage your loved one to dream and pursue goals and help them along the way with practical and realistic advice.
Avoid Helicoptering
Helicoptering is a form of a caregiver’s over-involvement in their loved one’s care. Plainly stated, a person feels under constant surveillance as a caregiver “hovers” around them, constantly on high alert for an episode or other adverse event. To a person with #mentalillness, this over-involvement and anticipation of the worst-case scenario can feel suffocating, disempowering, discouraging and even enraging. Despite a caregiver’s good intentions, helicoptering can lead a person to withdraw and isolate.
A common instance of helicoptering is when a caregiver repeatedly insists on contacting their loved one’s #psychiatrist, leading the #patient to feel like they’re being “snitched on.” This fear may be based on the control a #psychiatrist has on their treatment, such as the ability to make a medication change. A person may also feel that a #psychiatrist will give deference to the caregiver rather than the “sick” #patient. All of this may lead to a significant and harmful erosion of trust between the person and their caregiver — as well as the #patient and their provider.
Many caregivers do not realize the serious consequences of this sort of helicoptering. For example, their loved one with #mentalillness can revoke or put limits on the permission their #psychiatrist has to speak with caregivers in the future.
Access Peer Insights
Peers can support, inform and inspire each other’s recovery journey. In fact, people with #mentalillness are often more comfortable speaking to peers than clinicians. Peers have insights that clinicians without lived experience cannot offer; moreover, peers in recovery can offer invaluable hope to both supports and people living with #mentalillness.
Understanding is critical to a good relationship between a person with #mentalillness and their caregiver. While #mentalillness is very often a family effort, it cannot be overemphasized that a person’s responsibility, ownership and self-empowerment will enhance outcomes. When a person is provided more control over their treatment process, they are more likely to reach recovery. Ultimately, that’s what caregivers and their loved ones should be striving for, together.
Katherine Ponte is happily living in recovery from severe #bipolar I disorder. She’s the Founder of ForLikeMinds’ #mentalillness peer support community, #BipolarThriving: Recovery Coaching, and Psych Ward Greeting Cards. Katherine is also a Faculty Member of the Program for Recovery and Community Health at Yale University and has authored ForLikeMinds: #MentalIllness Recovery Insights. She is on the NAMI-NYC Board.
Izzy Goncalves works in finance and has been the primary caregiver of his spouse, Katherine. He has been instrumental in helping her develop a number of #mentalillness recovery initiatives.
https://standingabovethecrowd.com/?p=8553
By Katherine Ponte and Izzy Goncalves
I have serious #mentalillness. As a result, #mentalillness has become a part of my partner and caregiver Izzy’s life as well. He and I have both learned a lot in our challenging 18-year journey to recovery. We’d like to share several lessons that have helped us to navigate recovery.
#JamesDonaldson notes:
Welcome to the “next chapter” of my life… being a voice and an advocate for #mentalhealthawarenessandsuicideprevention, especially pertaining to our younger generation of students and student-athletes.
Getting men to speak up and reach out for help and assistance is one of my passions. Us men need to not suffer in silence or drown our sorrows in alcohol, hang out at bars and strip joints, or get involved with drug use.
Having gone through a recent bout of #depression and #suicidalthoughts myself, I realize now, that I can make a huge difference in the lives of so many by sharing my story, and by sharing various resources I come across as I work in this space. #http://bit.ly/JamesMentalHealthArticle
Meet Your Loved One Where They Are
Helping a loved one with #mentalillness often begins by identifying where they are in the five stages of change and advice for what you can do accordingly:
- Precontemplation (not interested in help): Demonstrate empathy and avoid judgment.
- Contemplation (recognizes problem but isn’t ready to change): Recognize that change is hard and consider pros and cons of treatment.
- Preparation (states commitment to change): Try to help your loved one define goals. Goals should be specific, measurable, achievable, reasonable and timely.
- Behavior change (starts to change/become actively involved in treatment): Reinforce your loved one’s positive behavior.
- Maintenance (sustaining change): Offer your continuing support.
It’s important to listen for “change talk” and act on it by providing support, comfort and encouragement at each stage. Patience is also required (although loved one should feel empowered to use their best judgment in times of an emergency). Pressuring someone to move forward in their journey may cause them to resist, which may delay treatment.
Listen In Order To Communicate
Starting the conversation with your loved one can be critical to helping them get the help they need. The caregiver may need to take the first step to start the discussion, and the best way to do so is to demonstrate genuine interest in your loved one’s concerns.
Don’t tell them how you can help — ask if you can help and how. Respect their desire not to talk about the situation. “I need to talk to you” is rarely a good way to start a conversation. When they don’t want to talk, the better approach is to keep gently reminding them that you are there for them if they want to speak.
Highly effective tools for improving communication include:
- Motivational interviewing: This technique seeks to tap into one’s own personal motivation for change, which may include achieving specific life goals.- OARS: This method provides a framework for practicing motivational interviewing. This acronym stands for opened-ended questions, affirmation, reflection and summarizing.
- Active listening: This form of engaging involves listening to what a person says and then reflecting what was said in a way that demonstrates understanding. It also serves as a mirror, nudging a person to see and confront their thoughts, ideas and impressions.
Show Compassion For Past Mistakes
It is important to always convey empathy and compassion when speaking with your loved one. This includes talking about the past. Many people with #mentalillness are aware of some of the inappropriate things they did when ill. In fact, they may often obsess over their regrets and mistakes.
It may be best not to raise these incidents if you see that your loved one is actively trying to improve their #behavior. Mentioning them may make it harder to move forward in their recovery — they can’t change the past. It can be helpful to instead focus on the present moment and future goals.
Encourage Self-Empowerment
#Mentalillness may make a person feel as if they have no say or control over their life. Often, they may allow their caregiver to take control of their treatment because of their difficulty accepting the diagnosis or out of ambivalence. However, self-empowerment is key to recovery.
It’s important to ask open-ended questions to explore what your loved one wants and to help them take ownership of their #mentalillness and treatment. When a caregiver respects and trusts their loved one’s decisions, this can feel liberating and improve the relationship.
Treatment approaches can also be self-empowering. A shared decision-making approach can be very effective. With this approach, a #patient makes clear to their doctor what their priorities are, and together they agree on a treatment plan. An approach designed to help #patients pursue life goals, rather than merely addressing symptoms and side effects, can be extremely motivating.
Practice Positive Reinforcement
Caregivers should strive to recognize and praise all accomplishments. When your loved one it severely depressed, getting up from bed, taking a shower or eating can be extremely difficult for them. Doing any of these is an accomplishment. Don’t mistake a depressed person’s inactivity as laziness.
Recovery is often a series of small accomplishments. Small accomplishments can build into big strides, such as getting a job or getting your own home. Encourage your loved one to dream and pursue goals and help them along the way with practical and realistic advice.
Avoid Helicoptering
Helicoptering is a form of a caregiver’s over-involvement in their loved one’s care. Plainly stated, a person feels under constant surveillance as a caregiver “hovers” around them, constantly on high alert for an episode or other adverse event. To a person with #mentalillness, this over-involvement and anticipation of the worst-case scenario can feel suffocating, disempowering, discouraging and even enraging. Despite a caregiver’s good intentions, helicoptering can lead a person to withdraw and isolate.
A common instance of helicoptering is when a caregiver repeatedly insists on contacting their loved one’s #psychiatrist, leading the #patient to feel like they’re being “snitched on.” This fear may be based on the control a #psychiatrist has on their treatment, such as the ability to make a medication change. A person may also feel that a #psychiatrist will give deference to the caregiver rather than the “sick” #patient. All of this may lead to a significant and harmful erosion of trust between the person and their caregiver — as well as the #patient and their provider.
Many caregivers do not realize the serious consequences of this sort of helicoptering. For example, their loved one with #mentalillness can revoke or put limits on the permission their #psychiatrist has to speak with caregivers in the future.
Access Peer Insights
Peers can support, inform and inspire each other’s recovery journey. In fact, people with #mentalillness are often more comfortable speaking to peers than clinicians. Peers have insights that clinicians without lived experience cannot offer; moreover, peers in recovery can offer invaluable hope to both supports and people living with #mentalillness.
Understanding is critical to a good relationship between a person with #mentalillness and their caregiver. While #mentalillness is very often a family effort, it cannot be overemphasized that a person’s responsibility, ownership and self-empowerment will enhance outcomes. When a person is provided more control over their treatment process, they are more likely to reach recovery. Ultimately, that’s what caregivers and their loved ones should be striving for, together.
Katherine Ponte is happily living in recovery from severe #bipolar I disorder. She’s the Founder of ForLikeMinds’ #mentalillness peer support community, #BipolarThriving: Recovery Coaching, and Psych Ward Greeting Cards. Katherine is also a Faculty Member of the Program for Recovery and Community Health at Yale University and has authored ForLikeMinds: #MentalIllness Recovery Insights. She is on the NAMI-NYC Board.
Izzy Goncalves works in finance and has been the primary caregiver of his spouse, Katherine. He has been instrumental in helping her develop a number of #mentalillness recovery initiatives.
https://standingabovethecrowd.com/?p=8553
I have serious #mentalillness. As a result, #mentalillness has become a part of my partner and caregiver Izzy’s life as well. He and I have both learned a lot in our challenging 18-year journey to recovery. We’d like to share several lessons that have helped us to navigate recovery.
#JamesDonaldson notes:
Welcome to the “next chapter” of my life… being a voice and an advocate for #mentalhealthawarenessandsuicideprevention, especially pertaining to our younger generation of students and student-athletes.
Getting men to speak up and reach out for help and assistance is one of my passions. Us men need to not suffer in silence or drown our sorrows in alcohol, hang out at bars and strip joints, or get involved with drug use.
Having gone through a recent bout of #depression and #suicidalthoughts myself, I realize now, that I can make a huge difference in the lives of so many by sharing my story, and by sharing various resources I come across as I work in this space. #http://bit.ly/JamesMentalHealthArticle
Meet Your Loved One Where They Are
Helping a loved one with #mentalillness often begins by identifying where they are in the five stages of change and advice for what you can do accordingly:
- Precontemplation (not interested in help): Demonstrate empathy and avoid judgment.
- Contemplation (recognizes problem but isn’t ready to change): Recognize that change is hard and consider pros and cons of treatment.
- Preparation (states commitment to change): Try to help your loved one define goals. Goals should be specific, measurable, achievable, reasonable and timely.
- Behavior change (starts to change/become actively involved in treatment): Reinforce your loved one’s positive behavior.
- Maintenance (sustaining change): Offer your continuing support.
It’s important to listen for “change talk” and act on it by providing support, comfort and encouragement at each stage. Patience is also required (although loved one should feel empowered to use their best judgment in times of an emergency). Pressuring someone to move forward in their journey may cause them to resist, which may delay treatment.
Listen In Order To Communicate
Starting the conversation with your loved one can be critical to helping them get the help they need. The caregiver may need to take the first step to start the discussion, and the best way to do so is to demonstrate genuine interest in your loved one’s concerns.
Don’t tell them how you can help — ask if you can help and how. Respect their desire not to talk about the situation. “I need to talk to you” is rarely a good way to start a conversation. When they don’t want to talk, the better approach is to keep gently reminding them that you are there for them if they want to speak.
Highly effective tools for improving communication include:
- Motivational interviewing: This technique seeks to tap into one’s own personal motivation for change, which may include achieving specific life goals.- OARS: This method provides a framework for practicing motivational interviewing. This acronym stands for opened-ended questions, affirmation, reflection and summarizing.
- Active listening: This form of engaging involves listening to what a person says and then reflecting what was said in a way that demonstrates understanding. It also serves as a mirror, nudging a person to see and confront their thoughts, ideas and impressions.
Show Compassion For Past Mistakes
It is important to always convey empathy and compassion when speaking with your loved one. This includes talking about the past. Many people with #mentalillness are aware of some of the inappropriate things they did when ill. In fact, they may often obsess over their regrets and mistakes.
It may be best not to raise these incidents if you see that your loved one is actively trying to improve their #behavior. Mentioning them may make it harder to move forward in their recovery — they can’t change the past. It can be helpful to instead focus on the present moment and future goals.
Encourage Self-Empowerment
#Mentalillness may make a person feel as if they have no say or control over their life. Often, they may allow their caregiver to take control of their treatment because of their difficulty accepting the diagnosis or out of ambivalence. However, self-empowerment is key to recovery.
It’s important to ask open-ended questions to explore what your loved one wants and to help them take ownership of their #mentalillness and treatment. When a caregiver respects and trusts their loved one’s decisions, this can feel liberating and improve the relationship.
Treatment approaches can also be self-empowering. A shared decision-making approach can be very effective. With this approach, a #patient makes clear to their doctor what their priorities are, and together they agree on a treatment plan. An approach designed to help #patients pursue life goals, rather than merely addressing symptoms and side effects, can be extremely motivating.
Practice Positive Reinforcement
Caregivers should strive to recognize and praise all accomplishments. When your loved one it severely depressed, getting up from bed, taking a shower or eating can be extremely difficult for them. Doing any of these is an accomplishment. Don’t mistake a depressed person’s inactivity as laziness.
Recovery is often a series of small accomplishments. Small accomplishments can build into big strides, such as getting a job or getting your own home. Encourage your loved one to dream and pursue goals and help them along the way with practical and realistic advice.
Avoid Helicoptering
Helicoptering is a form of a caregiver’s over-involvement in their loved one’s care. Plainly stated, a person feels under constant surveillance as a caregiver “hovers” around them, constantly on high alert for an episode or other adverse event. To a person with #mentalillness, this over-involvement and anticipation of the worst-case scenario can feel suffocating, disempowering, discouraging and even enraging. Despite a caregiver’s good intentions, helicoptering can lead a person to withdraw and isolate.
A common instance of helicoptering is when a caregiver repeatedly insists on contacting their loved one’s #psychiatrist, leading the #patient to feel like they’re being “snitched on.” This fear may be based on the control a #psychiatrist has on their treatment, such as the ability to make a medication change. A person may also feel that a #psychiatrist will give deference to the caregiver rather than the “sick” #patient. All of this may lead to a significant and harmful erosion of trust between the person and their caregiver — as well as the #patient and their provider.
Many caregivers do not realize the serious consequences of this sort of helicoptering. For example, their loved one with #mentalillness can revoke or put limits on the permission their #psychiatrist has to speak with caregivers in the future.
Access Peer Insights
Peers can support, inform and inspire each other’s recovery journey. In fact, people with #mentalillness are often more comfortable speaking to peers than clinicians. Peers have insights that clinicians without lived experience cannot offer; moreover, peers in recovery can offer invaluable hope to both supports and people living with #mentalillness.
Understanding is critical to a good relationship between a person with #mentalillness and their caregiver. While #mentalillness is very often a family effort, it cannot be overemphasized that a person’s responsibility, ownership and self-empowerment will enhance outcomes. When a person is provided more control over their treatment process, they are more likely to reach recovery. Ultimately, that’s what caregivers and their loved ones should be striving for, together.
Katherine Ponte is happily living in recovery from severe #bipolar I disorder. She’s the Founder of ForLikeMinds’ #mentalillness peer support community, #BipolarThriving: Recovery Coaching, and Psych Ward Greeting Cards. Katherine is also a Faculty Member of the Program for Recovery and Community Health at Yale University and has authored ForLikeMinds: #MentalIllness Recovery Insights. She is on the NAMI-NYC Board.
Izzy Goncalves works in finance and has been the primary caregiver of his spouse, Katherine. He has been instrumental in helping her develop a number of #mentalillness recovery initiatives.
https://standingabovethecrowd.com/?p=8553
Wednesday, January 5, 2022
By: Rhitu Chatterjee
Caption
Digital generated image of cut out male head multilayered with #covid-19 cells inside on blue background.
Even before the federal government's recent decision last week to authorize #COVID-19 boosters all #adults, it had already recommended them in October for people with certain high-risk conditions. Along with with illnesses like diabetes and heart disease, that list included #mentalhealthconditions.
The decision to prioritize people with #psychiatric diagnoses in the early rollout of boosters came after a growing number of studies linked #mentalhealthdisorders with higher risk of both #COVID-19 infection and of serious outcomes.
Last year, researchers analyzed data from five hospitals in the Yale New Haven Health System to see how people with a #mentalhealthdiagnosis who were hospitalized with #COVID-19 fared compared to others.
#JamesDonaldson notes:
Welcome to the “next chapter” of my life… being a voice and an advocate for #mentalhealthawarenessandsuicideprevention, especially pertaining to our younger generation of students and student-athletes.
Getting men to speak up and reach out for help and assistance is one of my passions. Us men need to not suffer in silence or drown our sorrows in alcohol, hang out at bars and strip joints, or get involved with drug use.
Having gone through a recent bout of #depression and #suicidalthoughts myself, I realize now, that I can make a huge difference in the lives of so many by sharing my story, and by sharing various resources I come across as I work in this space. #http://bit.ly/JamesMentalHealthArticle
"What we found was we had a higher level of mortality for those that had a prior #psychiatric history," says #psychiatrist Dr. Luming Li, who was working on her Master's degree at Yale University at the time.
The risk of death from #COVID-19 went up by 50% for those with a history of #mentalillness compared to those with no such history, says Li, who is now the Chief Medical Officer at the Harris Center for Mental Health and IDD in Texas.
Another study published last year looked at a nationwide database of electronic health records with information on people who'd tested positive for #COVID-19 and those who were hospitalized.
If an individual had a history of a #mentaldisorder, they were more likely to get infected," says study author Dr. Nora Volkow, director of the National Institute on Drug Abuse. "And if they got infected, then they were more likely to have negative outcomes, such as hospitalization and death."
There are several things going on that explain this, she says.
For one, #mentalillnesses change people's #behaviors which can make them less likely to protect themselves from an infection, with measures like #socialdistancing or wearing masks.
Second, people with #mentalillness tend to have poorer overall health and many chronic health problems, like diabetes, cardiovascular problems, kidney disease.
"It is this very high prevalence of comorbid medical conditions that's likely to actually be putting them at greater risk for negative outcomes ," says Volkow.
It's well known that people with #mentalillness on average live shorter lives and die of health conditions other than their psychiatric diagnosis.
"They suffer prematurely from chronic illnesses, medical neglect," says Dr. Ashwin Vasan, who is president and CEO of Fountain House, a #mentalhealth nonprofit.
They are also among the most isolated in society, he says, and that #isolation takes an immense toll on their bodies putting them at a higher risk of chronic illnesses.
"There have been study after study showing that it leads to inflammation, immunologic #stress, neurodegenerative decline, immunologic impairment, endocrinological impairment," says Vasan. It's equivalent to smoking 15 cigarettes a day, he notes.
And many medications used to treat #mentalillnesses, particularly antipsychotics also increase risk of these chronic health problems, says Volkow.
"This has been one of the main challenges that we have with the use of antipsychotics overall, which help control certain symptoms in #schizophrenia but are negatively associated with a much higher risk of diabetes and hypertension and metabolic diseases," she says.
Certainly the risk isn't the same for all #psychiatric diagnoses. It's higher for people with serious #mentalillness, than say mild #depression. But as Vasan pointed out, #mentalillness is not a static thing.
"People's severity of #mentalillness and impairment can ebb and flow depending on the amount of care and support they're getting," he says. "Whether or not you're in the throes of a crisis or managing your chronic #mentalillness, we know on balance, at a population health epidemiologic level, that you're at greater risk."
There's also a clear overlap between serious #mentalillness and #homelessness and substance abuse, which are also linked to high risk of infection and severe #COVID-19.
"About 40% of our chronically homeless population has serious #mentalillness and addiction," says Vasan.
Most of the 13 million people with serious #mentalillness in the US are on Medicaid, he says, but 40% have no access to care at all.
"This is a systematically marginalized, sicker population that has less access to care and supports," he says.
For all these reasons, Vasan and other #mentalhealth experts were glad to see that #CDC prioritized people with #mentalillness for #COVID-19 vaccination, something they say should have happened long before.
But many people with #mentalillness, especially those with serious #mentalillness (people with significant impairments in their daily functioning) may not be aware of their own risks, or the new recommendations, says Li.
It's important for both #healthcareworkers and family members to also be aware of the risks of serious #COVID-19 faced by people with #mentalhealth diagnoses, and help make sure they are vaccinated, says Li.
"It's going to be a very important first step to make sure that they have their vaccines to start out with and then, second, to be able to get the boosters," she says.
Copyright 2021 NPR. To see more, visit https://www.npr.org.
https://standingabovethecrowd.com/?p=8548
Caption
Digital generated image of cut out male head multilayered with #covid-19 cells inside on blue background.
Even before the federal government's recent decision last week to authorize #COVID-19 boosters all #adults, it had already recommended them in October for people with certain high-risk conditions. Along with with illnesses like diabetes and heart disease, that list included #mentalhealthconditions.
The decision to prioritize people with #psychiatric diagnoses in the early rollout of boosters came after a growing number of studies linked #mentalhealthdisorders with higher risk of both #COVID-19 infection and of serious outcomes.
Last year, researchers analyzed data from five hospitals in the Yale New Haven Health System to see how people with a #mentalhealthdiagnosis who were hospitalized with #COVID-19 fared compared to others.
#JamesDonaldson notes:
Welcome to the “next chapter” of my life… being a voice and an advocate for #mentalhealthawarenessandsuicideprevention, especially pertaining to our younger generation of students and student-athletes.
Getting men to speak up and reach out for help and assistance is one of my passions. Us men need to not suffer in silence or drown our sorrows in alcohol, hang out at bars and strip joints, or get involved with drug use.
Having gone through a recent bout of #depression and #suicidalthoughts myself, I realize now, that I can make a huge difference in the lives of so many by sharing my story, and by sharing various resources I come across as I work in this space. #http://bit.ly/JamesMentalHealthArticle
"What we found was we had a higher level of mortality for those that had a prior #psychiatric history," says #psychiatrist Dr. Luming Li, who was working on her Master's degree at Yale University at the time.
The risk of death from #COVID-19 went up by 50% for those with a history of #mentalillness compared to those with no such history, says Li, who is now the Chief Medical Officer at the Harris Center for Mental Health and IDD in Texas.
Another study published last year looked at a nationwide database of electronic health records with information on people who'd tested positive for #COVID-19 and those who were hospitalized.
If an individual had a history of a #mentaldisorder, they were more likely to get infected," says study author Dr. Nora Volkow, director of the National Institute on Drug Abuse. "And if they got infected, then they were more likely to have negative outcomes, such as hospitalization and death."
There are several things going on that explain this, she says.
For one, #mentalillnesses change people's #behaviors which can make them less likely to protect themselves from an infection, with measures like #socialdistancing or wearing masks.
Second, people with #mentalillness tend to have poorer overall health and many chronic health problems, like diabetes, cardiovascular problems, kidney disease.
"It is this very high prevalence of comorbid medical conditions that's likely to actually be putting them at greater risk for negative outcomes ," says Volkow.
It's well known that people with #mentalillness on average live shorter lives and die of health conditions other than their psychiatric diagnosis.
"They suffer prematurely from chronic illnesses, medical neglect," says Dr. Ashwin Vasan, who is president and CEO of Fountain House, a #mentalhealth nonprofit.
They are also among the most isolated in society, he says, and that #isolation takes an immense toll on their bodies putting them at a higher risk of chronic illnesses.
"There have been study after study showing that it leads to inflammation, immunologic #stress, neurodegenerative decline, immunologic impairment, endocrinological impairment," says Vasan. It's equivalent to smoking 15 cigarettes a day, he notes.
And many medications used to treat #mentalillnesses, particularly antipsychotics also increase risk of these chronic health problems, says Volkow.
"This has been one of the main challenges that we have with the use of antipsychotics overall, which help control certain symptoms in #schizophrenia but are negatively associated with a much higher risk of diabetes and hypertension and metabolic diseases," she says.
Certainly the risk isn't the same for all #psychiatric diagnoses. It's higher for people with serious #mentalillness, than say mild #depression. But as Vasan pointed out, #mentalillness is not a static thing.
"People's severity of #mentalillness and impairment can ebb and flow depending on the amount of care and support they're getting," he says. "Whether or not you're in the throes of a crisis or managing your chronic #mentalillness, we know on balance, at a population health epidemiologic level, that you're at greater risk."
There's also a clear overlap between serious #mentalillness and #homelessness and substance abuse, which are also linked to high risk of infection and severe #COVID-19.
"About 40% of our chronically homeless population has serious #mentalillness and addiction," says Vasan.
Most of the 13 million people with serious #mentalillness in the US are on Medicaid, he says, but 40% have no access to care at all.
"This is a systematically marginalized, sicker population that has less access to care and supports," he says.
For all these reasons, Vasan and other #mentalhealth experts were glad to see that #CDC prioritized people with #mentalillness for #COVID-19 vaccination, something they say should have happened long before.
But many people with #mentalillness, especially those with serious #mentalillness (people with significant impairments in their daily functioning) may not be aware of their own risks, or the new recommendations, says Li.
It's important for both #healthcareworkers and family members to also be aware of the risks of serious #COVID-19 faced by people with #mentalhealth diagnoses, and help make sure they are vaccinated, says Li.
"It's going to be a very important first step to make sure that they have their vaccines to start out with and then, second, to be able to get the boosters," she says.
Copyright 2021 NPR. To see more, visit https://www.npr.org.
https://standingabovethecrowd.com/?p=8548
By: Rhitu Chatterjee
Caption
Digital generated image of cut out male head multilayered with #covid-19 cells inside on blue background.
Even before the federal government's recent decision last week to authorize #COVID-19 boosters all #adults, it had already recommended them in October for people with certain high-risk conditions. Along with with illnesses like diabetes and heart disease, that list included #mentalhealthconditions.
The decision to prioritize people with #psychiatric diagnoses in the early rollout of boosters came after a growing number of studies linked #mentalhealthdisorders with higher risk of both #COVID-19 infection and of serious outcomes.
Last year, researchers analyzed data from five hospitals in the Yale New Haven Health System to see how people with a #mentalhealthdiagnosis who were hospitalized with #COVID-19 fared compared to others.
#JamesDonaldson notes:
Welcome to the “next chapter” of my life… being a voice and an advocate for #mentalhealthawarenessandsuicideprevention, especially pertaining to our younger generation of students and student-athletes.
Getting men to speak up and reach out for help and assistance is one of my passions. Us men need to not suffer in silence or drown our sorrows in alcohol, hang out at bars and strip joints, or get involved with drug use.
Having gone through a recent bout of #depression and #suicidalthoughts myself, I realize now, that I can make a huge difference in the lives of so many by sharing my story, and by sharing various resources I come across as I work in this space. #http://bit.ly/JamesMentalHealthArticle
"What we found was we had a higher level of mortality for those that had a prior #psychiatric history," says #psychiatrist Dr. Luming Li, who was working on her Master's degree at Yale University at the time.
The risk of death from #COVID-19 went up by 50% for those with a history of #mentalillness compared to those with no such history, says Li, who is now the Chief Medical Officer at the Harris Center for Mental Health and IDD in Texas.
Another study published last year looked at a nationwide database of electronic health records with information on people who'd tested positive for #COVID-19 and those who were hospitalized.
If an individual had a history of a #mentaldisorder, they were more likely to get infected," says study author Dr. Nora Volkow, director of the National Institute on Drug Abuse. "And if they got infected, then they were more likely to have negative outcomes, such as hospitalization and death."
There are several things going on that explain this, she says.
For one, #mentalillnesses change people's #behaviors which can make them less likely to protect themselves from an infection, with measures like #socialdistancing or wearing masks.
Second, people with #mentalillness tend to have poorer overall health and many chronic health problems, like diabetes, cardiovascular problems, kidney disease.
"It is this very high prevalence of comorbid medical conditions that's likely to actually be putting them at greater risk for negative outcomes ," says Volkow.
It's well known that people with #mentalillness on average live shorter lives and die of health conditions other than their psychiatric diagnosis.
"They suffer prematurely from chronic illnesses, medical neglect," says Dr. Ashwin Vasan, who is president and CEO of Fountain House, a #mentalhealth nonprofit.
They are also among the most isolated in society, he says, and that #isolation takes an immense toll on their bodies putting them at a higher risk of chronic illnesses.
"There have been study after study showing that it leads to inflammation, immunologic #stress, neurodegenerative decline, immunologic impairment, endocrinological impairment," says Vasan. It's equivalent to smoking 15 cigarettes a day, he notes.
And many medications used to treat #mentalillnesses, particularly antipsychotics also increase risk of these chronic health problems, says Volkow.
"This has been one of the main challenges that we have with the use of antipsychotics overall, which help control certain symptoms in #schizophrenia but are negatively associated with a much higher risk of diabetes and hypertension and metabolic diseases," she says.
Certainly the risk isn't the same for all #psychiatric diagnoses. It's higher for people with serious #mentalillness, than say mild #depression. But as Vasan pointed out, #mentalillness is not a static thing.
"People's severity of #mentalillness and impairment can ebb and flow depending on the amount of care and support they're getting," he says. "Whether or not you're in the throes of a crisis or managing your chronic #mentalillness, we know on balance, at a population health epidemiologic level, that you're at greater risk."
There's also a clear overlap between serious #mentalillness and #homelessness and substance abuse, which are also linked to high risk of infection and severe #COVID-19.
"About 40% of our chronically homeless population has serious #mentalillness and addiction," says Vasan.
Most of the 13 million people with serious #mentalillness in the US are on Medicaid, he says, but 40% have no access to care at all.
"This is a systematically marginalized, sicker population that has less access to care and supports," he says.
For all these reasons, Vasan and other #mentalhealth experts were glad to see that #CDC prioritized people with #mentalillness for #COVID-19 vaccination, something they say should have happened long before.
But many people with #mentalillness, especially those with serious #mentalillness (people with significant impairments in their daily functioning) may not be aware of their own risks, or the new recommendations, says Li.
It's important for both #healthcareworkers and family members to also be aware of the risks of serious #COVID-19 faced by people with #mentalhealth diagnoses, and help make sure they are vaccinated, says Li.
"It's going to be a very important first step to make sure that they have their vaccines to start out with and then, second, to be able to get the boosters," she says.
Copyright 2021 NPR. To see more, visit https://www.npr.org.
https://standingabovethecrowd.com/?p=8548
Caption
Digital generated image of cut out male head multilayered with #covid-19 cells inside on blue background.
Even before the federal government's recent decision last week to authorize #COVID-19 boosters all #adults, it had already recommended them in October for people with certain high-risk conditions. Along with with illnesses like diabetes and heart disease, that list included #mentalhealthconditions.
The decision to prioritize people with #psychiatric diagnoses in the early rollout of boosters came after a growing number of studies linked #mentalhealthdisorders with higher risk of both #COVID-19 infection and of serious outcomes.
Last year, researchers analyzed data from five hospitals in the Yale New Haven Health System to see how people with a #mentalhealthdiagnosis who were hospitalized with #COVID-19 fared compared to others.
#JamesDonaldson notes:
Welcome to the “next chapter” of my life… being a voice and an advocate for #mentalhealthawarenessandsuicideprevention, especially pertaining to our younger generation of students and student-athletes.
Getting men to speak up and reach out for help and assistance is one of my passions. Us men need to not suffer in silence or drown our sorrows in alcohol, hang out at bars and strip joints, or get involved with drug use.
Having gone through a recent bout of #depression and #suicidalthoughts myself, I realize now, that I can make a huge difference in the lives of so many by sharing my story, and by sharing various resources I come across as I work in this space. #http://bit.ly/JamesMentalHealthArticle
"What we found was we had a higher level of mortality for those that had a prior #psychiatric history," says #psychiatrist Dr. Luming Li, who was working on her Master's degree at Yale University at the time.
The risk of death from #COVID-19 went up by 50% for those with a history of #mentalillness compared to those with no such history, says Li, who is now the Chief Medical Officer at the Harris Center for Mental Health and IDD in Texas.
Another study published last year looked at a nationwide database of electronic health records with information on people who'd tested positive for #COVID-19 and those who were hospitalized.
If an individual had a history of a #mentaldisorder, they were more likely to get infected," says study author Dr. Nora Volkow, director of the National Institute on Drug Abuse. "And if they got infected, then they were more likely to have negative outcomes, such as hospitalization and death."
There are several things going on that explain this, she says.
For one, #mentalillnesses change people's #behaviors which can make them less likely to protect themselves from an infection, with measures like #socialdistancing or wearing masks.
Second, people with #mentalillness tend to have poorer overall health and many chronic health problems, like diabetes, cardiovascular problems, kidney disease.
"It is this very high prevalence of comorbid medical conditions that's likely to actually be putting them at greater risk for negative outcomes ," says Volkow.
It's well known that people with #mentalillness on average live shorter lives and die of health conditions other than their psychiatric diagnosis.
"They suffer prematurely from chronic illnesses, medical neglect," says Dr. Ashwin Vasan, who is president and CEO of Fountain House, a #mentalhealth nonprofit.
They are also among the most isolated in society, he says, and that #isolation takes an immense toll on their bodies putting them at a higher risk of chronic illnesses.
"There have been study after study showing that it leads to inflammation, immunologic #stress, neurodegenerative decline, immunologic impairment, endocrinological impairment," says Vasan. It's equivalent to smoking 15 cigarettes a day, he notes.
And many medications used to treat #mentalillnesses, particularly antipsychotics also increase risk of these chronic health problems, says Volkow.
"This has been one of the main challenges that we have with the use of antipsychotics overall, which help control certain symptoms in #schizophrenia but are negatively associated with a much higher risk of diabetes and hypertension and metabolic diseases," she says.
Certainly the risk isn't the same for all #psychiatric diagnoses. It's higher for people with serious #mentalillness, than say mild #depression. But as Vasan pointed out, #mentalillness is not a static thing.
"People's severity of #mentalillness and impairment can ebb and flow depending on the amount of care and support they're getting," he says. "Whether or not you're in the throes of a crisis or managing your chronic #mentalillness, we know on balance, at a population health epidemiologic level, that you're at greater risk."
There's also a clear overlap between serious #mentalillness and #homelessness and substance abuse, which are also linked to high risk of infection and severe #COVID-19.
"About 40% of our chronically homeless population has serious #mentalillness and addiction," says Vasan.
Most of the 13 million people with serious #mentalillness in the US are on Medicaid, he says, but 40% have no access to care at all.
"This is a systematically marginalized, sicker population that has less access to care and supports," he says.
For all these reasons, Vasan and other #mentalhealth experts were glad to see that #CDC prioritized people with #mentalillness for #COVID-19 vaccination, something they say should have happened long before.
But many people with #mentalillness, especially those with serious #mentalillness (people with significant impairments in their daily functioning) may not be aware of their own risks, or the new recommendations, says Li.
It's important for both #healthcareworkers and family members to also be aware of the risks of serious #COVID-19 faced by people with #mentalhealth diagnoses, and help make sure they are vaccinated, says Li.
"It's going to be a very important first step to make sure that they have their vaccines to start out with and then, second, to be able to get the boosters," she says.
Copyright 2021 NPR. To see more, visit https://www.npr.org.
https://standingabovethecrowd.com/?p=8548
Monday, January 3, 2022
Data from the U.S. #CentersforDiseaseControlandPrevention shows that the “proportion of emergency department visits related to #mentalhealthcrises has increased dramatically for young #children and #adolescents since the #pandemic started,” according to Education Week. Metro Creative
By Kylee Mullikin
ANDERSON — The American Academy of Pediatrics, among other organizations, now considers children’s mentalhealth a national emergency.
On top of daily challenges #children face, the #COVID-19 #pandemic also contributed to children’s #mentalhealthissues.
“Young people have endured so much throughout this #pandemic and while much of the attention is often placed on its physical health consequences, we cannot overlook the escalating #mentalhealthcrisis facing our #patients,” AAP President Lee Savio Beers said in an October AAP article. “Today’s declaration is an urgent call to policymakers at all levels of government — we must treat this #mentalhealthcrisis like the emergency it is.”
Before the #pandemic, rates of #mentalhealth diagnosis as well as #suicide rates among young people had been steadily increasing. In 2018, #suicide was the No. 1 cause of death for people 10-24.
#JamesDonaldson notes:
Welcome to the “next chapter” of my life… being a voice and an advocate for #mentalhealthawarenessandsuicideprevention, especially pertaining to our younger generation of students and student-athletes.
Getting men to speak up and reach out for help and assistance is one of my passions. Us men need to not suffer in silence or drown our sorrows in alcohol, hang out at bars and strip joints, or get involved with drug use.
Having gone through a recent bout of #depression and #suicidalthoughts myself, I realize now, that I can make a huge difference in the lives of so many by sharing my story, and by sharing various resources I come across as I work in this space. #http://bit.ly/JamesMentalHealthArticle
The #CentersforDiseaseControlandPrevention found that from March to October 2020, #mentalhealth emergency visits increased by 24% in kids 5-11 and 31% in youngsters 12-17.
Declaring children’s #mentalhealth a national emergency allows for more attention to be brought to this issue.
“We have the opportunity to get information out to #parents to help them to be aware of what may be happening with their #children and when it’s time to seek help,” said Jennie Voelker, a licensed clinical social worker and clinical director of Youth Services with Community Health Network.
One way to help children’s #mentalhealth is by letting them express themselves. This not only includes talking to someone about their feelings but letting them play, make art, write or anything else that they enjoy doing.
Voelker also wants #parents and guardians to remember that they are the role model for their #children.
“If #adults are taking care of themselves when they’re struggling with #stress and emotional health, then their #children will see that,” Voelker said. “They will learn from that, and they will model after that.”
In #children, changes in mood or #behavior can be helpful indicators. Increased or decreased expression of emotions can be an indicator a #child is struggling. Another indicator is if a #child suddenly loses interest in things normally enjoyed.
Voelker also mentioned that the use of #alcohol or #drugs can sometimes be a sign that a child is struggling mentally.
“I really do believe that #parents are the experts on their #children, so if your gut tells you something’s not right, that’s the time to be checking in,” Voelker said.
If any #child or teenage talks about #suicide, it is critical that they be taken seriously.
“That is a time to really seek help, and there are options out there. There are lots of 24-hour call lines (and) text lines that we can get help from.”
The #NationalSuicidePreventionLifeline is a 24-hour call line that can be reached at 800-273-8255. One can also text IN to 741741, a 24-hour text help line.
Follow Kylee Mullikin on Twitter @kyleemullikinhb or call 765-640-4250.
Photo by samer daboul on Pexels.com
https://standingabovethecrowd.com/?p=8546
By Kylee Mullikin
ANDERSON — The American Academy of Pediatrics, among other organizations, now considers children’s mentalhealth a national emergency.
On top of daily challenges #children face, the #COVID-19 #pandemic also contributed to children’s #mentalhealthissues.
“Young people have endured so much throughout this #pandemic and while much of the attention is often placed on its physical health consequences, we cannot overlook the escalating #mentalhealthcrisis facing our #patients,” AAP President Lee Savio Beers said in an October AAP article. “Today’s declaration is an urgent call to policymakers at all levels of government — we must treat this #mentalhealthcrisis like the emergency it is.”
Before the #pandemic, rates of #mentalhealth diagnosis as well as #suicide rates among young people had been steadily increasing. In 2018, #suicide was the No. 1 cause of death for people 10-24.
#JamesDonaldson notes:
Welcome to the “next chapter” of my life… being a voice and an advocate for #mentalhealthawarenessandsuicideprevention, especially pertaining to our younger generation of students and student-athletes.
Getting men to speak up and reach out for help and assistance is one of my passions. Us men need to not suffer in silence or drown our sorrows in alcohol, hang out at bars and strip joints, or get involved with drug use.
Having gone through a recent bout of #depression and #suicidalthoughts myself, I realize now, that I can make a huge difference in the lives of so many by sharing my story, and by sharing various resources I come across as I work in this space. #http://bit.ly/JamesMentalHealthArticle
The #CentersforDiseaseControlandPrevention found that from March to October 2020, #mentalhealth emergency visits increased by 24% in kids 5-11 and 31% in youngsters 12-17.
Declaring children’s #mentalhealth a national emergency allows for more attention to be brought to this issue.
“We have the opportunity to get information out to #parents to help them to be aware of what may be happening with their #children and when it’s time to seek help,” said Jennie Voelker, a licensed clinical social worker and clinical director of Youth Services with Community Health Network.
One way to help children’s #mentalhealth is by letting them express themselves. This not only includes talking to someone about their feelings but letting them play, make art, write or anything else that they enjoy doing.
Voelker also wants #parents and guardians to remember that they are the role model for their #children.
“If #adults are taking care of themselves when they’re struggling with #stress and emotional health, then their #children will see that,” Voelker said. “They will learn from that, and they will model after that.”
In #children, changes in mood or #behavior can be helpful indicators. Increased or decreased expression of emotions can be an indicator a #child is struggling. Another indicator is if a #child suddenly loses interest in things normally enjoyed.
Voelker also mentioned that the use of #alcohol or #drugs can sometimes be a sign that a child is struggling mentally.
“I really do believe that #parents are the experts on their #children, so if your gut tells you something’s not right, that’s the time to be checking in,” Voelker said.
If any #child or teenage talks about #suicide, it is critical that they be taken seriously.
“That is a time to really seek help, and there are options out there. There are lots of 24-hour call lines (and) text lines that we can get help from.”
The #NationalSuicidePreventionLifeline is a 24-hour call line that can be reached at 800-273-8255. One can also text IN to 741741, a 24-hour text help line.
Follow Kylee Mullikin on Twitter @kyleemullikinhb or call 765-640-4250.
Photo by samer daboul on Pexels.com
https://standingabovethecrowd.com/?p=8546
Data from the U.S. #CentersforDiseaseControlandPrevention shows that the “proportion of emergency department visits related to #mentalhealthcrises has increased dramatically for young #children and #adolescents since the #pandemic started,” according to Education Week. Metro Creative
By Kylee Mullikin
ANDERSON — The American Academy of Pediatrics, among other organizations, now considers children’s mentalhealth a national emergency.
On top of daily challenges #children face, the #COVID-19 #pandemic also contributed to children’s #mentalhealthissues.
“Young people have endured so much throughout this #pandemic and while much of the attention is often placed on its physical health consequences, we cannot overlook the escalating #mentalhealthcrisis facing our #patients,” AAP President Lee Savio Beers said in an October AAP article. “Today’s declaration is an urgent call to policymakers at all levels of government — we must treat this #mentalhealthcrisis like the emergency it is.”
Before the #pandemic, rates of #mentalhealth diagnosis as well as #suicide rates among young people had been steadily increasing. In 2018, #suicide was the No. 1 cause of death for people 10-24.
#JamesDonaldson notes:
Welcome to the “next chapter” of my life… being a voice and an advocate for #mentalhealthawarenessandsuicideprevention, especially pertaining to our younger generation of students and student-athletes.
Getting men to speak up and reach out for help and assistance is one of my passions. Us men need to not suffer in silence or drown our sorrows in alcohol, hang out at bars and strip joints, or get involved with drug use.
Having gone through a recent bout of #depression and #suicidalthoughts myself, I realize now, that I can make a huge difference in the lives of so many by sharing my story, and by sharing various resources I come across as I work in this space. #http://bit.ly/JamesMentalHealthArticle
The #CentersforDiseaseControlandPrevention found that from March to October 2020, #mentalhealth emergency visits increased by 24% in kids 5-11 and 31% in youngsters 12-17.
Declaring children’s #mentalhealth a national emergency allows for more attention to be brought to this issue.
“We have the opportunity to get information out to #parents to help them to be aware of what may be happening with their #children and when it’s time to seek help,” said Jennie Voelker, a licensed clinical social worker and clinical director of Youth Services with Community Health Network.
One way to help children’s #mentalhealth is by letting them express themselves. This not only includes talking to someone about their feelings but letting them play, make art, write or anything else that they enjoy doing.
Voelker also wants #parents and guardians to remember that they are the role model for their #children.
“If #adults are taking care of themselves when they’re struggling with #stress and emotional health, then their #children will see that,” Voelker said. “They will learn from that, and they will model after that.”
In #children, changes in mood or #behavior can be helpful indicators. Increased or decreased expression of emotions can be an indicator a #child is struggling. Another indicator is if a #child suddenly loses interest in things normally enjoyed.
Voelker also mentioned that the use of #alcohol or #drugs can sometimes be a sign that a child is struggling mentally.
“I really do believe that #parents are the experts on their #children, so if your gut tells you something’s not right, that’s the time to be checking in,” Voelker said.
If any #child or teenage talks about #suicide, it is critical that they be taken seriously.
“That is a time to really seek help, and there are options out there. There are lots of 24-hour call lines (and) text lines that we can get help from.”
The #NationalSuicidePreventionLifeline is a 24-hour call line that can be reached at 800-273-8255. One can also text IN to 741741, a 24-hour text help line.
Follow Kylee Mullikin on Twitter @kyleemullikinhb or call 765-640-4250.
Photo by samer daboul on Pexels.com
https://standingabovethecrowd.com/?p=8546
By Kylee Mullikin
ANDERSON — The American Academy of Pediatrics, among other organizations, now considers children’s mentalhealth a national emergency.
On top of daily challenges #children face, the #COVID-19 #pandemic also contributed to children’s #mentalhealthissues.
“Young people have endured so much throughout this #pandemic and while much of the attention is often placed on its physical health consequences, we cannot overlook the escalating #mentalhealthcrisis facing our #patients,” AAP President Lee Savio Beers said in an October AAP article. “Today’s declaration is an urgent call to policymakers at all levels of government — we must treat this #mentalhealthcrisis like the emergency it is.”
Before the #pandemic, rates of #mentalhealth diagnosis as well as #suicide rates among young people had been steadily increasing. In 2018, #suicide was the No. 1 cause of death for people 10-24.
#JamesDonaldson notes:
Welcome to the “next chapter” of my life… being a voice and an advocate for #mentalhealthawarenessandsuicideprevention, especially pertaining to our younger generation of students and student-athletes.
Getting men to speak up and reach out for help and assistance is one of my passions. Us men need to not suffer in silence or drown our sorrows in alcohol, hang out at bars and strip joints, or get involved with drug use.
Having gone through a recent bout of #depression and #suicidalthoughts myself, I realize now, that I can make a huge difference in the lives of so many by sharing my story, and by sharing various resources I come across as I work in this space. #http://bit.ly/JamesMentalHealthArticle
The #CentersforDiseaseControlandPrevention found that from March to October 2020, #mentalhealth emergency visits increased by 24% in kids 5-11 and 31% in youngsters 12-17.
Declaring children’s #mentalhealth a national emergency allows for more attention to be brought to this issue.
“We have the opportunity to get information out to #parents to help them to be aware of what may be happening with their #children and when it’s time to seek help,” said Jennie Voelker, a licensed clinical social worker and clinical director of Youth Services with Community Health Network.
One way to help children’s #mentalhealth is by letting them express themselves. This not only includes talking to someone about their feelings but letting them play, make art, write or anything else that they enjoy doing.
Voelker also wants #parents and guardians to remember that they are the role model for their #children.
“If #adults are taking care of themselves when they’re struggling with #stress and emotional health, then their #children will see that,” Voelker said. “They will learn from that, and they will model after that.”
In #children, changes in mood or #behavior can be helpful indicators. Increased or decreased expression of emotions can be an indicator a #child is struggling. Another indicator is if a #child suddenly loses interest in things normally enjoyed.
Voelker also mentioned that the use of #alcohol or #drugs can sometimes be a sign that a child is struggling mentally.
“I really do believe that #parents are the experts on their #children, so if your gut tells you something’s not right, that’s the time to be checking in,” Voelker said.
If any #child or teenage talks about #suicide, it is critical that they be taken seriously.
“That is a time to really seek help, and there are options out there. There are lots of 24-hour call lines (and) text lines that we can get help from.”
The #NationalSuicidePreventionLifeline is a 24-hour call line that can be reached at 800-273-8255. One can also text IN to 741741, a 24-hour text help line.
Follow Kylee Mullikin on Twitter @kyleemullikinhb or call 765-640-4250.
Photo by samer daboul on Pexels.com
https://standingabovethecrowd.com/?p=8546
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