Monday, October 30, 2023

James Donaldson on Mental Health - Tips for Good Mental Health
Photo by Mental Health America (MHA) on Pexels.com

Mental health is an essential aspect of overall well-being and plays a significant role in our daily lives. Taking care of our mental health helps us maintain a positive outlook, cope with stress, and build stronger relationships. If you're looking to improve your mental health, here are some valuable tips to keep in mind:

1. Prioritize Self-Care: Make self-care a priority in your daily routine. Dedicate time to activities you enjoy and that help you relax, such as reading a book, taking a bath, going for a walk, or practicing mindfulness and meditation. Taking care of yourself allows you to recharge and refocus your mind.

2. Maintain a Balanced Diet: The food we consume has a direct impact on our mental well-being. Aim to eat a balanced diet that includes fruits, vegetables, whole grains, lean proteins, and healthy fats. Avoid excessive intake of processed foods, sugary snacks, and caffeine, as they can negatively affect your mood and energy levels.

3. Get Adequate Sleep: Sleep plays a vital role in our mental and physical health. Establish a regular sleep routine by going to bed and waking up at the same time each day. Ensure your sleep environment is comfortable and free from distractions. Aim for seven to eight hours of quality sleep every night to promote better mental well-being.

4. Stay Active: Regular physical activity is not only beneficial for our physical health but also for our mental well-being. Engaging in exercises, such as walking, jogging, dancing, or yoga, releases endorphins, which help boost mood and reduce stress. Find activities you enjoy and aim for at least 30 minutes of moderate exercise most days of the week.

5. Build Strong Relationships: Positive relationships provide support and help improve mental health. Connect with friends, family, and loved ones regularly. Engage in meaningful conversations, spend quality time together, and seek their support when needed. Surround yourself with people who uplift and inspire you.

6. Manage Stress: Stress is a common part of life, but finding healthy ways to manage it is crucial for mental well-being. Practice stress-management techniques such as deep breathing, journaling, engaging in hobbies, or seeking professional help when necessary. Learn to identify stress triggers and develop coping mechanisms that work best for you.

7. Limit Screen Time: Excessive use of screens, such as smartphones, computers, and televisions, can impact our mental health. Set boundaries and limit your screen time to maintain a healthy balance. Dedicate time to activities that do not involve screens, such as reading, spending time outdoors, or engaging in hobbies.

8. Seek Support: Do not hesitate to seek professional help if you're struggling with your mental health. Mental health professionals can provide valuable guidance, therapy, and resources to help you navigate challenges and improve your well-being. Remember, seeking help is a sign of strength, not weakness.

By incorporating these tips into your daily life, you can take proactive steps towards achieving and maintaining good mental health. Remember, everyone's journey is unique, so find what works best for you and make your mental health a top priority.

#James Donaldson notes:Welcome to the “next chapter” of my life… being a voice and an advocate for #mentalhealthawarenessandsuicideprevention, especially pertaining to our younger generation of students and student-athletes.Getting men to speak up and reach out for help and assistance is one of my passions. Us men need to not suffer in silence or drown our sorrows in alcohol, hang out at bars and strip joints, or get involved with drug use.Having gone through a recent bout of #depression and #suicidalthoughts myself, I realize now, that I can make a huge difference in the lives of so many by sharing my story, and by sharing various resources I come across as I work in this space.  #http://bit.ly/JamesMentalHealthArticleFind out more about the work I do on my 501c3 non-profit foundationwebsite www.yourgiftoflife.org Order your copy of James Donaldson's latest book,#CelebratingYourGiftofLife: From The Verge of Suicide to a Life of Purpose and Joy

Link for 40 Habits Signupbit.ly/40HabitsofMentalHealth

www.celebratingyourgiftoflife.com

Tags: mental health, self-care, balanced diet, sleep, physical activity, relationships, stress management, screen time, seek support

Photo by Mental Health America (MHA) on Pexels.com
https://standingabovethecrowd.com/james-donaldson-on-mental-health-tips-for-good-mental-health/

James Donaldson on Mental Health - The Monday Morning Blues: How to Start Your Week on a Positive Note

James Donaldson on Mental Health - The Monday Morning Blues: How to Start Your Week on a Positive Note


Monday mornings. The phrase alone can often evoke a sigh, an eye roll, or even a groan. The start of a new workweek can bring about a sense of dread or frustration for many people. It's that feeling of leaving the comfort of the weekend behind and diving headfirst into the responsibilities and demands awaiting us.



#James Donaldson notes:
Welcome to the “next chapter” of my life… being a voice and an advocate for #mentalhealthawarenessandsuicideprevention, especially pertaining to our younger generation of students and student-athletes.
Getting men to speak up and reach out for help and assistance is one of my passions. Us men need to not suffer in silence or drown our sorrows in alcohol, hang out at bars and strip joints, or get involved with drug use.
Having gone through a recent bout of #depression and #suicidalthoughts myself, I realize now, that I can make a huge difference in the lives of so many by sharing my story, and by sharing various resources I come across as I work in this space.
  #http://bit.ly/JamesMentalHealthArticle
Find out more about the work I do on my 501c3 non-profit foundation
website www.yourgiftoflife.org Order your copy of James Donaldson's latest book,
#CelebratingYourGiftofLife: From The Verge of Suicide to a Life of Purpose and Joy



Link for 40 Habits Signup
bit.ly/40HabitsofMentalHealth



Book

www.celebratingyourgiftoflife.com

But what if we could change our perspective and approach Mondays with a sense of optimism and motivation? By making small adjustments to our routine and mindset, we can transform the Monday morning blues into a positive and productive start to the week.



One of the most impactful ways to conquer Monday blues is by planning ahead. Take a few minutes on Sunday evening to organize your schedule for the upcoming week. This will give you a clear roadmap and goals to work towards, reducing the feeling of being overwhelmed and allowing you to prioritize your tasks effectively.



Another powerful technique is to cultivate a positive mindset. Start the day by reminding yourself of the reasons why you love your job. Reflect on the progress you have made and the accomplishments you have achieved. By focusing on the positive aspects of your work, you can shift your mindset and generate enthusiasm, making Monday mornings much more enjoyable.



Additionally, incorporating self-care practices into your morning routine can significantly impact your mood. Dedicate some time to engage in activities that make you happy and energized, such as exercise, meditation, or listening to uplifting music. Taking care of yourself physically and emotionally will help you face any challenges the week may bring.



Creating a pleasant and inviting workspace is also essential to beat the Monday morning blues. Make an effort to organize your desk, add personal touches like plants or inspiring quotes, and declutter any unnecessary items. A clean and personalized environment can boost your mood and inspire creativity, making your workday more enjoyable.



Lastly, connecting with colleagues and finding moments of joy throughout the day can vastly improve your Monday experience. Engage in meaningful conversations, share a laugh, or plan a team activity. Building positive relationships and creating a supportive work environment can make Monday mornings something to look forward to.



Tags: Monday blues, productivity, mindset, self-care, workplace environment




https://standingabovethecrowd.com/james-donaldson-on-mental-health-the-monday-morning-blues-how-to-start-your-week-on-a-positive-note/

Sunday, October 29, 2023

James Donaldson on Mental Health - Tips for Good Mental Health

James Donaldson on Mental Health - Tips for Good Mental Health
Photo by Mental Health America (MHA) on Pexels.com

Mental health is an essential aspect of overall well-being and plays a significant role in our daily lives. Taking care of our mental health helps us maintain a positive outlook, cope with stress, and build stronger relationships. If you're looking to improve your mental health, here are some valuable tips to keep in mind:



1. Prioritize Self-Care: Make self-care a priority in your daily routine. Dedicate time to activities you enjoy and that help you relax, such as reading a book, taking a bath, going for a walk, or practicing mindfulness and meditation. Taking care of yourself allows you to recharge and refocus your mind.



2. Maintain a Balanced Diet: The food we consume has a direct impact on our mental well-being. Aim to eat a balanced diet that includes fruits, vegetables, whole grains, lean proteins, and healthy fats. Avoid excessive intake of processed foods, sugary snacks, and caffeine, as they can negatively affect your mood and energy levels.



3. Get Adequate Sleep: Sleep plays a vital role in our mental and physical health. Establish a regular sleep routine by going to bed and waking up at the same time each day. Ensure your sleep environment is comfortable and free from distractions. Aim for seven to eight hours of quality sleep every night to promote better mental well-being.



4. Stay Active: Regular physical activity is not only beneficial for our physical health but also for our mental well-being. Engaging in exercises, such as walking, jogging, dancing, or yoga, releases endorphins, which help boost mood and reduce stress. Find activities you enjoy and aim for at least 30 minutes of moderate exercise most days of the week.



5. Build Strong Relationships: Positive relationships provide support and help improve mental health. Connect with friends, family, and loved ones regularly. Engage in meaningful conversations, spend quality time together, and seek their support when needed. Surround yourself with people who uplift and inspire you.



6. Manage Stress: Stress is a common part of life, but finding healthy ways to manage it is crucial for mental well-being. Practice stress-management techniques such as deep breathing, journaling, engaging in hobbies, or seeking professional help when necessary. Learn to identify stress triggers and develop coping mechanisms that work best for you.



7. Limit Screen Time: Excessive use of screens, such as smartphones, computers, and televisions, can impact our mental health. Set boundaries and limit your screen time to maintain a healthy balance. Dedicate time to activities that do not involve screens, such as reading, spending time outdoors, or engaging in hobbies.



8. Seek Support: Do not hesitate to seek professional help if you're struggling with your mental health. Mental health professionals can provide valuable guidance, therapy, and resources to help you navigate challenges and improve your well-being. Remember, seeking help is a sign of strength, not weakness.



By incorporating these tips into your daily life, you can take proactive steps towards achieving and maintaining good mental health. Remember, everyone's journey is unique, so find what works best for you and make your mental health a top priority.



#James Donaldson notes:
Welcome to the “next chapter” of my life… being a voice and an advocate for #mentalhealthawarenessandsuicideprevention, especially pertaining to our younger generation of students and student-athletes.
Getting men to speak up and reach out for help and assistance is one of my passions. Us men need to not suffer in silence or drown our sorrows in alcohol, hang out at bars and strip joints, or get involved with drug use.
Having gone through a recent bout of #depression and #suicidalthoughts myself, I realize now, that I can make a huge difference in the lives of so many by sharing my story, and by sharing various resources I come across as I work in this space.
  #http://bit.ly/JamesMentalHealthArticle
Find out more about the work I do on my 501c3 non-profit foundation
website www.yourgiftoflife.org Order your copy of James Donaldson's latest book,
#CelebratingYourGiftofLife: From The Verge of Suicide to a Life of Purpose and Joy



Link for 40 Habits Signup
bit.ly/40HabitsofMentalHealth



Book

www.celebratingyourgiftoflife.com

Tags: mental health, self-care, balanced diet, sleep, physical activity, relationships, stress management, screen time, seek support



Photo by Mental Health America (MHA) on Pexels.com
https://standingabovethecrowd.com/james-donaldson-on-mental-health-tips-for-good-mental-health/
James Donaldson on Mental Health - Why Self-Care Is Essential to Parenting
Caring for children with intense needs can take an emotional (and physical) toll on parents

Writer: Juliann Garey

Clinical Expert: Matthew H. Rouse, PhD

What You'll Learn

- What are the symptoms of caregiver burnout?

- What can parents do to take care of themselves?

- What is “respite care” and how can parents find out more about it?

- Quick Read

- Full Article

- Accepting limits to what you can do

- Isolation and exhaustion

- It takes a village, but you need to ask

- Getting out and about

- Nurturing the marriage

Parents who are the main caregivers for kids with special needs can be at risk for burnout, especially if they don’t have enough support themselves. Symptoms of burnout include anxiety, depression, feeling tired and feeling cut off from other people.

Caring for a child with a developmental or mental health disorder can put a big strain on your marriage or relationship. There can be also be physical risks from the constant stress of taking care of a special needs child. Physical risks from constant stress include things like heart disease, diabetes and cancer.

To avoid burnout, it’s important for parents to take care of their own needs. That includes getting enough sleep and exercise, drinking enough water and spending time away from your child. Parents sometimes feel like they have to do everything by themselves, but getting help from other people is crucial. Support groups, spending time with friends and even just making time for fun activities on your own can all help.

If you don’t have family you can rely on or money to hire babysitters, something called “respite care” can help. Respite care provides temporary help so you can take a break from constant caregiving.

This is where an organization called Access to Respite Care and Help (ARCH) comes in. Their website is: https://archrespite.org/ The ARCH website helps parents find respite care near them and ways to pay for it. It also has a guide for parents called ABCs of Respite: A Consumer’s Guide for Family Caregivers.

Parenting can be stressful under the best of circumstances, but moms and dads of children with developmental and mental health challenges often have to deal with strain of a different magnitude. Caring for a child with special needs can become a full-time job — and an overwhelming one at that, if you don’t have adequate support. Without enough help, parents may be headed toward caregiver burnout, which negatively affects everyone.

The consequences of chronic stress related to raising kids who have intense needs are real. Studies show that parents of children with developmental, psychiatric or learning disorders are far more likely than others to experience:

- Anxiety

- Depression

- Insomnia

- Fatigue

- Marital problems

According to one British study, chronic stress puts these parents at risk for medical issues as well. This study found that parents of children with either autism or ADHD had significantly higher levels of both cortisol, the stress hormone, and CRP, a biomarker linked to everything from colorectal cancer to diabetes to heart disease.

The risks, both emotional and physical, to caregivers of challenging children are important to address, for the children’s sake as well as the parents’. Below, we look at common contributors to caregiver stress and offer some suggestions to help parents stay healthy, balanced and committed to their kids.

Accepting limits to what you can do

Experts agree that part of avoiding or lessening burnout is to challenge the idea that you are the only one who can help and there is no limit to what you need to do.

Wendy Blumenthal, PhD, an Atlanta-based psychologist, says she sees mothers who reach a breaking point because they are driven to shoulder all the responsibility for their high-needs child. “These supermoms — they’re not sleeping, they’re constantly anxious, calling every doctor they can think of.”

“These parents feel like they should be able to do it all and the first thing to go is basic self-care,” says Elaine Taylor Klaus, the cofounder of Impact ADHD, which offers training for parents of kids with ADHD and other disorders. “There are long-term risks of caring for these kids,” she says. “And one of them is that parents burn out.” Taylor Klaus urges parents to take seriously their own basic self-care including:

- Getting enough sleep every night

- Staying hydrated

- Getting regular exercise

- Spending time away from children

Isolation and exhaustion

When you have a child whose behavior is difficult or whose needs are challenging, feeling cut off from support and empathy can contribute to the stress. Colleagues, neighbors, friends, family — even your spouse can seem to be on another planet. “People cannot understand what you’re going through,” says Patricia Kandel, who has raised two children with serious mental illness. “There’s so much alienation.”

By the time her family decided their youngest daughter needed to go into a group home, Kandel says, “I was barely functioning.” She, her husband and her 20-year-old daughter were all diagnosed with PTSD “from all the years of living the way we did,” and her marriage had become unrecognizable. “It’s not a typical marriage. It’s survival.”

Outside assistance was nowhere to be found. “You can’t get a babysitter,” Kandel continues. “Our own family wouldn’t even help us. We never had any money. I had to be here 24 hours a day.”

High-stress and time-intensive situations like this one are also where respite care could play a role, says Jill Kagan, director of Access to Respite Care and Help (ARCH). “Respite care is temporary relief for the parent or the primary caregiver of the child so they can take a break from the responsibilities of their continuous caregiving,” she explains.

Many parents aren’t aware of the existence of respite care, she says. “They’re so focused on getting services for their child that they may not even stop to think that there are services out there for them as well. It seems out of the realm of possibility.” But it isn’t. ARCH’s website includes an introduction to respite care and ways for parents to locate respite care by state as well as a list of funding sources. (ABCs of Respite: A Consumer’s Guide for Family Caregivers)

It takes a village, but you need to ask

Another obstacle to getting help is that you may be afraid to ask. But in truth, people who genuinely want to help may not know how.

Parents need to be fairly direct. “Could you watch the kids on Wednesday so that I can get a haircut?” “If I give you a list, could you pick up the groceries?” These specific requests make it easier for family and friends to pitch in while not feeling out of their depth.

“People are often willing to help you in small ways,” says Dr. Blumenthal. “Like watching your non-challenged child so you can take your special-needs child to therapy.” Proposing babysitting exchanges with another parent (or even network of parents) of another special needs child is another way to get some time away, and some needed perspective.

Getting out and about

Many parents of kids with psychiatric and developmental challenges find that they lose touch with friends and activities outside the home. “Fifty percent of my sessions are just parent sessions” to help navigate that reality, says Matthew Rouse, PhD, a clinical psychologist.

Taking care of your emotional and social health is just as important as practicing more routine self-care. Several experts, including Dr. Rouse, emphasized the importance of reclaiming an adult-only social life. Dr. Rouse asks questions like:

- What are you doing for yourselves?

- What are you as a couple doing to support each other?

- When’s the last time you had a date night?

- When did you last spend time with friends?

To mitigate feelings of isolation, Dr. Rouse recommends:

- Finding a support network outside the immediate family. There are online and in-person support groups for just about every diagnosis out there.

- Spending time with friends who have no connection to your child. “Support groups are great,” Rouse says “but that’s still doing something for your child.”

- Planning social activities that put you among people who care about you.

- Time for activities that are purely pleasurable — reading, running, painting.

“The way I’ve framed it with parents who are resistant to this,” Dr. Rouse says, “is to tell them, ‘It’s like you’re depositing money into a bank and building up cash reserves. To have more to give your child, you have to build up those reserves.’”

#James Donaldson notes:Welcome to the “next chapter” of my life… being a voice and an advocate for #mentalhealthawarenessandsuicideprevention, especially pertaining to our younger generation of students and student-athletes.Getting men to speak up and reach out for help and assistance is one of my passions. Us men need to not suffer in silence or drown our sorrows in alcohol, hang out at bars and strip joints, or get involved with drug use.Having gone through a recent bout of #depression and #suicidalthoughts myself, I realize now, that I can make a huge difference in the lives of so many by sharing my story, and by sharing various resources I come across as I work in this space.  #http://bit.ly/JamesMentalHealthArticleFind out more about the work I do on my 501c3 non-profit foundationwebsite www.yourgiftoflife.org Order your copy of James Donaldson's latest book,#CelebratingYourGiftofLife: From The Verge of Suicide to a Life of Purpose and Joy

Link for 40 Habits Signupbit.ly/40HabitsofMentalHealth

www.celebratingyourgiftoflife.com

Nurturing the marriage

Throughout, parents need to pay close attention to perhaps the most vulnerable relationship of all — the one between spouses. Experts suggest that parents make it a point of maintaining their relationship with small steps they can continue, and that they make it a point of letting the marriage exist outside of roles as caregivers.

“I encourage parents to take little breaks such as when their child is in a therapy session or in school,” says Cindy Ariel, PhD, a Philadelphia-based psychologist who specializes in working with families of special-needs children. Other small steps you can take might include an in-home break or “date.” Even if you don’t have help, there are still ways of finding time to devote to your relationship so that you and your partner don’t end up feeling like you’re merely tag teaming as caregivers.

Maintaining a healthy marriage and effective caregiving team is made much harder when parents disagree about treatment strategies and approaches. Andrea Weissman’s son Ethan, now 12, has learning, attention and social challenges. She and her husband often disagree on what is considered “normal” behavior.

“He thinks a lot of stuff is more normative than I do and tells me I’m ‘catastrophizing,’” she says. “We certainly don’t parent in a consistent manner — which is not good for Ethan.” Or for her — she feels she drinks too much as a result.

This is a common situation, according to Dr. Blumenthal. “There are information seekers and information deniers,” she says, “people who want to dismiss the diagnosis or write off their child’s symptoms as normal.” When one parent is a “seeker” and the other a “denier”— which she says is often, especially when a child is first being diagnosed — the conflict can put an enormous strain on the relationship.

“If you have differences around the child’s treatment, try to see things from the other person’s perspective,” Dr. Rouse suggests. “That will help you to reconnect.” And that’s easier if you’ve laid the groundwork with even something as simple as a “nightly check-in” that can help you and your partner stay close.

“Just making time before bed to tell each other about the highlight and lowlight of the day” is beneficial, he says. “So it’s focused more on the person’s emotional experience during these events, and less like a planning or logistics meeting. It can build intimacy and empathy just through sharing and listening.”
https://standingabovethecrowd.com/james-donaldson-on-mental-health-why-self-care-is-essential-to-parenting/

Saturday, October 28, 2023

James Donaldson on Mental Health - Why Self-Care Is Essential to Parenting

James Donaldson on Mental Health - Why Self-Care Is Essential to Parenting

Caring for children with intense needs can take an emotional (and physical) toll on parents





Writer: Juliann Garey



Clinical Expert: Matthew H. Rouse, PhD



What You'll Learn



- What are the symptoms of caregiver burnout?

- What can parents do to take care of themselves?

- What is “respite care” and how can parents find out more about it?

- Quick Read

- Full Article

- Accepting limits to what you can do

- Isolation and exhaustion

- It takes a village, but you need to ask

- Getting out and about

- Nurturing the marriage

Parents who are the main caregivers for kids with special needs can be at risk for burnout, especially if they don’t have enough support themselves. Symptoms of burnout include anxiety, depression, feeling tired and feeling cut off from other people.



Caring for a child with a developmental or mental health disorder can put a big strain on your marriage or relationship. There can be also be physical risks from the constant stress of taking care of a special needs child. Physical risks from constant stress include things like heart disease, diabetes and cancer.



To avoid burnout, it’s important for parents to take care of their own needs. That includes getting enough sleep and exercise, drinking enough water and spending time away from your child. Parents sometimes feel like they have to do everything by themselves, but getting help from other people is crucial. Support groups, spending time with friends and even just making time for fun activities on your own can all help.



If you don’t have family you can rely on or money to hire babysitters, something called “respite care” can help. Respite care provides temporary help so you can take a break from constant caregiving.



This is where an organization called Access to Respite Care and Help (ARCH) comes in. Their website is: https://archrespite.org/ The ARCH website helps parents find respite care near them and ways to pay for it. It also has a guide for parents called ABCs of Respite: A Consumer’s Guide for Family Caregivers.



Parenting can be stressful under the best of circumstances, but moms and dads of children with developmental and mental health challenges often have to deal with strain of a different magnitude. Caring for a child with special needs can become a full-time job — and an overwhelming one at that, if you don’t have adequate support. Without enough help, parents may be headed toward caregiver burnout, which negatively affects everyone.



The consequences of chronic stress related to raising kids who have intense needs are real. Studies show that parents of children with developmentalpsychiatric or learning disorders are far more likely than others to experience:



- Anxiety

- Depression

- Insomnia

- Fatigue

- Marital problems

According to one British study, chronic stress puts these parents at risk for medical issues as well. This study found that parents of children with either autism or ADHD had significantly higher levels of both cortisol, the stress hormone, and CRP, a biomarker linked to everything from colorectal cancer to diabetes to heart disease.



The risks, both emotional and physical, to caregivers of challenging children are important to address, for the children’s sake as well as the parents’. Below, we look at common contributors to caregiver stress and offer some suggestions to help parents stay healthy, balanced and committed to their kids.



Accepting limits to what you can do



Experts agree that part of avoiding or lessening burnout is to challenge the idea that you are the only one who can help and there is no limit to what you need to do.



Wendy Blumenthal, PhD, an Atlanta-based psychologist, says she sees mothers who reach a breaking point because they are driven to shoulder all the responsibility for their high-needs child. “These supermoms — they’re not sleeping, they’re constantly anxious, calling every doctor they can think of.”



“These parents feel like they should be able to do it all and the first thing to go is basic self-care,” says Elaine Taylor Klaus, the cofounder of Impact ADHD, which offers training for parents of kids with ADHD and other disorders. “There are long-term risks of caring for these kids,” she says. “And one of them is that parents burn out.” Taylor Klaus urges parents to take seriously their own basic self-care including:



- Getting enough sleep every night

- Staying hydrated

- Getting regular exercise

- Spending time away from children

Isolation and exhaustion



When you have a child whose behavior is difficult or whose needs are challenging, feeling cut off from support and empathy can contribute to the stress. Colleagues, neighbors, friends, family — even your spouse can seem to be on another planet. “People cannot understand what you’re going through,” says Patricia Kandel, who has raised two children with serious mental illness. “There’s so much alienation.”



By the time her family decided their youngest daughter needed to go into a group home, Kandel says, “I was barely functioning.” She, her husband and her 20-year-old daughter were all diagnosed with PTSD “from all the years of living the way we did,” and her marriage had become unrecognizable. “It’s not a typical marriage. It’s survival.”



Outside assistance was nowhere to be found. “You can’t get a babysitter,” Kandel continues. “Our own family wouldn’t even help us. We never had any money. I had to be here 24 hours a day.”



High-stress and time-intensive situations like this one are also where respite care could play a role, says Jill Kagan, director of Access to Respite Care and Help (ARCH). “Respite care is temporary relief for the parent or the primary caregiver of the child so they can take a break from the responsibilities of their continuous caregiving,” she explains.



Many parents aren’t aware of the existence of respite care, she says. “They’re so focused on getting services for their child that they may not even stop to think that there are services out there for them as well. It seems out of the realm of possibility.” But it isn’t. ARCH’s website includes an introduction to respite care and ways for parents to locate respite care by state as well as a list of funding sources. (ABCs of Respite: A Consumer’s Guide for Family Caregivers)



It takes a village, but you need to ask



Another obstacle to getting help is that you may be afraid to ask. But in truth, people who genuinely want to help may not know how.



Parents need to be fairly direct. “Could you watch the kids on Wednesday so that I can get a haircut?” “If I give you a list, could you pick up the groceries?” These specific requests make it easier for family and friends to pitch in while not feeling out of their depth.



“People are often willing to help you in small ways,” says Dr. Blumenthal. “Like watching your non-challenged child so you can take your special-needs child to therapy.” Proposing babysitting exchanges with another parent (or even network of parents) of another special needs child is another way to get some time away, and some needed perspective.



Getting out and about



Many parents of kids with psychiatric and developmental challenges find that they lose touch with friends and activities outside the home. “Fifty percent of my sessions are just parent sessions” to help navigate that reality, says Matthew Rouse, PhD, a clinical psychologist.



Taking care of your emotional and social health is just as important as practicing more routine self-care. Several experts, including Dr. Rouse, emphasized the importance of reclaiming an adult-only social life. Dr. Rouse asks questions like:



- What are you doing for yourselves?

- What are you as a couple doing to support each other?

- When’s the last time you had a date night?

- When did you last spend time with friends?

To mitigate feelings of isolation, Dr. Rouse recommends:



- Finding a support network outside the immediate family. There are online and in-person support groups for just about every diagnosis out there.

- Spending time with friends who have no connection to your child. “Support groups are great,” Rouse says “but that’s still doing something for your child.”

- Planning social activities that put you among people who care about you.

- Time for activities that are purely pleasurable — reading, running, painting.

“The way I’ve framed it with parents who are resistant to this,” Dr. Rouse says, “is to tell them, ‘It’s like you’re depositing money into a bank and building up cash reserves. To have more to give your child, you have to build up those reserves.’”



#James Donaldson notes:
Welcome to the “next chapter” of my life… being a voice and an advocate for #mentalhealthawarenessandsuicideprevention, especially pertaining to our younger generation of students and student-athletes.
Getting men to speak up and reach out for help and assistance is one of my passions. Us men need to not suffer in silence or drown our sorrows in alcohol, hang out at bars and strip joints, or get involved with drug use.
Having gone through a recent bout of #depression and #suicidalthoughts myself, I realize now, that I can make a huge difference in the lives of so many by sharing my story, and by sharing various resources I come across as I work in this space.
  #http://bit.ly/JamesMentalHealthArticle
Find out more about the work I do on my 501c3 non-profit foundation
website www.yourgiftoflife.org Order your copy of James Donaldson's latest book,
#CelebratingYourGiftofLife: From The Verge of Suicide to a Life of Purpose and Joy



Link for 40 Habits Signup
bit.ly/40HabitsofMentalHealth



Book

www.celebratingyourgiftoflife.com

Nurturing the marriage



Throughout, parents need to pay close attention to perhaps the most vulnerable relationship of all — the one between spouses. Experts suggest that parents make it a point of maintaining their relationship with small steps they can continue, and that they make it a point of letting the marriage exist outside of roles as caregivers.



“I encourage parents to take little breaks such as when their child is in a therapy session or in school,” says Cindy Ariel, PhD, a Philadelphia-based psychologist who specializes in working with families of special-needs children. Other small steps you can take might include an in-home break or “date.” Even if you don’t have help, there are still ways of finding time to devote to your relationship so that you and your partner don’t end up feeling like you’re merely tag teaming as caregivers.



Maintaining a healthy marriage and effective caregiving team is made much harder when parents disagree about treatment strategies and approaches. Andrea Weissman’s son Ethan, now 12, has learning, attention and social challenges. She and her husband often disagree on what is considered “normal” behavior.



“He thinks a lot of stuff is more normative than I do and tells me I’m ‘catastrophizing,’” she says. “We certainly don’t parent in a consistent manner — which is not good for Ethan.” Or for her — she feels she drinks too much as a result.



This is a common situation, according to Dr. Blumenthal. “There are information seekers and information deniers,” she says, “people who want to dismiss the diagnosis or write off their child’s symptoms as normal.” When one parent is a “seeker” and the other a “denier”— which she says is often, especially when a child is first being diagnosed — the conflict can put an enormous strain on the relationship.



“If you have differences around the child’s treatment, try to see things from the other person’s perspective,” Dr. Rouse suggests. “That will help you to reconnect.” And that’s easier if you’ve laid the groundwork with even something as simple as a “nightly check-in” that can help you and your partner stay close.



“Just making time before bed to tell each other about the highlight and lowlight of the day” is beneficial, he says. “So it’s focused more on the person’s emotional experience during these events, and less like a planning or logistics meeting. It can build intimacy and empathy just through sharing and listening.”




https://standingabovethecrowd.com/james-donaldson-on-mental-health-why-self-care-is-essential-to-parenting/

Friday, October 27, 2023

James Donaldson on Mental Health - The Impact of Mass Shootings on Mental Health
Mass shootings have become a distressingly common occurrence in our society, leaving behind devastating impacts on not just the physical well-being of survivors and victims' families, but also on the mental health of the broader population. These acts of violence can have long-lasting and far-reaching effects, causing fear, anxiety, and trauma that can be difficult to overcome.

One of the most significant impacts of mass shootings is the rise in mental health issues, both for those directly involved and for people who witness the events through media coverage. Survivors of mass shootings often experience post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), depression, anxiety disorders, and survivor guilt. They may struggle with flashbacks, nightmares, and a constant sense of dread or hypervigilance. The psychological trauma can be so severe that it disrupts their daily lives and relationships, leading to a decrease in overall well-being.

In addition to survivors, mass shootings can have a profound effect on the mental health of the general public. Constant exposure to reports and graphic images of mass shootings through the media heightens feelings of fear, helplessness, and vulnerability. This can lead to increased levels of anxiety and depression, as well as a loss of trust in others and society as a whole. Individuals may start to avoid public places out of fear of being a target or become hyper-aware of potential threats in their surroundings.

Furthermore, mass shootings can have a significant impact on the mental health of people who have lost loved ones in these tragic events. The grief experienced by these individuals can be overwhelming, leading to complicated grief, depression, and a sense of isolation. They may struggle with feelings of anger, guilt, and a sense of injustice, which can further exacerbate their mental health issues.

#James Donaldson notes:Welcome to the “next chapter” of my life… being a voice and an advocate for #mentalhealthawarenessandsuicideprevention, especially pertaining to our younger generation of students and student-athletes.Getting men to speak up and reach out for help and assistance is one of my passions. Us men need to not suffer in silence or drown our sorrows in alcohol, hang out at bars and strip joints, or get involved with drug use.Having gone through a recent bout of #depression and #suicidalthoughts myself, I realize now, that I can make a huge difference in the lives of so many by sharing my story, and by sharing various resources I come across as I work in this space.  #http://bit.ly/JamesMentalHealthArticleFind out more about the work I do on my 501c3 non-profit foundationwebsite www.yourgiftoflife.org Order your copy of James Donaldson's latest book,#CelebratingYourGiftofLife: From The Verge of Suicide to a Life of Purpose and Joy

Link for 40 Habits Signupbit.ly/40HabitsofMentalHealth

www.celebratingyourgiftoflife.com

It is important to recognize the societal impact of mass shootings on mental health and take steps to address these issues. Providing immediate and appropriate mental health support for survivors and the affected communities is crucial. This includes counseling, therapy, and resources for coping with trauma. Additionally, community-wide efforts aimed at reducing the stigma surrounding mental health and promoting resilience can go a long way in supporting individuals in their healing process.

Prevention is another key aspect in addressing the mental health impacts of mass shootings. By implementing stricter gun control regulations and improving access to mental health services, we can create an environment that is less prone to these horrific acts of violence. Additionally, increasing public awareness and education about mental health can help identify and support individuals who may be at risk of committing violence, as well as those who may be struggling with their own mental health.

In conclusion, mass shootings have a profound impact on mental health, affecting not only the survivors but also the general public and those who have lost loved ones. It is imperative that we address the psychological consequences of these acts of violence through immediate support for affected individuals and communities, as well as through prevention efforts aimed at reducing the occurrence of mass shootings. Together, we can work towards creating a society that prioritizes mental well-being and safety for all.
https://standingabovethecrowd.com/james-donaldson-on-mental-health-the-impact-of-mass-shootings-on-mental-health/

James Donaldson on Mental Health - The Impact of Mass Shootings on Mental Health

James Donaldson on Mental Health - The Impact of Mass Shootings on Mental Health


Mass shootings have become a distressingly common occurrence in our society, leaving behind devastating impacts on not just the physical well-being of survivors and victims' families, but also on the mental health of the broader population. These acts of violence can have long-lasting and far-reaching effects, causing fear, anxiety, and trauma that can be difficult to overcome.



One of the most significant impacts of mass shootings is the rise in mental health issues, both for those directly involved and for people who witness the events through media coverage. Survivors of mass shootings often experience post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), depression, anxiety disorders, and survivor guilt. They may struggle with flashbacks, nightmares, and a constant sense of dread or hypervigilance. The psychological trauma can be so severe that it disrupts their daily lives and relationships, leading to a decrease in overall well-being.



In addition to survivors, mass shootings can have a profound effect on the mental health of the general public. Constant exposure to reports and graphic images of mass shootings through the media heightens feelings of fear, helplessness, and vulnerability. This can lead to increased levels of anxiety and depression, as well as a loss of trust in others and society as a whole. Individuals may start to avoid public places out of fear of being a target or become hyper-aware of potential threats in their surroundings.



Furthermore, mass shootings can have a significant impact on the mental health of people who have lost loved ones in these tragic events. The grief experienced by these individuals can be overwhelming, leading to complicated grief, depression, and a sense of isolation. They may struggle with feelings of anger, guilt, and a sense of injustice, which can further exacerbate their mental health issues.



#James Donaldson notes:
Welcome to the “next chapter” of my life… being a voice and an advocate for #mentalhealthawarenessandsuicideprevention, especially pertaining to our younger generation of students and student-athletes.
Getting men to speak up and reach out for help and assistance is one of my passions. Us men need to not suffer in silence or drown our sorrows in alcohol, hang out at bars and strip joints, or get involved with drug use.
Having gone through a recent bout of #depression and #suicidalthoughts myself, I realize now, that I can make a huge difference in the lives of so many by sharing my story, and by sharing various resources I come across as I work in this space.
  #http://bit.ly/JamesMentalHealthArticle
Find out more about the work I do on my 501c3 non-profit foundation
website www.yourgiftoflife.org Order your copy of James Donaldson's latest book,
#CelebratingYourGiftofLife: From The Verge of Suicide to a Life of Purpose and Joy



Link for 40 Habits Signup
bit.ly/40HabitsofMentalHealth



Book

www.celebratingyourgiftoflife.com

It is important to recognize the societal impact of mass shootings on mental health and take steps to address these issues. Providing immediate and appropriate mental health support for survivors and the affected communities is crucial. This includes counseling, therapy, and resources for coping with trauma. Additionally, community-wide efforts aimed at reducing the stigma surrounding mental health and promoting resilience can go a long way in supporting individuals in their healing process.



Prevention is another key aspect in addressing the mental health impacts of mass shootings. By implementing stricter gun control regulations and improving access to mental health services, we can create an environment that is less prone to these horrific acts of violence. Additionally, increasing public awareness and education about mental health can help identify and support individuals who may be at risk of committing violence, as well as those who may be struggling with their own mental health.



In conclusion, mass shootings have a profound impact on mental health, affecting not only the survivors but also the general public and those who have lost loved ones. It is imperative that we address the psychological consequences of these acts of violence through immediate support for affected individuals and communities, as well as through prevention efforts aimed at reducing the occurrence of mass shootings. Together, we can work towards creating a society that prioritizes mental well-being and safety for all.






https://standingabovethecrowd.com/james-donaldson-on-mental-health-the-impact-of-mass-shootings-on-mental-health/

Thursday, October 26, 2023

James Donaldson on Mental Health - Parenting Through Depression
How to take care of yourself and your family

Writer: Tonya Russell

Clinical Expert: Cara L. Macari, LCSW

What You'll Learn

- How can parents’ depression affect kids?

- What are some ways to talk to kids about your depression?

- How can parents who are dealing with depression get support and treatment?

- Quick Read

- Full Article

- What is it like to parent with depression? 

- How a parent’s depression can impact children 

- Discussing your depression with your children

- Getting treatment and seeking support

Feeling sad, lacking energy and struggling to enjoy time with your kids can make parenting feel overwhelming. Some parents begin experiencing depression around the birth of a child, but some develop it later or find that parenting intensifies existing mental health challenges. And it’s not just moms — parents of any gender can experience depression. If you’re a parent dealing with depression, you’re not alone, and treatment can help.

All parents have hard days sometimes, but depression is more than ordinary stress. It can make you feel hopeless and disconnected from your children. You might have trouble finding energy to do things with your kids, which can lead to guilt and low self-esteem. Then, those feelings make it even harder to feel motivated.

Depression doesn’t mean that you’re a bad parent. Talking to kids about your depression in a clear, age-appropriate way can help them understand what’s going on and avoid blaming themselves. For little kids, you can share that you have a condition that affects your mind and feelings and makes you tired. For older kids, you can name the disorder and explain in more detail how it affects you. It also helps kids to know what you’re doing to cope: “I have hard days, but my doctor is helping me find ways to make things easier.”

If you have depression, getting treatment is one of the best ways to protect your children’s mental health. Therapy and medication can both make a big difference, and support groups can help too. It’s also important to make sure you have other adults backing you up and looking out for your kids’ needs. For instance, you might have a couple of friends and family members on call to step in when you’re not feeling up to daily tasks.

Depression comes with an increased risk of thinking about and attempting suicide, so be sure to reach out for help if you’re having thoughts of suicide. The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline (1-800-273-8255) offers free, 24/7 support across the United States.

Most parents wonder at one time or another whether or not they’re doing a good enough job. But for parents dealing with depression, these thoughts can feel overwhelming. Because depression affects self-esteem and makes it hard to stay engaged with daily life, parenting with depression might make showing up for your kids feel impossible.

If you’re a parent dealing with depression, you’re not alone. The latest research shows that 8.4 percent of adults in the U.S. –– or 21 million people –– have had at least one major depressive episode.  And some research indicates that the risk of developing depression may be higher for parents of children with intellectual and developmental disabilities. Here’s how to tell if you might be experiencing depression, and how to care for your kids (and yourself!) if you are. Depression is treatable, and with support, parents experiencing it can thrive.

What is it like to parent with depression? 

There are different degrees of depression, and it can look different from person to person. Some parents experience depression around the birth of a child, while others might develop it much later. Still others may have been dealing with depression throughout their lives and find that parenting intensifies or changes the experience of coping with it. And depression can affect parents of any gender. You can learn more here about common kinds of depression and their symptoms.

Cara Macari, LCSW, a clinical social worker at the Child Mind Institute explains that depression often affects a parent’s motivation. “With depression come strong urges to sort of hunker down and isolate oneself,” she says. “That makes it difficult to engage in activities, and could even make it difficult to engage with kids.” 

This was the case for Jazmine Cruz, 34, of New Jersey. The mother of two and elementary school teacher has battled depression since her grandfather’s death when she was in middle school. Both of her births came around the same time as the deaths of close family members, which caused a spiral each time.  “You’re supposed to be overjoyed for your first child, but I didn’t have that,” recalls Cruz. “Everything that should have been joyful about motherhood was impacted by depression.” Cruz struggled to pull herself out of that feeling, sometimes to the point of her children’s milestones not seeming significant. She’d grown accustomed to feeling unmotivated and down, but once she had kids, those symptoms became even more distressing.

Macari adds that some parents with depression may find spending time with their children to be less enjoyable, and they may develop a monotone or flat affect. “This can make you appear or feel less warm to your kids and others around you.” And the effects of depression on parenting can also impact the parent’s self-esteem. “When you’re feeling a spiral, you might skip going to the park, for example,” says Macari. “What comes along with that is, ‘I let my kids down, I’m a failure, I’m a terrible parent.’ And after having that thought, you have more sadness, and more depression. And when you have more sadness, and more depression, you continue to have decreased motivation.”

It’s important to remember that depression goes beyond ordinary parenting stress. All parents have rough days, and it’s normal to feel overwhelmed sometimes. The difference is that depression symptoms persist on good days, too, though they may be exacerbated by stressful ones. For example, dreading a busy day from time to time is a normal part of parenting. But frequently feeling so down that you can’t get out of bed is a sign of depression. 

How a parent’s depression can impact children 

Macari notes that parenting with depression can make it difficult to help kids deal with their own big emotions. “If you have a very young child who’s having a lot of tantrums or behavior problems,” she explains, “it’s harder for a parent to regulate their own emotions and help the child regulate theirs.” Without stable emotional role models, young children might have a harder time learning appropriate reactions to upsetting or frustrating situations.

For older kids, a parent’s depression can lead to a sense of responsibility that goes beyond what’s appropriate for their age. Macari notes that they may step into a parentified role, taking on decision-making and household duties when their parents are down.

For instance, if a depressed parent struggles with things like hygiene and housekeeping, or even caring for younger siblings, the child in the parent role may not have the support they need and miss out on age-appropriate activities like spending time on schoolwork and with friends.

Despite the challenges, it’s not a given that parental depression will impact kids negatively, especially when the parent gets treatment. There are strategies and supports you can use to make parenting with depression more manageable and make sure your kids’ needs are met.

Discussing your depression with your children

When a parent is struggling, it’s often helpful for a child to have an age-appropriate explanation.

Even young children can tell when a grown up is dealing with depression, even if they don’t understand it or have the words to describe it. Cruz describes her daughter’s experience: “Once she got to six or seven, she’d begin to notice my energy shift. She’d realize something was wrong because I’d gravitate towards my room.” 

New York City-based therapist Jor-El Caraballo, LMHC, points out, “It’s critical to remember that children are incredibly perceptive, and talking comfortably is essential.” He recommends having age-appropriate conversations. “The conversations should largely depend on the kid and developmental level. For instance, it might be appropriate for younger children to just share that the parent isn’t feeling well and has a condition that affects their mind and makes them more tired than they might look.” It’s also important to emphasize that the parent’s feelings aren’t the child’s fault, since young children in particular tend to blame themselves for problems around them.

For Cruz, part of dealing with depression is being honest with her daughter about what she is experiencing. They have mental health check-ins twice a week, and her daughter participates, expressing her own concerns when she has them. They both try to be as descriptive as possible. When Cruz’s son is old enough to understand and articulate his feelings, she intends to bring him into the conversations as well.

For older children, Caraballo recommends naming depression and identifying specific symptoms. You can also tell kids a little about how you’re taking care of yourself and getting support — for example, “I have hard days, but my doctor is helping me find ways to make things easier.”

Clinical psychologist Gillian Woldorf, PhD, uses this direct approach for her 13-year-old. Their conversations include calling Dr. Woldorf’s condition by name and describing how she’s treated it through therapy and medication. “I think it’s as important for my kid to know about the family history of depression and anxiety as it is for her to know about the family history of allergies and asthma,” she says. “I want her to know what to be alert to in her teen years and beyond, so that if she does start to experience anything similar, she won’t feel as blindsided and alone as I did.”

Dr. Woldorf’s approach includes honest conversations about topics ranging from suicidal ideation to self-harm, and she encourages her daughter to let her know if she or any of her friends are struggling with their mental health. She’s found in her practice treating children and teenagers that kids can handle tough conversations, and that parents who are hesitant to have these conversations may be battling their own sense of stigma. “Today’s kids and teens are growing up in a society that’s much more open about mental health issues than the society of the ‘80s and ‘90s,” she says. 

#James Donaldson notes:Welcome to the “next chapter” of my life… being a voice and an advocate for #mentalhealthawarenessandsuicideprevention, especially pertaining to our younger generation of students and student-athletes.Getting men to speak up and reach out for help and assistance is one of my passions. Us men need to not suffer in silence or drown our sorrows in alcohol, hang out at bars and strip joints, or get involved with drug use.Having gone through a recent bout of #depression and #suicidalthoughts myself, I realize now, that I can make a huge difference in the lives of so many by sharing my story, and by sharing various resources I come across as I work in this space.  #http://bit.ly/JamesMentalHealthArticleFind out more about the work I do on my 501c3 non-profit foundationwebsite www.yourgiftoflife.org Order your copy of James Donaldson's latest book,#CelebratingYourGiftofLife: From The Verge of Suicide to a Life of Purpose and Joy

Link for 40 Habits Signupbit.ly/40HabitsofMentalHealth

www.celebratingyourgiftoflife.com

Getting treatment and seeking support

Macari notes that getting treatment for your depression is the best way to protect the mental health of your children. “The good thing is that there are a lot of interventions for parents with depression,” Macari says. Effective treatments for depression often include both therapy and medication, and support groups (either online or in person) can also help. Additionally, Macari notes that family therapy can be a way to help kids and adults build communication and coping skills together.

It’s also important to enlist other adults (including your child’s other parent, if they’re involved) in supporting you and your family while you’re dealing with depression. For instance, you might have a couple of friends and family members on call to step in when you’re not feeling up to daily tasks. Setting up this support on days when you’re feeling better means that your whole family will be under less stress during harder times. Cruz says that, even when she’s spiraling, having a support system has been crucial, and that network includes therapy, her mother, and her pastor. When she’s down, she’s grateful for the support of loved ones who are able to pitch in.

Depression comes with an increased risk of thinking about and attempting suicide, so be sure to reach out for help if you’re having thoughts of suicide. The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline (1-800-273-8255) offers free, 24/7 support across the United States.

Finally, remember that experiencing depression does not mean that you’re an inadequate parent. Both Cruz and Dr. Woldorf show that one can still care for their children even when battling depression. Being open about their struggles with their daughters has helped both their mental health and their children’s.
https://standingabovethecrowd.com/james-donaldson-on-mental-health-parenting-through-depression/

James Donaldson on Mental Health - Parenting Through Depression

James Donaldson on Mental Health - Parenting Through Depression

How to take care of yourself and your family





Writer: Tonya Russell



Clinical Expert: Cara L. Macari, LCSW



What You'll Learn



- How can parents’ depression affect kids?

- What are some ways to talk to kids about your depression?

- How can parents who are dealing with depression get support and treatment?

- Quick Read

- Full Article

- What is it like to parent with depression? 

- How a parent’s depression can impact children 

- Discussing your depression with your children

- Getting treatment and seeking support

Feeling sad, lacking energy and struggling to enjoy time with your kids can make parenting feel overwhelming. Some parents begin experiencing depression around the birth of a child, but some develop it later or find that parenting intensifies existing mental health challenges. And it’s not just moms — parents of any gender can experience depression. If you’re a parent dealing with depression, you’re not alone, and treatment can help.



All parents have hard days sometimes, but depression is more than ordinary stress. It can make you feel hopeless and disconnected from your children. You might have trouble finding energy to do things with your kids, which can lead to guilt and low self-esteem. Then, those feelings make it even harder to feel motivated.



Depression doesn’t mean that you’re a bad parent. Talking to kids about your depression in a clear, age-appropriate way can help them understand what’s going on and avoid blaming themselves. For little kids, you can share that you have a condition that affects your mind and feelings and makes you tired. For older kids, you can name the disorder and explain in more detail how it affects you. It also helps kids to know what you’re doing to cope: “I have hard days, but my doctor is helping me find ways to make things easier.”



If you have depression, getting treatment is one of the best ways to protect your children’s mental health. Therapy and medication can both make a big difference, and support groups can help too. It’s also important to make sure you have other adults backing you up and looking out for your kids’ needs. For instance, you might have a couple of friends and family members on call to step in when you’re not feeling up to daily tasks.



Depression comes with an increased risk of thinking about and attempting suicide, so be sure to reach out for help if you’re having thoughts of suicide. The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline (1-800-273-8255) offers free, 24/7 support across the United States.



Most parents wonder at one time or another whether or not they’re doing a good enough job. But for parents dealing with depression, these thoughts can feel overwhelming. Because depression affects self-esteem and makes it hard to stay engaged with daily life, parenting with depression might make showing up for your kids feel impossible.



If you’re a parent dealing with depression, you’re not alone. The latest research shows that 8.4 percent of adults in the U.S. –– or 21 million people –– have had at least one major depressive episode.  And some research indicates that the risk of developing depression may be higher for parents of children with intellectual and developmental disabilities. Here’s how to tell if you might be experiencing depression, and how to care for your kids (and yourself!) if you are. Depression is treatable, and with support, parents experiencing it can thrive.



What is it like to parent with depression? 



There are different degrees of depression, and it can look different from person to person. Some parents experience depression around the birth of a child, while others might develop it much later. Still others may have been dealing with depression throughout their lives and find that parenting intensifies or changes the experience of coping with it. And depression can affect parents of any gender. You can learn more here about common kinds of depression and their symptoms.



Cara Macari, LCSW, a clinical social worker at the Child Mind Institute explains that depression often affects a parent’s motivation. “With depression come strong urges to sort of hunker down and isolate oneself,” she says. “That makes it difficult to engage in activities, and could even make it difficult to engage with kids.” 



This was the case for Jazmine Cruz, 34, of New Jersey. The mother of two and elementary school teacher has battled depression since her grandfather’s death when she was in middle school. Both of her births came around the same time as the deaths of close family members, which caused a spiral each time.  “You’re supposed to be overjoyed for your first child, but I didn’t have that,” recalls Cruz. “Everything that should have been joyful about motherhood was impacted by depression.” Cruz struggled to pull herself out of that feeling, sometimes to the point of her children’s milestones not seeming significant. She’d grown accustomed to feeling unmotivated and down, but once she had kids, those symptoms became even more distressing.



Macari adds that some parents with depression may find spending time with their children to be less enjoyable, and they may develop a monotone or flat affect. “This can make you appear or feel less warm to your kids and others around you.” And the effects of depression on parenting can also impact the parent’s self-esteem. “When you’re feeling a spiral, you might skip going to the park, for example,” says Macari. “What comes along with that is, ‘I let my kids down, I’m a failure, I’m a terrible parent.’ And after having that thought, you have more sadness, and more depression. And when you have more sadness, and more depression, you continue to have decreased motivation.”



It’s important to remember that depression goes beyond ordinary parenting stress. All parents have rough days, and it’s normal to feel overwhelmed sometimes. The difference is that depression symptoms persist on good days, too, though they may be exacerbated by stressful ones. For example, dreading a busy day from time to time is a normal part of parenting. But frequently feeling so down that you can’t get out of bed is a sign of depression. 



How a parent’s depression can impact children 



Macari notes that parenting with depression can make it difficult to help kids deal with their own big emotions. “If you have a very young child who’s having a lot of tantrums or behavior problems,” she explains, “it’s harder for a parent to regulate their own emotions and help the child regulate theirs.” Without stable emotional role models, young children might have a harder time learning appropriate reactions to upsetting or frustrating situations.



For older kids, a parent’s depression can lead to a sense of responsibility that goes beyond what’s appropriate for their age. Macari notes that they may step into a parentified role, taking on decision-making and household duties when their parents are down.



For instance, if a depressed parent struggles with things like hygiene and housekeeping, or even caring for younger siblings, the child in the parent role may not have the support they need and miss out on age-appropriate activities like spending time on schoolwork and with friends.



Despite the challenges, it’s not a given that parental depression will impact kids negatively, especially when the parent gets treatment. There are strategies and supports you can use to make parenting with depression more manageable and make sure your kids’ needs are met.



Discussing your depression with your children



When a parent is struggling, it’s often helpful for a child to have an age-appropriate explanation.



Even young children can tell when a grown up is dealing with depression, even if they don’t understand it or have the words to describe it. Cruz describes her daughter’s experience: “Once she got to six or seven, she’d begin to notice my energy shift. She’d realize something was wrong because I’d gravitate towards my room.” 



New York City-based therapist Jor-El Caraballo, LMHC, points out, “It’s critical to remember that children are incredibly perceptive, and talking comfortably is essential.” He recommends having age-appropriate conversations. “The conversations should largely depend on the kid and developmental level. For instance, it might be appropriate for younger children to just share that the parent isn’t feeling well and has a condition that affects their mind and makes them more tired than they might look.” It’s also important to emphasize that the parent’s feelings aren’t the child’s fault, since young children in particular tend to blame themselves for problems around them.



For Cruz, part of dealing with depression is being honest with her daughter about what she is experiencing. They have mental health check-ins twice a week, and her daughter participates, expressing her own concerns when she has them. They both try to be as descriptive as possible. When Cruz’s son is old enough to understand and articulate his feelings, she intends to bring him into the conversations as well.



For older children, Caraballo recommends naming depression and identifying specific symptoms. You can also tell kids a little about how you’re taking care of yourself and getting support — for example, “I have hard days, but my doctor is helping me find ways to make things easier.”



Clinical psychologist Gillian Woldorf, PhD, uses this direct approach for her 13-year-old. Their conversations include calling Dr. Woldorf’s condition by name and describing how she’s treated it through therapy and medication. “I think it’s as important for my kid to know about the family history of depression and anxiety as it is for her to know about the family history of allergies and asthma,” she says. “I want her to know what to be alert to in her teen years and beyond, so that if she does start to experience anything similar, she won’t feel as blindsided and alone as I did.”



Dr. Woldorf’s approach includes honest conversations about topics ranging from suicidal ideation to self-harm, and she encourages her daughter to let her know if she or any of her friends are struggling with their mental health. She’s found in her practice treating children and teenagers that kids can handle tough conversations, and that parents who are hesitant to have these conversations may be battling their own sense of stigma. “Today’s kids and teens are growing up in a society that’s much more open about mental health issues than the society of the ‘80s and ‘90s,” she says. 



#James Donaldson notes:
Welcome to the “next chapter” of my life… being a voice and an advocate for #mentalhealthawarenessandsuicideprevention, especially pertaining to our younger generation of students and student-athletes.
Getting men to speak up and reach out for help and assistance is one of my passions. Us men need to not suffer in silence or drown our sorrows in alcohol, hang out at bars and strip joints, or get involved with drug use.
Having gone through a recent bout of #depression and #suicidalthoughts myself, I realize now, that I can make a huge difference in the lives of so many by sharing my story, and by sharing various resources I come across as I work in this space.
  #http://bit.ly/JamesMentalHealthArticle
Find out more about the work I do on my 501c3 non-profit foundation
website www.yourgiftoflife.org Order your copy of James Donaldson's latest book,
#CelebratingYourGiftofLife: From The Verge of Suicide to a Life of Purpose and Joy



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Getting treatment and seeking support



Macari notes that getting treatment for your depression is the best way to protect the mental health of your children. “The good thing is that there are a lot of interventions for parents with depression,” Macari says. Effective treatments for depression often include both therapy and medication, and support groups (either online or in person) can also help. Additionally, Macari notes that family therapy can be a way to help kids and adults build communication and coping skills together.



It’s also important to enlist other adults (including your child’s other parent, if they’re involved) in supporting you and your family while you’re dealing with depression. For instance, you might have a couple of friends and family members on call to step in when you’re not feeling up to daily tasks. Setting up this support on days when you’re feeling better means that your whole family will be under less stress during harder times. Cruz says that, even when she’s spiraling, having a support system has been crucial, and that network includes therapy, her mother, and her pastor. When she’s down, she’s grateful for the support of loved ones who are able to pitch in.



Depression comes with an increased risk of thinking about and attempting suicide, so be sure to reach out for help if you’re having thoughts of suicide. The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline (1-800-273-8255) offers free, 24/7 support across the United States.



Finally, remember that experiencing depression does not mean that you’re an inadequate parent. Both Cruz and Dr. Woldorf show that one can still care for their children even when battling depression. Being open about their struggles with their daughters has helped both their mental health and their children’s.




https://standingabovethecrowd.com/james-donaldson-on-mental-health-parenting-through-depression/

Wednesday, October 25, 2023

James Donaldson on Mental Health - How to Avoid Passing Anxiety on to Your Kids
Help yourself, and them, by learning techniques to manage stress in a healthy way

Writer: Brigit Katz

Clinical Experts: Jamie Howard, PhD , Amanda Greenspan, LCSW

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FA-tE7A1OeE&t=6s

What You'll Learn

- How can parents learn to manage stress?

- How do I keep my child from feeling my anxiety?

- What are some good ways to talk to kids about anxiety?

- Quick Read

- Full Article

- Manage stress with mindfulness

- Learn your triggers

- Model stress tolerance

- Explain your anxiety

- Make a plan

- Know when to disengage

- Find a support system

Managing your own stress is the best way to keep your child from picking up your anxiety. You can try mindfulness techniques like deep breathing. Practicing mindfulness every day can help you feel calmer in general and make the techniques more effective when you are feeling anxious. You can also try to identify the things that make you anxious and set boundaries or come up with a plan for how to respond to them. Working with a therapist can help. 

Once you know how to manage your own stress, you can help kids learn those same skills. You don’t need to hide your anxiety. Instead, talk to kids about what you feel and how you cope with it. You might say: “I’m feeling scared right now, but I know it’s not that likely that the thing I’m scared of will actually happen.”  

If you do something you regret later, talk about that too: “I yelled at you this morning because I was anxious we would be late. But I know there are better ways to react when I feel that way.” Talking about anxiety sends kids the message that stress is normal and they can manage it. It can also help to plan for dealing with anxiety before it happens. Talk to kids about how you can work together to make life less stressful. For example, maybe they get points toward a little reward every time they get ready for school on time. But try to avoid putting kids in charge of managing your anxiety. If a certain thing causes you a lot of stress, find other adults to take over or give you support. Parenting while taking care of your own mental health is hard, but you don’t have to do it alone. 

Witnessing a parent in a state of anxiety can be more than just momentarily unsettling for children. Kids look to their parents for information about how to interpret ambiguous situations; if a parent seems consistently anxious and fearful, the child will determine that a variety of scenarios are unsafe. And there is evidence that children of anxious parents are more likely to exhibit anxiety themselves, a probable combination of genetic risk factors and learned behaviors.

It can be painful to think that, despite your best intentions, you may find yourself transmitting your own stress to your child. But if you are dealing with anxiety and start to notice your child exhibiting anxious behaviors, the first important thing is not to get bogged down by guilt. “There’s no need to punish yourself,” says Jamie Howard, PhD, director of the Stress and Resilience Program at the Child Mind Institute. “It feels really bad to have anxiety, and it’s not easy to turn off.”

But the transmission of anxiety from parent to child is not inevitable. The second important thing to do is implement strategies to help ensure that you do not pass your anxiety on to your kids. That means managing your own stress as effectively as possible, and helping your kids manage theirs. “If a child is prone to anxiety,” Dr. Howard adds, “it’s helpful to know it sooner and to learn the strategies to manage sooner.”

Manage stress with mindfulness

It can be very difficult to communicate a sense of calm to your child when you are struggling to cope with your own anxiety.

When we are feeling anxious, we start worrying about what might happen in the future — all those “what ifs.” To avoid getting caught up in worries about the future, try practicing mindfulness, which is a technique for focusing on the present. Here are two common mindfulness techniques to try:

- Squeeze Muscles: Starting at your toes, pick one muscle and squeeze it tight. Count to five. Release, and notice how your body changes. Repeat exercise moving up your body.

- Belly Breathing: Put one hand on your stomach and one hand on your chest. Slowly breathe in from your stomach (expand like a balloon) and slowly breathe out (deflate).

You can try to practice mindfulness in the moment when you’re feeling anxious, but it is also a good idea to set aside time to be mindful every day. Regular practice will help you use the techniques more effectively when you really need them, and it can also make you feel calmer in general.

Learn your triggers

Pay attention to what triggers your anxiety. While feeling anxiety is unavoidable sometimes, we can also make it worse by dwelling on it. If you are someone who jumps to the worst-case scenario when you have a tickle in your throat, using WebMD might make you even more alarmed. Likewise, if you are stressed out by what’s happening in the news, spending time reading it — or even using social media — might make you feel worse. Setting boundaries about when and how you will engage with things that could trigger your anxiety is a good idea.

If your anxiety is severe and practicing mindfulness and setting boundaries on your own isn’t helping, consulting a mental health professional makes sense. A clinician can help you work through methods of stress management that will suit your specific needs. As you learn to tolerate stress, you will in turn be teaching your child — who takes cues from your behavior — how to cope with situations of uncertainty or doubt.

“A big part of treatment for children with anxiety,” explains Laura Kirmayer, PhD, a clinical psychologist, “is actually teaching parents stress tolerance. It’s a simultaneous process — it’s both directing the parent’s anxiety, and then how they also support and scaffold the child’s development of stress tolerance.”

Model stress tolerance

When you learn some strategies for managing stress that work for you, you can then impart them to your child when she is feeling anxious. If, for example, you are working on thinking rationally during times of stress, you can practice those same skills with your child. Say to her: “I understand that you are scared, but what are the chances something scary is actually going to happen?”

Try to maintain a calm, neutral demeanor in front of your child, even as you are working on managing your anxiety. Dr. Howard says, “Be aware of your facial expressions, the words you choose, and the intensity of the emotion you express, because kids are reading you. They’re little sponges and they pick up on everything.”

#James Donaldson notes:Welcome to the “next chapter” of my life… being a voice and an advocate for #mentalhealthawarenessandsuicideprevention, especially pertaining to our younger generation of students and student-athletes.Getting men to speak up and reach out for help and assistance is one of my passions. Us men need to not suffer in silence or drown our sorrows in alcohol, hang out at bars and strip joints, or get involved with drug use.Having gone through a recent bout of #depression and #suicidalthoughts myself, I realize now, that I can make a huge difference in the lives of so many by sharing my story, and by sharing various resources I come across as I work in this space.  #http://bit.ly/JamesMentalHealthArticleFind out more about the work I do on my 501c3 non-profit foundationwebsite www.yourgiftoflife.org Order your copy of James Donaldson's latest book,#CelebratingYourGiftofLife: From The Verge of Suicide to a Life of Purpose and Joy

Link for 40 Habits Signupbit.ly/40HabitsofMentalHealth

www.celebratingyourgiftoflife.com

Explain your anxiety

While you don’t want your child to witness every anxious moment you experience, you do not have to constantly suppress your emotions. It’s okay — and even healthy — for children to see their parents cope with stress every now and then, but you want to explain why you reacted in the way that you did.

Let’s say, for example, you lost your temper because you were worried about getting your child to school on time. Later, when things are calm, say to her: “Do you remember when I got really frustrated in the morning? I was feeling anxious because you were late for school, and the way I managed my anxiety was by yelling. But there are other ways you can manage it too. Maybe we can come up with a better way of leaving the house each morning.”

Talking about anxiety in this way gives children permission to feel stress, explains Dr. Kirmayer, and sends the message that stress is manageable. “If we feel like we have to constantly protect our children from seeing us sad, or angry, or anxious, we’re subtly giving our children the message that they don’t have permission to feel those feelings, or express them, or manage them,” she adds. “Then we’re also, in a way, giving them an indication that there isn’t a way to manage them when they happen.”

Make a plan

Come up with strategies in advance for managing specific situations that trigger your stress. You may even involve your child in the plan. If, for example, you find yourself feeling anxious about getting your son ready for bed by a reasonable hour, talk to him about how you can work together to better handle this stressful transition in the future. Maybe you can come up with a plan wherein he earns points toward a privilege whenever he goes through his evening routine without protesting his bedtime.

These strategies should be used sparingly: You don’t want to put the responsibility on your child to manage your anxiety if it permeates many aspects of your life. But seeing you implement a plan to curb specific anxious moments lets him know that stress can be tolerated and managed.

Know when to disengage

If you know that a situation causes you undue stress, you might want to plan ahead to absent yourself from that situation so your children will not interpret it as unsafe. Let’s say, for example, that school drop-offs fill you with anxiety. Eventually you want to be able to take your child to school, but if you are still in treatment, you can ask a co-parent or another trusted adult to handle the drop off. “You don’t want to model this very worried, concerned expression upon separating from your children,” says Dr. Howard. “You don’t want them to think that there’s anything dangerous about dropping them off at school.”

In general, if you feel yourself becoming overwhelmed with anxiety in the presence of your child, try to take a break. Danielle Veith, a stay-at-home mom who blogs about her struggles with anxiety, will take some time to herself and engage in stress-relieving activities when she starts to feel acutely anxious. “I have a list of to-do-right-this-second tips for dealing with a panic, which I carry with me: take a walk, drink tea, take a bath, or just get out the door into the air,” she says. “For me, it’s about trusting in the fact that the anxiety will pass and just getting through until it passes.”

Find a support system

Trying to parent while struggling with your own mental health can be a challenge, but you don’t have to do it alone. There is a lot of support online, on blogs, forums and social media. Getting support from the people in your life is important, too. Those people can be therapists, co-parents, or friends — anyone who will step in when you feel overwhelmed, or even just offer words of support. “I am a part of an actual support group, but I also have a network of friends,” says Veith. “I am open with friends about who I am, because I need to be able to call on them and ask for help. ”
https://standingabovethecrowd.com/james-donaldson-on-mental-health-how-to-avoid-passing-anxiety-on-to-your-kids/