James Donaldson on Mental Health - 6 Reasons Men Don’t Get Mental Health Care When They Need It

James Donaldson on Mental Health - 6 Reasons Men Don’t Get Mental Health Care When They Need It

4 ways to help men's mental health

Reviewed by Hara Estroff Marano

KEY POINTS

- Depression can present differently in men, which means it might get missed.

- Stigma and beliefs about masculinity can deter men from seeking the care they need.

- Listening, creating a safe place, and recognizing struggles are steps to helping resolve barriers for men.

By Bryant Clayton, Psy.D., and John Rucker, Psy.D.

Men face an inordinate difficulty seeking and accessing mental healthcare. In the U. S. alone, six million men are affected by depression each year, with some dying by suicide at a rate four times higher than women. In fact, men’s rates of suicide are greater than women across all ages and most of the lifespan.

And yet, an official diagnosis of depression in men is half that of women. Some contend this does not suggest the absence of depression in men but, rather, that 1) men are less likely to present for care and thus less likely to receive a diagnosis, and 2) that men’s depression presents differently (male depressive syndrome), such as with greater anger, alcohol misuse, risk-taking, tiredness, irritability, and claiming to be “on autopilot.”

In addition, men appear two and a half times more likely to die of alcohol-related causes than women. Men are also two to three times more likely to misuse drugs than women.

Several barriers impede men’s willingness to seek and benefit from mental healthcare. These barriers are concerning, considering the alarming and increasing epidemics of suicide, substance use, and problematic coping styles among men (Seidler et al., 2016; Bilsker et al., 2018; Seidler et al., 2019).

#James Donaldson notes:
Welcome to the “next chapter” of my life… being a voice and an advocate for #mentalhealthawarenessandsuicideprevention, especially pertaining to our younger generation of students and student-athletes.
Getting men to speak up and reach out for help and assistance is one of my passions. Us men need to not suffer in silence or drown our sorrows in alcohol, hang out at bars and strip joints, or get involved with drug use.
Having gone through a recent bout of #depression and #suicidalthoughts myself, I realize now, that I can make a huge difference in the lives of so many by sharing my story, and by sharing various resources I come across as I work in this space.  #http://bit.ly/JamesMentalHealthArticle
Find out more about the work I do on my 501c3 non-profit foundation
website www.yourgiftoflife.org Order your copy of James Donaldson's latest book,
#CelebratingYourGiftofLife: From The Verge of Suicide to a Life of Purpose and Joy

www.celebratingyourgiftoflife.com

Link for 40 Habits Signup
bit.ly/40HabitsofMentalHealth

If you'd like to follow and receive my daily blog in to your inbox, just click on it with Follow It. Here's the link https://follow.it/james-donaldson-s-standing-above-the-crowd-s-blog-a-view-from-above-on-things-that-make-the-world-go-round?action=followPub

Barriers Men Face to Seeking Help

- Dominant masculine ideals, often involving stoicism, independence, strength, and control

- Poor mental health knowledge, which can manifest as difficulty communicating or recognizing a need for psychological help

- Societal and self-stigma, which can cause shame about being seen as weak, discomfort with emotional disclosure, and problem minimization

- Atypical symptom expression (male depressive syndrome), which isn’t adequately captured in current diagnostic criteria

- Clinician biases, stereotypes, and discomfort due to rigid assumptions regarding common male behaviors and responses

- Lack of men-centered services.

Montgomery et al. (2011) advocated a need for men-centered care after finding that fathers with mental health concerns and troublesome social conditions had poorer health outcomes. A decade later, Vassallo et al. (2021) concluded similarly after gender-sensitized strategies for men successfully reduced problematic masculine messages of self-reliance and interpersonal dominance.

Multicultural Factors in Men’s Mental Health

Men from minority communities may experience additional sociocultural barriers that further decrease the likelihood of seeking mental health services. At times, men from minority communities could be expected to develop their own solutions when expressing problems to loved ones, lest they jeopardize security and respect in their family unit or roles of authority, work, and leisure. This can hinder their capacity to communicate thoughts, emotions, and bodily disturbances in a healthy, constructive way.

Other relevant sociocultural factors men in marginalized groups face include stigma from their culture of origin, mistrust in public health authority due to histories of systemic discrimination and/or racism, spiritual/religious barriers whereby mental health disorders are conflated with exclusively spiritual concerns, narrow masculine ideals/standards (i.e., machismo in Latin American culture; mental illness as weakness in some Asian communities), and believing their voice or perspective does not matter.

Four Strategies to Support a Man’s Mental Health

- Lend an ear. Recognized that your interactions with the men in your life matter. Your willingness to listen, understand, and dedicate space for men to be vulnerable, mess up, and learn are integral to helping them develop, cope, and become better fathers, husbands, leaders, workers, and citizens of the world.

- Recognize effort with thoughtful affirmation and recognition. We all long to be appreciated. Men often do not feel appreciated unless they are sacrificing and suffering for the sake of others, especially those closest to them. Be willing to recognize and verbalize good efforts, psychological growth, and positive qualities in the men in your life. Encourage them. Limit unnecessary criticism.

- Collaborate to solve problems. When you lend ears and give recognition, you may better empathize and understand the mind/perspective of the person. While this may not eliminate identified concerns, it may facilitate a united front against psychological troubles. In addition, a collaborative spirit can decrease loneliness and boost self-confidence and esteem.

- Get more minds on the case. If a man in your life is troubled by things that go beyond your capacity to help, you might honor the importance of his health by seeking professional guidance. Having “more minds” on a case can bring forth new ideas, fresh perspectives, and innovative solutions to managing life’s problems.

The road to more effective and accessible mental healthcare for men is worth traveling. A dedicated month to honor men’s mental health is a step towards awareness and inclusivity. And yet, mental health knows no calendar. Continuing to elicit discussion with men about their mental health in a nonjudgmental, curious way should be a year-round mission, and more important, an everyday task.

https://standingabovethecrowd.com/james-donaldson-on-mental-health-6-reasons-men-dont-get-mental-health-care-when-they-need-it/

James Donaldson on Mental Health - 6 Reasons Men Don’t Get Mental Health Care When They Need It

4 ways to help men's mental health

Reviewed by Hara Estroff Marano

KEY POINTS

- Depression can present differently in men, which means it might get missed.

- Stigma and beliefs about masculinity can deter men from seeking the care they need.

- Listening, creating a safe place, and recognizing struggles are steps to helping resolve barriers for men.

By Bryant Clayton, Psy.D., and John Rucker, Psy.D.

Men face an inordinate difficulty seeking and accessing mental healthcare. In the U. S. alone, six million men are affected by depression each year, with some dying by suicide at a rate four times higher than women. In fact, men’s rates of suicide are greater than women across all ages and most of the lifespan.

And yet, an official diagnosis of depression in men is half that of women. Some contend this does not suggest the absence of depression in men but, rather, that 1) men are less likely to present for care and thus less likely to receive a diagnosis, and 2) that men’s depression presents differently (male depressive syndrome), such as with greater anger, alcohol misuse, risk-taking, tiredness, irritability, and claiming to be “on autopilot.”

In addition, men appear two and a half times more likely to die of alcohol-related causes than women. Men are also two to three times more likely to misuse drugs than women.

Several barriers impede men’s willingness to seek and benefit from mental healthcare. These barriers are concerning, considering the alarming and increasing epidemics of suicide, substance use, and problematic coping styles among men (Seidler et al., 2016; Bilsker et al., 2018; Seidler et al., 2019).

#James Donaldson notes:Welcome to the “next chapter” of my life… being a voice and an advocate for #mentalhealthawarenessandsuicideprevention, especially pertaining to our younger generation of students and student-athletes.Getting men to speak up and reach out for help and assistance is one of my passions. Us men need to not suffer in silence or drown our sorrows in alcohol, hang out at bars and strip joints, or get involved with drug use.Having gone through a recent bout of #depression and #suicidalthoughts myself, I realize now, that I can make a huge difference in the lives of so many by sharing my story, and by sharing various resources I come across as I work in this space.  #http://bit.ly/JamesMentalHealthArticleFind out more about the work I do on my 501c3 non-profit foundationwebsite www.yourgiftoflife.org Order your copy of James Donaldson's latest book,#CelebratingYourGiftofLife: From The Verge of Suicide to a Life of Purpose and Joy

www.celebratingyourgiftoflife.com

Link for 40 Habits Signupbit.ly/40HabitsofMentalHealth

If you'd like to follow and receive my daily blog in to your inbox, just click on it with Follow It. Here's the link https://follow.it/james-donaldson-s-standing-above-the-crowd-s-blog-a-view-from-above-on-things-that-make-the-world-go-round?action=followPub

Barriers Men Face to Seeking Help

- Dominant masculine ideals, often involving stoicism, independence, strength, and control

- Poor mental health knowledge, which can manifest as difficulty communicating or recognizing a need for psychological help

- Societal and self-stigma, which can cause shame about being seen as weak, discomfort with emotional disclosure, and problem minimization

- Atypical symptom expression (male depressive syndrome), which isn’t adequately captured in current diagnostic criteria

- Clinician biases, stereotypes, and discomfort due to rigid assumptions regarding common male behaviors and responses

- Lack of men-centered services.

Montgomery et al. (2011) advocated a need for men-centered care after finding that fathers with mental health concerns and troublesome social conditions had poorer health outcomes. A decade later, Vassallo et al. (2021) concluded similarly after gender-sensitized strategies for men successfully reduced problematic masculine messages of self-reliance and interpersonal dominance.

Multicultural Factors in Men’s Mental Health

Men from minority communities may experience additional sociocultural barriers that further decrease the likelihood of seeking mental health services. At times, men from minority communities could be expected to develop their own solutions when expressing problems to loved ones, lest they jeopardize security and respect in their family unit or roles of authority, work, and leisure. This can hinder their capacity to communicate thoughts, emotions, and bodily disturbances in a healthy, constructive way.

Other relevant sociocultural factors men in marginalized groups face include stigma from their culture of origin, mistrust in public health authority due to histories of systemic discrimination and/or racism, spiritual/religious barriers whereby mental health disorders are conflated with exclusively spiritual concerns, narrow masculine ideals/standards (i.e., machismo in Latin American culture; mental illness as weakness in some Asian communities), and believing their voice or perspective does not matter.

Four Strategies to Support a Man’s Mental Health

- Lend an ear. Recognized that your interactions with the men in your life matter. Your willingness to listen, understand, and dedicate space for men to be vulnerable, mess up, and learn are integral to helping them develop, cope, and become better fathers, husbands, leaders, workers, and citizens of the world.

- Recognize effort with thoughtful affirmation and recognition. We all long to be appreciated. Men often do not feel appreciated unless they are sacrificing and suffering for the sake of others, especially those closest to them. Be willing to recognize and verbalize good efforts, psychological growth, and positive qualities in the men in your life. Encourage them. Limit unnecessary criticism.

- Collaborate to solve problems. When you lend ears and give recognition, you may better empathize and understand the mind/perspective of the person. While this may not eliminate identified concerns, it may facilitate a united front against psychological troubles. In addition, a collaborative spirit can decrease loneliness and boost self-confidence and esteem.

- Get more minds on the case. If a man in your life is troubled by things that go beyond your capacity to help, you might honor the importance of his health by seeking professional guidance. Having “more minds” on a case can bring forth new ideas, fresh perspectives, and innovative solutions to managing life’s problems.

The road to more effective and accessible mental healthcare for men is worth traveling. A dedicated month to honor men’s mental health is a step towards awareness and inclusivity. And yet, mental health knows no calendar. Continuing to elicit discussion with men about their mental health in a nonjudgmental, curious way should be a year-round mission, and more important, an everyday task.
https://standingabovethecrowd.com/?p=12795

James Donaldson on Mental Health - Suicide deaths are at an all-time high throughout the U.S.

by: Jake McGlumphy

(WTRF) — There have been shock waves throughout the country after professional golfer Grayson Murray tragically took his own life this week at the young age of 30.

The country has been seeing record numbers of suicide deaths over the past three years, but luckily, there are more resources now than ever before to help reduce those numbers.

“It’s okay to not be okay” is a phrase that is being used more now than ever due to suicide deaths reaching an all-time high in the U.S. The CDC reported more than 49,000 suicide deaths in 2021 and 2022, and studies show that it could remain the same for 2023.

Fortunately, in 2021, First Choice Services announced their 988 suicide crisis hotline, which is available for anyone at any time. First Choice Services representative Sheila Moran shares the issues they have been dealing with the most since they started the hotline. 

“We end up hearing about whether it’s problems with romantic partners, parents or children, that tends to be one of the top things. We hear a lot about interpersonal problems, workplace problems, school problems, bullying problems, mental health problems in general, you’re feeling anxious, feeling depressed, day to day, that sort of thing.

Thomas Fellows is an author who has written several self-help books, and he says it may not be easy, but reaching out for help is one of the first steps in reducing the record numbers. 

“It’s important to reach out for support if you’re not feeling okay and you know, you might feel a little bit weird about telling somebody that you don’t feel okay.

The 988 suicide hotline is now one of the easiest ways to access the kind of support needed when dealing with mental health problems but there are also plenty of organizations locally that are always willing to help.  

“NAMI is another, we’re not a crisis hotline, but if you are looking for resources in the community you can always give us a call and we can connect you with mental health resources that are available in the community. Peer support is an individual who has gone through lived experience and maybe received additional education and certification. And so it’s a really awesome way to connect with somebody who has gone through something similar to you.

#James Donaldson notes:Welcome to the “next chapter” of my life… being a voice and an advocate for #mentalhealthawarenessandsuicideprevention, especially pertaining to our younger generation of students and student-athletes.Getting men to speak up and reach out for help and assistance is one of my passions. Us men need to not suffer in silence or drown our sorrows in alcohol, hang out at bars and strip joints, or get involved with drug use.Having gone through a recent bout of #depression and #suicidalthoughts myself, I realize now, that I can make a huge difference in the lives of so many by sharing my story, and by sharing various resources I come across as I work in this space.  #http://bit.ly/JamesMentalHealthArticleFind out more about the work I do on my 501c3 non-profit foundationwebsite www.yourgiftoflife.org Order your copy of James Donaldson's latest book,#CelebratingYourGiftofLife: From The Verge of Suicide to a Life of Purpose and Joy

www.celebratingyourgiftoflife.com

Link for 40 Habits Signupbit.ly/40HabitsofMentalHealth

If you'd like to follow and receive my daily blog in to your inbox, just click on it with Follow It. Here's the link https://follow.it/james-donaldson-s-standing-above-the-crowd-s-blog-a-view-from-above-on-things-that-make-the-world-go-round?action=followPub

Fellows says when dealing with mental health struggles it is important to understand that what you’re going through is never permanent.  

”Being suicidal is the scariest thing because somebody is trying to kill you and that person is you and just know that whatever you’re going through is temporary.” 

For more information on the 9-8-8 suicide crisis hotline and other mental health resources click here.
https://standingabovethecrowd.com/james-donaldson-on-mental-health-suicide-deaths-are-at-an-all-time-high-throughout-the-u-s/

James Donaldson on Mental Health - Suicide deaths are at an all-time high throughout the U.S.

James Donaldson on Mental Health - Suicide deaths are at an all-time high throughout the U.S.

by: Jake McGlumphy

(WTRF) — There have been shock waves throughout the country after professional golfer Grayson Murray tragically took his own life this week at the young age of 30.

The country has been seeing record numbers of suicide deaths over the past three years, but luckily, there are more resources now than ever before to help reduce those numbers.

“It’s okay to not be okay” is a phrase that is being used more now than ever due to suicide deaths reaching an all-time high in the U.S. The CDC reported more than 49,000 suicide deaths in 2021 and 2022, and studies show that it could remain the same for 2023.

Fortunately, in 2021, First Choice Services announced their 988 suicide crisis hotline, which is available for anyone at any time. First Choice Services representative Sheila Moran shares the issues they have been dealing with the most since they started the hotline. 

“We end up hearing about whether it’s problems with romantic partners, parents or children, that tends to be one of the top things. We hear a lot about interpersonal problems, workplace problems, school problems, bullying problems, mental health problems in general, you’re feeling anxious, feeling depressed, day to day, that sort of thing.

Thomas Fellows is an author who has written several self-help books, and he says it may not be easy, but reaching out for help is one of the first steps in reducing the record numbers. 

“It’s important to reach out for support if you’re not feeling okay and you know, you might feel a little bit weird about telling somebody that you don’t feel okay.

The 988 suicide hotline is now one of the easiest ways to access the kind of support needed when dealing with mental health problems but there are also plenty of organizations locally that are always willing to help.  

“NAMI is another, we’re not a crisis hotline, but if you are looking for resources in the community you can always give us a call and we can connect you with mental health resources that are available in the community. Peer support is an individual who has gone through lived experience and maybe received additional education and certification. And so it’s a really awesome way to connect with somebody who has gone through something similar to you.

#James Donaldson notes:
Welcome to the “next chapter” of my life… being a voice and an advocate for #mentalhealthawarenessandsuicideprevention, especially pertaining to our younger generation of students and student-athletes.
Getting men to speak up and reach out for help and assistance is one of my passions. Us men need to not suffer in silence or drown our sorrows in alcohol, hang out at bars and strip joints, or get involved with drug use.
Having gone through a recent bout of #depression and #suicidalthoughts myself, I realize now, that I can make a huge difference in the lives of so many by sharing my story, and by sharing various resources I come across as I work in this space.  #http://bit.ly/JamesMentalHealthArticle
Find out more about the work I do on my 501c3 non-profit foundation
website www.yourgiftoflife.org Order your copy of James Donaldson's latest book,
#CelebratingYourGiftofLife: From The Verge of Suicide to a Life of Purpose and Joy

www.celebratingyourgiftoflife.com

Link for 40 Habits Signup
bit.ly/40HabitsofMentalHealth

If you'd like to follow and receive my daily blog in to your inbox, just click on it with Follow It. Here's the link https://follow.it/james-donaldson-s-standing-above-the-crowd-s-blog-a-view-from-above-on-things-that-make-the-world-go-round?action=followPub

Fellows says when dealing with mental health struggles it is important to understand that what you’re going through is never permanent.  

”Being suicidal is the scariest thing because somebody is trying to kill you and that person is you and just know that whatever you’re going through is temporary.” 

For more information on the 9-8-8 suicide crisis hotline and other mental health resources click here.

https://standingabovethecrowd.com/james-donaldson-on-mental-health-suicide-deaths-are-at-an-all-time-high-throughout-the-u-s/

James Donaldson on Mental Health - Mental Health Challenges of LGBTQ+ Kids

A look at risk factors and protective factors

Photo by Sharon McCutcheon on Pexels.com

Writer: Juliann Garey

Clinical Expert: Emma C Woodward, PhD

What You'll Learn

- What factors make LGBTQ+ kids more likely to develop mental health problems?

- What can reduce those risks?

- How can parents support LGBTQ+ kids’ mental health?

- Quick Article

- Full Article

- Key risk factors for LGBTQ+ youth

- Key protective factors

- How parents can help

Being LGBTQ+ doesn’t cause mental health problems. But because LGBTQ+ kids often face factors like rejection, bullying, discrimination, and violence, they are at a higher risk of challenges including depression, anxiety, and attempting suicide. However, there are ways that parents and others can support their mental health and help them grow up safe and happy.

Factors that make kids more likely to develop mental health challenges are called risk factors. The stress of being LGBTQ+ is a risk factor for nearly all kids who identify as LGBTQ+. They may be scared of being rejected or worry that they might be harassed or discriminated against because of their identity.

Directly experiencing bullying or discrimination is also a major risk factor, and so is lacking support at home and/or at school. Not having access to supportive mental health care and being addressed by the wrong name or pronouns are risk factors as well.

Things that reduce the impact of risk factors are called protective factors. They make it less likely that kids will develop mental health challenges. The biggest protective factor for LGBTQ+ kids is having unconditional love and support at home. Other supportive adults can also make a big difference, and so can getting good health care, attending a school with supportive policies, and being able to safely use the name and pronouns that match their identity.

#James Donaldson notes:Welcome to the “next chapter” of my life… being a voice and an advocate for #mentalhealthawarenessandsuicideprevention, especially pertaining to our younger generation of students and student-athletes.Getting men to speak up and reach out for help and assistance is one of my passions. Us men need to not suffer in silence or drown our sorrows in alcohol, hang out at bars and strip joints, or get involved with drug use.Having gone through a recent bout of #depression and #suicidalthoughts myself, I realize now, that I can make a huge difference in the lives of so many by sharing my story, and by sharing various resources I come across as I work in this space.  #http://bit.ly/JamesMentalHealthArticleFind out more about the work I do on my 501c3 non-profit foundationwebsite www.yourgiftoflife.org Order your copy of James Donaldson's latest book,#CelebratingYourGiftofLife: From The Verge of Suicide to a Life of Purpose and Joy

www.celebratingyourgiftoflife.com

Link for 40 Habits Signupbit.ly/40HabitsofMentalHealth

If you'd like to follow and receive my daily blog in to your inbox, just click on it with Follow It. Here's the link https://follow.it/james-donaldson-s-standing-above-the-crowd-s-blog-a-view-from-above-on-things-that-make-the-world-go-round?action=followPub

Parents of LGBTQ+ kids can support them by making home a safe space and advocating for them at school when necessary. It also helps to connect them to health care (both physical health and mental health) that respects their gender identity and sexual orientation. This kind of support can make the difference between a child who develops mental heath issues and one who thrives as they get older.

If you have a child who’s LGBTQ+ you may worry about whether they’re getting the support they need to be safe and healthy. You may be aware that LGBTQ+ kids are at higher risk than other kids for developing mental health problems such as depression, anxiety, and substance abuse. They also have higher rates of contemplating, attempting, and dying by suicide.

That’s why it’s important to understand what factors make an LGBTQ+ young person more or less likely to develop a mental health problem, including considering or attempting suicide.

Being LGBTQ+ doesn’t cause mental health problems — and is not caused by mental health problems. Rather, these kids’ increased risk of developing mental health problems stems from exposure to factors like rejection, bullying, discrimination, and violence.  

While acceptance of LGBTQ+ kids has increased over the last few decades, the current moment is an especially challenging one. The coronavirus pandemic took a serious toll, isolating many queer kids from important support networks — friends, teachers, allies, and adult role models. Recent homophobic and transphobic legislation may also contribute to increased mental health risks.

In a 2022 Trevor Project poll of 34,000 LGBTQ+ youth between the ages of 13 and 24 years old, 73 percent reported feeling symptoms of anxiety, and 58 percent reported symptoms of depression. Forty-five percent said they had seriously considered suicide. For transgender youth, the numbers are even worse: 1 in 5 actually attempted suicide.What can be done?

The more we know about what helps — and harms — LGBTQ+ kids, the better we can support them. Here, we look at both the risk factors — things that increase the likelihood that an LGBTQ+ kid will develop serious mental health problems — and the protective factors, or things that reduce that risk. If a child has a lot of risk factors and hardly any protective factors, they are particularly vulnerable. On the other hand, if they have a fair number of risk factors but a lot of protective factors, they may be less vulnerable.

Key risk factors for LGBTQ+ youth

The stress of being LGBTQ+ is a risk factor that’s near-universal. “These youth’s identities carry stressors with them related to being in such a marginalized and misunderstood group,” says Emma Woodward, PhD, a clinical psychologist at the Child Mind Institute. The pressure and distress that come with feeling the need to conceal their identities, the fear that they will be harassed or discriminated against, the feelings of rejection and self-doubt that can result from being treated as if who they are is something to be ashamed of.

Additionally, LGBTQ+ kids often have stressful or even traumatic experiences that can impact their mental health, including:

- Being bullied or actively discriminated against. “Bullying, discrimination, and social exclusion are hugely important risk factors for these kids,” says Dr. Woodward. According to the Trevor report, 73% of LGBTQ+ youth reported that they have experienced discrimination based on their sexual orientation or gender identity at least once in their lifetime.

- Little or no family support. One of the biggest health and safety risk factors for queer youth is lack of familial support and acceptance.

- Lack of support by teachers and school administration.

- Lack of access to mental health care. (The 2022 Trevor Project poll found that 60% of respondents were unable to get necessary mental health services.)

- Physical harm. The Trevor poll found that 38% of LGBTQ youth reported having been physically threatened or harmed due to their sexual orientation or gender identity.

- Being threatened with conversion therapy. Therapy designed to make a queer or trans person “go back to normal” has been consistently associated with negative mental health outcomes and greater risk for suicide. 

- Being misgendered (addressed using the wrong pronouns) or not being called by their chosen name.

Key protective factors

While their struggles can be significant, with support and acceptance, LGBTQ+ kids can thrive. Most experts agree that the most important protective factor for LGBTQ+ kids is a high degree of support from family or caregivers. The Trevor Project poll bears that out: Having a strong family network and support reduced the percentage of youth who considered or attempted suicide in the past year by more than half.

Other important protective factors include:

- Access to the health care they need. If a child is struggling to get help, parents, caregivers, or community support networks can step in as advocates, says Dr. Woodward. In some ways, that may actually be easier now than it was two years ago, especially in areas where in-person mental health care has historically been limited.

- Being able to wear the clothes they need to express their identity or change their appearance to match their identity.

- Having a supportive adult in their life. This can be a teacher, family friend, coach, guidance counselor — anyone who can provide kindness and support when kids need it most. “Just having an adult who is understanding and supportive and will listen to a child can be really helpful,” says Dr. Woodward. “I think people have the ability help on a micro scale. People can provide individual support for these kids.”

- Being allowed to use their chosen names and pronouns at home, school, and work. One study showed that this significantly reduced depression and suicidal thinking in LGBTQ+ youth.

- Having strong LGBTQ+ role models. Positive representations of LGBTQ+ individuals in the media — on streaming platforms, in films, music, sports, and even advertising — are becoming more and more common.

- Attending a school with supportive policies, such as allowing LGBTQ+ kids to use the bathroom of their choice or a zero-tolerance policy regarding bullying.

- Having a doctor who is an ally.

- Exposure to happy, thriving LGBTQ+ adults.

How parents can help

Though we can never entirely protect LGBTQ+ kids from the challenges they face, reducing risk factors and increasing protective factors can make a big difference. Here are a few ways that parents and families can do just that:

- Make your home a safe space. “Just having home be a place that they can be themselves without judgment or rejection or consequences makes a big difference,” says Dr. Woodward.

- Advocate for your child in their school. “Parents can help kids advocate for and get the services and accommodations they need,” Dr. Woodward says. “And, if their teen is having negative experiences in school, parents can play a role as well. Those are ways in which parents can help kids feel supported.”

- Get your child connected to health care (both physical health and mental health) that affirms their sexual orientation and gender identity. For many LGBTQ+ kids, working with a supportive mental health professional is an important way to process challenges and learn coping skills. You can learn more here about finding affordable mental health care in your area.

- Have a talk about social media — what’s safe and what’s not.

Parenting can be hard at times and being the parent of an LGBTQ+ kid can be harder for a lot of reasons. But even if it takes you a long time to accept who they are, you can support them from the moment they come out to you. And that support can be the difference between having a kid who thrives or one who struggles with ongoing mental health issues.

Photo by Sharon McCutcheon on Pexels.com
https://standingabovethecrowd.com/james-donaldson-on-mental-health-mental-health-challenges-of-lgbtq-kids/

James Donaldson on Mental Health - Mental Health Challenges of LGBTQ+ Kids

James Donaldson on Mental Health - Mental Health Challenges of LGBTQ+ Kids

A look at risk factors and protective factors

Photo by Sharon McCutcheon on Pexels.com

Writer: Juliann Garey

Clinical Expert: Emma C Woodward, PhD

What You'll Learn

- What factors make LGBTQ+ kids more likely to develop mental health problems?

- What can reduce those risks?

- How can parents support LGBTQ+ kids’ mental health?

- Quick Article

- Full Article

- Key risk factors for LGBTQ+ youth

- Key protective factors

- How parents can help

Being LGBTQ+ doesn’t cause mental health problems. But because LGBTQ+ kids often face factors like rejection, bullying, discrimination, and violence, they are at a higher risk of challenges including depression, anxiety, and attempting suicide. However, there are ways that parents and others can support their mental health and help them grow up safe and happy.

Factors that make kids more likely to develop mental health challenges are called risk factors. The stress of being LGBTQ+ is a risk factor for nearly all kids who identify as LGBTQ+. They may be scared of being rejected or worry that they might be harassed or discriminated against because of their identity.

Directly experiencing bullying or discrimination is also a major risk factor, and so is lacking support at home and/or at school. Not having access to supportive mental health care and being addressed by the wrong name or pronouns are risk factors as well.

Things that reduce the impact of risk factors are called protective factors. They make it less likely that kids will develop mental health challenges. The biggest protective factor for LGBTQ+ kids is having unconditional love and support at home. Other supportive adults can also make a big difference, and so can getting good health care, attending a school with supportive policies, and being able to safely use the name and pronouns that match their identity.

#James Donaldson notes:
Welcome to the “next chapter” of my life… being a voice and an advocate for #mentalhealthawarenessandsuicideprevention, especially pertaining to our younger generation of students and student-athletes.
Getting men to speak up and reach out for help and assistance is one of my passions. Us men need to not suffer in silence or drown our sorrows in alcohol, hang out at bars and strip joints, or get involved with drug use.
Having gone through a recent bout of #depression and #suicidalthoughts myself, I realize now, that I can make a huge difference in the lives of so many by sharing my story, and by sharing various resources I come across as I work in this space.  #http://bit.ly/JamesMentalHealthArticle
Find out more about the work I do on my 501c3 non-profit foundation
website www.yourgiftoflife.org Order your copy of James Donaldson's latest book,
#CelebratingYourGiftofLife: From The Verge of Suicide to a Life of Purpose and Joy

www.celebratingyourgiftoflife.com

Link for 40 Habits Signup
bit.ly/40HabitsofMentalHealth

If you'd like to follow and receive my daily blog in to your inbox, just click on it with Follow It. Here's the link https://follow.it/james-donaldson-s-standing-above-the-crowd-s-blog-a-view-from-above-on-things-that-make-the-world-go-round?action=followPub

Parents of LGBTQ+ kids can support them by making home a safe space and advocating for them at school when necessary. It also helps to connect them to health care (both physical health and mental health) that respects their gender identity and sexual orientation. This kind of support can make the difference between a child who develops mental heath issues and one who thrives as they get older.

If you have a child who’s LGBTQ+ you may worry about whether they’re getting the support they need to be safe and healthy. You may be aware that LGBTQ+ kids are at higher risk than other kids for developing mental health problems such as depression, anxiety, and substance abuse. They also have higher rates of contemplating, attempting, and dying by suicide.

That’s why it’s important to understand what factors make an LGBTQ+ young person more or less likely to develop a mental health problem, including considering or attempting suicide.

Being LGBTQ+ doesn’t cause mental health problems — and is not caused by mental health problems. Rather, these kids’ increased risk of developing mental health problems stems from exposure to factors like rejection, bullying, discrimination, and violence.  

While acceptance of LGBTQ+ kids has increased over the last few decades, the current moment is an especially challenging one. The coronavirus pandemic took a serious toll, isolating many queer kids from important support networks — friends, teachers, allies, and adult role models. Recent homophobic and transphobic legislation may also contribute to increased mental health risks.

In a 2022 Trevor Project poll of 34,000 LGBTQ+ youth between the ages of 13 and 24 years old, 73 percent reported feeling symptoms of anxiety, and 58 percent reported symptoms of depression. Forty-five percent said they had seriously considered suicide. For transgender youth, the numbers are even worse: 1 in 5 actually attempted suicide.

What can be done?

The more we know about what helps — and harms — LGBTQ+ kids, the better we can support them. Here, we look at both the risk factors — things that increase the likelihood that an LGBTQ+ kid will develop serious mental health problems — and the protective factors, or things that reduce that risk. If a child has a lot of risk factors and hardly any protective factors, they are particularly vulnerable. On the other hand, if they have a fair number of risk factors but a lot of protective factors, they may be less vulnerable.

Key risk factors for LGBTQ+ youth

The stress of being LGBTQ+ is a risk factor that’s near-universal. “These youth’s identities carry stressors with them related to being in such a marginalized and misunderstood group,” says Emma Woodward, PhD, a clinical psychologist at the Child Mind Institute. The pressure and distress that come with feeling the need to conceal their identities, the fear that they will be harassed or discriminated against, the feelings of rejection and self-doubt that can result from being treated as if who they are is something to be ashamed of.

Additionally, LGBTQ+ kids often have stressful or even traumatic experiences that can impact their mental health, including:

- Being bullied or actively discriminated against. “Bullying, discrimination, and social exclusion are hugely important risk factors for these kids,” says Dr. Woodward. According to the Trevor report, 73% of LGBTQ+ youth reported that they have experienced discrimination based on their sexual orientation or gender identity at least once in their lifetime.

- Little or no family support. One of the biggest health and safety risk factors for queer youth is lack of familial support and acceptance.

- Lack of support by teachers and school administration.

- Lack of access to mental health care. (The 2022 Trevor Project poll found that 60% of respondents were unable to get necessary mental health services.)

- Physical harm. The Trevor poll found that 38% of LGBTQ youth reported having been physically threatened or harmed due to their sexual orientation or gender identity.

- Being threatened with conversion therapy. Therapy designed to make a queer or trans person “go back to normal” has been consistently associated with negative mental health outcomes and greater risk for suicide. 

- Being misgendered (addressed using the wrong pronouns) or not being called by their chosen name.

Key protective factors

While their struggles can be significant, with support and acceptance, LGBTQ+ kids can thrive. Most experts agree that the most important protective factor for LGBTQ+ kids is a high degree of support from family or caregivers. The Trevor Project poll bears that out: Having a strong family network and support reduced the percentage of youth who considered or attempted suicide in the past year by more than half.

Other important protective factors include:

- Access to the health care they need. If a child is struggling to get help, parents, caregivers, or community support networks can step in as advocates, says Dr. Woodward. In some ways, that may actually be easier now than it was two years ago, especially in areas where in-person mental health care has historically been limited.

- Being able to wear the clothes they need to express their identity or change their appearance to match their identity.

- Having a supportive adult in their life. This can be a teacher, family friend, coach, guidance counselor — anyone who can provide kindness and support when kids need it most. “Just having an adult who is understanding and supportive and will listen to a child can be really helpful,” says Dr. Woodward. “I think people have the ability help on a micro scale. People can provide individual support for these kids.”

- Being allowed to use their chosen names and pronouns at home, school, and work. One study showed that this significantly reduced depression and suicidal thinking in LGBTQ+ youth.

- Having strong LGBTQ+ role models. Positive representations of LGBTQ+ individuals in the media — on streaming platforms, in films, music, sports, and even advertising — are becoming more and more common.

- Attending a school with supportive policies, such as allowing LGBTQ+ kids to use the bathroom of their choice or a zero-tolerance policy regarding bullying.

- Having a doctor who is an ally.

- Exposure to happy, thriving LGBTQ+ adults.

How parents can help

Though we can never entirely protect LGBTQ+ kids from the challenges they face, reducing risk factors and increasing protective factors can make a big difference. Here are a few ways that parents and families can do just that:

- Make your home a safe space. “Just having home be a place that they can be themselves without judgment or rejection or consequences makes a big difference,” says Dr. Woodward.

- Advocate for your child in their school. “Parents can help kids advocate for and get the services and accommodations they need,” Dr. Woodward says. “And, if their teen is having negative experiences in school, parents can play a role as well. Those are ways in which parents can help kids feel supported.”

- Get your child connected to health care (both physical health and mental health) that affirms their sexual orientation and gender identity. For many LGBTQ+ kids, working with a supportive mental health professional is an important way to process challenges and learn coping skills. You can learn more here about finding affordable mental health care in your area.

- Have a talk about social media — what’s safe and what’s not.

Parenting can be hard at times and being the parent of an LGBTQ+ kid can be harder for a lot of reasons. But even if it takes you a long time to accept who they are, you can support them from the moment they come out to you. And that support can be the difference between having a kid who thrives or one who struggles with ongoing mental health issues.

Photo by Sharon McCutcheon on Pexels.com
https://standingabovethecrowd.com/james-donaldson-on-mental-health-mental-health-challenges-of-lgbtq-kids/

James Donaldson on Mental Health - How to Address America’s Mental Health Crisis? Talk to Your Doctor

Many Americans are struggling with their mental health. Family physicians and psychiatrists know how to help.

By Steven Furr and Petros Levounis

Nearly 30% of American adults in 2023 reported having been diagnosed with depression at some point in their lives.

The data on mental health in America tells a bleak story.

The suicide rate for kids in the U.S. between the ages of 10 and 14 was three times as high in 2021 as it was in 2007, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.

Nearly 30% of American adults in 2023 reported having been diagnosed with depression at some point in their lives.

And recent studies indicate teenagers who more often use social media are at increased risk of negative mental health outcomes, especially girls.

It’s become abundantly clear that as we emerge from one public health emergency in the COVID-19 pandemic, we must address another. But this crisis can be changed by improving access to mental health care in the U.S.

As family physicians and psychiatrists, we see, speak and listen to patients who are experiencing mental health challenges every day. We see firsthand how stigma and discrimination against people with mental illness permeates workplaces, relationships and even the medical community.

We always explain to patients and their families that mental illness is a medical problem, just like heart disease or diabetes, and it is treatable. We are well-equipped to have hard conversations, connect patients with resources and prescribe medication and other therapeutic interventions when needed.

But access to mental health care is a problem. High costs and a shortage of behavioral health professionals have put needed care out of reach for many patients. In 2021, only a third of people across three major types of health care coverage who had a diagnosed behavioral health condition received treatment from a behavioral health specialist within the same year.

We need a major paradigm shift – one that goes beyond simply talking about the importance of mental health care and actually makes access to this care tangible, equitable and affordable.

There are a few ways to improve access to lifesaving mental health services, but perhaps the first step is answering what often is a patient’s first question: “Where do I begin?”

The answer, and often the treatment, can be found at a primary care physician’s office. Primary care physicians frequently serve as the first point of contact for patients navigating the health care system, and many people with poor mental health will be diagnosed and treated in the primary care setting. In fact, one study found primary care physicians provided most of the care for patients with depression, anxiety and other mental health issues not classified as severe.

#James Donaldson notes:Welcome to the “next chapter” of my life… being a voice and an advocate for #mentalhealthawarenessandsuicideprevention, especially pertaining to our younger generation of students and student-athletes.Getting men to speak up and reach out for help and assistance is one of my passions. Us men need to not suffer in silence or drown our sorrows in alcohol, hang out at bars and strip joints, or get involved with drug use.Having gone through a recent bout of #depression and #suicidalthoughts myself, I realize now, that I can make a huge difference in the lives of so many by sharing my story, and by sharing various resources I come across as I work in this space.  #http://bit.ly/JamesMentalHealthArticleFind out more about the work I do on my 501c3 non-profit foundationwebsite www.yourgiftoflife.org Order your copy of James Donaldson's latest book,#CelebratingYourGiftofLife: From The Verge of Suicide to a Life of Purpose and Joy

www.celebratingyourgiftoflife.com

Link for 40 Habits Signupbit.ly/40HabitsofMentalHealth

If you'd like to follow and receive my daily blog in to your inbox, just click on it with Follow It. Here's the link https://follow.it/james-donaldson-s-standing-above-the-crowd-s-blog-a-view-from-above-on-things-that-make-the-world-go-round?action=followPub

Given that primary care physicians may be the only source of mental health care for many patients – especially in rural and underserved communities – integrating mental health services and primary care resources has never been more important.

Early intervention and treatments matter in mental health care. When primary care physicians can spot emerging symptoms and treat them or refer patients to psychiatrists, health outcomes often improve. For example, research indicates earlier access to specialized treatment can lead to better outcomes for people with psychosis and obsessive-compulsive disorder, while access to care for youth with borderline personality disorder could lead to improved functioning.

Early intervention can also reduce the chance of substance use progressing to a disorder.

One promising model for care is to have primary care physicians work with behavioral health specialists on site, allowing them to address patients’ mental and physical health at the same time, including conditions like anxiety and depression. In this integrated behavioral health care model, physicians can facilitate a safe exchange of information and connect patients with other specialists like psychiatrists, who can also help with further counseling and medication needs. These models are increasingly common and help make care more accessible.

If our nation’s leaders want to address the country’s alarming mental health crisis, they should get serious about integrating mental health services in a primary care setting. Family physicians and psychiatrists know how to do this, and we stand ready to work with public health and policy officials to avert this growing crisis.

It will take the help of the medical community, policymakers, patients and families to make unfettered access to mental health care a reality.

Photo by rawpixel.com on Pexels.com
https://standingabovethecrowd.com/james-donaldson-on-mental-health-how-to-address-americas-mental-health-crisis-talk-to-your-doctor/

James Donaldson on Mental Health - How to Address America’s Mental Health Crisis? Talk to Your Doctor

James Donaldson on Mental Health - How to Address America’s Mental Health Crisis? Talk to Your Doctor

Many Americans are struggling with their mental health. Family physicians and psychiatrists know how to help.

By Steven Furr and Petros Levounis

Nearly 30% of American adults in 2023 reported having been diagnosed with depression at some point in their lives.

The data on mental health in America tells a bleak story.

The suicide rate for kids in the U.S. between the ages of 10 and 14 was three times as high in 2021 as it was in 2007, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.

Nearly 30% of American adults in 2023 reported having been diagnosed with depression at some point in their lives.

And recent studies indicate teenagers who more often use social media are at increased risk of negative mental health outcomes, especially girls.

It’s become abundantly clear that as we emerge from one public health emergency in the COVID-19 pandemic, we must address another. But this crisis can be changed by improving access to mental health care in the U.S.

As family physicians and psychiatrists, we see, speak and listen to patients who are experiencing mental health challenges every day. We see firsthand how stigma and discrimination against people with mental illness permeates workplaces, relationships and even the medical community.

We always explain to patients and their families that mental illness is a medical problem, just like heart disease or diabetes, and it is treatable. We are well-equipped to have hard conversations, connect patients with resources and prescribe medication and other therapeutic interventions when needed.

But access to mental health care is a problem. High costs and a shortage of behavioral health professionals have put needed care out of reach for many patients. In 2021, only a third of people across three major types of health care coverage who had a diagnosed behavioral health condition received treatment from a behavioral health specialist within the same year.

We need a major paradigm shift – one that goes beyond simply talking about the importance of mental health care and actually makes access to this care tangible, equitable and affordable.

There are a few ways to improve access to lifesaving mental health services, but perhaps the first step is answering what often is a patient’s first question: “Where do I begin?”

The answer, and often the treatment, can be found at a primary care physician’s office. Primary care physicians frequently serve as the first point of contact for patients navigating the health care system, and many people with poor mental health will be diagnosed and treated in the primary care setting. In fact, one study found primary care physicians provided most of the care for patients with depression, anxiety and other mental health issues not classified as severe.

#James Donaldson notes:
Welcome to the “next chapter” of my life… being a voice and an advocate for #mentalhealthawarenessandsuicideprevention, especially pertaining to our younger generation of students and student-athletes.
Getting men to speak up and reach out for help and assistance is one of my passions. Us men need to not suffer in silence or drown our sorrows in alcohol, hang out at bars and strip joints, or get involved with drug use.
Having gone through a recent bout of #depression and #suicidalthoughts myself, I realize now, that I can make a huge difference in the lives of so many by sharing my story, and by sharing various resources I come across as I work in this space.  #http://bit.ly/JamesMentalHealthArticle
Find out more about the work I do on my 501c3 non-profit foundation
website www.yourgiftoflife.org Order your copy of James Donaldson's latest book,
#CelebratingYourGiftofLife: From The Verge of Suicide to a Life of Purpose and Joy

www.celebratingyourgiftoflife.com

Link for 40 Habits Signup
bit.ly/40HabitsofMentalHealth

If you'd like to follow and receive my daily blog in to your inbox, just click on it with Follow It. Here's the link https://follow.it/james-donaldson-s-standing-above-the-crowd-s-blog-a-view-from-above-on-things-that-make-the-world-go-round?action=followPub

Given that primary care physicians may be the only source of mental health care for many patients – especially in rural and underserved communities – integrating mental health services and primary care resources has never been more important.

Early intervention and treatments matter in mental health care. When primary care physicians can spot emerging symptoms and treat them or refer patients to psychiatrists, health outcomes often improve. For example, research indicates earlier access to specialized treatment can lead to better outcomes for people with psychosis and obsessive-compulsive disorder, while access to care for youth with borderline personality disorder could lead to improved functioning.

Early intervention can also reduce the chance of substance use progressing to a disorder.

One promising model for care is to have primary care physicians work with behavioral health specialists on site, allowing them to address patients’ mental and physical health at the same time, including conditions like anxiety and depression. In this integrated behavioral health care model, physicians can facilitate a safe exchange of information and connect patients with other specialists like psychiatrists, who can also help with further counseling and medication needs. These models are increasingly common and help make care more accessible.

If our nation’s leaders want to address the country’s alarming mental health crisis, they should get serious about integrating mental health services in a primary care setting. Family physicians and psychiatrists know how to do this, and we stand ready to work with public health and policy officials to avert this growing crisis.

It will take the help of the medical community, policymakers, patients and families to make unfettered access to mental health care a reality.

Photo by rawpixel.com on Pexels.com
https://standingabovethecrowd.com/james-donaldson-on-mental-health-how-to-address-americas-mental-health-crisis-talk-to-your-doctor/

James Donaldson on Mental Health - How to Support Kids Who Are Questioning

Helping young people navigate gender identity and sexual orientation

Photo by Anna Shvets on Pexels.com

Writer: Juliann Garey

Clinical Expert: Emma C Woodward, PhD

What You'll Learn

- What does it mean for a child to be questioning?

- How can families support kids who are questioning their gender identity or sexual orientation?

- What mental health risks do questioning kids face?

- Quick Read

- Full Article

- What does it mean to be “questioning?”

- What helps kids when they are in a questioning mode?

- Emphasize acceptance

- Risk for mental health challenges

- Dealing with bullying

- How to handle your own challenging feelings

It’s common for kids to question their gender identity and sexual orientation, but the process can be confusing and scary. Young people who are dealing with these kinds of questions do best when their families support them.

If your child comes to you with questions or concerns about their gender identity or sexual orientation, the most important thing is to listen and let them know that you love them and support them no matter what. If you think that your child might be questioning, let them know that you’re always there if they want to talk. Then, let them take the lead, and don’t push them to talk before they’re ready.

It also helps to let your child know that your family accepts all gender identities and sexual orientations. Speak openly about non-straight people in your life and use people’s correct pronouns. And if your child wants to use a different name or pronouns, take them seriously and do as they ask.

Not all kids who are questioning are upset about it, but LGBTQ+ kids are at higher risk for challenges like depression and anxiety, especially if they feel rejected by family or friends. Keep an eye out for big changes in mood or behavior. Kids who are very distressed about their gender identity may also be experiencing a mental health issue called gender dysphoria. Gender dysphoria comes with an increased risk of suicidal thinking and behavior, especially when kids don’t feel accepted, but treatment can help a lot.

It’s normal to experience anxiety or sadness of your own if your child is questioning. Those feelings are valid, but it’s important to cope with them separately from your child and continue supporting them no matter how you feel. A therapist of your own or a support organization like PFLAG can help.

In recent years, the way kids and teens think about gender and sexuality has moved beyond the simple binaries of male/female and gay/straight. This gives them a lot more flexibility to understand and express their gender and sexual orientation in ways that feel right to them. But sorting out these feelings and thoughts can be confusing and sometimes scary — for kids and their families. And questioning kids do best when they have the support of their families.

What does it mean to be “questioning?”

It’s normal for very young children to experiment with gender identity, but “questioning” in this context refers to older kids and young adults who are in the process of exploring their gender identity and/or sexual orientation. For young people, questioning both who they’re attracted to (their sexual orientation) and what gender they identify with (male, female or another gender), has become more and more common. A recent poll shows that about 1 in 6 Americans aged 18–23 identify as something other than heterosexual. Kids who are trying to figure out where they fit along these spectrums are often referred to as “questioning.”

For more on the terminology that young people often use to describe sexual orientation and gender identity, see the helpful glossary from the Human Rights Campaign.

What helps kids when they are in a questioning mode?

Mental health experts stress the importance of giving kids who are questioning unconditional support at home. That means explicitly letting your child know that you love them, accept them, and stand by them — even if you’re confused or upset by the thoughts and feelings they’re having.

Most kids are probably not going to come right out and tell you that they’re having questions about who they’re attracted to or that they don’t feel right in the body they were born in. Being comfortable enough to reveal these feelings to their friends or parents or even themselves can be a long and difficult process. Even when parents pick up on signs from their kids — things they say, changes in the way they dress, things they post on social media, reports from other parents — you shouldn’t push your kids to talk about it.

So instead of saying something like, “Do you think you might be gay?” or “I’ve noticed that you’ve been dressing differently,” it’s better to check in with open-ended questions and let them know that you’re there if they need you. You might say: “I hope you know that I’m here for you no matter what, and that you can talk to me about anything that’s going on.” You can also let kids know that if they’d rather talk to someone outside the family, you can arrange for them to meet with a therapist.

It’s best to keep the conversation light and try not to hover. Check in once a month. Give them the chance to let you know if there’s anything they’d like to talk about. Teenagers need the space to figure things out on their own. But it helps to know that they have the support of a parent or caregiver.

Emphasize acceptance

Even without discussing the issue with your child directly, you can take steps to make it clear to them that your family is accepting of all gender identities and sexual orientations. This could include making a real effort to use other people’s correct pronouns, talking openly and without judgment about any non-straight or gender nonconforming people in your family’s life, and even talking about the media you watch together. You may see a character on TV coming out to their family and take the opportunity to say something like, “It’s so great they felt comfortable coming out to their dad. I hope you feel you could come to me if you had questions of your own or wanted to talk to me about your gender or sexuality.”

When a child does start to share ideas about their identity, it’s important for parents to respect those ideas and meet kids where they are. Start by being really open to what they have to say; just hear them out without passing judgment. It may be awkward at first, but that’s okay. The important part is to listen, let them know that you take their feelings seriously and follow their lead.

That includes using the pronouns or names that they ask you to use, even if they’re still figuring out what works for them. “Wherever I meet a family or child with these concerns we use the words that the teens choose,” says Emma Woodward, PhD, a clinical psychologist at the Child Mind Institute.

Risk for mental health challenges

Just because your child is having questioning thoughts doesn’t mean they’re upset about it. But these thoughts and feelings can cause mental health challenges like depression and anxiety, and LGBTQ+ kids are at higher risk for these disorders, especially if they feel rejected by family members or peers.

It’s important for parents to notice when a child seems constantly worried or withdrawn, doesn’t want to see friends, isn’t sleeping or eating well or has lost interest in activities they usually enjoy. These are signs of mental health challenges that may or may not be related to gender or sexual identity. If these symptoms last more than a few weeks and especially if they seem to be getting worse, it may be time to get your child help from a therapist.

A child who seems to have a high level of distress around gender issues might be experiencing something called gender dysphoria. Kids with gender dysphoria feel strongly that they are the wrong gender, and those feelings can cause an intense need to change genders.

It’s important to note that being transgender is not a mental health disorder. And not all transgender people experience gender dysphoria. But kids who do have gender dysphoria are at an increased risk of suicidal thinking and behavior, especially if family and friends do not accept them as the gender they identify with. Treatment can make a big difference for kids with gender dysphoria, and therapists can help families navigate options for kids who are considering transitioning to a different gender.

Dealing with bullying

Kids who are questioning may also be targets for bullying. Whether or not your child is openly discussing their gender and sexual identity with you, it’s important to be ready to advocate for them. If you suspect bullying, start by talking with your child about what they’re experiencing and how they want to handle it. It’s best to get the child’s consent before talking to their teacher about bullying. At the same time, you can let them know that it’s important to stand up for themselves and that you’re ready to back them up: “We don’t have to do it right away, but we might need to talk to your teacher if this keeps happening.” Later, you might consider going to the principal if your concerns aren’t addressed after working with the teacher.

Even if you don’t have specific concerns about bullying, it may be helpful to bring up the subject at your next parent-teacher conference.

How to handle your own challenging feelings

It’s normal to experience upsetting feelings of your own if your child is questioning their gender or sexuality. You might feel anxious about the challenges your child could face, how to share news about their identity with extended family, or how to support a child whose identity is different from your own. In particular, parents of kids who are questioning their gender identity might feel a sense of mourning for the child they imagined they would have — the daughter who was going to walk down the aisle in a white dress, for example.

These feelings are all valid, but parents should try to avoid letting them get in the way of supporting their child. Learning more about LGBTQ+ identities and experiences can help, and so can joining a support group for parents for kids in similar situations. PFLAG, an organization for LGBTQ+ people and their loved ones and allies, is a great place to start.

You might also consider working with a therapist of your own to process your feelings separately from your child. “That kind of work especially is important for parents to do on their own, with their own provider,” Dr. Woodward says. Parents’ feelings “can cause a child to feel a lot of guilt and shame. Those are complicated feelings, but it’s not the kid’s responsibility to manage their parents’ emotional responses.”

Finally, it’s helpful to remember that questioning kids’ identities may evolve as they continue to explore their gender and sexuality, so parents shouldn’t expect that the labels or pronouns kids choose for themselves will necessarily be fixed. The goal isn’t to get the child to settle into an identity, but rather to support them through as much exploration as feels right to them. “It really is about following their lead with how they identify and what language they’re comfortable with,” says Dr. Woodward. All parents want their kids to feel safe, happy and loved. And being supportive, open and informed are the best ways for parents to help questioning kids have that experience.

Photo by Anna Shvets on Pexels.com
https://standingabovethecrowd.com/james-donaldson-on-mental-health-how-to-support-kids-who-are-questioning/

James Donaldson on Mental Health - How to Support Kids Who Are Questioning

James Donaldson on Mental Health - How to Support Kids Who Are Questioning

Helping young people navigate gender identity and sexual orientation

Photo by Anna Shvets on Pexels.com

Writer: Juliann Garey

Clinical Expert: Emma C Woodward, PhD

What You'll Learn

- What does it mean for a child to be questioning?

- How can families support kids who are questioning their gender identity or sexual orientation?

- What mental health risks do questioning kids face?

- Quick Read

- Full Article

- What does it mean to be “questioning?”

- What helps kids when they are in a questioning mode?

- Emphasize acceptance

- Risk for mental health challenges

- Dealing with bullying

- How to handle your own challenging feelings

It’s common for kids to question their gender identity and sexual orientation, but the process can be confusing and scary. Young people who are dealing with these kinds of questions do best when their families support them.

If your child comes to you with questions or concerns about their gender identity or sexual orientation, the most important thing is to listen and let them know that you love them and support them no matter what. If you think that your child might be questioning, let them know that you’re always there if they want to talk. Then, let them take the lead, and don’t push them to talk before they’re ready.

It also helps to let your child know that your family accepts all gender identities and sexual orientations. Speak openly about non-straight people in your life and use people’s correct pronouns. And if your child wants to use a different name or pronouns, take them seriously and do as they ask.

Not all kids who are questioning are upset about it, but LGBTQ+ kids are at higher risk for challenges like depression and anxiety, especially if they feel rejected by family or friends. Keep an eye out for big changes in mood or behavior. Kids who are very distressed about their gender identity may also be experiencing a mental health issue called gender dysphoria. Gender dysphoria comes with an increased risk of suicidal thinking and behavior, especially when kids don’t feel accepted, but treatment can help a lot.

It’s normal to experience anxiety or sadness of your own if your child is questioning. Those feelings are valid, but it’s important to cope with them separately from your child and continue supporting them no matter how you feel. A therapist of your own or a support organization like PFLAG can help.

In recent years, the way kids and teens think about gender and sexuality has moved beyond the simple binaries of male/female and gay/straight. This gives them a lot more flexibility to understand and express their gender and sexual orientation in ways that feel right to them. But sorting out these feelings and thoughts can be confusing and sometimes scary — for kids and their families. And questioning kids do best when they have the support of their families.

What does it mean to be “questioning?”

It’s normal for very young children to experiment with gender identity, but “questioning” in this context refers to older kids and young adults who are in the process of exploring their gender identity and/or sexual orientation. For young people, questioning both who they’re attracted to (their sexual orientation) and what gender they identify with (male, female or another gender), has become more and more common. A recent poll shows that about 1 in 6 Americans aged 18–23 identify as something other than heterosexual. Kids who are trying to figure out where they fit along these spectrums are often referred to as “questioning.”

For more on the terminology that young people often use to describe sexual orientation and gender identity, see the helpful glossary from the Human Rights Campaign.

What helps kids when they are in a questioning mode?

Mental health experts stress the importance of giving kids who are questioning unconditional support at home. That means explicitly letting your child know that you love them, accept them, and stand by them — even if you’re confused or upset by the thoughts and feelings they’re having.

Most kids are probably not going to come right out and tell you that they’re having questions about who they’re attracted to or that they don’t feel right in the body they were born in. Being comfortable enough to reveal these feelings to their friends or parents or even themselves can be a long and difficult process. Even when parents pick up on signs from their kids — things they say, changes in the way they dress, things they post on social media, reports from other parents — you shouldn’t push your kids to talk about it.

So instead of saying something like, “Do you think you might be gay?” or “I’ve noticed that you’ve been dressing differently,” it’s better to check in with open-ended questions and let them know that you’re there if they need you. You might say: “I hope you know that I’m here for you no matter what, and that you can talk to me about anything that’s going on.” You can also let kids know that if they’d rather talk to someone outside the family, you can arrange for them to meet with a therapist.

It’s best to keep the conversation light and try not to hover. Check in once a month. Give them the chance to let you know if there’s anything they’d like to talk about. Teenagers need the space to figure things out on their own. But it helps to know that they have the support of a parent or caregiver.

Emphasize acceptance

Even without discussing the issue with your child directly, you can take steps to make it clear to them that your family is accepting of all gender identities and sexual orientations. This could include making a real effort to use other people’s correct pronouns, talking openly and without judgment about any non-straight or gender nonconforming people in your family’s life, and even talking about the media you watch together. You may see a character on TV coming out to their family and take the opportunity to say something like, “It’s so great they felt comfortable coming out to their dad. I hope you feel you could come to me if you had questions of your own or wanted to talk to me about your gender or sexuality.”

When a child does start to share ideas about their identity, it’s important for parents to respect those ideas and meet kids where they are. Start by being really open to what they have to say; just hear them out without passing judgment. It may be awkward at first, but that’s okay. The important part is to listen, let them know that you take their feelings seriously and follow their lead.

That includes using the pronouns or names that they ask you to use, even if they’re still figuring out what works for them. “Wherever I meet a family or child with these concerns we use the words that the teens choose,” says Emma Woodward, PhD, a clinical psychologist at the Child Mind Institute.

Risk for mental health challenges

Just because your child is having questioning thoughts doesn’t mean they’re upset about it. But these thoughts and feelings can cause mental health challenges like depression and anxiety, and LGBTQ+ kids are at higher risk for these disorders, especially if they feel rejected by family members or peers.

It’s important for parents to notice when a child seems constantly worried or withdrawn, doesn’t want to see friends, isn’t sleeping or eating well or has lost interest in activities they usually enjoy. These are signs of mental health challenges that may or may not be related to gender or sexual identity. If these symptoms last more than a few weeks and especially if they seem to be getting worse, it may be time to get your child help from a therapist.

A child who seems to have a high level of distress around gender issues might be experiencing something called gender dysphoria. Kids with gender dysphoria feel strongly that they are the wrong gender, and those feelings can cause an intense need to change genders.

It’s important to note that being transgender is not a mental health disorder. And not all transgender people experience gender dysphoria. But kids who do have gender dysphoria are at an increased risk of suicidal thinking and behavior, especially if family and friends do not accept them as the gender they identify with. Treatment can make a big difference for kids with gender dysphoria, and therapists can help families navigate options for kids who are considering transitioning to a different gender.

Dealing with bullying

Kids who are questioning may also be targets for bullying. Whether or not your child is openly discussing their gender and sexual identity with you, it’s important to be ready to advocate for them. If you suspect bullying, start by talking with your child about what they’re experiencing and how they want to handle it. It’s best to get the child’s consent before talking to their teacher about bullying. At the same time, you can let them know that it’s important to stand up for themselves and that you’re ready to back them up: “We don’t have to do it right away, but we might need to talk to your teacher if this keeps happening.” Later, you might consider going to the principal if your concerns aren’t addressed after working with the teacher.

Even if you don’t have specific concerns about bullying, it may be helpful to bring up the subject at your next parent-teacher conference.

How to handle your own challenging feelings

It’s normal to experience upsetting feelings of your own if your child is questioning their gender or sexuality. You might feel anxious about the challenges your child could face, how to share news about their identity with extended family, or how to support a child whose identity is different from your own. In particular, parents of kids who are questioning their gender identity might feel a sense of mourning for the child they imagined they would have — the daughter who was going to walk down the aisle in a white dress, for example.

These feelings are all valid, but parents should try to avoid letting them get in the way of supporting their child. Learning more about LGBTQ+ identities and experiences can help, and so can joining a support group for parents for kids in similar situations. PFLAG, an organization for LGBTQ+ people and their loved ones and allies, is a great place to start.

You might also consider working with a therapist of your own to process your feelings separately from your child. “That kind of work especially is important for parents to do on their own, with their own provider,” Dr. Woodward says. Parents’ feelings “can cause a child to feel a lot of guilt and shame. Those are complicated feelings, but it’s not the kid’s responsibility to manage their parents’ emotional responses.”

Finally, it’s helpful to remember that questioning kids’ identities may evolve as they continue to explore their gender and sexuality, so parents shouldn’t expect that the labels or pronouns kids choose for themselves will necessarily be fixed. The goal isn’t to get the child to settle into an identity, but rather to support them through as much exploration as feels right to them. “It really is about following their lead with how they identify and what language they’re comfortable with,” says Dr. Woodward. All parents want their kids to feel safe, happy and loved. And being supportive, open and informed are the best ways for parents to help questioning kids have that experience.

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