Suicide is the second-leading cause of death for teens and young adults in the United States. Approximately one in five children and youths experience a serious mental health concern associated with trauma, social isolation or bullying, yet only 20% of them receive help.

Get Help for a Young Person

Knowing the warning signs and how to help can help save lives. Warning signs can include:

- Self-destructive behavior, such as increased drug or alcohol use

- Anxiety, agitation, irritability, aggression, recklessness

- Sleeplessness or sleeping too much

- Depression or mood swings

- Loss of interest

- Withdrawing from family and friends

- Talking about dying or wanting to die

TEEN SUICIDE IS PREVENTABLE

?If a young person in your life is showing signs of distress, do not hesitate to ask them whether they’re having suicidal thoughts. Studies show that asking them directly about suicide will not increase their risk or plant the idea. Instead, it shows that you care enough to offer support. Listen and engage in a caring, concerned, supportive manner.

Be a Hero for Zero Youth Suicides. If you or someone you know is thinking about suicide, call or chat 988.

You can help save a life. Get help for a young person in your life who may be struggling with a mental health issue. Call 866-629-3471 or visit us at midwest-center.com to learn more.

#James Donaldson notes:Welcome to the “next chapter” of my life… being a voice and an advocate for #mentalhealthawarenessandsuicideprevention, especially pertaining to our younger generation of students and student-athletes.Getting men to speak up and reach out for help and assistance is one of my passions. Us men need to not suffer in silence or drown our sorrows in alcohol, hang out at bars and strip joints, or get involved with drug use.Having gone through a recent bout of #depression and #suicidalthoughts myself, I realize now, that I can make a huge difference in the lives of so many by sharing my story, and by sharing various resources I come across as I work in this space.  #http://bit.ly/JamesMentalHealthArticleFind out more about the work I do on my 501c3 non-profit foundationwebsite www.yourgiftoflife.org Order your copy of James Donaldson's latest book,#CelebratingYourGiftofLife: From The Verge of Suicide to a Life of Purpose and Joy

www.celebratingyourgiftoflife.com

Link for 40 Habits Signupbit.ly/40HabitsofMentalHealth

If you'd like to follow and receive my daily blog in to your inbox, just click on it with Follow It. Here's the link https://follow.it/james-donaldson-s-standing-above-the-crowd-s-blog-a-view-from-above-on-things-that-make-the-world-go-round?action=followPub
https://standingabovethecrowd.com/james-donaldson-on-mental-health-adolescent-suicide-prevention-you-can-help-save-a-young-life/

James Donaldson on Mental Health - Adolescent Suicide Prevention: You can help save a young life

Suicide is the second-leading cause of death for teens and young adults in the United States. Approximately one in five children and youths experience a serious mental health concern associated with trauma, social isolation or bullying, yet only 20% of them receive help.

Get Help for a Young Person

Knowing the warning signs and how to help can help save lives. Warning signs can include:

- Self-destructive behavior, such as increased drug or alcohol use
- Anxiety, agitation, irritability, aggression, recklessness
- Sleeplessness or sleeping too much
- Depression or mood swings
- Loss of interest
- Withdrawing from family and friends
- Talking about dying or wanting to die

TEEN SUICIDE IS PREVENTABLE

?If a young person in your life is showing signs of distress, do not hesitate to ask them whether they’re having suicidal thoughts. Studies show that asking them directly about suicide will not increase their risk or plant the idea. Instead, it shows that you care enough to offer support. Listen and engage in a caring, concerned, supportive manner.

Be a Hero for Zero Youth Suicides. If you or someone you know is thinking about suicide, call or chat 988.

You can help save a life. Get help for a young person in your life who may be struggling with a mental health issue. Call 866-629-3471 or visit us at midwest-center.com to learn more.

#James Donaldson notes:
Welcome to the “next chapter” of my life… being a voice and an advocate for #mentalhealthawarenessandsuicideprevention, especially pertaining to our younger generation of students and student-athletes.
Getting men to speak up and reach out for help and assistance is one of my passions. Us men need to not suffer in silence or drown our sorrows in alcohol, hang out at bars and strip joints, or get involved with drug use.
Having gone through a recent bout of #depression and #suicidalthoughts myself, I realize now, that I can make a huge difference in the lives of so many by sharing my story, and by sharing various resources I come across as I work in this space.  #http://bit.ly/JamesMentalHealthArticle
Find out more about the work I do on my 501c3 non-profit foundation
website www.yourgiftoflife.org Order your copy of James Donaldson's latest book,
#CelebratingYourGiftofLife: From The Verge of Suicide to a Life of Purpose and Joy

www.celebratingyourgiftoflife.com

Link for 40 Habits Signup
bit.ly/40HabitsofMentalHealth

If you'd like to follow and receive my daily blog in to your inbox, just click on it with Follow It. Here's the link https://follow.it/james-donaldson-s-standing-above-the-crowd-s-blog-a-view-from-above-on-things-that-make-the-world-go-round?action=followPub

https://standingabovethecrowd.com/james-donaldson-on-mental-health-adolescent-suicide-prevention-you-can-help-save-a-young-life/

James Donaldson notes:

Welcome to the "next chapter" of my life… being a voice and an advocate for mental health awareness and suicide prevention, especially pertaining to our younger generation of students and student-athletes.

Getting men to speak up and reach out for help and assistance is one of my passions. Us men need to not suffer in silence or drown our sorrows in alcohol, hang out at bars and strip joints, or get involved with drug use.

Having gone through a recent bout of depression and suicidal thoughts myself, I realize now, that I can make a huge difference in the lives of so many by sharing my story, and by sharing various resources I come across as I work in this space. http://bit.ly/JamesMentalHealthArticle  

The number of lives lost to suicide is shocking and the impact on survivors is devastating. Indeed, friends and family of those who take their lives often struggle for years trying to make sense of the loss — sometimes blaming themselves for not saving their loved one.

And the children of those who die by suicide are at increased risk for mental health challenges themselves, given the trauma and confusion they experience when a parent seemingly “chooses” to abandon them.

We tend to accept some suicide as unavoidable and inevitable. Many people believe that mental illness, depression and addiction are conditions that cannot be prevented, addressed or effectively treated. But mental health conditions and substance use disorders can be treated even if we can’t always prevent them. People can — and do — heal, recover and live productive lives despite the challenges. It’s time to normalize the need to care for our mental health. Suicide can be prevented.

An uphill battle against disturbing trends

In order to reverse current trends, however, we have much work to do. According to a recent Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) report, more than 47,000 people aged 10 and older died by suicide in 2016 — reflecting an increased suicide rate of 30 percent since 2000.

Perhaps the most concerning finding is that suicide is now the second leading cause of death for individuals 10 to 34 years old and the fourth leading cause for those 35 to 44. For those 10 to 24, only accidents caused more deaths, making suicide a greater cause of death for youth than cancer.

More on this subject:

'We are losing too many Americans': Suicides and drug overdoses push down US life expectancy

Suicide kills 47,000 men, women and children a year. Society shrugs.

Suicide rate up 33% in less than 20 years, yet funding lags behind other top killers

Suicide is not only a concern in the United States. The World Health Organization reports that approximately 800,000 people die by suicide every year, which is one person every 40 seconds. Globally, suicide is the second leading cause of death among individuals 15 to 29 years old. 

Fortunately, the culture of mental health is changing. We are starting to talk about mental health, addiction and suicide more openly and honestly. Even our language is changing to reflect new attitudes. We are moving away from saying that someone “committed” suicide — as if it was a rational act or a crime. Obituaries often note that an individual “died by suicide” or “lost their battle with depression”. These are positive changes but we can do more to ensure that those in need seek and receive the help they deserve.

Solving the mental health crisis begins with us 

In order to do more, we have to recognize a few realities. 

There simply aren’t enough trained professionals to address the mental health crisis we are facing. There are only approximately 500,000 mental health professionals in the U.S. Given that 1-in-5 adults (44.7 million people) have a diagnosable mental health condition, it is unlikely that we will have enough professionals any time soon to meet our needs. But this shouldn’t stop us from leveraging those we have more effectively. We are working on that.

Further, our current health care system dramatically limits access to care for those most in need of treatment — but this shouldn’t stop us from developing support systems and technology-based solutions to reach those who are suffering.

Related columns:

Whispering about suicide won't solve the problem

Stepping back from the edge: How I found hope again after my mom's suicide

I lost my husband to cancer. I’m forever thankful he didn’t choose assisted suicide.

In our case, our work together is focusing on culture change — so that those in need are able to seek and receive the care they deserve. We know the need for this care first-hand. Talinda's late husband, the musician and Linkin Park frontman Chester Bennington, lost sight of the love and support that was available to him — but his death will not be in vain. His passing — and the recent losses of other well-known individualsto suicide —  is a catalyst that is encouraging a national conversation about emotional well-being and mental health.

Rather than only looking outside ourselves for solutions to the mental health needs in our communities, it’s time to recognize that taking care of our own mental health is the most important thing we can each do for ourselves and those we love. Attending to our own emotional well-being ensures that we are in a much better place to help those we love when they struggle.

It isn’t easy to acknowledge our vulnerabilities and traumas or accept our limitations. It isn’t easy to ask for or accept help. But we all have mental health — we have all suffered emotionally and some of us suffer terribly. We all have moments when we aren’t emotionally healthy. These moments can be filled with shame and we can suffer alone or we can share our stories with each other — of struggle, hope and recovery. And we can teach our children how to talk about their emotional pain as well as their emotional health.

If we change how we deal with our own mental health, maybe those who are most vulnerable, most afraid and most despairing, will know that they can turn to us during the darkest times. They will recognize that we can — and will — be here for each other, no matter what. Perhaps then suicide will cease to be a viable option.

Throughout Chester’s life, he saved lives with his music and philanthropy. In response to his death, we can save lives by spotlighting the urgent need — and the opportunity — for change. It begins with each of us.  

Barbara Van Dahlen is the founder and president of Give an Hour and The Campaign to Change Direction. Talinda Bennington co-founder of 320 Changes Direction and executive adviser to The Campaign to Change Direction.
https://standingabovethecrowd.com/james-donaldson-on-mental-health-hows-your-mental-health-ending-the-suicide-epidemic-begins-by-caring-for-ourselves/

James Donaldson on Mental Health - How's Your Mental Health? Ending the Suicide Epidemic Begins by Caring for Ourselves.

James Donaldson notes:

Welcome to the "next chapter" of my life… being a voice and an advocate for mental health awareness and suicide prevention, especially pertaining to our younger generation of students and student-athletes.

Getting men to speak up and reach out for help and assistance is one of my passions. Us men need to not suffer in silence or drown our sorrows in alcohol, hang out at bars and strip joints, or get involved with drug use.

Having gone through a recent bout of depression and suicidal thoughts myself, I realize now, that I can make a huge difference in the lives of so many by sharing my story, and by sharing various resources I come across as I work in this space. http://bit.ly/JamesMentalHealthArticle

 

 

The number of lives lost to suicide is shocking and the impact on survivors is devastating. Indeed, friends and family of those who take their lives often struggle for years trying to make sense of the loss — sometimes blaming themselves for not saving their loved one.

And the children of those who die by suicide are at increased risk for mental health challenges themselves, given the trauma and confusion they experience when a parent seemingly “chooses” to abandon them.

We tend to accept some suicide as unavoidable and inevitable. Many people believe that mental illness, depression and addiction are conditions that cannot be prevented, addressed or effectively treated. But mental health conditions and substance use disorders can be treated even if we can’t always prevent them. People can — and do — heal, recover and live productive lives despite the challenges. It’s time to normalize the need to care for our mental health. Suicide can be prevented.

An uphill battle against disturbing trends

In order to reverse current trends, however, we have much work to do. According to a recent Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) report, more than 47,000 people aged 10 and older died by suicide in 2016 — reflecting an increased suicide rate of 30 percent since 2000.

Perhaps the most concerning finding is that suicide is now the second leading cause of death for individuals 10 to 34 years old and the fourth leading cause for those 35 to 44. For those 10 to 24, only accidents caused more deaths, making suicide a greater cause of death for youth than cancer.

More on this subject:

'We are losing too many Americans': Suicides and drug overdoses push down US life expectancy

Suicide kills 47,000 men, women and children a year. Society shrugs.

Suicide rate up 33% in less than 20 years, yet funding lags behind other top killers

Suicide is not only a concern in the United States. The World Health Organization reports that approximately 800,000 people die by suicide every year, which is one person every 40 seconds. Globally, suicide is the second leading cause of death among individuals 15 to 29 years old. 

Fortunately, the culture of mental health is changing. We are starting to talk about mental health, addiction and suicide more openly and honestly. Even our language is changing to reflect new attitudes. We are moving away from saying that someone “committed” suicide — as if it was a rational act or a crime. Obituaries often note that an individual “died by suicide” or “lost their battle with depression”. These are positive changes but we can do more to ensure that those in need seek and receive the help they deserve.

Solving the mental health crisis begins with us 

In order to do more, we have to recognize a few realities. 

There simply aren’t enough trained professionals to address the mental health crisis we are facing. There are only approximately 500,000 mental health professionals in the U.S. Given that 1-in-5 adults (44.7 million people) have a diagnosable mental health condition, it is unlikely that we will have enough professionals any time soon to meet our needs. But this shouldn’t stop us from leveraging those we have more effectively. We are working on that.

Further, our current health care system dramatically limits access to care for those most in need of treatment — but this shouldn’t stop us from developing support systems and technology-based solutions to reach those who are suffering.

Related columns:

Whispering about suicide won't solve the problem

Stepping back from the edge: How I found hope again after my mom's suicide

I lost my husband to cancer. I’m forever thankful he didn’t choose assisted suicide.

In our case, our work together is focusing on culture change — so that those in need are able to seek and receive the care they deserve. We know the need for this care first-hand. Talinda's late husband, the musician and Linkin Park frontman Chester Bennington, lost sight of the love and support that was available to him — but his death will not be in vain. His passing — and the recent losses of other well-known individualsto suicide —  is a catalyst that is encouraging a national conversation about emotional well-being and mental health.

Rather than only looking outside ourselves for solutions to the mental health needs in our communities, it’s time to recognize that taking care of our own mental health is the most important thing we can each do for ourselves and those we love. Attending to our own emotional well-being ensures that we are in a much better place to help those we love when they struggle.

It isn’t easy to acknowledge our vulnerabilities and traumas or accept our limitations. It isn’t easy to ask for or accept help. But we all have mental health — we have all suffered emotionally and some of us suffer terribly. We all have moments when we aren’t emotionally healthy. These moments can be filled with shame and we can suffer alone or we can share our stories with each other — of struggle, hope and recovery. And we can teach our children how to talk about their emotional pain as well as their emotional health.

If we change how we deal with our own mental health, maybe those who are most vulnerable, most afraid and most despairing, will know that they can turn to us during the darkest times. They will recognize that we can — and will — be here for each other, no matter what. Perhaps then suicide will cease to be a viable option.

Throughout Chester’s life, he saved lives with his music and philanthropy. In response to his death, we can save lives by spotlighting the urgent need — and the opportunity — for change. It begins with each of us.  

Barbara Van Dahlen is the founder and president of Give an Hour and The Campaign to Change Direction. Talinda Bennington co-founder of 320 Changes Direction and executive adviser to The Campaign to Change Direction.

https://standingabovethecrowd.com/james-donaldson-on-mental-health-hows-your-mental-health-ending-the-suicide-epidemic-begins-by-caring-for-ourselves/

A new CDC report highlights slight improvements in teen mental health and concerning increases in school violence, bullying, and school refusal among high school students.

By Melanie Wolkoff Wachsman

The mental health of U.S. high school students is trending upward after a decade of unprecedented  depression, violence, and suicidality among adolescents. Still, the youth mental health crisis is far from over, as more teens are experiencing school-based violence and school absenteeism, according to a new report by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) comparing 10-year trends and data from the 2021-2023 Youth Risk Behavior Survey (YRBS).1

Among the 20,000 public and private high school students surveyed, 40% said they experienced persistent sadness or hopelessness in 2023, down from 42% in 2021. Suicidality rates also fell slightly: One-fifth of students seriously considered suicide, compared to 22% two years ago.

Survey results broken down by students’ sexual and gender identity revealed that depressive symptoms remained stable or declined in most subgroups:

- 65% of LGBTQ+ students experienced sadness or hopelessness, down from 69%.

- 53% of female students experienced sadness or hopelessness, down from 57%.

- 41% of LGBTQ+ students seriously considered suicide, down from 45%.

- 28% of male students experienced sadness or hopelessness, unchanged from 2021.

- 27% of teen girls seriously considered suicide, down from 30%.

- 14% of male students seriously considered suicide, unchanged from 2021.

The Mental Health Status of Girls

Though the changes appear small, these incremental decreases represent potentially significant changes in teen mental health, especially for girls. Just last year, the CDC reported that nearly 60% of teen girls “were suffering through an unprecedented wave of sadness and trauma,” which was double the rate reported a decade ago and twice the rate in boys.2

Girls with diagnosed and undiagnosed ADHD are at a much higher risk for depression, suicidal thoughts and behaviors, and sexual violence than their neurotypical peers. According to the Berkeley Girls ADHD Longitudinal Study (BGALS), girls with combined type ADHD are three to four times more likely to attempt suicide than their neurotypical peers, and they are 2.5 times more likely to engage in non-suicidal self-injuring behavior.3

“Girls and women with untreated ADHD are at double the risk for engaging in self-harm and significantly more likely to attempt suicide,” said Julia Schechter, Ph.D., of the Duke Center for Girls and Women with ADHD.

A 2022 ADDitude survey of 1,187 caregivers shared similar findings: Eighteen percent of girls with ADHD had engaged in self-harm within the past two or three years compared to 9% of boys.

“The emotional toll of ADHD on teen girls is profound — especially when it isn’t diagnosed early,” said Lotta Borg Skoglund, M.D., Ph.D., during the 2024 ADDitude webinar, “The Emotional Lives of Girls with ADHD.” “And, for teens who menstruate, we can’t ignore fluctuating hormones, which invariably affect emotions, behaviors, and functioning. Is it any wonder that so many teen girls and young women say that regulating emotions and energy levels are their biggest ADHD-related problems?”

“Being a teen girl sucks. Being a teen sucks. ADHD intensifies everything,” said an ADDitude reader from Kansas.

“Schools should do a better job acknowledging the needs of teen girls,” said an ADDitude reader from Florida. “There needs to be better support to accommodate their needs that filters into clubs, after-school sports, etc.”

The improved state of adolescent mental health, especially for girls, is encouraging, but it is no cause for celebration. “As seen in 2021, female students are faring more poorly than male students across almost all measures of substance use, experiences of violence, mental health, and suicidal thoughts and behaviors,” the CDC report stated.

Disparities persist among students who identify as (LGBTQ+). The report found that LGBTQ+ students still experience more violence, signs of poor mental health, and suicidal thoughts and behaviors than their male, cisgender, and heterosexual peers.

#James Donaldson notes:Welcome to the “next chapter” of my life… being a voice and an advocate for #mentalhealthawarenessandsuicideprevention, especially pertaining to our younger generation of students and student-athletes.Getting men to speak up and reach out for help and assistance is one of my passions. Us men need to not suffer in silence or drown our sorrows in alcohol, hang out at bars and strip joints, or get involved with drug use.Having gone through a recent bout of #depression and #suicidalthoughts myself, I realize now, that I can make a huge difference in the lives of so many by sharing my story, and by sharing various resources I come across as I work in this space.  #http://bit.ly/JamesMentalHealthArticleFind out more about the work I do on my 501c3 non-profit foundationwebsite www.yourgiftoflife.org Order your copy of James Donaldson's latest book,#CelebratingYourGiftofLife: From The Verge of Suicide to a Life of Purpose and Joy

www.celebratingyourgiftoflife.com

Link for 40 Habits Signupbit.ly/40HabitsofMentalHealth

If you'd like to follow and receive my daily blog in to your inbox, just click on it with Follow It. Here's the link https://follow.it/james-donaldson-s-standing-above-the-crowd-s-blog-a-view-from-above-on-things-that-make-the-world-go-round?action=followPub

Rise in School Violence and Bullying

“These data show that we’ve made some progress in tackling these issues in recent years, which proves that they are not insurmountable,” said Kathleen Ethier, Ph.D., director of the CDC’s Division of Adolescent and School Health. “However, there’s still much work ahead.”

Returning to school was a welcome relief for caregivers and students after the COVID-19 pandemic. However, in-person classes have created more opportunities for physical encounters — and consequently more school violence and bullying, the CDC says. From 2021 to 2023, bullying in school grew from 15% to 19%. In 2023, 16% of students experienced electronic bullying via text, Instagram, SnapChat, or other social media channels.

“School bullying remains a serious problem in U.S. schools, particularly for students with ADHD, autism, learning differences, and other comorbidities,” said Rosanna Breaux, Ph.D., during the 2023 ADDitude webinar, “Teen Bullying Solutions: Help for Neurodivergent Adolescents.”

In a 2022 ADDitude survey, 61% of more than 1,000 caregivers said their neurodivergent child was bullied at school. Kids were also bullied through social media (32%), on the school bus (30%), and via text messages (27%).

“My girl is anxious and worries about bullying, girls pranking her, and kids saying she is ‘fat,’” shared an ADDitude reader from South Carolina.

Upward trends in injuries with a weapon on school property and sexual violence among high school students are cause for concern. LGBTQ+ students reported significantly higher rates of sexual violence than their cisgender and heterosexual peers. Of the 9% of high school students who had ever been physically forced to have sexual intercourse, 17% identified as LGBTQ+ compared to 13% of female and 4% of male students. In addition, 11% of high school students said they were forced to perform sexual activities (including kissing, touching, etc.); of those, one-fifth identified as LGBTQ+.

Increases in School Refusal Behaviors

Alongside bullying and violence, rates of school avoidance have risen sharply as well. According to the CDC,

- School absenteeism due to students feeling unsafe at school or traveling to and from school rose from 9% to 13%.

- Female students who missed school because of safety concerns increased from 10% to 16%.

- Male students who missed school because of safety concerns increased from 7% to 10%.

“It’s so important that children get treatment for school refusal behaviors,” said Alana Cooperman, LCSW, senior social worker for the Anxiety Disorders Center at the Child Mind Institute during the recent ADDitude webinar, “School Avoidance & Refusal: Root Causes and Strategies for Parents and Educators.”

School refusal can begin with negative self-talk and quickly spiral to self-harm or suicidality. The long-term effects of school avoidance can lead to declining grades, peer alienation, and increased tension at home. “These struggles don’t go away,” Cooperman said. “They follow children as they become adults. We see increases in anxiety and depression and potential substance abuse as adults.”

“Our girls are not okay,” said an ADDitude reader from California. “My 11-year-old daughter with ADHD was the victim of sexual harassment at her school. As a result, she developed PTSD. She had extreme emotional dysregulation, experienced suicidal ideation, and refused to go to school out of fear. She has not returned to her school since.”

Cooperman recommends treating school refusal behaviors with cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) and that caregivers work collaboratively with their child’s school and therapist to develop a comprehensive treatment plan.

Mental Health Resources

The CDC recommends the following programs to help schools and communities improve adolescent health, well-being, and safety.

- What Works in Schools

- Promoting Mental Health and Well-Being in Schools: An Action Guide for School and District Leaders

- Violence Prevention in Practice: | VetoViolence (cdc.gov)

- Youth Violence Prevention Resource for Action (cdc.gov)

Get Help

Suicide &Crisis Lifeline: Call or Text 988988lifeline.org

National Sexual Assault Helpline: 1-800-656-HOPE

National Substance Abuse Helpline: 1-800-662-HELP

Stop Bullying

Contact the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline if you are experiencing mental health-related distress or are worried about a loved one who may need crisis support.

If you or someone you know may be considering suicide or be in crisis, call or text 988 to reach the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline
https://standingabovethecrowd.com/james-donaldson-on-mental-health-report-teen-mental-health-is-improving-despite-growing-school-violence/

James Donaldson on Mental Health - Report: Teen Mental Health Is Improving, Despite Growing School Violence

A new CDC report highlights slight improvements in teen mental health and concerning increases in school violence, bullying, and school refusal among high school students.

By Melanie Wolkoff Wachsman

The mental health of U.S. high school students is trending upward after a decade of unprecedented  depression, violence, and suicidality among adolescents. Still, the youth mental health crisis is far from over, as more teens are experiencing school-based violence and school absenteeism, according to a new report by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) comparing 10-year trends and data from the 2021-2023 Youth Risk Behavior Survey (YRBS).1

Among the 20,000 public and private high school students surveyed, 40% said they experienced persistent sadness or hopelessness in 2023, down from 42% in 2021. Suicidality rates also fell slightly: One-fifth of students seriously considered suicide, compared to 22% two years ago.

Survey results broken down by students’ sexual and gender identity revealed that depressive symptoms remained stable or declined in most subgroups:

- 65% of LGBTQ+ students experienced sadness or hopelessness, down from 69%.
- 53% of female students experienced sadness or hopelessness, down from 57%.
- 41% of LGBTQ+ students seriously considered suicide, down from 45%.
- 28% of male students experienced sadness or hopelessness, unchanged from 2021.
- 27% of teen girls seriously considered suicide, down from 30%.
- 14% of male students seriously considered suicide, unchanged from 2021.

The Mental Health Status of Girls

Though the changes appear small, these incremental decreases represent potentially significant changes in teen mental health, especially for girls. Just last year, the CDC reported that nearly 60% of teen girls “were suffering through an unprecedented wave of sadness and trauma,” which was double the rate reported a decade ago and twice the rate in boys.2

Girls with diagnosed and undiagnosed ADHD are at a much higher risk for depression, suicidal thoughts and behaviors, and sexual violence than their neurotypical peers. According to the Berkeley Girls ADHD Longitudinal Study (BGALS), girls with combined type ADHD are three to four times more likely to attempt suicide than their neurotypical peers, and they are 2.5 times more likely to engage in non-suicidal self-injuring behavior.3

“Girls and women with untreated ADHD are at double the risk for engaging in self-harm and significantly more likely to attempt suicide,” said Julia Schechter, Ph.D., of the Duke Center for Girls and Women with ADHD.

A 2022 ADDitude survey of 1,187 caregivers shared similar findings: Eighteen percent of girls with ADHD had engaged in self-harm within the past two or three years compared to 9% of boys.

“The emotional toll of ADHD on teen girls is profound — especially when it isn’t diagnosed early,” said Lotta Borg Skoglund, M.D., Ph.D., during the 2024 ADDitude webinar, “The Emotional Lives of Girls with ADHD.” “And, for teens who menstruate, we can’t ignore fluctuating hormones, which invariably affect emotions, behaviors, and functioning. Is it any wonder that so many teen girls and young women say that regulating emotions and energy levels are their biggest ADHD-related problems?”

“Being a teen girl sucks. Being a teen sucks. ADHD intensifies everything,” said an ADDitude reader from Kansas.

“Schools should do a better job acknowledging the needs of teen girls,” said an ADDitude reader from Florida. “There needs to be better support to accommodate their needs that filters into clubs, after-school sports, etc.”

The improved state of adolescent mental health, especially for girls, is encouraging, but it is no cause for celebration. “As seen in 2021, female students are faring more poorly than male students across almost all measures of substance use, experiences of violence, mental health, and suicidal thoughts and behaviors,” the CDC report stated.

Disparities persist among students who identify as (LGBTQ+). The report found that LGBTQ+ students still experience more violence, signs of poor mental health, and suicidal thoughts and behaviors than their male, cisgender, and heterosexual peers.

#James Donaldson notes:
Welcome to the “next chapter” of my life… being a voice and an advocate for #mentalhealthawarenessandsuicideprevention, especially pertaining to our younger generation of students and student-athletes.
Getting men to speak up and reach out for help and assistance is one of my passions. Us men need to not suffer in silence or drown our sorrows in alcohol, hang out at bars and strip joints, or get involved with drug use.
Having gone through a recent bout of #depression and #suicidalthoughts myself, I realize now, that I can make a huge difference in the lives of so many by sharing my story, and by sharing various resources I come across as I work in this space.  #http://bit.ly/JamesMentalHealthArticle
Find out more about the work I do on my 501c3 non-profit foundation
website www.yourgiftoflife.org Order your copy of James Donaldson's latest book,
#CelebratingYourGiftofLife: From The Verge of Suicide to a Life of Purpose and Joy

www.celebratingyourgiftoflife.com

Link for 40 Habits Signup
bit.ly/40HabitsofMentalHealth

If you'd like to follow and receive my daily blog in to your inbox, just click on it with Follow It. Here's the link https://follow.it/james-donaldson-s-standing-above-the-crowd-s-blog-a-view-from-above-on-things-that-make-the-world-go-round?action=followPub

Rise in School Violence and Bullying

“These data show that we’ve made some progress in tackling these issues in recent years, which proves that they are not insurmountable,” said Kathleen Ethier, Ph.D., director of the CDC’s Division of Adolescent and School Health. “However, there’s still much work ahead.”

Returning to school was a welcome relief for caregivers and students after the COVID-19 pandemic. However, in-person classes have created more opportunities for physical encounters — and consequently more school violence and bullying, the CDC says. From 2021 to 2023, bullying in school grew from 15% to 19%. In 2023, 16% of students experienced electronic bullying via text, Instagram, SnapChat, or other social media channels.

“School bullying remains a serious problem in U.S. schools, particularly for students with ADHD, autism, learning differences, and other comorbidities,” said Rosanna Breaux, Ph.D., during the 2023 ADDitude webinar, “Teen Bullying Solutions: Help for Neurodivergent Adolescents.”

In a 2022 ADDitude survey, 61% of more than 1,000 caregivers said their neurodivergent child was bullied at school. Kids were also bullied through social media (32%), on the school bus (30%), and via text messages (27%).

“My girl is anxious and worries about bullying, girls pranking her, and kids saying she is ‘fat,’” shared an ADDitude reader from South Carolina.

Upward trends in injuries with a weapon on school property and sexual violence among high school students are cause for concern. LGBTQ+ students reported significantly higher rates of sexual violence than their cisgender and heterosexual peers. Of the 9% of high school students who had ever been physically forced to have sexual intercourse, 17% identified as LGBTQ+ compared to 13% of female and 4% of male students. In addition, 11% of high school students said they were forced to perform sexual activities (including kissing, touching, etc.); of those, one-fifth identified as LGBTQ+.

Increases in School Refusal Behaviors

Alongside bullying and violence, rates of school avoidance have risen sharply as well. According to the CDC,

- School absenteeism due to students feeling unsafe at school or traveling to and from school rose from 9% to 13%.
- Female students who missed school because of safety concerns increased from 10% to 16%.
- Male students who missed school because of safety concerns increased from 7% to 10%.

“It’s so important that children get treatment for school refusal behaviors,” said Alana Cooperman, LCSW, senior social worker for the Anxiety Disorders Center at the Child Mind Institute during the recent ADDitude webinar, “School Avoidance & Refusal: Root Causes and Strategies for Parents and Educators.”

School refusal can begin with negative self-talk and quickly spiral to self-harm or suicidality. The long-term effects of school avoidance can lead to declining grades, peer alienation, and increased tension at home. “These struggles don’t go away,” Cooperman said. “They follow children as they become adults. We see increases in anxiety and depression and potential substance abuse as adults.”

“Our girls are not okay,” said an ADDitude reader from California. “My 11-year-old daughter with ADHD was the victim of sexual harassment at her school. As a result, she developed PTSD. She had extreme emotional dysregulation, experienced suicidal ideation, and refused to go to school out of fear. She has not returned to her school since.”

Cooperman recommends treating school refusal behaviors with cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) and that caregivers work collaboratively with their child’s school and therapist to develop a comprehensive treatment plan.

Mental Health Resources

The CDC recommends the following programs to help schools and communities improve adolescent health, well-being, and safety.

- What Works in Schools
- Promoting Mental Health and Well-Being in Schools: An Action Guide for School and District Leaders
- Violence Prevention in Practice: | VetoViolence (cdc.gov)
- Youth Violence Prevention Resource for Action (cdc.gov)
Get Help

Suicide &Crisis Lifeline: Call or Text 988
988lifeline.org

National Sexual Assault Helpline: 1-800-656-HOPE

National Substance Abuse Helpline: 1-800-662-HELP

Stop Bullying

Contact the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline if you are experiencing mental health-related distress or are worried about a loved one who may need crisis support.

If you or someone you know may be considering suicide or be in crisis, call or text 988 to reach the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline

https://standingabovethecrowd.com/james-donaldson-on-mental-health-report-teen-mental-health-is-improving-despite-growing-school-violence/

When to offer support — and when to step back

Photo by samer daboul on Pexels.com

Writer: Gia Miller

Clinical Experts: Grace Berman, LCSW , Rachel Busman, PsyD, ABPP

What You'll Learn

- How old should a child be when they start making their own decisions?

- How can you help your child learn to make decisions?

- Should you let your kid make a bad decision?

- Quick Read

- Full Article

- Start early — even toddlers can make decisions

- Model your decision-making process

- Provide scaffolding as they learn

- When to step back

- Older children, bigger decisions

- Let them make bad decisions — and learn from them

Whether it’s a toddler choosing a toy or a teenager selecting a college, all kids have to make decisions. As they get older, decisions can get more difficult, so it’s important to teach them the right skills at an early age.

When they’re young, give them two options to choose from, such as what to eat at restaurant or what color shoes to wear. You can also model decision-making by thinking out loud when you’re weighing options.

If there’s a decision that affects them, ask them what they think and discuss the choices together. The earlier you can help kids be thoughtful about how their decisions may impact others, the better. Questions they can ask themselves include: What are all the options? What are the pros and cons of each? How will the decision impact others?

Once you trust your child with a decision, let them do it themselves. It will help them build skills and self-confidence. When they’re young, start with small decisions, such as what kind of ice cream to eat.

Tweens and teens will have bigger decisions to make. These may require negotiation and compromise. Even so, you shouldn’t always jump in if you see your child making a bad decision. Children often learn best from their mistakes. If it’s a safe situation, it may be good for them to let them make the bad decision.

When they do make mistakes, help them learn by staying calm and not placing blame. If they regret their choice, support them while they feel the difficult emotions and think about what they would do differently next time.

From a toddler choosing what toy to play with to a high school senior selecting a college, children of all ages must make decisions. While some decisions might seem easy to an adult, they could require skills a child may not have developed. And as kids get older, the decisions become more important, and more complicated.

That’s why it’s important to help children build decision-making skills from an early age, by giving them lots of practice in a developmentally appropriate way. Our experts outline how to provide proper scaffolding when they need it, and when to let them flex their decision-making muscles on their own.

#James Donaldson notes:Welcome to the “next chapter” of my life… being a voice and an advocate for #mentalhealthawarenessandsuicideprevention, especially pertaining to our younger generation of students and student-athletes.Getting men to speak up and reach out for help and assistance is one of my passions. Us men need to not suffer in silence or drown our sorrows in alcohol, hang out at bars and strip joints, or get involved with drug use.Having gone through a recent bout of #depression and #suicidalthoughts myself, I realize now, that I can make a huge difference in the lives of so many by sharing my story, and by sharing various resources I come across as I work in this space.  #http://bit.ly/JamesMentalHealthArticleFind out more about the work I do on my 501c3 non-profit foundationwebsite www.yourgiftoflife.org Order your copy of James Donaldson's latest book,#CelebratingYourGiftofLife: From The Verge of Suicide to a Life of Purpose and Joy

www.celebratingyourgiftoflife.com

Link for 40 Habits Signupbit.ly/40HabitsofMentalHealth

If you'd like to follow and receive my daily blog in to your inbox, just click on it with Follow It. Here's the link https://follow.it/james-donaldson-s-standing-above-the-crowd-s-blog-a-view-from-above-on-things-that-make-the-world-go-round?action=followPub

Start early — even toddlers can make decisions

“Start teaching your young child how to make decisions by giving them two options, both of which you are okay with them selecting,” says Grace Berman, LCSW, a clinical social worker. “For example, let them decide if they want to wear their red shoes or blue shoes, or give them two options to choose from on a restaurant menu.”

This doesn’t mean that kids should have free rein and make all decisions — not everything requires options. Continue to set boundaries and limits, but give them options and flexibility within those parameters. For example, they can choose what kind of fruit they’d like for a snack, but they cannot make the decision to eat candy all day.

“As they get older, outline what everyday choices you’d like your child to be responsible for,” Berman advises. “Make a list and work with your child to shift the responsibility from you to them. The more decisions they can make, the more practice they will have.”

Model your decision-making process

By the time we’re adults, we’re so accustomed to making decisions that we may not think about the process we go through. But thinking out loud when you’re making choices — from what to make for dinner to where to go on vacation — can help clue kids in to the way you’re arriving at them. What are your alternatives? What are the pros and cons of each?

The next step is to involve your children in a dialogue about decisions that affect them. For example: the decision of whether to attend a classmate’s birthday party or go to a different friend’s house instead. Ask your child why they should go to the party versus the reasons not to go. But then discuss how the birthday child might feel if they learned your child skipped the party to play with a friend. The earlier you can help kids be thoughtful about how their decisions may impact others, the better.

“It’s really important to include kids in those conversations because you’re modeling a lot of really great skills,” says Rachel Busman, PsyD, a clinical psychologist. “You’re also conveying that your child’s thoughts and opinions are important, and that there are many points that go into making a decision.”

When modeling decision-making, focus on general questions that can help your child process all of the information they’ll need:

- What decision do I need to make?

- What are my options, including less-preferable ones?

- What are the pros and cons of each choice?

- Are there any rules (school policy, curfew, etc.) I need to consider when making my decision?

- How will this decision impact others?

- What is my gut telling me to do?

- How does that decision make me feel?

- What’s my plan B?

Provide scaffolding as they learn

When allowing children to make their own choices, you can still provide them with support to make it easier for them.

“If the child is fretting about what to wear every morning, it might be anxiety-based,” Berman explains. “If that’s the case, then it’s really helpful to not make the decisions for them. They need to practice building that skill. Give them two options and be patient so they have time to actually decide. Then praise them when they make the decision, especially if they do it quickly, so it reinforces that behavior.”

Also, help your child understand that some decisions are more important than others, and sometimes it’s important to practice making fast decisions. For example, it doesn’t matter if they choose chicken fingers or spaghetti for lunch today; it’s more important they decide quickly so they’re not late to their next activity. They like both options and they can have the other one for lunch tomorrow.

When to step back

Once you feel confident that you can trust your child with a decision, you can step away. Small decisions, such as what kind of ice cream to get or who to invite over for a playdate, are a great way to start. But don’t shy away from letting them make some slightly bigger decisions once they’ve proven capable of making smaller ones. For example:

- Allow them to pick out their own clothes, as long as they’re weather-appropriate.

- Let them choose what books they’d like to read.

- Ask them to decide how they’d like to celebrate their birthday.

Sometimes it can be hard to step away, but it’s important to convey your confidence in their growing abilities. When you do this, not only are you helping your child practice making decisions, but you’re also helping them shape their character by allowing them to develop the qualities all good decision-makers share, including:

- Trust in themselves and their opinions

- Self-confidence

- Decisiveness

- Thoughtfulness

- Analytical thinking

- Empathy

“If we give them little opportunities to make their own decisions, then they’ll know what to do in those bigger opportunities because they’ve had training,” says Dr. Busman. “When they come to you with a small decision, ask them if they really need your help and encourage them to make the decision on their own. Then, you can chat about it. But for bigger decisions, say, ‘I’m so glad you came to me. This actually seems like a medium or important decision. These are the kinds of things where you should come to me, so we can talk about it.’”

Older children, bigger decisions

As tweens and teens seek independence, they also begin to face bigger decisions, which may require negotiation and compromise. Dr. Busman gives the example of a teenage girl who spent hours doing her homework and frequently fought with her mom about chores. Instead of telling her how to remedy these problems, Dr. Busman worked with her to identify why she was struggling and how to make better choices.

“I asked her, ‘How is your homework situation working for you? Are you happy?’” Dr. Busman explains. “She admitted it wasn’t working well, and we discussed what gets in the way of her completing her homework faster. I learned that her problems were due to procrastination, so we made a plan to stop procrastinating, which included making decisions about when and how to spend her time.”

The fights with her mom were also about her procrastination — her mom would ask her to put her laundry away, but she procrastinated. She and Dr. Busman discussed how she could negotiate with her mom by deciding what her mom would consider reasonable and what consequences should exist. Instead of fighting, she learned how to compromise, make thoughtful decisions and hold herself accountable to an agreement.

Other big decisions kids face, such as following their friends even when they’re uncomfortable or making college choices based on other people’s preferences, can benefit from a similar dialogue. Help them decide if it’s working for them and then work together to create a plan.

Let them make bad decisions — and learn from them

You shouldn’t always jump in if you see your child making a bad decision — children often learn best from their mistakes. As long as it’s a safe situation, let them make the bad decision. But, also consider when they may learn more by you weighing in. It’s a fine balance of letting kids learn, but rescuing them when necessary.

For example, don’t rescue your child if they:

- Would like to wear a silly outfit to school. As long as it’s weather-appropriate, let them. If they get teased, they may choose not to do it again.

- Choose to play a video game before soccer practice and don’t have enough time to get ready. If they arrive at the field without their jersey, don’t bring it to them.

- Want to spend their allowance money on a toy that breaks easily or will quickly become boring.

- Prefer to spend their time talking to friends instead of studying for a test.

Once they’ve experienced the consequence, help them learn from it. Remain calm, avoid placing blame, and help them examine and learn from mistakes. Even if they regret the choice they made, work to build their decision-making confidence.

“Validate their emotions and that it didn’t actually work out the way they expected,” Dr. Busman advises. “Parents sometimes want to shield their kids from difficult emotions, but those painful feelings give us feedback to help us make the right decisions. They’re not dangerous. We need to let kids experience the consequences of bad decisions and work through them. That’s how we’re going to help our kids become adults in the world.”

Photo by samer daboul on Pexels.com
https://standingabovethecrowd.com/james-donaldson-on-mental-health-helping-kids-make-decisions-2/

James Donaldson on Mental Health - Annual state survey of teens finds increase in mental health problems

Yereth Rosen, Alaska Beacon

Alaska teens are more likely to be depressed and have suicidal thoughts than were teens a decade ago, and some mental health problems have increased notably among girls, according to results from the state’s most recent Youth Risk Behavior Survey.

Administered in 2023 to nearly 1,200 high school students around the state, the survey found numerous negative trends.

Of the respondents, 19% reported attempting suicide at least once over the past year, compared to 8.7% in the 2011 Youth Risk Behavior Survey. The number who reported they had considered suicide came in at 23%, compared to 14.5% in 2011. And 43% reported feeling sad or hopeless for such extended periods that they were not able to carry out some of their usual activities, compared to 25.9% who reported feeling that way in the 2011 survey.

Alaska’s Youth Risk Behavior Survey is administered to students every two years, though 2021 was skipped because of the COVID-19 pandemic and school closures. Results from the 2023 survey were released this month by the Alaska Division of Public Health.

In many mental health measures, girls reported more problems than boys. Among female respondents in 2023, 56% reported feeling too sad to engage in their usual activities, versus 32% for male respondents. While 20% of all respondents reported being cyberbullied — up from 15% in 2011 — 25% of the girls said they had been victimized that way.

Other survey results revealed worsening lifestyle habits. High schoolers maintaining a healthy weight dropped to 64.3% in 2023 from 71.9% in 2011. More students, 53.1%, reported drinking at least one sugary beverage in the prior week in the 2023 survey, compared to 44.9% in 2011. Those engaging in the recommended 60 minutes of daily exercise dropped to 18% in 2023 from 21.3% in 2011.

Lindsey Kato, director of the Alaska Division of Public Health, said she was saddened by the findings.

“My heart breaks for our young Alaskans who are struggling and for families across the state,” Kato said in a statement. “These statistics reinforce the continued work that is needed to support our children and families to improve community connectedness, economic stability and access to quality health services; the need for public health and public safety to work side by side our violence prevention work, so that Alaskans can focus on things like physical activity, education and nutrition.”

The Alaska results mirror some of the national trends, as reported by the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. Nationally, surveys show more mental health distress, including thoughts of suicide, particularly among girls.

However, the Alaska survey also shows some positive trends.

Use of tobacco products, including electronic cigarettes and exposure to tobacco smoke is down, as is consumption of alcohol, according to the results.

Tobacco use continues its long-term decline among high schoolers. For example, 6.5% of the 2023 survey respondents said they had smoked a cigarette in the prior 30 days, compared to 14% in 2011.

Of the students responding to the survey, 16.9% said they had consumed an alcoholic beverage in the prior 30 days, compared to 29% in 2011.

#James Donaldson notes:
Welcome to the “next chapter” of my life… being a voice and an advocate for #mentalhealthawarenessandsuicideprevention, especially pertaining to our younger generation of students and student-athletes.
Getting men to speak up and reach out for help and assistance is one of my passions. Us men need to not suffer in silence or drown our sorrows in alcohol, hang out at bars and strip joints, or get involved with drug use.
Having gone through a recent bout of #depression and #suicidalthoughts myself, I realize now, that I can make a huge difference in the lives of so many by sharing my story, and by sharing various resources I come across as I work in this space.  #http://bit.ly/JamesMentalHealthArticle
Find out more about the work I do on my 501c3 non-profit foundation
website www.yourgiftoflife.org Order your copy of James Donaldson's latest book,
#CelebratingYourGiftofLife: From The Verge of Suicide to a Life of Purpose and Joy

www.celebratingyourgiftoflife.com

Link for 40 Habits Signup
bit.ly/40HabitsofMentalHealth

If you'd like to follow and receive my daily blog in to your inbox, just click on it with Follow It. Here's the link https://follow.it/james-donaldson-s-standing-above-the-crowd-s-blog-a-view-from-above-on-things-that-make-the-world-go-round?action=followPub

The use of e-cigarettes has changed significantly in recent years. The latest survey suggests that the popularity of vaping among Alaska high schoolers is declining. In 2023, 17.3% reported vaping over the prior 30 days, significantly lower rate than the 26.1% measured in 2019 and similar to the 17.7% rate recorded in 2015, the first time the survey asked students about e-cigarettes.

The decrease in vaping “is obviously a really exciting thing to see,” said Katie Steffens, deputy program manager for the Alaska Tobacco Prevention and Control Program.

The program, which is part of the Division of Public Health, has a wide-ranging strategy to discourage vaping, including working with schools, community groups and a “Not Buying It” campaign to counter e-cigarette companies’ youth-focused marketing.

https://standingabovethecrowd.com/james-donaldson-on-mental-health-annual-state-survey-of-teens-finds-increase-in-mental-health-problems/

James Donaldson on Mental Health - Helping Kids Make Decisions

When to offer support — and when to step back

Photo by samer daboul on Pexels.com

Writer: Gia Miller

Clinical Experts: Grace Berman, LCSW , Rachel Busman, PsyD, ABPP

What You'll Learn

- How old should a child be when they start making their own decisions?
- How can you help your child learn to make decisions?
- Should you let your kid make a bad decision?
- Quick Read
- Full Article
- Start early — even toddlers can make decisions
- Model your decision-making process
- Provide scaffolding as they learn
- When to step back
- Older children, bigger decisions
- Let them make bad decisions — and learn from them

Whether it’s a toddler choosing a toy or a teenager selecting a college, all kids have to make decisions. As they get older, decisions can get more difficult, so it’s important to teach them the right skills at an early age.

When they’re young, give them two options to choose from, such as what to eat at restaurant or what color shoes to wear. You can also model decision-making by thinking out loud when you’re weighing options.

If there’s a decision that affects them, ask them what they think and discuss the choices together. The earlier you can help kids be thoughtful about how their decisions may impact others, the better. Questions they can ask themselves include: What are all the options? What are the pros and cons of each? How will the decision impact others?

Once you trust your child with a decision, let them do it themselves. It will help them build skills and self-confidence. When they’re young, start with small decisions, such as what kind of ice cream to eat.

Tweens and teens will have bigger decisions to make. These may require negotiation and compromise. Even so, you shouldn’t always jump in if you see your child making a bad decision. Children often learn best from their mistakes. If it’s a safe situation, it may be good for them to let them make the bad decision.

When they do make mistakes, help them learn by staying calm and not placing blame. If they regret their choice, support them while they feel the difficult emotions and think about what they would do differently next time.

From a toddler choosing what toy to play with to a high school senior selecting a college, children of all ages must make decisions. While some decisions might seem easy to an adult, they could require skills a child may not have developed. And as kids get older, the decisions become more important, and more complicated.

That’s why it’s important to help children build decision-making skills from an early age, by giving them lots of practice in a developmentally appropriate way. Our experts outline how to provide proper scaffolding when they need it, and when to let them flex their decision-making muscles on their own.

#James Donaldson notes:
Welcome to the “next chapter” of my life… being a voice and an advocate for #mentalhealthawarenessandsuicideprevention, especially pertaining to our younger generation of students and student-athletes.
Getting men to speak up and reach out for help and assistance is one of my passions. Us men need to not suffer in silence or drown our sorrows in alcohol, hang out at bars and strip joints, or get involved with drug use.
Having gone through a recent bout of #depression and #suicidalthoughts myself, I realize now, that I can make a huge difference in the lives of so many by sharing my story, and by sharing various resources I come across as I work in this space.  #http://bit.ly/JamesMentalHealthArticle
Find out more about the work I do on my 501c3 non-profit foundation
website www.yourgiftoflife.org Order your copy of James Donaldson's latest book,
#CelebratingYourGiftofLife: From The Verge of Suicide to a Life of Purpose and Joy

www.celebratingyourgiftoflife.com

Link for 40 Habits Signup
bit.ly/40HabitsofMentalHealth

If you'd like to follow and receive my daily blog in to your inbox, just click on it with Follow It. Here's the link https://follow.it/james-donaldson-s-standing-above-the-crowd-s-blog-a-view-from-above-on-things-that-make-the-world-go-round?action=followPub

Start early — even toddlers can make decisions

“Start teaching your young child how to make decisions by giving them two options, both of which you are okay with them selecting,” says Grace Berman, LCSW, a clinical social worker. “For example, let them decide if they want to wear their red shoes or blue shoes, or give them two options to choose from on a restaurant menu.”

This doesn’t mean that kids should have free rein and make all decisions — not everything requires options. Continue to set boundaries and limits, but give them options and flexibility within those parameters. For example, they can choose what kind of fruit they’d like for a snack, but they cannot make the decision to eat candy all day.

“As they get older, outline what everyday choices you’d like your child to be responsible for,” Berman advises. “Make a list and work with your child to shift the responsibility from you to them. The more decisions they can make, the more practice they will have.”

Model your decision-making process

By the time we’re adults, we’re so accustomed to making decisions that we may not think about the process we go through. But thinking out loud when you’re making choices — from what to make for dinner to where to go on vacation — can help clue kids in to the way you’re arriving at them. What are your alternatives? What are the pros and cons of each?

The next step is to involve your children in a dialogue about decisions that affect them. For example: the decision of whether to attend a classmate’s birthday party or go to a different friend’s house instead. Ask your child why they should go to the party versus the reasons not to go. But then discuss how the birthday child might feel if they learned your child skipped the party to play with a friend. The earlier you can help kids be thoughtful about how their decisions may impact others, the better.

“It’s really important to include kids in those conversations because you’re modeling a lot of really great skills,” says Rachel Busman, PsyD, a clinical psychologist. “You’re also conveying that your child’s thoughts and opinions are important, and that there are many points that go into making a decision.”

When modeling decision-making, focus on general questions that can help your child process all of the information they’ll need:

- What decision do I need to make?
- What are my options, including less-preferable ones?
- What are the pros and cons of each choice?
- Are there any rules (school policy, curfew, etc.) I need to consider when making my decision?
- How will this decision impact others?
- What is my gut telling me to do?
- How does that decision make me feel?
- What’s my plan B?

Provide scaffolding as they learn

When allowing children to make their own choices, you can still provide them with support to make it easier for them.

“If the child is fretting about what to wear every morning, it might be anxiety-based,” Berman explains. “If that’s the case, then it’s really helpful to not make the decisions for them. They need to practice building that skill. Give them two options and be patient so they have time to actually decide. Then praise them when they make the decision, especially if they do it quickly, so it reinforces that behavior.”

Also, help your child understand that some decisions are more important than others, and sometimes it’s important to practice making fast decisions. For example, it doesn’t matter if they choose chicken fingers or spaghetti for lunch today; it’s more important they decide quickly so they’re not late to their next activity. They like both options and they can have the other one for lunch tomorrow.

When to step back

Once you feel confident that you can trust your child with a decision, you can step away. Small decisions, such as what kind of ice cream to get or who to invite over for a playdate, are a great way to start. But don’t shy away from letting them make some slightly bigger decisions once they’ve proven capable of making smaller ones. For example:

- Allow them to pick out their own clothes, as long as they’re weather-appropriate.
- Let them choose what books they’d like to read.
- Ask them to decide how they’d like to celebrate their birthday.

Sometimes it can be hard to step away, but it’s important to convey your confidence in their growing abilities. When you do this, not only are you helping your child practice making decisions, but you’re also helping them shape their character by allowing them to develop the qualities all good decision-makers share, including:

- Trust in themselves and their opinions
- Self-confidence
- Decisiveness
- Thoughtfulness
- Analytical thinking
- Empathy

“If we give them little opportunities to make their own decisions, then they’ll know what to do in those bigger opportunities because they’ve had training,” says Dr. Busman. “When they come to you with a small decision, ask them if they really need your help and encourage them to make the decision on their own. Then, you can chat about it. But for bigger decisions, say, ‘I’m so glad you came to me. This actually seems like a medium or important decision. These are the kinds of things where you should come to me, so we can talk about it.’”

Older children, bigger decisions

As tweens and teens seek independence, they also begin to face bigger decisions, which may require negotiation and compromise. Dr. Busman gives the example of a teenage girl who spent hours doing her homework and frequently fought with her mom about chores. Instead of telling her how to remedy these problems, Dr. Busman worked with her to identify why she was struggling and how to make better choices.

“I asked her, ‘How is your homework situation working for you? Are you happy?’” Dr. Busman explains. “She admitted it wasn’t working well, and we discussed what gets in the way of her completing her homework faster. I learned that her problems were due to procrastination, so we made a plan to stop procrastinating, which included making decisions about when and how to spend her time.”

The fights with her mom were also about her procrastination — her mom would ask her to put her laundry away, but she procrastinated. She and Dr. Busman discussed how she could negotiate with her mom by deciding what her mom would consider reasonable and what consequences should exist. Instead of fighting, she learned how to compromise, make thoughtful decisions and hold herself accountable to an agreement.

Other big decisions kids face, such as following their friends even when they’re uncomfortable or making college choices based on other people’s preferences, can benefit from a similar dialogue. Help them decide if it’s working for them and then work together to create a plan.

Let them make bad decisions — and learn from them

You shouldn’t always jump in if you see your child making a bad decision — children often learn best from their mistakes. As long as it’s a safe situation, let them make the bad decision. But, also consider when they may learn more by you weighing in. It’s a fine balance of letting kids learn, but rescuing them when necessary.

For example, don’t rescue your child if they:

- Would like to wear a silly outfit to school. As long as it’s weather-appropriate, let them. If they get teased, they may choose not to do it again.
- Choose to play a video game before soccer practice and don’t have enough time to get ready. If they arrive at the field without their jersey, don’t bring it to them.
- Want to spend their allowance money on a toy that breaks easily or will quickly become boring.
- Prefer to spend their time talking to friends instead of studying for a test.

Once they’ve experienced the consequence, help them learn from it. Remain calm, avoid placing blame, and help them examine and learn from mistakes. Even if they regret the choice they made, work to build their decision-making confidence.

“Validate their emotions and that it didn’t actually work out the way they expected,” Dr. Busman advises. “Parents sometimes want to shield their kids from difficult emotions, but those painful feelings give us feedback to help us make the right decisions. They’re not dangerous. We need to let kids experience the consequences of bad decisions and work through them. That’s how we’re going to help our kids become adults in the world.”

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James Donaldson on Mental Health - Talking to Kids About Money

Starting early helps children develop good habits like setting limits on spending and resisting impulse buys

Photo by August de Richelieu on Pexels.com

Writer: Katherine Martinelli

Clinical Expert: Dave Anderson, PhD

What You'll Learn

- How can you teach your kids good money habits?

- How do kids develop the discipline to save for what they want?

- How can you use money to teach good values?

- Quick Read

- Full Article

- Start young

- Talk about money

- Model responsible money habits

- Allowance

- Spending and saving

- Talk about value — and values

- Helping kids with ADHD

- Let them make mistakes

By the second or third grade, most kids have the math skills to start learning about money. And the earlier you start teaching them, the better. It helps to make talking about money a part of daily life. At the grocery store, you can talk about why some things cost more money than others. Is it just a brand name? Better ingredients? To pay workers fairly? You can also include kids in budgeting. Do they want one pair of pricier shoes or two cheaper pairs?

Kids learn from being able to earn and handle money in small amounts. An allowance for chores is a good place to start. It’s good to be clear about the terms of this money. What do they need to do, how much will they get, and when? Then talk with them about what to do with their money. Some parents split it into groups of saving, spending and donating. If they have a big goal in mind, like a pricy toy, they’ll need to save up. Setting aside money to donate is a great way for kids to start thinking about values and how to live by them.

Older kids can benefit from more freedom to budget and more responsibility. Be clear about what they need to pay for. If they didn’t budget enough for gas, that means they’ll have less to spend elsewhere.

Kids will make mistakes with money. That’s how they learn. Be patient, even when their mistakes are frustrating.

From starting a piggy bank to sending your kid off to college with a credit card, helping kids learn healthy habits around money can take a lot of work — and patience.

But teaching children to be financially responsible early on will help them cope with challenges like setting limits, planning a budget and resisting impulse buys. There are a lot of different ways to help kids get smart about spending, but we’ve put together some basics to help parents get started.

Start young

Although it’s never too late to develop good money habits, starting the conversation when children are young will make things easier down the line when the stakes are higher. David Anderson, PhD, clinical psychologist at the Child Mind Institute, suggests beginning to talk about money when your child is in second or third grade. “That’s when most kids’ math skills get to the point where they’re able to understand this kind of arithmetic.”

Talk about money

Talking comfortably about finances is an important part of helping kids developing a healthy relationship with money. “Talking about money can’t be relegated to a one-time conversation,” advises Lynne Somerman, a money coach and founder of The Wiser Miser. “It needs to be part of the day-in, day-out conversation. As money topics come up and your kids are around, talk about them as openly as you feel comfortable.”

One way to do this is by including your children in basic financial decisions. For example, at the supermarket you can look at the circular together to see what’s on sale before deciding what to make for dinner. Or you can ask them to make budget-based decisions, like they can have one pair of more expensive shoes or two pairs of cheaper ones because you have only budgeted so much for shoes.

You can also start the conversation about why some things cost more money. Ask your kids to help you compare prices and examine product claims. Is it essentially the same product but more expensive because it is a name brand? Or are their other factors that might justify a higher price, like better workmanship or more humane farming practices?

Model responsible money habits

Kids look to parents for cues on how to behave — and money management is no exception. A big part of teaching kids good financial habits is making sure you’re modeling them yourself. Let your child know what the expectations and norms around money in your family are by setting easy-to-follow examples. A few things to try could be:

- Setting a budget before heading to the store, and sticking to it when you shop, even if that means leaving a treat behind.

- Being open about saving money for things like vacations, a new car, college funds and retirement.

- Teaching kids to fix things when they break, instead of throwing them away.

- Avoiding “retail therapy,” or shopping with the goal of cheering yourself up.

- Imposing a waiting period to guard against impulsive purchases. Are you still thinking about that pair of shoes a week later?

When parents model good behaviors early on, kids get the message that being smart about money is part of growing up, says Dr. Anderson, “and limits become something that follow much more easily.”

Allowance

One of the most common ways to introduce kids to the idea of responsible spending is by giving them an allowance. How much you give is up to you, but any amount can be a great way to teach kids money basics.

The first thing to think about, says Dr. Anderson, is “what behavior should be tied to receiving that money.” Of course there are times, like a birthday or holiday, when a child may get money as a present, but an allowance should be seen more like a paycheck —something earned rather than a weekly gift. These expectations, whether they are tied to academic achievement or chores, should be clearly laid out and discussed.

Spending and saving

The next thing to think about when it comes to allowance is how they will spend their money. This is where parents can begin to introduce lessons about budgeting, saving, impulse control and delayed gratification.

One way to do this is to start by creating a savings account. “We’ll often encourage parents to pay kids a certain amount of their allowance in cash for spending, and a certain amount that’s not flexible that goes into their savings,” says Dr. Anderson. Start by agreeing on a savings plan with your child, and have a conversation about what they’d like to save up for. A few ideas could be:

- A trip to their favorite amusement park

- An upcoming movie they’ve been looking forward to seeing

- A toy, game or item of clothing they want (but don’t need).

Once your child has saved up enough money to meet their goal, Dr. Anderson suggests giving them the chance to decide if they’d like to use it, or keep saving. That way, he says, “Kids can decide when to dip into their savings and when something is meaningful or valuable enough that they want to spend some of the money they’ve saved.”

Talk about value — and values

Another tactic that has become increasingly popular is to break down the child’s money into three categories: spending, saving and donating. This not only gets children to think about budgeting and delayed gratification, but also teaches them to “think about their place in the larger world,” says Dr. Anderson. Deciding what causes to donate to can be a valuable family conversation.

Somerman agrees. “Talk about income inequality and poverty, too, as examples come up in your life or on TV,” she suggests. Understanding that not everyone has the same amount of money — and the same access to things money can buy, like food, toys, clothes or even a comfortable home — will help kids get a better sense of what’s really important.

For older kids, parents can maintain this strategy while introducing greater independence into their decision-making. Somerman recommends something like a simple envelope system. Parents should sit down with their child to decide what they are expected to pay for with their allowance, then break those things down and put the budgeted money into specific envelopes. Categories might include clothing, transportation and general “fun money.” Whatever they don’t spend gets rolled over to the next month; likewise, if they didn’t budget enough for, say, gas, it might have to come out of fun money. Seeing the money in the envelopes (and especially watching it disappear) can make spending seem a lot more “real,” especially compared to paying for things with a debit card.

If there are some things in the budget that aren’t flexible — like saving for college — then that money might bypass the envelope system and go straight into a savings account.

Helping kids with ADHD

If your child has ADHD, managing money can be a particular challenge.  “Some of the major behaviors that we see with kids with ADHD, ” explains Dr. Anderson, “involve not being able to delay gratification, not considering the downstream consequences of a decision and prioritizing perhaps a small initial reward over a larger one that might happen later.” These can all lead to poor financial decision-making.

Another potential hurdle is that, because there is a genetic component to ADHD, parents of children with ADHD often have the disorder themselves. It can be particularly challenging for parents who struggle with executive functions or organization to teach kids good financial habits, especially if the parent doesn’t feel that they have mastery over their own finances. “That’s where a good therapist or mental health person can help,” says Dr. Anderson.  Working with a professional can help struggling parents improve their own money habits, and make it easier to pass those skills along.

#James Donaldson notes:Welcome to the “next chapter” of my life… being a voice and an advocate for #mentalhealthawarenessandsuicideprevention, especially pertaining to our younger generation of students and student-athletes.Getting men to speak up and reach out for help and assistance is one of my passions. Us men need to not suffer in silence or drown our sorrows in alcohol, hang out at bars and strip joints, or get involved with drug use.Having gone through a recent bout of #depression and #suicidalthoughts myself, I realize now, that I can make a huge difference in the lives of so many by sharing my story, and by sharing various resources I come across as I work in this space.  #http://bit.ly/JamesMentalHealthArticleFind out more about the work I do on my 501c3 non-profit foundationwebsite www.yourgiftoflife.org Order your copy of James Donaldson's latest book,#CelebratingYourGiftofLife: From The Verge of Suicide to a Life of Purpose and Joy

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Let them make mistakes

At the end of the day, one of the hardest parts about teaching kids about money is that they will inevitably make mistakes, and those misjudgments result in real, tangible financial loss. However, it’s important to give kids room to test out certain behaviors and learn from the consequences.

When the child makes a mistake, especially an expensive one, it can be tempting to take away all responsibility and privilege forever. But keep in mind that it may take some trial and error (and patience on your part) for kids to learn good habits. “The reality is,” argues Dr. Anderson, “we still have to figure out how to help them practice those responsible behaviors at some point, or else they will never learn them.”

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https://standingabovethecrowd.com/james-donaldson-on-mental-health-talking-to-kids-about-money/