Kids do best when all the adults close to them are working together

Photo by August de Richelieu on Pexels.com

Writer: Juliann Garey

Clinical Experts: Dave Anderson, PhD , Catherine Lord, PhD , Rachel Busman, PsyD, ABPP

What You'll Learn

- How do you explain your child’s mental health diagnosis and treatment to friends and family?

- What should you say to people who doubt your child has a real issue?

- What is the best way to encourage friends and family to support your child?

- Quick Read

- Full Article

- Skepticism on ADHD 

- Autism denial

- How to help family members get on board

- Prioritize

- Write out a script

- Practice what you want to say

- Lead with gratitude

- Explain the diagnosis

- Invite questions

- Outline the treatment

- Be positive

- Share the tools you’ve learned

- When in doubt, blame the therapist

- Offer resources

- Protect your child

Family members sometimes refuse to take disorders like ADHD, anxiety and autism seriously. They may blame the child, saying they are just badly behaved, shy or lazy. They may say the child is spoiled or will grow out of the problem. All of this can confuse the child and interfere with treatment. But there are things you can do to get family and friends on your side.

First, decide if the person plays a big role in the child’s life. If not, it might make sense to avoid having your child spend time with them. If so, it’s worth having a talk with them. Start by writing out what you’re going to say ahead of time. Practice saying it out loud. Tell the relative or friend you appreciate how much they care about your child. Then explain what the doctor told you about your child’s diagnosis. Include specific examples. When you’re done, ask if they have questions.

After you explain your child’s issue, tell the person what treatment your child is getting and what the goals are. Share any tips or tools you’ve learned. Ask relatives to help by using those same tools with your child, which can give them a way to feel involved and also help the child get consistent messages from the important people in their life.

If the person is still not convinced, emphasize that the doctor said you have to do these things to help your child. The doctor could even talk to the relative themselves or give you books and articles to share. In rare cases, someone important to you may still refuse to do what you ask or even say bad things about the treatment to your child. If this happens, you might have to say your child can’t see them anymore. As a parent, you have to put your child first. But usually, there’s a way to help important people in your life understand what’s going on.

#James Donaldson notes:Welcome to the “next chapter” of my life… being a voice and an advocate for #mentalhealthawarenessandsuicideprevention, especially pertaining to our younger generation of students and student-athletes.Getting men to speak up and reach out for help and assistance is one of my passions. Us men need to not suffer in silence or drown our sorrows in alcohol, hang out at bars and strip joints, or get involved with drug use.Having gone through a recent bout of #depression and #suicidalthoughts myself, I realize now, that I can make a huge difference in the lives of so many by sharing my story, and by sharing various resources I come across as I work in this space.  #http://bit.ly/JamesMentalHealthArticleFind out more about the work I do on my 501c3 non-profit foundationwebsite www.yourgiftoflife.org Order your copy of James Donaldson's latest book,#CelebratingYourGiftofLife: From The Verge of Suicide to a Life of Purpose and Joy

Click Here For More Information About James Donaldson

It is never easy to acknowledge that your child has a serious mental health issue and then to take the difficult step of seeking adiagnosis and treatment. In an ideal world, parents seeking care for a child would have the support of family members, other caregivers and their child’s teachers. But the reality is that it’s not unusual for parents to be second-guessed and criticized by people close to them. In some cases, extended family members or caregivers will even speak inappropriately to the child about their diagnosis or treatment.

Rachel Busman, PsyD, a clinical psychologist, works with children who have selective mutism, an anxiety disorder that makes them unable to speak in school and other settings outside the home. When all the adults close to the child work together, specialized therapy is very successful in treating it. But treatment can be derailed when the child gets mixed messages. Dr. Busman hears reports of grandparents who say things like, “They’re just shy. They’ll grow out of it. You don’t need that hocus pocus. They just need to buck up.”

The other problem, she adds, is that family members may misinterpret the child’s inability to speak as a form of defiance, and conclude that parents just need to be tougher on their kid.

The same thing applies to children with other mental health and learning disorders.

Skepticism on ADHD 

“We often see this with ADHD, where people in the extended family say the kid just needs to try harder, they aren’t putting forth enough effort,” says David Anderson, PhD, a clinical psychologist at the Child Mind Institute. “The relatives tend to see kids in leisure activities, like watching TV or playing on the computer, where their focus is fine. They don’t see them in school, so they invalidate the difficulty they’re truly having there.”

Skepticism may be especially aggressive when medication is involved, Dr. Anderson adds. “One of the difficulties for ADHD is that medication is one of the frontline treatments, so all the stigma that goes along with psychiatric medication is something that parents have to hear about, even though ADHD medication is among the most researched and the safest when monitored by a child or adolescent psychiatrist. ”

Autism denial

Catherine Lord, PhD, a distinguished autism expert at UCLA, says pushback from family members is a “huge problem” with young children on the spectrum, for whom early diagnosis and treatment are crucial. “Often the first reaction of grandparents, and friends, too, is, ‘Oh no, no, they’re so cute.’ How can that possibly be true?’ ”

“A common impulse, Dr. Lord explains, is to reassure the parents that the behavior they’re seeing is nothing unusual. They’ll say, ‘Your father didn’t talk ‘til he was six’— which is probably inaccurate, given how unreliable our memories are — ‘And look at him now. So why are you making such a big deal?’ ”

And even more troubling are family members who blame the symptoms on the parents: “‘They’re just spoiled. If you didn’t give into them all the time, they’d be fine.’ ”

How to help family members get on board

Parents may be dissuaded from engaging in treatment — whether it’s therapy or medication — because people in their lives are telling them their child’s disorder is not real or treatment is a waste of money. Sometimes these attitudes are generational, and sometimes they can be cultural.  Whatever the reason, getting the other adults in your child’s life on board with the diagnosis and treatment plan can be important to the success of treatment. Here are some tips for how to do that.

Prioritize

It’s important for parents to prioritize. How important is the skeptic they’re dealing with to the child? If they are not, minimizing interactions may be your best option. If you do overhear them saying something that makes your child uncomfortable you can always say something to reassure them — “You know that’s not what we believe, right?” In the case of family members like grandparents or siblings who play an important role in your child’s life, the answer is usually yes: It’s worth sitting down with that person and having a real conversation.

Write out a script

Dr. Busman recommends that parents write out a script or “talking points” before heading into what may be a potentially emotional conversation. Then get the person alone. “You never want to do this conversation in front of the kids,” Dr. Busman says, “because then Aunt Suzie loses face, or the grandparent loses face.” Have a piece of paper with you that you can refer to — things the clinician shared with you that you want to explain.

Practice what you want to say

Knowing what you want to say and saying it can be two different things, so practicing your talking points out loud can help you be more confident and comfortable discussing the diagnosis, notes Dr. Lord.  “We advise parents to practice it five times before you go in. “

Lead with gratitude

Dr. Busman tells parents to begin the conversation by telling the grandparent or aunt or caregiver how grateful you are for the role they play in the child’s life. “Lead with the positive and lead with gratitude,” she says. So, if you’re talking to your sister, you might say, “You are such a great aunt. You mean so much to my child. I know you might not agree with the treatment I’ve pursued for them, but we really need you to support what we’re doing.”

Explain the diagnosis

As clearly as possible, explain the diagnosis to the family member or caregiver. Giving some concrete examples of the behaviors you are seeing can help, too. What’s the difference between a typical child and the behavior you’re seeing?

Invite questions

It’s important to say to the person, “I know you care about my kid and I want to hear what you think.” If you listen, then you get a lot of information about what the person does or doesn’t understand or what their concerns about treatment might be. You need to find out what their issues are in order to address them.

Outline the treatment

Whether you’re doingbehavioral therapy or medication, explain the basics to your family. This can also be an opportunity for you to discuss specific goals you are working on in treatment and ways that you (and your family) can help reinforce those goals. If you’ve seen some positive results, share that progress with the family member.

Be positive

“We tell parents all the time, tell your child what you want them to do rather than what you don’t want them to do,” Dr. Busman says. And that same idea applies to the people in your child’s life. “Don’t give people a bunch of things not to do. Give them a few tips of things they can do.” A lot of grandparents or caregivers or teachers who have different parenting styles will get on board if you just help them know what they’re supposed to do, such as how to praise and reinforce the behaviors your child is working on instead of responding to negative behavior.

Share the tools you’ve learned

Share the specifics of what you’ve learned from your child’s clinician and the skills you’ve been practicing with your child. Many of these skills will be unfamiliar to them. So, Dr. Busman says, you can say something like, “I’ve learned so many really helpful tools. Here are some of the tools I’ve learned.”

When in doubt, blame the therapist

When dealing with a skeptical person, Dr. Busman argues that it’s okay to put the “blame” on the therapist. You tell the person, “the psychologist said you need to stop talking like that, because it’s not helpful.” Many therapists are open to communicating directly with extended family or caregivers. “I’ve done Skype calls,” Dr. Busman says. “I’ve emailed with a person. I’ve had mom come in with grandma.”

Offer resources

You could also point them towards some reliable resources online. “If a child has a learning problem or an attention problem,” Dr. Busman explains, “the grandparent or the caregiver could find out some more specific details of what the child’s diagnosis or what their academic challenges mean so they understand it.” The Child Mind Institute has a large archive of articles about therapies and medications and how helpful they can be for kids when the clinician determines they’re needed. Other helpful sites might be Understood for kids with ADHD or learning disabilities, the Selective Mutism Association, the International OCD Foundation, the National Eating Disorders Association or Autism Speaks. Your child’s clinician may also have a fact sheet or particular resource that she recommends.

Protect your child

Sadly, there are some situations in which no matter how hard you try, you simply can’t get through to the adult in your child’s life. If that relationship is harming your child or undermining their treatment, you have to be prepared to distance your child from that unhealthy influence. “I worked with a family where the mother’s sister was saying really inappropriate stuff to the kid,” says Dr. Busman. “It was very devaluing of their anxiety, was making the mom feel like she was a really bad mom. It was very judgmental and really hurtful.”

In that case Dr. Busman took a firmer approach than usual, advising the parents to tell the aunt, “we’re not going to be able to see you if you’re speaking in this way, because it’s actually damaging.” But since ultimately everyone involved in the child’s life just wants what’s best for them, there’s usually a way to help the relative in your child’s life come around.

Photo by August de Richelieu on Pexels.com https://standingabovethecrowd.com/james-donaldson-on-mental-health-getting-family-members-on-board-with-treatment/

Your Feelings Are Part Of Your Journey, Not Your Identity https://youtube.com/shorts/gdcDp_8TvNk?feature=share

Kids do best when all the adults close to them are working together

Photo by August de Richelieu on Pexels.com

Writer: Juliann Garey

Clinical Experts: Dave Anderson, PhD , Catherine Lord, PhD , Rachel Busman, PsyD, ABPP

What You'll Learn

- How do you explain your child’s mental health diagnosis and treatment to friends and family?

- What should you say to people who doubt your child has a real issue?

- What is the best way to encourage friends and family to support your child?

- Quick Read

- Full Article

- Skepticism on ADHD 

- Autism denial

- How to help family members get on board

- Prioritize

- Write out a script

- Practice what you want to say

- Lead with gratitude

- Explain the diagnosis

- Invite questions

- Outline the treatment

- Be positive

- Share the tools you’ve learned

- When in doubt, blame the therapist

- Offer resources

- Protect your child

Family members sometimes refuse to take disorders like ADHD, anxiety and autism seriously. They may blame the child, saying they are just badly behaved, shy or lazy. They may say the child is spoiled or will grow out of the problem. All of this can confuse the child and interfere with treatment. But there are things you can do to get family and friends on your side.

First, decide if the person plays a big role in the child’s life. If not, it might make sense to avoid having your child spend time with them. If so, it’s worth having a talk with them. Start by writing out what you’re going to say ahead of time. Practice saying it out loud. Tell the relative or friend you appreciate how much they care about your child. Then explain what the doctor told you about your child’s diagnosis. Include specific examples. When you’re done, ask if they have questions.

After you explain your child’s issue, tell the person what treatment your child is getting and what the goals are. Share any tips or tools you’ve learned. Ask relatives to help by using those same tools with your child, which can give them a way to feel involved and also help the child get consistent messages from the important people in their life.

If the person is still not convinced, emphasize that the doctor said you have to do these things to help your child. The doctor could even talk to the relative themselves or give you books and articles to share. In rare cases, someone important to you may still refuse to do what you ask or even say bad things about the treatment to your child. If this happens, you might have to say your child can’t see them anymore. As a parent, you have to put your child first. But usually, there’s a way to help important people in your life understand what’s going on.

#James Donaldson notes:Welcome to the “next chapter” of my life… being a voice and an advocate for #mentalhealthawarenessandsuicideprevention, especially pertaining to our younger generation of students and student-athletes.Getting men to speak up and reach out for help and assistance is one of my passions. Us men need to not suffer in silence or drown our sorrows in alcohol, hang out at bars and strip joints, or get involved with drug use.Having gone through a recent bout of #depression and #suicidalthoughts myself, I realize now, that I can make a huge difference in the lives of so many by sharing my story, and by sharing various resources I come across as I work in this space.  #http://bit.ly/JamesMentalHealthArticleFind out more about the work I do on my 501c3 non-profit foundationwebsite www.yourgiftoflife.org Order your copy of James Donaldson's latest book,#CelebratingYourGiftofLife: From The Verge of Suicide to a Life of Purpose and Joy

Click Here For More Information About James Donaldson

It is never easy to acknowledge that your child has a serious mental health issue and then to take the difficult step of seeking adiagnosis and treatment. In an ideal world, parents seeking care for a child would have the support of family members, other caregivers and their child’s teachers. But the reality is that it’s not unusual for parents to be second-guessed and criticized by people close to them. In some cases, extended family members or caregivers will even speak inappropriately to the child about their diagnosis or treatment.

Rachel Busman, PsyD, a clinical psychologist, works with children who have selective mutism, an anxiety disorder that makes them unable to speak in school and other settings outside the home. When all the adults close to the child work together, specialized therapy is very successful in treating it. But treatment can be derailed when the child gets mixed messages. Dr. Busman hears reports of grandparents who say things like, “They’re just shy. They’ll grow out of it. You don’t need that hocus pocus. They just need to buck up.”

The other problem, she adds, is that family members may misinterpret the child’s inability to speak as a form of defiance, and conclude that parents just need to be tougher on their kid.

The same thing applies to children with other mental health and learning disorders.

Skepticism on ADHD 

“We often see this with ADHD, where people in the extended family say the kid just needs to try harder, they aren’t putting forth enough effort,” says David Anderson, PhD, a clinical psychologist at the Child Mind Institute. “The relatives tend to see kids in leisure activities, like watching TV or playing on the computer, where their focus is fine. They don’t see them in school, so they invalidate the difficulty they’re truly having there.”

Skepticism may be especially aggressive when medication is involved, Dr. Anderson adds. “One of the difficulties for ADHD is that medication is one of the frontline treatments, so all the stigma that goes along with psychiatric medication is something that parents have to hear about, even though ADHD medication is among the most researched and the safest when monitored by a child or adolescent psychiatrist. ”

Autism denial

Catherine Lord, PhD, a distinguished autism expert at UCLA, says pushback from family members is a “huge problem” with young children on the spectrum, for whom early diagnosis and treatment are crucial. “Often the first reaction of grandparents, and friends, too, is, ‘Oh no, no, they’re so cute.’ How can that possibly be true?’ ”

“A common impulse, Dr. Lord explains, is to reassure the parents that the behavior they’re seeing is nothing unusual. They’ll say, ‘Your father didn’t talk ‘til he was six’— which is probably inaccurate, given how unreliable our memories are — ‘And look at him now. So why are you making such a big deal?’ ”

And even more troubling are family members who blame the symptoms on the parents: “‘They’re just spoiled. If you didn’t give into them all the time, they’d be fine.’ ”

How to help family members get on board

Parents may be dissuaded from engaging in treatment — whether it’s therapy or medication — because people in their lives are telling them their child’s disorder is not real or treatment is a waste of money. Sometimes these attitudes are generational, and sometimes they can be cultural.  Whatever the reason, getting the other adults in your child’s life on board with the diagnosis and treatment plan can be important to the success of treatment. Here are some tips for how to do that.

Prioritize

It’s important for parents to prioritize. How important is the skeptic they’re dealing with to the child? If they are not, minimizing interactions may be your best option. If you do overhear them saying something that makes your child uncomfortable you can always say something to reassure them — “You know that’s not what we believe, right?” In the case of family members like grandparents or siblings who play an important role in your child’s life, the answer is usually yes: It’s worth sitting down with that person and having a real conversation.

Write out a script

Dr. Busman recommends that parents write out a script or “talking points” before heading into what may be a potentially emotional conversation. Then get the person alone. “You never want to do this conversation in front of the kids,” Dr. Busman says, “because then Aunt Suzie loses face, or the grandparent loses face.” Have a piece of paper with you that you can refer to — things the clinician shared with you that you want to explain.

Practice what you want to say

Knowing what you want to say and saying it can be two different things, so practicing your talking points out loud can help you be more confident and comfortable discussing the diagnosis, notes Dr. Lord.  “We advise parents to practice it five times before you go in. “

Lead with gratitude

Dr. Busman tells parents to begin the conversation by telling the grandparent or aunt or caregiver how grateful you are for the role they play in the child’s life. “Lead with the positive and lead with gratitude,” she says. So, if you’re talking to your sister, you might say, “You are such a great aunt. You mean so much to my child. I know you might not agree with the treatment I’ve pursued for them, but we really need you to support what we’re doing.”

Explain the diagnosis

As clearly as possible, explain the diagnosis to the family member or caregiver. Giving some concrete examples of the behaviors you are seeing can help, too. What’s the difference between a typical child and the behavior you’re seeing?

Invite questions

It’s important to say to the person, “I know you care about my kid and I want to hear what you think.” If you listen, then you get a lot of information about what the person does or doesn’t understand or what their concerns about treatment might be. You need to find out what their issues are in order to address them.

Outline the treatment

Whether you’re doingbehavioral therapy or medication, explain the basics to your family. This can also be an opportunity for you to discuss specific goals you are working on in treatment and ways that you (and your family) can help reinforce those goals. If you’ve seen some positive results, share that progress with the family member.

Be positive

“We tell parents all the time, tell your child what you want them to do rather than what you don’t want them to do,” Dr. Busman says. And that same idea applies to the people in your child’s life. “Don’t give people a bunch of things not to do. Give them a few tips of things they can do.” A lot of grandparents or caregivers or teachers who have different parenting styles will get on board if you just help them know what they’re supposed to do, such as how to praise and reinforce the behaviors your child is working on instead of responding to negative behavior.

Share the tools you’ve learned

Share the specifics of what you’ve learned from your child’s clinician and the skills you’ve been practicing with your child. Many of these skills will be unfamiliar to them. So, Dr. Busman says, you can say something like, “I’ve learned so many really helpful tools. Here are some of the tools I’ve learned.”

When in doubt, blame the therapist

When dealing with a skeptical person, Dr. Busman argues that it’s okay to put the “blame” on the therapist. You tell the person, “the psychologist said you need to stop talking like that, because it’s not helpful.” Many therapists are open to communicating directly with extended family or caregivers. “I’ve done Skype calls,” Dr. Busman says. “I’ve emailed with a person. I’ve had mom come in with grandma.”

Offer resources

You could also point them towards some reliable resources online. “If a child has a learning problem or an attention problem,” Dr. Busman explains, “the grandparent or the caregiver could find out some more specific details of what the child’s diagnosis or what their academic challenges mean so they understand it.” The Child Mind Institute has a large archive of articles about therapies and medications and how helpful they can be for kids when the clinician determines they’re needed. Other helpful sites might be Understood for kids with ADHD or learning disabilities, the Selective Mutism Association, the International OCD Foundation, the National Eating Disorders Association or Autism Speaks. Your child’s clinician may also have a fact sheet or particular resource that she recommends.

Protect your child

Sadly, there are some situations in which no matter how hard you try, you simply can’t get through to the adult in your child’s life. If that relationship is harming your child or undermining their treatment, you have to be prepared to distance your child from that unhealthy influence. “I worked with a family where the mother’s sister was saying really inappropriate stuff to the kid,” says Dr. Busman. “It was very devaluing of their anxiety, was making the mom feel like she was a really bad mom. It was very judgmental and really hurtful.”

In that case Dr. Busman took a firmer approach than usual, advising the parents to tell the aunt, “we’re not going to be able to see you if you’re speaking in this way, because it’s actually damaging.” But since ultimately everyone involved in the child’s life just wants what’s best for them, there’s usually a way to help the relative in your child’s life come around.

Photo by August de Richelieu on Pexels.com https://standingabovethecrowd.com/?p=14682

James Donaldson on Mental Health - How to Find a Telehealth Provider for Your Child

Strategies for parents seeking remote mental health treatment

Writer: Katherine Martinelli

What You'll Learn

- How do I get telehealth therapy for my child?
- What resources are available to help me find a provider?
- What kinds of things should I ask a provider?
- Quick Read
- Full Article
- Where to Look for Telehealth Providers
- How to Choose a Telehealth Provider

With telehealth treatment becoming mainstream, therapists now treat many of the same issues over calls or the internet that they do in-person. There are lots of ways to locate therapists who do telehealth with kids. You might want to start by asking your child’s pediatrician. Your insurance company also has a database of therapists. There are lots of websites aimed at specific disorders and simply doing an internet search that includes the words “telehealth session” and your child’s issue will turn up lots of options. Teaching hospitals and non-profit organizations like the American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry and others can be great places to find telehealth providers.

Once you’ve got a list of a few providers, the next step is to figure out whether they’re a good fit for your child and your family. Don’t be afraid to ask a lot of questions. You’ll probably want to know about their training and what kinds of treatment they offer. Since there’s technology involved, you might want to ask how remote sessions are different from in-person ones and how they protect your child’s privacy.

And then, just as with in-person sessions, there’s the question of money. You’ll want to know if the therapist takes your insurance, how much they charge and whether they are willing to adjust their fees if needed.

Those questions should leave you with a short list of therapists. Some may offer a free phone consultation. Others may charge for a first session. It’s important to keep looking until you find someone your child feels good talking to. You don’t have to feel bad about telling a therapist that you’re talking to a few different people.

Maybe you’ve been considering therapy for your child for a while now. Or maybe your child is experiencing new behavioral or emotional challenges as a result of the coronavirus crisis. Whatever your situation, you might be thinking that now would be a good time for your child to start working with a mental health provider. But with in-person treatment out of the question, where do you begin?

Right now, many mental health providers across the country have begun seeing patients online through what’s called telehealth. Telehealth is essentially therapy that happens over the internet instead of in person. Video calls are the most common medium, but telehealth sessions can also happen over the phone or via text chat. Just like in-person mental health treatment, telehealth can provide sessions for individuals, families or groups. Though the details of treatment may vary, telehealth sessions are generally available for most mental health conditions.

To learn more about telehealth, you can also read our 2020 Children’s Mental Health Report, which offers an overview of the latest research.

#James Donaldson notes:
Welcome to the “next chapter” of my life… being a voice and an advocate for #mentalhealthawarenessandsuicideprevention, especially pertaining to our younger generation of students and student-athletes.
Getting men to speak up and reach out for help and assistance is one of my passions. Us men need to not suffer in silence or drown our sorrows in alcohol, hang out at bars and strip joints, or get involved with drug use.
Having gone through a recent bout of #depression and #suicidalthoughts myself, I realize now, that I can make a huge difference in the lives of so many by sharing my story, and by sharing various resources I come across as I work in this space.  #http://bit.ly/JamesMentalHealthArticle
Find out more about the work I do on my 501c3 non-profit foundation
website www.yourgiftoflife.org Order your copy of James Donaldson's latest book,
#CelebratingYourGiftofLife: From The Verge of Suicide to a Life of Purpose and Joy

Click Here For More Information About James Donaldson

Where to Look for Telehealth Providers

Once you’ve decided that you’re ready to explore remote care options, how do you find a provider? Here are some places to look:

- Evaluators. If your child has already had a formal psychological evaluation, you can ask the evaluator for recommendations.
- Current providers: If you or your child already see a provider, you can ask if they offer remote options or know of any colleagues in their field or related ones who might.
- Pediatrician: Your child’s pediatrician is always a good first stop. They may keep a list of local providers you can check with.
- Your insurance provider: Often your insurance provider will have a searchable database of in-network providers. Some even have the ability to filter by providers who offer remote services.
- Universities and teaching hospitals: Many telehealth programs are run through universities and teaching hospitals, so it’s worth taking a look at some of the big ones in your state.
- Internet: It may sound basic, but a simple internet search is often a good place resource. Try searching for the kind of provider you want plus the word “remote” and your state to see what pops up.
- Parent groups: Online parent groups can offer a wealth of support and information. There are groups based on location as well as groups for parents of children with everydiagnosis under the sun. Connecting with other parents who have gone through this process already can provide solid recommendations — and help you feel supported, too.
- Professional organizations and nonprofits: Search for professional organizations and nonprofits associated with the type of care you’re looking for; they can often provide resources and suggestions. Here are some organizations that offer directories to providers and, in some cases, free hotlines to answer questions and provide support:
- American Psychological Association apa.org
- Association for Behavioral and Cognitive Therapies abct.org
- American Psychiatric Association http://finder.psychiatry.org/
- American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry (AACAP) https://www.aacap.org/AACAP/Families_and_Youth/Resources/CAP_Finder.aspx
- National Child Traumatic Stress Network https://www.nctsn.org/about-us/network-members
- Children and Adults with Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder (CHADD) https://chadd.org/professional-directory/
- Selective Mutism Association https://www.selectivemutism.org/
- National Eating Disorders Association https://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/
- Autism Speaks https://www.autismspeaks.org/
- Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA) https://findtreatment.samhsa.gov/

How to Choose a Telehealth Provider

Finding remote care is much like finding in-person care; you’re still looking for high quality and a good fit for your child.

When considering a remote provider, you can ask them many of the same questions you’d ask any potential provider:

- What is your training and experience?
- What kinds of treatment do you typically offer?
- How does remote treatment differ from in-person?
- What privacy measures are in place for remote sessions?
- Do you accept my insurance?
- What are your fees? Do you offer sliding scale or payment plans?

Then, once you’ve picked someone who seems like a good fit or narrowed it down to a couple of options, you can also consider the first session or two as something of a trial run. You can be open with providers about this, too. For instance, you might say: “We’re considering a few options right now, but we’d love to have a first session with you and see how it goes.” Providers are professionals; they understand how important a good fit is and they won’t take it personally if you decide to go another direction. Many providers also offer a free phone consultations, which can be a helpful way for you and your child to get a better sense of what it would be like to work with them.

https://standingabovethecrowd.com/james-donaldson-on-mental-health-how-to-find-a-telehealth-provider-for-your-child/

Strategies for parents seeking remote mental health treatment

Writer: Katherine Martinelli

What You'll Learn

- How do I get telehealth therapy for my child?

- What resources are available to help me find a provider?

- What kinds of things should I ask a provider?

- Quick Read

- Full Article

- Where to Look for Telehealth Providers

- How to Choose a Telehealth Provider

With telehealth treatment becoming mainstream, therapists now treat many of the same issues over calls or the internet that they do in-person. There are lots of ways to locate therapists who do telehealth with kids. You might want to start by asking your child’s pediatrician. Your insurance company also has a database of therapists. There are lots of websites aimed at specific disorders and simply doing an internet search that includes the words “telehealth session” and your child’s issue will turn up lots of options. Teaching hospitals and non-profit organizations like the American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry and others can be great places to find telehealth providers.

Once you’ve got a list of a few providers, the next step is to figure out whether they’re a good fit for your child and your family. Don’t be afraid to ask a lot of questions. You’ll probably want to know about their training and what kinds of treatment they offer. Since there’s technology involved, you might want to ask how remote sessions are different from in-person ones and how they protect your child’s privacy.

And then, just as with in-person sessions, there’s the question of money. You’ll want to know if the therapist takes your insurance, how much they charge and whether they are willing to adjust their fees if needed.

Those questions should leave you with a short list of therapists. Some may offer a free phone consultation. Others may charge for a first session. It’s important to keep looking until you find someone your child feels good talking to. You don’t have to feel bad about telling a therapist that you’re talking to a few different people.

Maybe you’ve been considering therapy for your child for a while now. Or maybe your child is experiencing new behavioral or emotional challenges as a result of the coronavirus crisis. Whatever your situation, you might be thinking that now would be a good time for your child to start working with a mental health provider. But with in-person treatment out of the question, where do you begin?

Right now, many mental health providers across the country have begun seeing patients online through what’s called telehealth. Telehealth is essentially therapy that happens over the internet instead of in person. Video calls are the most common medium, but telehealth sessions can also happen over the phone or via text chat. Just like in-person mental health treatment, telehealth can provide sessions for individuals, families or groups. Though the details of treatment may vary, telehealth sessions are generally available for most mental health conditions.

To learn more about telehealth, you can also read our 2020 Children’s Mental Health Report, which offers an overview of the latest research.

#James Donaldson notes:Welcome to the “next chapter” of my life… being a voice and an advocate for #mentalhealthawarenessandsuicideprevention, especially pertaining to our younger generation of students and student-athletes.Getting men to speak up and reach out for help and assistance is one of my passions. Us men need to not suffer in silence or drown our sorrows in alcohol, hang out at bars and strip joints, or get involved with drug use.Having gone through a recent bout of #depression and #suicidalthoughts myself, I realize now, that I can make a huge difference in the lives of so many by sharing my story, and by sharing various resources I come across as I work in this space.  #http://bit.ly/JamesMentalHealthArticleFind out more about the work I do on my 501c3 non-profit foundationwebsite www.yourgiftoflife.org Order your copy of James Donaldson's latest book,#CelebratingYourGiftofLife: From The Verge of Suicide to a Life of Purpose and Joy

Click Here For More Information About James Donaldson

Where to Look for Telehealth Providers

Once you’ve decided that you’re ready to explore remote care options, how do you find a provider? Here are some places to look:

- Evaluators. If your child has already had a formal psychological evaluation, you can ask the evaluator for recommendations.

- Current providers: If you or your child already see a provider, you can ask if they offer remote options or know of any colleagues in their field or related ones who might.

- Pediatrician: Your child’s pediatrician is always a good first stop. They may keep a list of local providers you can check with.

- Your insurance provider: Often your insurance provider will have a searchable database of in-network providers. Some even have the ability to filter by providers who offer remote services.

- Universities and teaching hospitals: Many telehealth programs are run through universities and teaching hospitals, so it’s worth taking a look at some of the big ones in your state.

- Internet: It may sound basic, but a simple internet search is often a good place resource. Try searching for the kind of provider you want plus the word “remote” and your state to see what pops up.

- Parent groups: Online parent groups can offer a wealth of support and information. There are groups based on location as well as groups for parents of children with everydiagnosis under the sun. Connecting with other parents who have gone through this process already can provide solid recommendations — and help you feel supported, too.

- Professional organizations and nonprofits: Search for professional organizations and nonprofits associated with the type of care you’re looking for; they can often provide resources and suggestions. Here are some organizations that offer directories to providers and, in some cases, free hotlines to answer questions and provide support:

- American Psychological Association apa.org

- Association for Behavioral and Cognitive Therapies abct.org

- American Psychiatric Association http://finder.psychiatry.org/

- American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry (AACAP) https://www.aacap.org/AACAP/Families_and_Youth/Resources/CAP_Finder.aspx

- National Child Traumatic Stress Network https://www.nctsn.org/about-us/network-members

- Children and Adults with Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder (CHADD) https://chadd.org/professional-directory/

- Selective Mutism Association https://www.selectivemutism.org/

- National Eating Disorders Association https://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/

- Autism Speaks https://www.autismspeaks.org/

- Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA) https://findtreatment.samhsa.gov/

How to Choose a Telehealth Provider

Finding remote care is much like finding in-person care; you’re still looking for high quality and a good fit for your child.

When considering a remote provider, you can ask them many of the same questions you’d ask any potential provider:

- What is your training and experience?

- What kinds of treatment do you typically offer?

- How does remote treatment differ from in-person?

- What privacy measures are in place for remote sessions?

- Do you accept my insurance?

- What are your fees? Do you offer sliding scale or payment plans?

Then, once you’ve picked someone who seems like a good fit or narrowed it down to a couple of options, you can also consider the first session or two as something of a trial run. You can be open with providers about this, too. For instance, you might say: “We’re considering a few options right now, but we’d love to have a first session with you and see how it goes.” Providers are professionals; they understand how important a good fit is and they won’t take it personally if you decide to go another direction. Many providers also offer a free phone consultations, which can be a helpful way for you and your child to get a better sense of what it would be like to work with them. https://standingabovethecrowd.com/james-donaldson-on-mental-health-how-to-find-a-telehealth-provider-for-your-child/

You Don't Have To Struggle In Silence https://youtube.com/shorts/YwnA6MRJJOY?feature=share

James Donaldson on Mental Health - The Role of Music in Managing Stress and Anxiety

Music has been a universal language for centuries, transcending cultural and linguistic barriers. But did you know it can also be a powerful ally in managing stress and anxiety? In this blog post, we'll explore how music can help soothe your mind, provide actionable tips on incorporating music into your stress-relief routine, and answer some frequently asked questions about the connection between music and mental health.

Table of Contents

- Music and the Brain
- Benefits of Music for Stress Relief
- How to Use Music to Manage Stress
- Conclusion
- FAQs about Music and Mental Health

Music and the Brain

When you listen to music, your brain releases dopamine, a neurotransmitter that plays a role in how we feel pleasure. This chemical reaction can induce feelings of happiness and relaxation, which is why music is often considered a natural antidote to stress and anxiety. Moreover, music can affect other brain chemicals like cortisol, which is directly linked to stress levels. Lower cortisol means less stress—and that's music to our ears!

Benefits of Music for Stress Relief

Here are some of the remarkable benefits music offers in the realm of stress and anxiety management:

1. Reduces Anxiety Levels: Listening to calming music can lower anxiety by promoting a sense of peace and tranquility.

2. Improves Sleep Quality: Gentle, slow-tempo music can help you fall asleep faster and improve the quality of your sleep.

3. Enhances Mood: Upbeat music can elevate your mood, making it a great tool for combating depression.

4. Boosts Concentration: Instrumental music can improve focus and concentration, helping to alleviate the stress of a busy mind.

How to Use Music to Manage Stress

Integrating music into your daily routine for stress management is both easy and enjoyable. Here’s how you can start:

Create a Playlist: Curate a playlist of your favorite calming tracks. Include a mix of classical, ambient, or nature sounds to create a soothing atmosphere.

Mindful Listening: Dedicate a few minutes each day to listen to music mindfully. Focus on the melody, instruments, and lyrics, allowing yourself to drift away from stressors.

Music Meditation: Combine music with meditation for a double dose of relaxation. Use tracks specifically designed for meditation to enhance your practice.

Dance It Out: Sometimes, moving your body to upbeat music can be a great stress reliever. Dance like no one's watching and let those endorphins flow!

#James Donaldson notes:
Welcome to the “next chapter” of my life… being a voice and an advocate for #mentalhealthawarenessandsuicideprevention, especially pertaining to our younger generation of students and student-athletes.
Getting men to speak up and reach out for help and assistance is one of my passions. Us men need to not suffer in silence or drown our sorrows in alcohol, hang out at bars and strip joints, or get involved with drug use.
Having gone through a recent bout of #depression and #suicidalthoughts myself, I realize now, that I can make a huge difference in the lives of so many by sharing my story, and by sharing various resources I come across as I work in this space.  #http://bit.ly/JamesMentalHealthArticle
Find out more about the work I do on my 501c3 non-profit foundation
website www.yourgiftoflife.org Order your copy of James Donaldson's latest book,
#CelebratingYourGiftofLife: From The Verge of Suicide to a Life of Purpose and Joy

Click Here For More Information About James Donaldson

Conclusion

Music is not just entertainment; it's a healing tool that can transform your mental landscape. By understanding how to harness its power, you can effectively manage stress and anxiety, leading to a more balanced and joyful life. So next time you feel overwhelmed, put on your favorite track and let the music work its magic.

FAQs about Music and Mental Health

Q1: Can any type of music help reduce stress?

Yes, but it largely depends on personal preference. Generally, slower, softer music is more effective in reducing stress, while upbeat music can boost your mood.

Q2: How long should I listen to music for it to be effective in stress relief?

Even a short duration, like 10-15 minutes, can be beneficial. However, listening for longer periods can have more profound effects.

Q3: Is there a specific genre of music best for stress relief?

Genres like classical, ambient, and jazz are often recommended, but it ultimately depends on what resonates with you personally.

Q4: Can listening to music replace other stress management techniques?

While music is a powerful tool, it's best used in conjunction with other stress management techniques like exercise, meditation, and healthy eating.

Q5: Should I listen to music with lyrics or instrumental for anxiety relief?

Instrumental music is often preferred for anxiety relief as lyrics can sometimes be distracting. However, if lyrical music relaxes you, it’s perfectly fine to enjoy it.

We hope this guide helps you use music as a soothing balm for your mind and soul. Happy listening!

https://standingabovethecrowd.com/the-role-of-music-in-managing-stress-and-anxiety-2/

Music has been a universal language for centuries, transcending cultural and linguistic barriers. But did you know it can also be a powerful ally in managing stress and anxiety? In this blog post, we'll explore how music can help soothe your mind, provide actionable tips on incorporating music into your stress-relief routine, and answer some frequently asked questions about the connection between music and mental health.

Table of Contents

- Music and the Brain

- Benefits of Music for Stress Relief

- How to Use Music to Manage Stress

- Conclusion

- FAQs about Music and Mental Health

Music and the Brain

When you listen to music, your brain releases dopamine, a neurotransmitter that plays a role in how we feel pleasure. This chemical reaction can induce feelings of happiness and relaxation, which is why music is often considered a natural antidote to stress and anxiety. Moreover, music can affect other brain chemicals like cortisol, which is directly linked to stress levels. Lower cortisol means less stress—and that's music to our ears!

Benefits of Music for Stress Relief

Here are some of the remarkable benefits music offers in the realm of stress and anxiety management:

1. Reduces Anxiety Levels: Listening to calming music can lower anxiety by promoting a sense of peace and tranquility.

2. Improves Sleep Quality: Gentle, slow-tempo music can help you fall asleep faster and improve the quality of your sleep.

3. Enhances Mood: Upbeat music can elevate your mood, making it a great tool for combating depression.

4. Boosts Concentration: Instrumental music can improve focus and concentration, helping to alleviate the stress of a busy mind.

How to Use Music to Manage Stress

Integrating music into your daily routine for stress management is both easy and enjoyable. Here’s how you can start:

Create a Playlist: Curate a playlist of your favorite calming tracks. Include a mix of classical, ambient, or nature sounds to create a soothing atmosphere.

Mindful Listening: Dedicate a few minutes each day to listen to music mindfully. Focus on the melody, instruments, and lyrics, allowing yourself to drift away from stressors.

Music Meditation: Combine music with meditation for a double dose of relaxation. Use tracks specifically designed for meditation to enhance your practice.

Dance It Out: Sometimes, moving your body to upbeat music can be a great stress reliever. Dance like no one's watching and let those endorphins flow!

#James Donaldson notes:Welcome to the “next chapter” of my life… being a voice and an advocate for #mentalhealthawarenessandsuicideprevention, especially pertaining to our younger generation of students and student-athletes.Getting men to speak up and reach out for help and assistance is one of my passions. Us men need to not suffer in silence or drown our sorrows in alcohol, hang out at bars and strip joints, or get involved with drug use.Having gone through a recent bout of #depression and #suicidalthoughts myself, I realize now, that I can make a huge difference in the lives of so many by sharing my story, and by sharing various resources I come across as I work in this space.  #http://bit.ly/JamesMentalHealthArticleFind out more about the work I do on my 501c3 non-profit foundationwebsite www.yourgiftoflife.org Order your copy of James Donaldson's latest book,#CelebratingYourGiftofLife: From The Verge of Suicide to a Life of Purpose and Joy

Click Here For More Information About James Donaldson

Conclusion

Music is not just entertainment; it's a healing tool that can transform your mental landscape. By understanding how to harness its power, you can effectively manage stress and anxiety, leading to a more balanced and joyful life. So next time you feel overwhelmed, put on your favorite track and let the music work its magic.

FAQs about Music and Mental Health

Q1: Can any type of music help reduce stress?

Yes, but it largely depends on personal preference. Generally, slower, softer music is more effective in reducing stress, while upbeat music can boost your mood.

Q2: How long should I listen to music for it to be effective in stress relief?

Even a short duration, like 10-15 minutes, can be beneficial. However, listening for longer periods can have more profound effects.

Q3: Is there a specific genre of music best for stress relief?

Genres like classical, ambient, and jazz are often recommended, but it ultimately depends on what resonates with you personally.

Q4: Can listening to music replace other stress management techniques?

While music is a powerful tool, it's best used in conjunction with other stress management techniques like exercise, meditation, and healthy eating.

Q5: Should I listen to music with lyrics or instrumental for anxiety relief?

Instrumental music is often preferred for anxiety relief as lyrics can sometimes be distracting. However, if lyrical music relaxes you, it’s perfectly fine to enjoy it.

We hope this guide helps you use music as a soothing balm for your mind and soul. Happy listening! https://standingabovethecrowd.com/the-role-of-music-in-managing-stress-and-anxiety-2/

You Deserve To Be Heard https://youtube.com/shorts/fR989lpWvEo?feature=share

James Donaldson on Mental Health - Back-to-School Anxiety

How to help kids manage worries and have a successful start to the school year

Writer: Caroline Miller

Clinical Expert: Rachel Busman, PsyD, ABPPen Español

What You'll Learn

- Why do some kids get anxious about starting school again?
- How can parents help their children overcome back to school anxiety?
- What are signs that an anxious kids might need more support?
- Quick Read
- Full Article
- Take your own temperature
- Listen to worries
- Do some test runs
- Let someone know
- Arrange for a hand-off
- When separation problems persist
- Stomachaches and headaches
- School refusal

Going back to school is exciting for some kids, but others have trouble with anxiety heading into the new school year. This is especially true of kids who are starting at a new school or are already anxious about being away from parents. This anxiety fades for most kids as the school year goes on, but parents can help them get off to a good start. 

First, check in with yourself. Kids can tell if you’re nervous about school starting, so managing your own stress is a good way to help them feel calm too. Then, be sure to really listen to kids’ worries. Often, kids just need a little validation (“I know how hard it is to get to know a new teacher”) to feel better. You can also help them make plans for handling anything specific they’re worried about.  

If your child is very nervous about the first day, see if you can bring your child to the school ahead of time to walk around together and figure out where everything is. Meeting the teacher early can also help. Another idea is to plan a hand-off on the first morning, where a friend or school staff member is ready to meet your child and give them something to do right away. And when your child does get through the tough moment of separation, be sure to praise them later: “Great job heading straight to class this morning!” 

 If your child’s anxiety doesn’t go away and interferes with school, it may be time to get support from a mental health professional. Some kids develop anxious headaches or stomachaches about school or even refuse to go altogether. A mental health professional can help you figure out why your child is struggling and provide the support they need. 

The start of the new school year is exciting for most kids. But it also prompts a spike in anxiety: Even kids who are usually pretty easy-going get butterflies, and kids prone to anxiety get clingier and more nervous than usual. Parents feel the pain, too: Leaving a crying child at preschool isn’t anyone’s idea of fun. And having to talk a panicked first grader onto the bus or out of the car at school can be a real test of your diplomatic skills.

Kids who normally have a little trouble separating from mom and dad will see their anxiety peak during times of stress or transition, notes Rachel Busman, PsyD, a clinical psychologist who specializes in anxiety. The start of school may be especially challenging for kids who are entering a transition year, she adds — going into kindergarten, into middle school, to a new school. It can also be stressful if there’s a change in your child’s social support system — maybe a good friend has moved, or has a different teacher this year.

For most kids the new-school-year worries will fade and the anxious behaviors will be transient, Dr. Busman adds. The goal for parents is to be supportive without exacerbating your child’s worries. Here are tips for helping nervous kids have a successful transition back to school.

Take your own temperature

For parents, the start of the year can be anxiety inducing, too, Dr. Busman notes. The pressure’s on you to reinstate routines after the summer break and arrange for new activities and schedules, not to speak of facing the resumption of homework.

Dr. Busman recommends taking your own temperature to make sure you’re not passing on stress to your kids. And to enable you to manage your own stress, she says, it’s important not to take on more commitments than the family can handle comfortably. “I think there’s a contagion effect that we have to be careful of,” she adds.

Listen to worries

When kids express anxiety about going back to school — a new teacher, increases in homework, making a team, a friend crisis — do listen seriously.

Rather than dismissing these fears (“Nothing to be worried about! You’ll be fine!) listening to them and acknowledging your child’s feelings will help them feel more secure. And if they want to, you can bolster their confidence by helping them strategize about how to handle things they’re concerned about.

But keep in mind that kids often want to be able to talk about something they’re upset about without expecting you to fix them. Your job is validate their feelings (“I know that’s hard”) and demonstrate confidence that they can handle the situation.

Don’t ask questions that suggest you expect kids to be anxious (“Are you worried about having Mr. Connelly for math?”) but check in with them in a more casual way. “It doesn’t have to be a half-hour discussion,” notes Dr. Busman, “but in the car on the way to get a new backpack, you might ask “Do you know what you’re going to be learning in math this year?” Kids often say more when there is less pressure to “have a talk.”

Do some test runs

If you anticipate that your child will be seriously nervous on the first day, it helps to give them time to get used to the new school or new classroom in advance. Go to the school several times before school starts, and do as much walking the halls as you can, to locate their classroom, the lavatory, the cafeteria, the playground. Repetition is good; going by again just to ask a question at the office, or drop off a form, gives them more chances to get comfortable being there.

If you can, introduce them to their teacher. Let them practice staying in the classroom a few minutes while you walk down the hall to drop off a note the nurse’s office.

Even driving to the school on the weekend and having them practice getting out of the car at the drop-off point can help them get familiar with that routine.

“Any opportunity for exposure, for repetition, for mastery is going to help them do what we call ‘coping ahead,’ ” Dr. Busman notes.

Let someone know

If your child needs extra support to make a successful transition, let someone at school know — their teacher, an aide, the school psychologist or the school nurse. You want to communicate that your child is looking forward to school and is excited — you’re sure they’ll be fine — but they will be much more comfortable if they can meet the teacher briefly and see the classroom before the crowded, chaotic first day, when all the other kids will be there.

You’re not asking for a lot — just a little exposure that will set them up to succeed. And you’d like the staff to be alert to signs that they might need an assist.

Arrange for a hand-off

If you think your child will be reluctant to separate, it’s very helpful to have someone primed to meet and engage them when you arrive. The teacher may be too overwhelmed to pay special attention to your child, Dr. Busman notes, “but maybe they have a buddy in the class, or you could ask an aide, the nurse, the school psychologist, to plan for a handoff.”

What you want that person to do is not to talk about or dwell on their anxiety, she explains, but to engage your child in some activity. Asking the child for help is a good way to do that — “Can you help me carry all the magnet tiles over to this bin?”

Giving the child a role is transparent, Dr. Busman notes. “They’re not pretending the parents aren’t leaving, but they’re helping your child get involved in the classroom, be part of the community. Kids for the most part love to please adults and want to be part of the activity, so it can really help take their minds off anxiety.”

When separation problems persist

Leaving a child who is crying or whining at school is a tough thing for any parent to do. “But most kids are pretty resilient,” Dr. Busman notes, “and we don’t want to underestimate their ability to cope. Most kids recover quickly once mom or dad leaves.”

If your child’s teacher reports that they bounce back and participate enthusiastically in activities during the day, the best way to help them get more confident about separating from you is not worrying too much about their complaints.

“It’s not being a bad parent to ignore a little bit of whining or reluctance,” says Dr. Busman. “It will actually help a child move beyond it if you give more attention to things that you do want to see them do.”

You want to give specific praise for brave behavior. For example, remind them you will be back to get them and tell them things like, “Great job coming to preschool today. When I pick you up I hope you’ll tell me something fun you did.”

“The way we as adults interact and react is so important: a little bit of active ignoring, a little bit of positive attention and a lot of encouragement,” Dr. Busman notes.

If kids continue to have full-blown separation problems, and fears that something bad will happen to their parents interfere with their ability to function in school, they should be evaluated by a mental health professional.

#James Donaldson notes:
Welcome to the “next chapter” of my life… being a voice and an advocate for #mentalhealthawarenessandsuicideprevention, especially pertaining to our younger generation of students and student-athletes.
Getting men to speak up and reach out for help and assistance is one of my passions. Us men need to not suffer in silence or drown our sorrows in alcohol, hang out at bars and strip joints, or get involved with drug use.
Having gone through a recent bout of #depression and #suicidalthoughts myself, I realize now, that I can make a huge difference in the lives of so many by sharing my story, and by sharing various resources I come across as I work in this space.  #http://bit.ly/JamesMentalHealthArticle
Find out more about the work I do on my 501c3 non-profit foundation
website www.yourgiftoflife.org Order your copy of James Donaldson's latest book,
#CelebratingYourGiftofLife: From The Verge of Suicide to a Life of Purpose and Joy

Click Here For More Information About James Donaldson

Stomachaches and headaches

Anxiety about school sometimes takes the form of headaches and stomachaches in the morning that kids say make them too sick to go to school. If your child develops a pattern of these symptoms, it’s important to get your child checked out by a pediatrician; you don’t want to overlook a medical problem.

But if the pattern persists, going to school may be the problem.

The most important thing a parent can do when kids resist going is to continue sending them to school anyway. This may be difficult, but if we allow children to avoid situations that make them anxious, we can inadvertently reinforce that those situations are indeed dangerous or scary.

But if a child continues to complain about physical symptoms, it’s also important to investigate what might be causing anxiety. It could be sign of an anxiety disorder, or another problem at school. For instance:

- A child with OCD might avoid going to school because it’s hard for them to manage their anxiety there
- A child who’s been bullied may be afraid to go to school because their tormenters are there
- A child with separation anxiety might be afraid something terrible will happen to mom if they’re apart
- A child with an undiagnosed learning disorder might be avoiding shame and embarrassment

School refusal

When stomachaches and headaches and other reasons not to go to school — or to go late or leave early — become persistent, a child may have developed what’s called school refusal.

“Everyone resists going to school once in a while, butschool refusal is an extreme pattern of avoiding school that causes real problems for a child,” says Dr. Busman. School refusal is distinguished from normal avoidance by a number of factors:

- How long a child has been avoiding school
- How much distress they associate with attending school
- How strongly they resist
- How much their resistance is interfering with their (and their family’s) life

If a child’s resistance to school is overwhelming and prolonged, they should be evaluated by a mental health professional, and it’s good to proactive rather than waiting months for it to pass. “Unfortunately, the longer a child misses school, the harder it is to get back in the routine,” Dr. Busman notes, “because being absent reinforces the anxiety that is keeping them away.”

Frequently Asked Questions

How can I calm back-to-school anxiety?How can I help a child with school anxiety?

You can help a child with school anxiety by modeling stress management. When your child expresses anxiety about going back to school, listen and take it seriously rather than dismissing their fears. Acknowledging their concerns can make them feel more secure. Then, you can help them strategize how to handle the things they are concerned about.

https://standingabovethecrowd.com/james-donaldson-on-mental-health-back-to-school-anxiety-3/

How to help kids manage worries and have a successful start to the school year

Writer: Caroline Miller

Clinical Expert: Rachel Busman, PsyD, ABPPen Español

What You'll Learn

- Why do some kids get anxious about starting school again?

- How can parents help their children overcome back to school anxiety?

- What are signs that an anxious kids might need more support?

- Quick Read

- Full Article

- Take your own temperature

- Listen to worries

- Do some test runs

- Let someone know

- Arrange for a hand-off

- When separation problems persist

- Stomachaches and headaches

- School refusal

Going back to school is exciting for some kids, but others have trouble with anxiety heading into the new school year. This is especially true of kids who are starting at a new school or are already anxious about being away from parents. This anxiety fades for most kids as the school year goes on, but parents can help them get off to a good start. 

First, check in with yourself. Kids can tell if you’re nervous about school starting, so managing your own stress is a good way to help them feel calm too. Then, be sure to really listen to kids’ worries. Often, kids just need a little validation (“I know how hard it is to get to know a new teacher”) to feel better. You can also help them make plans for handling anything specific they’re worried about.  

If your child is very nervous about the first day, see if you can bring your child to the school ahead of time to walk around together and figure out where everything is. Meeting the teacher early can also help. Another idea is to plan a hand-off on the first morning, where a friend or school staff member is ready to meet your child and give them something to do right away. And when your child does get through the tough moment of separation, be sure to praise them later: “Great job heading straight to class this morning!” 

 If your child’s anxiety doesn’t go away and interferes with school, it may be time to get support from a mental health professional. Some kids develop anxious headaches or stomachaches about school or even refuse to go altogether. A mental health professional can help you figure out why your child is struggling and provide the support they need. 

The start of the new school year is exciting for most kids. But it also prompts a spike in anxiety: Even kids who are usually pretty easy-going get butterflies, and kids prone to anxiety get clingier and more nervous than usual. Parents feel the pain, too: Leaving a crying child at preschool isn’t anyone’s idea of fun. And having to talk a panicked first grader onto the bus or out of the car at school can be a real test of your diplomatic skills.

Kids who normally have a little trouble separating from mom and dad will see their anxiety peak during times of stress or transition, notes Rachel Busman, PsyD, a clinical psychologist who specializes in anxiety. The start of school may be especially challenging for kids who are entering a transition year, she adds — going into kindergarten, into middle school, to a new school. It can also be stressful if there’s a change in your child’s social support system — maybe a good friend has moved, or has a different teacher this year.

For most kids the new-school-year worries will fade and the anxious behaviors will be transient, Dr. Busman adds. The goal for parents is to be supportive without exacerbating your child’s worries. Here are tips for helping nervous kids have a successful transition back to school.

Take your own temperature

For parents, the start of the year can be anxiety inducing, too, Dr. Busman notes. The pressure’s on you to reinstate routines after the summer break and arrange for new activities and schedules, not to speak of facing the resumption of homework.

Dr. Busman recommends taking your own temperature to make sure you’re not passing on stress to your kids. And to enable you to manage your own stress, she says, it’s important not to take on more commitments than the family can handle comfortably. “I think there’s a contagion effect that we have to be careful of,” she adds.

Listen to worries

When kids express anxiety about going back to school — a new teacher, increases in homework, making a team, a friend crisis — do listen seriously.

Rather than dismissing these fears (“Nothing to be worried about! You’ll be fine!) listening to them and acknowledging your child’s feelings will help them feel more secure. And if they want to, you can bolster their confidence by helping them strategize about how to handle things they’re concerned about.

But keep in mind that kids often want to be able to talk about something they’re upset about without expecting you to fix them. Your job is validate their feelings (“I know that’s hard”) and demonstrate confidence that they can handle the situation.

Don’t ask questions that suggest you expect kids to be anxious (“Are you worried about having Mr. Connelly for math?”) but check in with them in a more casual way. “It doesn’t have to be a half-hour discussion,” notes Dr. Busman, “but in the car on the way to get a new backpack, you might ask “Do you know what you’re going to be learning in math this year?” Kids often say more when there is less pressure to “have a talk.”

Do some test runs

If you anticipate that your child will be seriously nervous on the first day, it helps to give them time to get used to the new school or new classroom in advance. Go to the school several times before school starts, and do as much walking the halls as you can, to locate their classroom, the lavatory, the cafeteria, the playground. Repetition is good; going by again just to ask a question at the office, or drop off a form, gives them more chances to get comfortable being there.

If you can, introduce them to their teacher. Let them practice staying in the classroom a few minutes while you walk down the hall to drop off a note the nurse’s office.

Even driving to the school on the weekend and having them practice getting out of the car at the drop-off point can help them get familiar with that routine.

“Any opportunity for exposure, for repetition, for mastery is going to help them do what we call ‘coping ahead,’ ” Dr. Busman notes.

Let someone know

If your child needs extra support to make a successful transition, let someone at school know — their teacher, an aide, the school psychologist or the school nurse. You want to communicate that your child is looking forward to school and is excited — you’re sure they’ll be fine — but they will be much more comfortable if they can meet the teacher briefly and see the classroom before the crowded, chaotic first day, when all the other kids will be there.

You’re not asking for a lot — just a little exposure that will set them up to succeed. And you’d like the staff to be alert to signs that they might need an assist.

Arrange for a hand-off

If you think your child will be reluctant to separate, it’s very helpful to have someone primed to meet and engage them when you arrive. The teacher may be too overwhelmed to pay special attention to your child, Dr. Busman notes, “but maybe they have a buddy in the class, or you could ask an aide, the nurse, the school psychologist, to plan for a handoff.”

What you want that person to do is not to talk about or dwell on their anxiety, she explains, but to engage your child in some activity. Asking the child for help is a good way to do that — “Can you help me carry all the magnet tiles over to this bin?”

Giving the child a role is transparent, Dr. Busman notes. “They’re not pretending the parents aren’t leaving, but they’re helping your child get involved in the classroom, be part of the community. Kids for the most part love to please adults and want to be part of the activity, so it can really help take their minds off anxiety.”

When separation problems persist

Leaving a child who is crying or whining at school is a tough thing for any parent to do. “But most kids are pretty resilient,” Dr. Busman notes, “and we don’t want to underestimate their ability to cope. Most kids recover quickly once mom or dad leaves.”

If your child’s teacher reports that they bounce back and participate enthusiastically in activities during the day, the best way to help them get more confident about separating from you is not worrying too much about their complaints.

“It’s not being a bad parent to ignore a little bit of whining or reluctance,” says Dr. Busman. “It will actually help a child move beyond it if you give more attention to things that you do want to see them do.”

You want to give specific praise for brave behavior. For example, remind them you will be back to get them and tell them things like, “Great job coming to preschool today. When I pick you up I hope you’ll tell me something fun you did.”

“The way we as adults interact and react is so important: a little bit of active ignoring, a little bit of positive attention and a lot of encouragement,” Dr. Busman notes.

If kids continue to have full-blown separation problems, and fears that something bad will happen to their parents interfere with their ability to function in school, they should be evaluated by a mental health professional.

#James Donaldson notes:Welcome to the “next chapter” of my life… being a voice and an advocate for #mentalhealthawarenessandsuicideprevention, especially pertaining to our younger generation of students and student-athletes.Getting men to speak up and reach out for help and assistance is one of my passions. Us men need to not suffer in silence or drown our sorrows in alcohol, hang out at bars and strip joints, or get involved with drug use.Having gone through a recent bout of #depression and #suicidalthoughts myself, I realize now, that I can make a huge difference in the lives of so many by sharing my story, and by sharing various resources I come across as I work in this space.  #http://bit.ly/JamesMentalHealthArticleFind out more about the work I do on my 501c3 non-profit foundationwebsite www.yourgiftoflife.org Order your copy of James Donaldson's latest book,#CelebratingYourGiftofLife: From The Verge of Suicide to a Life of Purpose and Joy

Click Here For More Information About James Donaldson

Stomachaches and headaches

Anxiety about school sometimes takes the form of headaches and stomachaches in the morning that kids say make them too sick to go to school. If your child develops a pattern of these symptoms, it’s important to get your child checked out by a pediatrician; you don’t want to overlook a medical problem.

But if the pattern persists, going to school may be the problem.

The most important thing a parent can do when kids resist going is to continue sending them to school anyway. This may be difficult, but if we allow children to avoid situations that make them anxious, we can inadvertently reinforce that those situations are indeed dangerous or scary.

But if a child continues to complain about physical symptoms, it’s also important to investigate what might be causing anxiety. It could be sign of an anxiety disorder, or another problem at school. For instance:

- A child with OCD might avoid going to school because it’s hard for them to manage their anxiety there

- A child who’s been bullied may be afraid to go to school because their tormenters are there

- A child with separation anxiety might be afraid something terrible will happen to mom if they’re apart

- A child with an undiagnosed learning disorder might be avoiding shame and embarrassment

School refusal

When stomachaches and headaches and other reasons not to go to school — or to go late or leave early — become persistent, a child may have developed what’s called school refusal.

“Everyone resists going to school once in a while, butschool refusal is an extreme pattern of avoiding school that causes real problems for a child,” says Dr. Busman. School refusal is distinguished from normal avoidance by a number of factors:

- How long a child has been avoiding school

- How much distress they associate with attending school

- How strongly they resist

- How much their resistance is interfering with their (and their family’s) life

If a child’s resistance to school is overwhelming and prolonged, they should be evaluated by a mental health professional, and it’s good to proactive rather than waiting months for it to pass. “Unfortunately, the longer a child misses school, the harder it is to get back in the routine,” Dr. Busman notes, “because being absent reinforces the anxiety that is keeping them away.”

Frequently Asked Questions

How can I calm back-to-school anxiety?How can I help a child with school anxiety?

You can help a child with school anxiety by modeling stress management. When your child expresses anxiety about going back to school, listen and take it seriously rather than dismissing their fears. Acknowledging their concerns can make them feel more secure. Then, you can help them strategize how to handle the things they are concerned about. https://standingabovethecrowd.com/james-donaldson-on-mental-health-back-to-school-anxiety-3/

There Is Strength In Seeking Support https://youtube.com/shorts/_v4A7o5QTZM?feature=share

In today's fast-paced world, creating a supportive environment for mental health in classrooms is more important than ever. This guide will walk you through practical steps to foster a mental health-friendly atmosphere for students. Whether you're a teacher, administrator, or a parent, these strategies can help nurture a positive learning space.

Table of Contents

1. Introduction2. Understanding Mental Health in Schools3. Designing a Calming Classroom Environment4. Encouraging Open Communication 5. Implementing Mindfulness and Relaxation Techniques 6. Providing Access to Resources and Support7. Conclusion8. FAQs

Understanding Mental Health in Schools

Mental health impacts every aspect of a student's life, from academic performance to social interactions. Acknowledging and understanding this is the first step toward creating a supportive classroom. Educators should aim to recognize signs of mental health struggles and respond with empathy and appropriate resources.

Designing a Calming Classroom Environment

The physical environment of a classroom can significantly influence a student's mood and focus. Consider using soft lighting, calming colors, and organized spaces to create a serene atmosphere. Adding plants or nature-themed decorations can also promote a sense of peace and well-being.

Encouraging Open Communication

Fostering an environment where students feel comfortable expressing their thoughts and feelings is crucial. Encourage open dialogue by holding regular class meetings or one-on-one check-ins. It's essential to listen actively and validate their feelings, showing them that they are heard and supported.

Implementing Mindfulness and Relaxation Techniques

Introducing simple mindfulness exercises can help students manage stress and improve concentration. Start the day with a brief meditation session or incorporate breathing exercises into the daily routine. These practices can equip students with tools to handle anxiety and increase their emotional resilience.

Providing Access to Resources and Support

Ensure that students have access to mental health resources, such as counseling services or helplines. Educators can also invite mental health professionals to talk to the class about coping strategies and mental well-being. Having visible support systems can reassure students that help is available if needed.

Conclusion

Creating a mental health-friendly classroom is an ongoing process that requires commitment and empathy. By designing a calming environment, encouraging open communication, and providing resources, educators can support their students' mental well-being effectively. Remember, small changes can lead to significant improvements in a student's life.

FAQs

1. How can I recognize mental health issues in students?

Look for changes in behavior, mood swings, withdrawal from social interactions, or a decline in academic performance. It's important to approach any concerns with care and sensitivity.

2. What are some quick mindfulness activities I can use in the classroom?

Try deep breathing exercises, a 5-minute guided meditation, or a gratitude journal exercise. These activities can be easily integrated into the school day.

3. How can parents support a mental health-friendly classroom?

Parents can collaborate with teachers by reinforcing the importance of mental health at home and staying informed about available resources and support systems.

4. Are there specific resources for teachers on mental health?

Yes, many organizations offer training and resources for educators, such as the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) and Mental Health America (MHA).

5. How often should I check in with students about their mental health?

Regularly scheduled check-ins, such as weekly or bi-weekly, can help build trust and provide consistent support for students. https://standingabovethecrowd.com/?p=14665