James Donaldson on Mental Health - Why Do Kids Have Trouble With Transitions?

Being asked to switch gears is a common trigger for problem behavior like whining and tantrums

Photo by samer daboul on Pexels.com

Writer: Katherine Martinelli

Clinical Expert: Dave Anderson, PhD

What You'll Learn

- Why are transitions difficult for many children?
- Why do kids often act out when they’re asked to change activities?
- What kinds of challenges can make transitions harder for kids?
- Quick Read
- Full Article
- What does trouble with transitions look like?
- What’s behind transition problems?
- ADHD
- Autism
- Sensory processing challenges
- Anxiety

Dealing with change is often difficult for children, even if the change is just leaving the playground for the day or switching from art to math in school. Being asked to change activities or locations is often a trigger for behavior like whining, complaining, or throwing tantrums. Kids may not be able to handle the big emotions that can come with transitions. And they might learn that by stalling, they get to avoid the change for a bit longer.

Transitions are often especially hard for kids with emotional or developmental issues. While the behaviors that transitions trigger may look the same on the surface, the reasons for these behaviors can vary a lot.

Children with ADHD have a hard time switching their attention from one thing to another. It makes sense, then, that they may become upset during transitions. This is especially true if they need to stop doing something that is particularly rewarding for them, since their brains react strongly to rewards.

Children with autism have a hard time transitioning from one thing to another because they prefer routine and predictability. Anything that takes them out of their routine can feel overwhelming. It’s the same thing for children with sensory processing challenges. The world often feels overwhelming to them in general, so having to handle something new can be even harder.

For children with anxiety, fear might be behind trouble with transitions. They might be afraid of what comes next, like socializing or separating from parents or a subject they have trouble with. Similarly, children with OCD may feel anxious if they can’t finish what they’re doing perfectly. If a transition interrupts a compulsive behavior (like lining up all their toys just right), they might get very upset.

Whatever the cause, understanding why transitions are hard for your child is the first step to making them easier.

Humans are creatures of habit. Even when we welcome it, change takes more energy. So perhaps it’s not surprising that children often find it difficult to make transitions between activities, places, and objects of attention. Being asked to stop one thing and start another is a very common trigger for problem behavior, especially for kids who have emotional or developmental challenges.

“Transitions are hard for everybody,” says David Anderson, PhD, a clinical psychologist at the Child Mind Institute. “One of the reasons why transitions may be hard is that we’re often transitioning from a preferred activity — something we like doing — to something that we need to do.”

What does trouble with transitions look like?

Difficulty with transitions can manifest in a number of ways depending on the child and the setting. It can take the form of resistance, avoidance, distraction, negotiation, or a full-blown meltdown. Some of these reactions are the result of kids being overwhelmed by their emotions. And some are what they’ve learned works to successfully delay or avoid the transition.

A child told it’s time to leave the playground might throw a tantrum initially because they can’t manage their anger or frustration, but if they’ve found that it has worked to delay leaving the park, they’re more likely to do it again. “It really depends on how the adults in their life have responded,” says Matthew Rouse, PhD, a clinical psychologist. Other kids may not tantrum but instead master the art of whining, distracting, or negotiating with the adults in their life.

What’s behind transition problems?

While transitions are triggers for lots of kids — what parent hasn’t gotten resistance from a child being asked to stop playing a video game and come to dinner? — they are particularly difficult for kids with emotional and developmental issues. And while the behaviors may be the same, experts point out that the reasons behind the behavior are different for kids with different challenges. Here we look at why children withADHD, anxiety, autism, and sensory processing issues, find transitions particularly difficult.

ADHD

For kids with ADHD, it all comes down to what they perceive as rewarding, says Dr. Rouse. While the disorder is described as an attention deficit, experts say it may be more useful to think about it as difficulty regulating attention — turning your attention to something you are expected to do, rather than something that you find rewarding.

“Kids with ADHD have fewer neurons in their reward centers, or neurons that aren’t as active in the reward centers of their brains, so they find things throughout their day less rewarding,” he explains. When they do find something rewarding, they tend to hyper-focus on it, which explains why someone with ADHD seems all over the place but then can play video games for hours. Ask them to do something less rewarding (like putting away Legos), and you might hit resistance.

Michael Rosenthal, PhD, a clinical neuropsychologist, adds that children with ADHD have a tougher time managing their emotions than other kids do. “There’s also research that shows that the wiring in the brain centers that are involved in helping kids exercise control over their emotions are less developed, so you get bigger emotional displays from them compared to kids who don’t have ADHD.”

Autism

Although transitions can be similarly challenging for kids with autism, the reactions tend to be more extreme, and the issue is rooted in a different difficulty. “For kids with autism,” says Dr. Rosenthal, “the world is just an incredibly confusing and overwhelming place, so the need for sameness and predictability is adaptive,” or practical. It’s not simply that changing activities is upsetting, it’s that any deviation from the routine can feel like the rug is being pulled out from under them.

Dr. Rosenthal refers to this ascognitive inflexibility, and says that it also explains why those on the autism spectrum have hyper-focused interests and tend to prefer doing the same things in the same order. “Any unexpected changes or transition for a kid with autism disrupts their equilibrium.”

Sensory processing challenges

Although sensory processing is not a diagnostic term like ADHD or autism, kids with either disorder — or no disorder — can have sensory processing issues, which can lead to problems with transitions. For kids who are easily overstimulated, the world feels confusing and seems to move too fast. They crave order, which helps them feel calm and in control. “When you change things up on them too quickly,” says Dr. Rosenthal, “then you see resistance or problem behaviors.”

Kids with sensory issues are sometimes prone to dramatic meltdowns — emotional outbursts that they can’t control — when they are overwhelmed by unexpected changes.

#James Donaldson notes:
Welcome to the “next chapter” of my life… being a voice and an advocate for #mentalhealthawarenessandsuicideprevention, especially pertaining to our younger generation of students and student-athletes.
Getting men to speak up and reach out for help and assistance is one of my passions. Us men need to not suffer in silence or drown our sorrows in alcohol, hang out at bars and strip joints, or get involved with drug use.
Having gone through a recent bout of #depression and #suicidalthoughts myself, I realize now, that I can make a huge difference in the lives of so many by sharing my story, and by sharing various resources I come across as I work in this space.  #http://bit.ly/JamesMentalHealthArticle
Find out more about the work I do on my 501c3 non-profit foundation
website www.yourgiftoflife.org Order your copy of James Donaldson's latest book,
#CelebratingYourGiftofLife: From The Verge of Suicide to a Life of Purpose and Joy

Click Here For More Information About James Donaldson

Click here to follow James Donaldson's Blog

Anxiety

For kids who suffer from anxiety, trouble with transitions might come from a place of fear. “It could be fear of the unknown, or fear of what’s going to happen when they’re put in a new situation,” notes Dr. Rosenthal. The problem is “usually some stimuli that’s connected to the transition, rather than the process of transitioning itself,” he adds.

If they’ve had an upsetting experience in a particular setting, the prospect of a transition to that location itself could also trigger anxiety. If a child is terrified of dogs, being asked to leave for the home of someone with a dog could trigger a tantrum, or even make a child lash out in anger.

Some kids with anxiety, especially those with obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD), have an intense need to do things perfectly. If they are interrupted before they are able to do something exactly the right way — forming letters perfectly in a writing assignment, or lining things up or doing a series of things in a prescribed order — they can get very upset, leaving an adult not aware of the anxiety mystified.

Understanding the triggers that make kids balk, or get upset, at transitions is the first step to managing them better for both kids and adults.

Frequently Asked Questions

Why do kids with ADHD have a hard time with transitions?Why do kids with autism have a hard time with transitions?Why do kids with anxiety have a hard time with transitions?

Kids with anxiety might have a hard time with transitions because of fear or stress. They could be afraid of what comes next, like socializing or separating from parents, or a school subject they have trouble with.  

Photo by samer daboul on Pexels.com https://standingabovethecrowd.com/?p=16210

Being asked to switch gears is a common trigger for problem behavior like whining and tantrums

Photo by samer daboul on Pexels.com

Writer: Katherine Martinelli

Clinical Expert: Dave Anderson, PhD

What You'll Learn

- Why are transitions difficult for many children?

- Why do kids often act out when they’re asked to change activities?

- What kinds of challenges can make transitions harder for kids?

- Quick Read

- Full Article

- What does trouble with transitions look like?

- What’s behind transition problems?

- ADHD

- Autism

- Sensory processing challenges

- Anxiety

Dealing with change is often difficult for children, even if the change is just leaving the playground for the day or switching from art to math in school. Being asked to change activities or locations is often a trigger for behavior like whining, complaining, or throwing tantrums. Kids may not be able to handle the big emotions that can come with transitions. And they might learn that by stalling, they get to avoid the change for a bit longer.

Transitions are often especially hard for kids with emotional or developmental issues. While the behaviors that transitions trigger may look the same on the surface, the reasons for these behaviors can vary a lot.

Children with ADHD have a hard time switching their attention from one thing to another. It makes sense, then, that they may become upset during transitions. This is especially true if they need to stop doing something that is particularly rewarding for them, since their brains react strongly to rewards.

Children with autism have a hard time transitioning from one thing to another because they prefer routine and predictability. Anything that takes them out of their routine can feel overwhelming. It’s the same thing for children with sensory processing challenges. The world often feels overwhelming to them in general, so having to handle something new can be even harder.

For children with anxiety, fear might be behind trouble with transitions. They might be afraid of what comes next, like socializing or separating from parents or a subject they have trouble with. Similarly, children with OCD may feel anxious if they can’t finish what they’re doing perfectly. If a transition interrupts a compulsive behavior (like lining up all their toys just right), they might get very upset.

Whatever the cause, understanding why transitions are hard for your child is the first step to making them easier.

Humans are creatures of habit. Even when we welcome it, change takes more energy. So perhaps it’s not surprising that children often find it difficult to make transitions between activities, places, and objects of attention. Being asked to stop one thing and start another is a very common trigger for problem behavior, especially for kids who have emotional or developmental challenges.

“Transitions are hard for everybody,” says David Anderson, PhD, a clinical psychologist at the Child Mind Institute. “One of the reasons why transitions may be hard is that we’re often transitioning from a preferred activity — something we like doing — to something that we need to do.”

What does trouble with transitions look like?

Difficulty with transitions can manifest in a number of ways depending on the child and the setting. It can take the form of resistance, avoidance, distraction, negotiation, or a full-blown meltdown. Some of these reactions are the result of kids being overwhelmed by their emotions. And some are what they’ve learned works to successfully delay or avoid the transition.

A child told it’s time to leave the playground might throw a tantrum initially because they can’t manage their anger or frustration, but if they’ve found that it has worked to delay leaving the park, they’re more likely to do it again. “It really depends on how the adults in their life have responded,” says Matthew Rouse, PhD, a clinical psychologist. Other kids may not tantrum but instead master the art of whining, distracting, or negotiating with the adults in their life.

What’s behind transition problems?

While transitions are triggers for lots of kids — what parent hasn’t gotten resistance from a child being asked to stop playing a video game and come to dinner? — they are particularly difficult for kids with emotional and developmental issues. And while the behaviors may be the same, experts point out that the reasons behind the behavior are different for kids with different challenges. Here we look at why children withADHD, anxiety, autism, and sensory processing issues, find transitions particularly difficult.

ADHD

For kids with ADHD, it all comes down to what they perceive as rewarding, says Dr. Rouse. While the disorder is described as an attention deficit, experts say it may be more useful to think about it as difficulty regulating attention — turning your attention to something you are expected to do, rather than something that you find rewarding.

“Kids with ADHD have fewer neurons in their reward centers, or neurons that aren’t as active in the reward centers of their brains, so they find things throughout their day less rewarding,” he explains. When they do find something rewarding, they tend to hyper-focus on it, which explains why someone with ADHD seems all over the place but then can play video games for hours. Ask them to do something less rewarding (like putting away Legos), and you might hit resistance.

Michael Rosenthal, PhD, a clinical neuropsychologist, adds that children with ADHD have a tougher time managing their emotions than other kids do. “There’s also research that shows that the wiring in the brain centers that are involved in helping kids exercise control over their emotions are less developed, so you get bigger emotional displays from them compared to kids who don’t have ADHD.”

Autism

Although transitions can be similarly challenging for kids with autism, the reactions tend to be more extreme, and the issue is rooted in a different difficulty. “For kids with autism,” says Dr. Rosenthal, “the world is just an incredibly confusing and overwhelming place, so the need for sameness and predictability is adaptive,” or practical. It’s not simply that changing activities is upsetting, it’s that any deviation from the routine can feel like the rug is being pulled out from under them.

Dr. Rosenthal refers to this ascognitive inflexibility, and says that it also explains why those on the autism spectrum have hyper-focused interests and tend to prefer doing the same things in the same order. “Any unexpected changes or transition for a kid with autism disrupts their equilibrium.”

Sensory processing challenges

Although sensory processing is not a diagnostic term like ADHD or autism, kids with either disorder — or no disorder — can have sensory processing issues, which can lead to problems with transitions. For kids who are easily overstimulated, the world feels confusing and seems to move too fast. They crave order, which helps them feel calm and in control. “When you change things up on them too quickly,” says Dr. Rosenthal, “then you see resistance or problem behaviors.”

Kids with sensory issues are sometimes prone to dramatic meltdowns — emotional outbursts that they can’t control — when they are overwhelmed by unexpected changes.

#James Donaldson notes:Welcome to the “next chapter” of my life… being a voice and an advocate for #mentalhealthawarenessandsuicideprevention, especially pertaining to our younger generation of students and student-athletes.Getting men to speak up and reach out for help and assistance is one of my passions. Us men need to not suffer in silence or drown our sorrows in alcohol, hang out at bars and strip joints, or get involved with drug use.Having gone through a recent bout of #depression and #suicidalthoughts myself, I realize now, that I can make a huge difference in the lives of so many by sharing my story, and by sharing various resources I come across as I work in this space.  #http://bit.ly/JamesMentalHealthArticleFind out more about the work I do on my 501c3 non-profit foundationwebsite www.yourgiftoflife.org Order your copy of James Donaldson's latest book,#CelebratingYourGiftofLife: From The Verge of Suicide to a Life of Purpose and Joy

Click Here For More Information About James Donaldson

Click here to follow James Donaldson's Blog

Anxiety

For kids who suffer from anxiety, trouble with transitions might come from a place of fear. “It could be fear of the unknown, or fear of what’s going to happen when they’re put in a new situation,” notes Dr. Rosenthal. The problem is “usually some stimuli that’s connected to the transition, rather than the process of transitioning itself,” he adds.

If they’ve had an upsetting experience in a particular setting, the prospect of a transition to that location itself could also trigger anxiety. If a child is terrified of dogs, being asked to leave for the home of someone with a dog could trigger a tantrum, or even make a child lash out in anger.

Some kids with anxiety, especially those with obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD), have an intense need to do things perfectly. If they are interrupted before they are able to do something exactly the right way — forming letters perfectly in a writing assignment, or lining things up or doing a series of things in a prescribed order — they can get very upset, leaving an adult not aware of the anxiety mystified.

Understanding the triggers that make kids balk, or get upset, at transitions is the first step to managing them better for both kids and adults.

Frequently Asked Questions

Why do kids with ADHD have a hard time with transitions?Why do kids with autism have a hard time with transitions?Why do kids with anxiety have a hard time with transitions?

Kids with anxiety might have a hard time with transitions because of fear or stress. They could be afraid of what comes next, like socializing or separating from parents, or a school subject they have trouble with.  

Photo by samer daboul on Pexels.com https://standingabovethecrowd.com/?p=16210

by The IBX Insights Team

For the past few years, there has been a lot of focus on the mental health of children and adults, and most of the news hasn’t been good. However, a recent study is giving us a reason to be hopeful.

According to the 2024 National Survey on Drug Use and Health, American teens are experiencing fewer suicidal thoughts and behaviors. Whether that’s due to reduced stigma around mental health, celebrities sharing their mental health journeys, increased access to online mental health resources, or other factors, it’s a step in the right direction.

Knowing the risks and signs

Suicide is a public health crisis that impacts everyone. In 2024, nearly 14.3 million adults reported having serious thoughts of suicide, with 2.2 million adults attempting suicide in the past year.

People at increased risk for suicidal thoughts and behaviors include:

• Middle-aged men• Young Black men• Veterans• Adults older than 75 years of age• Members of the LGBTQIA+ community• Native American/First Nation populations• Non-Hispanic white individuals• People who have disabilities• Individuals who self-identify as perfectionists

Lots of factors can trigger a suicidal crisis, including difficulties at work or school, loss of an important relationship, significant health challenges, legal or financial troubles, substance use disorder, and sexual assault or abuse.

If you suspect someone might be struggling with suicidal thoughts, look for the following behaviors:

• Extreme mood swings• Changes in sleeping or eating habits• Lack of interest in things they used to enjoy• Decreased social interactions• Participating in increasingly risky activities• Feeling worthless, hopeless, or burdensome to others

Dr. Ryan Connolly, senior medical director of behavioral health at Independence Blue Cross (IBX), says that if you notice any of these signs in a friend or loved one, you should talk to them. “People who have suicidal feelings often feel disconnected from others. Showing them you care can disrupt those negative feelings. Using positive, caring “I” statements can help people feel like they matter to someone. For example, “I feel like you might be struggling with something. I want to help, and I’m here to listen.”

Build up to questions like, “Have you thought about suicide?”, “Do you have a plan?”, and “Do you have the means to carry it out?” If the answers to these questions are yes, the situation is serious. Gently remind them that 24/7 support is available through the National Suicide and Crisis Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255) or text 988.

Lowering the risk for suicide

According to Dr. Connolly, “Nearly 25% of American adults have a mental health issue like depression or an anxiety disorder. People with mental illness are at increased risk for suicidal thoughts and actions, but there are protective behaviors that can help reduce this risk and foster overall well-being.”

Dr. Connolly suggests adding these behaviors to your regular routine:

- Embrace joy. Dedicate time each day to activities that make you feel good, such as exercising, spending time with a pet, writing in a gratitude journal, or listening to music.

- Talk with someone you trust. Humans thrive when they spend time with people who genuinely care about them. Connecting with others also increases feelings of belonging and self-esteem.

- Make time for self-care. Nurture your body and mind by getting enough rest, eating a balanced diet, and practicing meditation or deep breathing to relax.

- Cultivate problem-solving skills. Successfully navigating challenges boosts resilience. Use your talents to turn negatives into positives. Start with small challenges so you can build momentum with each “win.”

- Seek help when needed. If you feel sad or depressed for longer than two weeks, talk with a behavioral health professional. Emergency hotlines can provide immediate support in times of crisis.

#James Donaldson notes:Welcome to the “next chapter” of my life… being a voice and an advocate for #mentalhealthawarenessandsuicideprevention, especially pertaining to our younger generation of students and student-athletes.Getting men to speak up and reach out for help and assistance is one of my passions. Us men need to not suffer in silence or drown our sorrows in alcohol, hang out at bars and strip joints, or get involved with drug use.Having gone through a recent bout of #depression and #suicidalthoughts myself, I realize now, that I can make a huge difference in the lives of so many by sharing my story, and by sharing various resources I come across as I work in this space.  #http://bit.ly/JamesMentalHealthArticleFind out more about the work I do on my 501c3 non-profit foundationwebsite www.yourgiftoflife.org Order your copy of James Donaldson's latest book,#CelebratingYourGiftofLife: From The Verge of Suicide to a Life of Purpose and Joy

Click Here For More Information About James Donaldson

Click here to follow James Donaldson's Blog

Supporting survivors of suicide

The term “survivors of suicide” refers to individuals who have lost a loved one to suicide. The aftermath of such a loss can be devastating. Survivors may struggle with shock, grief, anger, and guilt. They may blame themselves or think they could have done something to prevent it, even though this is not the case.

Older individuals and people with certain cultural or religious beliefs may find it difficult to cope with a loved one’s suicide because of stigma and fear of being judged, so they might hide their pain.

And even when survivors feel like they have processed the loss, mentions of suicide on tv, in movies, or in the news, can be triggering.

If someone you know has been affected by suicide, offer compassionate support. Holidays can be particularly tough for survivors. Giving survivors a safe space to share feelings about their loved one can be comforting. You may want to encourage them to talk with a behavioral health professional, as therapy can also be helpful.

- MORE ON MENTAL HEALTH:

- The differences between stress, anxiety, and depression

- Turning parental stress into family strength

- The difference between everyday worries and anxiety disorders

IBX members have access to a network of behavioral health providers. Call our Behavioral Health Care Navigation team at 1-800-688-1911. They can match you with an in-network provider that meets your needs and schedule an appointment in as quickly as 1 – 2 days.

Our members also have access to Brightside Health’s Suicide Prevention Program, a national telehealth program that delivers targeted care for individuals with elevated suicide risk.

If you or someone you know is in immediate distress or is thinking about hurting themselves, call or text the National Suicide and Crisis Lifeline toll-free at 988.

For more information about self-care strategies for mental health and where to find help, visit ibx.com/knowyourmind. https://standingabovethecrowd.com/?p=16207

By Leigh Hataway

Targeting interventions toward improving sleep may help guard against mental health problems in low-income youth.

Improving sleep quality, duration may guard against mental health problems in children

Youth from low-income families are at a higher risk of suicide than their more well-off peers. But targeted interventions focused on improving their sleep may help mitigate that risk, according to new research from the University of Georgia.

Led by researchers in UGA’s Georgia Center for Developmental Science, the study of more than 8,000 children found that economic hardship at age 10 predicted greater risk of suicidal thoughts and attempts at ages 11 and 12. Children who slept fewer hours were more likely to experience problems regulating their emotions. 

The study also found that stronger connectivity within the brain’s default mode network, the part of the brain involved in regulating emotions and self-reflection, provided some protection from the negative effects of poor sleep and reduced suicidal thoughts.

 “Our findings show that sleep is not just a byproduct of stress. It’s a mechanism through which adversity can take root in the developing brain,” said Assaf Oshri, corresponding author of the study and a professor of human development and family science in the UGA College of Family and Consumer Sciences. Oshri also serves as director of the Georgia Center for Developmental Science.

The study was published in Translational Psychiatry, a Nature publication.

#James Donaldson notes:Welcome to the “next chapter” of my life… being a voice and an advocate for #mentalhealthawarenessandsuicideprevention, especially pertaining to our younger generation of students and student-athletes.Getting men to speak up and reach out for help and assistance is one of my passions. Us men need to not suffer in silence or drown our sorrows in alcohol, hang out at bars and strip joints, or get involved with drug use.Having gone through a recent bout of #depression and #suicidalthoughts myself, I realize now, that I can make a huge difference in the lives of so many by sharing my story, and by sharing various resources I come across as I work in this space.  #http://bit.ly/JamesMentalHealthArticleFind out more about the work I do on my 501c3 non-profit foundationwebsite www.yourgiftoflife.org Order your copy of James Donaldson's latest book,#CelebratingYourGiftofLife: From The Verge of Suicide to a Life of Purpose and Joy

Click Here For More Information About James Donaldson

Click here to follow James Donaldson's Blog

Quality sleep crucial to adolescent brain development

Low-income families may face greater caregiving demands, nonstandard work hours and daily financial stresses that make it difficult to establish and maintain consistent routines for their children, the researchers said.

For young children, routine — particularly at bedtime — is critical for development.

Sleep helps the body restore itself, boosts immune and brain functioning, and reduces energy consumption so the body can grow and repair.

But low-income areas often lack the resources that make restorative sleep possible. For example, they are often noisier and frequently experience higher rates of crime, leading to higher levels of anxiety.

Those stressors can directly impact sleep quality, making it harder for children to fall asleep and stay asleep. Previous research has shown that chronic sleep deprivation and stress are linked to higher rates of anxiety, depression and other mental health challenges.

Strengthening brain connectivity may protect against stress-related sleep problems

UGA researchers analyzed survey responses and brain imaging data from three waves of the Adolescent Brain Cognitive Development Study, the largest long-term study of brain development and child health in the United States.

They found that the part of the brain that detects threats and regulates emotions, known as the default mode network, can provide protection for youth experiencing hardships.

“Sleep is a window into how well a child’s brain and body are adapting to their environment,” Oshri said. “For families under economic strain, routines that promote consistent, restful sleep can be one of the most powerful tools to protect children’s emotional well-being.”

Improving sleep quality, duration may help

Focusing on improving sleep quality and duration may help reduce the risk of suicidal ideation and attempts in youth — particularly among those living in under-resourced environments.

The findings underscore the importance of including sleep screening in pediatric visits and school-based mental health programs, particularly for youth facing socioeconomic hardship. The researchers suggest that sleep-focused interventions could be a practical, cost-effective strategy to reduce suicide risk in vulnerable populations.

“Sometimes families can feel overwhelmed by news about children’s mental health,” said Dr. Ellen House, co-author of the study and a clinical professor in the Augusta University/University of Georgia Medical Partnership. “It is important to recognize that working on good sleep patterns can be something under a family’s control that can be really helpful for protecting their child’s health and well-being.” https://standingabovethecrowd.com/?p=16204

Strategies to help families of children with autism, ADHD, anxiety, and other challenges sidestep common sources of stress

Writer: Karen Cicero

Clinical Experts: Michelle Thirkield, PsyD , Nechama Sorscher, PhD

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hDmenwIA0K4

What You'll Learn

- How do I create routines for my child during the holidays?

- How can I prevent meltdowns for my child at holiday gatherings?

- How do I make holiday travel less stressful for my kid?

- Quick Read

- Full Article

- Interrupted routines

- Anxiety around extended family and visitors

- Picky eaters

- Sensory issues

- Traveling with kids

- Giving gifts

From Thanksgiving to New Year’s, holiday excitement can be overwhelming for some children, especially those with autism, ADHD, sensory challenges, or anxiety. Here are some ways to make the season more enjoyable for everyone.

- If breaks in routines are a problem for your child, give them a few weeks’ warning before the start of school vacation. Sign kids up for camps or library story times and create a written or visual schedule for the break.

- It can help to host holiday events at home, where children feel more comfortable.

- Discuss expectations with kids about proper behavior at a party.

- For kids with social anxiety, give them time to adjust after you arrive at someone else’s house before they need to greet people.

- If large gatherings overwhelm your child, ask the host in advance for a quiet spot your kid can retreat to when needed.

- For picky eaters, bringing familiar foods to parties can ease mealtime stress.

- For kids with sensory issues, pick holiday clothes in soft fabrics and that don’t have tags.

- If you’re traveling, driving may be preferable to long car rides. It can be manageable with planned breaks and engaging activities.

- You might role-play opening gifts so kids can practice saying “thank you” even if it’s not what they hoped for.

- Guide relatives on appropriate presents — the more specific the better — focusing more on experiences than physical gifts.

From Thanksgiving to New Year’s, expectations run high for holiday celebrations and cherished family traditions. But all that excitement and the break from routines may overwhelm some children, including those who have sensory challenges, ADHD, anxiety, or autism spectrum disorder (ASD). Making celebrations kid-friendly can take some adjustments.

Chantelle French always imagined that when she had kids, she’d continue to sleep over at her parents’ house on Christmas Eve along with other relatives. But her daughter, Charli, who was diagnosed with autism at age 2, was so miserable spending the night away from home that French decided to rethink the tradition.

“I realized that we have a different kind of family, and we had to say ‘no’ to some things, even if it meant breaking tradition,” recalls French, who also has a 5-year-old daughter with ASD. “I cried a lot about it, but I think we’ve gotten used to having Christmas morning at home before heading to my parents’ house in the afternoon. My whole family has done a great job of adjusting to this.”

For parents of children with behavioral challenges, there’s another layer of holiday stress on top of the decorating, cooking, and shopping. “During this time, we hear more often from parents who are struggling with setting limits and seeing more behavioral difficulties,” says Michelle Thirkield, PsyD, a psychologist in the Anxiety Disorders Center at the Child Mind Institute.

According to Dr. Thirkield, the “most wonderful time of the year” unsettles children for a variety of reasons. Large gatherings tend to overwhelm those with autism and social anxiety. Bright lights, dressy clothes, and loud music can feel intolerable for children with sensory processing issues. And a long winter recess from school upsets students who crave routine and structure. Add to that uncommon foods (hello, noodle kugel) from cooks who don’t take “no thanks” for an answer, and it’s a recipe for a meltdown.

For each of these stressful holiday situations and others, experts and experienced parents provide their favorite tips. Even though the seasonal festivities with kids who have challenges may look different than the glamorized versions on your Instagram feed, they can be every bit as joyful.

Interrupted routines

My child lives for their routine, but we’ve got a two-week winter break coming up. How are we going to survive?

Plan in advance. “Think about how you can add a sense of structure to the break,” Dr. Thirkield says. “For instance, you could research what day camp programs are offered in your area during holiday break and sign up for one that works for your schedule and interests.” Local aquariums, science centers, gymnastic centers, youth theaters, and children’s museums may offer an interest-specific day-camp options, while those at the neighborhood YMCA or JCC tend to keep kids busy all day long with a variety of activities ranging from sports to crafts. If you don’t want a full-day program, you could look into story time at the library or a drop-in program at a museum where you have a family membership (some libraries also have museum passes you can borrow). “Going to the playground or taking a walk around at a certain time every day also helps fulfill the desire for structure,” Dr. Thirkield says.

Give a heads-up. Don’t wait until the first day of break to tell your child that school will be closed for the next two weeks. And you definitely don’t want them hearing it for the first time at school when their teachers say, “See you next year!” Around the second week of December, explain when and why school is closed in a way that is most developmentally appropriate to your child — and some of your holiday stress may be prevented.

Create a written or visual schedule for break. “Share it with your child multiple times,” suggests Nechama Sorscher, PhD, author of the forthcomingYour Neurodiverse Child: How to Help Kids with Learning, Attention, and Neurocognitive Challenges Thrive. “You want to be sure they understand and are prepared for any plan you might have made.” While some kids may enjoy surprises (“Guess what, we’re seeing the lights at the zoo tonight!”), those with autism can react poorly when activities are sprung on them. “As a constant reminder of what’s coming up, we post the schedule on the fridge so our kids can refer to it anytime,” says Alicia Trautwein, director of the blog The Mom Kind and mom of four children, ages 10 to 22, with various challenges.

Stick with school bedtimes as much as possible. Eventually, break is going to be over, and it will be more difficult to get back in the groove if the kids have been consistently going to bed several hours later than usual, says Dr. Thirkield. Of course, there can be one-time exceptions, like staying up until midnight on New Year’s Eve.

Anxiety around extended family and visitors

I’m worried that my child is going to have a meltdown during a holiday gathering at a relative’s house — it’s happened before, and I felt judged.

Give your kids home field advantage. After some trial and error (with the emphasis on error), Trautwein discovered that it was easier to host Thanksgiving than travel for it. “Sure it was literally two days of nonstop cooking, but I knew I’d have what the kids would eat and they’d have safe spaces in the house to hang out at when they felt overwhelmed.” To trim prep time, assign guests a dish to bring or order some premade sides from a supermarket or restaurant.

Plan ahead. Shannon Rosa, who has two children with ADHD and one with autism, hosts Thanksgiving and Christmas, but she also finds a way to visit friends and family for more casual post-Christmas festivities. Planning ahead has saved the day on more than one occasion, she says  “Tell the host ahead of time — even when you’re accepting the invitation — that your kids get easily overwhelmed and burned out, and ask where in their house can they retreat to if they’re feeling that way,” Rosa says. Then, of course, alert the kids to where the safe spot is. 

Time it right. Don’t arrive at a gathering immediately after a long car ride. Instead, research a nearby park where kids can stretch their legs for 30 minutes or so, and then make your entrance when the kids are more refreshed.

Discuss expectations with your kids. Whether you’re having company or visiting, tell your kids what you expect from them based on their capabilities. “You might tell an older child, for instance, that you’d like them to visit with guests for 30 minutes and then they can feel free to do their own thing,” says  Dr. Thirkield. If some kids can only muster, a “hi” and “bye,” that’s OK, too.

Give time to warm up. Especially if children with social anxiety aren’t on their own turf, allow them to settle in — and hang onto their toy or tablet — before they’re thrust into greetings from relatives that they haven’t seen in a year.  Also, don’t require your child to hug relatives if they don’t feel comfortable doing so. A high five, fist bump, or wave acknowledges the family member, too.

Build in time between visits. If one day is very active with lots of company or visiting, make sure the next day is restful and quiet, especially for kids with autism. “Their brains can get overwhelmed and cause autistic burnout, when they withdraw completely,” says Dr. Sorscher.

Picky eaters

Food is the love language in my family — and my child is very sensitive to textures and has a limited diet.

Loop in family members. “Tell the host and some guests in advance that your child has eating challenges, and you’re working on them,” says Dr. Thirkield. “Doing so will hopefully make them supporters and reduce the likelihood of insensitive, hurtful comments.” French warns that children, including nonverbal ones, are aware when relatives are talking about them, so shut down any conversation at the get-together about your child’s eating habits.

Bring your child’s food. A gracious host may offer to make something special for your picky eater (“No problem, I could bake a mac ‘n cheese!”), but feel free to turn down the offer if it won’t work (“Thank you! But he really only likes a certain brand, so if we could just use the microwave to heat up a dish I bring, I’d appreciate it!”) A bento-type box filled with finger foods — like crackers, cheese cubes, and grapes — work particularly well to bring to a guest’s house. If you live nearby, feeding picky eaters at home first is another kid-friendly holiday strategy. Consider it a win (and praise them) if they nibble on anything else, even if they didn’t like it. (“I’m proud that you tasted your aunt’s pumpkin bread, even though you didn’t like it this time.”)

Give kids a comfortable space. Being squished at a noisy Thanksgiving table makes some kids with challenges too uncomfortable to eat or engage in any way. Set up a kids’ table with fidget toys and favors. You could also consider bringing your child’s favorite plate and cup.

Sensory issues

I see kids dressed up in their matching holiday clothes, and I wish that could be us. My kids would never wear anything like that!

Choose a color scheme. “We did matching clothes for three years, and when that wasn’t working, we shifted to a red-and-green theme. It still looked festive, but each of the kids could select what was comfortable for them,” says Trautwein. If you celebrate Hanukkah, consider a combination of blue, white, and silver.

Focus on soft fabrics and tagless items. “That’s pretty much all my kids wear,” says French, who started her business Forever French Baby by making kids’ pajamas out of soft bamboo and Spandex when her daughter wouldn’t tolerate wearing any clothes.

Give kids a say. If your child is old enough, show them a few outfits online and ask them for their preference. Dr. Thirkield adds, “Finding the middle path in a way, with something that’s holiday-esque and that kids helped us pick out, is a great solution.”

Add a soft layer. For dress clothes that kids do like but aren’t the softest, add a T-shirt underlayer. “That’s been how we’ve been able to do costumes,” French adds. But try to avoid clothes that may make kids feel hot, which may further aggravate kids with sensory challenges and cause holiday stress. For instance, be satisfied if your child will wear a cute dress — and don’t push it by attempting the fancy coat. Leggings under a dress are a more comfortable alternative to tights or bare legs are fine in warmer climates. For boys, a bow tie may cause less sensory issues than a necktie.

#James Donaldson notes:Welcome to the “next chapter” of my life… being a voice and an advocate for #mentalhealthawarenessandsuicideprevention, especially pertaining to our younger generation of students and student-athletes.Getting men to speak up and reach out for help and assistance is one of my passions. Us men need to not suffer in silence or drown our sorrows in alcohol, hang out at bars and strip joints, or get involved with drug use.Having gone through a recent bout of #depression and #suicidalthoughts myself, I realize now, that I can make a huge difference in the lives of so many by sharing my story, and by sharing various resources I come across as I work in this space.  #http://bit.ly/JamesMentalHealthArticleFind out more about the work I do on my 501c3 non-profit foundationwebsite www.yourgiftoflife.org Order your copy of James Donaldson's latest book,#CelebratingYourGiftofLife: From The Verge of Suicide to a Life of Purpose and Joy

Click Here For More Information About James Donaldson

Click here to follow James Donaldson's Blog

Traveling with kids

Most of our family and friends live out of town, so we’re going to be traveling a bunch this year. I’m worried it’s going to be a nightmare.

Drive when you can. For kids with challenges, particularly autism and sensory sensitivities, a 10-hour drive is usually better than a 90-minute plane ride — especially if the drive is broken up into two days, says Dr. Sorscher. “Kids with autism typically do surprisingly well in the car because they don’t mind boring, repetitive tasks,” she says. “Planes are more challenging because there’s a lot of waiting, transitioning, and unfamiliar noises.” If you do need to fly, look at these tips to make the airport a smoother experience.

Look for bonding moments. If you’re driving together for a long period, use it as an opportunity to create traditions, suggests Dr. Thirkield. Mutually agree on a car game to play before you leave. For instance, you could create a visual scavenger hunt game card (or find a printable online) with items like an inflatable snowman, bakery, car with antlers, and other holiday-themed objects you might encounter on the road.

Pack distractions and favorite snacks. “For each child, we would pack crayons, coloring books, mini action figures or dolls, and other small fun toys in a bucket that they could easily reach,” says Trautwein. It’s also fine to relax screen-time rules for these special occasions, assures Dr. Thirkield. While some kids may be happiest watching their favorite movie over and over, you can download something new for them to enjoy.

Extend bathroom breaks. Allow kids to run around a safe grassy area at rest stops to blow off some steam before the next leg of the journey.

Giving gifts

My child never has that jumping for joy, viral video reaction to gifts. Sometimes they don’t even care to open them, other times they’ll tell the gift giver it’s not what they wanted or liked.

Role-play opening presents. For kids who are into gifts, role-play saying “thank you” to the gift giver, even if it’s not what they hoped for. Tell your child that if they receive something that they don’t want, they can discuss with you privately at home.

Guide relatives to preferences. Telling grandparents to buy “something soccer-related” isn’t enough to go on. Parents reported that relatives appreciated a specific link to an item that your child may have seen at the store or in a catalog rather than general preferences. 

Prioritize experiences over gifts. Especially when kids are young, tell relatives that a family membership to the local children’s museum, tickets to a sensory-friendly event, or another experience would be greatly preferred over a wrapped gift that your child may show no interest in opening. “My kids didn’t open a single holiday gift for years,” says French. “But it gets better with each passing year, and you start your own traditions.  At some point, you don’t even wish it were different anymore.” https://standingabovethecrowd.com/?p=16202

James Donaldson on Mental Health - 24 Ways to Make the Holidays Kid-Friendly

Strategies to help families of children with autism, ADHD, anxiety, and other challenges sidestep common sources of stress

Writer: Karen Cicero

Clinical Experts: Michelle Thirkield, PsyD , Nechama Sorscher, PhD

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hDmenwIA0K4

What You'll Learn

- How do I create routines for my child during the holidays?
- How can I prevent meltdowns for my child at holiday gatherings?
- How do I make holiday travel less stressful for my kid?
- Quick Read
- Full Article
- Interrupted routines
- Anxiety around extended family and visitors
- Picky eaters
- Sensory issues
- Traveling with kids
- Giving gifts

From Thanksgiving to New Year’s, holiday excitement can be overwhelming for some children, especially those with autism, ADHD, sensory challenges, or anxiety. Here are some ways to make the season more enjoyable for everyone.

- If breaks in routines are a problem for your child, give them a few weeks’ warning before the start of school vacation. Sign kids up for camps or library story times and create a written or visual schedule for the break.
- It can help to host holiday events at home, where children feel more comfortable.
- Discuss expectations with kids about proper behavior at a party.
- For kids with social anxiety, give them time to adjust after you arrive at someone else’s house before they need to greet people.
- If large gatherings overwhelm your child, ask the host in advance for a quiet spot your kid can retreat to when needed.
- For picky eaters, bringing familiar foods to parties can ease mealtime stress.
- For kids with sensory issues, pick holiday clothes in soft fabrics and that don’t have tags.
- If you’re traveling, driving may be preferable to long car rides. It can be manageable with planned breaks and engaging activities.
- You might role-play opening gifts so kids can practice saying “thank you” even if it’s not what they hoped for.
- Guide relatives on appropriate presents — the more specific the better — focusing more on experiences than physical gifts.

From Thanksgiving to New Year’s, expectations run high for holiday celebrations and cherished family traditions. But all that excitement and the break from routines may overwhelm some children, including those who have sensory challenges, ADHD, anxiety, or autism spectrum disorder (ASD). Making celebrations kid-friendly can take some adjustments.

Chantelle French always imagined that when she had kids, she’d continue to sleep over at her parents’ house on Christmas Eve along with other relatives. But her daughter, Charli, who was diagnosed with autism at age 2, was so miserable spending the night away from home that French decided to rethink the tradition.

“I realized that we have a different kind of family, and we had to say ‘no’ to some things, even if it meant breaking tradition,” recalls French, who also has a 5-year-old daughter with ASD. “I cried a lot about it, but I think we’ve gotten used to having Christmas morning at home before heading to my parents’ house in the afternoon. My whole family has done a great job of adjusting to this.”

For parents of children with behavioral challenges, there’s another layer of holiday stress on top of the decorating, cooking, and shopping. “During this time, we hear more often from parents who are struggling with setting limits and seeing more behavioral difficulties,” says Michelle Thirkield, PsyD, a psychologist in the Anxiety Disorders Center at the Child Mind Institute.

According to Dr. Thirkield, the “most wonderful time of the year” unsettles children for a variety of reasons. Large gatherings tend to overwhelm those with autism and social anxiety. Bright lights, dressy clothes, and loud music can feel intolerable for children with sensory processing issues. And a long winter recess from school upsets students who crave routine and structure. Add to that uncommon foods (hello, noodle kugel) from cooks who don’t take “no thanks” for an answer, and it’s a recipe for a meltdown.

For each of these stressful holiday situations and others, experts and experienced parents provide their favorite tips. Even though the seasonal festivities with kids who have challenges may look different than the glamorized versions on your Instagram feed, they can be every bit as joyful.

Interrupted routines

My child lives for their routine, but we’ve got a two-week winter break coming up. How are we going to survive?

Plan in advance. “Think about how you can add a sense of structure to the break,” Dr. Thirkield says. “For instance, you could research what day camp programs are offered in your area during holiday break and sign up for one that works for your schedule and interests.” Local aquariums, science centers, gymnastic centers, youth theaters, and children’s museums may offer an interest-specific day-camp options, while those at the neighborhood YMCA or JCC tend to keep kids busy all day long with a variety of activities ranging from sports to crafts. If you don’t want a full-day program, you could look into story time at the library or a drop-in program at a museum where you have a family membership (some libraries also have museum passes you can borrow). “Going to the playground or taking a walk around at a certain time every day also helps fulfill the desire for structure,” Dr. Thirkield says.

Give a heads-up. Don’t wait until the first day of break to tell your child that school will be closed for the next two weeks. And you definitely don’t want them hearing it for the first time at school when their teachers say, “See you next year!” Around the second week of December, explain when and why school is closed in a way that is most developmentally appropriate to your child — and some of your holiday stress may be prevented.

Create a written or visual schedule for break. “Share it with your child multiple times,” suggests Nechama Sorscher, PhD, author of the forthcomingYour Neurodiverse Child: How to Help Kids with Learning, Attention, and Neurocognitive Challenges Thrive. “You want to be sure they understand and are prepared for any plan you might have made.” While some kids may enjoy surprises (“Guess what, we’re seeing the lights at the zoo tonight!”), those with autism can react poorly when activities are sprung on them. “As a constant reminder of what’s coming up, we post the schedule on the fridge so our kids can refer to it anytime,” says Alicia Trautwein, director of the blog The Mom Kind and mom of four children, ages 10 to 22, with various challenges.

Stick with school bedtimes as much as possible. Eventually, break is going to be over, and it will be more difficult to get back in the groove if the kids have been consistently going to bed several hours later than usual, says Dr. Thirkield. Of course, there can be one-time exceptions, like staying up until midnight on New Year’s Eve.

Anxiety around extended family and visitors

I’m worried that my child is going to have a meltdown during a holiday gathering at a relative’s house — it’s happened before, and I felt judged.

Give your kids home field advantage. After some trial and error (with the emphasis on error), Trautwein discovered that it was easier to host Thanksgiving than travel for it. “Sure it was literally two days of nonstop cooking, but I knew I’d have what the kids would eat and they’d have safe spaces in the house to hang out at when they felt overwhelmed.” To trim prep time, assign guests a dish to bring or order some premade sides from a supermarket or restaurant.

Plan ahead. Shannon Rosa, who has two children with ADHD and one with autism, hosts Thanksgiving and Christmas, but she also finds a way to visit friends and family for more casual post-Christmas festivities. Planning ahead has saved the day on more than one occasion, she says  “Tell the host ahead of time — even when you’re accepting the invitation — that your kids get easily overwhelmed and burned out, and ask where in their house can they retreat to if they’re feeling that way,” Rosa says. Then, of course, alert the kids to where the safe spot is. 

Time it right. Don’t arrive at a gathering immediately after a long car ride. Instead, research a nearby park where kids can stretch their legs for 30 minutes or so, and then make your entrance when the kids are more refreshed.

Discuss expectations with your kids. Whether you’re having company or visiting, tell your kids what you expect from them based on their capabilities. “You might tell an older child, for instance, that you’d like them to visit with guests for 30 minutes and then they can feel free to do their own thing,” says  Dr. Thirkield. If some kids can only muster, a “hi” and “bye,” that’s OK, too.

Give time to warm up. Especially if children with social anxiety aren’t on their own turf, allow them to settle in — and hang onto their toy or tablet — before they’re thrust into greetings from relatives that they haven’t seen in a year.  Also, don’t require your child to hug relatives if they don’t feel comfortable doing so. A high five, fist bump, or wave acknowledges the family member, too.

Build in time between visits. If one day is very active with lots of company or visiting, make sure the next day is restful and quiet, especially for kids with autism. “Their brains can get overwhelmed and cause autistic burnout, when they withdraw completely,” says Dr. Sorscher.

Picky eaters

Food is the love language in my family — and my child is very sensitive to textures and has a limited diet.

Loop in family members. “Tell the host and some guests in advance that your child has eating challenges, and you’re working on them,” says Dr. Thirkield. “Doing so will hopefully make them supporters and reduce the likelihood of insensitive, hurtful comments.” French warns that children, including nonverbal ones, are aware when relatives are talking about them, so shut down any conversation at the get-together about your child’s eating habits.

Bring your child’s food. A gracious host may offer to make something special for your picky eater (“No problem, I could bake a mac ‘n cheese!”), but feel free to turn down the offer if it won’t work (“Thank you! But he really only likes a certain brand, so if we could just use the microwave to heat up a dish I bring, I’d appreciate it!”) A bento-type box filled with finger foods — like crackers, cheese cubes, and grapes — work particularly well to bring to a guest’s house. If you live nearby, feeding picky eaters at home first is another kid-friendly holiday strategy. Consider it a win (and praise them) if they nibble on anything else, even if they didn’t like it. (“I’m proud that you tasted your aunt’s pumpkin bread, even though you didn’t like it this time.”)

Give kids a comfortable space. Being squished at a noisy Thanksgiving table makes some kids with challenges too uncomfortable to eat or engage in any way. Set up a kids’ table with fidget toys and favors. You could also consider bringing your child’s favorite plate and cup.

Sensory issues

I see kids dressed up in their matching holiday clothes, and I wish that could be us. My kids would never wear anything like that!

Choose a color scheme. “We did matching clothes for three years, and when that wasn’t working, we shifted to a red-and-green theme. It still looked festive, but each of the kids could select what was comfortable for them,” says Trautwein. If you celebrate Hanukkah, consider a combination of blue, white, and silver.

Focus on soft fabrics and tagless items. “That’s pretty much all my kids wear,” says French, who started her business Forever French Baby by making kids’ pajamas out of soft bamboo and Spandex when her daughter wouldn’t tolerate wearing any clothes.

Give kids a say. If your child is old enough, show them a few outfits online and ask them for their preference. Dr. Thirkield adds, “Finding the middle path in a way, with something that’s holiday-esque and that kids helped us pick out, is a great solution.”

Add a soft layer. For dress clothes that kids do like but aren’t the softest, add a T-shirt underlayer. “That’s been how we’ve been able to do costumes,” French adds. But try to avoid clothes that may make kids feel hot, which may further aggravate kids with sensory challenges and cause holiday stress. For instance, be satisfied if your child will wear a cute dress — and don’t push it by attempting the fancy coat. Leggings under a dress are a more comfortable alternative to tights or bare legs are fine in warmer climates. For boys, a bow tie may cause less sensory issues than a necktie.

#James Donaldson notes:
Welcome to the “next chapter” of my life… being a voice and an advocate for #mentalhealthawarenessandsuicideprevention, especially pertaining to our younger generation of students and student-athletes.
Getting men to speak up and reach out for help and assistance is one of my passions. Us men need to not suffer in silence or drown our sorrows in alcohol, hang out at bars and strip joints, or get involved with drug use.
Having gone through a recent bout of #depression and #suicidalthoughts myself, I realize now, that I can make a huge difference in the lives of so many by sharing my story, and by sharing various resources I come across as I work in this space.  #http://bit.ly/JamesMentalHealthArticle
Find out more about the work I do on my 501c3 non-profit foundation
website www.yourgiftoflife.org Order your copy of James Donaldson's latest book,
#CelebratingYourGiftofLife: From The Verge of Suicide to a Life of Purpose and Joy

Click Here For More Information About James Donaldson

Click here to follow James Donaldson's Blog

Traveling with kids

Most of our family and friends live out of town, so we’re going to be traveling a bunch this year. I’m worried it’s going to be a nightmare.

Drive when you can. For kids with challenges, particularly autism and sensory sensitivities, a 10-hour drive is usually better than a 90-minute plane ride — especially if the drive is broken up into two days, says Dr. Sorscher. “Kids with autism typically do surprisingly well in the car because they don’t mind boring, repetitive tasks,” she says. “Planes are more challenging because there’s a lot of waiting, transitioning, and unfamiliar noises.” If you do need to fly, look at these tips to make the airport a smoother experience.

Look for bonding moments. If you’re driving together for a long period, use it as an opportunity to create traditions, suggests Dr. Thirkield. Mutually agree on a car game to play before you leave. For instance, you could create a visual scavenger hunt game card (or find a printable online) with items like an inflatable snowman, bakery, car with antlers, and other holiday-themed objects you might encounter on the road.

Pack distractions and favorite snacks. “For each child, we would pack crayons, coloring books, mini action figures or dolls, and other small fun toys in a bucket that they could easily reach,” says Trautwein. It’s also fine to relax screen-time rules for these special occasions, assures Dr. Thirkield. While some kids may be happiest watching their favorite movie over and over, you can download something new for them to enjoy.

Extend bathroom breaks. Allow kids to run around a safe grassy area at rest stops to blow off some steam before the next leg of the journey.

Giving gifts

My child never has that jumping for joy, viral video reaction to gifts.

https://standingabovethecrowd.com/james-donaldson-on-mental-health-24-ways-to-make-the-holidays-kid-friendly-3/

James Donaldson on Mental Health - Teens with supportive but firm parents have better mental health

By Eric Ralls

Parents do not just feed and clothe teenagers – they also set the emotional climate at home. A new study of 583 students in western Nepal links that climate to striking differences in depression, anxiety, stress, and self-esteem.

Globally, one in seven adolescents lives with a mental disorder, and suicide ranks among the leading causes of death for young people. 

The World Health Organization notes that adolescence is the phase of life between childhood and adulthood, from ages 10 to 19.

Parents shape teen mental health

Psychologists use the phrase parenting style, a consistent pattern of warmth and control adults show their children, to describe broad approaches to raising kids. 

Classic work organizes these approaches into three main styles that differ in how strict and how supportive parents are.

The work was led by Rabina Khadka, a public health lecturer at the Manmohan Memorial Institute of Health Sciences in Kathmandu (MMIHS).

Among the parenting styles, authoritative parenting is a mix of clear expectations and warm responsiveness to the child. This approach is often described as the most balanced. It gives teenagers both guidance and room to develop their own judgment.

“Authoritative parenting styles are associated with better mental health and self-esteem among adolescents,” stated Khadka. 

The team’s findings suggest that this blend of structure and support may help teens handle stress and setbacks more confidently.

Depression, stress, and self-esteem

The team carried out a cross-sectional study, a one-time survey of students at a single point in time in Bheemdatt Municipality. They asked teens about symptoms of depression, anxiety, stress, and their sense of self-worth.

About one-third of the adolescents screened positive for depression, and almost half showed signs of anxiety. Roughly one-quarter met the cutoffs for high stress, while most still reported relatively high self-esteem.

To understand these patterns, the researchers used a statistical method that estimates how factors relate to the odds of an outcome. 

The models accounted for many background factors, so the links between parenting style and mental health were unlikely to be accidental.

The same models showed that social context mattered a great deal. Youth who reported being bullied or feeling less close to friends and teachers faced significantly higher odds of psychological distress and lower self-esteem.

The role of predictable boundaries

The study also examined authoritarian parenting, a style that relies on strict rules, firm demands, and little discussion of the reasons behind them. 

Adolescents in these families were more likely to report symptoms of depression and tended to describe themselves in more negative emotional terms.

In contrast, permissive parenting – a style where parents are warm but allow freedom with few limits – was tied to elevated stress in Nepali teens. 

Without predictable boundaries, young people may feel unsupported when school pressure or social problems build up.

Parents strongly affect teen health

Self-esteem patterns added another twist. Teenagers who saw their parents as authoritative reported lower self-esteem.

Teens with authoritarian parents reported higher scores – challenging ideas about confidence and control.

Previous research has also found that parenting style and adolescent mental health are linked, though not always in the same way. 

A recent study of Malaysian pre-university students linked authoritarian parenting and fathers’ education to depression, anxiety, and stress.

Rethinking support for adolescents

Taken together, the Nepal findings highlight the importance of a supportive home environment, a family climate where adults notice changes, listen, and respond calmly. 

This echoes broader guidance from the World Health Organization, which stresses that home, school, and community relationships are central to adolescent mental health.

The results also point to the double burden carried by teenagers who face both unsupportive parenting and bullying at school. 

#James Donaldson notes:
Welcome to the “next chapter” of my life… being a voice and an advocate for #mentalhealthawarenessandsuicideprevention, especially pertaining to our younger generation of students and student-athletes.
Getting men to speak up and reach out for help and assistance is one of my passions. Us men need to not suffer in silence or drown our sorrows in alcohol, hang out at bars and strip joints, or get involved with drug use.
Having gone through a recent bout of #depression and #suicidalthoughts myself, I realize now, that I can make a huge difference in the lives of so many by sharing my story, and by sharing various resources I come across as I work in this space.  #http://bit.ly/JamesMentalHealthArticle
Find out more about the work I do on my 501c3 non-profit foundation
website www.yourgiftoflife.org Order your copy of James Donaldson's latest book,
#CelebratingYourGiftofLife: From The Verge of Suicide to a Life of Purpose and Joy

Click Here For More Information About James Donaldson

Click here to follow James Donaldson's Blog

Providing support for teens

When criticism or control follows a young person from home to the classroom or playground, opportunities to recover emotionally shrink.

Schools and local governments can respond by strengthening counseling services, enforcing anti-bullying rules, and inviting parents into conversations about mental health. 

Families, meanwhile, can practice simple habits such as regular check-in talks, shared activities, and clear but respectful rules.

Ultimately, the research suggests that how adults talk, listen, and set limits at home can shape whether adolescent distress becomes a lasting problem or remains manageable.

https://standingabovethecrowd.com/james-donaldson-on-mental-health-teens-with-supportive-but-firm-parents-have-better-mental-health/