BY LILLIAN LAKE

Last year I thought I would generally write about my health crisis more than I did. I’ve since decided only to share pieces when I think they are most helpful.

This week I share a piece of my story related to #mentalhealth.

Following emergency abdominal surgery and four days into being an ICU #patient, I insisted on getting up. Then I asked to be left alone, although I knew a Boston team was watching me via a webcam as I sat in front of the mirror at the sink, terrified and anxious. Lowering my gown, I surveyed the surgeon’s handiwork. My eyes took in the staples that ran a track down the center of my body, punctured and bruised from IVs and accentuated with surgical prep stains. My eyes formed droplets of tears. They skidded uncertainly off my cheeks and fell like shattered glass on my chest. They wanted to become rivers, but that moment was not the time for rivers. I didn’t recognize the person looking curiously back at me. My entire body was swollen and brutalized; I thought my future would be measured in steps rather than miles. I was not wrong.

Later, I described my experience to someone, adding that the body is a temple for the soul, but at that moment, mine resembled the set from Indiana Jones! But, at least my sense of humor and soul remained intact.

Their response was, “you are being dramatic.”

No words express how this response made me feel even more defeated and devastated. I immediately decided not to share my story, specifically that part, with anyone else. And until today, I haven’t.

Too often, when one shares how they are feeling or experiencing, it is met with such flat finality as what I experienced. Was I being dramatic? One asks this of themselves, causing feelings of judgment and abandonment. While this didn’t apply to me at that moment, for someone having #suicidalideation, the consequences can be devastating.

I’m not a #mentalhealthprofessional by trade, nor an expert on #suicide, but a #caregiver and #caregiver advocate. I’ve crossed paths with those contemplating #suicide, and as a bereavement #counselor, I’ve heard the stories of those who have experienced the effect of #suicide on their family.

In 2020, 12.2 million people reported ideating about #suicide. The numbers are rising among #teens, particularly #girls and young #women.

Our country needs to increase its investment in #mentalhealthservices meaningfully. #Mentalhealth should be discussed frequently, normalizing its importance.

What can we say to someone expressing their feelings or #suicideideation? Here are a few suggestions:

I believe you. I’m not judging.

Your thoughts are safe with me. Tell me what you need.

I’m here listening.

I’m sorry for your pain. Is there anything I can do?

You are not crazy. Thank you for your courage. I will hold space for your healing.

Your soul is safe here. You are loved.

It’s okay to feel what you feel. Your feelings are real. Together we’ll get through this.

#James Donaldson notes:Welcome to the “next chapter” of my life… being a voice and an advocate for #mentalhealthawarenessandsuicideprevention, especially pertaining to our younger generation of students and student-athletes.Getting men to speak up and reach out for help and assistance is one of my passions. Us men need to not suffer in silence or drown our sorrows in alcohol, hang out at bars and strip joints, or get involved with drug use.Having gone through a recent bout of #depression and #suicidalthoughts myself, I realize now, that I can make a huge difference in the lives of so many by sharing my story, and by sharing various resources I come across as I work in this space.  #http://bit.ly/JamesMentalHealthArticleFind out more about the work I do on my 501c3 non-profit foundationwebsite www.yourgiftoflife.org                            Order your copy of James Donaldson's latest book,#CelebratingYourGiftofLife:From The Verge of Suicide to a Life of Purpose and Joy

www.celebratingyourgiftoflife.com
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