By: Noelle Friel

DE PERE (NBC 26) — It’s an issue that’s often invisible, but all too common. #Suicide is the second most common cause of death among #collegestudents according to the #AmericanFoundationforSuicidePrevention. 

Earlier this month, UW-Madison track star #SarahShulze tragically passed away at just 21-years-old. The #athlete took her own life, her family said in a statement, writing "balancing athletics, academics and the demands of every day life overwhelmed her in a single, desperate moment."

Her family has since established the #SarahShulze Foundation to continue to support the causes most important to her, such as advancing and supporting women’s rights, #studentathletes and #mentalhealth.

#James Donaldson notes:Welcome to the “next chapter” of my life… being a voice and an advocate for #mentalhealthawarenessandsuicideprevention, especially pertaining to our younger generation of students and student-athletes.Getting men to speak up and reach out for help and assistance is one of my passions. Us men need to not suffer in silence or drown our sorrows in alcohol, hang out at bars and strip joints, or get involved with drug use.Having gone through a recent bout of #depression and #suicidalthoughts myself, I realize now, that I can make a huge difference in the lives of so many by sharing my story, and by sharing various resources I come across as I work in this space.  #http://bit.ly/JamesMentalHealthArticleOrder your copy of James Donaldson's latest book,#CelebratingYourGiftofLife:From The Verge of Suicide to a Life of Purpose and Joy

http://www.celebratingyourgiftoflife.com

Tom Doughman, the assistant director of #counseling and #psychological services at St. Norbert College, says that #depression and #anxiety are among the most common #mentalhealthissues that #students face.

“One of the biggest challenges today is that #students are feeling so much pressure to be successful,” Doughman said.

That pressure to succeed combined with multiple responsibilities between #school, jobs, and extracurriculars can become overwhelming for #students.

“They’re expecting to do well, socially, academically and financially," Doughman said. "If you’re a full-time #student, and a #studentathlete as well, having time to do everything is really difficult.”

"Even college age #students, their capacity to take in all that information, that competitiveness between people, it's not as well developed as it could be," said Tally Moses, an associate professor at the UW-Madison School of Social Work. "Especially among #girls and #women, there's a sense of perfectionism."

In addition to students' many responsibilities, Moses says adding problems in their personal lives on top of that #stress can create a #mentalhealthcrisis.

“Maybe a romantic situation gone awry or some problems with the family or roommate issues, it doesn’t take much to create a crisis," Moses said.

That’s why many colleges aim to be proactive when it comes to #mentalhealthtreatment. At St. Norbert College, #counseling and #psychological services are on call 24 hours a day.

“If somebody else has said my friend, my colleague, has an issue they’ll reach out to us and we can talk to them and come right to campus at that time," Doughman said.

#Students are often referred to #counseling and #psychological services by their peers or instructors. It’s part of what the college calls its community of care - and Doughman says that proactive action just might save a life.

"We might hear from three or four different people on campus 'hey I'm not sure what's going on with this person but you may want to talk to them.' Anywhere from a facilities or housekeeping person to a professor or one of the administrators on campus," Doughman said.
https://standingabovethecrowd.com/?p=10222

How to take care of yourself and your family

Writer: Tonya Russell

Clinical Expert: Cara L. Macari, LCSW

What You'll Learn

- How can parents’ #depression affect #kids?

- What are some ways to talk to kids about your #depression?

- How can #parents who are dealing with #depression get support and treatment?

- Quick Read

- Full Article

- What is it like to #parent with #depression? 

- How a parent’s #depression can impact #children 

- Discussing your #depression with your #children

- Getting treatment and seeking support

Feeling sad, lacking energy and struggling to enjoy time with your #kids can make parenting feel overwhelming. Some #parents begin experiencing #depression around the birth of a #child, but some develop it later or find that parenting intensifies existing #mentalhealthchallenges. And it’s not just moms — #parents of any gender can experience #depression. If you’re a #parent dealing with #depression, you’re not alone, and treatment can help.

All #parents have hard days sometimes, but #depression is more than ordinary #stress. It can make you feel hopeless and disconnected from your #children. You might have trouble finding energy to do things with your #kids, which can lead to guilt and low #self-esteem. Then, those feelings make it even harder to feel motivated.

#Depression doesn’t mean that you’re a bad #parent. Talking to #kids about your #depression in a clear, age-appropriate way can help them understand what’s going on and avoid blaming themselves. For little #kids, you can share that you have a condition that affects your mind and feelings and makes you tired. For older #kids, you can name the disorder and explain in more detail how it affects you. It also helps #kids to know what you’re doing to cope: “I have hard days, but my #doctor is helping me find ways to make things easier.”

If you have #depression, getting treatment is one of the best ways to protect your children’s #mentalhealth. Therapy and medication can both make a big difference, and support groups can help too. It’s also important to make sure you have other #adults backing you up and looking out for your kids’ needs. For instance, you might have a couple of friends and family members on call to step in when you’re not feeling up to daily tasks.

#Depression comes with an increased risk of thinking about and attempting #suicide, so be sure to reach out for help if you’re having thoughts of #suicide. The #NationalSuicidePreventionLifeline (1-800-273-8255) offers free, 24/7 support across the #UnitedStates.

Most #parents wonder at one time or another whether or not they’re doing a good enough job. But for #parents dealing with #depression, these thoughts can feel overwhelming. Because #depression affects #self-esteem and makes it hard to stay engaged with daily life, parenting with #depression might make showing up for your #kids feel impossible.

If you’re a #parent dealing with #depression, you’re not alone. The latest research shows that 8.4 percent of #adults in the U.S. –– or 21 million people –– have had at least one major depressive episode.  And some research indicates that the risk of developing #depression may be higher for #parents of #children with intellectual and developmental disabilities. Here’s how to tell if you might be experiencing #depression, and how to care for your #kids (and yourself!) if you are. #Depression is treatable, and with support, #parents experiencing it can thrive.

What is it like to #parent with #depression? 

There are different degrees of #depression, and it can look different from person to person. Some #parents experience #depression around the birth of a #child, while others might develop it much later. Still others may have been dealing with #depression throughout their lives and find that parenting intensifies or changes the experience of coping with it. And #depression can affect #parents of any gender. You can learn more here about common kinds of #depression and their symptoms.

Cara Macari, LCSW, a clinical #socialworker at the #ChildMindInstitute explains that #depression often affects a parent’s motivation. “With #depression come strong urges to sort of hunker down and isolate oneself,” she says. “That makes it difficult to engage in activities, and could even make it difficult to engage with #kids.” 

This was the case for Jazmine Cruz, 34, of New Jersey. The mother of two and elementary #school teacher has battled #depression since her grandfather’s death when she was in #middleschool. Both of her births came around the same time as the deaths of close family members, which caused a spiral each time.  “You’re supposed to be overjoyed for your first #child, but I didn’t have that,” recalls Cruz. “Everything that should have been joyful about motherhood was impacted by #depression.” Cruz struggled to pull herself out of that feeling, sometimes to the point of her children’s milestones not seeming significant. She’d grown accustomed to feeling unmotivated and down, but once she had #kids, those symptoms became even more distressing.

Macari adds that some #parents with #depression may find spending time with their #children to be less enjoyable, and they may develop a monotone or flat affect. “This can make you appear or feel less warm to your #kids and others around you.” And the effects of #depression on parenting can also impact the parent’s #self-esteem. “When you’re feeling a spiral, you might skip going to the park, for example,” says Macari. “What comes along with that is, ‘I let my kids down, I’m a failure, I’m a terrible #parent.’ And after having that thought, you have more sadness, and more #depression. And when you have more sadness, and more #depression, you continue to have decreased motivation.”

It’s important to remember that #depression goes beyond ordinary parenting #stress. All #parents have rough days, and it’s normal to feel overwhelmed sometimes. The difference is that #depression symptoms persist on good days, too, though they may be exacerbated by stressful ones. For example, dreading a busy day from time to time is a normal part of parenting. But frequently feeling so down that you can’t get out of bed is a sign of #depression. 

How a parent’s #depression can impact #children 

Macari notes that parenting with #depression can make it difficult to help #kids deal with their own big emotions. “If you have a very young #child who’s having a lot of tantrums or #behavior problems,” she explains, “it’s harder for a parent to regulate their own emotions and help the #child regulate theirs.” Without stable emotional role models, young #children might have a harder time learning appropriate reactions to upsetting or frustrating situations.

For older #kids, a parent’s #depression can lead to a sense of responsibility that goes beyond what’s appropriate for their age. Macari notes that they may step into a parentified role, taking on decision-making and household duties when their #parents are down.

For instance, if a depressed #parent struggles with things like hygiene and housekeeping, or even caring for younger siblings, the #child in the #parent role may not have the support they need and miss out on age-appropriate activities like spending time on schoolwork and with friends.

Despite the challenges, it’s not a given that parental #depression will impact #kids negatively, especially when the #parent gets treatment. There are strategies and supports you can use to make parenting with #depression more manageable and make sure your kids’ needs are met.

Discussing your #depression with your #children

When a #parent is struggling, it’s often helpful for a #child to have an age-appropriate explanation.

Even young #children can tell when a grown up is dealing with #depression, even if they don’t understand it or have the words to describe it. Cruz describes her daughter’s experience: “Once she got to six or seven, she’d begin to notice my energy shift. She’d realize something was wrong because I’d gravitate towards my room.” 

New York City-based #therapist Jor-El Caraballo, LMHC, points out, “It’s critical to remember that #children are incredibly perceptive, and talking comfortably is essential.” He recommends having age-appropriate conversations. “The conversations should largely depend on the #kid and developmental level. For instance, it might be appropriate for younger #children to just share that the #parent isn’t feeling well and has a condition that affects their mind and makes them more tired than they might look.” It’s also important to emphasize that the parent’s feelings aren’t the child’s fault, since young #children in particular tend to blame themselves for problems around them.

For Cruz, part of dealing with #depression is being honest with her daughter about what she is experiencing. They have #mentalhealth check-ins twice a week, and her daughter participates, expressing her own concerns when she has them. They both try to be as descriptive as possible. When Cruz’s son is old enough to understand and articulate his feelings, she intends to bring him into the conversations as well.

For older #children, Caraballo recommends naming #depression and identifying specific symptoms. You can also tell #kids a little about how you’re taking care of yourself and getting support — for example, “I have hard days, but my #doctor is helping me find ways to make things easier.”

Clinical #psychologist Gillian Woldorf, PhD, uses this direct approach for her 13-year-old. Their conversations include calling Dr. Woldorf’s condition by name and describing how she’s treated it through therapy and medication. “I think it’s as important for my kid to know about the family history of #depression and #anxiety as it is for her to know about the family history of allergies and asthma,” she says. “I want her to know what to be alert to in her #teen years and beyond, so that if she does start to experience anything similar, she won’t feel as blindsided and alone as I did.”

Dr. Woldorf’s approach includes honest conversations about topics ranging from #suicidalideation to #self-harm, and she encourages her daughter to let her know if she or any of her friends are struggling with their #mentalhealth. She’s found in her practice treating #children and #teenagers that #kids can handle tough conversations, and that #parents who are hesitant to have these conversations may be battling their own sense of #stigma. “Today’s #kids and #teens are growing up in a society that’s much more open about #mentalhealthissues than the society of the ‘80s and ‘90s,” she says. 

#James Donaldson notes:Welcome to the “next chapter” of my life… being a voice and an advocate for #mentalhealthawarenessandsuicideprevention, especially pertaining to our younger generation of students and student-athletes.Getting men to speak up and reach out for help and assistance is one of my passions. Us men need to not suffer in silence or drown our sorrows in alcohol, hang out at bars and strip joints, or get involved with drug use.Having gone through a recent bout of #depression and #suicidalthoughts myself, I realize now, that I can make a huge difference in the lives of so many by sharing my story, and by sharing various resources I come across as I work in this space.  #http://bit.ly/JamesMentalHealthArticleOrder your copy of James Donaldson's latest book,#CelebratingYourGiftofLife:From The Verge of Suicide to a Life of Purpose and Joy

http://www.celebratingyourgiftoflife.com

Getting treatment and seeking support

Macari notes that getting treatment for your #depression is the best way to protect the #mentalhealth of your #children. “The good thing is that there are a lot of interventions for #parents with #depression,” Macari says. Effective treatments for #depression often include both therapy and medication, and support groups (either online or in person) can also help. Additionally, Macari notes that family therapy can be a way to help #kids and #adults build communication and coping skills together.

It’s also important to enlist other #adults (including your child’s other #parent, if they’re involved) in supporting you and your family while you’re dealing with #depression. For instance, you might have a couple of friends and family members on call to step in when you’re not feeling up to daily tasks. Setting up this support on days when you’re feeling better means that your whole family will be under less #stress during harder times. Cruz says that, even when she’s spiraling, having a support system has been crucial, and that network includes therapy, her mother, and her pastor. When she’s down, she’s grateful for the support of loved ones who are able to pitch in.

#Depression comes with an increased risk of thinking about and attempting #suicide, so be sure to reach out for help if you’re having thoughts of #suicide. The #NationalSuicidePreventionLifeline (1-800-273-8255) offers free, 24/7 support across the #UnitedStates.

Finally, remember that experiencing #depression does not mean that you’re an inadequate #parent. Both Cruz and Dr. Woldorf show that one can still care for their #children even when battling #depression. Being open about their struggles with their daughters has helped both their #mentalhealth and their children’s.
https://standingabovethecrowd.com/2022/11/jamesdonaldson-on-mentalhealth-parenting-through-depression/

By Joshua Lynch

The #UniversityofWisconsin campus is mourning the death of a beloved track and cross country star.

#SarahShulze, 21, died by #suicide on April 13, her family announced.

“Balancing #athletics, academics and the demands of every day life overwhelmed her in a single, desperate moment,” Shulze’s family said. “Like you, we are shocked and #grief stricken while holding on tightly to all that Sarah was.”

The California-born runner was a junior and member of the cross country, indoor track and outdoor track teams at the #UniversityofWisconsin.

Wisconsin officials released a statement Friday regarding the beloved #student, who was described as a gentle soul and decorated #student-athlete.

#UniversityofWisconsin #athlete #SarahShulze, 21, took her own life on April 13, 2022.

“The Wisconsin Athletics community is heartbroken by the unexpected passing of #SarahShulze,” the university said. “We extend our deepest sympathies and sincere condolences to Sarah’s family, friends and Badger teammates during this extraordinarily difficult time.”

Shulze’s death was followed by outpourings of grief on #socialmedia.

Olympic runner Georgia Ellenwood, a former Wisconsin track star, expressed her condolences in a comment under the school’s Instagram post.

#James Donaldson notes:Welcome to the “next chapter” of my life… being a voice and an advocate for #mentalhealthawarenessandsuicideprevention, especially pertaining to our younger generation of students and student-athletes.Getting men to speak up and reach out for help and assistance is one of my passions. Us men need to not suffer in silence or drown our sorrows in alcohol, hang out at bars and strip joints, or get involved with drug use.Having gone through a recent bout of #depression and #suicidalthoughts myself, I realize now, that I can make a huge difference in the lives of so many by sharing my story, and by sharing various resources I come across as I work in this space.  #http://bit.ly/JamesMentalHealthArticleOrder your copy of James Donaldson's latest book,#CelebratingYourGiftofLife:From The Verge of Suicide to a Life of Purpose and Joy

http://www.celebratingyourgiftoflife.com

Georgia Ellenwood, a former Wisconsin track runner, expressed her condolences in a comment under the school’s #Instagram post.

She earned academic all-Big Ten honors in 2020 and 2021 for cross country and in 2021 while running at Wisconsin.

#SarahShulze earned academic all-Big Ten honors in 2020 and 2021 for cross country and in 2021 while running at Wisconsin.

#SarahShulze was a member of the cross country, indoor track and outdoor track team at the #UniversityofWisconsin.

A 2019 graduate of Oak Park High, Shulze was a star distance runner at her high school. She was named Ventura County Athlete of the Year and earned a scholarship to Wisconsin in 2018.

Shulze’s family launched the Sarah Shulze Foundation to advance and support women’s rights, #studentathletes and #mentalhealth.

#SarahShulze was a star distance runner at her #highschool and was named Ventura County Athlete of the Year in 2018.

Shulze’s family launched the #SarahShulze Foundation “to advance and support Women’s Rights, #StudentAthletes and #MentalHealth.”

Funeral services at both #UniversityofWisconsin Madison and in California were announced. The UW Madison service will be held at campus on April 24 from 5-8 p.m.

The California service will be held at Calvary Community Church on May 2 at 3 pm.

Shulze is survived by her #parents, Brigitte and Scott, and her sisters Abbey and Ella.

#SarahShulze is survived by her #parents, Brigitte and Scott, and her sisters Abbey and Ella.

If you are struggling with #suicidalthoughts or are experiencing a #mentalhealthcrisis and live in New York City, you can call 1-888-NYC-WELL for free and confidential crisis counseling. If you live outside the five boroughs, you can dial the 24/7 #NationalSuicidePreventionhotline at 1-800-273-8255 or go to SuicidePreventionLifeline.org.
https://standingabovethecrowd.com/?p=10214

By Julie Mack

-

Maricela Alcala, chief executive officer of Gryphon Place, poses for a portrait in Kalamazoo County, Michigan on Monday April 11, 2022. Gryphon Place is agency that provides crisis and counseling services, they also provided a 24/7 helpline

This story is the latest from the Southwest Michigan Journalism Collaborative's #MentalWellnessProject

More than 15,000 Michiganders died by #suicide over the past decade, include 345 in Kalamazoo County. While rates are highest among middle-age and older #men, #suicides account for more than 20% of deaths among ages 15 to 24.

Studies indicate 90% of people who die by #suicide have an underlying — and potentially treatable — #mentalhealthcondition.

Regardless of age, experts say that asking someone directly, “Are you thinking of killing yourself?” can be effective at identifying someone at risk for #suicide, offering the opportunity to steer them to professional help.

#James Donaldson notes:Welcome to the “next chapter” of my life… being a voice and an advocate for #mentalhealthawarenessandsuicideprevention, especially pertaining to our younger generation of students and student-athletes.Getting men to speak up and reach out for help and assistance is one of my passions. Us men need to not suffer in silence or drown our sorrows in alcohol, hang out at bars and strip joints, or get involved with drug use.Having gone through a recent bout of #depression and #suicidalthoughts myself, I realize now, that I can make a huge difference in the lives of so many by sharing my story, and by sharing various resources I come across as I work in this space.  #http://bit.ly/JamesMentalHealthArticleOrder your copy of James Donaldson's latest book,#CelebratingYourGiftofLife:From The Verge of Suicide to a Life of Purpose and Joy

http://www.celebratingyourgiftoflife.com

Find this story from MLive/Kalamazoo

This story is part of the #MentalWellnessProject, a solutions-oriented journalism initiative covering #mentalhealthissues in southwest Michigan, created by the Southwest Michigan Journalism Collaborative. SWMJC is a group of 13 regional organizations dedicated to strengthening local journalism. For more info visit swmichjournalism.com
https://standingabovethecrowd.com/2022/11/jamesdonaldson-on-mentalhealth-saying-these-words-could-help-someone-who-is-contemplating-suicide-2/

How to take care of yourself and your family

Writer: Tonya Russell

Clinical Expert: Cara L. Macari, LCSW

What You'll Learn

- How can parents’ #depression affect #kids?

- What are some ways to talk to kids about your #depression?

- How can #parents who are dealing with #depression get support and treatment?

- Quick Read

- Full Article

- What is it like to #parent with #depression? 

- How a parent’s #depression can impact #children 

- Discussing your #depression with your #children

- Getting treatment and seeking support

Feeling sad, lacking energy and struggling to enjoy time with your #kids can make parenting feel overwhelming. Some #parents begin experiencing #depression around the birth of a #child, but some develop it later or find that parenting intensifies existing #mentalhealthchallenges. And it’s not just moms — #parents of any gender can experience #depression. If you’re a #parent dealing with #depression, you’re not alone, and treatment can help.

All #parents have hard days sometimes, but #depression is more than ordinary #stress. It can make you feel hopeless and disconnected from your #children. You might have trouble finding energy to do things with your #kids, which can lead to guilt and low #self-esteem. Then, those feelings make it even harder to feel motivated.

#Depression doesn’t mean that you’re a bad #parent. Talking to #kids about your #depression in a clear, age-appropriate way can help them understand what’s going on and avoid blaming themselves. For little #kids, you can share that you have a condition that affects your mind and feelings and makes you tired. For older #kids, you can name the disorder and explain in more detail how it affects you. It also helps #kids to know what you’re doing to cope: “I have hard days, but my #doctor is helping me find ways to make things easier.”

If you have #depression, getting treatment is one of the best ways to protect your children’s #mentalhealth. Therapy and medication can both make a big difference, and support groups can help too. It’s also important to make sure you have other #adults backing you up and looking out for your kids’ needs. For instance, you might have a couple of friends and family members on call to step in when you’re not feeling up to daily tasks.

#Depression comes with an increased risk of thinking about and attempting #suicide, so be sure to reach out for help if you’re having thoughts of #suicide. The #NationalSuicidePreventionLifeline (1-800-273-8255) offers free, 24/7 support across the #UnitedStates.

Most #parents wonder at one time or another whether or not they’re doing a good enough job. But for #parents dealing with #depression, these thoughts can feel overwhelming. Because #depression affects #self-esteem and makes it hard to stay engaged with daily life, parenting with #depression might make showing up for your #kids feel impossible.

If you’re a #parent dealing with #depression, you’re not alone. The latest research shows that 8.4 percent of #adults in the U.S. –– or 21 million people –– have had at least one major depressive episode.  And some research indicates that the risk of developing #depression may be higher for #parents of #children with intellectual and developmental disabilities. Here’s how to tell if you might be experiencing #depression, and how to care for your #kids (and yourself!) if you are. #Depression is treatable, and with support, #parents experiencing it can thrive.

What is it like to #parent with #depression? 

There are different degrees of #depression, and it can look different from person to person. Some #parents experience #depression around the birth of a #child, while others might develop it much later. Still others may have been dealing with #depression throughout their lives and find that parenting intensifies or changes the experience of coping with it. And #depression can affect #parents of any gender. You can learn more here about common kinds of #depression and their symptoms.

Cara Macari, LCSW, a clinical #socialworker at the #ChildMindInstitute explains that #depression often affects a parent’s motivation. “With #depression come strong urges to sort of hunker down and isolate oneself,” she says. “That makes it difficult to engage in activities, and could even make it difficult to engage with #kids.” 

This was the case for Jazmine Cruz, 34, of New Jersey. The mother of two and elementary #school teacher has battled #depression since her grandfather’s death when she was in #middleschool. Both of her births came around the same time as the deaths of close family members, which caused a spiral each time.  “You’re supposed to be overjoyed for your first #child, but I didn’t have that,” recalls Cruz. “Everything that should have been joyful about motherhood was impacted by #depression.” Cruz struggled to pull herself out of that feeling, sometimes to the point of her children’s milestones not seeming significant. She’d grown accustomed to feeling unmotivated and down, but once she had #kids, those symptoms became even more distressing.

Macari adds that some #parents with #depression may find spending time with their #children to be less enjoyable, and they may develop a monotone or flat affect. “This can make you appear or feel less warm to your #kids and others around you.” And the effects of #depression on parenting can also impact the parent’s #self-esteem. “When you’re feeling a spiral, you might skip going to the park, for example,” says Macari. “What comes along with that is, ‘I let my kids down, I’m a failure, I’m a terrible #parent.’ And after having that thought, you have more sadness, and more #depression. And when you have more sadness, and more #depression, you continue to have decreased motivation.”

It’s important to remember that #depression goes beyond ordinary parenting #stress. All #parents have rough days, and it’s normal to feel overwhelmed sometimes. The difference is that #depression symptoms persist on good days, too, though they may be exacerbated by stressful ones. For example, dreading a busy day from time to time is a normal part of parenting. But frequently feeling so down that you can’t get out of bed is a sign of #depression. 

How a parent’s #depression can impact #children 

Macari notes that parenting with #depression can make it difficult to help #kids deal with their own big emotions. “If you have a very young #child who’s having a lot of tantrums or #behavior problems,” she explains, “it’s harder for a parent to regulate their own emotions and help the #child regulate theirs.” Without stable emotional role models, young #children might have a harder time learning appropriate reactions to upsetting or frustrating situations.

For older #kids, a parent’s #depression can lead to a sense of responsibility that goes beyond what’s appropriate for their age. Macari notes that they may step into a parentified role, taking on decision-making and household duties when their #parents are down.

For instance, if a depressed #parent struggles with things like hygiene and housekeeping, or even caring for younger siblings, the #child in the #parent role may not have the support they need and miss out on age-appropriate activities like spending time on schoolwork and with friends.

Despite the challenges, it’s not a given that parental #depression will impact #kids negatively, especially when the #parent gets treatment. There are strategies and supports you can use to make parenting with #depression more manageable and make sure your kids’ needs are met.

Discussing your #depression with your #children

When a #parent is struggling, it’s often helpful for a #child to have an age-appropriate explanation.

Even young #children can tell when a grown up is dealing with #depression, even if they don’t understand it or have the words to describe it. Cruz describes her daughter’s experience: “Once she got to six or seven, she’d begin to notice my energy shift. She’d realize something was wrong because I’d gravitate towards my room.” 

New York City-based #therapist Jor-El Caraballo, LMHC, points out, “It’s critical to remember that #children are incredibly perceptive, and talking comfortably is essential.” He recommends having age-appropriate conversations. “The conversations should largely depend on the #kid and developmental level. For instance, it might be appropriate for younger #children to just share that the #parent isn’t feeling well and has a condition that affects their mind and makes them more tired than they might look.” It’s also important to emphasize that the parent’s feelings aren’t the child’s fault, since young #children in particular tend to blame themselves for problems around them.

For Cruz, part of dealing with #depression is being honest with her daughter about what she is experiencing. They have #mentalhealth check-ins twice a week, and her daughter participates, expressing her own concerns when she has them. They both try to be as descriptive as possible. When Cruz’s son is old enough to understand and articulate his feelings, she intends to bring him into the conversations as well.

For older #children, Caraballo recommends naming #depression and identifying specific symptoms. You can also tell #kids a little about how you’re taking care of yourself and getting support — for example, “I have hard days, but my #doctor is helping me find ways to make things easier.”

Clinical #psychologist Gillian Woldorf, PhD, uses this direct approach for her 13-year-old. Their conversations include calling Dr. Woldorf’s condition by name and describing how she’s treated it through therapy and medication. “I think it’s as important for my kid to know about the family history of #depression and #anxiety as it is for her to know about the family history of allergies and asthma,” she says. “I want her to know what to be alert to in her #teen years and beyond, so that if she does start to experience anything similar, she won’t feel as blindsided and alone as I did.”

Dr. Woldorf’s approach includes honest conversations about topics ranging from #suicidalideation to #self-harm, and she encourages her daughter to let her know if she or any of her friends are struggling with their #mentalhealth. She’s found in her practice treating #children and #teenagers that #kids can handle tough conversations, and that #parents who are hesitant to have these conversations may be battling their own sense of #stigma. “Today’s #kids and #teens are growing up in a society that’s much more open about #mentalhealthissues than the society of the ‘80s and ‘90s,” she says. 

#James Donaldson notes:Welcome to the “next chapter” of my life… being a voice and an advocate for #mentalhealthawarenessandsuicideprevention, especially pertaining to our younger generation of students and student-athletes.Getting men to speak up and reach out for help and assistance is one of my passions. Us men need to not suffer in silence or drown our sorrows in alcohol, hang out at bars and strip joints, or get involved with drug use.Having gone through a recent bout of #depression and #suicidalthoughts myself, I realize now, that I can make a huge difference in the lives of so many by sharing my story, and by sharing various resources I come across as I work in this space.  #http://bit.ly/JamesMentalHealthArticleOrder your copy of James Donaldson's latest book,#CelebratingYourGiftofLife:From The Verge of Suicide to a Life of Purpose and Joy

http://www.celebratingyourgiftoflife.com

Getting treatment and seeking support

Macari notes that getting treatment for your #depression is the best way to protect the #mentalhealth of your #children. “The good thing is that there are a lot of interventions for #parents with #depression,” Macari says. Effective treatments for #depression often include both therapy and medication, and support groups (either online or in person) can also help. Additionally, Macari notes that family therapy can be a way to help #kids and #adults build communication and coping skills together.

It’s also important to enlist other #adults (including your child’s other #parent, if they’re involved) in supporting you and your family while you’re dealing with #depression. For instance, you might have a couple of friends and family members on call to step in when you’re not feeling up to daily tasks. Setting up this support on days when you’re feeling better means that your whole family will be under less #stress during harder times. Cruz says that, even when she’s spiraling, having a support system has been crucial, and that network includes therapy, her mother, and her pastor. When she’s down, she’s grateful for the support of loved ones who are able to pitch in.

#Depression comes with an increased risk of thinking about and attempting #suicide, so be sure to reach out for help if you’re having thoughts of #suicide. The #NationalSuicidePreventionLifeline (1-800-273-8255) offers free, 24/7 support across the #UnitedStates.

Finally, remember that experiencing #depression does not mean that you’re an inadequate #parent. Both Cruz and Dr. Woldorf show that one can still care for their #children even when battling #depression. Being open about their struggles with their daughters has helped both their #mentalhealth and their children’s.
https://standingabovethecrowd.com/?p=10212

How to take care of yourself and your family

Writer: Tonya Russell

Clinical Expert: Cara L. Macari, LCSW

What You'll Learn

- How can parents’ #depression affect #kids?

- What are some ways to talk to kids about your #depression?

- How can #parents who are dealing with #depression get support and treatment?

- Quick Read

- Full Article

- What is it like to #parent with #depression? 

- How a parent’s #depression can impact #children 

- Discussing your #depression with your #children

- Getting treatment and seeking support

Feeling sad, lacking energy and struggling to enjoy time with your #kids can make parenting feel overwhelming. Some #parents begin experiencing #depression around the birth of a #child, but some develop it later or find that parenting intensifies existing #mentalhealthchallenges. And it’s not just moms — #parents of any gender can experience #depression. If you’re a #parent dealing with #depression, you’re not alone, and treatment can help.

All #parents have hard days sometimes, but #depression is more than ordinary #stress. It can make you feel hopeless and disconnected from your #children. You might have trouble finding energy to do things with your #kids, which can lead to guilt and low #self-esteem. Then, those feelings make it even harder to feel motivated.

#Depression doesn’t mean that you’re a bad #parent. Talking to #kids about your #depression in a clear, age-appropriate way can help them understand what’s going on and avoid blaming themselves. For little #kids, you can share that you have a condition that affects your mind and feelings and makes you tired. For older #kids, you can name the disorder and explain in more detail how it affects you. It also helps #kids to know what you’re doing to cope: “I have hard days, but my #doctor is helping me find ways to make things easier.”

If you have #depression, getting treatment is one of the best ways to protect your children’s #mentalhealth. Therapy and medication can both make a big difference, and support groups can help too. It’s also important to make sure you have other #adults backing you up and looking out for your kids’ needs. For instance, you might have a couple of friends and family members on call to step in when you’re not feeling up to daily tasks.

#Depression comes with an increased risk of thinking about and attempting #suicide, so be sure to reach out for help if you’re having thoughts of #suicide. The #NationalSuicidePreventionLifeline (1-800-273-8255) offers free, 24/7 support across the #UnitedStates.

Most #parents wonder at one time or another whether or not they’re doing a good enough job. But for #parents dealing with #depression, these thoughts can feel overwhelming. Because #depression affects #self-esteem and makes it hard to stay engaged with daily life, parenting with #depression might make showing up for your #kids feel impossible.

If you’re a #parent dealing with #depression, you’re not alone. The latest research shows that 8.4 percent of #adults in the U.S. –– or 21 million people –– have had at least one major depressive episode.  And some research indicates that the risk of developing #depression may be higher for #parents of #children with intellectual and developmental disabilities. Here’s how to tell if you might be experiencing #depression, and how to care for your #kids (and yourself!) if you are. #Depression is treatable, and with support, #parents experiencing it can thrive.

What is it like to #parent with #depression? 

There are different degrees of #depression, and it can look different from person to person. Some #parents experience #depression around the birth of a #child, while others might develop it much later. Still others may have been dealing with #depression throughout their lives and find that parenting intensifies or changes the experience of coping with it. And #depression can affect #parents of any gender. You can learn more here about common kinds of #depression and their symptoms.

Cara Macari, LCSW, a clinical #socialworker at the #ChildMindInstitute explains that #depression often affects a parent’s motivation. “With #depression come strong urges to sort of hunker down and isolate oneself,” she says. “That makes it difficult to engage in activities, and could even make it difficult to engage with #kids.” 

This was the case for Jazmine Cruz, 34, of New Jersey. The mother of two and elementary #school teacher has battled #depression since her grandfather’s death when she was in #middleschool. Both of her births came around the same time as the deaths of close family members, which caused a spiral each time.  “You’re supposed to be overjoyed for your first #child, but I didn’t have that,” recalls Cruz. “Everything that should have been joyful about motherhood was impacted by #depression.” Cruz struggled to pull herself out of that feeling, sometimes to the point of her children’s milestones not seeming significant. She’d grown accustomed to feeling unmotivated and down, but once she had #kids, those symptoms became even more distressing.

Macari adds that some #parents with #depression may find spending time with their #children to be less enjoyable, and they may develop a monotone or flat affect. “This can make you appear or feel less warm to your #kids and others around you.” And the effects of #depression on parenting can also impact the parent’s #self-esteem. “When you’re feeling a spiral, you might skip going to the park, for example,” says Macari. “What comes along with that is, ‘I let my kids down, I’m a failure, I’m a terrible #parent.’ And after having that thought, you have more sadness, and more #depression. And when you have more sadness, and more #depression, you continue to have decreased motivation.”

It’s important to remember that #depression goes beyond ordinary parenting #stress. All #parents have rough days, and it’s normal to feel overwhelmed sometimes. The difference is that #depression symptoms persist on good days, too, though they may be exacerbated by stressful ones. For example, dreading a busy day from time to time is a normal part of parenting. But frequently feeling so down that you can’t get out of bed is a sign of #depression. 

How a parent’s #depression can impact #children 

Macari notes that parenting with #depression can make it difficult to help #kids deal with their own big emotions. “If you have a very young #child who’s having a lot of tantrums or #behavior problems,” she explains, “it’s harder for a parent to regulate their own emotions and help the #child regulate theirs.” Without stable emotional role models, young #children might have a harder time learning appropriate reactions to upsetting or frustrating situations.

For older #kids, a parent’s #depression can lead to a sense of responsibility that goes beyond what’s appropriate for their age. Macari notes that they may step into a parentified role, taking on decision-making and household duties when their #parents are down.

For instance, if a depressed #parent struggles with things like hygiene and housekeeping, or even caring for younger siblings, the #child in the #parent role may not have the support they need and miss out on age-appropriate activities like spending time on schoolwork and with friends.

Despite the challenges, it’s not a given that parental #depression will impact #kids negatively, especially when the #parent gets treatment. There are strategies and supports you can use to make parenting with #depression more manageable and make sure your kids’ needs are met.

Discussing your #depression with your #children

When a #parent is struggling, it’s often helpful for a #child to have an age-appropriate explanation.

Even young #children can tell when a grown up is dealing with #depression, even if they don’t understand it or have the words to describe it. Cruz describes her daughter’s experience: “Once she got to six or seven, she’d begin to notice my energy shift. She’d realize something was wrong because I’d gravitate towards my room.” 

New York City-based #therapist Jor-El Caraballo, LMHC, points out, “It’s critical to remember that #children are incredibly perceptive, and talking comfortably is essential.” He recommends having age-appropriate conversations. “The conversations should largely depend on the #kid and developmental level. For instance, it might be appropriate for younger #children to just share that the #parent isn’t feeling well and has a condition that affects their mind and makes them more tired than they might look.” It’s also important to emphasize that the parent’s feelings aren’t the child’s fault, since young #children in particular tend to blame themselves for problems around them.

For Cruz, part of dealing with #depression is being honest with her daughter about what she is experiencing. They have #mentalhealth check-ins twice a week, and her daughter participates, expressing her own concerns when she has them. They both try to be as descriptive as possible. When Cruz’s son is old enough to understand and articulate his feelings, she intends to bring him into the conversations as well.

For older #children, Caraballo recommends naming #depression and identifying specific symptoms. You can also tell #kids a little about how you’re taking care of yourself and getting support — for example, “I have hard days, but my #doctor is helping me find ways to make things easier.”

Clinical #psychologist Gillian Woldorf, PhD, uses this direct approach for her 13-year-old. Their conversations include calling Dr. Woldorf’s condition by name and describing how she’s treated it through therapy and medication. “I think it’s as important for my kid to know about the family history of #depression and #anxiety as it is for her to know about the family history of allergies and asthma,” she says. “I want her to know what to be alert to in her #teen years and beyond, so that if she does start to experience anything similar, she won’t feel as blindsided and alone as I did.”

Dr. Woldorf’s approach includes honest conversations about topics ranging from #suicidalideation to #self-harm, and she encourages her daughter to let her know if she or any of her friends are struggling with their #mentalhealth. She’s found in her practice treating #children and #teenagers that #kids can handle tough conversations, and that #parents who are hesitant to have these conversations may be battling their own sense of #stigma. “Today’s #kids and #teens are growing up in a society that’s much more open about #mentalhealthissues than the society of the ‘80s and ‘90s,” she says. 

#James Donaldson notes:Welcome to the “next chapter” of my life… being a voice and an advocate for #mentalhealthawarenessandsuicideprevention, especially pertaining to our younger generation of students and student-athletes.Getting men to speak up and reach out for help and assistance is one of my passions. Us men need to not suffer in silence or drown our sorrows in alcohol, hang out at bars and strip joints, or get involved with drug use.Having gone through a recent bout of #depression and #suicidalthoughts myself, I realize now, that I can make a huge difference in the lives of so many by sharing my story, and by sharing various resources I come across as I work in this space.  #http://bit.ly/JamesMentalHealthArticleOrder your copy of James Donaldson's latest book,#CelebratingYourGiftofLife:From The Verge of Suicide to a Life of Purpose and Joy

http://www.celebratingyourgiftoflife.com

Getting treatment and seeking support

Macari notes that getting treatment for your #depression is the best way to protect the #mentalhealth of your #children. “The good thing is that there are a lot of interventions for #parents with #depression,” Macari says. Effective treatments for #depression often include both therapy and medication, and support groups (either online or in person) can also help. Additionally, Macari notes that family therapy can be a way to help #kids and #adults build communication and coping skills together.

It’s also important to enlist other #adults (including your child’s other #parent, if they’re involved) in supporting you and your family while you’re dealing with #depression. For instance, you might have a couple of friends and family members on call to step in when you’re not feeling up to daily tasks. Setting up this support on days when you’re feeling better means that your whole family will be under less #stress during harder times. Cruz says that, even when she’s spiraling, having a support system has been crucial, and that network includes therapy, her mother, and her pastor. When she’s down, she’s grateful for the support of loved ones who are able to pitch in.

#Depression comes with an increased risk of thinking about and attempting #suicide, so be sure to reach out for help if you’re having thoughts of #suicide. The #NationalSuicidePreventionLifeline (1-800-273-8255) offers free, 24/7 support across the #UnitedStates.

Finally, remember that experiencing #depression does not mean that you’re an inadequate #parent. Both Cruz and Dr. Woldorf show that one can still care for their #children even when battling #depression. Being open about their struggles with their daughters has helped both their #mentalhealth and their children’s.
https://standingabovethecrowd.com/?p=10212

By Sara Novak

#Pandemic conditions were ripe for a #mentalhealth disaster: #Isolation, a crashing economy, and a mystery illness taking aim with deadly accuracy. But while instances of #depression and #anxiety increased, there seemed to be one comforting prospect: In the past 2 years, #suicide numbers have dropped.

“We all thought that #suicides would go up. It was a perfect storm: the lack of medical care, increased #stress and bereavement. But when the numbers started coming in, they were actually decreasing,” says Paul Nestadt, MD, a #psychiatrist with Johns Hopkins University in Baltimore.

Experts were optimistic at first, pointing to a number of potential drivers for the 3% drop in #suicides nationally. Though it may not seem logical, #suicide rates tend to go down during times of crisis, says Nestadt, whose research focuses on #suicide. Studies of #suicides during World War II and just after 9/11 found similar decreases.

An overarching focus on #mentalhealth during the #pandemic may also have played a role. More people were seeking treatment during #mentalhealthcrises, both in person and through telehealth.

While Nestadt agrees that these things did play a role, he thinks the numbers could also be misleading. #Suicides, he says, could be hidden by the nation’s #opioid crisis.

Only a quarter of those who die by #suicide leave a note. And if they’re found dead of an overdose, it’s hard to know whether it was an accident or not, he says. Research has also shown that those with #substanceabuseproblems are more likely to die by #suicide than other groups.

“It could be that overdose deaths are going up and they’re hiding the number of #suicides,” he says.

#James Donaldson notes:Welcome to the “next chapter” of my life… being a voice and an advocate for #mentalhealthawarenessandsuicideprevention, especially pertaining to our younger generation of students and student-athletes.Getting men to speak up and reach out for help and assistance is one of my passions. Us men need to not suffer in silence or drown our sorrows in alcohol, hang out at bars and strip joints, or get involved with drug use.Having gone through a recent bout of #depression and #suicidalthoughts myself, I realize now, that I can make a huge difference in the lives of so many by sharing my story, and by sharing various resources I come across as I work in this space.  #http://bit.ly/JamesMentalHealthArticleOrder your copy of James Donaldson's latest book,#CelebratingYourGiftofLife:From The Verge of Suicide to a Life of Purpose and Joy

http://www.celebratingyourgiftoflife.com

Ian Rockett, PhD, is an epidemiologist at West Virginia University. He says #drugoverdoses muddy the waters for medical examiners, who are overworked and often poorly funded.

His research, which was published last year in The Lancet’s EClinicalMedicine, found that #suicides in Western states like Idaho, Montana, and Wyoming seemed higher than in other states because of the use of firearms. In contrast, in parts of the country where the #opioid epidemic was raging, deaths resulting from #drugoverdoses were often classified by coroners as “undetermined,” likely missing those that were actually #suicides. This artificially deflates national numbers.

Like Nestadt, Rockett is skeptical that #suicide deaths dropped during the #pandemic at the very same time that overdose deaths were up by 29% from 2020 to 2021.

Evidence needed to confirm an overdose #suicide, like a note or other signs of #suicidalbehavior, often can’t be found when medical examiners are determining the cause of death, says Rockett.

To better document cases, he’s been advocating the use of a method known as “psychological autopsy,” which combines an examination of medical and legal records with in-depth interviews of family and friends of the deceased. The tool was used effectively by the Los Angeles County coroner from the 1950s until the 1980s to uncover a number of barbiturate #suicides but was later dropped because of cost.

“If we’re really invested in obtaining high-quality #suicide data, this can help,” he says.

Hilary S. Connery, MD, an assistant professor of psychiatry at Harvard Medical #School, says the data in certain parts of the country with better access to #mentalhealthcare and stronger gun control laws may show a reduction. Research has shown that limiting access to firearms reduces #suicides.

But Connery isn’t convinced that the data reflects the true numbers. Health systems hit hard by the #pandemic were already strained by drug deaths.

“These resources are lacking,” she says, “and in many parts of the country, cause-of-death investigations hardly happen at all.”

#Suicides and #drugoverdoses can happen in clusters when people become desensitized to death, says Connery, who’s also the clinical director of McLean Hospital’s Division of #Alcohol, #Drugs and Addiction in Belmont, MA.

For example, when someone dies by #suicide, it increases the risk that their peers will do the same thing because of exposure to it. This is especially true when other members of the group are faced with similar stressors like war, community violence, poverty, and exclusion.

Accurate real-time surveillance data would help identify people at risk, Connery says.

“We need to stop working in silos, because suicides and overdoses are related issues with similar risk factors, and in many cases, prevention may need to be overlapping,” she says.

Jill Harkavy-Friedman, PhD, who leads the #AmericanFoundationforSuicidePrevention’s research grant program, believes the increase in overdose deaths is largely due to #fentanyl, a highly toxic substance that is being used to cut #heroin and #cocaine. She agrees that a portion of the 100,000 #drug deaths in 2020 may have been intentional but says suicides likely did decrease overall due to increased attention to #mentalhealth.

“We encouraged people to seek help when they were in distress, and it seems like they were listening,” she says.

Harkavy-Friedman also notes that the numbers were already going down in 2019, partially because we’re more open to having conversations about #suicide, a subject that was once off limits.

“We’re more open to discussing it in a way that makes people feel less alone,” she says.

For the groups that have access to care, it seems to be working. Experts generally agree that there are more tools available and a better understanding of #suicide today than in times past. Still, the data may not be reflecting what’s truly going on in our society, says Connery.

"The entire country is notified almost immediately when romaine lettuce is contaminated with E. coli, for example,” she says. “This same model could be used to prevent #suicide. With similar real-time data, we could step in and stop at least some of these deaths."

The undue #stigma associated with both #drugaddiction and #suicide is preventing people from getting the help they need, and it’s causing an unnecessary loss of life, says Connery. “In the end, whether it’s a #suicide or an overdose, these people are still ending up dead, often at a very young age.”

If you or someone you know is considering #suicide, please contact the #NationalSuicidePreventionLifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255), text "STRENGTH" to the Crisis Text Line at 741-741, or go to suicidepreventionlifeline.org.
https://standingabovethecrowd.com/2022/11/jamesdonaldson-on-mentalhealth-is-the-opioid-crisis-masking-real-rates-of-suicides/