Tips for helping your #kids be at their best and have fun, too

Photo by August de Richelieu on Pexels.com

Rachel Ehmke

What You'll Learn

- What can you do to prepare your #child for a #holiday gathering?
- How can you manage relatives’ expectations?
- How can you help picky eaters at family gatherings?

#Holidays are supposed to be happy family events, but a lot of times they can be very stressful. Here are some things #parents can do to help the #holidays go more smoothly.

A lot of #behaviorproblems can be avoided by telling your #kids exactly what you expect of them at an aunt or grandparent’s house. It’s good to be as specific as possible. It’s just as important to let your relatives and friends know what to expect of your #child. And it’s good to let them know that it’s not up to them to criticize or fix your #kid.

If your #child is easily over-stimulated by noise and people, it’s a good idea to find a place where they can go to just chill out and take a break. For #kids with lots of extra energy, giving them plenty of activities to do in the car and taking breaks to let them run around can help.

#Kids who don’t like to be touched or hugged or don’t like to talk around people they don’t know shouldn’t be made to do so. And relatives hosting gatherings should be told what a child’s limits are and not demand more.

If you have a #child who’s a picky eater, you might want to bring some food they really like, especially if the #holiday is centered around a meal. You can still encourage them to try something new, but that way you’ll know they won’t go hungry.

All #parents would love it if their #kids became best friends with cousins they see on #holidays. But that doesn’t happen just because #kids are the same age. #Parents can show #kids that even if they don’t really like a relative, they still need to be polite.

Know that no #holiday is going to be perfect. If you and your #child can come away with one or two good memories, you’ve done a good job.

We know from the songs and movies that #holidays are supposed to be an exciting, meaningful time for families to reunite and celebrate the things we cherish. We set aside time to practice both religious rituals and family traditions, we give thanks, and, of course, later on, we give presents. But sometimes #holiday gatherings are less magical and more, well, stressful.

The vacation from #school and work means a break from routine, something #kids and #parents alike depend on. Many families travel, facing traffic and long airplane rides, to attend one or more family get-togethers with rarely seen relatives who expect kisses and catching up. And most of these occasions will involve unfamiliar vegetable dishes.

How can anxious or easily frustrated #children hope to survive all that? We’ve compiled a list of seasonal tips to help all #kids—and #parents—enjoy the party.

Minimize conflict over #behavior

Your #kids know the rules at your house, but in the excitement and novelty of a relative’s home, good #behavior can be a casualty. Always have a conversation before leaving your house about how you expect your #children to behave, and don’t shy away from specifics.

“Knowing what the rules are at someone else’s house is always helpful for #kids,” says Steven Dickstein, MD, a #child and #adolescent #psychiatrist. “They know that you behave differently in church or synagogue than you do on the basketball court; they need to know what the rules are at grandma’s house.” If you have any questions about the house rules, don’t be afraid to ask.

Talk to your hosts early

Besides preparing your #children, sometimes it’s necessary to prepare your relatives so they know what to expect. “A #child who has #behavior difficulties at #school is going to have them at grandma’s house,” warns Dr. Dickstein, “so make sure their expectations are realistic. As a #parent you never want to put your #children in a situation where they’re set up to fail.”

Dr. Dickstein also recommends putting a moratorium on criticizing. “Warn family members about sensitive topics in the same way you’d warn people in advance that your #child has a nut allergy,” advises Dr. Dickstein. If you have a body-conscious #teen, no one should chide her for taking seconds on mashed potatoes. If your brother doesn’t believe #ADHD is real, now isn’t the time to discuss it.

Plan ahead for some peace and quiet

For #kids who are easily overstimulated or sensitive to things like noise and crowds, Rachel Busman, PsyD, a clinical #psychologist, recommends arranging for another room they can use when they need a break. “During family gatherings we want to achieve a balance between being social with relatives while also knowing that, if things get too overwhelming and intense, there’s a place to take a break and just be quiet.”

Keep #kids occupied

#Kids like structured activities, and they’ll probably be missing them while #school is out. Fortunately the #holidays lend themselves to art projects and family-friendly movies that #kids enjoy. You can even start new family traditions like cutting out and decorating sugar cookies or throwing a ball around outside.

If you are traveling with a #child who will need to sit in a car for any length of time, Dr. Busman advises packing a bag with multiple activities, particularly if the #child has a lot of energy. “Don’t just think four or five activities will be enough because you could be through those things before you even get on the highway,” she says.

When traveling Dr. Busman also recommends planning for breaks, even if it’s not that long of a trip. “#Kids who get restless or have difficulty managing their impulsive #behavior might really benefit from getting out of the car and running around for a few minutes.”

#James Donaldson notes:

Welcome to the “next chapter” of my life… being a voice and an advocate for #mentalhealthawarenessandsuicideprevention, especially pertaining to our younger generation of students and student-athletes.

Getting men to speak up and reach out for help and assistance is one of my passions. Us men need to not suffer in silence or drown our sorrows in alcohol, hang out at bars and strip joints, or get involved with drug use.

Having gone through a recent bout of #depression and #suicidalthoughts myself, I realize now, that I can make a huge difference in the lives of so many by sharing my story, and by sharing various resources I come across as I work in this space.  #http://bit.ly/JamesMentalHealthArticle

Order your copy of James Donaldson's latest book,

Celebrating Your Gift of Life:

From The Verge of Suicide to a Life of Purpose and Joy

Discuss social expectations

#Parents should have different social expectations for different #kids, and if necessary communicate them to your extended family. “You want to avoid those mandatory hugs and kisses or cheek-pinching for #kids that don’t do that or like it,” says Dr. Dickstein.

#Kids with selective mutism should not be pressured to talk during family gatherings (and relatives shouldn’t expect them to talk either). If you have an autistic #child who has been working on his social skills, maybe you can agree that he will sit at the table next to you and talk to familiar people—others should be expected to understand.

Getting along with cousins and other #kids they don’t see often can be a challenge. Just because kids are approximately the same age doesn’t mean they’ll be natural friends, but they should still try to get along—with #adult support if needed. If your daughter gets easily frustrated when she doesn’t get her way, encourage her to share and be polite with her cousins—and let her know she should find you if conflict arises that they can’t settle amicably.

Dr. Dickstein says family gatherings can be a teachable moment. “Let #kids know that family is important and sometimes you have to deal with people you don’t really like, but you should work it out, if you can. As #parents you are probably doing that with your relatives too, so you can model good social #behavior.”

Think about the menu

Family gatherings centered on a meal can put a lot of pressure on #kids who are picky eaters or who have sensory issues that limit their diet. If you are going to someone else’s house for dinner and you know the menu will be a problem, Dr. Busman suggests packing something your #child will eat and bringing it with you.

Have a conversation with your #child ahead of time to reassure them, explaining, “I know we’re going over to your aunt’s house and there’s going to be some different foods there, but we’ll make sure that we bring some things that you like. It would be great if you could try something else, too.” Exploring new foods is good for #kids, but it shouldn’t be the most important thing.

Manage your expectations

Both Dr. Busman and Dr. Dickstein agree that managing your own expectations of what the #holidays “should” be like is the most essential step to any holiday gathering. “As #parents we should check in with ourselves over what our own expectations are and not extend them to our #kids,” says Dr. Busman. “It would be great if the #kids could sit at the table and eat a nice #holiday meal with us, but they’re probably not going to want to sit still for a long time. It’s important to appreciate that #kids might find the fun in other things, like watching a movie with their cousins or running around outside. And that’s ok.”

Dr. Dickstein advises identifying one or two things you would like your #kids to get out of the #holidays—an idea, a value, a memory of doing something special together as a family—and work on achieving that. “But above all, give yourself a break,” he says. “You can’t make everyone happy, and perfect #holidays are nonexistent. Think of all those Hollywood comedies about disastrous family gatherings. There’s a reason why they’re funny.”

Rachel Ehmke is managing editor at the #ChildMindInstitute.

Photo by August de Richelieu on Pexels.com
https://standingabovethecrowd.com/2022/06/jamesdonaldson-on-mentalhealth-how-to-take-the-stress-out-of-family-gatherings/

Tips for helping your #kids be at their best and have fun, too

Photo by August de Richelieu on Pexels.com

Rachel Ehmke

What You'll Learn

- What can you do to prepare your #child for a #holiday gathering?
- How can you manage relatives’ expectations?
- How can you help picky eaters at family gatherings?

#Holidays are supposed to be happy family events, but a lot of times they can be very stressful. Here are some things #parents can do to help the #holidays go more smoothly.

A lot of #behaviorproblems can be avoided by telling your #kids exactly what you expect of them at an aunt or grandparent’s house. It’s good to be as specific as possible. It’s just as important to let your relatives and friends know what to expect of your #child. And it’s good to let them know that it’s not up to them to criticize or fix your #kid.

If your #child is easily over-stimulated by noise and people, it’s a good idea to find a place where they can go to just chill out and take a break. For #kids with lots of extra energy, giving them plenty of activities to do in the car and taking breaks to let them run around can help.

#Kids who don’t like to be touched or hugged or don’t like to talk around people they don’t know shouldn’t be made to do so. And relatives hosting gatherings should be told what a child’s limits are and not demand more.

If you have a #child who’s a picky eater, you might want to bring some food they really like, especially if the #holiday is centered around a meal. You can still encourage them to try something new, but that way you’ll know they won’t go hungry.

All #parents would love it if their #kids became best friends with cousins they see on #holidays. But that doesn’t happen just because #kids are the same age. #Parents can show #kids that even if they don’t really like a relative, they still need to be polite.

Know that no #holiday is going to be perfect. If you and your #child can come away with one or two good memories, you’ve done a good job.

We know from the songs and movies that #holidays are supposed to be an exciting, meaningful time for families to reunite and celebrate the things we cherish. We set aside time to practice both religious rituals and family traditions, we give thanks, and, of course, later on, we give presents. But sometimes #holiday gatherings are less magical and more, well, stressful.

The vacation from #school and work means a break from routine, something #kids and #parents alike depend on. Many families travel, facing traffic and long airplane rides, to attend one or more family get-togethers with rarely seen relatives who expect kisses and catching up. And most of these occasions will involve unfamiliar vegetable dishes.

How can anxious or easily frustrated #children hope to survive all that? We’ve compiled a list of seasonal tips to help all #kids—and #parents—enjoy the party.

Minimize conflict over #behavior

Your #kids know the rules at your house, but in the excitement and novelty of a relative’s home, good #behavior can be a casualty. Always have a conversation before leaving your house about how you expect your #children to behave, and don’t shy away from specifics.

“Knowing what the rules are at someone else’s house is always helpful for #kids,” says Steven Dickstein, MD, a #child and #adolescent #psychiatrist. “They know that you behave differently in church or synagogue than you do on the basketball court; they need to know what the rules are at grandma’s house.” If you have any questions about the house rules, don’t be afraid to ask.

Talk to your hosts early

Besides preparing your #children, sometimes it’s necessary to prepare your relatives so they know what to expect. “A #child who has #behavior difficulties at #school is going to have them at grandma’s house,” warns Dr. Dickstein, “so make sure their expectations are realistic. As a #parent you never want to put your #children in a situation where they’re set up to fail.”

Dr. Dickstein also recommends putting a moratorium on criticizing. “Warn family members about sensitive topics in the same way you’d warn people in advance that your #child has a nut allergy,” advises Dr. Dickstein. If you have a body-conscious #teen, no one should chide her for taking seconds on mashed potatoes. If your brother doesn’t believe #ADHD is real, now isn’t the time to discuss it.

Plan ahead for some peace and quiet

For #kids who are easily overstimulated or sensitive to things like noise and crowds, Rachel Busman, PsyD, a clinical #psychologist, recommends arranging for another room they can use when they need a break. “During family gatherings we want to achieve a balance between being social with relatives while also knowing that, if things get too overwhelming and intense, there’s a place to take a break and just be quiet.”

Keep #kids occupied

#Kids like structured activities, and they’ll probably be missing them while #school is out. Fortunately the #holidays lend themselves to art projects and family-friendly movies that #kids enjoy. You can even start new family traditions like cutting out and decorating sugar cookies or throwing a ball around outside.

If you are traveling with a #child who will need to sit in a car for any length of time, Dr. Busman advises packing a bag with multiple activities, particularly if the #child has a lot of energy. “Don’t just think four or five activities will be enough because you could be through those things before you even get on the highway,” she says.

When traveling Dr. Busman also recommends planning for breaks, even if it’s not that long of a trip. “#Kids who get restless or have difficulty managing their impulsive #behavior might really benefit from getting out of the car and running around for a few minutes.”

#James Donaldson notes:

Welcome to the “next chapter” of my life… being a voice and an advocate for #mentalhealthawarenessandsuicideprevention, especially pertaining to our younger generation of students and student-athletes.

Getting men to speak up and reach out for help and assistance is one of my passions. Us men need to not suffer in silence or drown our sorrows in alcohol, hang out at bars and strip joints, or get involved with drug use.

Having gone through a recent bout of #depression and #suicidalthoughts myself, I realize now, that I can make a huge difference in the lives of so many by sharing my story, and by sharing various resources I come across as I work in this space.  #http://bit.ly/JamesMentalHealthArticle

Order your copy of James Donaldson's latest book,

Celebrating Your Gift of Life:

From The Verge of Suicide to a Life of Purpose and Joy

Discuss social expectations

#Parents should have different social expectations for different #kids, and if necessary communicate them to your extended family. “You want to avoid those mandatory hugs and kisses or cheek-pinching for #kids that don’t do that or like it,” says Dr. Dickstein.

#Kids with selective mutism should not be pressured to talk during family gatherings (and relatives shouldn’t expect them to talk either). If you have an autistic #child who has been working on his social skills, maybe you can agree that he will sit at the table next to you and talk to familiar people—others should be expected to understand.

Getting along with cousins and other #kids they don’t see often can be a challenge. Just because kids are approximately the same age doesn’t mean they’ll be natural friends, but they should still try to get along—with #adult support if needed. If your daughter gets easily frustrated when she doesn’t get her way, encourage her to share and be polite with her cousins—and let her know she should find you if conflict arises that they can’t settle amicably.

Dr. Dickstein says family gatherings can be a teachable moment. “Let #kids know that family is important and sometimes you have to deal with people you don’t really like, but you should work it out, if you can. As #parents you are probably doing that with your relatives too, so you can model good social #behavior.”

Think about the menu

Family gatherings centered on a meal can put a lot of pressure on #kids who are picky eaters or who have sensory issues that limit their diet. If you are going to someone else’s house for dinner and you know the menu will be a problem, Dr. Busman suggests packing something your #child will eat and bringing it with you.

Have a conversation with your #child ahead of time to reassure them, explaining, “I know we’re going over to your aunt’s house and there’s going to be some different foods there, but we’ll make sure that we bring some things that you like. It would be great if you could try something else, too.” Exploring new foods is good for #kids, but it shouldn’t be the most important thing.

Manage your expectations

Both Dr. Busman and Dr. Dickstein agree that managing your own expectations of what the #holidays “should” be like is the most essential step to any holiday gathering. “As #parents we should check in with ourselves over what our own expectations are and not extend them to our #kids,” says Dr. Busman. “It would be great if the #kids could sit at the table and eat a nice #holiday meal with us, but they’re probably not going to want to sit still for a long time. It’s important to appreciate that #kids might find the fun in other things, like watching a movie with their cousins or running around outside. And that’s ok.”

Dr. Dickstein advises identifying one or two things you would like your #kids to get out of the #holidays—an idea, a value, a memory of doing something special together as a family—and work on achieving that. “But above all, give yourself a break,” he says. “You can’t make everyone happy, and perfect #holidays are nonexistent. Think of all those Hollywood comedies about disastrous family gatherings. There’s a reason why they’re funny.”

Rachel Ehmke is managing editor at the #ChildMindInstitute.

Photo by August de Richelieu on Pexels.com
https://standingabovethecrowd.com/?p=9532

Nearly 50,000 #Americans kill themselves every year, leaving behind millions of family members and friends

Michael R. Nadorff, Mississippi State University and Julie Cerel, University of Kentucky

No matter the merriment of the season, the #holidays remain a struggle for those who have lost a loved one to #suicide.

In 2020, #COVID-19 isolated many people from their families. Ironically, that #isolation may have spared #suicide-loss survivors some suffering; with no family gathering, one was less likely to notice the empty seat at the table. But this year, with many families coming together, #grief will surely find its place.

Half of all #Americans know someone who has died by #suicide. I am one of them, and the death of my grandmother inspired me to become a #suicide researcher. My co-author and colleague, a fellow #psychologist and professor of #socialwork, has examined how families can best cope after a #suicide. Here is a brief look at some of the startling things we have learned.

If you know someone suffering from a #suicide loss, reach out to offer support

Staggering statistics, tragic losses

#Suicide impacts far more people than you might think. In 2020, a staggering 45,800 #Americans killed themselves]. #Suicide is the 11th-leading cause of death overall in the U.S. and the second-leading cause of death for #youth and young #adults. There are more suicides than deaths from car accidents, homicides or breast cancer every year in the U.S.; between 1999 and 2018, the #suicide rate increased by 35%.

Stunning as these statistics are, they reveal little about the devastation that #suicide leaves behind. Our work demonstrates that, for each #suicide, an average of 135 people knew the person. That's 6 million #Americans every year who are directly impacted from the loss of a life to #suicide.

Along with #grief, many #suicide-loss survivors feel guilty. They believe they contributed to the death or could have prevented it. Some spend the rest of their lives wondering "What if?" One study shows that 92% of #parents who lost a #child to #suicide experienced guilt; 34% report the guilt was the worst part of their #grief.

Helping those left behind

Although survivors often say "I should have known," no one can predict #suicide, not even the experts. Researchers and clinicians are no better at forecasting #suicide than they were 50 years ago. Their odds of a correct prediction are roughly the same as a coin flip. To expect a layperson to succeed where experts frequently fail is unreasonable.

There are hundreds of risk factors for most suicides; single-cause suicides are very rare. Those who feel solely responsible for a loved one's #suicide are being unfair to themselves.

Put simply, those who kill themselves feel lonely and disconnected. They feel like their death would be better for friends and loved ones. The pain becomes so overwhelming that the person overcomes the most powerful instinct of the human species: self-preservation.

#James Donaldson notes:

Welcome to the “next chapter” of my life… being a voice and an advocate for #mentalhealthawarenessandsuicideprevention, especially pertaining to our younger generation of students and student-athletes.

Getting men to speak up and reach out for help and assistance is one of my passions. Us men need to not suffer in silence or drown our sorrows in alcohol, hang out at bars and strip joints, or get involved with drug use.

Having gone through a recent bout of #depression and #suicidalthoughts myself, I realize now, that I can make a huge difference in the lives of so many by sharing my story, and by sharing various resources I come across as I work in this space.  #http://bit.ly/JamesMentalHealthArticle

Order your copy of James Donaldson's latest book,

Celebrating Your Gift of Life:

From The Verge of Suicide to a Life of Purpose and Joy

http://www.celebratingyourgiftoflife.com

Don't withdraw

Often, family and friends don't know what to say to someone coping with a #suicide loss during the #holidays, so they say nothing. It feels safer.

But withdrawing does not help. Instead, just be there. You don't have to make a speech; "I'm so sorry" is enough. Let them know they are not alone. Let them talk if they want to. Let them share stories about the person so that the death - those last minutes of their life - does not define how the lost loved one is remembered. Don't be afraid to say the person's name or ask questions about them.

These very simple acts of listening, being present and offering space to talk about and reflect on the person who has been lost will be more meaningful than you can imagine. This is particularly true when others in the survivor's life are withdrawing because they don't know how to interact with someone who has experienced this type of loss. For those you care about who have lost a loved one to #suicide, you can help make the #holidays a little easier and maybe even brighter.

The #NationalSuicidePreventionLifeline is available 24/7 by phone at 1-800-273-8255 and through the Crisis Text Line, 741-741.

Michael R. Nadorff, Associate Professor of Psychology, Mississippi State University and Julie Cerel, Professor of Social Work, University of Kentucky
https://standingabovethecrowd.com/2022/06/jamesdonaldson-on-mentalhealth-how-to-help-those-who-have-lost-loved-ones-to-suicide-cope-with-grief-during-the-holidays/

Nearly 50,000 #Americans kill themselves every year, leaving behind millions of family members and friends

Michael R. Nadorff, Mississippi State University and Julie Cerel, University of Kentucky

No matter the merriment of the season, the #holidays remain a struggle for those who have lost a loved one to #suicide.

In 2020, #COVID-19 isolated many people from their families. Ironically, that #isolation may have spared #suicide-loss survivors some suffering; with no family gathering, one was less likely to notice the empty seat at the table. But this year, with many families coming together, #grief will surely find its place.

Half of all #Americans know someone who has died by #suicide. I am one of them, and the death of my grandmother inspired me to become a #suicide researcher. My co-author and colleague, a fellow #psychologist and professor of #socialwork, has examined how families can best cope after a #suicide. Here is a brief look at some of the startling things we have learned.

If you know someone suffering from a #suicide loss, reach out to offer support

Staggering statistics, tragic losses

#Suicide impacts far more people than you might think. In 2020, a staggering 45,800 #Americans killed themselves]. #Suicide is the 11th-leading cause of death overall in the U.S. and the second-leading cause of death for #youth and young #adults. There are more suicides than deaths from car accidents, homicides or breast cancer every year in the U.S.; between 1999 and 2018, the #suicide rate increased by 35%.

Stunning as these statistics are, they reveal little about the devastation that #suicide leaves behind. Our work demonstrates that, for each #suicide, an average of 135 people knew the person. That's 6 million #Americans every year who are directly impacted from the loss of a life to #suicide.

Along with #grief, many #suicide-loss survivors feel guilty. They believe they contributed to the death or could have prevented it. Some spend the rest of their lives wondering "What if?" One study shows that 92% of #parents who lost a #child to #suicide experienced guilt; 34% report the guilt was the worst part of their #grief.

Helping those left behind

Although survivors often say "I should have known," no one can predict #suicide, not even the experts. Researchers and clinicians are no better at forecasting #suicide than they were 50 years ago. Their odds of a correct prediction are roughly the same as a coin flip. To expect a layperson to succeed where experts frequently fail is unreasonable.

There are hundreds of risk factors for most suicides; single-cause suicides are very rare. Those who feel solely responsible for a loved one's #suicide are being unfair to themselves.

Put simply, those who kill themselves feel lonely and disconnected. They feel like their death would be better for friends and loved ones. The pain becomes so overwhelming that the person overcomes the most powerful instinct of the human species: self-preservation.

#James Donaldson notes:

Welcome to the “next chapter” of my life… being a voice and an advocate for #mentalhealthawarenessandsuicideprevention, especially pertaining to our younger generation of students and student-athletes.

Getting men to speak up and reach out for help and assistance is one of my passions. Us men need to not suffer in silence or drown our sorrows in alcohol, hang out at bars and strip joints, or get involved with drug use.

Having gone through a recent bout of #depression and #suicidalthoughts myself, I realize now, that I can make a huge difference in the lives of so many by sharing my story, and by sharing various resources I come across as I work in this space.  #http://bit.ly/JamesMentalHealthArticle

Order your copy of James Donaldson's latest book,

Celebrating Your Gift of Life:

From The Verge of Suicide to a Life of Purpose and Joy

http://www.celebratingyourgiftoflife.com

Don't withdraw

Often, family and friends don't know what to say to someone coping with a #suicide loss during the #holidays, so they say nothing. It feels safer.

But withdrawing does not help. Instead, just be there. You don't have to make a speech; "I'm so sorry" is enough. Let them know they are not alone. Let them talk if they want to. Let them share stories about the person so that the death - those last minutes of their life - does not define how the lost loved one is remembered. Don't be afraid to say the person's name or ask questions about them.

These very simple acts of listening, being present and offering space to talk about and reflect on the person who has been lost will be more meaningful than you can imagine. This is particularly true when others in the survivor's life are withdrawing because they don't know how to interact with someone who has experienced this type of loss. For those you care about who have lost a loved one to #suicide, you can help make the #holidays a little easier and maybe even brighter.

The #NationalSuicidePreventionLifeline is available 24/7 by phone at 1-800-273-8255 and through the Crisis Text Line, 741-741.

Michael R. Nadorff, Associate Professor of Psychology, Mississippi State University and Julie Cerel, Professor of Social Work, University of Kentucky
https://standingabovethecrowd.com/?p=9546

From how to listen to their feelings to how to respond to #anxiety, disruptive #behavior and more

Rachel Ehmke

What You'll Learn

- What are normal reactions for kids to have to #divorce?
- What can #parents do to ease the transition?
- How can divorcing #parents work together to help their #kids?

When #parents get divorced, one of their biggest jobs is to make sure the #kids are okay. #Kids react to divorce in different ways. They might feel like they’ve done something to cause the #divorce. They might feel anxious. They might withdraw or act out. These are all totally normal reactions.

The best thing #parents can do is let their #kids know that any emotions they have are okay. Trying to cheer them up just puts pressure on them to feel a way they don’t. Instead, try to listen to how they’re feeling, even if it’s upsetting to you. Then instead of trying to “fix” their problem, you might say something like, “I understand why you feel that way. Can you tell me more?” This makes a #child feel like they can talk to you without worrying about making you feel bad.

A structured routine helps #kids with #anxiety. It also helps prevent #behavioral problems and helps #kids stay focused at #school. Letting #teachers know what’s going on is a good idea. Some #kids may need extra attention from you. If a #kid seems to be avoiding friends or #school, try to spend extra time with them. If this doesn’t help, it’s a sign your #child might be depressed. They might need professional help.

There are some general rules of thumb for #parents to follow that will help #kids through #divorce: Try to be as calm as possible. This will make #kids feel secure. Let #kids know the #divorce is not their fault. Do the best you can not to say anything bad about your spouse in front of the #kids. It’s important for #kids to know that you and your spouse are on the same page about parenting. And of course, you can’t be your best for your #kids unless you’re also taking care of yourself.

One of the biggest priorities during a #divorce is ensuring that #children continue to thrive. While it is undeniable that divorces are challenging for #kids of all ages to handle, the good news is that there is a lot that #parents can do to make sure their #children feel supported during the process.

Once you’ve told your #kids that you’re getting a #divorce, it’s common for them to go through an adjustment period. You, too, will likely be going through a period of adjustment as family bonds are being reconfigured and a new “normal” is established.

Stephanie Samar, PsyD, a #child #psychologist, recommends not being too alarmed by some of the reactions you may be seeing early in the transition. “Think about how chaotic it feels for the #adults in the situation, who have at least some control,” she notes. “That adjustment period has to happen, so honor it and don’t start to send the message ‘I just want you to be happy.’” You don’t want to inadvertently pressure #kids to feel like they need to be on board and happy about a #divorce. While it may be true, of course, that you just want your kids to be happy as soon as possible, giving them the room to process their own feelings is an important part of adjusting.

#James Donaldson notes:

Welcome to the “next chapter” of my life… being a voice and an advocate for #mentalhealthawarenessandsuicideprevention, especially pertaining to our younger generation of students and student-athletes.

Getting men to speak up and reach out for help and assistance is one of my passions. Us men need to not suffer in silence or drown our sorrows in alcohol, hang out at bars and strip joints, or get involved with drug use.

Having gone through a recent bout of #depression and #suicidalthoughts myself, I realize now, that I can make a huge difference in the lives of so many by sharing my story, and by sharing various resources I come across as I work in this space.  #http://bit.ly/JamesMentalHealthArticle

Order your copy of James Donaldson's latest book,

Celebrating Your Gift of Life:

From The Verge of Suicide to a Life of Purpose and Joy

http://www.celebratingyourgiftoflife.com

Respect their emotions

One way to let #kids know that it’s okay to feel upset or angry is to encourage them to share how they’re feeling. Dr. Samar recommends saying, “We want to know how you’re feeling about this, and you’re not going to hurt our feelings if you tell us how you feel.”

This may be easier said than done, since what your #child has to say might be difficult to hear, but it’s important to give her the chance to be honest. #Kids sometimes try to protect their #parents from the truth about how they’re feeling because they don’t want to make their #parents feel upset — or more upset, if kids are already worried about a #parent who’s unhappy about the break-up. But it isn’t a child’s job to make a #parent feel better, and you don’t want to inadvertently send the message that you will be sad if your #child is sad. Make it clear that you are interested in what your #child has to say and, as Dr. Samar says, “then be careful not to let it hurt your feelings. Get whatever support you need to deal with how you feel and how your #child feels and how that impacts you.”

As part of respecting your child’s emotions, do your best to just listen and not intervene. It’s every parent’s instinct to jump in and protect their #child from things that are painful, but #divorce is inevitably painful. Taking a step back and just listening allows your #child to feel heard and feel that her opinion matters. It also lets her know that her emotions aren’t a problem to be solved or “gotten over.” This requires careful listening and empathizing, which #psychologists call “validation.” For example, if your daughter says she is angry, instead of immediately looking for a way to cheer her up, you could validate that emotion by saying that you understand why she might feel that way and invite her to tell you more.

What to expect, and how to respond

While it is normal for #kids to have an adjustment period in which they might be struggling, there are things you can do to help your #kids cope in the healthiest way possible. Here are some common worries or #behaviors #parents might see, and how to help.

Guilt

It is common for #kids to worry that they did something to cause their #parents to get divorced, especially younger #kids, notes Jamie Howard, PhD, a clinical #psychologist at the #ChildMindInstitute. “#Kids are more prone to blaming themselves when they’re younger because they’re so egocentric,” says Dr. Howard. “Even if you think they understand it, that’s something you want to make sure that you tell them explicitly: It’s not their fault.”

#Anxiety

#Divorce means some fundamental changes in routines, which can make many #kids anxious. If you notice signs of #anxiety in your #children, one way to help is to make it very clear to #children what they can expect. For example, what will their new living arrangements look like? For younger #kids, it might help to post a calendar on the wall to show them where they will be each day.

#Children will be reassured if you are able to establish a consistent routine, and as a #parent you should make that a priority. “We see #kids struggle more if their #parents are struggling to figure out how to co-#parent and what that’s going to look like,” says Dr. Samar. “So the earlier that you can establish ‘You’ll be here for these days and here for these days’ and have that be consistent and predictable, you’ll see #kids settling in quicker and having less struggle.”

#Behaviorissues

#Children may start acting out more, too. This may be another sign of #anxiety or it may be out of a desire to figure out what the new boundaries are. Either way, creating a structured environment with clear expectations of #behavior should help.

“#Kids might see this as an opportunity to test new boundaries, and without as much of a structured environment, their #behavior might get worse. As much as possible keep things structured in the same way in both households,” Dr. Howard advises.

Regression

It is also common for #kids to respond to a big transition in their lives by needing more parental attention. “Some #kids will be needing more parental and #adult support with things they used to be able to do independently,” says Dr. Samar. “You might see their sleep routine is disrupted or they’ll need you to do some self-care things for them a bit more than they used to.”

Withdrawing

#Parents might also see the opposite — #kids becoming more withdrawn or aloof. While giving #children their space is important, you still want to create opportunities to spend time with them, so consider suggesting a special outing that may be particularly appealing or other ways to bond. Make sure, too, to do your best to be available to talk if your #child wants to, and do a good job listening to what he has to say when he does.

If you notice that your #child is losing interest in activities that he used to enjoy, or not wanting to spend time with friends, try to get him back on track. You want to help maintain a sense of normalcy, and these outlets are important. Wanting to withdraw may also be a sign of #depression, adjustment disorder or #school refusal, which are all linked to #divorce, so you will want to keep an eye out if your #child continues to avoid things.

Trouble focusing

Some #kids may also start experiencing difficulty concentrating on #school work. Life might be feeling very chaotic, so do your best to create predictable, reassuring routines at home, including a regular homework routine. It’s also a good idea to alert #teachers to the fact that your family is going through a #divorce, so that your #child can get extra support at #school if she needs it.

Good parenting tips during a #divorce

Model calm: As much as possible, you want to model “we’ve got this,” says Dr. Howard. “Even if it’s not true, even if only one #parent has got this. Particularly if you have young #children, then you get it to work.” Modeling calm and insulating #children from conflict are important during this time. Likewise, try to maintain as much normalcy as possible with home life and extracurricular activities. When changes do need to be made, create new routines and try to stick to them.

Be civil about your ex: It’s not healthy for #children to have unnecessary conflict in their relationships with their #parents, so do your best not to speak negatively about your spouse around your #child. “Someone could be a lousy spouse and a good #parent,” notes Dr. Howard, “and you really don’t want to deprive your #child of a good #parent. #Kids do better with two loving #parents, divorced or married.”

Sometimes conflict can arise once you begin working out how to co-parent. You may need to make compromises or take turns making decisions. Whatever you do, try to present a united front to your #child as much as possible. If your spouse really isn’t willing to be cooperative, do your best to set routines and expectations for your home, since you do have control over that.

Get support: Talk to your child’s #school #counselor or #teacher to find out if there are any services available through the #school. Many #schools have programs for #children who are going through a #divorce, such as Banana Splits, which is a #divorce support group for #kids.

Also, if you are struggling, make sure you are getting support for yourself. Talk to your friends and family if you are feeling overwhelmed and ask for favors if you need them. People often want to help out, but they don’t know what to do, so let them know if you need a hand with the groceries or just want to let off some steam. If you think you might benefit from talking with a #therapist, don’t hesitate to make an appointment. Remember, you can best support your #child if you are feeling supported, too.

Rachel Ehmke

Rachel Ehmke is managing editor at the #ChildMindInstitute.
https://standingabovethecrowd.com/2022/06/jamesdonaldson-on-mentalhealth-supporting-kids-during-a-divorce/

From how to listen to their feelings to how to respond to #anxiety, disruptive #behavior and more Rachel Ehmke What You'll Learn What are normal reactions for kids to have to #divorce?What can #parents do to ease the transition?How can divorcing #parents work together to help their #kids? When #parents get divorced, one of their biggest jobs is to make sure the #kids are okay. #Kids react to divorce in different ways. They might feel like they’ve done something to cause the #divorce. They might feel anxious. They might withdraw or act out. These are all totally normal reactions. The best thing #parents can do is let their #kids know that any emotions they have are okay. Trying to cheer them up just puts pressure on them to feel a way they don’t. Instead, try to listen to how they’re feeling, even if it’s upsetting to you. Then instead of trying to “fix” their problem, you might say something like, “I understand why you feel that way. Can you tell me more?” This makes a #child feel like they can talk to you without worrying about making you feel bad. A structured routine helps #kids with #anxiety. It also helps prevent #behavioral problems and helps #kids stay focused at #school. Letting #teachers know what’s going on is a good idea. Some #kids may need extra attention from you. If a #kid seems to be avoiding friends or #school, try to spend extra time with them. If this doesn’t help, it’s a sign your #child might be depressed. They might need professional help. There are some general rules of thumb for #parents to follow that will help #kids through #divorce: Try to be as calm as possible. This will make #kids feel secure. Let #kids know the #divorce is not their fault. Do the best you can not to say anything bad about your spouse in front of the #kids. It’s important for #kids to know that you and your spouse are on the same page about parenting. And of course, you can’t be your best for your #kids unless you’re also taking care of yourself. One of the biggest priorities during a #divorce is ensuring that #children continue to thrive. While it is undeniable that divorces are challenging for #kids of all ages to handle, the good news is that there is a lot that #parents can do to make sure their #children feel supported during the process. Once you’ve told your #kids that you’re getting a #divorce, it’s common for them to go through an adjustment period. You, too, will likely be going through a period of adjustment as family bonds are being reconfigured and a new “normal” is established. Stephanie Samar, PsyD, a #child #psychologist, recommends not being too alarmed by some of the reactions you may be seeing early in the transition. “Think about how chaotic it feels for the #adults in the situation, who have at least some control,” she notes. “That adjustment period has to happen, so honor it and don’t start to send the message ‘I just want you to be happy.’” You don’t want to inadvertently pressure #kids to feel like they need to be on board and happy about a #divorce. While it may be true, of course, that you just want your kids to be happy as soon as possible, giving them the room to process their own feelings is an important part of adjusting. #James Donaldson notes: Welcome to the “next chapter” of my life… being a voice and an advocate for #mentalhealthawarenessandsuicideprevention, especially pertaining to our younger generation of students and student-athletes. Getting men to speak up and reach out for help and assistance is one of my passions. Us men need to not suffer in silence or drown our sorrows in alcohol, hang out at bars and strip joints, or get involved with drug use. Having gone through a recent bout of #depression and #suicidalthoughts myself, I realize now, that I can make a huge difference in the lives of so many by sharing my story, and by sharing various resources I come across as I work in this space.  #http://bit.ly/JamesMentalHealthArticle Order your copy of James Donaldson's latest book, Celebrating Your Gift of Life: From The Verge of Suicide to a Life of Purpose and Joy http://www.celebratingyourgiftoflife.com Respect their emotions One way to let #kids know that it’s okay to feel upset or angry is to encourage them to share how they’re feeling. Dr. Samar recommends saying, “We want to know how you’re feeling about this, and you’re not going to hurt our feelings if you tell us how you feel.” This may be easier said than done, since what your #child has to say might be difficult to hear, but it’s important to give her the chance to be honest. #Kids sometimes try to protect their #parents from the truth about how they’re feeling because they don’t want to make their #parents feel upset — or more upset, if kids are already worried about a #parent who’s unhappy about the break-up. But it isn’t a child’s job to make a #parent feel better, and you don’t want to inadvertently send the message that you will be sad if your #child is sad. Make it clear that you are interested in what your #child has to say and, as Dr. Samar says, “then be careful not to let it hurt your feelings. Get whatever support you need to deal with how you feel and how your #child feels and how that impacts you.” As part of respecting your child’s emotions, do your best to just listen and not intervene. It’s every parent’s instinct to jump in and protect their #child from things that are painful, but #divorce is inevitably painful. Taking a step back and just listening allows your #child to feel heard and feel that her opinion matters. It also lets her know that her emotions aren’t a problem to be solved or “gotten over.” This requires careful listening and empathizing, which #psychologists call “validation.” For example, if your daughter says she is angry, instead of immediately looking for a way to cheer her up, you could validate that emotion by saying that you understand why she might feel that way and invite her to tell you more. What to expect, and how to respond While it is normal for #kids to have an adjustment period in which they might be struggling, there are things you can do to help your #kids cope in the healthiest way possible. Here are some common worries or #behaviors #parents might see, and how to help. Guilt It is common for #kids to worry that they did something to cause their #parents to get divorced, especially younger #kids, notes Jamie Howard, PhD, a clinical #psychologist at the #ChildMindInstitute. “#Kids are more prone to blaming themselves when they’re younger because they’re so egocentric,” says Dr. Howard. “Even if you think they understand it, that’s something you want to make sure that you tell them explicitly: It’s not their fault.” #Anxiety #Divorce means some fundamental changes in routines, which can make many #kids anxious. If you notice signs of #anxiety in your #children, one way to help is to make it very clear to #children what they can expect. For example, what will their new living arrangements look like? For younger #kids, it might help to post a calendar on the wall to show them where they will be each day. #Children will be reassured if you are able to establish a consistent routine, and as a #parent you should make that a priority. “We see #kids struggle more if their #parents are struggling to figure out how to co-#parent and what that’s going to look like,” says Dr. Samar. “So the earlier that you can establish ‘You’ll be here for these days and here for these days’ and have that be consistent and predictable, you’ll see #kids settling in quicker and having less struggle.” #Behaviorissues #Children may start acting out more, too. This may be another sign of #anxiety or it may be out of a desire to figure out what the new boundaries are. Either way, creating a structured environment with clear expectations of #behavior should help. “#Kids might see this as an opportunity to test new boundaries, and without as much of a structured environment, their #behavior might get worse. As much as possible keep things structured in the same way in both households,” Dr. Howard advises. Regression It is also common for #kids to respond to a big transition in their lives by needing more parental attention. “Some #kids will be needing more parental and #adult support with things they used to be able to do independently,” says Dr. Samar. “You might see their sleep routine is disrupted or they’ll need you to do some self-care things for them a bit more than they used to.” Withdrawing #Parents might also see the opposite — #kids becoming more withdrawn or aloof. While giving #children their space is important, you still want to create opportunities to spend time with them, so consider suggesting a special outing that may be particularly appealing or other ways to bond. Make sure, too, to do your best to be available to talk if your #child wants to, and do a good job listening to what he has to say when he does. If you notice that your #child is losing interest in activities that he used to enjoy, or not wanting to spend time with friends, try to get him back on track. You want to help maintain a sense of normalcy, and these outlets are important. Wanting to withdraw may also be a sign of #depression, adjustment disorder or #school refusal, which are all linked to #divorce, so you will want to keep an eye out if your #child continues to avoid things. Trouble focusing Some #kids may also start experiencing difficulty concentrating on #school work. Life might be feeling very chaotic, so do your best to create predictable, reassuring routines at home, including a regular homework routine. It’s also a good idea to alert #teachers to the fact that your family is going through a #divorce, so that your #child can get extra support at #school if she needs it. Good parenting tips during a #divorce Model calm: As much as possible, you want to model “we’ve got this,” says Dr. Howard. “Even if it’s not true, even if only one #parent has got this. Particularly if you have young #children, then you get it to work.” Modeling calm and insulating #children from conflict are important during this time. Likewise, try to maintain as much normalcy as possible with home life and extracurricular activities. When changes do need to be made, create new routines and try to stick to them. Be civil about your ex: It’s not healthy for #children to have unnecessary conflict in their relationships with their #parents, so do your best not to speak negatively about your spouse around your #child. “Someone could be a lousy spouse and a good #parent,” notes Dr. Howard, “and you really don’t want to deprive your #child of a good #parent. #Kids do better with two loving #parents, divorced or married.” Sometimes conflict can arise once you begin working out how to co-parent. You may need to make compromises or take turns making decisions. Whatever you do, try to present a united front to your #child as much as possible. If your spouse really isn’t willing to be cooperative, do your best to set routines and expectations for your home, since you do have control over that. Get support: Talk to your child’s #school #counselor or #teacher to find out if there are any services available through the #school. Many #schools have programs for #children who are going through a #divorce, such as Banana Splits, which is a #divorce support group for #kids. Also, if you are struggling, make sure you are getting support for yourself. Talk to your friends and family if you are feeling overwhelmed and ask for favors if you need them. People often want to help out, but they don’t know what to do, so let them know if you need a hand with the groceries or just want to let off some steam. If you think you might benefit from talking with a #therapist, don’t hesitate to make an appointment. Remember, you can best support your #child if you are feeling supported, too. Rachel Ehmke Rachel Ehmke is managing editor at the #ChildMindInstitute.
https://standingabovethecrowd.com/?p=9406

By 

Hannah Furfaro 

#SeattleTimes #MentalHealthProject reporter

The #MentalHealthProject is a #SeattleTimes initiative focused on covering #mental and #behavioralhealthissues. It is funded by Ballmer Group, a national organization focused on economic mobility for #children and families. The #SeattleTimes maintains editorial control over work produced by this team.

Editor’s note: This story focuses on #suicide, #self-harm and other topics related to psychiatric distress. If you or a loved one is in crisis, resources are available here.

Dr. Rebecca Marshall became increasingly concerned as she did rounds in the ER at a children’s hospital in Portland.

More young #children than usual — and #girls in particular — were being brought to the hospital after swallowing medications to attempt #suicide. #Children of jarringly young ages, some just 9 or 10, were seeking out pills in the family medicine cabinet. As Marshall tried to come to grips with what she was witnessing, she’d make a point to ask: Why did you think about ending your life? 

Warning signs of #suicide

If you are experiencing suicidal thoughts or have concerns about someone else who may be, call the #NationalSuicidePreventionLifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255). You will be routed to a local crisis center where professionals can talk you through a risk assessment and provide resources in your community. The more of the signs below that a person shows, the greater the risk of #suicide.

- Talking about wanting to die
- Looking for a way to kill oneself
- Talking about feeling hopeless or having no purpose
- Talking about feeling trapped or in unbearable pain
- Talking about being a burden to others
- Increasing the use of #alcohol or #drugs
- Acting anxious, agitated or recklessly
- Sleeping too little or too much
- Withdrawing or feeling isolated
- Showing rage or talking about seeking revenge
- Displaying extreme mood swings

Source: #NationalSuicidePreventionLifeline

There was no single reason, and it’s difficult to generalize about #youth #suicide because there’s only limited data. Sometimes #children she spoke with said they didn’t know how they got the idea. But a worrisome attitude shift seemed to underlie much of what she saw.

“There’s kind of this idea that’s out there now, which is if you get really overwhelmed, if something bad happens, an option is trying to kill yourself,” she said, rather than messaging that, “Bad things happen to all of us, we all have upset feelings sometimes, and we all can figure out ways to cope with those feelings.”

Now, a pair of new national research studies and Washington data help confirm what Marshall and many others are seeing in hospitals across the Pacific Northwest. Use of medications or other poisons to attempt #suicide or #self-harm are rising among #youths as young as 9, and the largest increases are among those ages 10-12. The number of #kids in that age group who ingested some type of poisonous medication or other substance to attempt #suicide increased by 4.5 times from 2000 to 2020, according to one of the national studies, published in JAMA Pediatrics in March, compared to a 2.4-fold increase among older #adolescents. 

“It was not surprising to me at all,” said Marshall, who co-led the study and is a #psychiatrist and associate professor of #child and #adolescent psychiatry at Oregon Health & Science University. “And I don’t think it was surprising to any of my colleagues who work in children’s #mentalhealth, because it’s what we’re all seeing.” 

But the emerging data may serve as an eye-opener to families of young #children — and should spur #caregivers, #teachers and #healthcareprofessionals to be more vigilant about monitoring children’s moods and #behaviors, said Dr. Christopher Holstege, a medical toxicologist and professor of emergency medicine and #pediatrics at the University of Virginia. 

“These very young ages are pretty stunning to these #parents,” said Holstege, who led a separate study that aligns with the findings published in JAMA Pediatrics. #Parents are often more primed to keep medications out of reach of a toddler, or locked away from a moody #teenager. But “if you have a 10-year-old, #parents can’t even comprehend that age group would even be thinking that, that they would try to take their life.”

The data also offers an urgent warning to #caregivers, Marshall and Holstege said: Lock up all medications — prescriptions and over-the-counter drugs — and if you suspect your #child ingested pills, don’t hesitate to contact poison control.  

Keep kids safe

Lock up all medications, including prescription and over-the-counter drugs.

Sharp increase

The two new studies pulled data from the National Poison Data System, a huge repository that allows researchers to look for trends in who swallowed substances and when. Though they were on opposite coasts, Marshall and Holstege were witnessing the same phenomenon — and wanted to understand if what they were seeing in their hospitals was reflected on a national scale.

#Suicideattempts involving substances rose across the board in 9- to 18-year-olds, but the data suggests the #youth #mentalhealthcrisis is worsening, and skewing into increasingly younger age groups. It’s rare for #children and #teenagers to die by overdose: Of the more than 1.2 million ingestion cases Marshall and her colleagues studied over 20 years, 1,005 resulted in death. But almost 29% of cases had a moderate or major health effect on the #child or #teenager.

Lack of access to #mentalhealthservices may be partially to blame. #Child #psychiatrists’ case loads are topped out, ERs are overflowing with pediatric #patients, and children’s “inpatient units are full, always,” Marshall said. In Washington and elsewhere, securing a #mentalhealth evaluation or therapy appointment might come with a months long wait.

In general, #children are sensitive to what’s happening in their environment, and a confluence of events in recent memory — the #pandemic, the opioid crisis, political unrest, climate change — may make #children feel less secure. Ten- to 12-year-olds may be less likely than older peers to have a grasp on the consequences of their actions, Marshall said, and the combination of impulsivity, societal instability and easy access to over-the-counter medications may contribute to the rise in concerning #behaviors.

“They may not understand what death is, or what it is to die,” she said. “They get caught up in an emotion or in an experience and they do things without thinking them through very carefully.” 

#James Donaldson notes:

Welcome to the “next chapter” of my life… being a voice and an advocate for #mentalhealthawarenessandsuicideprevention, especially pertaining to our younger generation of students and student-athletes.

Getting men to speak up and reach out for help and assistance is one of my passions. Us men need to not suffer in silence or drown our sorrows in alcohol, hang out at bars and strip joints, or get involved with drug use.

Having gone through a recent bout of #depression and #suicidalthoughts myself, I realize now, that I can make a huge difference in the lives of so many by sharing my story, and by sharing various resources I come across as I work in this space.  #http://bit.ly/JamesMentalHealthArticle

Order your copy of James Donaldson's latest book,

Celebrating Your Gift of Life:

From The Verge of Suicide to a Life of Purpose and Joy

http://www.celebratingyourgiftoflife.com

#Mentalhealthresources from The #SeattleTimes

- #Mentalhealthresources in #KingCounty and #Washingtonstate
- Where to find diverse #mentalhealthresources in #Seattle
- #Mentalhealthresources for those struggling with life amid a #pandemic
- Here are the basic facts about #mentalhealth and treatment in #Washingtonstate

Washington data fits with the new national research. The Washington Poison Center, which has tracked poisonings tied to #suicides and #suicideattempts for years, witnessed a sharp increase in calls about #youths beginning in 2014, said Meghan King, public health education and communications specialist at the center. And while the number of cases dropped when #schools closed in spring 2020, they’ve since increased at a steeper rate than before the #pandemic.

In all of 2021, the center received nearly 2,800 reports of #self-harm and suspected #suicide among Washington #youths. Breaking it down by age group, the center saw calls jump 58% among 6- to 12-year-olds from 2019 to 2021. And calls went up 37% among the state’s 13- to 17-year-olds.

Because the center only captures cases that are phoned in, the data likely underestimates the true number of ingestions.

Staying safe

#Girls are at particular risk: In general, many more #girls than #boys attempt #suicide using nonlethal means, such as poisons, but over the recent three-year period, the number of calls the Washington center received about #girls increased by 48%. Calls about #boys increased just 3%. 

The #pandemic has been particularly stressful for #girls, who tend to use their social networks for support more than #boys during elementary and middle school, said Jim Mazza, a #psychologist and #school #psychology professor at the #UniversityofWashington. Bonding with friends at #school can help protect #kids against #mentalhealthconcerns — but socializing largely went away when #schools closed.

#Parents and #caregivers should look for warning signs of #depression or #suicidalthoughts, Mazza said, such as withdrawing from social activities, spending time alone in their bedroom or glued to their phone. They should also be prepared to ask their #children tough questions, he said, like whether they’ve thought about harming or killing themselves. 

Storing medications in a toolbox with a padlock is a simple way to keep kids safe, Marshall said. Families should monitor what their #kids are looking at on #socialmedia, she added, and ask them about what’s going on in their lives and in their friend groups. Finding ways to help them engage in social activities and limit screen time can also help, she said.

RELATED

How to talk to your #child about their #mentalhealth: Experts offer tips to #parents and #caregivers

And families should look out for signs of ingestion, such as vomiting, complaining of abdominal pain, acting apathetic or depressed, or avoiding conversation, said Holstege, from the University of Virginia. Getting timely care is “exceedingly important,” he said, and families should quickly call their local poison center for advice on next steps — or bring their child to an ER if they need urgent attention. 

“It’s hard for some #parents to, one, believe their #child would overdose and, two, it’s significant enough to seek help,” he said. “They want to try to take care of it themselves and may not think it’s a big deal because look fine right now. But then a day or two later they’re not looking fine. And that’s when we’re more limited in how we can help them.”

We’d like to hear from you.

The #MentalHealthProject team is listening. We’d like to know what questions you have about #mentalhealth and which stories you’d suggest we cover.

Get in touch with us at mentalhealth@seattletimes.com.

Hannah Furfaro: hfurfaro@seattletimes.com; on Twitter: @HannahFurfaro. Hannah Furfaro is a #mentalhealth reporter at The Seattle Times. She has a master's degree in science and health journalism from Columbia University, and wrote about neuroscience and psychiatry before joining The Times. She previously published stories in Science, The Wall Street Journal and The Atlantic, among other places.
https://standingabovethecrowd.com/2022/06/jamesdonaldson-on-mentalhealth-rising-number-of-suicideattempts-among-young-children-worries-nw-physicians-poison-centers/