Signs your #child might be more than moody

Writer: Ron J. Steingard,

What You'll Learn

- What are the symptoms of #depression in #teens?
- Why is it important to catch #depression early?
- What is the treatment for #depression in #teens?

- Quick Read
- Full Article
- Why early intervention is critical
- #Depression plus #anxiety
- Treatments for #depression

#Teens are often moody. That’s why it’s easy to miss signs that they’re actually depressed and need help. Symptoms of #depression in #teens include things like avoiding hanging out with friends and family and being sad or angry. Not doing well in #school, sleeping a lot and eating more or less than usual can also be signs.

If you notice that your #teen has been down a lot and lost interest in things they used to like doing, they may be depressed. The #teen may not even be aware they are depressed.

There are two main kinds of #depression. Major depressive disorder is the most common. That’s when a #kid has bad stretches of #depression for months. Dysthymia, the other kind, is milder, but it can go on for years. Since #depression causes low energy and problems concentrating, it can have a negative impact on #school and friendships. That, in turn, can cause low #self-esteem, which can make #depression worse. Feeling bad about yourself can also lead to #anxiety.

Early treatment is important to head off long-term effects of #depression. The most common treatment is #cognitivebehavioraltherapy (#CBT), which is aimed at changing the negative thinking the teen is caught in. It teaches #kids ways of noticing and changing upsetting emotions. Antidepressant medication can be added to therapy.  The combination often works better than either treatment separately.

Since #adolescents are often moody, it can be difficult to recognize when your son or daughter has become depressed, and might need help. The thing people tend to notice first is withdrawal, or when the #teenager stops doing things she usually likes to do. There might be other changes in her mood, including sadness or irritability. Or in her #behavior, including, appetite, energy level, sleep patterns and academic performance. If several of these symptoms are present, be vigilant about the possibility of #teen #depression.

This is especially important because by the time family members and other people around a #teenager note her lack of interest in most things, or what we call anhedonia, she’s usually been depressed for some time. #Depression is an internalizing disorder, i.e. one that disturbs a patient’s emotional life, rather than an externalizing one, which takes the form of disruptive or problematic #behavior. As such, it takes a while not only for others to recognize it but often for the #patient herself to realize that her thinking, and emotional responses, are disturbed.

Note that there are actually two kinds of #depression. In major depressive disorder—the most familiar form of #depression—the symptoms occur in what may be severe episodes that tend to last from seven to nine months. But there is also another form of #depression called #dysthymia, in which the symptoms are milder, but they last longer, even years. So while the experience of #dysthymia may be less debilitating for the #child at any given moment, the risk is that there is more accrued damage, more time in which the #child is kept out of the healthy development process.

#James Donaldson notes:Welcome to the “next chapter” of my life… being a voice and an advocate for #mentalhealthawarenessandsuicideprevention, especially pertaining to our younger generation of students and student-athletes.Getting men to speak up and reach out for help and assistance is one of my passions. Us men need to not suffer in silence or drown our sorrows in alcohol, hang out at bars and strip joints, or get involved with drug use.Having gone through a recent bout of #depression and #suicidalthoughts myself, I realize now, that I can make a huge difference in the lives of so many by sharing my story, and by sharing various resources I come across as I work in this space.  #http://bit.ly/JamesMentalHealthArticleOrder your copy of James Donaldson's latest book,#CelebratingYourGiftofLife:From The Verge of Suicide to a Life of Purpose and Joy

http://www.celebratingyourgiftoflife.com

Why early intervention is critical

When a #teenager is depressed, his suffering isn’t the only reason it’s important to get help. In addition to the disorder itself, there are add-on effects that may cause lifelong issues. With #depression symptoms comes include low energy and poor concentration, two factors that are likely to have a significant impact on social and academic functioning.

It’s easy to see the effects of poor academic functioning: falling behind in school undermines a child’s confidence and self-image, and can impact his future if it’s prolonged. But social learning is just as critical as academic learning in #adolescence. Deficits in social skills not only put depressed #teens behind their peers, but in themselves can compound their #depression.

#James Donaldson notes:Welcome to the “next chapter” of my life… being a voice and an advocate for #mentalhealthawarenessandsuicideprevention, especially pertaining to our younger generation of students and student-athletes.Getting men to speak up and reach out for help and assistance is one of my passions. Us men need to not suffer in silence or drown our sorrows in alcohol, hang out at bars and strip joints, or get involved with drug use.Having gone through a recent bout of #depression and #suicidalthoughts myself, I realize now, that I can make a huge difference in the lives of so many by sharing my story, and by sharing various resources I come across as I work in this space.  #http://bit.ly/JamesMentalHealthArticleOrder your copy of James Donaldson's latest book,#CelebratingYourGiftofLife:From The Verge of Suicide to a Life of Purpose and Joy

http://www.celebratingyourgiftoflife.com

#Depression plus #anxiety

It’s important to understand that a #teenager who is depressed may also develop #anxiety, and may need to be treated for two separate disorders. It may be that #depression leads to #anxiety—the negative state of mind of a depressed #teenager lends itself to uncertainty. If you’re not feeling good about yourself, or confident, or secure, or safe, #anxiety may find fertile ground. It may also be because the regions of the brain affected by #anxiety and #depression are close together, and mutually affected.

Two serious problems that are directly associated with #teenage #depression and #anxiety are suicidal thinking (or #behavior), and #substanceabuse. #Suicide is the third leading cause of death among #adolescents and young #adults aged 15 to 24, and we know that most #kids who commit #suicide have been suffering from a psychiatric illness. Especially at risk are #teenagers who hide their #depression and #anxiety from #parents and friends. That’s why it’s important to be alert to signs of these disorders—withdrawal, changes in school performance, eating habits, sleeping patterns, things they enjoy doing—even when #teenagers aren’t forthcoming about how they feel.

Similarly, the majority of #teenagers who develop #substanceabuse problems also have a #psychiatric disorder, including, most commonly, #anxiety or #depression, which is another important reason to get treatment in a timely way.

Treatments for #depression

Fortunately, early involvement of health care professionals can shorten the period of illness and decrease the likelihood of missing important life lessons.

The most common treatment a #mentalhealthprofessional is apt to use is some form of #cognitivebehavioraltherapy, and depending on how young the #child is, it may involve teaching the #parents as well. #Cognitivebehavioraltherapy is based on the idea that a person suffering from a #mooddisorder is trapped in a negative pattern of thought. Depressed kids tend to evaluate themselves negatively, interpret the actions of others in a negative way, and assume the darkest possible outcome of events. In #CBT, we teach sufferers to challenge those negative thoughts, to recognize the pattern and train themselves to think outside it. And in many cases we see real improvement.

If the #depression is moderate to severe, treatment may involve medications such as antidepressants. A combination of psychotherapy and medication usually works better than either alone.

This article was last reviewed or updated on June 17, 2022.

Ron J. Steingard, MD

Ron J. Steingard, MD, is a former associate medical director and senior pediatric psychopharmacologist at the #ChildMindInstitute. With … Read Bio
https://standingabovethecrowd.com/2022/08/jamesdonaldson-on-mentalhealth-what-are-the-symptoms-of-depression-in-teenagers/

Signs your #child might be more than moody

Writer: Ron J. Steingard,

What You'll Learn

- What are the symptoms of #depression in #teens?
- Why is it important to catch #depression early?
- What is the treatment for #depression in #teens?

- Quick Read
- Full Article
- Why early intervention is critical
- #Depression plus #anxiety
- Treatments for #depression

#Teens are often moody. That’s why it’s easy to miss signs that they’re actually depressed and need help. Symptoms of #depression in #teens include things like avoiding hanging out with friends and family and being sad or angry. Not doing well in #school, sleeping a lot and eating more or less than usual can also be signs.

If you notice that your #teen has been down a lot and lost interest in things they used to like doing, they may be depressed. The #teen may not even be aware they are depressed.

There are two main kinds of #depression. Major depressive disorder is the most common. That’s when a #kid has bad stretches of #depression for months. Dysthymia, the other kind, is milder, but it can go on for years. Since #depression causes low energy and problems concentrating, it can have a negative impact on #school and friendships. That, in turn, can cause low #self-esteem, which can make #depression worse. Feeling bad about yourself can also lead to #anxiety.

Early treatment is important to head off long-term effects of #depression. The most common treatment is #cognitivebehavioraltherapy (#CBT), which is aimed at changing the negative thinking the teen is caught in. It teaches #kids ways of noticing and changing upsetting emotions. Antidepressant medication can be added to therapy.  The combination often works better than either treatment separately.

Since #adolescents are often moody, it can be difficult to recognize when your son or daughter has become depressed, and might need help. The thing people tend to notice first is withdrawal, or when the #teenager stops doing things she usually likes to do. There might be other changes in her mood, including sadness or irritability. Or in her #behavior, including, appetite, energy level, sleep patterns and academic performance. If several of these symptoms are present, be vigilant about the possibility of #teen #depression.

This is especially important because by the time family members and other people around a #teenager note her lack of interest in most things, or what we call anhedonia, she’s usually been depressed for some time. #Depression is an internalizing disorder, i.e. one that disturbs a patient’s emotional life, rather than an externalizing one, which takes the form of disruptive or problematic #behavior. As such, it takes a while not only for others to recognize it but often for the #patient herself to realize that her thinking, and emotional responses, are disturbed.

Note that there are actually two kinds of #depression. In major depressive disorder—the most familiar form of #depression—the symptoms occur in what may be severe episodes that tend to last from seven to nine months. But there is also another form of #depression called #dysthymia, in which the symptoms are milder, but they last longer, even years. So while the experience of #dysthymia may be less debilitating for the #child at any given moment, the risk is that there is more accrued damage, more time in which the #child is kept out of the healthy development process.

#James Donaldson notes:Welcome to the “next chapter” of my life… being a voice and an advocate for #mentalhealthawarenessandsuicideprevention, especially pertaining to our younger generation of students and student-athletes.Getting men to speak up and reach out for help and assistance is one of my passions. Us men need to not suffer in silence or drown our sorrows in alcohol, hang out at bars and strip joints, or get involved with drug use.Having gone through a recent bout of #depression and #suicidalthoughts myself, I realize now, that I can make a huge difference in the lives of so many by sharing my story, and by sharing various resources I come across as I work in this space.  #http://bit.ly/JamesMentalHealthArticleOrder your copy of James Donaldson's latest book,#CelebratingYourGiftofLife:From The Verge of Suicide to a Life of Purpose and Joy

http://www.celebratingyourgiftoflife.com

Why early intervention is critical

When a #teenager is depressed, his suffering isn’t the only reason it’s important to get help. In addition to the disorder itself, there are add-on effects that may cause lifelong issues. With #depression symptoms comes include low energy and poor concentration, two factors that are likely to have a significant impact on social and academic functioning.

It’s easy to see the effects of poor academic functioning: falling behind in school undermines a child’s confidence and self-image, and can impact his future if it’s prolonged. But social learning is just as critical as academic learning in #adolescence. Deficits in social skills not only put depressed #teens behind their peers, but in themselves can compound their #depression.

#James Donaldson notes:Welcome to the “next chapter” of my life… being a voice and an advocate for #mentalhealthawarenessandsuicideprevention, especially pertaining to our younger generation of students and student-athletes.Getting men to speak up and reach out for help and assistance is one of my passions. Us men need to not suffer in silence or drown our sorrows in alcohol, hang out at bars and strip joints, or get involved with drug use.Having gone through a recent bout of #depression and #suicidalthoughts myself, I realize now, that I can make a huge difference in the lives of so many by sharing my story, and by sharing various resources I come across as I work in this space.  #http://bit.ly/JamesMentalHealthArticleOrder your copy of James Donaldson's latest book,#CelebratingYourGiftofLife:From The Verge of Suicide to a Life of Purpose and Joy

http://www.celebratingyourgiftoflife.com

#Depression plus #anxiety

It’s important to understand that a #teenager who is depressed may also develop #anxiety, and may need to be treated for two separate disorders. It may be that #depression leads to #anxiety—the negative state of mind of a depressed #teenager lends itself to uncertainty. If you’re not feeling good about yourself, or confident, or secure, or safe, #anxiety may find fertile ground. It may also be because the regions of the brain affected by #anxiety and #depression are close together, and mutually affected.

Two serious problems that are directly associated with #teenage #depression and #anxiety are suicidal thinking (or #behavior), and #substanceabuse. #Suicide is the third leading cause of death among #adolescents and young #adults aged 15 to 24, and we know that most #kids who commit #suicide have been suffering from a psychiatric illness. Especially at risk are #teenagers who hide their #depression and #anxiety from #parents and friends. That’s why it’s important to be alert to signs of these disorders—withdrawal, changes in school performance, eating habits, sleeping patterns, things they enjoy doing—even when #teenagers aren’t forthcoming about how they feel.

Similarly, the majority of #teenagers who develop #substanceabuse problems also have a #psychiatric disorder, including, most commonly, #anxiety or #depression, which is another important reason to get treatment in a timely way.

Treatments for #depression

Fortunately, early involvement of health care professionals can shorten the period of illness and decrease the likelihood of missing important life lessons.

The most common treatment a #mentalhealthprofessional is apt to use is some form of #cognitivebehavioraltherapy, and depending on how young the #child is, it may involve teaching the #parents as well. #Cognitivebehavioraltherapy is based on the idea that a person suffering from a #mooddisorder is trapped in a negative pattern of thought. Depressed kids tend to evaluate themselves negatively, interpret the actions of others in a negative way, and assume the darkest possible outcome of events. In #CBT, we teach sufferers to challenge those negative thoughts, to recognize the pattern and train themselves to think outside it. And in many cases we see real improvement.

If the #depression is moderate to severe, treatment may involve medications such as antidepressants. A combination of psychotherapy and medication usually works better than either alone.

This article was last reviewed or updated on June 17, 2022.

Ron J. Steingard, MD

Ron J. Steingard, MD, is a former associate medical director and senior pediatric psychopharmacologist at the #ChildMindInstitute. With … Read Bio
https://standingabovethecrowd.com/?p=9897

#Bipolardisorder can involve symptoms of #depression, which sometimes can lead to thoughts of #suicide. Support is available.

Not everyone who lives with bipolar disorder experiences the condition in the same way. But for those who experience intense depressive episodes, thinking about the end of life can be recurrent.

#Bipolardisorder is a manageable condition, and treatment is available and effective. What you feel is valid, but it doesn’t have to be permanent. You’re not alone.

A word of caution

#Suicide is a difficult topic, and it’s natural to experience intense emotions when reading about it.

While it is possible for someone with #bipolardisorder to think about #suicide, this isn’t always the case.

The information in this article comes from reputable sources and has been reviewed by a medical expert. Still, no expert information can replace your personal experience and how you navigate your #mentalhealthcondition.

If you’ve been thinking about #suicide or suspect someone you love has, you’re not alone. Consider reaching out for support:

- Visit Psych Central’s #SuicidePrevention Resources
- Call a crisis hotline, such as the #NationalSuicidePreventionLifeline at 800-273-8255.
- Text HOME to the Crisis Text Line at 741741.
- Call or text the Postpartum Support International Help Line at 800-944-4773 (#1 Español, #2 English)
- Contat the #TrevorProject if you’re LGBTQIA+ and under 25 years old. Call 866-488-7386, text START to 678678, or chat online 24-7.
- Contact the #VeteransCrisisLine. Call 800-273-8255, text 838255, or chat online 24-7.
- Use the Befrienders Worldwide database to find a helpline in your country.
- Contact the DeafLEAD Crisis Line. Call 321-800-DEAF (3323) or text HAND at 839863.

PSYCH CENTRAL RESOURCES

Get a deeper understanding of trauma and #PTSD

Sign up for our 5-day series and learn about the science behind trauma from a licensed #psychologist.

Are people with #bipolardisorder more likely to think of #suicide?

#Bipolardisorder has the highest rate of #suicide among all #mentalhealthconditions. This rate is about 10 to 30 times Trusted Source higher in people living with #bipolardisorder than in the general population.

As many as 60%Trusted Source of people with the condition have attempted to end their lives at least once.

Still, #bipolardisorder symptoms manifest differently from person to person, and not everyone with the condition will think of or attempt #suicide.

“Self-harm #behavior is highest in individuals who have the personality trait of impulsivity,” explains Stephanie Wijkstrom, a professional #mentalhealthcounselor in Pittsburg.

The more impulsive someone with the condition is, the more likely they may be to engage in thoughts of #suicide and self-harming #behaviors, she adds.

Impulsivity is typically associated with episodes of mania. However, it can also manifest during phases of #depression. Thoughts of #suicide are more common during these depressive episodes.

Because of this, researchTrusted Source suggests thoughts of #suicide are more recurrent for people living with #bipolar II disorder, which involves longer episodes of #depression.

It’s important to keep in mind that impulsivity alone isn’t a predicting factor for thoughts or attempts of #suicide.

In a recent study, researchers found that impulsivity wasn’t the main factor in #suicidalthoughts in people with #bipolardisorder. Still, it could play a role when other personality traits, such as high empathy, and substance use disorder were also present.

#Bipolar I disorder vs. #bipolar II disorder

In general, #bipolardisorder always involves intense mood episodes. These could be between #depression and mania, or between #depression and hypomania.

#Bipolardisorder is diagnosed when you go through at least 1 episode of mania that lasts at least 7 days. This episode may present with symptoms of psychosis and could require hospitalization. Sometimes, you won’t experience major episodes of #depression.

Bipolar II disorder, on the other hand, typically involves changes in mood that shifts from #depression to hypomania. You will also experience symptoms of #depression that last 2 weeks or longer.

#Suicide as a symptom in #bipolardisorder

Thoughts of #suicide and self-harming #behaviors can be symptoms of #bipolardisorder, although not everyone with the condition experiences them.

Many factors may contribute to someone experiencing #suicideideation or the desire to #self-harm while living with #bipolardisorder.

Systematic review data suggests these #behaviors in #bipolardisorder may be influenced by:

- family history of #suicide
- early onset of #bipolardisorder
- progressive severity of mood episodes
- the extent of depressive symptoms
- rapid changes in mood
- coexisting #mentalhealthdisorders
- #substanceusedisorder

The #suicide safety plan

If you think often about #suicide during an episode of #depression, consider creating a safety plan that you could use during those times.

A safety plan often involves:

- a list of situations, moods, #behaviors, and images that may help you recognize when you may be more likely to engage in these thoughts
- coping strategies the help prevent self-harm
- contact information for family and friends who are ready to provide support
- names and numbers of #mentalhealthprofessionals, care networks, and emergency assistance
- a safe environment to go where #self-harm options are limited

How to help someone with #bipolardisorder who thinks of #suicide

Dr. Benjamin Gibson, a pharmacist and functional medicine specialist in San Antonio, says, “We all feel bad on any given day when reality doesn’t meet expectations.”

When you’re supporting someone who lives with #bipolardisorder, it’s important to remember that “bad days” for them may mean severe adverse thoughts and #self-harm #behaviors.

Also, #bipolardisorder may require professional support. If you’re not trained to treat #bipolardisorder, there’s only so much you can do.

Gibson and Wijkstrom say you can support someone during these times by:

Being a mediator

When someone is experiencing #suicideideation, they may know that help is needed, but they may not reach out.

You may want to learn more about #bipolardisorder. This can help you recognize some of the symptoms.

If someone you love is going through a mood episode, you can help them get the support they need. For example, you could make the calls or drive them to their #healthprofessional or support group.

#James Donaldson notes:Welcome to the “next chapter” of my life… being a voice and an advocate for #mentalhealthawarenessandsuicideprevention, especially pertaining to our younger generation of students and student-athletes.Getting men to speak up and reach out for help and assistance is one of my passions. Us men need to not suffer in silence or drown our sorrows in alcohol, hang out at bars and strip joints, or get involved with drug use.Having gone through a recent bout of #depression and #suicidalthoughts myself, I realize now, that I can make a huge difference in the lives of so many by sharing my story, and by sharing various resources I come across as I work in this space.  #http://bit.ly/JamesMentalHealthArticleOrder your copy of James Donaldson's latest book,#CelebratingYourGiftofLife:From The Verge of Suicide to a Life of Purpose and Joy

http://www.celebratingyourgiftoflife.com

Reminding them this is a symptom, not reality

Wijkstrom says that a common statement among people who’ve attempted #suicide is that they believe the world will be better off without them.

You might want to validate how they feel and suggest that these thoughts are influenced by the condition and may not be how others feel. This is a feeling coming from a symptom, not reality.

Consider talking about how symptoms of #bipolardisorder can be managed, and when this happens, they might feel differently. It may be important not to act on a temporary feeling.

Helping provide the ‘safe space’

If you know someone considering #suicide, try to provide immediate support. This means being available in person on short notice.

Once you’re with them, you can scan the room and remove any possible #self-harm tools. You can also practice ways to provide comfort in a moment of intense emotions. This can help you be there for them while waiting for emergency care services if needed.

If you find staying in the same place challenging, consider having a backup plan so that you can take them to a location where they feel safe and comforted.

Let’s recap

For some people, living with #bipolardisorder may mean thinking about #self-harm and #suicide, particularly during episodes of #depression.

You might feel confused and afraid when these thoughts appear. This is #depression talking to you. But #depression and #bipolardisorder can be managed.

Treatment for #bipolardisorder can help with these feelings. Things can improve and support is available.
https://standingabovethecrowd.com/2022/08/jamesdonaldson-on-mentalhealth-do-people-with-bipolardisorder-think-more-often-about-suicide/

#Bipolardisorder can involve symptoms of #depression, which sometimes can lead to thoughts of #suicide. Support is available.

Not everyone who lives with bipolar disorder experiences the condition in the same way. But for those who experience intense depressive episodes, thinking about the end of life can be recurrent.

#Bipolardisorder is a manageable condition, and treatment is available and effective. What you feel is valid, but it doesn’t have to be permanent. You’re not alone.

A word of caution

#Suicide is a difficult topic, and it’s natural to experience intense emotions when reading about it.

While it is possible for someone with #bipolardisorder to think about #suicide, this isn’t always the case.

The information in this article comes from reputable sources and has been reviewed by a medical expert. Still, no expert information can replace your personal experience and how you navigate your #mentalhealthcondition.

If you’ve been thinking about #suicide or suspect someone you love has, you’re not alone. Consider reaching out for support:

- Visit Psych Central’s #SuicidePrevention Resources
- Call a crisis hotline, such as the #NationalSuicidePreventionLifeline at 800-273-8255.
- Text HOME to the Crisis Text Line at 741741.
- Call or text the Postpartum Support International Help Line at 800-944-4773 (#1 Español, #2 English)
- Contat the #TrevorProject if you’re LGBTQIA+ and under 25 years old. Call 866-488-7386, text START to 678678, or chat online 24-7.
- Contact the #VeteransCrisisLine. Call 800-273-8255, text 838255, or chat online 24-7.
- Use the Befrienders Worldwide database to find a helpline in your country.
- Contact the DeafLEAD Crisis Line. Call 321-800-DEAF (3323) or text HAND at 839863.

PSYCH CENTRAL RESOURCES

Get a deeper understanding of trauma and #PTSD

Sign up for our 5-day series and learn about the science behind trauma from a licensed #psychologist.

Are people with #bipolardisorder more likely to think of #suicide?

#Bipolardisorder has the highest rate of #suicide among all #mentalhealthconditions. This rate is about 10 to 30 times Trusted Source higher in people living with #bipolardisorder than in the general population.

As many as 60%Trusted Source of people with the condition have attempted to end their lives at least once.

Still, #bipolardisorder symptoms manifest differently from person to person, and not everyone with the condition will think of or attempt #suicide.

“Self-harm #behavior is highest in individuals who have the personality trait of impulsivity,” explains Stephanie Wijkstrom, a professional #mentalhealthcounselor in Pittsburg.

The more impulsive someone with the condition is, the more likely they may be to engage in thoughts of #suicide and self-harming #behaviors, she adds.

Impulsivity is typically associated with episodes of mania. However, it can also manifest during phases of #depression. Thoughts of #suicide are more common during these depressive episodes.

Because of this, researchTrusted Source suggests thoughts of #suicide are more recurrent for people living with #bipolar II disorder, which involves longer episodes of #depression.

It’s important to keep in mind that impulsivity alone isn’t a predicting factor for thoughts or attempts of #suicide.

In a recent study, researchers found that impulsivity wasn’t the main factor in #suicidalthoughts in people with #bipolardisorder. Still, it could play a role when other personality traits, such as high empathy, and substance use disorder were also present.

#Bipolar I disorder vs. #bipolar II disorder

In general, #bipolardisorder always involves intense mood episodes. These could be between #depression and mania, or between #depression and hypomania.

#Bipolardisorder is diagnosed when you go through at least 1 episode of mania that lasts at least 7 days. This episode may present with symptoms of psychosis and could require hospitalization. Sometimes, you won’t experience major episodes of #depression.

Bipolar II disorder, on the other hand, typically involves changes in mood that shifts from #depression to hypomania. You will also experience symptoms of #depression that last 2 weeks or longer.

#Suicide as a symptom in #bipolardisorder

Thoughts of #suicide and self-harming #behaviors can be symptoms of #bipolardisorder, although not everyone with the condition experiences them.

Many factors may contribute to someone experiencing #suicideideation or the desire to #self-harm while living with #bipolardisorder.

Systematic review data suggests these #behaviors in #bipolardisorder may be influenced by:

- family history of #suicide
- early onset of #bipolardisorder
- progressive severity of mood episodes
- the extent of depressive symptoms
- rapid changes in mood
- coexisting #mentalhealthdisorders
- #substanceusedisorder

The #suicide safety plan

If you think often about #suicide during an episode of #depression, consider creating a safety plan that you could use during those times.

A safety plan often involves:

- a list of situations, moods, #behaviors, and images that may help you recognize when you may be more likely to engage in these thoughts
- coping strategies the help prevent self-harm
- contact information for family and friends who are ready to provide support
- names and numbers of #mentalhealthprofessionals, care networks, and emergency assistance
- a safe environment to go where #self-harm options are limited

How to help someone with #bipolardisorder who thinks of #suicide

Dr. Benjamin Gibson, a pharmacist and functional medicine specialist in San Antonio, says, “We all feel bad on any given day when reality doesn’t meet expectations.”

When you’re supporting someone who lives with #bipolardisorder, it’s important to remember that “bad days” for them may mean severe adverse thoughts and #self-harm #behaviors.

Also, #bipolardisorder may require professional support. If you’re not trained to treat #bipolardisorder, there’s only so much you can do.

Gibson and Wijkstrom say you can support someone during these times by:

Being a mediator

When someone is experiencing #suicideideation, they may know that help is needed, but they may not reach out.

You may want to learn more about #bipolardisorder. This can help you recognize some of the symptoms.

If someone you love is going through a mood episode, you can help them get the support they need. For example, you could make the calls or drive them to their #healthprofessional or support group.

#James Donaldson notes:Welcome to the “next chapter” of my life… being a voice and an advocate for #mentalhealthawarenessandsuicideprevention, especially pertaining to our younger generation of students and student-athletes.Getting men to speak up and reach out for help and assistance is one of my passions. Us men need to not suffer in silence or drown our sorrows in alcohol, hang out at bars and strip joints, or get involved with drug use.Having gone through a recent bout of #depression and #suicidalthoughts myself, I realize now, that I can make a huge difference in the lives of so many by sharing my story, and by sharing various resources I come across as I work in this space.  #http://bit.ly/JamesMentalHealthArticleOrder your copy of James Donaldson's latest book,#CelebratingYourGiftofLife:From The Verge of Suicide to a Life of Purpose and Joy

http://www.celebratingyourgiftoflife.com

Reminding them this is a symptom, not reality

Wijkstrom says that a common statement among people who’ve attempted #suicide is that they believe the world will be better off without them.

You might want to validate how they feel and suggest that these thoughts are influenced by the condition and may not be how others feel. This is a feeling coming from a symptom, not reality.

Consider talking about how symptoms of #bipolardisorder can be managed, and when this happens, they might feel differently. It may be important not to act on a temporary feeling.

Helping provide the ‘safe space’

If you know someone considering #suicide, try to provide immediate support. This means being available in person on short notice.

Once you’re with them, you can scan the room and remove any possible #self-harm tools. You can also practice ways to provide comfort in a moment of intense emotions. This can help you be there for them while waiting for emergency care services if needed.

If you find staying in the same place challenging, consider having a backup plan so that you can take them to a location where they feel safe and comforted.

Let’s recap

For some people, living with #bipolardisorder may mean thinking about #self-harm and #suicide, particularly during episodes of #depression.

You might feel confused and afraid when these thoughts appear. This is #depression talking to you. But #depression and #bipolardisorder can be managed.

Treatment for #bipolardisorder can help with these feelings. Things can improve and support is available.
https://standingabovethecrowd.com/?p=9886

By John Hackley - jhackley@timesgazette.com

Since its inception in February of 2020, the Highland County #SuicidePrevention Coalition has been working to stem #suicideattempts and deaths throughout the county.

The organization, comprised of local #healthprofessionals, social service professionals and community advocates, has a vision of leading the county in providing and promoting opportunities for all residents to become active in reducing suicides.

“They are really doing some great things,” said Paint Valley #Alcohol, #Drug Addiction and #MentalHealth Board (ADAMH) Associate Director Melanie Swisher, who is a member of the coalition. “I think we have good momentum right now, and I think the more the community knows about it, the more it will impact the community.”

In January, the group held a Highland County #SuicidePrevention Awareness Day and provided community training to help people know how to identify warning signs of #suicide and what to do to help someone who may be vulnerable.

The coalition, in partnership with the Highland County Health Department, has also provided resources to #schools in the county, and #counselors and #teachers were equipped with information about what to do if a #suicide happens in the #schools.

The Paint Valley ADAMH Board recently funded a program to provide the coalition with loss care packages for families of #suicide victims. Swisher said this is important as a “post-vention” measure because those who lose a loved one to #suicide are at a higher risk of #suicide themselves.

Wellness bags have also been provided to emergency rooms by the coalition to supply resources to people who come with #mentalhealthconcerns.

“They had this amazing outreach that they did at the fair for farmers that was really awesome,” said Swisher. The event was made possible by a #stigma reduction grant to Highland County Community Action through the Ohio Department of #MentalHealth.

“It was a breakfast and round-table called ‘Harvesting Healthy Minds’ that provided discussion and resources around #mentalhealth and #suicideawareness,” said Highland County Community Action Deputy Director Tara Campbell, who chairs the coalition.

#James Donaldson notes:Welcome to the “next chapter” of my life… being a voice and an advocate for #mentalhealthawarenessandsuicideprevention, especially pertaining to our younger generation of students and student-athletes.Getting men to speak up and reach out for help and assistance is one of my passions. Us men need to not suffer in silence or drown our sorrows in alcohol, hang out at bars and strip joints, or get involved with drug use.Having gone through a recent bout of #depression and #suicidalthoughts myself, I realize now, that I can make a huge difference in the lives of so many by sharing my story, and by sharing various resources I come across as I work in this space.  #http://bit.ly/JamesMentalHealthArticleOrder your copy of James Donaldson's latest book,#CelebratingYourGiftofLife:From The Verge of Suicide to a Life of Purpose and Joy

http://www.celebratingyourgiftoflife.com

Campbell said it is important to understand the unique aspects of #suicideprevention in a rural community.

“A lot of farmers have a job where they work alone a lot, and they don’t have a job where they go in and there are people at work to greet them and to identify if they’ve been acting differently lately or not talking as much,” she said. “Obviously, with a lot farmers, there’s a lot of pride there, and you’re a hard worker and you learn to do a lot of things on your own as a farmer, so I think it’s hard for them to reach out and ask for help.”

On average, a million people die from #suicide annually around the world. In Ohio, there were 1,838 deaths by #suicide in 2020. There were seven deaths by #suicide in Highland County in 2021, and the 10-year high in the county was 11 in 2016.

“Untreated #depression is probably the biggest cause of suicides,” said Swisher. “That’s why we really want to let the community know it’s OK to reach out and get help, and we want to try to fight that #stigma against getting help for #mentalillness. We believe that if people would feel comfortable reaching out and getting help that would reduce the #suicide numbers.”

Campbell encouraged those interested in becoming part of the coalition to visit www.facebook.com/HighlandCoSPC.

The #NationalSuicideHotline can be reached at 800-273-8255 or locally at 937-393-9904. Additionally, help is available by texting ‘4HOPE’ to 741-741.
https://standingabovethecrowd.com/2022/08/jamesdonaldson-on-mentalhealth-fighting-stigma-associated-with-mentalillness/

By John Hackley - jhackley@timesgazette.com

Since its inception in February of 2020, the Highland County #SuicidePrevention Coalition has been working to stem #suicideattempts and deaths throughout the county.

The organization, comprised of local #healthprofessionals, social service professionals and community advocates, has a vision of leading the county in providing and promoting opportunities for all residents to become active in reducing suicides.

“They are really doing some great things,” said Paint Valley #Alcohol, #Drug Addiction and #MentalHealth Board (ADAMH) Associate Director Melanie Swisher, who is a member of the coalition. “I think we have good momentum right now, and I think the more the community knows about it, the more it will impact the community.”

In January, the group held a Highland County #SuicidePrevention Awareness Day and provided community training to help people know how to identify warning signs of #suicide and what to do to help someone who may be vulnerable.

The coalition, in partnership with the Highland County Health Department, has also provided resources to #schools in the county, and #counselors and #teachers were equipped with information about what to do if a #suicide happens in the #schools.

The Paint Valley ADAMH Board recently funded a program to provide the coalition with loss care packages for families of #suicide victims. Swisher said this is important as a “post-vention” measure because those who lose a loved one to #suicide are at a higher risk of #suicide themselves.

Wellness bags have also been provided to emergency rooms by the coalition to supply resources to people who come with #mentalhealthconcerns.

“They had this amazing outreach that they did at the fair for farmers that was really awesome,” said Swisher. The event was made possible by a #stigma reduction grant to Highland County Community Action through the Ohio Department of #MentalHealth.

“It was a breakfast and round-table called ‘Harvesting Healthy Minds’ that provided discussion and resources around #mentalhealth and #suicideawareness,” said Highland County Community Action Deputy Director Tara Campbell, who chairs the coalition.

#James Donaldson notes:Welcome to the “next chapter” of my life… being a voice and an advocate for #mentalhealthawarenessandsuicideprevention, especially pertaining to our younger generation of students and student-athletes.Getting men to speak up and reach out for help and assistance is one of my passions. Us men need to not suffer in silence or drown our sorrows in alcohol, hang out at bars and strip joints, or get involved with drug use.Having gone through a recent bout of #depression and #suicidalthoughts myself, I realize now, that I can make a huge difference in the lives of so many by sharing my story, and by sharing various resources I come across as I work in this space.  #http://bit.ly/JamesMentalHealthArticleOrder your copy of James Donaldson's latest book,#CelebratingYourGiftofLife:From The Verge of Suicide to a Life of Purpose and Joy

http://www.celebratingyourgiftoflife.com

Campbell said it is important to understand the unique aspects of #suicideprevention in a rural community.

“A lot of farmers have a job where they work alone a lot, and they don’t have a job where they go in and there are people at work to greet them and to identify if they’ve been acting differently lately or not talking as much,” she said. “Obviously, with a lot farmers, there’s a lot of pride there, and you’re a hard worker and you learn to do a lot of things on your own as a farmer, so I think it’s hard for them to reach out and ask for help.”

On average, a million people die from #suicide annually around the world. In Ohio, there were 1,838 deaths by #suicide in 2020. There were seven deaths by #suicide in Highland County in 2021, and the 10-year high in the county was 11 in 2016.

“Untreated #depression is probably the biggest cause of suicides,” said Swisher. “That’s why we really want to let the community know it’s OK to reach out and get help, and we want to try to fight that #stigma against getting help for #mentalillness. We believe that if people would feel comfortable reaching out and getting help that would reduce the #suicide numbers.”

Campbell encouraged those interested in becoming part of the coalition to visit www.facebook.com/HighlandCoSPC.

The #NationalSuicideHotline can be reached at 800-273-8255 or locally at 937-393-9904. Additionally, help is available by texting ‘4HOPE’ to 741-741.
https://standingabovethecrowd.com/?p=9879

Byrightsidetoday

The algorithm for the Chinese-owned #TikTok app makes it easier for #teens to go viral and gain internet fame, especially with sexualized videos. But the downside of posting racy videos to #socialmedia is the toll taken on teens’ #mentalhealth, according to #mentalhealthprofessionals.

To the dismay of many, the Chinese-owned #socialmedia app #TikTok has become the preferred platform amongst #teens today.

Three #girls watching #TikTok videos

ByteDance CEO Zhang Yiming, TikTok’s owner

But unlike other #socialmedia platforms — such as #Facebook, #Instagram, #YouTube, and #Twitter — going viral on #TikTok and becoming “#TikTok famous” is much easier and quicker, according to a report by the Wall Street Journal.

#TikTok weighs whether viewers show strong interest in a particular type of content — measured by whether they finish watching videos — the company says. The app’s recommendation engine then chooses videos to send to viewers, regardless of the creator’s follower count or past video virality.

Given that #TikTok users appear to take more of an interest in sexual or risqué content, #teens have realized that the more sexual their videos are, the more likely they are to get likes or go viral, #mentalhealthprofessionals say.

“Many of them have figured out that the formula for that is producing more sexual content,” said Carter Barnhart, co-founder of Charlie Health, a virtual #mentalhealthcareprovider.

#James Donaldson notes:Welcome to the “next chapter” of my life… being a voice and an advocate for #mentalhealthawarenessandsuicideprevention, especially pertaining to our younger generation of students and student-athletes.Getting men to speak up and reach out for help and assistance is one of my passions. Us men need to not suffer in silence or drown our sorrows in alcohol, hang out at bars and strip joints, or get involved with drug use.Having gone through a recent bout of #depression and #suicidalthoughts myself, I realize now, that I can make a huge difference in the lives of so many by sharing my story, and by sharing various resources I come across as I work in this space.  #http://bit.ly/JamesMentalHealthArticleOrder your copy of James Donaldson's latest book,#CelebratingYourGiftofLife:From The Verge of Suicide to a Life of Purpose and Joy

http://www.celebratingyourgiftoflife.com

Barnhart added that a growing number of #teens she treats report their #self-esteem is dependent on how many likes they get on #TikTok.

Jula Anderson, for example, joined #TikTok when she was 16. Her first video featuring her family’s home renovations only got five likes. But when she saw that other users were posting more suggestive content, she tried it, too.

“I wanted to get famous on #TikTok, and I learned that if you post stuff showing your body, people will start liking it,” Anderson, now an 18-year-old high #school #student, told the Wall Street Journal.

A few months later, the teen’s wish came true, as a video of her wearing a tight-fitting tank top while lip-syncing to “Sunday Best” by Surfaces went viral, the newspaper reports.

#TikTok’s algorithm had pushed the video to viewers’ “For You” pages, which resulted in more than one million people viewing the content, and nearly 500,000 people liking it.

Anderson’s #TikTok following then went from a few hundred users to more than 200,000. The comment section of the teen’s video was then inundated with #boys and #men saying how hot she looked. Inspired by the success, Anderson made her videos more risqué.

“I’d wear clothes that I wouldn’t wear to #school but that I felt good in,” she said. “I didn’t view them as that sexual, but other people did.”

The #teen then found herself constantly checking her #TikTok likes, saying, “It was my whole world.”

When Anderson’s #parents later discovered their #teenage daughter’s suggestive video content on #TikTok, they confronted her about it, to which Anderson said, “Mom, that’s what everyone is doing,” according to the teen’s mother, Shauna.

The teen’s mother, in part, blamed the #isolation stemming from the Chinese #coronavirus, which she says intensified her daughter’s need to find connection with others.

“She thought this was a way to be liked and have friends,” Shauna said.

#Mentalhealthprofessionals say they are concerned about how #teen #girls will be affected by posting sexualized content on #TikTok, and that young #girls are oftentimes anxious and overwhelmed by the attention they get after posting suggestive videos.

“For a young #girl who’s developing her identity, to be swept up into a sexual world like that is hugely destructive,” said Paul Sunseri, a #psychologist and director of the New Horizons Child and Family Institute in California.

Last year, Anderson began receiving treatment at the New Horizons Child and Family Institute for #anxiety and #depression.

“When #teen #girls are rewarded for their sexuality, they come to believe that their value is in how they look,” Sunseri said.

Sunseri added that roughly a quarter of the #female #patients at his clinic have produced sexualized content on #TikTok.
https://standingabovethecrowd.com/?p=9877

Discomfort cannot be excuse to avoid talking about #mentalillness, #suicide

ABIGAIL SALOIS

MY OLDER SISTER Liza died on October 25, 2020, when all her struggles came to a head; no single factor was to blame. She did not treat or really acknowledge her #mentalillness. She misused #drugs and #alcohol. She and her wife had divorced a few years earlier, and there were rifts between her and some relatives, including our brother. Her finances and housing were unstable after a failed real estate investment in Tampa, Florida. The culmination of these circumstances made her a live grenade with the pin pulled.

When she died, friends said, “You must be in shock,” but I wasn’t. The last few years, I dreaded the day that Liza would kill herself, though I was powerless to stop it from coming. The turmoil that defined 2020 whirled Hurricane Liza bigger and stronger, until she was lethally out of control.

In 2017, Liza tried to take her life and was psychiatrically hospitalized. Her hospitalization was awful, and seemed more harmful than beneficial. She was not allowed to have her phone, so I had to call the hospital staff to retrieve Liza to take my call. It seemed overly restrictive and demeaning; I didn’t think Liza was that sick. I told her unequivocally that I needed her here and that it would be a disservice to deprive my young #children of their fierce, one-of-a-kind Auntie Liza. “C’mon, you are the only one that I actually like!” I said.  That coaxed a laugh. “I know, I know. I love you too,” she responded, but she didn’t promise me that she would stay. I didn’t realize that asking her to stick around, in enormous pain, so that she could see my #kids every few months was too much to ask.

The hospital seemed focused on avoiding costly litigation by physically keeping Liza from harming herself and then releasing her as soon as possible. Once she convinced hospital staff that she was well enough, her discharge plan included a therapeutic day program, which I knew she would never attend, and more medications, which I knew she would not take. My nagging phone calls to “check in” and ask if she went to the program yet made no difference. With her #mentalillness untreated, I picked nervously at the skin around my fingernails, and I waited for the other shoe to crash down. Mom and I visited Liza during the week after she came home from the hospital. We milled around in the open space between Liza’s newly renovated kitchen and the living area. She and her wife moved to a condo in a high-rise building in Guttenberg, New Jersey, sometime after Liza sold her longtime home in the Forest Hills neighborhood of Queens.

Their marriage was deteriorating. Liza’s mother-in-law had been visiting from Moscow for over six months. She spoke only Russian, was overtly homophobic, and for her benefit, everyone had been pretending Liza and her wife were roommates. A few years earlier, I had given them an image on canvas of them smiling in a dancing embrace at our wedding. I saw it hanging in the hallway and wondered what the mother-in-law thought about it. Liza’s wife was at work during the afternoon of our visit and her mother-in-law wasn’t there either.

Everything – from the heirloom furniture that belonged to Liza’s mother (Liza and I have the same father, but different mothers), to the artwork on the walls – was closer together here. The 200-year-old baby grand piano from my #childhood home in Connecticut stood in the living room. Mom sold the house following Dad’s 2015 death, and shipped the piano to New Jersey, though she was concerned there wouldn’t be space for it. Liza said that she was teaching herself to play with my old piano lesson books that were still stored in the bench, but the piano served as a stand for potted plants and framed photos for the time being. It had served the same purpose in our house.

We all hoped our chatter about kitchen renovations and long-forgotten piano instruction would cover up the real reason we were together that afternoon. Though #mentalhealthissues were becoming less taboo, we three #children of the ’50s, ’70s, and ’80s were not terribly comfortable discussing #suicide. I planned to let Liza take the lead on whether she wanted to talk about what happened. She’d been through a lot and I didn’t want to push. I was also avoiding the topic of #suicide, just like everyone else does.

Today, I know that not asking a depressed person about #suicide is just as short-sighted as not talking to #teenagers about sex. It has been a cruel education.

Whether it was due to shame or true denial, Liza did not characterize the overdose as a failed #suicide that day, but she didn’t insist that it was accidental either. She vaguely mentioned prescription drugs and that she had been drinking too much vodka lately, but I struggled to follow the conversation because she was talking so much and so quickly, and jumping around from topic to topic.

Looking at my sister that day, I saw distress in her black hair’s grey roots and her tired clothing. She was wearing a black hooded sweatshirt and looked terribly bedraggled. I was used to seeing Liza put together in a perfectly orchestrated outfit, flawless skin, hair, and shoes. She always wore incredible shoes.

No one in our family seemed surprised by Liza’s new diagnosis of #bipolardisorder, but I was still skeptical. Liza wasn’t in the hospital for very long, and I questioned how extensive any diagnostic testing had been or whether she had cooperated with it. Liza asked Mom and I to follow her into a bedroom to listen to some music she was working on. She was always a passionate music lover, and had produced two tracks that charted on Billboard for her genre. She sat on the edge of the bed at the large-screen Mac computer that Mom helped her pay for. Mom and I stood behind her for what felt like a very long time. Liza blasted music so loudly that I was concerned for her neighbors and for her dog, Lady’s, ears. She went on excitedly about how this song was going to be her big breakthrough. The song sampled A Horse with No Name, a song that reminded her of Dad. Mom shot me an eyebrow-raised, wide-eyed look over the top of Liza’s head, as if to say, “she’s lost her mind.” I shook my head and dismissively broke our eye contact.

#James Donaldson notes:Welcome to the “next chapter” of my life… being a voice and an advocate for #mentalhealthawarenessandsuicideprevention, especially pertaining to our younger generation of students and student-athletes.Getting men to speak up and reach out for help and assistance is one of my passions. Us men need to not suffer in silence or drown our sorrows in alcohol, hang out at bars and strip joints, or get involved with drug use.Having gone through a recent bout of #depression and #suicidalthoughts myself, I realize now, that I can make a huge difference in the lives of so many by sharing my story, and by sharing various resources I come across as I work in this space.  #http://bit.ly/JamesMentalHealthArticleOrder your copy of James Donaldson's latest book,#CelebratingYourGiftofLife:From The Verge of Suicide to a Life of Purpose and Joy

http://www.celebratingyourgiftoflife.com

Beyond the piano, the back wall of Liza’s condo was all windows. Out of those windows was a breathtaking, clear view across the Hudson River to midtown Manhattan. I commented to Liza that she didn’t need artwork because the view was more stunning than any painting she could hang. She said that she loved watching the fireworks from her sofa.

Almost three year later, when the #pandemic began in 2020, everyone seemed to be struggling with too much or not enough solitude. Singles were lonely and feared they would become celibate, while families felt the #stress of being shuttered inside with their #children and spouses. Liza, divorced and without #children, was especially affected by the #isolation. Her dogs, Lady and Petunia, provided her only companionship. She was an extrovert, a hugger, and a close-talker, and she relied heavily on human connection. The lockdown abruptly cancelled the things she loved: the gym, dining out, dancing, traveling, hugging and kissing her friends and family.

The volatile social and political climate of 2020 only added fuel to Liza’s fire. Anyone who cared to know my sister knew that her tough-guy exterior was truly an act. She absorbed and internalized the pain around her, and 2020 was rife with suffering.   She loathed the Trump-Pence administration and spent a lot of energy ranting about it to me during phone calls and on #socialmedia. Liza was a genderqueer #woman with a chronic illness (a thyroid disorder called Graves’ Disease) and a #mentalillness; her disdain and fear of the administration was intensely personal. Under Trump’s rule, people like her simply did not count. I know Trump didn’t kill Liza, but his leadership fostered a pernicious atmosphere for what became her perfect storm.

I breathed a sigh of relief after the election, not realizing that I had been holding my breath. Inauguration Day – barely a week after my sister’s death – was the first time I felt hopeful and physically lighter in a long time. I wish Liza could have believed that the good guys always win. I looked up at the sky and said something aloud to the effect of, “Did you see, he’s gone? I hope you are happier. I wish you could have just held on a little longer.”

Then, six days into 2021, the nation was locked on the media and at least half of us watched in terror as an armed mob of right-wing extremists invaded the Capitol trying to block Biden’s confirmation. I watched in disbelief as angry people wearing Make America Great Again hats, animal fur and horns, and draped in #American flags, poured screaming into the Capitol building. I don’t know how long we can ask people like Liza to hang on by a thread in the face of such chaos.

In 2022, the #pandemic still has a tight grip on us. Most employees are working remotely. Emergency rooms are bursting at the seams at 115 percent capacity. People with broken bones, bleeding injuries, and #COVID-19 sit on gurneys that line the hospital hallways. The National Guard fills in the gaps in hospital staffing. Any #psychiatric treatment has been especially scarce during the #pandemic, even in the medical Mecca of Massachusetts. A #patient might sit in the emergency room for more than two weeks awaiting a psychiatric bed. It is easy to see how someone suffering from #mentalillness might forgo the hospital and succumb to suicidal thoughts, rather than wait in an emergency room for treatment that may or may not help.

The development of vaccinations seemed to be the light at the end of the proverbial tunnel, but it wasn’t. Instead, vaccination became a divisive, politically charged topic. In some poor countries, there were not enough precious vaccines to protect the population. Here, many #Americans refused the readily available, free vaccines for everyone older than five. The #virus, of course, continued to circulate and mutate. Still, some people refused to wear face masks. Others sent their sick #children into the public #schools, so as not to be inconvenienced. Some people seemed more concerned with their individual liberties above all else.

The true toll won’t be measured in weeks, as we naively thought at the pandemic’s onset, or even in years, but in generations. In addition to the more than 800,000 #Americans who have died of #COVID-19, we are losing people like my sister, Liza, too.

Meet the Author

Abigail Salois

Attorney, Lives in Holden

Bio » Latest Stories »

We must check in on our loved ones, especially the fragile ones. We cannot use our discomfort as an excuse to avoid discussions about #mentalhealth and #suicide. My fervent hope is that we consider the collateral impacts that our choices have on on other people, especially those of us whose physical and mental health already hang in the balance, sometimes fatally so.
https://standingabovethecrowd.com/2022/08/jamesdonaldson-on-mentalhealth-in-these-times-we-must-check-in-on-loved-ones/

Discomfort cannot be excuse to avoid talking about #mentalillness, #suicide

ABIGAIL SALOIS

MY OLDER SISTER Liza died on October 25, 2020, when all her struggles came to a head; no single factor was to blame. She did not treat or really acknowledge her #mentalillness. She misused #drugs and #alcohol. She and her wife had divorced a few years earlier, and there were rifts between her and some relatives, including our brother. Her finances and housing were unstable after a failed real estate investment in Tampa, Florida. The culmination of these circumstances made her a live grenade with the pin pulled.

When she died, friends said, “You must be in shock,” but I wasn’t. The last few years, I dreaded the day that Liza would kill herself, though I was powerless to stop it from coming. The turmoil that defined 2020 whirled Hurricane Liza bigger and stronger, until she was lethally out of control.

In 2017, Liza tried to take her life and was psychiatrically hospitalized. Her hospitalization was awful, and seemed more harmful than beneficial. She was not allowed to have her phone, so I had to call the hospital staff to retrieve Liza to take my call. It seemed overly restrictive and demeaning; I didn’t think Liza was that sick. I told her unequivocally that I needed her here and that it would be a disservice to deprive my young #children of their fierce, one-of-a-kind Auntie Liza. “C’mon, you are the only one that I actually like!” I said.  That coaxed a laugh. “I know, I know. I love you too,” she responded, but she didn’t promise me that she would stay. I didn’t realize that asking her to stick around, in enormous pain, so that she could see my #kids every few months was too much to ask.

The hospital seemed focused on avoiding costly litigation by physically keeping Liza from harming herself and then releasing her as soon as possible. Once she convinced hospital staff that she was well enough, her discharge plan included a therapeutic day program, which I knew she would never attend, and more medications, which I knew she would not take. My nagging phone calls to “check in” and ask if she went to the program yet made no difference. With her #mentalillness untreated, I picked nervously at the skin around my fingernails, and I waited for the other shoe to crash down. Mom and I visited Liza during the week after she came home from the hospital. We milled around in the open space between Liza’s newly renovated kitchen and the living area. She and her wife moved to a condo in a high-rise building in Guttenberg, New Jersey, sometime after Liza sold her longtime home in the Forest Hills neighborhood of Queens.

Their marriage was deteriorating. Liza’s mother-in-law had been visiting from Moscow for over six months. She spoke only Russian, was overtly homophobic, and for her benefit, everyone had been pretending Liza and her wife were roommates. A few years earlier, I had given them an image on canvas of them smiling in a dancing embrace at our wedding. I saw it hanging in the hallway and wondered what the mother-in-law thought about it. Liza’s wife was at work during the afternoon of our visit and her mother-in-law wasn’t there either.

Everything – from the heirloom furniture that belonged to Liza’s mother (Liza and I have the same father, but different mothers), to the artwork on the walls – was closer together here. The 200-year-old baby grand piano from my #childhood home in Connecticut stood in the living room. Mom sold the house following Dad’s 2015 death, and shipped the piano to New Jersey, though she was concerned there wouldn’t be space for it. Liza said that she was teaching herself to play with my old piano lesson books that were still stored in the bench, but the piano served as a stand for potted plants and framed photos for the time being. It had served the same purpose in our house.

We all hoped our chatter about kitchen renovations and long-forgotten piano instruction would cover up the real reason we were together that afternoon. Though #mentalhealthissues were becoming less taboo, we three #children of the ’50s, ’70s, and ’80s were not terribly comfortable discussing #suicide. I planned to let Liza take the lead on whether she wanted to talk about what happened. She’d been through a lot and I didn’t want to push. I was also avoiding the topic of #suicide, just like everyone else does.

Today, I know that not asking a depressed person about #suicide is just as short-sighted as not talking to #teenagers about sex. It has been a cruel education.

Whether it was due to shame or true denial, Liza did not characterize the overdose as a failed #suicide that day, but she didn’t insist that it was accidental either. She vaguely mentioned prescription drugs and that she had been drinking too much vodka lately, but I struggled to follow the conversation because she was talking so much and so quickly, and jumping around from topic to topic.

Looking at my sister that day, I saw distress in her black hair’s grey roots and her tired clothing. She was wearing a black hooded sweatshirt and looked terribly bedraggled. I was used to seeing Liza put together in a perfectly orchestrated outfit, flawless skin, hair, and shoes. She always wore incredible shoes.

No one in our family seemed surprised by Liza’s new diagnosis of #bipolardisorder, but I was still skeptical. Liza wasn’t in the hospital for very long, and I questioned how extensive any diagnostic testing had been or whether she had cooperated with it. Liza asked Mom and I to follow her into a bedroom to listen to some music she was working on. She was always a passionate music lover, and had produced two tracks that charted on Billboard for her genre. She sat on the edge of the bed at the large-screen Mac computer that Mom helped her pay for. Mom and I stood behind her for what felt like a very long time. Liza blasted music so loudly that I was concerned for her neighbors and for her dog, Lady’s, ears. She went on excitedly about how this song was going to be her big breakthrough. The song sampled A Horse with No Name, a song that reminded her of Dad. Mom shot me an eyebrow-raised, wide-eyed look over the top of Liza’s head, as if to say, “she’s lost her mind.” I shook my head and dismissively broke our eye contact.

#James Donaldson notes:Welcome to the “next chapter” of my life… being a voice and an advocate for #mentalhealthawarenessandsuicideprevention, especially pertaining to our younger generation of students and student-athletes.Getting men to speak up and reach out for help and assistance is one of my passions. Us men need to not suffer in silence or drown our sorrows in alcohol, hang out at bars and strip joints, or get involved with drug use.Having gone through a recent bout of #depression and #suicidalthoughts myself, I realize now, that I can make a huge difference in the lives of so many by sharing my story, and by sharing various resources I come across as I work in this space.  #http://bit.ly/JamesMentalHealthArticleOrder your copy of James Donaldson's latest book,#CelebratingYourGiftofLife:From The Verge of Suicide to a Life of Purpose and Joy

http://www.celebratingyourgiftoflife.com

Beyond the piano, the back wall of Liza’s condo was all windows. Out of those windows was a breathtaking, clear view across the Hudson River to midtown Manhattan. I commented to Liza that she didn’t need artwork because the view was more stunning than any painting she could hang. She said that she loved watching the fireworks from her sofa.

Almost three year later, when the #pandemic began in 2020, everyone seemed to be struggling with too much or not enough solitude. Singles were lonely and feared they would become celibate, while families felt the #stress of being shuttered inside with their #children and spouses. Liza, divorced and without #children, was especially affected by the #isolation. Her dogs, Lady and Petunia, provided her only companionship. She was an extrovert, a hugger, and a close-talker, and she relied heavily on human connection. The lockdown abruptly cancelled the things she loved: the gym, dining out, dancing, traveling, hugging and kissing her friends and family.

The volatile social and political climate of 2020 only added fuel to Liza’s fire. Anyone who cared to know my sister knew that her tough-guy exterior was truly an act. She absorbed and internalized the pain around her, and 2020 was rife with suffering.   She loathed the Trump-Pence administration and spent a lot of energy ranting about it to me during phone calls and on #socialmedia. Liza was a genderqueer #woman with a chronic illness (a thyroid disorder called Graves’ Disease) and a #mentalillness; her disdain and fear of the administration was intensely personal. Under Trump’s rule, people like her simply did not count. I know Trump didn’t kill Liza, but his leadership fostered a pernicious atmosphere for what became her perfect storm.

I breathed a sigh of relief after the election, not realizing that I had been holding my breath. Inauguration Day – barely a week after my sister’s death – was the first time I felt hopeful and physically lighter in a long time. I wish Liza could have believed that the good guys always win. I looked up at the sky and said something aloud to the effect of, “Did you see, he’s gone? I hope you are happier. I wish you could have just held on a little longer.”

Then, six days into 2021, the nation was locked on the media and at least half of us watched in terror as an armed mob of right-wing extremists invaded the Capitol trying to block Biden’s confirmation. I watched in disbelief as angry people wearing Make America Great Again hats, animal fur and horns, and draped in #American flags, poured screaming into the Capitol building. I don’t know how long we can ask people like Liza to hang on by a thread in the face of such chaos.

In 2022, the #pandemic still has a tight grip on us. Most employees are working remotely. Emergency rooms are bursting at the seams at 115 percent capacity. People with broken bones, bleeding injuries, and #COVID-19 sit on gurneys that line the hospital hallways. The National Guard fills in the gaps in hospital staffing. Any #psychiatric treatment has been especially scarce during the #pandemic, even in the medical Mecca of Massachusetts. A #patient might sit in the emergency room for more than two weeks awaiting a psychiatric bed. It is easy to see how someone suffering from #mentalillness might forgo the hospital and succumb to suicidal thoughts, rather than wait in an emergency room for treatment that may or may not help.

The development of vaccinations seemed to be the light at the end of the proverbial tunnel, but it wasn’t. Instead, vaccination became a divisive, politically charged topic. In some poor countries, there were not enough precious vaccines to protect the population. Here, many #Americans refused the readily available, free vaccines for everyone older than five. The #virus, of course, continued to circulate and mutate. Still, some people refused to wear face masks. Others sent their sick #children into the public #schools, so as not to be inconvenienced. Some people seemed more concerned with their individual liberties above all else.

The true toll won’t be measured in weeks, as we naively thought at the pandemic’s onset, or even in years, but in generations. In addition to the more than 800,000 #Americans who have died of #COVID-19, we are losing people like my sister, Liza, too.

Meet the Author

Abigail Salois

Attorney, Lives in Holden

Bio » Latest Stories »

We must check in on our loved ones, especially the fragile ones. We cannot use our discomfort as an excuse to avoid discussions about #mentalhealth and #suicide. My fervent hope is that we consider the collateral impacts that our choices have on on other people, especially those of us whose physical and mental health already hang in the balance, sometimes fatally so.
https://standingabovethecrowd.com/?p=9875

How #parents can model healthy coping skills

Writer: Rae Jacobson

Clinical Expert: Lauren Allerhand, PsyD

What You'll Learn

- What causes #teenage anger?
- How can #parents help angry #teens?
- When should you worry about an angry #teenager?

- Quick Read
- Full Article
It’s okay to be angry
Decoding anger
Reach out
Validate and show respect
Check in with yourself
Take a break
When to seek help
Remember the good

#Adolescents are growing and changing. And the hormones that drive puberty can have a big impact on mood. When #kids seem like they’re overreacting it’s important to remember that they’re less able to manage big feelings, like anger, than #adults are.

#Parents should try to see #teenage anger as a normal part of being a person. The goal shouldn’t be to stop #teens from feeling anger, but to help them find safer, less harmful ways of expressing it.

#Teenage problems can seem silly. But to your #child, the feelings they cause are real and painful. When your #child is ready to talk, let them know you take their feelings seriously. Do your best to ask questions and listen without trying to “solve” the problem.

Help #kids talk about their feelings. True, sometimes #teens are just in a bad mood, but anger can also be a sign that something is wrong. If #kids don’t know how to think about and share their feelings, they may act out when what they really need is help. Start by letting them know you’re concerned: “I can tell you’re feeling upset. I’d really like to help. Can we make time to talk when you’re ready?”

But let’s be real. #Parents are only human and #teenagers can be very difficult. It’s normal to feel frustrated. But #kids (yes, even #teenagers) look to #parents for cues on how to behave. If you or your #teen are struggling to keep your temper, take a break, and be open about why: “I can tell I’m just too frustrated to talk right now. Let’s take some time to cool down and start over when we’re feeling calmer.” You can also practice (and let your #teen see you practicing) mindfulness skills like deep breathing or counting to ten.

Finally, anger, frustration, irritation, and even rage are all part of being a person. But if your teen’s anger is having a negative impact on their life, or if there’s violence, it may be time to seek some help.

#Teenage anger is a thing of legend. The stereotype of the eye-rolling, door slamming rebellious #adolescent is often played for laughs, but for #parents dealing with the real thing, it’s anything but funny. Bitter outbursts, unpredictable mood swings, and frequent battles about everything from #school to friends to clothes to who’s going to set the table can leave #parents feeling like they’re walking on eggshells.

And #teenage anger is having a moment. Because, if we’re honest, there’s a lot for #teenagers to feel angry about right now. The #pandemic has caused a year of frustration and disruption. No #school (well sure, the work part but none of the socializing), no hang outs, no parties, no dating. Endless time spent on screens and cooped up with family. #Stress about getting into college. Add to that the greater issues #adolescents are facing: The ongoing fight against #racial injustice, fears about climate change, and uncertainty about what the future holds.

It’s okay to be angry

Anger, says Lauren Allerhand, PsyD, a clinical #psychologist at the #ChildMindInstitute, isn’t necessarily a bad thing. “Anger is an important part of our emotional lives,” she says. “But anger gets a bad rap because the urges that come with it — yelling, fighting, being unkind to others — can be destructive and upsetting.”

#Parents should strive to see #teenage anger not as something to be dispelled or overcome but as a normal part of being a person. “Our job is to help #kids understand that it’s okay to feel angry,” she says. In the right circumstances, like when it drives us to strive for social change, anger can be motivating. “Being angry doesn’t mean there’s something wrong with you, it just means you have to find a way to deal with those feelings.” The goal, she says, shouldn’t be to stop #teens from feeling anger, but to help them find safer, less harmful, and even productive ways of expressing it.

Finding healthy ways to process anger can be a challenge even for the most mature of #adults, but for teenagers biology creates an extra layer of difficulty. Though on the outside #teens may basically seem like (and insist they are) grownups, their brains and bodies are still growing. “The prefrontal cortex, which is the part of our brains involved in problem solving and impulse control, isn’t fully developed until your mid-to-late twenties,” says Dr. Allerhand. #Adolescents are also flush with hormones like testosterone and estrogen, which can have a significant impact on mood. When #kids make impulsive decisions or seem like they’re overreacting to small provocations it can be helpful to remember that they’re biologically less equipped to manage overwhelming feelings — like anger — than #adults.

Decoding anger

Helping #kids learn to talk about what’s causing their anger can be hugely important. True, some #teenage snippiness can be chalked up to the developmentally appropriate (if annoying for #parents) task of separating from #parents (You like that? I hate it!).

But anger can also belie serious problems. Irritability, mood swings, or outbursts may be symptoms of disorders like #anxiety and #depression. Reactions to trauma or negative experiences with which #kids feel unable to cope can also surface as bursts of temper. Even less significant struggles, like trouble at school, or problems with friends or relationships can masquerade as anger, especially if #kids lack the tools to investigate and articulate their feelings.

So what should #parents do?

Reach out

If you notice your #teenager has been angrier or more irritable than usual, don’t skirt the issue. Instead, let them know you’ve noticed something is wrong and invite them to talk when they’re ready. “I can tell you’re feeling upset. I’d really like to help. Can we make time to talk?” If your #child seems resistant, take a step back and wait, says Colin De Miranda, ACSW, a clinical social worker. “Leave the door open but don’t force it. Instead I’d recommend saying something like, “I can see you’re really angry right now and it doesn’t look like you want to talk. I’ll be in the other room when you’re ready.”

Validate and show respect

When your #child is ready to talk let them know you take their feelings seriously. “The absolute number one thing is validation,” says Dr. Allerhand. “Our emotions are a communication tool. They let the other people know how we feel and help us get our needs met.” #Teenage problems can seem silly or overdramatic to #adults, but to your #child, the feelings they cause are real and  painful. When your child expresses anger about something, be careful not to minimize or dismiss it. Instead, acknowledge how they’re feeling — “That sounds so upsetting”— and do your best to ask questions and listen without passing judgement or trying to “solve” the problem.

It can also be hard not to feel frustrated when your teenager’s anger, as it may often be, is directed at you. But even when #kids are being incredibly difficult, they’re still relying on you to be the calmer influence and to let them know that how they’re feeling matters to you. Taking a moment to really acknowledge their emotional experience can also help defuse the situation says Dr. Allerhand. “It’s hard to stay mad when someone really sincerely says, ‘I understand how you’re feeling. I’m here to help.’ ”

Check in with yourself

But let’s be real. It is hard to be your best self under pressure.  Nobody likes being yelled at or having a door slammed in their face. #Parents are only human and #teenagers can be infuriating. It’s normal to feel frustrated, confused or, you know, furious. But kids (yes, even #teenagers) look to parents for cues on how to behave. And as with so much of parenting, helping #kids learn the skills they need to cope with anger, is more about showing, not telling.

“One thing that’s often really hard for #parents to recognize when they’re trying to manage their kids’ anger is the role their own emotions play,” says De Miranda. This doesn’t mean parents can’t, or shouldn’t, get angry, he says. “But it does mean that how you handle it when you do get mad is a huge part of the message you’re sending.”

Checking in with yourself is key to responding effectively, especially when you’re already feeling frustrated.

- Be conscious of your body language and tone. How you say things can matter just as much as what you’re saying. For example, “I’m sorry you’re feeling so frustrated” sounds good on paper, but if you’re saying it through gritted teeth you’re unlikely to get a good response.
- Practice mindfulness skills, like deep breathing, counting to ten, or taking a walk to clear your head. And let your #teenager see you doing it.

#James Donaldson notes:Welcome to the “next chapter” of my life… being a voice and an advocate for #mentalhealthawarenessandsuicideprevention, especially pertaining to our younger generation of students and student-athletes.Getting men to speak up and reach out for help and assistance is one of my passions. Us men need to not suffer in silence or drown our sorrows in alcohol, hang out at bars and strip joints, or get involved with drug use.Having gone through a recent bout of #depression and #suicidalthoughts myself, I realize now, that I can make a huge difference in the lives of so many by sharing my story, and by sharing various resources I come across as I work in this space.  #http://bit.ly/JamesMentalHealthArticleOrder your copy of James Donaldson's latest book,#CelebratingYourGiftofLife:From The Verge of Suicide to a Life of Purpose and Joy

http://www.celebratingyourgiftoflife.com

Take a break

It can be tempting to charge headlong into an argument, but realistically, no one is at their best when they’re angry. If you or your #teen are struggling to keep your temper during an exchange, don’t press it. Instead, model healthy coping skills by choosing to take a break until you’ve cooled off. Be open and clear about your reason for pausing the conversation. For example, “You know, I really want to talk this through with you, but I can tell I’m just too frustrated for it to be productive right now. Let’s both take some time to cool down and we’ll come back to it when we’re feeling calmer.”

Come back to the conversation when you’re both feeling less upset. You’ll not only be giving yourself, and your #teenager, a better chance at saying what you really mean, you’ll also be demonstrating the value of learning how to deescalate.

When to seek help

Anger, frustration, irritation, even rage are all a normal part of being a person. And #teenagers are prone to intense feelings, but if your teen’s anger is having an outsized, negative impact on their life, it may be time to seek some help.

“Anytime that there’s consistent violence or consistent aggression that just can’t be stifled or doesn’t really necessarily correlate with the stimulus — for example if the explosions are really out of proportion for what’s going on — those are red flags,” says De Miranda. Likewise, anger that seems to come out of nowhere or is persistent, regardless of what’s going on may be a sign of something more serious.

“Everyone’s threshold is going to be different,” says Dr. Allerhand. “But if a child’s anger is impacting their ability to function, or having a serious impact on the family at large, or there’s concern about physical harm, like getting into fights or hurting themselves or others, that’s when it’s time to seek outside help.”

Remember the good

That said, our clinicians caution #parents to remember that this past year has been unusually difficult for #teenagers (and everyone else) and that our collective ability to cope with #stress has been taxed to breaking point.

“We could all benefit from practicing a little acceptance,” says De Miranda. “This has been such a hard time, especially for #teenagers. I think it is really important that #parents recognize that even though it may not look like it, their #kids are trying. And that while they may blow up, it has more to do with their brain development and their ability to control chemical signals and the extraordinary amount of #stress we’ve all been facing than anything else.”

It can be easy, he says, for #parents to become over-focused on the bad and the mad, and forget to honor the good moments. Dr. Allerhand agrees. “Something simple we can do is to remember that we’re all doing the best we can given the current situation and our skillset.”

Finding ways to give a little space and a little grace, and being intentional about acknowledging and enjoying good moments with your #teenager will help you both feel more connected and give you both something to come back to when blowups inevitably do happen.
https://standingabovethecrowd.com/2022/08/jamesdonaldson-on-mentalhealth-teens-and-anger-3/

How #parents can model healthy coping skills

Writer: Rae Jacobson

Clinical Expert: Lauren Allerhand, PsyD

What You'll Learn

- What causes #teenage anger?
- How can #parents help angry #teens?
- When should you worry about an angry #teenager?

- Quick Read
- Full Article
It’s okay to be angry
Decoding anger
Reach out
Validate and show respect
Check in with yourself
Take a break
When to seek help
Remember the good

#Adolescents are growing and changing. And the hormones that drive puberty can have a big impact on mood. When #kids seem like they’re overreacting it’s important to remember that they’re less able to manage big feelings, like anger, than #adults are.

#Parents should try to see #teenage anger as a normal part of being a person. The goal shouldn’t be to stop #teens from feeling anger, but to help them find safer, less harmful ways of expressing it.

#Teenage problems can seem silly. But to your #child, the feelings they cause are real and painful. When your #child is ready to talk, let them know you take their feelings seriously. Do your best to ask questions and listen without trying to “solve” the problem.

Help #kids talk about their feelings. True, sometimes #teens are just in a bad mood, but anger can also be a sign that something is wrong. If #kids don’t know how to think about and share their feelings, they may act out when what they really need is help. Start by letting them know you’re concerned: “I can tell you’re feeling upset. I’d really like to help. Can we make time to talk when you’re ready?”

But let’s be real. #Parents are only human and #teenagers can be very difficult. It’s normal to feel frustrated. But #kids (yes, even #teenagers) look to #parents for cues on how to behave. If you or your #teen are struggling to keep your temper, take a break, and be open about why: “I can tell I’m just too frustrated to talk right now. Let’s take some time to cool down and start over when we’re feeling calmer.” You can also practice (and let your #teen see you practicing) mindfulness skills like deep breathing or counting to ten.

Finally, anger, frustration, irritation, and even rage are all part of being a person. But if your teen’s anger is having a negative impact on their life, or if there’s violence, it may be time to seek some help.

#Teenage anger is a thing of legend. The stereotype of the eye-rolling, door slamming rebellious #adolescent is often played for laughs, but for #parents dealing with the real thing, it’s anything but funny. Bitter outbursts, unpredictable mood swings, and frequent battles about everything from #school to friends to clothes to who’s going to set the table can leave #parents feeling like they’re walking on eggshells.

And #teenage anger is having a moment. Because, if we’re honest, there’s a lot for #teenagers to feel angry about right now. The #pandemic has caused a year of frustration and disruption. No #school (well sure, the work part but none of the socializing), no hang outs, no parties, no dating. Endless time spent on screens and cooped up with family. #Stress about getting into college. Add to that the greater issues #adolescents are facing: The ongoing fight against #racial injustice, fears about climate change, and uncertainty about what the future holds.

It’s okay to be angry

Anger, says Lauren Allerhand, PsyD, a clinical #psychologist at the #ChildMindInstitute, isn’t necessarily a bad thing. “Anger is an important part of our emotional lives,” she says. “But anger gets a bad rap because the urges that come with it — yelling, fighting, being unkind to others — can be destructive and upsetting.”

#Parents should strive to see #teenage anger not as something to be dispelled or overcome but as a normal part of being a person. “Our job is to help #kids understand that it’s okay to feel angry,” she says. In the right circumstances, like when it drives us to strive for social change, anger can be motivating. “Being angry doesn’t mean there’s something wrong with you, it just means you have to find a way to deal with those feelings.” The goal, she says, shouldn’t be to stop #teens from feeling anger, but to help them find safer, less harmful, and even productive ways of expressing it.

Finding healthy ways to process anger can be a challenge even for the most mature of #adults, but for teenagers biology creates an extra layer of difficulty. Though on the outside #teens may basically seem like (and insist they are) grownups, their brains and bodies are still growing. “The prefrontal cortex, which is the part of our brains involved in problem solving and impulse control, isn’t fully developed until your mid-to-late twenties,” says Dr. Allerhand. #Adolescents are also flush with hormones like testosterone and estrogen, which can have a significant impact on mood. When #kids make impulsive decisions or seem like they’re overreacting to small provocations it can be helpful to remember that they’re biologically less equipped to manage overwhelming feelings — like anger — than #adults.

Decoding anger

Helping #kids learn to talk about what’s causing their anger can be hugely important. True, some #teenage snippiness can be chalked up to the developmentally appropriate (if annoying for #parents) task of separating from #parents (You like that? I hate it!).

But anger can also belie serious problems. Irritability, mood swings, or outbursts may be symptoms of disorders like #anxiety and #depression. Reactions to trauma or negative experiences with which #kids feel unable to cope can also surface as bursts of temper. Even less significant struggles, like trouble at school, or problems with friends or relationships can masquerade as anger, especially if #kids lack the tools to investigate and articulate their feelings.

So what should #parents do?

Reach out

If you notice your #teenager has been angrier or more irritable than usual, don’t skirt the issue. Instead, let them know you’ve noticed something is wrong and invite them to talk when they’re ready. “I can tell you’re feeling upset. I’d really like to help. Can we make time to talk?” If your #child seems resistant, take a step back and wait, says Colin De Miranda, ACSW, a clinical social worker. “Leave the door open but don’t force it. Instead I’d recommend saying something like, “I can see you’re really angry right now and it doesn’t look like you want to talk. I’ll be in the other room when you’re ready.”

Validate and show respect

When your #child is ready to talk let them know you take their feelings seriously. “The absolute number one thing is validation,” says Dr. Allerhand. “Our emotions are a communication tool. They let the other people know how we feel and help us get our needs met.” #Teenage problems can seem silly or overdramatic to #adults, but to your #child, the feelings they cause are real and  painful. When your child expresses anger about something, be careful not to minimize or dismiss it. Instead, acknowledge how they’re feeling — “That sounds so upsetting”— and do your best to ask questions and listen without passing judgement or trying to “solve” the problem.

It can also be hard not to feel frustrated when your teenager’s anger, as it may often be, is directed at you. But even when #kids are being incredibly difficult, they’re still relying on you to be the calmer influence and to let them know that how they’re feeling matters to you. Taking a moment to really acknowledge their emotional experience can also help defuse the situation says Dr. Allerhand. “It’s hard to stay mad when someone really sincerely says, ‘I understand how you’re feeling. I’m here to help.’ ”

Check in with yourself

But let’s be real. It is hard to be your best self under pressure.  Nobody likes being yelled at or having a door slammed in their face. #Parents are only human and #teenagers can be infuriating. It’s normal to feel frustrated, confused or, you know, furious. But kids (yes, even #teenagers) look to parents for cues on how to behave. And as with so much of parenting, helping #kids learn the skills they need to cope with anger, is more about showing, not telling.

“One thing that’s often really hard for #parents to recognize when they’re trying to manage their kids’ anger is the role their own emotions play,” says De Miranda. This doesn’t mean parents can’t, or shouldn’t, get angry, he says. “But it does mean that how you handle it when you do get mad is a huge part of the message you’re sending.”

Checking in with yourself is key to responding effectively, especially when you’re already feeling frustrated.

- Be conscious of your body language and tone. How you say things can matter just as much as what you’re saying. For example, “I’m sorry you’re feeling so frustrated” sounds good on paper, but if you’re saying it through gritted teeth you’re unlikely to get a good response.
- Practice mindfulness skills, like deep breathing, counting to ten, or taking a walk to clear your head. And let your #teenager see you doing it.

#James Donaldson notes:Welcome to the “next chapter” of my life… being a voice and an advocate for #mentalhealthawarenessandsuicideprevention, especially pertaining to our younger generation of students and student-athletes.Getting men to speak up and reach out for help and assistance is one of my passions. Us men need to not suffer in silence or drown our sorrows in alcohol, hang out at bars and strip joints, or get involved with drug use.Having gone through a recent bout of #depression and #suicidalthoughts myself, I realize now, that I can make a huge difference in the lives of so many by sharing my story, and by sharing various resources I come across as I work in this space.  #http://bit.ly/JamesMentalHealthArticleOrder your copy of James Donaldson's latest book,#CelebratingYourGiftofLife:From The Verge of Suicide to a Life of Purpose and Joy

http://www.celebratingyourgiftoflife.com

Take a break

It can be tempting to charge headlong into an argument, but realistically, no one is at their best when they’re angry. If you or your #teen are struggling to keep your temper during an exchange, don’t press it. Instead, model healthy coping skills by choosing to take a break until you’ve cooled off. Be open and clear about your reason for pausing the conversation. For example, “You know, I really want to talk this through with you, but I can tell I’m just too frustrated for it to be productive right now. Let’s both take some time to cool down and we’ll come back to it when we’re feeling calmer.”

Come back to the conversation when you’re both feeling less upset. You’ll not only be giving yourself, and your #teenager, a better chance at saying what you really mean, you’ll also be demonstrating the value of learning how to deescalate.

When to seek help

Anger, frustration, irritation, even rage are all a normal part of being a person. And #teenagers are prone to intense feelings, but if your teen’s anger is having an outsized, negative impact on their life, it may be time to seek some help.

“Anytime that there’s consistent violence or consistent aggression that just can’t be stifled or doesn’t really necessarily correlate with the stimulus — for example if the explosions are really out of proportion for what’s going on — those are red flags,” says De Miranda. Likewise, anger that seems to come out of nowhere or is persistent, regardless of what’s going on may be a sign of something more serious.

“Everyone’s threshold is going to be different,” says Dr. Allerhand. “But if a child’s anger is impacting their ability to function, or having a serious impact on the family at large, or there’s concern about physical harm, like getting into fights or hurting themselves or others, that’s when it’s time to seek outside help.”

Remember the good

That said, our clinicians caution #parents to remember that this past year has been unusually difficult for #teenagers (and everyone else) and that our collective ability to cope with #stress has been taxed to breaking point.

“We could all benefit from practicing a little acceptance,” says De Miranda. “This has been such a hard time, especially for #teenagers. I think it is really important that #parents recognize that even though it may not look like it, their #kids are trying. And that while they may blow up, it has more to do with their brain development and their ability to control chemical signals and the extraordinary amount of #stress we’ve all been facing than anything else.”

It can be easy, he says, for #parents to become over-focused on the bad and the mad, and forget to honor the good moments. Dr. Allerhand agrees. “Something simple we can do is to remember that we’re all doing the best we can given the current situation and our skillset.”

Finding ways to give a little space and a little grace, and being intentional about acknowledging and enjoying good moments with your #teenager will help you both feel more connected and give you both something to come back to when blowups inevitably do happen.
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