Photo by Helena Lopes on Pexels.com

Heather Loeb

Last weekend I turned 38 (for the first time). I had a party, something I haven’t done since maybe the sixth grade. Usually I don’t like parties. I hate socializing in big groups, thanks to #anxiety, and I don’t like being in the spotlight.

It’s not only being the center of attention I don’t like. Socializing has never been my strong suit. Frankly, it exhausts me. I have to save all my energy to go to social events, even if it’s with my best friends. Truthfully, I haven’t planned a party in so long because deep down I was scared nobody would show up. That it would confirm my core belief that I’m a loser and that nobody likes me.

But this year was different. I’ve grown so much. I’m not the same person I was in previous years. Every day, as a navigate my #mentalhealth conditions, I get better, stronger. I love that I can honestly say I’m in recovery. I couldn’t have said that in the past.

I decided to have a George Strait theme for the party, ordering cookies and the cake in his image. A local business printed me a life-size cutout so my guests and I could take pictures. For once I was excited about the party. I commissioned my cousin to make a t-shirt that said, “George Strait Junkie,” and I borrowed my daughter’s karaoke machine, which was unfortunate for my friends (I sang five songs).

The day of the party I was excited and didn’t feel one ounce of dread. I had a little #anxiety at first, but when my friends arrived, I was truly happy to see them. I even drank a little, something I haven’t done in about 12 years or so.

I had fun. My face hurt from smiling, and my voice started to fade a bit, but it was worth it. I had it in my head that I wasn’t the party type, that everything I did that night was out of character. But was it? I saw parts of myself that I hadn’t in years, and some of them felt new. Maybe I’m not that shy, anti-social woman who hates the limelight. Maybe it was the vodka shots. Maybe I’m just at that place where I can celebrate myself.

Honestly, I now feel I deserved to celebrate every year before this one, but something was always stopping me — my #anxiety, #depression, weight, etc. But how sad is that?

We’re all worthy, no matter what’s going on in our lives and bodies. I think that’s hard to swallow for a lot of us, but it shouldn’t be.

I guess I have a deeper appreciation for the growth I’ve worked so hard to nurture. I’m braver, more confident, stronger, grateful. Most of all I’m proud of the work I’ve done to help others affected by #mentalillness. It wasn’t too long ago that I was in the darkest depths of searing misery. Any day you’re not in that place is a good one. I’ll never forget that.

I’ll also no longer let my flaws (for lack of a better word) keep me from being who I am. I’ll remember the Heather who laughed, danced, sang and ate a huge piece of cake on her 38th birthday with not a care in the world, all without sucking my stomach in.

After all, I’m not here for a long time — I’m here for a good time like my buddy George.

Heather Loeb

For more than 20 years, Heather Loeb has experienced major #depression, #anxiety and a personality disorder, while also battling the #stigma of #mentalhealth. She is the creator of Unruly Neurons (www.unrulyneurons.com), a blog dedicated to normalizing #depression and a member of State Rep. Todd Hunter’s #SuicidePrevention Taskforce.

#JamesDonaldson notes:

Welcome to the “next chapter” of my life… being a voice and an advocate for #mentalhealthawarenessandsuicideprevention, especially pertaining to our younger generation of students and student-athletes.

Getting men to speak up and reach out for help and assistance is one of my passions. Us men need to not suffer in silence or drown our sorrows in alcohol, hang out at bars and strip joints, or get involved with drug use.

Having gone through a recent bout of #depression and #suicidalthoughts myself, I realize now, that I can make a huge difference in the lives of so many by sharing my story, and by sharing various resources I come across as I work in this space.  #http://bit.ly/JamesMentalHealthArticle

MIND MATTERS

Now more than ever we need to take care of our #mentalhealth. Guest columnist Heather Loeb discusses why and explores other important #mentalhealth topics in this special series.

This article originally appeared on Corpus Christi Caller Times: #MentalHealth Matters: How to celebrate the good days (flaws and all)

Photo by Helena Lopes on Pexels.com
https://standingabovethecrowd.com/?p=8957