Photo by Anna Shvets on Pexels.com

Helping young people navigate #genderidentity and #sexualorientation

Writer: Juliann Garey

Clinical Experts: Emma C Woodward, PhD , Michael Enenbach, MD

What You'll Learn

- What does it mean for a child to be questioning?

- How can families support kids who are questioning their gender identity or sexual orientation?

- What mental health risks do questioning kids face?

- Quick Read

- Full Article

- What does it mean to be “questioning?”

- What helps kids when they are in a questioning mode?

- Emphasize acceptance

- Risk for mental health challenges

- Dealing with bullying

- How to handle your own challenging feelings

It’s common for kids to question their gender identity and sexual orientation, but the process can be confusing and scary. Young people who are dealing with these kinds of questions do best when their families support them.

If your child comes to you with questions or concerns about their gender identity or sexual orientation, the most important thing is to listen and let them know that you love them and support them no matter what. If you think that your child might be questioning, let them know that you’re always there if they want to talk. Then, let them take the lead, and don’t push them to talk before they’re ready.

It also helps to let your child know that your family accepts all gender identities and sexual orientations. Speak openly about non-straight people in your life and use people’s correct pronouns. And if your child wants to use a different name or pronouns, take them seriously and do as they ask.

Not all kids who are questioning are upset about it, but LGBTQ+ kids are at higher risk for challenges like depression and anxiety, especially if they feel rejected by family or friends. Keep an eye out for big changes in mood or #behavior. Kids who are very distressed about their gender identity may also be experiencing a mental health issue called gender dysphoria. Gender dysphoria comes with an increased risk of #suicidalthinking and #behavior, especially when kids don’t feel accepted, but treatment can help a lot.

It’s normal to experience #anxiety or sadness of your own if your child is questioning. Those feelings are valid, but it’s important to cope with them separately from your child and continue supporting them no matter how you feel. A therapist of your own or a support organization like PFLAG can help.

In recent years, the way kids and teens think about gender and sexuality has moved beyond the simple binaries of male/female and gay/straight. This gives them a lot more flexibility to understand and express their gender and sexual orientation in ways that feel right to them. But sorting out these feelings and thoughts can be confusing and sometimes scary — for kids and their families. And questioning kids do best when they have the support of their families.

What does it mean to be “questioning?”

It’s normal for very young children to experiment with gender identity, but “questioning” in this context refers to older kids and young adults who are in the process of exploring their gender identity and/or sexual orientation. For young people, questioning both who they’re attracted to (their sexual orientation) and what gender they identify with (#male, #female or another gender), has become more and more common. A recent poll shows that about 1 in 6 Americans aged 18–23 identify as something other than #heterosexual. Kids who are trying to figure out where they fit along these spectrums are often referred to as “questioning.”

For more on the terminology that young people often use to describe #sexualorientation and #gender identity, see the helpful glossary from the Human Rights Campaign.

What helps kids when they are in a questioning mode?

#Mentalhealthexperts stress the importance of giving kids who are questioning unconditional support at home. “We know that queer youth who have family support adjust to things a lot better,” says Michael Enenbach, MD, a child and #adolescent #psychiatrist and clinical director at the Child Mind Institute in the San Francisco Bay Area. “It’s really vital to have the support of the parents even if parents don’t agree with the child is saying or doing.” That means explicitly letting your child know that you love them, accept them, and stand by them — even if you’re confused or upset by the thoughts and feelings they’re having.

Most kids are probably not going to come right out and tell you that they’re having questions about who they’re attracted to or that they don’t feel right in the body they were born in. Being comfortable enough to reveal these feelings to their friends or parents or even themselves can be a long and difficult process. Dr. Enenbach says that even when parents pick up on signs from their kids — things they say, changes in the way they dress, things they post on #socialmedia, reports from other parents — you shouldn’t push your kids to talk about it. “It’s really important not to be too pointed and assertive,” he says.

So instead of saying something like, “Do you think you might be #gay?” or “I’ve noticed that you’ve been dressing differently,” it’s better to check in with open-ended questions and let them know that you’re there if they need you. You might say: “I hope you know that I’m here for you no matter what, and that you can talk to me about anything that’s going on.” You can also let kids know that if they’d rather talk to someone outside the family, you can arrange for them to meet with a therapist.

Dr. Enenbach also notes that it’s best to keep the conversation light and try not to hover. “Don’t ask every day, ‘How are you doing?’” he advises. Instead, check in once a month. “Ask your child, ‘How’s everything going? Anything you want to talk about? Anything you want to talk to someone else about?’ It’s really something that the teenager needs to figure out on their own, but know that they have the support of #adults.”

Emphasize acceptance

Even without discussing the issue with your child directly, you can take steps to make it clear to them that your family is accepting of all #genderidentities and #sexualorientations. This could include making a real effort to use other people’s correct pronouns, talking openly and without judgment about any non-straight or gender nonconforming people in your family’s life, and even talking about the media you watch together. You may see a character on TV coming out to their family and take the opportunity to say something like, “It’s so great they felt comfortable coming out to their dad. I hope you feel you could come to me if you had questions of your own or wanted to talk to me about your gender or sexuality.”

When a child does start to share ideas about their identity, it’s important for parents to respect those ideas and meet kids where they are. Start by being really open to what they have to say; just hear them out without passing judgment. It may be awkward at first, but that’s okay. The important part is to listen, let them know that you take their feelings seriously and follow their lead.

That includes using the pronouns or names that they ask you to use, even if they’re still figuring out what works for them. “Wherever I meet a family or child with these concerns we use the words that the #teens choose,” says Emma Woodward, PhD, a clinical #psychologist at the #ChildMindInstitute.

Risk for mental health challenges

Just because your child is having questioning thoughts doesn’t mean they’re upset about it. But these thoughts and feelings can cause mental health challenges like #depression and #anxiety, and LGBTQ+ kids are at higher risk for these disorders, especially if they feel rejected by family members or peers.

It’s important for parents to notice when a child seems constantly worried or withdrawn, doesn’t want to see friends, isn’t sleeping or eating well or has lost interest in activities they usually enjoy. These are signs of #mentalhealthchallenges that may or may not be related to gender or #sexualidentity. If these symptoms last more than a few weeks and especially if they seem to be getting worse, it may be time to get your child help from a therapist.

A child who seems to have a high level of distress around gender issues might be experiencing something called gender dysphoria. Kids with gender #dysphoria feel strongly that they are the wrong gender, and those feelings can cause an intense need to change genders.

It’s important to note that being #transgender is not a #mentalhealthdisorder. And not all transgender people experience #genderdysphoria. But kids who do have gender dysphoria are at an increased risk of suicidal thinking and #behavior, especially if family and friends do not accept them as the gender they identify with. Treatment can make a big difference for kids with gender #dysphoria, and #therapists can help families navigate options for kids who are considering transitioning to a different gender.

Dealing with bullying

Kids who are questioning may also be targets for #bullying. Whether or not your child is openly discussing their gender and #sexualidentity with you, it’s important to be ready to advocate for them. If you suspect bullying, start by talking with your child about what they’re experiencing and how they want to handle it. It’s best to get the child’s consent before talking to their teacher about bullying. At the same time, you can let them know that it’s important to stand up for themselves and that you’re ready to back them up: “We don’t have to do it right away, but we might need to talk to your teacher if this keeps happening.” Later, you might consider going to the principal if your concerns aren’t addressed after working with the #teacher.

Even if you don’t have specific concerns about #bullying, it may be helpful to bring up the subject at your next parent-#teacher conference. You might say, “Hey, I know that my child presents a little differently. Have you noticed any teasing or anything like that?” “It’s important to check in with teachers,” Dr. Enenbach says, “but I would only really push and go to the #school administration if you notice that your kid is really distressed and showing signs of #depression.”  

#James Donaldson notes:Welcome to the “next chapter” of my life… being a voice and an advocate for #mentalhealthawarenessandsuicideprevention, especially pertaining to our younger generation of students and student-athletes.Getting men to speak up and reach out for help and assistance is one of my passions. Us men need to not suffer in silence or drown our sorrows in alcohol, hang out at bars and strip joints, or get involved with drug use.Having gone through a recent bout of #depression and #suicidalthoughts myself, I realize now, that I can make a huge difference in the lives of so many by sharing my story, and by sharing various resources I come across as I work in this space.  #http://bit.ly/JamesMentalHealthArticleFind out more about the work I do on my 501c3 non-profit foundationwebsite www.yourgiftoflife.org                            Order your copy of James Donaldson's latest book,#CelebratingYourGiftofLife:From The Verge of Suicide to a Life of Purpose and Joy

www.celebratingyourgiftoflife.com

How to handle your own challenging feelings

It’s normal to experience upsetting feelings of your own if your child is questioning their gender or sexuality. You might feel anxious about the challenges your child could face, how to share news about their identity with extended family, or how to support a child whose identity is different from your own. In particular, parents of kids who are questioning their gender identity might feel a sense of mourning for the child they imagined they would have — the daughter who was going to walk down the aisle in a white dress, for example.

These feelings are all valid, says Dr. Enenbach, but parents should try to avoid letting them get in the way of supporting their child. “I’m not saying it’s easy for parents to be supportive,” Dr. Enenbach says. “But it’s really important to do your best and seek guidance on your own to help support the kid.” Learning more about LGBTQ+ identities and experiences can help, and so can joining a support group for parents for kids in similar situations. PFLAG, an organization for #LGBTQ+ people and their loved ones and allies, is a great place to start.

You might also consider working with a #therapist of your own to process your feelings separately from your child. “That kind of work especially is important for parents to do on their own, with their own provider,” Dr. Woodward says. Parents’ feelings “can cause a child to feel a lot of guilt and shame. Those are complicated feelings, but it’s not the kid’s responsibility to manage their parents’ emotional responses.”

Finally, it’s helpful to remember that questioning kids’ identities may evolve as they continue to explore their #gender and sexuality, so parents shouldn’t expect that the labels or pronouns kids choose for themselves will necessarily be fixed. The goal isn’t to get the #child to settle into an identity, but rather to support them through as much exploration as feels right to them. “It really is about following their lead with how they identify and what language they’re comfortable with,” says Dr. Woodward. All parents want their kids to feel safe, happy and loved. And being supportive, open and informed are the best ways for #parents to help questioning #kids have that experience.

Photo by Anna Shvets on Pexels.com
https://standingabovethecrowd.com/2023/06/jamesdonaldson-on-mentalhealth-how-to-support-kids-who-are-questioning-2/

#JamesDonaldson On #MentalHealth – How To Support #Kids Who Are Questioning

Photo by Anna Shvets on Pexels.com

Helping young people navigate #genderidentity and #sexualorientation

Writer: Juliann Garey

Clinical Experts: Emma C Woodward, PhD , Michael Enenbach, MD

What You'll Learn

- What does it mean for a child to be questioning?

- How can families support kids who are questioning their gender identity or sexual orientation?

- What mental health risks do questioning kids face?

- Quick Read

- Full Article

- What does it mean to be “questioning?”

- What helps kids when they are in a questioning mode?

- Emphasize acceptance

- Risk for mental health challenges

- Dealing with bullying

- How to handle your own challenging feelings

It’s common for kids to question their gender identity and sexual orientation, but the process can be confusing and scary. Young people who are dealing with these kinds of questions do best when their families support them.

If your child comes to you with questions or concerns about their gender identity or sexual orientation, the most important thing is to listen and let them know that you love them and support them no matter what. If you think that your child might be questioning, let them know that you’re always there if they want to talk. Then, let them take the lead, and don’t push them to talk before they’re ready.

It also helps to let your child know that your family accepts all gender identities and sexual orientations. Speak openly about non-straight people in your life and use people’s correct pronouns. And if your child wants to use a different name or pronouns, take them seriously and do as they ask.

Not all kids who are questioning are upset about it, but LGBTQ+ kids are at higher risk for challenges like depression and anxiety, especially if they feel rejected by family or friends. Keep an eye out for big changes in mood or #behavior. Kids who are very distressed about their gender identity may also be experiencing a mental health issue called gender dysphoria. Gender dysphoria comes with an increased risk of #suicidalthinking and #behavior, especially when kids don’t feel accepted, but treatment can help a lot.

It’s normal to experience #anxiety or sadness of your own if your child is questioning. Those feelings are valid, but it’s important to cope with them separately from your child and continue supporting them no matter how you feel. A therapist of your own or a support organization like PFLAG can help.

In recent years, the way kids and teens think about gender and sexuality has moved beyond the simple binaries of male/female and gay/straight. This gives them a lot more flexibility to understand and express their gender and sexual orientation in ways that feel right to them. But sorting out these feelings and thoughts can be confusing and sometimes scary — for kids and their families. And questioning kids do best when they have the support of their families.

What does it mean to be “questioning?”

It’s normal for very young children to experiment with gender identity, but “questioning” in this context refers to older kids and young adults who are in the process of exploring their gender identity and/or sexual orientation. For young people, questioning both who they’re attracted to (their sexual orientation) and what gender they identify with (#male, #female or another gender), has become more and more common. A recent poll shows that about 1 in 6 Americans aged 18–23 identify as something other than #heterosexual. Kids who are trying to figure out where they fit along these spectrums are often referred to as “questioning.”

For more on the terminology that young people often use to describe #sexualorientation and #gender identity, see the helpful glossary from the Human Rights Campaign.

What helps kids when they are in a questioning mode?

#Mentalhealthexperts stress the importance of giving kids who are questioning unconditional support at home. “We know that queer youth who have family support adjust to things a lot better,” says Michael Enenbach, MD, a child and #adolescent #psychiatrist and clinical director at the Child Mind Institute in the San Francisco Bay Area. “It’s really vital to have the support of the parents even if parents don’t agree with the child is saying or doing.” That means explicitly letting your child know that you love them, accept them, and stand by them — even if you’re confused or upset by the thoughts and feelings they’re having.

Most kids are probably not going to come right out and tell you that they’re having questions about who they’re attracted to or that they don’t feel right in the body they were born in. Being comfortable enough to reveal these feelings to their friends or parents or even themselves can be a long and difficult process. Dr. Enenbach says that even when parents pick up on signs from their kids — things they say, changes in the way they dress, things they post on #socialmedia, reports from other parents — you shouldn’t push your kids to talk about it. “It’s really important not to be too pointed and assertive,” he says.

So instead of saying something like, “Do you think you might be #gay?” or “I’ve noticed that you’ve been dressing differently,” it’s better to check in with open-ended questions and let them know that you’re there if they need you. You might say: “I hope you know that I’m here for you no matter what, and that you can talk to me about anything that’s going on.” You can also let kids know that if they’d rather talk to someone outside the family, you can arrange for them to meet with a therapist.

Dr. Enenbach also notes that it’s best to keep the conversation light and try not to hover. “Don’t ask every day, ‘How are you doing?’” he advises. Instead, check in once a month. “Ask your child, ‘How’s everything going? Anything you want to talk about? Anything you want to talk to someone else about?’ It’s really something that the teenager needs to figure out on their own, but know that they have the support of #adults.”

Emphasize acceptance

Even without discussing the issue with your child directly, you can take steps to make it clear to them that your family is accepting of all #genderidentities and #sexualorientations. This could include making a real effort to use other people’s correct pronouns, talking openly and without judgment about any non-straight or gender nonconforming people in your family’s life, and even talking about the media you watch together. You may see a character on TV coming out to their family and take the opportunity to say something like, “It’s so great they felt comfortable coming out to their dad. I hope you feel you could come to me if you had questions of your own or wanted to talk to me about your gender or sexuality.”

When a child does start to share ideas about their identity, it’s important for parents to respect those ideas and meet kids where they are. Start by being really open to what they have to say; just hear them out without passing judgment. It may be awkward at first, but that’s okay. The important part is to listen, let them know that you take their feelings seriously and follow their lead.

That includes using the pronouns or names that they ask you to use, even if they’re still figuring out what works for them. “Wherever I meet a family or child with these concerns we use the words that the #teens choose,” says Emma Woodward, PhD, a clinical #psychologist at the #ChildMindInstitute.

Risk for mental health challenges

Just because your child is having questioning thoughts doesn’t mean they’re upset about it. But these thoughts and feelings can cause mental health challenges like #depression and #anxiety, and LGBTQ+ kids are at higher risk for these disorders, especially if they feel rejected by family members or peers.

It’s important for parents to notice when a child seems constantly worried or withdrawn, doesn’t want to see friends, isn’t sleeping or eating well or has lost interest in activities they usually enjoy. These are signs of #mentalhealthchallenges that may or may not be related to gender or #sexualidentity. If these symptoms last more than a few weeks and especially if they seem to be getting worse, it may be time to get your child help from a therapist.

A child who seems to have a high level of distress around gender issues might be experiencing something called gender dysphoria. Kids with gender #dysphoria feel strongly that they are the wrong gender, and those feelings can cause an intense need to change genders.

It’s important to note that being #transgender is not a #mentalhealthdisorder. And not all transgender people experience #genderdysphoria. But kids who do have gender dysphoria are at an increased risk of suicidal thinking and #behavior, especially if family and friends do not accept them as the gender they identify with. Treatment can make a big difference for kids with gender #dysphoria, and #therapists can help families navigate options for kids who are considering transitioning to a different gender.

Dealing with bullying

Kids who are questioning may also be targets for #bullying. Whether or not your child is openly discussing their gender and #sexualidentity with you, it’s important to be ready to advocate for them. If you suspect bullying, start by talking with your child about what they’re experiencing and how they want to handle it. It’s best to get the child’s consent before talking to their teacher about bullying. At the same time, you can let them know that it’s important to stand up for themselves and that you’re ready to back them up: “We don’t have to do it right away, but we might need to talk to your teacher if this keeps happening.” Later, you might consider going to the principal if your concerns aren’t addressed after working with the #teacher.

Even if you don’t have specific concerns about #bullying, it may be helpful to bring up the subject at your next parent-#teacher conference. You might say, “Hey, I know that my child presents a little differently. Have you noticed any teasing or anything like that?” “It’s important to check in with teachers,” Dr. Enenbach says, “but I would only really push and go to the #school administration if you notice that your kid is really distressed and showing signs of #depression.”  

#James Donaldson notes:
Welcome to the “next chapter” of my life… being a voice and an advocate for #mentalhealthawarenessandsuicideprevention, especially pertaining to our younger generation of students and student-athletes.
Getting men to speak up and reach out for help and assistance is one of my passions. Us men need to not suffer in silence or drown our sorrows in alcohol, hang out at bars and strip joints, or get involved with drug use.
Having gone through a recent bout of #depression and #suicidalthoughts myself, I realize now, that I can make a huge difference in the lives of so many by sharing my story, and by sharing various resources I come across as I work in this space.  #http://bit.ly/JamesMentalHealthArticle
Find out more about the work I do on my 501c3 non-profit foundation
website www.yourgiftoflife.org                            Order your copy of James Donaldson's latest book,
#CelebratingYourGiftofLife:
From The Verge of Suicide to a Life of Purpose and Joy

www.celebratingyourgiftoflife.com

How to handle your own challenging feelings

It’s normal to experience upsetting feelings of your own if your child is questioning their gender or sexuality. You might feel anxious about the challenges your child could face, how to share news about their identity with extended family, or how to support a child whose identity is different from your own. In particular, parents of kids who are questioning their gender identity might feel a sense of mourning for the child they imagined they would have — the daughter who was going to walk down the aisle in a white dress, for example.

These feelings are all valid, says Dr. Enenbach, but parents should try to avoid letting them get in the way of supporting their child. “I’m not saying it’s easy for parents to be supportive,” Dr. Enenbach says. “But it’s really important to do your best and seek guidance on your own to help support the kid.” Learning more about LGBTQ+ identities and experiences can help, and so can joining a support group for parents for kids in similar situations. PFLAG, an organization for #LGBTQ+ people and their loved ones and allies, is a great place to start.

You might also consider working with a #therapist of your own to process your feelings separately from your child. “That kind of work especially is important for parents to do on their own, with their own provider,” Dr. Woodward says. Parents’ feelings “can cause a child to feel a lot of guilt and shame. Those are complicated feelings, but it’s not the kid’s responsibility to manage their parents’ emotional responses.”

Finally, it’s helpful to remember that questioning kids’ identities may evolve as they continue to explore their #gender and sexuality, so parents shouldn’t expect that the labels or pronouns kids choose for themselves will necessarily be fixed. The goal isn’t to get the #child to settle into an identity, but rather to support them through as much exploration as feels right to them. “It really is about following their lead with how they identify and what language they’re comfortable with,” says Dr. Woodward. All parents want their kids to feel safe, happy and loved. And being supportive, open and informed are the best ways for #parents to help questioning #kids have that experience.

Photo by Anna Shvets on Pexels.com
https://standingabovethecrowd.com/2023/06/jamesdonaldson-on-mentalhealth-how-to-support-kids-who-are-questioning-2/

Tanyel Mustafa

Mike and his daughter, Beth, as a #child

‘It’s sent me into a spiral of #depression, and probably even #suicidalbehavior. Most of the world is unbearable, even to this day,’ confesses Mike Palmer, a father who’s youngest daughter died by #suicide in 2020.

Mike’s daughter, Beth Palmer, was just 17 when she died. He has since, naturally, struggled with poor #mentalhealth himself.

Studies show that those directly affected by #suicide are more likely to die in the same way.

‘Survivors of #suicide loss are at higher risk of developing major #depression, #posttraumaticstressdisorder, and #suicidalbehaviors’, a paper from the University of California reads, while a research from UCL found ‘people bereaved by the sudden death of a friend or family member are 65% more likely to attempt #suicide if the deceased died by #suicide than if they died by natural causes.’

While there are resources and support groups for affected by #suicide in the immediate aftermath of #grief, seldom does their own long-term #mentalhealth get as serious a look-in.

Since the passing of his daughter, Mike, 58, has sought out education around the matter and has been there to support other parents in similar circumstances. He’s also raised more than £1,000,000 for #suicideprevention charity, Papyrus.

It was in Manchester during the #coronavirus lockdowns that Mike thinks Beth’s #mentalhealth plummeted, as her world fell apart and upcoming singing performances she had booked across the city were cancelled.

However, Mike says ‘we’ll never know all the reasons why’ his daughter ended her life, and now thinks the family ‘missed the signs’, and put her #behavior at the time down to being a ‘#teenager’.

‘What is left behind is basically everything is shattered and the the ripple effect is absolutely huge,’ he says.

‘We basically limp along with our life now. But I work to raise awareness for prevention of young #suicide. That’s my aim and my my point at the moment.’

Mike with Andy and Tim

In March, Mike, along with Andy Airey and Tim Owen – the three of them known as the 3 Dads Walking due to their charity walks – successfully brought a debate around #suicide education to government. #Suicideprevention will now be included in the national curriculum, thanks to their campaigning.

This altruism was born out of immense suffering. Mike says the world ‘changes color’ and sometimes you don’t know ‘how to breathe’ anymore when you’ve lost someone by #suicide.

‘I couldn’t even get out of bed. There’s many emotions after losing someone to #suicide, obviously, there’s all the despair and pain.

‘There’s also anger as well. But I am angry at myself too, because I do believe I missed some signs.’

Wanting to learn more about mental health, Mike went on to train in multiple areas including post-#suicide, through courses and charities. He can now instruct #mentalhealth first aid, among much more.

‘Sometimes post-#suicide there isn’t enough signposting,’ he adds.

‘There is support out there, but often people don’t know how to find support, either.’

Niyc Pidgeon, a #psychologist, knows this only too well. Having lost friends to #suicide over the years including Love Island’s Sophie Gradon – and having attempted #suicide aged 12 herself, she sees the impact on people both personally and professionally.

She says the effects on those left behind cannot be underestimated.

‘The impact of #suicide can ricochet through families and friendship groups, leaving a wake of emptiness and #grief behind where those close to someone who died by #suicide are left trying to make sense of what happened,’ she explains.

‘It is said that one person dying by #suicide impacts six people directly who are close to them, and exposes more than 135 people around them, meaning that as well as almost a million people dying by #suicide, millions of loved ones are impacted by #suicide every year too.’

#James Donaldson notes:Welcome to the “next chapter” of my life… being a voice and an advocate for #mentalhealthawarenessandsuicideprevention, especially pertaining to our younger generation of students and student-athletes.Getting men to speak up and reach out for help and assistance is one of my passions. Us men need to not suffer in silence or drown our sorrows in alcohol, hang out at bars and strip joints, or get involved with drug use.Having gone through a recent bout of #depression and #suicidalthoughts myself, I realize now, that I can make a huge difference in the lives of so many by sharing my story, and by sharing various resources I come across as I work in this space.  #http://bit.ly/JamesMentalHealthArticleFind out more about the work I do on my 501c3 non-profit foundationwebsite www.yourgiftoflife.org Order your copy of James Donaldson's latest book,#CelebratingYourGiftofLife: From The Verge of Suicide to a Life of Purpose and Joy

www.celebratingyourgiftoflife.com

Mike’s daughter Beth

Mike began walking with other grieving dads

While #suicide is an obvious marker of an ending, so to speak, it also – for those still living – is the beginning of a new way of life: one that wasn’t planned for or expected, and one that falls out of line with the ‘norm’.

Niyc says: ‘An abrupt change like this can affect their own #mentalhealth and put loved ones at greater risk of experiencing #depression, #grief, #posttraumaticstressdisorder, and even #suicidalthoughts and #behaviors themselves. 

‘Feelings of sadness, loss and confusion can become more prevalent and we know that unlike positive emotions, which have an expansive, energizing and building effect, these kinds of feelings can cause narrowing of thinking and dampen your enthusiasm for life. 

‘However, we are also able to find a deeper sense of meaning and purpose through challenging times too, and research shows that this discovery of meaning is both healing, as well as acting as a preventative measure too.’

These people can end up ‘less willing to reach out for help for themselves’, especially when battling shock, shame and guilt – three commonly reported experiences in #suicidesurvivors.

‘When dealing with #grief it can sometimes feel like we just have to get on with things,’ Niyc adds.

There is also a historical #stigma around #suicide – only recently has it become a topic which is discussed more freely, and even then, it can be hard to bring up.

When people do reach out though, Mike thankfully has found support is often found.

‘You join a club you really do not want to join. But you do if you reach out within that club, you’ll find someone who will give you a some sort of helping hand,’ he says.

Feeling isolated and in a ‘dark place’, Mike began to speak to other grieving dads. Two years on, he speaks to bereaved parents every day – which, he adds, ‘isn’t an exaggeration’.

Nicy has gone on to work in #mentalhealth

As well as helping others, Mike also has certain habits that help his own #mental state.

‘#Suicide in many ways it’s like carrying a massive boulder around. You just can’t lose it,’ he says.

‘But I’m doing something now. I’m walking my dog. He’s a small, smelly little dog. But he’s got me out on this sunny day, and I’m walking outside. That’s got to be a huge plus.

‘So how do I cope day by day? Every day is different. The fundraising and awareness stuff I do takes up a lot of my life at the moment.

‘I do try and keep busy. I try and wake up every day with a plan.’

Mike has sought out therapy, gone to organizations such as Greater Manchester Bereavement Information Service for support, and contacted his GP – who he still regularly checks in with.

‘To be quite honest, my GP wasn’t really up to speed with post-#suicide support what was going on with me. She’s since made a huge effort to educate herself,’ he says.

‘But you have to talk, talk, talk and talk. Because you have to process it in the end. It really will never go away. That’s too much to hope for.

‘The #grief will change in time, so you will be able to operate.

‘It may not be the life you foresaw, but it’s a life still worth living – even if you’re living for other people, as well.’

Nicy adds: ‘Making #mentalhealth and wellbeing a focus point within our lives, relationships and in the workplace is going to be key to helping protect more people from the risk of #suicide, and help more people find the willingness to live.’

How can we support those affected by #suicide better?

- Continue to normalize conversations about #mentalhealth, as this allows for people to feel more comfortable sharing their feelings and opening up to receive support. 

- Simply asking someone how they’re feeling today, inviting them out for a walk, and letting them know they matter can help increase their sense of belonging. 

- Cultivating a sense of #hopefulness and having something to look forward to, knowing there is a light at the end of the tunnel, can make a difference. 
https://standingabovethecrowd.com/2023/06/jamesdonaldson-on-mentalheath-its-a-life-still-worth-living-the-people-left-behind-after-suicide/

#JamesDonaldson On #MentalHeath – ‘It’s A Life Still Worth Living’: The People Left Behind After #Suicide

Tanyel Mustafa

Mike and his daughter, Beth, as a #child

‘It’s sent me into a spiral of #depression, and probably even #suicidalbehavior. Most of the world is unbearable, even to this day,’ confesses Mike Palmer, a father who’s youngest daughter died by #suicide in 2020.

Mike’s daughter, Beth Palmer, was just 17 when she died. He has since, naturally, struggled with poor #mentalhealth himself.

Studies show that those directly affected by #suicide are more likely to die in the same way.

‘Survivors of #suicide loss are at higher risk of developing major #depression, #posttraumaticstressdisorder, and #suicidalbehaviors’, a paper from the University of California reads, while a research from UCL found ‘people bereaved by the sudden death of a friend or family member are 65% more likely to attempt #suicide if the deceased died by #suicide than if they died by natural causes.’

While there are resources and support groups for affected by #suicide in the immediate aftermath of #grief, seldom does their own long-term #mentalhealth get as serious a look-in.

Since the passing of his daughter, Mike, 58, has sought out education around the matter and has been there to support other parents in similar circumstances. He’s also raised more than £1,000,000 for #suicideprevention charity, Papyrus.

It was in Manchester during the #coronavirus lockdowns that Mike thinks Beth’s #mentalhealth plummeted, as her world fell apart and upcoming singing performances she had booked across the city were cancelled.

However, Mike says ‘we’ll never know all the reasons why’ his daughter ended her life, and now thinks the family ‘missed the signs’, and put her #behavior at the time down to being a ‘#teenager’.

‘What is left behind is basically everything is shattered and the the ripple effect is absolutely huge,’ he says.

‘We basically limp along with our life now. But I work to raise awareness for prevention of young #suicide. That’s my aim and my my point at the moment.’

Mike with Andy and Tim

In March, Mike, along with Andy Airey and Tim Owen – the three of them known as the 3 Dads Walking due to their charity walks – successfully brought a debate around #suicide education to government. #Suicideprevention will now be included in the national curriculum, thanks to their campaigning.

This altruism was born out of immense suffering. Mike says the world ‘changes color’ and sometimes you don’t know ‘how to breathe’ anymore when you’ve lost someone by #suicide.

‘I couldn’t even get out of bed. There’s many emotions after losing someone to #suicide, obviously, there’s all the despair and pain.

‘There’s also anger as well. But I am angry at myself too, because I do believe I missed some signs.’

Wanting to learn more about mental health, Mike went on to train in multiple areas including post-#suicide, through courses and charities. He can now instruct #mentalhealth first aid, among much more.

‘Sometimes post-#suicide there isn’t enough signposting,’ he adds.

‘There is support out there, but often people don’t know how to find support, either.’

Niyc Pidgeon, a #psychologist, knows this only too well. Having lost friends to #suicide over the years including Love Island’s Sophie Gradon – and having attempted #suicide aged 12 herself, she sees the impact on people both personally and professionally.

She says the effects on those left behind cannot be underestimated.

‘The impact of #suicide can ricochet through families and friendship groups, leaving a wake of emptiness and #grief behind where those close to someone who died by #suicide are left trying to make sense of what happened,’ she explains.

‘It is said that one person dying by #suicide impacts six people directly who are close to them, and exposes more than 135 people around them, meaning that as well as almost a million people dying by #suicide, millions of loved ones are impacted by #suicide every year too.’

#James Donaldson notes:
Welcome to the “next chapter” of my life… being a voice and an advocate for #mentalhealthawarenessandsuicideprevention, especially pertaining to our younger generation of students and student-athletes.
Getting men to speak up and reach out for help and assistance is one of my passions. Us men need to not suffer in silence or drown our sorrows in alcohol, hang out at bars and strip joints, or get involved with drug use.
Having gone through a recent bout of #depression and #suicidalthoughts myself, I realize now, that I can make a huge difference in the lives of so many by sharing my story, and by sharing various resources I come across as I work in this space.  #http://bit.ly/JamesMentalHealthArticle
Find out more about the work I do on my 501c3 non-profit foundation
website www.yourgiftoflife.org Order your copy of James Donaldson's latest book,
#CelebratingYourGiftofLife: From The Verge of Suicide to a Life of Purpose and Joy



www.celebratingyourgiftoflife.com

Mike’s daughter Beth

Mike began walking with other grieving dads

While #suicide is an obvious marker of an ending, so to speak, it also – for those still living – is the beginning of a new way of life: one that wasn’t planned for or expected, and one that falls out of line with the ‘norm’.

Niyc says: ‘An abrupt change like this can affect their own #mentalhealth and put loved ones at greater risk of experiencing #depression, #grief, #posttraumaticstressdisorder, and even #suicidalthoughts and #behaviors themselves. 

‘Feelings of sadness, loss and confusion can become more prevalent and we know that unlike positive emotions, which have an expansive, energizing and building effect, these kinds of feelings can cause narrowing of thinking and dampen your enthusiasm for life. 

‘However, we are also able to find a deeper sense of meaning and purpose through challenging times too, and research shows that this discovery of meaning is both healing, as well as acting as a preventative measure too.’

These people can end up ‘less willing to reach out for help for themselves’, especially when battling shock, shame and guilt – three commonly reported experiences in #suicidesurvivors.

‘When dealing with #grief it can sometimes feel like we just have to get on with things,’ Niyc adds.

There is also a historical #stigma around #suicide – only recently has it become a topic which is discussed more freely, and even then, it can be hard to bring up.

When people do reach out though, Mike thankfully has found support is often found.

‘You join a club you really do not want to join. But you do if you reach out within that club, you’ll find someone who will give you a some sort of helping hand,’ he says.

Feeling isolated and in a ‘dark place’, Mike began to speak to other grieving dads. Two years on, he speaks to bereaved parents every day – which, he adds, ‘isn’t an exaggeration’.

Nicy has gone on to work in #mentalhealth

As well as helping others, Mike also has certain habits that help his own #mental state.

‘#Suicide in many ways it’s like carrying a massive boulder around. You just can’t lose it,’ he says.

‘But I’m doing something now. I’m walking my dog. He’s a small, smelly little dog. But he’s got me out on this sunny day, and I’m walking outside. That’s got to be a huge plus.

‘So how do I cope day by day? Every day is different. The fundraising and awareness stuff I do takes up a lot of my life at the moment.

‘I do try and keep busy. I try and wake up every day with a plan.’

Mike has sought out therapy, gone to organizations such as Greater Manchester Bereavement Information Service for support, and contacted his GP – who he still regularly checks in with.

‘To be quite honest, my GP wasn’t really up to speed with post-#suicide support what was going on with me. She’s since made a huge effort to educate herself,’ he says.

‘But you have to talk, talk, talk and talk. Because you have to process it in the end. It really will never go away. That’s too much to hope for.

‘The #grief will change in time, so you will be able to operate.

‘It may not be the life you foresaw, but it’s a life still worth living – even if you’re living for other people, as well.’

Nicy adds: ‘Making #mentalhealth and wellbeing a focus point within our lives, relationships and in the workplace is going to be key to helping protect more people from the risk of #suicide, and help more people find the willingness to live.’

How can we support those affected by #suicide better?

- Continue to normalize conversations about #mentalhealth, as this allows for people to feel more comfortable sharing their feelings and opening up to receive support. 

- Simply asking someone how they’re feeling today, inviting them out for a walk, and letting them know they matter can help increase their sense of belonging. 

- Cultivating a sense of #hopefulness and having something to look forward to, knowing there is a light at the end of the tunnel, can make a difference. 


https://standingabovethecrowd.com/2023/06/jamesdonaldson-on-mentalheath-its-a-life-still-worth-living-the-people-left-behind-after-suicide/

Have you ever heard or encountered people who became insane because they know too much? Or are you sometimes regarded as having a #mentalhealthdisorder because of your ability to be highly educated? According to certain studies, #adults who have degrees which are advanced can be at risk for shattered #mentalhealth compared to those who are under the average quota. Sometimes, these people belong to the professional scene having a masters or doctor’s degree.

It was surprising to realize that participants who are regarded as highly educated expresses unsatisfactory #mentalhealth upon comparison to normalcy. Why does this happen? Perhaps work related #stress can be one of the very reasons. Competition in the workplace can be very disturbing and someone has to do something about the person on the next desk who keeps on nagging you with how the interview for chief executive had been a breeze. It is often the characteristics and the poor coping mechanisms that layoff the #mental hazards within the community of white collared executives.

Because highly educated individuals comprises a majority of America’s manpower, it is necessary that every company or the government to take immediate action about the mind bugging situation. Without proper thinking, work may be compromised.

Some of the reasons that were pinpointed to the public regarding the different aspects in their working environment are:

• Perceived work and relationship problems within the work area and inside the house as well

• Events and situation which are regarded to be very stressful on the part of the person

• Ability to cope with the difficult problems and situations in their lives

• Bad habits like #alcoholism or #drug medications like #antidepressants or anti-#anxiety

• Frequency of visits to their medical practitioner

Those who belong to a younger age are most likely to experience relapses in their #mental #behavior because of high level of home or work related #stress, #alcoholism, and usage of #drugs which can result to the dependency to the substance.

#James Donaldson notes:Welcome to the “next chapter” of my life… being a voice and an advocate for #mentalhealthawarenessandsuicideprevention, especially pertaining to our younger generation of students and student-athletes.Getting men to speak up and reach out for help and assistance is one of my passions. Us men need to not suffer in silence or drown our sorrows in alcohol, hang out at bars and strip joints, or get involved with drug use.Having gone through a recent bout of #depression and #suicidalthoughts myself, I realize now, that I can make a huge difference in the lives of so many by sharing my story, and by sharing various resources I come across as I work in this space.  #http://bit.ly/JamesMentalHealthArticleFind out more about the work I do on my 501c3 non-profit foundationwebsite www.yourgiftoflife.org Order your copy of James Donaldson's latest book,#CelebratingYourGiftofLife: From The Verge of Suicide to a Life of Purpose and Joy

www.celebratingyourgiftoflife.com

Home or work related #stress is referred to as those activities, responsibilities, and tasks that the individual must do in a certain time frame. At home, the #parent expects a higher salary while at work; on the other hand your boss wanted you to finish the newly given report within an hour, your co-worker has no intention of helping, another project is given set to be finished before 5, an emergency meeting has just been called up to discuss something about progress report.

These, with all other little things can put on so much pressure on an individual just because he is bright. Expectations can sometimes bring a person down to his knees and beg for an easier life. #Alcoholism and the use of illegal #drugs won’t do any good either. These factors will just add up to the laid injury.

Confidence is something that some of the researchers has stressed. It is said that because #adults is more adept in coping with a very difficult situation because of a heightened level of confidence. While younger ones are not yet at the verge of knowing the difference between right and wrong because their #self-esteem is still growing some roots.

Furthermore, it is stated that compared to #men, #women who belong within the more advanced degrees have higher #mentalhealth edge than #men.
https://standingabovethecrowd.com/2023/06/jamesdonaldson-on-mentalheath-extreme-education-can-cause-mentalhealthdisorders/

#JamesDonaldson On #MentalHeath – Extreme Education Can Cause #MentalHealthDisorders

Have you ever heard or encountered people who became insane because they know too much? Or are you sometimes regarded as having a #mentalhealthdisorder because of your ability to be highly educated? According to certain studies, #adults who have degrees which are advanced can be at risk for shattered #mentalhealth compared to those who are under the average quota. Sometimes, these people belong to the professional scene having a masters or doctor’s degree.

It was surprising to realize that participants who are regarded as highly educated expresses unsatisfactory #mentalhealth upon comparison to normalcy. Why does this happen? Perhaps work related #stress can be one of the very reasons. Competition in the workplace can be very disturbing and someone has to do something about the person on the next desk who keeps on nagging you with how the interview for chief executive had been a breeze. It is often the characteristics and the poor coping mechanisms that layoff the #mental hazards within the community of white collared executives.

Because highly educated individuals comprises a majority of America’s manpower, it is necessary that every company or the government to take immediate action about the mind bugging situation. Without proper thinking, work may be compromised.

Some of the reasons that were pinpointed to the public regarding the different aspects in their working environment are:

• Perceived work and relationship problems within the work area and inside the house as well

• Events and situation which are regarded to be very stressful on the part of the person

• Ability to cope with the difficult problems and situations in their lives

• Bad habits like #alcoholism or #drug medications like #antidepressants or anti-#anxiety

• Frequency of visits to their medical practitioner

Those who belong to a younger age are most likely to experience relapses in their #mental #behavior because of high level of home or work related #stress, #alcoholism, and usage of #drugs which can result to the dependency to the substance.

#James Donaldson notes:
Welcome to the “next chapter” of my life… being a voice and an advocate for #mentalhealthawarenessandsuicideprevention, especially pertaining to our younger generation of students and student-athletes.
Getting men to speak up and reach out for help and assistance is one of my passions. Us men need to not suffer in silence or drown our sorrows in alcohol, hang out at bars and strip joints, or get involved with drug use.
Having gone through a recent bout of #depression and #suicidalthoughts myself, I realize now, that I can make a huge difference in the lives of so many by sharing my story, and by sharing various resources I come across as I work in this space.  #http://bit.ly/JamesMentalHealthArticle
Find out more about the work I do on my 501c3 non-profit foundation
website www.yourgiftoflife.org Order your copy of James Donaldson's latest book,
#CelebratingYourGiftofLife: From The Verge of Suicide to a Life of Purpose and Joy



www.celebratingyourgiftoflife.com

Home or work related #stress is referred to as those activities, responsibilities, and tasks that the individual must do in a certain time frame. At home, the #parent expects a higher salary while at work; on the other hand your boss wanted you to finish the newly given report within an hour, your co-worker has no intention of helping, another project is given set to be finished before 5, an emergency meeting has just been called up to discuss something about progress report.

These, with all other little things can put on so much pressure on an individual just because he is bright. Expectations can sometimes bring a person down to his knees and beg for an easier life. #Alcoholism and the use of illegal #drugs won’t do any good either. These factors will just add up to the laid injury.

Confidence is something that some of the researchers has stressed. It is said that because #adults is more adept in coping with a very difficult situation because of a heightened level of confidence. While younger ones are not yet at the verge of knowing the difference between right and wrong because their #self-esteem is still growing some roots.

Furthermore, it is stated that compared to #men, #women who belong within the more advanced degrees have higher #mentalhealth edge than #men.

https://standingabovethecrowd.com/2023/06/jamesdonaldson-on-mentalheath-extreme-education-can-cause-mentalhealthdisorders/

When someone shows warning signs of #suicide, those around them are often at a loss: What should I do? What should I say? A critically important starting point is to simply ask the question: “Are you thinking about #suicide?”

It’s a myth that asking this question will somehow plant a seed in someone’s mind. In fact, it shows that someone saw and someone cares.

“People may already have had the thought and you asking the question, research tells us, often provides relief,” said Amber Reints, PMHNP, #psychiatric #mentalhealth #nurse practitioner of Avera #BehavioralHealth. “Asking the question gives the person an open door to respond honestly.”

The risk of #suicide is too serious to ignore. Consider these statistics:

- #Suicide is a leading cause of death in the #UnitedStates. In 2020, 1.2 million attempted #suicide and nearly 46,000 died by #suicide, according to the #CentersforDiseaseControlandPrevention.

- In 2021, South Dakota Department of Health reported 198 #suicide deaths — the highest number since tracking began.

The devastation left in the wake of #suicide leaves no question that prevention is critical.

Warning Signs of #Suicide

It’s important that we all are informed about the warning signs of #suicide. Knowledge allows us to recognize when someone is at risk and then support them in getting help.

Warning signs of #suicide include, but aren’t limited to:

- Expressions of #hopelessness or feeling trapped

- Talks about feeling empty or having no reason to live

- Increase in #drug and #alcohol use

- Loss of interest in things they used to enjoy

- Going through a current crisis or significant life change, such as #divorce, job loss, legal issues or #financial problems

“It’s better to ask, than to have wished you would’ve asked,” said Reints.

How to Ask If Someone Is Considering #Suicide

Approaching a person you’re concerned about can be difficult and should be handled sensitively. Allow these tips to guide you through the process:

- Be compassionate.

- Allow the individual to express themselves in full.

- Actively listen.

- Reaffirm that their concerns and pain are valid — and they are worthy of help and recovery.

- Be courageous and ask the question: “Are you thinking about #suicide?”

If the person answers “yes,” be sure to help them take the following steps:

- Remove means of #self-harm. “#Suicidalthoughts are fluid,” said Reints. “Even a person who received help and denied having thoughts of #suicide could begin to have #suicidalthoughts at a later time. They can remain at risk of an impulsive attempt.”

Because of the high impulsivity of #suicide, it’s important to modify our environment to increase safety. It’s recommended to immediately remove firearms, medication and other means of #self-harm from the living space of someone struggling with their #mentalhealth.

- Create a plan for help — together. The individual should get help as soon as possible. Remain with the person until they can be evaluated.

- Praise the person for their courage. “It’s courageous to admit you’re struggling with #suicidalthoughts,” said Reints. Praise the individual for the courageous choice they made to be honest with their thoughts.

#James Donaldson notes:Welcome to the “next chapter” of my life… being a voice and an advocate for #mentalhealthawarenessandsuicideprevention, especially pertaining to our younger generation of students and student-athletes.Getting men to speak up and reach out for help and assistance is one of my passions. Us men need to not suffer in silence or drown our sorrows in alcohol, hang out at bars and strip joints, or get involved with drug use.Having gone through a recent bout of #depression and #suicidalthoughts myself, I realize now, that I can make a huge difference in the lives of so many by sharing my story, and by sharing various resources I come across as I work in this space.  #http://bit.ly/JamesMentalHealthArticleFind out more about the work I do on my 501c3 non-profit foundationwebsite www.yourgiftoflife.org                            Order your copy of James Donaldson's latest book,#CelebratingYourGiftofLife:From The Verge of Suicide to a Life of Purpose and Joy

www.celebratingyourgiftoflife.com

What Not to Do

- Don’t minimize their pain or lecture them about things they should be grateful for. This can be very invalidating and lead to #isolation as it may reinforce the distorted belief that “no one understands.”

- Don’t try to fix them. “You wouldn’t fix someone having severe chest pain all by yourself,” said Reints. “Leave the evaluation and treatment to the professionals. It’s your role to connect the individual to an expert.”

- Don’t NOT follow up. A person who’s receiving help will appreciate your support. Along the journey, continue to check in and share your support.

“Every life is valuable and everyone can make a difference,” said Reints. “You can make a difference.”

Thoughts of #Suicide? Get Help Now

These resources are open 24/7 for immediate access:

- #988 – Call or text the #Suicide&CrisisLifeline for immediate help for you or someone you love.

- 800-691-4336 – Call this Avera #BehavioralHealth Urgent Care number to find #behavioralhealth services to fit your needs, whether that’s outpatient or inpatient care.

- #BehavioralHealth Urgent Care – If you live in Sioux Falls, go to the #Behavioral Health Urgent Care during a #mentalhealthcrisis.

- Emergency Department – If you don’t have a specialized urgent care, go to your local emergency department for immediate help.

- #BehavioralHealth Navigation – If not in crisis but seeking information on #behavioralhealthservices, reach out to Avera #Behavioral Health Navigation at 605-322-5142.
https://standingabovethecrowd.com/2023/06/jamesdonaldson-on-mentalhealth-how-to-ask-the-question-are-you-thinking-about-suicide/

#JamesDonaldson On #MentalHealth – How To Ask the Question: Are You Thinking About #Suicide?

When someone shows warning signs of #suicide, those around them are often at a loss: What should I do? What should I say? A critically important starting point is to simply ask the question: “Are you thinking about #suicide?”

It’s a myth that asking this question will somehow plant a seed in someone’s mind. In fact, it shows that someone saw and someone cares.

“People may already have had the thought and you asking the question, research tells us, often provides relief,” said Amber Reints, PMHNP, #psychiatric #mentalhealth #nurse practitioner of Avera #BehavioralHealth. “Asking the question gives the person an open door to respond honestly.”

The risk of #suicide is too serious to ignore. Consider these statistics:

- #Suicide is a leading cause of death in the #UnitedStates. In 2020, 1.2 million attempted #suicide and nearly 46,000 died by #suicide, according to the #CentersforDiseaseControlandPrevention.

- In 2021, South Dakota Department of Health reported 198 #suicide deaths — the highest number since tracking began.

The devastation left in the wake of #suicide leaves no question that prevention is critical.

Warning Signs of #Suicide

It’s important that we all are informed about the warning signs of #suicide. Knowledge allows us to recognize when someone is at risk and then support them in getting help.

Warning signs of #suicide include, but aren’t limited to:

- Expressions of #hopelessness or feeling trapped

- Talks about feeling empty or having no reason to live

- Increase in #drug and #alcohol use

- Loss of interest in things they used to enjoy

- Going through a current crisis or significant life change, such as #divorce, job loss, legal issues or #financial problems

“It’s better to ask, than to have wished you would’ve asked,” said Reints.

How to Ask If Someone Is Considering #Suicide

Approaching a person you’re concerned about can be difficult and should be handled sensitively. Allow these tips to guide you through the process:

- Be compassionate.

- Allow the individual to express themselves in full.

- Actively listen.

- Reaffirm that their concerns and pain are valid — and they are worthy of help and recovery.

- Be courageous and ask the question: “Are you thinking about #suicide?”

If the person answers “yes,” be sure to help them take the following steps:

- Remove means of #self-harm. “#Suicidalthoughts are fluid,” said Reints. “Even a person who received help and denied having thoughts of #suicide could begin to have #suicidalthoughts at a later time. They can remain at risk of an impulsive attempt.”

Because of the high impulsivity of #suicide, it’s important to modify our environment to increase safety. It’s recommended to immediately remove firearms, medication and other means of #self-harm from the living space of someone struggling with their #mentalhealth.

- Create a plan for help — together. The individual should get help as soon as possible. Remain with the person until they can be evaluated.

- Praise the person for their courage. “It’s courageous to admit you’re struggling with #suicidalthoughts,” said Reints. Praise the individual for the courageous choice they made to be honest with their thoughts.

#James Donaldson notes:
Welcome to the “next chapter” of my life… being a voice and an advocate for #mentalhealthawarenessandsuicideprevention, especially pertaining to our younger generation of students and student-athletes.
Getting men to speak up and reach out for help and assistance is one of my passions. Us men need to not suffer in silence or drown our sorrows in alcohol, hang out at bars and strip joints, or get involved with drug use.
Having gone through a recent bout of #depression and #suicidalthoughts myself, I realize now, that I can make a huge difference in the lives of so many by sharing my story, and by sharing various resources I come across as I work in this space.  #http://bit.ly/JamesMentalHealthArticle
Find out more about the work I do on my 501c3 non-profit foundation
website www.yourgiftoflife.org                            Order your copy of James Donaldson's latest book,
#CelebratingYourGiftofLife:
From The Verge of Suicide to a Life of Purpose and Joy



www.celebratingyourgiftoflife.com

What Not to Do

- Don’t minimize their pain or lecture them about things they should be grateful for. This can be very invalidating and lead to #isolation as it may reinforce the distorted belief that “no one understands.”

- Don’t try to fix them. “You wouldn’t fix someone having severe chest pain all by yourself,” said Reints. “Leave the evaluation and treatment to the professionals. It’s your role to connect the individual to an expert.”

- Don’t NOT follow up. A person who’s receiving help will appreciate your support. Along the journey, continue to check in and share your support.

“Every life is valuable and everyone can make a difference,” said Reints. “You can make a difference.”

Thoughts of #Suicide? Get Help Now

These resources are open 24/7 for immediate access:

- #988 – Call or text the #Suicide&CrisisLifeline for immediate help for you or someone you love.

- 800-691-4336 – Call this Avera #BehavioralHealth Urgent Care number to find #behavioralhealth services to fit your needs, whether that’s outpatient or inpatient care.

- #BehavioralHealth Urgent Care – If you live in Sioux Falls, go to the #Behavioral Health Urgent Care during a #mentalhealthcrisis.

- Emergency Department – If you don’t have a specialized urgent care, go to your local emergency department for immediate help.

- #BehavioralHealth Navigation – If not in crisis but seeking information on #behavioralhealthservices, reach out to Avera #Behavioral Health Navigation at 605-322-5142.


https://standingabovethecrowd.com/2023/06/jamesdonaldson-on-mentalhealth-how-to-ask-the-question-are-you-thinking-about-suicide/

#JamesDonaldson On #MentalHealth – #SleepDisorders Associated With #SuicidalThoughts In #Youth

Photo by cottonbro studio on Pexels.com

 by University of Oregon

BYLINE: Laurel Hamers, University Communications

Having a #sleepdisorder is linked to an increased risk of #suicidalideation in #kids, #teens and young #adults, University of Oregon research finds.

The study, co-led by Melynda Casement, associate professor of #psychology at the University of Oregon, was published June 16 in the journal Sleep Health.

#Suicide is one of the leading causes of death for #teenagers and young #adults. Roughly one in five #highschool #students has seriously considered #suicide, according to the #NationalAllianceonMentalIllness.

Casement and her collaborator Jason Carbone of Wayne State University looked at emergency department records for a nationally representative sample of #youth ages 6 to 24. #Youth who had a #sleepdisorder were three times more likely to present to an emergency department with #suicidalthoughts than #youth who did not, the researchers found.

The prevalence of diagnosed #sleepdisorders in the #emergencyroom data sample was much lower than would be expected in the general population — just 0.38%, Casement noted. That suggest #sleepdisorders are underdiagnosed in emergency medicine.

The study found a correlation between #sleep health and #suicidalthoughts, not a causal link. But taken together with other research, the results suggest that #sleepdisorders could be a risk factor for #suicidalideation, even accounting for other mood and #substanceusedisorders, according to Casement.

#James Donaldson notes:
Welcome to the “next chapter” of my life… being a voice and an advocate for #mentalhealthawarenessandsuicideprevention, especially pertaining to our younger generation of students and student-athletes.
Getting men to speak up and reach out for help and assistance is one of my passions. Us men need to not suffer in silence or drown our sorrows in alcohol, hang out at bars and strip joints, or get involved with drug use.
Having gone through a recent bout of #depression and #suicidalthoughts myself, I realize now, that I can make a huge difference in the lives of so many by sharing my story, and by sharing various resources I come across as I work in this space.  #http://bit.ly/JamesMentalHealthArticle
Find out more about the work I do on my 501c3 non-profit foundation
website www.yourgiftoflife.org                            Order your copy of James Donaldson's latest book,
#CelebratingYourGiftofLife:
From The Verge of Suicide to a Life of Purpose and Joy



www.celebratingyourgiftofolife.com

“People so often think of #sleepdisorders as being a symptom of other #mentalhealthproblems like #depression or #anxiety,” Casement said. “But sleep problems can also contribute to #anxiety, #mooddisorders, and #suiciderisk.”

Screening #youth for #sleepdisorders when they show up in the ER could also provide an indication of #suiciderisk.

“Being aware of the impact of #sleep disruption gives us an avenue to try to address sleep issues as well as downstream consequences,” Casement said. #Suicide is still stigmatized in many communities; sleep is less so. Identifying and treating #sleepdisorders could improve #mentalhealth and reduce #suiciderisk even if people aren’t comfortable opening up about their #mentalhealthchallenges.

“It gives us a wider range of inroads to tackle #suicidalideation and #mentalhealth — you can address the sleep problem and have good effects on mood and #anxiety,” Casement said.

Casement recently launched a sleep lab on the UO campus, where her team is studying whether improving sleep quality can boost #mentalhealth in #teens and young #adults. Information about ongoing studies is available at https://sleepstudy.uoregon.edu.

Photo by cottonbro studio on Pexels.com
https://standingabovethecrowd.com/2023/06/jamesdonaldson-on-mentalhealth-sleepdisorders-associated-with-suicidalthoughts-in-youth/

Photo by cottonbro studio on Pexels.com

 by University of Oregon

BYLINE: Laurel Hamers, University Communications

Having a #sleepdisorder is linked to an increased risk of #suicidalideation in #kids, #teens and young #adults, University of Oregon research finds.

The study, co-led by Melynda Casement, associate professor of #psychology at the University of Oregon, was published June 16 in the journal Sleep Health.

#Suicide is one of the leading causes of death for #teenagers and young #adults. Roughly one in five #highschool #students has seriously considered #suicide, according to the #NationalAllianceonMentalIllness.

Casement and her collaborator Jason Carbone of Wayne State University looked at emergency department records for a nationally representative sample of #youth ages 6 to 24. #Youth who had a #sleepdisorder were three times more likely to present to an emergency department with #suicidalthoughts than #youth who did not, the researchers found.

The prevalence of diagnosed #sleepdisorders in the #emergencyroom data sample was much lower than would be expected in the general population — just 0.38%, Casement noted. That suggest #sleepdisorders are underdiagnosed in emergency medicine.

The study found a correlation between #sleep health and #suicidalthoughts, not a causal link. But taken together with other research, the results suggest that #sleepdisorders could be a risk factor for #suicidalideation, even accounting for other mood and #substanceusedisorders, according to Casement.

#James Donaldson notes:Welcome to the “next chapter” of my life… being a voice and an advocate for #mentalhealthawarenessandsuicideprevention, especially pertaining to our younger generation of students and student-athletes.Getting men to speak up and reach out for help and assistance is one of my passions. Us men need to not suffer in silence or drown our sorrows in alcohol, hang out at bars and strip joints, or get involved with drug use.Having gone through a recent bout of #depression and #suicidalthoughts myself, I realize now, that I can make a huge difference in the lives of so many by sharing my story, and by sharing various resources I come across as I work in this space.  #http://bit.ly/JamesMentalHealthArticleFind out more about the work I do on my 501c3 non-profit foundationwebsite www.yourgiftoflife.org                            Order your copy of James Donaldson's latest book,#CelebratingYourGiftofLife:From The Verge of Suicide to a Life of Purpose and Joy

www.celebratingyourgiftofolife.com

“People so often think of #sleepdisorders as being a symptom of other #mentalhealthproblems like #depression or #anxiety,” Casement said. “But sleep problems can also contribute to #anxiety, #mooddisorders, and #suiciderisk.”

Screening #youth for #sleepdisorders when they show up in the ER could also provide an indication of #suiciderisk.

“Being aware of the impact of #sleep disruption gives us an avenue to try to address sleep issues as well as downstream consequences,” Casement said. #Suicide is still stigmatized in many communities; sleep is less so. Identifying and treating #sleepdisorders could improve #mentalhealth and reduce #suiciderisk even if people aren’t comfortable opening up about their #mentalhealthchallenges.

“It gives us a wider range of inroads to tackle #suicidalideation and #mentalhealth — you can address the sleep problem and have good effects on mood and #anxiety,” Casement said.

Casement recently launched a sleep lab on the UO campus, where her team is studying whether improving sleep quality can boost #mentalhealth in #teens and young #adults. Information about ongoing studies is available at https://sleepstudy.uoregon.edu.

Photo by cottonbro studio on Pexels.com
https://standingabovethecrowd.com/2023/06/jamesdonaldson-on-mentalhealth-sleepdisorders-associated-with-suicidalthoughts-in-youth/

#JamesDonaldson On #MentalHealth – #SleepDisorders Associated With #SuicidalThoughts In #Youth

Photo by cottonbro studio on Pexels.com

 by University of Oregon

BYLINE: Laurel Hamers, University Communications

Having a #sleepdisorder is linked to an increased risk of #suicidalideation in #kids, #teens and young #adults, University of Oregon research finds.

The study, co-led by Melynda Casement, associate professor of #psychology at the University of Oregon, was published June 16 in the journal Sleep Health.

#Suicide is one of the leading causes of death for #teenagers and young #adults. Roughly one in five #highschool #students has seriously considered #suicide, according to the #NationalAllianceonMentalIllness.

Casement and her collaborator Jason Carbone of Wayne State University looked at emergency department records for a nationally representative sample of #youth ages 6 to 24. #Youth who had a #sleepdisorder were three times more likely to present to an emergency department with #suicidalthoughts than #youth who did not, the researchers found.

The prevalence of diagnosed #sleepdisorders in the #emergencyroom data sample was much lower than would be expected in the general population — just 0.38%, Casement noted. That suggest #sleepdisorders are underdiagnosed in emergency medicine.

The study found a correlation between #sleep health and #suicidalthoughts, not a causal link. But taken together with other research, the results suggest that #sleepdisorders could be a risk factor for #suicidalideation, even accounting for other mood and #substanceusedisorders, according to Casement.

#James Donaldson notes:
Welcome to the “next chapter” of my life… being a voice and an advocate for #mentalhealthawarenessandsuicideprevention, especially pertaining to our younger generation of students and student-athletes.
Getting men to speak up and reach out for help and assistance is one of my passions. Us men need to not suffer in silence or drown our sorrows in alcohol, hang out at bars and strip joints, or get involved with drug use.
Having gone through a recent bout of #depression and #suicidalthoughts myself, I realize now, that I can make a huge difference in the lives of so many by sharing my story, and by sharing various resources I come across as I work in this space.  #http://bit.ly/JamesMentalHealthArticle
Find out more about the work I do on my 501c3 non-profit foundation
website www.yourgiftoflife.org                            Order your copy of James Donaldson's latest book,
#CelebratingYourGiftofLife:
From The Verge of Suicide to a Life of Purpose and Joy



www.celebratingyourgiftofolife.com

“People so often think of #sleepdisorders as being a symptom of other #mentalhealthproblems like #depression or #anxiety,” Casement said. “But sleep problems can also contribute to #anxiety, #mooddisorders, and #suiciderisk.”

Screening #youth for #sleepdisorders when they show up in the ER could also provide an indication of #suiciderisk.

“Being aware of the impact of #sleep disruption gives us an avenue to try to address sleep issues as well as downstream consequences,” Casement said. #Suicide is still stigmatized in many communities; sleep is less so. Identifying and treating #sleepdisorders could improve #mentalhealth and reduce #suiciderisk even if people aren’t comfortable opening up about their #mentalhealthchallenges.

“It gives us a wider range of inroads to tackle #suicidalideation and #mentalhealth — you can address the sleep problem and have good effects on mood and #anxiety,” Casement said.

Casement recently launched a sleep lab on the UO campus, where her team is studying whether improving sleep quality can boost #mentalhealth in #teens and young #adults. Information about ongoing studies is available at https://sleepstudy.uoregon.edu.

Photo by cottonbro studio on Pexels.com
https://standingabovethecrowd.com/2023/06/jamesdonaldson-on-mentalhealth-sleepdisorders-associated-with-suicidalthoughts-in-youth/

Start by listening without judgment, not trying to 'fix' them

Writer: Stephanie Dowd, PsyD

Clinical Experts: Stephanie Dowd, PsyD , David Friedlander, PsyD

What You'll Learn

- What are the signs of depression in teenagers?

- What can parents to do to help teenagers who may be depressed?

- How is depression treated?

- Quick Read

- Full Article

- Be supportive

- Accentuate the positive

- Helping kids with depression get treatment

- Why depression treatment might not be working

- Taking care of yourself

Signs that a teen might be depressed include being sad or irritable, losing interest in things that they used enjoy, changes in eating or sleeping habits, and low energy. Feeling worthless or hopeless about the future is a big warning sign. And a drop in grades or trouble concentrating at school can also be a symptom. If your teen shows more than a few of these signs and they don’t go away after a couple of weeks, they may have depression. And while you can’t make them want to get better, there are some things you can do to help.

#Kids who are grumpy and down can be frustrating, especially if they don’t seem to be trying to help themselves. But it’s important to let them know you’re taking their feelings seriously. For example, you could say, “It seems like you’ve been really down lately. Is that true?” Make it clear you want to understand what’s troubling them without trying to jump in and solve the problem.

Ask questions and try not to judge. By listening, you’re letting them know that you hear them and you’re trying to understand. Remember, you’re not there to “fix” them. Listening without judgment will make them feel more comfortable reaching out when they’re ready to talk.

Depression can make doing even the smallest things more difficult. Make a point of noticing even simple positive things your teen does, like going to school or doing the dishes. And highlight ways they’re taking care of themselves, like doing homework, spending time with family, or keeping up with friends. Remember, this is not the time to be critical. They don’t want to feel this way. If they could snap their fingers and feel better, they would.

Try to give them opportunities to do things without being critical. Instead of saying, “Honey, you should really get up and do something,” you might say: “I’m going to do an errand. Do you want to come with me? Maybe we can get lunch together.”

Getting depressed teens into treatment can be tricky. If your child doesn’t want to go, be patient and persistent. Give them space, and let them know you’re there when they’re ready. When your teen is ready, let them choose a therapist they connect with. Make sure that whoever they decide on practices a therapy that works well for depression. Interpersonal therapy (IPT), cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), and dialectical behavioral therapy (DBT) are often good choices. Many teens with depression also benefit from medication.

If your child is already in treatment but it isn’t helping, it may be time to make a change. This could be a different course of treatment, a new medication, or changing therapists.

When kids are young, parents are used to swooping in and rescuing them whenever they need help. As your kids get older and their problems become more complex, you have to transition into more of a supporting role, and that can be difficult. This is especially true with teens who are struggling with depression. They need help to get better, but first they have to want that help.

Signs your child is depressed:

- Have they been sad or irritable most of the day, most days in a week for at least two weeks?

- Have they lost interest in things that they used to really enjoy?

- Have their eating or sleeping habits changed?

- Do they have very little energy, very little motivation to do much of anything?

- Are they feeling worthless, hopeless about their future, or guilty about things that aren’t their fault?

- Have their grades dropped, or are they finding it difficult to concentrate?

- Have they had thoughts of #suicide? If so it’s crucial you have them evaluated by a #mentalhealthprofessional immediately. If the thoughts are really serious and there is imminent threat, you will need to take them to an ER.

If your teen shows more than a few of these signs they may have depression that warrants professional attention. While you can’t make them want to get better, there are some things that you as their parent can do. And it starts with simply being there for them.

Be supportive

One of the most important things you can do for your teen is to work on strengthening your relationship. Try to build empathy and understanding by putting yourself in their shoes. You might be frustrated that they seem down and irritable a lot of the time and don’t seem to be doing much of anything to help themselves. But if there isn’t much in their life that is making them happy, or something intensely disappointing has happened to them, it’s understandable that they might avoid things they used to enjoy and retreat to their room. Depression makes even doing the smallest things more difficult.

Try to validate their emotions, not their unhealthy #behavior. For example, you could say, “It seems as though you’ve been really down lately. Is that true?” Make it clear that you want to try to understand what’s troubling them without trying to problem solve.

Be compassionately curious. Ask them questions about their mood gently, without being emotional. Even parents with the best intentions often don’t realize that their concern can come across as critical rather than loving. Do not be judgmental or try to solve their problems, even if you disagree with their point of view. Listening to them talk about their problems might seem as though you’re highlighting the negative, but in fact, you’re letting them know that you hear them, you see them, and you’re trying to understand — not fix them. People don’t like to be fixed. Listening without judgment will actually make them more likely to view you as an ally and someone they can turn to when they’re ready to talk.

Try also to give them opportunities to do things without being critical of them. Instead of saying, “Honey, you should really get up and do something. How about calling an old friend?” you might say, “I’m going to the mall to do an errand. Let me know if you want to come with me, and maybe we can get lunch together.”

For some #parents, this can feel passive, as though you’re not doing enough. But being there for them and communicating your acceptance is exactly what they needs from you right now. It’s actually a very active way to strengthen your relationship.

Accentuate the positive

Make sure you’re noticing the positive things your teen does, too. Going to #school, holding down a part-time job, doing the dishes or picking up their brother from soccer practice: These are all good things they’re doing, and it’s important to recognize them rather than thinking, “This is what they should be doing.” We all like to be appreciated and recognized for doing a good job even when it’s expected of us.

Ask yourself how many positive things have you said to them today? How many negative things have you said? How many times have you highlighted their problems or tried to fix them? The positive should outweigh the negative. Let them know that you’re proud of them, that they’re doing a good job if you see them taking care of themselves, doing homework, interacting with the family, or doing other things that take effort. They’ll likely appreciate that you noticed.

Likewise, you don’t need to mention that you’re disappointed they aren’t hanging out with friends as much or taking the interest they used to in guitar, for example. They probably feel disappointed, too, and don’t need to be reminded of what’s not going well in their life. They don’t want to feel this way. If they could snap their fingers and feel better, they would.

#James Donaldson notes:Welcome to the “next chapter” of my life… being a voice and an advocate for #mentalhealthawarenessandsuicideprevention, especially pertaining to our younger generation of students and student-athletes.Getting men to speak up and reach out for help and assistance is one of my passions. Us men need to not suffer in silence or drown our sorrows in alcohol, hang out at bars and strip joints, or get involved with drug use.Having gone through a recent bout of #depression and #suicidalthoughts myself, I realize now, that I can make a huge difference in the lives of so many by sharing my story, and by sharing various resources I come across as I work in this space.  #http://bit.ly/JamesMentalHealthArticleFind out more about the work I do on my 501c3 non-profit foundationwebsite www.yourgiftoflife.org                            Order your copy of James Donaldson's latest book,#CelebratingYourGiftofLife:From The Verge of Suicide to a Life of Purpose and Joy

www.celebratingyourgiftofolife.com

Helping kids with depression get treatment

Some teens will want to go to therapy when you ask them and some won’t. For those who are resistant, know that they aren’t going to suddenly open up to the idea of therapy (or to you) quickly, but you can help guide them towards treatment by opening the door and then waiting patiently for them to walk through it.

Try saying, “I know you’re having a hard time, and I have some ideas of things that could help. If you’d like to talk with me about them, let me know. I’m here for you.” It’s also a good idea to ask them if they has any suggestions on how you might be able to help. You might be surprised with what they have to say.

Be aware that your teen might tell you to back off. That’s fine; it’s their way — albeit a slightly irritable one — of telling you that they need space. It’s normal for teenagers to want independence, and it’s important for you to respect that. You can respond by saying, “I’ll give you more space, but know that I’m here for you if you ever want to talk or hear my suggestions.”

If they do come to you wanting help, be prepared. Do your research. Find two or three therapists they can interview and tell them that they can choose the one that they feel most comfortable with, and think will help the most. Finding a therapist who is a good fit is extremely important, and making the choice theirs will help them feel ownership over their own treatment, which is extremely important to teens and sets the stage for effective therapy.

It’s also important to know that there are several different kinds of therapy that might be helpful for your teen, including some well-studied behavioral therapies. #Interpersonaltherapy (#IPT),#cognitivebehavioraltherapy (#CBT), and #dialecticalbehavioraltherapy (#DBT) have all been shown to be helpful for teenagers with depression. Make sure that your child has had a thorough evaluation that includes treatment recommendations to help guide you.

Many teens with depression benefit from medication, such as an anti-depressant. While therapy alone may be effective with mild to moderate depression, the best results are usually gained with a combination of medication and therapy. If #depression medication is a consideration, it is strongly recommended that you make an appointment with a board certified #child and #adolescent #psychiatrist (rather than a general #physician) for a consultation.

Why depression treatment might not be working

If your #child already is in treatment but it isn’t helping, ask them why they think that is. What isn’t helpful or what don’t they like about therapy? Are there things about therapy they do like? Maybe you can work together to find a #therapist who does more of the things they like. If you do consider changing #therapists, it’s important to discuss this with their current therapist before the decision to change is made. Many times, the therapy and/or the therapeutic relationship can be improved.

Keep in mind that therapy usually isn’t effective if the person in treatment isn’t committed to it, or is doing it to please someone else. Your #child should want to get better for themselves. Unfortunately, sometimes people have to get worse before they want help. But the good news is that if you lay the groundwork by strengthening your connection now, they’ll be more likely to turn to you for support when they’re finally ready.

Taking care of yourself

Lastly, it’s important to make sure that you’re taking care of yourself. It can be emotionally and physically exhausting to be a parent of someone who is struggling with #depression. Know that you are not alone, and get support for yourself. Make sure that you make time to do things you enjoy and go out with friends. The phrase: happy mommy (or daddy) = happy baby (read: #teenager) still applies!
https://standingabovethecrowd.com/2023/06/jamesdonaldson-on-mentalhealth-what-to-do-if-you-think-your-teenager-is-depressed-3/